Digimon Fan Fiction ❯ Secrets ❯ Chapter 12 ( Chapter 12 )

Chapter 12

He was there again, standing in the living room of Daisuke's apartment; eight steps away from the redhead who sat on the windowsill looking out of it, not bothered at all by the intensity of the light. He knew what he was supposed to do now. He was to call Daisuke's name and then try to walk towards him. Neither was going to work the way they were supposed to. He knew that. He also knew that he was supposed to continue running towards him with naive determination.

He wasn't going to do it. He had no reason to. He had no reason to chase after Daisuke. He and Daisuke weren't anything to each other anymore. He turned and moved towards the door, grabbing the knob when he reached it and turned it. He pulled. And then he pulled again. It wouldn't budge. It wouldn't open for him, no matter how hard he tried he could not get it open.

He frowned; he didn't want to stay there. There was no reason for him to stay. Daisuke wasn't his concern anymore. This fairy tale had been destroyed by reality. He would go back home... back to Takeru who actually cared for him. Taking a few steps back he kicked the door down and walked through. A breeze passed by him as he went through and it felt as if the whole world turned.

Ken gasped when he looked around his new surroundings…no not new. He'd been there before. He was right back where he started. He was in Daisuke's bedroom. A few steps and he would be back in the living room. Daisuke had not moved from his spot the windowsill. Frozen in time like Sleeping Beauty only he was sleepless.

Everything was as it always was.

So what now? Was he supposed to run to Daisuke? Continue playing his part in this story? He didn't want to. Didn't have to. Didn't care! He didn't care! Why did he have to get hurt because of Daisuke? Why did he have to strive to save Daisuke? Daisuke didn't want to even love him. So why bother?

It was useless…so useless.

It was wrong…so wrong…the fairy tale wasn't right. The story wasn't following the rules. He was to save and protect Daisuke but Ken was who really wanted to be saved and protected.

Nothing was as it should be yet nothing had ever changed. Daisuke didn't move but neither did he. Then suddenly everything did. Ken stared in awe as Takeru appeared next to Daisuke. The blond smiled brightly at Ken, then looked at Daisuke who had yet to acknowledge him. Takeru stretched out his hand to Daisuke, fingers gently grazing his cheek and the red head turned his head to look at Takeru for a moment before looking over at Ken and back at Takeru.

Takeru continued smiling as he walked towards Ken. He stopped in front of the raven-haired man, raising a hand to graze his cheek gently and Ken noticed that Daisuke was watching them. What Daisuke thought about it was a mystery because of the dull expression on his face. Ken turned his attention back to Takeru who continued to graze his cheek gently, his smile warm and comforting. Ken looked at him in confusion. What was going on? He didn't know nor did he understand. It was all so new and different. Nothing was right, nothing was at it should be. The complications were driving him mad.

Takeru turned his head to look at Daisuke again, the warm loving smile never leaving his face as he walked around Ken and wrapped his arms around him. Ken felt the other's body press against his, molding in perfectly, his arms loosely embracing him-how easy it would be to break away from the other's hold but how hard it would be to lose that comforting warmth-and he watched Daisuke watch them.

Daisuke looked at them for a long moment; the silence in the room was deafening. Then slowly he raised his arms from his sides and for a moment it looked like he would reach out for them. Takeru's body pressed more against Ken but in a way that made the raven haired man feel like he was being pushed forward while the blond's arms tightened around him. But Ken wasn't paying too much attention to that. He couldn't take his eyes away from Daisuke who slowly moved his arms outward as if calling for him to run to him, his brown eyes locking with Ken's and there was something desperate and terrifying about the look in his eyes that Ken could not bare to look. He turned away, clutching tightly to the arms wrapped around him. He felt the vines wrap themselves around him and Takeru holding them together painfully and he looked back at Daisuke to see him slowly folding his arms around his own body, giving himself a tight embrace.

The shadows finally began to appear dancing wildly around Daisuke who still held himself and the darkness began to slowly wrap around him as well. Ken wanted to reach out for him again but he didn't want to, he felt Takeru's arms once more holding him loosely yet feeling the vines pressing their bodies together painfully. The darkness was become overwhelming and the shadows continued their insane dancing, slowly opening their eyes-green-and exhibiting their demonic smiles as they danced closer and closer to Daisuke until they slowly engulfed him.

Still Ken could see Daisuke.

Ken was about to scream Daisuke's name but the redhead moved, shifting back to his original position by the window, staring out of it like nothing had ever happened and the shadows stilled their demonic dance and the vines around Takeru and him loosened their painful grip.

Ken stared, mind reeling, he could feel himself growing weak and as the world slowly began to blur he could hear different but familiar voice talking to him at once or one right after the other:

"Help me."

"I'll protect you."

"I want to keep you safe."

"Let me go."

"Never let me go."

"I'll hold you tightly."

"I love you."

"I love you."

"I love you."

***

Ken woke up feeling rather warm and he shifted more towards that warmth. Blue eyes slowly appearing from under dark lashes, he took in the source of the warmth. He smiled softly, raising his hand and running one finger down the contours of Takeru's face, to trace the pink slightly opened mouth.

Images of the night before rushing forth into his mind made him blush scarlet. He never thought he'd end up here in Takeru's arms. It was still strange to him, but it wasn't a bad kind of strange. It was a 'need to get use to it' kind of strange. A strange that he wouldn't mind getting use too. It was comfortable in Takeru's arms and safe too. He knew he wouldn't be hurt with the blond.

