Digimon Fan Fiction ❯ Secrets ❯ Chapter 9 ( Chapter 9 )

Chapter 9

The telephone's ring broke through the silence of the small flat, its incessant ringing slicing the comfortable silence and jarring any enlightening thoughts out of a head covered by short black hair. The telephone continued to ring as its owner tried ignored it but to no avail.

There was a sigh followed by the sound of fabric rustling, sock covered feet padded towards the small wooden stand the telephone was placed on, the sound of fabric sweeping across the floor could be heard in time with the footsteps. Long, slim fingers stretched out and took hold of the telephone handle, pulling it away from the cradle and placing it near an ear with many different piercing.

"Hello?"

"Ni-hao! It's me, Wallace," Full plum painted lips turned up into a smile, though the smile was hidden through the slight annoyance in the alto voice.

"Wallace, do you have any idea what time it is?" Brown eyes looked out the window at the darkened skyline of downtown Tokyo.

"Yeah, but I haven't got any time to call you tonight and this is really, really important!" Perfectly formed eyebrows knitted together in a frown. Wallace sounded worried and upset. This disturbed her.

"What's wrong?"

"I need you to do me a favor; it's time to do some enlightening," Round brown eyes widened slightly in surprised.

"Come again?"

"It's really important. Trust me. I just don't know what else to do."

"You better explain yourself, Wallace."

***

Mune ga itakute itakute

Kowaresou dakara

Kanawanu omoi nara semete karetai!*

***

Ken walked slowly up the last few steps to his apartment mainly because he had to struggle to raise one foot after another. His legs felt as if they had been hollowed out and then filled with lead lined cement. It was so difficult to move, his whole body protested it but he continued on. The deep concentration he had to use to get his body to obey him helped him forget his misery for a while.

He raised his hand and entered his house key into the keyhole, turning it and pushing the door open. He walked inside-letting the door shut behind him and not bothering to lock the door-slipped off his shoes and continued towards the living room. There he found himself staring into silted red eyes framed by oval silver glasses.

"Ken, you look like shit warmed over." Ken attempted a glare but gave up after a second, too tired to even try.

"Junta please tell me something I don't know."

Junta stared at him for a long moment, running his fingers, each with its own uniquely designed silver ring, through his blue-violet hair. He shrugged and looked back down at the scattered papers and the books surrounding him, sometimes turning his head to glance at the laptop next to him and other times jotting down notes onto the notebook that sat on his lap. He could tell Ken was in no mood for chatting and found no need to bother the man. He knew that Ken would tell him what was wrong when he was good and ready. And that was fine with Junta.

Ken arched an eyebrow at the state of mess that his living room was in; knowing the man was probably doing another paper for some class or another. He realized that any other time he would be growling at Junta to make sure to leave the living room spotless after he was done, but at that exact moment he didn't care if the apartment was never clean again.

A long sigh escaped his pink lips. Kami-sama, I hate being miserable.

Ken wandered passed his roommate, and his mess, towards the bedrooms, working mostly on auto-pilot now since his mind began to wander once more to what had him in such a miserable state.

Love's betrayal.

Being in love at that one moment seemed like the worst thing that could ever happen to Ken and he laughed bitterly remembering how wonderful he thought it was a few days before. Yet he couldn't help but admit that those few days-weeks-had been wonderful. But were they really worth the heartache now? Ken didn't think he was intelligent enough to answer that.

All he knew was that he was in love and not loved back and that hurt him so deeply he felt as if he were about to wilt like a flower that had not been given a drink in days. Not that he would've been surprised if that actually had happened. Daisuke ending the relationship felt him feeling as if he had been cut off from that life giving water, which wasn't to far form the truth in Ken's opinion.

I feel so empty.

The break up had been harsh, the knowledge that he was nothing more then a bed warmer to Daisuke had hurt worse then anything else. He had been so sure that Daisuke felt something for him, maybe not love, but at least something. Reality hurt. How true that saying was.

