Digimon Fan Fiction ❯ Persona: The Chosen Child of Purity ❯ The Mask I Shed in Tears ( Chapter 1 )

Author's Note: This series is a total rewrite of one of many characters of Digimon. For now I will concentrate on two characters. It is sort of a cross between Digimon and a little of Serial Experiment: Lain. A bit of Star Wars also later on. Please pardon the absolute awkwardness of this fic: Really goofy dialogue, bad spelling, bad grammar, bad verb tense, and all that. This is my first attempt at Digimon Fanfiction. As with all my writing, they suck. I always overuse the ellipsis to express thought. I am not that good in psychology also. This is a work in progress that needs A LOT of work.

Important Note: If there is anything in this story that resembles anyone else's work, I apologize. This was an original story I wrote back in May 2000. It was revised here and there over the months. After seeing the movie, I rewrote the first journal entry. I try to strive for originality. Heck, there are over 7,777 Digimon fiction on FanFiction.net out there! I tried my best to be original. My work pales to the other great work done by much better authors.

Warning: This story totally twists and bends the characters from Digimon. Not to worry, the characters will remain as close to the series. However, I have added a little more exploring into their characters than the series lets on… and BOOM! The whole story goes downward in a twisting spiral; goes off the deep end and POW! It ends with everyone's head spinning! If you don't want that to happen, don't read any further! If you are used to this kind of goofiness, then you may proceed. Reviews are welcomed.

Oh yes… In order to make this story more interesting than it should be; I kept the identity of the character from being revealed. Of course with the few obvious hints as the character tells the story, you should know who it is. It takes place in Season 01, before the DigiDestined arrive in the Digital World.

Disclaimer: I do not own Digimon, Serial Experiment: Lain, or Star Wars.

Persona: The Masks I Shed in Tears

by Mimi, Myself, & Iz.

August 1999

A young adult… Twelve years old...

"Home at last!" I say as I took my shoes off and made my way through the living room. I saw my Mother cooking dinner in the kitchen. "Hello, Mother!" I greeted.

My Mother turned around and smiled at me. She put the spoon down and went up to me and gave me a hug. "Welcome home, dear," she said in her naturally cheery voice. "How was your day at school?" she asked.

"Perfect! As usual," I replied giving her a smile.

"That's good to hear," she smiled. "Dinner will be ready in 23 minutes. We're having you're favorite! Chicken katsu!"

"Great!" I said. Then I noticed the faint yet awful smell of burning rice. "Um, Mother, I think dinner might need a few extra minutes for it to be ready."

"OH NO! THE RICE!" She turned and ran towards the stove and carefully removed the smoldering pot of overcooked rice.

I sighed. My Mother never ceases to amaze me. I remembered my manners… "Need help, Mother?"

"NO, DEAR! I'M OKAY! I'M OKAY! I'M OKAY!" She manages to get the pot under the running sink water before it burst into flames while turning the stove burner off with her toes.

I know I should help her, but I might end up hurting myself. Despite some sticky situations, my Mother is still a pro in the kitchen. "Um, okay, Mother." I made my way to the stairs and said to her, "I am going upstairs to check on my computer. Okay, Mother?"

A loud crash of another pot answered me. I heard her say something I do not want to repeat. She was okay in the kitchen no matter what happened I concluded. I sighed again and continued my way to my bedroom.

I entered my bedroom. I take a look at my surroundings in contempt. Here and there, things I put with… 'Was it all worth it to become this person who people only see the outside?' I realized that I was just standing there not moving for over a minute. Shaking my head I continued on to a door directly across from my bedroom door. The door is plain compared to the rest of my bedroom. When my friends visit, they never even notice this door when they hang around my bedroom. This door is a mask that hides my other self. Behind it is the self that would make my friends turn away from me. I laugh. 'Are they really my friends?'

I grabbed my Pineapple NAVI laptop out from my large bag. Some of my friends kind of got used to me using this occasionally. I mean we all have to do homework on these things! It is not that I would just surf the web like they do. Well, my laptop is much more advanced than the ones my classmates have to use in the school's computer lab. Still, I gave my laptop a specific look so no one would dare get suspicious of me. My friends and classmates all say that my modified laptop is cute! It suites me! Another mask... A mask that my laptop wears. In itself it was still a mask under another mask of myself.

