Digimon Fan Fiction ❯ Romanced ❯ Fourteen ( Chapter 14 )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

Disclaimer: I don't own Digimon. I don't want to. There are too many wannabes. I fear of competition.This is yaoi (boyxboy), Taito, Kensuke (sort of), Yamaken and Taisuke.

Romanced by Wormmonsoul

part 2 Christmas
chapter 14

(Flashback. Yamato's POV)
It was an agreement for Ken's song to be played in the end. Time was wearing out. Yamato didn't expect flutters in his stomach and he felt helpless standing in spotlights before the dark sea of faces. Annoying thoughts increased his discomfort. *Maybe the show business is not for me after all.* He gave a smile to the audience, inwardly counting the long minutes.
Three songs left. *I wish some evil Digimon sprang up here now.*
Two. *Yeah, why isn't there any short circuit?*
One. *Why doesn't everybody just go away?!*
Now. He checked on his band mates and readjusted his guitar. Why was he so nervous? He wanted only...
"We're going to play a song you have never heard before. It is my new song for a special person."
The accent on 'special' made Yamato stupidly realise it sounded like 'a girlfriend' and he called himself a couple of names. At least, the Chosen children would get the hint. Cheers rose from the back.
"For YOU to hear it."
Because of the spotlights there was nothing to see in the dark hall, moving shapes and occasional unfamiliar faces assured him he hadn't gone blind yet. Ken must be out there. Yamato closed his eyes.
*I want Ken to understand what I sing in my song, that is all.
*Every song has a message. Some messages are love letters, some are riots, some are lullabies. My message is my offer for support. He may not ask for it, but he must know that there are friends for him out there.
*I've seen him through his grief, I've seen him struggling in the waves of the Sea of Darkness and I've seen him drowning and resurfacing.. I knew what he was like in a diabolic rage and I knew him as the sweetest of angels. I fought back to back with him against evil monsters and he fought with head held up high although only darkness met his eye.
*I may not have glimpsed of him as much as Daisuke may have, but still he amazes me with infinite layers to his personality. I honestly believe he is gorgeous. He has a beautiful soul.
*If my song has a message, I want it to be an ode to his virtues.
*I want to tell him how much all of us love him.
*Because I feel for him a complete and unconditional love.*
Yamato took a deep breath and smiled to the mental image of Ken.
*For you... And for the end of your worries.*
He took the first note of the song.

When you think that you are lost
Beaten, sore or worn dead out
When you don't feel it is worth
Sharing blank and complex crowd

After two lines everybody fell quiet. It was easier for him to concentrate. *Good.*

Do you doubt what's black or white
Are you tortured by good and bad
Is your colour of violet eyes
The colour of thoughts in your head?

His face coloured at the lyrics he was about to sing and wondered how the Chosen children reacted to his song. His eyes opened to the dark pitch below. Blood rushed into his face at the end of the refrain.
He saw Ken. The boy was right in front of the scene and as Yamato stared down his eyes he let the fear overwhelm him - the fear that someone might find out who he was singing about. He panicked. Ken frantically looked around trying to get away from the crowd but there was no way out.
It caused Yamato to smile inwardly. *Ken... He's scared too. But there is nothing to be scared of.*
Yamato inspected the hall. The audience seemed enchanted. He took a deep breath for the next part.
*Trust me, Ken. I'm singing this song only to help you ... because you're a better person that you think you are. Because I want you to know it, Ken.. Trust is hard but still... if you smile it will be better. You might find me a fool... But I'm a loving fool...*
A faint smile tugged on his lips as the song carried him on.

You have shadow over your face
Lie like black night over your heart
But your kindness and your grace
Will remain your loyal part
Time to learn what's right what's wrong
Please believe the strength in you
Only one but not alone
If our eyes are colour blue

Ken bit his lip and stared into his eyes. At first it was close to denial but then a glowing emotion spilled from his eyes, almost like love, and he smiled. The knowledge that Ken had understood the message and accepted it filled Yamato with warm joy.
*You're wonderful, Ken.* Yamato smiled back fondly. He kept his eyes on the flushed boy.
Ken whispered his name.
Yamato, who saw it, tightened his grip around the microphone.
*Ken...*
Disturbed by the way that name sprang up in his mind, and by the tenderness that name brought, Yamato tried to explain it. They might be bound by understanding and friendship. But no one said that understanding was love. It was a way for love but one could choose not to go.
Or couldn't?