Daisuke didn't love him. Daisuke didn't even respect him!

It made Ken angry but the anger quickly subsided and he was left feeling miserable again. Wallowing miserably in emotions that he had not felt since childhood. He felt used, stupid, dirty, unloved, alone, and angry. Angry at Daisuke, but more with himself for believing that he could ever hope to be anything more to the redhead.

I thought that at least he respected me. Ken thought raising his hand and shoving the door to his bedroom open. How could he just use me like that? He knew how I felt. It's not like I hid it. He knew how much I cared and he used those feelings against me. He used me then threw me away when I had become to clingy.

That knowledge hurt worst of all. Of all the things he may have been able to deal with-being the first person Daisuke had ever broken up with, his love for the redhead not being returned-that one piece of knowledge, to know that he had been used by someone he trusted so much was like he had internal bleeding. He was dying from the inside and he had no idea how long he'd last.

Least I got my wish. Dying by Daisuke's hand.

He sighed again, feeling as if he were to once more burst into tears. But he controlled himself and walked towards his closet, pulling out a dufflebag and then a few articles of clothing.

He had decided-or better yet, was force to decide-to stay with Takeru for a few days. Just so that he wouldn't have to be alone in his pain. He had not wanted to but knew that Takeru would not take no for an answer even though the blond knew that Ken would rather be alone. However Ken understood why Takeru had insisted, he was afraid that Ken would do something to someone or to himself. And Takeru was probably right, he had never really been able to deal with heartache that intense very well. Already he felt the great desire to just forget and fall into eternal darkness and peace, far away from all that had hurt him. He wanted to forget, like had forgotten all those years ago.

Ken couldn't do that and he knew it. That peace came with a price he was not willing to pay for a second time. This time he would endure and maybe with Takeru around he would be able to.

It only took him a few minutes to shove some shirts and pants into the bag; he was not really paying attention to what he was doing. He was only dimly aware that his pants and shirts would end up with a large amount of wrinkles and he also made sure that his underwear and shoes stayed as far away from each other as possible. Finally after a quick trip to the bathroom, to collect a few more items, he was ready and walked back into the living room.

"Junta, I'm going to be stay with Takeru for a while okay?" Ken spoke softly, trying to keep his voice neutral. He wished he could do the same with his emotions-neutralize them so that he would feel no more pain and suffering because of Daisuke's betrayal. Maybe then his slow death wouldn't be so painful.

Junta didn't look up form the packet of sheets he held in his hands but nodded, waved goodbye and wished Ken luck with whatever it was that was bothering him. Ken smiled, but he knew that no matter how he tried it would look nothing more then grim and he was happy that Junta wasn't really looking at him. He then turned and walked towards the door. While getting ready to slip on his shoes, he was called back.

"Ken! Ken!" He turned to watch Junta running towards him, holding a few sheets of paper in his hands.

"What is it?" Ken was slightly puzzled at what would make Junta so excited.

"I made this copy of an old article for a paper for my class," Junta began staring at Ken with surprise evident in his eyes. His contact lenses always made him seem like he wasn't being completely honest yet Ken could tell that there would nothing but honesty from Junta, contact lens or no. Ken had always found it amusing how Junta would wear contact lenses and then those prescription-less silver glasses. But the man was right; it did make it seem like the contacts were more real that way.

"Junta, get to the point," Ken sighed out. He was in no mood for Junta's long winded explanations and so cut him off before he started.

Junta glared at him. "Well, as I was getting ready to cite it I noticed this pic down here." He pointed to a somewhat blurred black and white picture. "I was looking at it and couldn't believe what I saw! I want you to tell me if I'm right. Is that Motomiya-kun in that cop's arms?"

Ken blinked then snatched the paper from Junta's hand, holding it close to his face as examined it. The picture being a little blurry made it hard to identify what was going on, but once he began to really focus he could make it out every well. First person he recognized was Daisuke's father-Motomiya Kiyoyuki. The face was much younger but Ken could recognize it anywhere. Then he looked down at the boy in the man's arms, his eyes widening in instant recognition.