I gripped the doorknob and opened the door. After feeling the light gust of sterile ventilated air, I stepped inside. This room was as big as my bedroom. However, unlike my bedroom, this room has a totally different... feel to it. The lights were off. Only the late afternoon ambience shown through the sealed glass windows was able to cast light to the center of the room. I glanced out the windows. Outside it was a bit hazy... 'Come to think of it, the weather was sure becoming strange these past few days...'

I usually liked to work in the dim light, but I did not feel like it today. Today I felt... so alive! Maybe because school was finally out for the summer and I have to go to summer camp! With that thought in mind, I flicked on the light switch. The lights finally flickered on. I heard the soft sound of the air conditioning unit activate at full power as well. With the room well lighted, my sight settled to the center of the room. There stood my beloved Sony NAVtop PC, or just plain NAVI.

The room feels more like those clean computer rooms that I have seen at my father's workplace. The room had white walls and flooring; a low-power air conditioner; special ceiling tiles for the air conditioner to circulate and filter the air. The Sony NAVI system itself was set up upon a large maple and black laminate L-shaped workcenter desk. Various matching storage and file cabinets were around the desk. In the center of it all was a very comfortable black leather task chair... My father paid no expense to keep this room tidy for my NAVI. Actually this whole room was another child bedroom with one more across. The door opposite from this room's door was locked for a reason. Only the hall doorway gave access to the third bedroom. I still cannot imagine myself having any more siblings.

The Sony NAVI system was a simple clear casing design. It had a twenty-inch flat-panel display. A surround-sound speaker system was placed at opposite ends of the desk. Underneath the desk was a standard keyboard and mouse pad that supports a cordless optical mouse that can be drawn out. Near the CPU were several optical-drives and three removable disk drives connected. A scanner was located on the right of the flat-panel display. A color printer/fax/copier, a cell phone, and two digital cameras were at the opposite side. Connected from the back of the CPU was a high-speed Internet satellite connection system.

The CPU itself practically screamed innovation, imagination, and technology at the same time. On the outside, the CPU appears more like an empty glass box of all things. Looks can be deceiving. The three duel microprocessors it housed ran at a speed of two gigahertz. Everything was so small it seemed the whole CPU was indeed nothing but an empty glass box. In it contained a high-end graphics card and sound card with five hundred twelve megabytes of memory. To top it all off, it has an expandable hard drive of eighty gigabytes to boot. With all that, the NAVI was top-of-the-line and state-of-the-art. A computer that can be easily upgraded by the user… or by itself! I really love this machine! I cannot imagine what the next millenium would bring.

With all that school work out of the way, I have time with my journal. I laughed and thought 'With all this computing power, all I want to do is review my little journal.' Just to review a bit before I leave for summer camp. Also I needed to download certain private files from my laptop. I sat in the nice comfortable leather task chair and turned on the power station. I stared at the blank screen of my NAVI. Within seconds, the computer comes alive. A nice opening music fills my ears. The wallpaper is a constant active shifting of soft color designs and hues. It almost serves as a screen saver. In its strange computer voice, it greets me.

I typed in my login name and password. It then asks for a voice-recognition password... my voice... my real Father's name... With that the computer opens my own custom desktop with all of today's events and incoming mail.

The flash notice of the summer camp session on the corner of the screen I did not need reminding of. There were only a few junk e-mails and a few from my friends. I can read those later… way later. There was one e-mail sent from a person with the address gennai@file.com. No one I know of. Must be another junk e-mail. However, this one was different. For some strange reason, the address was flashing unlike the others. I found it strange. I did not know my desktop was set up to do that. With interest, I opened it. It was blank. No attachments. Nothing. 'Great, probably just a mistake,' I thought as I erased it. Thankfully it was not carrying any viruses or my NAVI would have taken care of it automatically. I watch the animation as the little crumpled paper icon gets thrown into the wastebasket icon. 'Darn, that is getting old,' I thought. 'I have not gotten a good desktop theme in a long time.'