(Yamato's POV)
The last accords were played and that was the end to his gig. Yamato shook the vision of Ken from his head and removed himself hastily from the scene under the rapturous shouts from his fans. His band mates hi-fived him and gave enthusiastic comments on his work. Yamato disentangled himself from their welcoming hugs. In a daze he felt his way to the dressing room and collapsed on the couch. The world was whirling around and he pressed his palms to his forehead willing it to stop. The gig was over... Now his adrenaline would jump up several degrees and he would be running on the rooftops insane. He needed his friends. A thought about Taichi was like a good massage - his muscles relaxed, but his easiness lasted exactly a second.
They were not friends anymore...
The blonde kicked the pillow in frustration.
"Goddammit, he asked me for a date!" he moaned aloud. "We were supposed to be making out this Christmas Eve like crazy!" Yamato stared at the door. "Where is he?" He rolled on his stomach and sank his face into the pillow.
*But I don't want him to kiss me anymore... I don't want him in that way.*
It was disturbing because it implied that he didn't love Taichi. Yamato was confused. He didn't enjoy the choice made between his friend (or rather his lover) and Sora. He hated being pressed. But the time was crucial.
*I do love Taichi,* he protested, *but by god I don't want him as a lover. Our love is far deeper than that of friends - we share one soul and one breath, and possibly can't exist without each other. We are the best friends and the worst enemies. I can't live without him.
*But I don't want him in my bed exactly because I love him. Sometimes we mistake spiritual love for carnal strive for sex... I don't want to make that mistake.. I don't want to ruin our fragile relationship. I don't want to have any regrets.
*No matter how hard my decision is for him and for me, I will have to break with him.
*I don't love him in a sexual way. Somebody else will warm my bed.*
Yamato sat up and stared at his hands. He thought of Taichi's face when he would say those things to him. It would hurt him so much... But determination was greater than fear.
*I'm sorry, Taichi, I love you. That's why, good bye.*
The blonde boy held his stare on the door.
*There are so many people that require our love out there...*
The blue eyes sadly regarded the walls. The regular banging and knocking noise in the hall indicated that the Teenage Wolves were packing up and loading everything into the van.
"Come out, Yamato, wherever you are! We're off to celebrate!" a cheerful voice shouted at the door.
Yamato wisely remained silent. He stayed inside, waiting for his friends... But in spite of his hopes nobody came. The quiet of his room, so peaceful at first, began to annoy him. He waited some more, and then grabbed his jacket, believing that his bandmates would take care of formalities and everything for once, and walked outside into the dark street.
He found himself on a porch swept by snow. It was cold and the sky loomed over heavy with snow clouds as if a fluffy blanket was thrown over the city.
Two shadowy figures stepped out to Yamato from the dark.
"Great work, Yamato!" his little brother said cheerfully and clapped him on the back.
"Yes, your song was... amazing. It fits Ken very well," Hikari said with a smile.
"Thanks."
*Didn't I just blush?!*
"Uhm, where is everyone? Where's Taichi?" Yamato asked in a lost voice, seeing that Takeru and Hikari were alone. Hikari faltered. "Umm.. he was... He went away with Daisuke right after the gig was over... And the others had some pressing business..."
Yamato frowned.
"Shall we see you home?" suggested Takeru. "Iori's grandfather is waiting for us in the car. We're going to the temple, but we can drop you home on the way."
"No, thanks.." Yamato declined. *Looks like I'm having my Christmas party all by myself,* he thought.
"Well, then, Merry Christmas!" Takeru said. "And don't think too much, it hurts!"
"Very Daisuke-like to say that," Hikari chuckled. They went away, leaving the guessing blonde on the porch.
*Where Taichi could be? He forgot our date? Or is he too afraid to talk to me? That's certainly not like Taichi. After all, he had the guts to kiss me at that party.
*Where is Sora? She always has a cup of coffee with me after the gigs.. What's wrong with anyone?
*At least, I would have liked to hear Ken's opinion of the song. It's not like I care about him but still... I care. Time to take off your pink glasses, Ishida, you want Ken to come more than anyone else... Hmm, I wonder... Is it normal to have 50 odds per cent of thoughts about Ken for me?*
Yamato snorted.
*I can always say that Ken means nothing to me. First, he's not exactly my close friend. Second, I hardly know him and I don't want to know him. Third, he's not my type. But... he needs someone to take care of him because he's just a little boy.*