"Daisuke…?" Ken breathed out.

"Then I was right. Shit that's not cool." Junta rubbed the bridge of his nose and avoided Ken's eyes. Ken looked back down at the picture. "Did you know? Did Motomiya-kun tell you 'bout this?"

"No…" Ken whispered. He wasn't sure why he was whispering though. "What's this-"

"I think Motomiya-kun should tell you," Junta interrupted taking the paper out of Ken's hands.

"But-"

Junta stared at him for a long moment. "Look really I think it would be a lot better coming from him. Crap, shouldn't of asked you anything, now your giving me that 'tell me or I'll bug the shit out of you' look. Okay, I'll tell you this and just this, I got the article and picture for my Criminal Justice class. The papers suppose to be about pedophiles."

***

"Ne, we're free right?" A little redheaded boy nodded at the question.

"That's what they keep sayin'." Two pairs of brown eyes stared at the small blond boy sitting on a chair, his scarped knees pressed against his thin chest. "Think it's true?"

"I-I think it could be." The only female spoke, brown eyes moving from the blond to the redhead. "I saw Fujiwara-sama, he had handcuffs on and he was real angry looking."

"I'm scared. I don't know what's gonna happen now. You think it's true, the free thing?"

There was a small silence where none of the three children said a word; not that it was any different for the redhead. He hadn't said anything at all to begin with.

"Do you know what it means?"

The redhead looked up at the blond, eyebrows arching as he asked silently for an explanation of what he meant.

"Free. I keep hearing it, but I don't know what it means." The little girl's eyebrows knitted together and she bit her thumbnail, trying hard to think of an answer.

"Think it's a good thing, like when they give you real nice warm food. Like when you do good and they give you lots of good food but don't touch you or nothing. Or like after you make one of 'em real happy and Fujiwara-sama says you don't gotta go up for a few days."

The little blond boy smiled, crystal blue eyes shinning with happiness at the girl's words. "I like it when Fujiwara-sama is happy. I like being free if it's like that. What do ya think they'll give us?"

The two began to chat happily for a few moments then they turned to the redhead asking him to voice his thoughts. He turned his head and looked at them.

"Fujiwara-sama will never let us be free…" he spoke softly but his voice was hard and set in its decisions. "Remember we're not suppose to be happy. We don't deserve freedom."

The other two looked down, the little blond resting his cheek on his bent knee and sighed softly. While the little girl looked down, playing with a strand of her long dark hair, everyone loved her hair though she couldn't stand it and wished she could cut it off.

"How long 'til-"

"Shhh night comes."

"Yeah, they don't like it when we talk too much."

***

The clicking of her heels died out the minute she stopped; now she stood in front of a brown door in total silence. She stared at the gold plated number nailed to the door for a long time, wondering if this was really a smart idea. She wanted to help. She'd been wanting to find a way to help for a long time but never could find the exact way. And now she had a way, Wallace had told her how, but it felt so wrong. So intrusive. Wasn't there another way?

She sighed, how long was she planning on waiting? How many years had passed while she waited, trying her best to find the perfect way of helping while doing small things that made the situation better but did not correct it? She wanted to help and make things begin their long awaited movements. But again she wondered if this was the correct way? If this would not just make the situation worse.

What else could she do?

What to say? How to begin? Could she really do this? She wished Wallace could have done this. He had changed so much over the years-both of them had. Wallace and herself had grown and changed and learned so many things, seen so many things, done so many things. They had grown and matured and become what they had never expected to become. Yet, still it all remained the same even for them…for him.

She had to do it. She had promised. She'd do it for him. For all of them. It was time to move on if it were possible. She wanted to do it. Wanted to help in any way she could. Maybe then peace could finally be achieved and the old ghost could finally be put to rest. For all of them she would break the silence and begin the movements.