I pulled open my Pineapple NAVI laptop and it instantly connected with the bigger Sony NAVtop PC. The Sony NAVI anticipated what I wanted to do and began a secure download of the files from the laptop to the NAVI drives. With that done, I switched applications and began to quickly scan through my little private journal on the NAVI. A private electronic diary. I skipped a few entries here and there. Just then I noticed specific entries that were the main causes of all of these masks I wear. As I read them again, my memory fills in the images from when I had started writing them down. Some of them were quite painful to relive again.

~~~~~~~

A child…

Five years old...

My old residence at Heighten View Terrace. My old home. It was night, I felt so sad and alone in my old bedroom. I was not sure why. I felt as if I was empty, as if there was more to me then I believed. Then I heard a loud crash. I opened the sliding door to my bedroom balcony and stepped out. I looked down from my forth-story balcony to the streets below. What I saw astonished me…

I remembered seeing the two monsters fight on the streets below. One monster looked like a giant green parrot. The other was an orange Tyrannosaurus looking monster. It looked like the orange dinosaur had a strange spiked helmet on. The monsters were fighting each other. Rubble from surrounding buildings, bridges, concrete roads, and sidewalks flew as the monsters fought each other. The parrot was winning. The orange dinosaur fell unconscious under the highway overpass.

I saw two children beside the fallen giant orange dinosaur. One child was a little baby girl in teddy-bear pajamas. The other child was an older boy, almost my age, with really badly combed brown hair. As I continued to watch, it looked like the children were sad for the fallen orange dinosaur. Several other children from the surrounding residences joined in watching the fighting from their own balconies. At first I was astonished and would be terrified of these two monsters, but somehow I felt in my heart that the orange dinosaur was friendly to the two children. It was protecting them. Now it was hurt badly. I felt sad for it. It looked like it was dead. I felt a solitary tear rolling down my check…

Then I heard a loud whistle… The older one was blowing a small whistle with all his might. The orange dinosaur awoke…

The orange dinosaur fought the parrot with amazing strength and firepower. The dinosaur won. A bright flash… Then all of a sudden, they were gone.

I am not sure what happened to me next. I remembered being surrounded by light. It seemed to have been coming like a beam from the sky. It was strange. I felt strange… as if something inside of me was awakening. Something so wonderful and pure… Then it was gone. I felt empty again. I blacked out on the balcony.

My parents awoke me the next morning. I found myself in my own bed. I told my parents about the monsters fighting on the streets below. They did not believe me. It was just a bad dream they said. Angrily, I dragged them outside to the balcony and showed them the exact street where it happened. The damage was still there. The entire street looked like it was torn to shreds. In fact the extent of damage extended four blocks! Rubble was everywhere. It did happened! It was no dream!

However, my parents said something like it was from a terrorist bombing. They did not believe me… I felt so confused after that. Was it really something else? Monsters are not real, they said. I soon believed them. I was dreaming. All that loud noises must have influenced my dreams. It was the only logical thing. A few days later, we moved away from Heighten View Terrace…

~~~~~~~

A child...

Seven years old...

I remembered after we moved away from Heighten View Terrace, things have not been going well with me and school. I still went to the same school as before. Not that I did not do well academically… It was that I was doing TOO well. My classmates were jealous of me when I was transferred two grades higher just in the first semester. The names the others called me. They threatened me. They hurt me. I did not want them to hate me. Why was it wrong? I could not stand it! With a rage that was now burning inside me, I done something I would have never thought I would ever do. I struck back at them.

All I remember after that was that I found myself at home. Tears on my face. My school uniform was all in a mess. My Mother was shocked at my appearance. She instinctively embraced my crying form. Even though I was hurting both physically and emotionally, I felt at ease in her arms.

"What's wrong, dear? What happened?" my Mother asked as she held me, never letting go.

"Oh, Mother! The other kids hate me!" I choked out as my face was still buried in her embrace. Hopefully she would not notice some of the bruises on my arm and a few spots of blood on my hands.

"Why, dear? Why would they hate a smart kind loving child like you?"

"Because of my advancement to the higher grade. They think I'm too smart! TOO SMART! They call me names…"

"Oh my poor baby." My Mother embraced me tighter but very gently. As I let out my last shed of tears, I was beginning to feel better now. She took me to the bathroom and cleaned me up. I was so happy to have such a wonderful Mother. Still I could not tell her fully what happened. It was not like any other child my age ever got involved in a fight. I tried to forget that the entire incident happened. I should not feel sorry. Those so-called classmates deserved everything that what was coming to them! They will not mess with me anymore! I guess it would be easy to forget how I reacted violently like that. I can cover it up with a mask.

After a few moments of cleaning and changing clothing, my Mother said to me, "Do you want to go to another school?"

I stood there puzzled. "What?"

"We can let you go to another school," she said.

"But where..." I asked.