Yamato noticed somebody walking along the wall. And this somebody had difficulty with going in a straight line. As the light fell on his face, Yamato realised with a start that it was Ken.
*Oh shit.*
"Hey!"
Ken stopped his thorough inspection of the freezing ground and raised his face. And smiled.
"What are you doing here?" Yamato asked.
"I was going home."
"You were going in the exactly opposite direction."
Ken swayed a little, shrugged his shoulders and looked miserable.
"Sorry."
Yamato came up to him and wrapped a friendly arm over his hunched shoulders. He steadied the lost boy. Two wary eyes looked up at Yamato.
"What did they make you drink?"
"Beer," Ken answered sleepily.
Yamato shook in laughter. "You can't go home like this," he said, "Imagine your parents' faces. They'll kill you or lock you up, you know."
"I'm okay. And my parents are away."
Ken put his heavy head on Yamato's shoulder to stop it from falling off. His heavy eyelids closed lulled by warmth and friendliness.
"Ken! You don't have to sleep on me," Yamato said, trying to take it lightly that Ken was leaning into his arms more and more. "Ken!" he whispered as he bent his head to his shoulder where the boy's head rested. Ken opened his startled eyes. The position was compromising enough to seem like a near kiss and the boys started to part in embarrassment. But not fast enough, as Yamato's band mates burst into the street and spotted them. And Yamato's band mates had ideas.
"Yamato, do you have a date?" they shouted excited.
"It's a friend!" Yamato returned.
"Gosh, a beautiful friend you have, Yamato," one teased.
"Yeah.. Dark hair, violet eyes.. Damn the light but his eyes are certainly violet.. Damn me!" another joined in and was cut off by a fit of laughter.
"Tell us your little secret, Yamato, who's that happy one you were singing about?"
"It's a boy!!" whistled another one.
"It's a pretty pretty boy!"
"Oh, shut up," Yamato said tiredly.
"Whatever. Merry Christmas, Yamato!"
"By the way... HANDLE HIM CAREFULLY!" They were laughing as they walked off.
Ken was burning with shame. Yamato pressed him closer, afraid that the sensitive boy would run away, crying.
"Don't mind them. They just like to show off," he said to Ken. "Come, I'll get you home."
Yamato bit his tongue. It was the last thing he wanted to do now but he had no choice: he couldn't leave him over this side of Tokyo Bay at night and in an alcohol daze.
"Thank you," Ken nodded.
Yamato guided Ken with a hand across his shoulders to the station several streets away. Ken submitted to his care. In his opinion, Yamato deserved another Crest of Kindness because he didn't have to see him home and he did. But wow, miraculously they were walking along the busy streets, two merged shadows on the ground, and people were wondering about them.
*Down on your knees,* Ken thought bitterly. *Odaiba Rock Star and Digimon Kaiser are walking in the moonlight...*
His head throbbed and he drew away from the blonde boy to rub at it. Yamato's hand fell from his shoulders and crept into the pocket of the leather rock jacket. Ken sighed in regret. The blonde was whistling something, absent in his own world.
"Ken, do you believe in Christmas?" Yamato said suddenly.
The dark-haired boy sent him a curious look. "Why?" he asked defensively.
"Wishes come true on Christmas.." the blonde stretched his hand before his chest and caught a snowflake. "If it has seven rays, my wish will come true," he said and inspected the snowflake until it melted on his palm.
Ken interestedly watched the glimmering spots whirl around his head. "And?" he asked. "Did it have seven rays?"
Yamato smiled and said nothing.
"What did you wish for?" the boy asked inaudibly and Yamato didn't seem to hear him. He caught another snowflake and showed it to Ken.
"Your turn," he said. The genius boy looked at the snowflake melting away into a small drop of water. He didn't count the rays.
*True love…*
The blonde hid his hand into his pocket again. "Stupid game anyway," he commented.
*I'm not sure I want this dream to come true...*
Yamato tugged on his sleeve and Ken followed him across the road. He thought that Yamato's song meant more than friendship to him... It was like a Jogress, when the two shared one soul and one heartbeat. Ken dreaded and welcomed it. Osamu, Wormmon, Daisuke and now Yamato tapped into his soul -
Is your colour of violet eyes
The colour of thoughts in your head?
*He has no right to know about me, about my thoughs, about -
*Mon peche... mon obsession...Desir fou qui me tourmente...Qui me tourne en deraison...Qui me deshire et me hante...
*Why do I keep wishing him to touch my heart then?
*Because he was tender once...*
Snowflakes started falling harder.

end of part two

a/n
Next - Christmas night ?_? and Taisuke, Yamaken. I'm afraid there would be lemons. *winces at knowing glances* I told you Yamaken is my favourite!!
Translation from French: my sin... my obsession... desire that tortures me... that brings me to recklessness ... that tears and haunts me (I suppose you knew the translation already -_-;;;; It's easy!)

tsuzuku...