Raising her hand she knocked.

***

Ken had just put the telephone down when there came a knock at the door. He had been debating whether or not to call Daisuke. He wanted to ask him about the picture that Junta had showed him but he also couldn't bring himself to talk to Daisuke yet. It still hurt and he was still angry. Now he was torn between his curiosity and worry over what that picture, and what Junta had said meant, and his anger and hurt over his betrayal.

He wished he had never started it. It was the worst mistake he had ever made. Now he had no idea whether he would continue to be Daisuke's friend or not. Could he really after he found out what he really meant to the redhead? Could he really learn to hate Motomiya Daisuke? Even now Ken worried about him, even after he had broken Ken's heart he still worried about Daisuke.

There came another knock at the door and Ken stood to answer it. Had Takeru forgotten his keys? No he remembered hearing the blond lock the door when he had left for work. He had almost not gone. But Ken had convinced him to leave, he had not gone the day before preparing a place for Ken to stay while the raven haired man had been picking up some clothes from his own apartment. Ken didn't want to be too much of a burden for Takeru even if it had been the blond who insisted that Ken stay for a while.

Ken reached the door and opened it as far as the chain would allow, peeking out at the person who had knocked.

"Yes?" Ken asked.

"Takaishi Takeru?" She asked, her voice soft and melodious. It was a calm and soothing voice. A voice that could make Ken fall into a deep peaceful sleep if he listened to it long enough.

"No, he's not here," Ken answered wondering whom this woman was.

The woman made a small sound as if thinking of what to do next. "Um, could you tell him that a friend of Wallace's came to speak with him."

Ken blinked telling her to hold on for a second and quickly closing the door, removing the small chain that kept the door from opening completely and reopening it again.

"You know Wallace?" She nodded.

"We have known each other since childhood."

Ken took in the woman for a moment. Short black hair done in a sort of bowl cut yet her bangs were long and curled slightly near her full breast. She also had large vivid brown eyes-brown eyes that reminded him greatly of Daisuke's only these were a lighter shade then the redhead's. Yet both were still guarded and cautious, hidden emotions could be seen just behind the guards but not enough to be distinguished. She was tall, but maybe that was only because of her heels, and she was shapely. Her long silken garments showing off the shapely curves of her body. She almost seemed to have come out of an old Chinese fable.

"Maybe I can help," Ken said. "I'm a friend of Takeru's and I have meet Wallace on one or two occasions. My name is Ichijouji Ken."

She looked at him for a moment. "If you really are Ichijouji-san then I have no reason to speak with Takaishi-san any longer. I've already found you."

Ken blinked at her, quite confused at what she meant. She smiled a bit aware of his confusion.

"This is going to take some time," she said. "May I come in?"

He nodded and stepped aside, allowing her to walk in. Closing and locking the door, he lead the strange woman deeper into the apartment. He then motioned for her to sit and went to get some tea.

She sat, graciously thanking him and waited for him to return, looking around at the semi-neat apartment while trying to calm her nerves. There was no turning back now and she was somewhat happy about that, now at least she couldn't chicken out and run away. Now she had to speak with Ichijouji Ken.

What a beautiful man he is. She thought, smiling slightly. And gracious too. But there's no surprise there. Anything less and I would have been surprised.

Ken returned after a few minutes, a tray in hand and served them both tea before sitting down across from the woman.

"So what did you want to speak with me about?" He asked, looking a slight bit uncomfortable. She could tell just by looking at him that he was not going through the best of times and she knew why. She also knew that what she was about to do was not going to make him feel any better.

"First, I wish to tell you my name. It would be rude of me not to." He nodded for her to continue. "I am Jing Long-Yin and I am not only a friend of Wallace but of Shun's also."

Ken blinked. "Shun?"