"It's a private school your Father and I have looked into... but it is far away. You might have to board there."

I got angry and practically screamed at her. "I DO NOT WANT TO LEAVE HOME!" I calmed down as I saw the shock look in my Mother's face. I realized that I was acting rather unruly. I looked down and said, "I am sorry for yelling at you, Mother."

My Mother just smiled and said. "It's okay, dear. Tell you what… There is also another school right here in Odaiba... It is a great school for you to excel, but I am not sure if you would like it either."

"Why not? It's close to home."

"Some of the children are really... There are some lines drawn... Well, they are like me for example."

"What's wrong about you?" I asked confused. I, for the first time that day, looked at my mother closely. Her hair seemed to be getting darker. Not only that, her eyes were strangely darker too…

~~~~~~~

3 days later…

It took a few days for me to make my decision. I felt so happy they let me decide. I no longer remembered what happened that caused me to make this decision. I did not care. I was transferring to a different school! New faces! Maybe some friends. But there was one thing I needed to change. Something my Mother told me.

"Mother, Father, I have made my decision."

~~~~~~~

A child...

Ninth birthday...

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY!" my friends and parents say.

"Look at the birthday surprise in you room," my Father says.

I ran up to my bedroom and saw what was there. I jumped for joy and ran back to my parents and hugged them. "Oh thank you! It's really wonderful!" I say. My friends agreed as well as they took a peak at my bedroom.

After the cake and more gifts, it was late and my friends left for home. I wanted to get ready to go to bed. Just then my parents stopped me. "There is a second surprise in the next room dear," my Mother says as my parents lead me into my bedroom and into the adjoining bedroom. They opened the door. I was so excited! I had no idea what they were planning to surprise me with. They turn on the lights of the room. There stood a brand new top-of-the-line NAVtop PC that I so dreamed of having. On the side of it was my old Pineapple NAVI Laptop with new interchangeable custom shell casings.

"Happy Birthday!" both of my parents said.

I hugged them both. I was so happy. This was the happiest day of my life. Still, we had to air out my bedroom so I had to sleep in the third bedroom for the time being.

Midnight…

I awoke to some talking coming from the living room. From my temporary bedroom, I could faintly hear my Father and Mother talking.

I heard my Father ask, "Are you sure... are we encouraging... the wrong way?"

"It hasn't effect... academically at all... Top student! Still advanced... own way... all by... self," my Mother replies.

"But... hiding all that with... this act! ...honest friends... Never told them... Hides while they do pick on others that are brilliant. If they found out."

"Our child is clever... They are honest friends…" my Mother says.

"But is it wrong?" my Father asks

"No dear… will soon grow out of it…"

I smiled as I went to sleep. As I felt myself drifting off, I faintly heard my Mother say.

"We are hiding something too..."

~~~~~~~

Three months later...

It was close to midnight, as I quietly made my way from the bathroom. I did not want to wake up my parents. As I was walking past their bedroom, I noticed the lights were on. They were talking. Curiously, I peaked in the half-opened door. What I heard them talk about was something that would turn my world upside down.

"Should we tell now... That we are not... real parents… Adopted…" I heard the woman said to the man. That was all I heard…

I could not believe what they were talking about! It was then that I figured I was not really their child. These two people were not really my Father or Mother. I was adopted!

'No it can't be true.' I backed away from their door and slowly made my way back to my bedroom. All night I cried and tried to sleep. I keep pushing myself in believing that it was just a bad dream that my parents said those things. 'It did not happen!' No, it was true. My logical mind took over. All things that I never thought relevant were now falling into place. The change in my Mother's hair… Her eyes… Lack of photographs when I was a baby… Everything. As these clues fell into place, at the same time, my world fell apart. I felt so betrayed. So alone.

~~~~~~~

A child...

Ten years of age...

Since that night, my behavior was becoming erratic. I tried to concentrate on school as well. It was difficult, but I started to enjoy such pain. Things all fell apart... I thought of myself living in too separate worlds... The schizoid life I chose. The foundation... the love for my parents and the love they shown me. Now the foundation that used to be my parents… has given way.

I did not want to give up. My schoolwork was all that mattered. They only thing I could keep me going was school and... to hate these people who pretended to be my Mother and Father. Now I put up another mask. This time, the mask was about me being the wonderful child they had raised as long I could remember. Fake smiles... Happy about everything. That was all a lie. The masks that were about to break... My mask and the masks of my... parents… no… adoptive parents.