A long sigh escaped Long-Yin's plum painted lips. "I am sorry, I always forget that he changed his name after we were separated." She looked thoughtful for a second-as if trying to remember something-then smiled. "Motomiya Daisuke was the name Shun took on after we were all taken from Fujiwara Yasunori."

Ken stared at the woman in shock; he had no idea what to say. Daisuke wasn't really Daisuke? He had lived with people that were not the Motomiyas? So many questions were forming in his head and he had no idea where to start asking. Though he had a feeling Long-Yin would be answering them all for him even without being asked.

"You must understand that this is very difficult for me," she said, looking away for a moment. "I am going to tell you things that you have no business hearing form me. But as Wallace said this is the only way to move on and I believe him. Shun, Wallace, and myself change but do not move and maybe with the uncovering of the truth we can finally begin to move on. Even if by telling you this it does not directly affect us, but we have moved more then Shun has…" She trailed off looking down at her folded hands.

"I don't understand," Ken said, finally able to find his voice. "What is it that you are going to tell me?"

Long-Yin raised her head and looked directly into Ken's eyes. "Starting since I can remember to my ten years of age, I had been a child prostitute. Myself, Wallace, and Shun who were at least eight when the brothel was finally shut down by the police and Motomiya-san."

***

Ken's eyes widened at the woman's words, his mind was swimming and he felt as if he were about to faint. He could not have heard right. There was just no way he had heard right. It just could not be true. His hands moved to grip the arms of the chair he was currently sitting in. Everything in his life had finally come crashing down. It had all turned upside down. Once he knew everything and now he knew nothing. So these were the secrets locked away in the inner recesses of Daisuke's soul.

"I know this is difficult for you," Long-Yin continued, "And I honestly do wish it was Shun telling you all this instead of a complete stranger, but this is the only way Wallace could think of to fix this problem.

"We've known for quite some time what has been going on between you and Shun though we didn't expect it to end the way it had. Understand please that he is quite upset over hurting you, you are so very important to him. You and Takaishi-san. But he does not know how to really treat intimacy, he dances around an understanding that he can not even reach, if that makes any sense."

Ken shook his head. He wasn't sure if it was a form a denial or a way to clear his head. It was probably a little of both.

"But the Motomiyas care about him so much," Ken spoke, his voice hoarse like if he had been yelling for hours. "They've shown him so much love. How can he not know!"

Long-Yin shook her head. She knew this was not going to be easy. But she had to try. For all their sakes, especially Daisuke's.

Shun, you may not appreciate this now but later you will. I know it.

"That's different," Long-Yin explained, her voice always staying calm and mellow. "And it took a very long time to accomplish. Yet still Shun is weary of them deep down inside, no matter how grateful he is to them for helping him so much, and no matter how much they have accomplished he is still not out of the darkness, the darkness that he was thrown into by Fujiwara Yasunori so many years ago. It was the only life we knew and the only teachings we had since we can remember. It is all so hard to forget and even now there are things we will never let go of.

"Shun has let go of very little. I believe deep down inside he still expect Fujiwara Yasunori to come and take us back. But it is understandable, Shun was the one in most contact with Fujiwara. I once remember hearing that when he had come to our doorstep, the master had immediately taken him for his own. He trained him, we all knew that, and he was the only one that was saved for anyone."

"Saved…?" Ken echoed feeling incredibly sick. He wasn't sure what he was going to end up doing-be it fainting, screaming or throwing up. All he knew was that he need to take long intakes of breaths and stay as still as possible.

Long-Yin took a deep breath and got ready to continue her explanation.

***

Back then we were all available to the ones that could afford us. Of course, the prettier ones always become more popular and with more popularity came a higher rental price. But that is normal when conducting any business. There were few of us that were considered as such to be sold at a high price. And any that were tended to spend most of their time away from the other children, not to the point that we never saw the others. It was just we had slightly better accommodations so that they could continue to sell us at high prices.

Wallace and I were one of the so-called lucky ones to be considered expensive. That was how we meet. I remember it distinctly; it had been after a session with a more brutal client. He had come back quite miserable and nearly in tears, it had been his first real experiences with someone so cruel and so I had decided to quiet him down. Fujiwara never did like it when we cried, if the client liked it then we were expected to cry but if there was no client we were to keep quiet and not bother any of the adults.

Well anyway, a little bit after I meet Wallace we became friends with Shun. It was not because Shun had just been added to the expensive list; he had been on it since the beginning. Shun has always attracted people to him-his eyes, his hair and skin tone. He's always been very beautiful and Fujiwara trained him perfectly. He could respond to any situation, believe me I have seen him in action. So he was always the most expensive from what I could tell, to know for sure you'd need to find those records and who knows where they are now. All I knew at the time was that Shun was not sold to just anyone, Ayumi-san-our nanny in a sense-said so once. And after some time, he would be only used by certain people whom would pay so that he was not given to just anyone.

But when we had finally begun to speak with Shun it had been a strange and somewhat frightening experience. He was never one to talk to anyone, not like now. He had always sat quietly to the side and just watched, never participating in anything. Only Ayumi-san was really able to speak to him before, and then as time went by Wallace and I were able to spend time with him. Yet, there has never been that much of a connection between us. Not the way you have been able to accomplish with him. We still know more then you, Ichijouji-san. For now.

I remember nights when I would return and he'd just watch me sit down and begin to clean myself. He'd just watch with blank eyes and I wondered how much he really cared. It was frightening. I mean, we were all use to it. We all thought it was the only thing we would be able to do. It was normal and we learned to deal with it and not think about it. But Shun seemed conformed in a way that was almost frightening. He never dreamed like we did, yet he never said he didn't want to leave. He just said there was no where for us to go.

I think he's always believed that deep down. That belief of us not being able to fit anywhere. The way he acts around us is so different from the way we've seen him act around other people and I wonder which one of those faces is the false one. Wallace once told me that both were true, that they were just different parts of Shun.

"He, like all of us, is a living contradiction." He had said. "We are the byproducts of truths and fallacies. Their truths, their lies, our truths and our lies these are the things that have shaped us into who we are now. Hypocritical, jaded, cynical, contradictions afraid to step forward but unable to stay where we are. We move forward learning yet only really absorbing. Making a new face that will help us get through our newest uncertainty."

How right he is has always been hard to tell. Sometimes I feel as if everything he has said is a truth that is somewhere written in stone, but at other times it feels like he's wrong. Yet, with Shun I think that is the way it is. It is like no one has ever seen his real face, only masks. A mask for every occasion, but each mask holds one of his true features. So it is like a puzzle that needs to be put together.

And I believe you are that person that can put it together. You, Ichijouji Ken, who has seen so many of the different masks and I believe that at one time or another you have also had a glimpse at the real Shun. The real Motomiya Daisuke. Because out of all of us, he cares for and trusts you the most.

TBC

-Yes, I'm doing it Houshin Engi style, bring in a new character just before the story finishes. Actually the idea for Long-Yin came around chapter six (remember I mentioned a new idea back then) and I've been debating it for quite some time. Since it fit and my original ending was more of a cop out, like my best friend told me, I decided to change it and have fun with her. Trust me this is not her last appearance.

-*My heart aches, it aches, because it is so fragile

If my thoughts of you cannot come true, I'd rather wilt!

The translation to the lyrics in between those two parts of the story. They are from L'Arc~en~Ciel's song Flower, which has done cameos in this story before.

-In response to watch Clicker's review, I have considered a threesome many times. That's actually why I keep writing their interactions the way I have been writing them. Now if it will happen I have no idea. Although the story is somewhat planned, I make up most of it as I go along (oh, big surprise). So we'll both find out by the end of the story, won't we? I may end up breaking my promise without wanting too, well I'll make it up to him if it happens. ^^;

-One last thing, Culumon's image song is freaking cute! Had to say that since I'm listening to it right now.