It was strange. I do not clearly remember anything that happened those 3 months. I am not sure how I snapped. I just remember myself in my computer room. What I was doing is something I cannot remember at all. I guess, for what happened next was so terrible, all my feeble mind could do was to forget it ever happened.

No knock at my door… Just the sudden careful a hands clenching on my shoulders.

That woman's voice behind me... "Honey, your spending too much time your computer you should stop and..."

In a rage I stood up knocking the leather chair down and violently shoved her back. "YOU CAN'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO! YOU ARE NOT MY REAL MOTHER!"

I remembered running from the room, down the stairs, and out of the house… I hid myself for hours… Maybe days… I just cannot remember what happened during those dreadful days. Why can't… Can't? I am starting to use contractions! WHY CAN'T I REMEMBER WHAT HAPPENED!

I think I have lost my mind.

~~~~~~~

A child...

2 weeks later…

Strange as it may seem, this was where the next journal entry begins. It was still distorted…

"Honey. Why do you think we are not your... rea... true parents..."

"I overheard you… Sixteen days ago I overheard you saying that I was actually… You adopted me as your child."

"Please forgive us, honey. We wanted to tell you when you were ready… When we were ready."

I listened to them. All I remembered was saying an apology… I do remember that I felt a deep sense of regret for behaving like such a rotten child to these two wonderful human beings who have given so much to me. I said I loved them… no matter what I am or they are…

"I love you Mother… I love you Father…" I hugged them tightly.

~~~~~~~

A child… Eleven years old…

It was ten in the morning on Christmas Day. All my gifts were put away as I helped clean up all the torn gift-wrap that littered the around. I glanced at the fireplace. There was a little lighted sculpture of the birth scene of baby Jesus. I felt one emptiness within me emerge. One thing that was still left unanswered. I felt it was the right time to find that answer. I came up to my Father sitting on the couch and uneasily said in a small voice, "Father?"

"Yes, what is it?"

I looked at my feet and then asked, "Who were my other parents? M-my b-biological parents," I stuttered. I looked up at his face, expecting to see him angry. I was surprised as he smiled at my bravery and let me sit next to him on the couch. I then found my courage and asked, "What were they like?"

Then he shook his head sadly. "We do not know much about them. All we know was that they died in a terrible car accident. The car crashed down in a ravine and caught fire. Firefighters, Police, passers-by, all helped to put out that burning wreckage." I saw that he was crying. I was crying too. He then continued, "I'm so sorry. The police could not open any records regarding your parents. The records were unavailable or missing. I don't know why. Your parents were left unidentified. As if by a miracle, all they found was you alive a few feet away from the burning wreckage."

I was startled by his words. Then what he said did not make sense. "But no records?! That is not possible! Surely there must be some record of them?" I asked.

"I'm sorry. It is a mystery even to the adoption agency." He then looked at me. A look of sadness…

"What is it, Father?"

He closed is eyes as he held me. "There is something else you should know."

Just then, my Mother walked in holding a small gift-wrapped box. She was crying also. She held it in her hands as if it was something sacred. "We were saving this for you when you reached your twelfth birthday. But we believe now that you were already mature enough to have it."

"What is it, Mother?"

She handed me the box. I examined it. It was just a small sized box wrapped in Birthday gift-wrapper. I looked at my Mother and Father in question. They said nothing. The silence in the room was practically deafening!

"Go ahead and open it, dear," my Mother finally said.

I quickly unwrapped the box and opened it. Inside was something that looked like a necklace. I took it out of the box. It was a pendant! It was silver with gold trims. It was so beautiful! It was tear-shaped. It had some scarring on it as if it was in a fire. I suddenly realized what it was and where it came from.

"This was all that what was left... There was no way to open it. The adoption agency said that the police found you with that. You held that pendant in your hands and would not let go of it."

I looked at it again. "I see…" I ran my fingers through the tear shaped pendant. I thought doing so would give me some sort of physical and somewhat nonphysical evidence of what my biological parents were.

"There is something else you should know," I heard my Mother say.

I continued running my hands on the pendant. For some odd reason I found a hidden clasp. It was hidden well from the naked eye, but I found it as if I was drawn to it. I pushed it and saw the pendant open. Inside was a photograph! A picture of my biological parents I soon realized!

"Oh my! You opened it!" my Mother said in surprise. Both my Mother and Father huddled around me to get a look at the picture.

It was a faded photograph; no doubt suffered some of the damage during the accident. It was a picture of a man and a woman. I could make out that the woman was cradling a baby in her arms. "That must be me!" I would have been satisfied with that conclusion until I noticed the man was holding another child also. "What a minute! There are two babies in this picture?"

"My God. This confirms it," my Father said in shock. I look at him in confusion.

"What confirms what, Father?" I ask.

He shook his head and looked at me. Tears streaming down his checks. "There was evidence of another child seat in the car. There were some toys that were made for boys that were present in the car. It was concluded that besides you, there was another child. Possibly a boy. They were not sure. Only that child's body was not found. Police later concluded that he was either thrown out of the car into the ravine below or was killed in the fire. They just could not find any more evidence. Most of everything was so badly burnt beyond recognition. He could not have survived either in the ravine."

My Mother then embraces me tightly. I felt my Father's arms too. My logical mind started to race as I tried to piece it all together…

I then came to the answer…

I felt their tears on me as well as my own. Then my Mother spoke in a soft voice. "You had a brother..."

~~~~~~~

2 months later…

Unmarked graves

JOURNAL VIEWING INTERRUPTED

I closed all the files down and leaned back. The NAVI logged itself off for me and shut down. It was starting to think like me. It was scary. I shook off the feeling as I leaned back on the chair and began to think. Thinking back to those days. I noticed I was crying. Tears of sadness, loneliness, or joy? I did not know for sure. All I do know is that I love my parents as much as before I knew the truth. Maybe even more. I love them so much. They gave me everything any caring loving and parent would. I just wished that I could do the same in return. Maybe to take back all of those mistakes I have made. No! Never! If I had a chance to relive those past ten or so years, I would not change a thing. Those mistakes have taught me so many things. New things I have discovered on my own. I have changed so much. Hiding behind these masks. So far the past few years, I feel a few masks slip away and forgotten. I feel so relieved, so alive, as I face the future on my own. I am always changing for the better. How much will I be different in the future? Will these masks be gone? I do not want to feel empty anymore.

I shut off the lights and close the door to the room. I look at my bedroom clock. It was 5:03 in the evening. Father will be coming home soon. I put my laptop on my study. I plop myself onto bed and think about what to pack for Summer Camp. I sigh. It was just 52 hours left to get ready. I know most of my friends will be there so I know which clothes to bring. Something practical of course. Gloves, hiking shoes, they said...

I look at the laptop on my desk. It would be strange to bring it to summer camp. What would my friends say?

'School's over!'

'No homework!'

'What good is it for now? Surfing the web?!'

Not that I would be surfing on it all day! There are puzzle programs that would keep me busy! Some interesting web pages to browse. Looking at the next school year schedule. Playing games on it? That's what they think I do with it any ways. Who cares!

I decided no. I will not bring it. I do not need it. I can let my mind do the work... I do not need a computer to solve problems! Any ways, what problems? This was just summer camp! I just want to have fun... Something that I felt cannot be taken for granted. Life is short! I am only twelve years old!

I place the pink shell laptop in my desk drawer. Good riddance!

Just one mask I can do without for once.

I stare at the pink painted walls of my room. Maybe someday... all of this. The masks would be cast out for good. Was it all worth it? My so-called friends are those that would pick on computer nerds. But, I am not like them... not like any of them. I am not a nerd nor like my so-called friends. I am who I am. I want to be my true self. My style belongs to me. Not be afraid of what people might think.

Still, I look at the past two years in disgust. I was top student but… that pathetic act I keep up... The heaviest mask I wear. 'The Pink Princess.' So happy... klutz out a bit... act like a complete air-head… give strange suggestions... shop-a-holic fashion freak... I have been called a ditz many times. Normally I would be hurt if someone called me that. It never did hurt me. Should it? How far have I buried myself in this act that I don't care anymore? What kind of fool have I become? I want to change. Is it too late? I really started to feel alone again.

My right hand wanders to where the tear-shaped pendant resting on my chest with its golden chain around my neck. I started to think on whether to leave this back home when I leave for camp. I always feared it would get lost or stolen. But, as I felt it resting on my chest, I felt compelled not to leave it behind. It was as if something was telling me to bring it. I must never leave it behind. It was all that I have of left of my real parents. No mater what happens to me, I will never ever be apart from it.

I was so deep in my thoughts that I failed to notice someone enter my room and sit at the foot of my bed. "Mimi, dear?" I heard my Mother voice not far from me.

"Yes, Mother?" I look at my Mother sitting next to my bed in question. It has been approximately nine months since she quit dying her hair to look like mine. Gone and forgotten are those contacts lenses that made her eyes light like mine are too.

She has a concerned look on her face. "Are you going to wear your pendant to summer camp?" she asks.

"Yes, Mother."

"But it is pre..."

Interrupted her with a nod and said, "Precious to me, yes. But, Mother, I feel I should take it with me. I do not know why, but I know I should not leave it behind."

"It's just summer camp. You know… all that hiking, swimming, running around…"

"I have been through tougher places before, Mother. I have always worn my pendant."

"Aren't you afraid you might lose it or have it stolen?"

"I will be careful. I'll place it aside if I go swimming or some other extraneous activities at camp. I will not let anyone touch it either."

"Okay, I just hope you don't lose it okay, dear?"

I sat up and held her hand. "Mother, I promise I will take care of it. It is just that I feel I must keep it with me. A feeling I cannot explain, but I know I must follow it."

"All right, dear. I understand." She hugged me and I hugged her back. My Mother then got up and stepped out for the moment. Later she comes in with three large pink suitcases.

I sighed. "Mother, I only need one."

"I know dear. But you never know." She puts the cases near the dresser.

I sigh again.

"Do you need help packing?" she asks.

"No. Already figured out what to bring."

"Well, here." She throws something large at me. Startled, I quickly held up my hand to catch the pink blur whatever it was. When I realized what I held in my hands, I was in shock. It was a large pink sun hat! A brand new one! Similar to the one that I outgrew two years ago. "Don't want you to get sunburn."

"Ack, Mother!" I cry holding the pink hat as if it was a dead rat. "This thing?"

My mother playfully grabbed me, still clenching the hat, over to my dresser mirror. "Try it on."

I sigh in defeat. "Oh, all right." I put on the cursed hat and looked at my dresser mirror. I could not believe it. Strange as it seemed, it looked great on me. I cannot believe I missed the old hat. It might just go well with my red dress. I shake my head. I cannot believe that I am acting like this! A ditzy fashion freak! Then it hits me. Maybe it IS I. I am not just a computer freak hiding behind a fake mask of popularity and fashion. Perhaps there is no mask. Maybe I am both. A computer freak and a fashion freak? Maybe I am more… Of course the ditzy part I am not! I shake my head again. Oh well, my style will only be my style. I finally noticed a bright cheery smile present on my face. A pure and sincere smile I have not felt in a long time.

"There's our Little Princess," my Mother says. She kisses me on the cheek and quietly leaves. She turns around and whispers, "Dinner's almost ready, dear. You're Father will be home any minute. Be a little quiet on the way down."

"I will, Mother."

As my mother left, I look at the tear shaped pendant again. I felt for the hidden clasp and opened the pendant. Inside was the same worn faded color photograph of a young family. A man and a woman in the picture. Both of them carried one child in their arms. The husband, the wife, and their twin babies. The woman... my Mother. Long light colored hair. Almost like mine. She almost looks like me. I look like her. Still there was one striking difference. Her eyes. Eyes so dark... unlike mine. Endless depths of darkness.

The man... my Father. My Father's picture was damaged a bit. His features were worn and distorted. I cannot make out the face as well. Just a silhouette indicated that he was taller than my Mother was. He had dark slightly long spiky hair. Everything else was worn from the fire damage. The only thing I could see clearly of my Father's face was his eyes. Eyes exactly like mine. The same color! Only his name I remember now. Genma.

Before I leave for summer camp, I intend to research deeper. I would break into the Department of Health or the FBI files if I had to. I want to know who they were. What they were like.

I stare at the babies they are holding... Twins... One of them is I. The other... my brother.

I walked out of my bedroom and walked down the hall. Passing the door of the computer room and then stopped in front of another door. This was the main door to the third bedroom. Here my baby brother was sleeping. I quietly walked through the opened door to his cradle. He looked so cute! I kiss his cute little forehead. He was a true biological descendent of the Tachikawas. He was definitely a miracle to my Mother and Father. He is child blessed to be born to such wonderful parents. I feel blessed as well for I am a part of our family.

To be continued...