Takeru could make him feel so special. He felt he could forget and stay comfortable in the blond's arms. Never worry about being hurt or rejected.

Curling closer to the man next to him, he began to try and sort out the meaning of everything that was going on. It all seemed so fast to him. Only the day before he had been depressed over losing Daisuke and now he was with Takeru… he had let Takeru touch him so intimately. It was strange to think that he could get over such strong feelings for one person so quickly.

Takeru moved, his head moving underneath Ken's chin so that his soft breath warmed the raven-haired man's neck pleasantly. For a moment Ken thought that the blond had awakened but he showed no other signs of movement after that. Ken raised his hand and ran his long elegant fingers through Takeru mussed golden hair wondering if this was how it would end. If things could be so simply resolved, it felt like they were. But were they? It was hard to know. He wanted it so badly to be over, for the pain to recede to nothingness and it felt like it had. It felt so good to be in Takeru's arms, he felt no pain.

Tonikaku…

But, there was always a but, he just couldn't accept the fact that it was over, no matter how much he wanted too. No matter how much it felt like it was. He knew it wasn't over. That's why he couldn't accept so easily the notion-

That's why I dreamed…

-of dropping feelings so intense so quickly. It was improbable. This was just the eye before the storm. He knew it wasn't that simple. He knew it wasn't over yet. But at least he was partly there and he knew-

Dreams mean nothing…illusions of the mind. Dreams are just dreams, fairy tales.

-that one day soon he would no longer feel like he was just a spoiled child. That one day soon he wouldn't feel this guilt disappear. And one day he would feel for Takeru the same way he felt for Daisuke. That day would come and he would no longer feel as if he were using the blond man currently pressed against him in blissful sleep. He would also feel able to trust him like he had trusted Daisuke.

Takeru truly was hope.

***

"Are you sure?" Daisuke asked, twirling the telephone cord around his finger as he watched Long-Yin's graceful movements. "Why didn't you tell me before?" An arm raised high, her wrist flicked and the fan in her hand opened, then the arms lowered slowly. Her legs gracefully moving to change position and her arms moved to their designated areas. Her eyes were closed as she concentrated on a dance she could do in her sleep.

"I was making sure it was worth your time." Daisuke hummed a response as he thought about what his friend was telling him. "I know you've been thinking about doing another show. You told me you're almost ready to start the process. So when this came up, I thought it would be a good idea. Was I wrong?"

"No not wrong, Wallace," Daisuke replied. Long-Yin's made a full circle and Daisuke could just imagine the cherry blossoms flying passed her. He committed the image to memory hoping he would be able to actually put in on canvas without having to ask her to pose for him. "Just unexpected."

"So you won't do it?"

"I never said that." Daisuke was quiet for a moment making Long-Yin stop her actions to look at him questioningly. He gestured his hand in a way that said he'd explain to her in a bit what was going on.

"Then you'll do it?"

"I'd like to talk to the people in charge before I make any final decisions."

He could almost picture Wallace's pretty smile. "All right I'll tell them to give you a call."

"They can just fax me the information."

"What do you want to know?" He could faintly hear the sounds of Wallace getting something to write on. When he was ready, Daisuke told him all he needed to know. "Okay! I'll relay the message. Hopefully you'll get a reply soon."

"Mmm-hmm."

"I hope you do it, it'll be good to see you again."

Daisuke smiled softly. "Yes, it would be good. How long do you think it will take?"

"Hmm? Not long." Wallace replied. "So you better brush up on your English!"

"If it works out." Daisuke smiled, he could almost hear Wallace's pout.

Long-Yin glanced at him as she raised her leg slightly before continuing along with her movements. Daisuke watched her as he spoke with Wallace and idly wondered how exactly Long-Yin could continue doing that dance knowing exactly what it really meant. But that answer was to hypocritical to let live so he squashed it and concentrated more on his conversation with Wallace which only lasted fifteen more minutes.

He placed the phone on the receiver and turned to find Long-Yin standing in the middle of the room just watching him, all the art supplies and the couch had been moved so that she had space to do her dance. She was the most beautiful thing in the sloppy, dirty room. He smiled at her, running a hand through his messy hair and walked over to where the couch was now situated, dropping on to it.

"So what did Wallace want?" She asked after a long but comfortable silence.

"There's talk of an art show in the great metropolis that is New York." Daisuke chuckled softly at his own words and Long-Yin smiled at the redhead's little jab at Wallace. "It seems a place so greatly cultured can recognize the work of a lowly Japanese artist."

"Are you going? You did not seem too greatly excited while on the phone," Long-Yin asked, walking over to Daisuke and sitting down next to him. She lifted her legs, tucking them under her and placing her folded hands on her lap.

Daisuke shrugged. "Why get excited over something that isn't final yet. I want to make sure some things go as I want them to before accepting anything. I think I'm good enough to be able to make a few demands na?"

Long Yin laughed; it was a gentle and soft sound. "Yes, I think so too." There was a short pause. "So how long will you be planning on staying?"

Another shrug and another long silence, Long-Yin watched him carefully as he thought. She would not say anything to break the silence; she would wait for Daisuke to do so. The redhead seemed to be thinking that question through carefully and she curiously awaited the carefully crafted answer he would give her. No matter how close they were, Daisuke never gave her a straightforward and sometimes completely true answer. But she believed it was because Daisuke wasn't use to doing that and he knew that he could keep nothing from Long-Yin anyway so he didn't have to try to change himself.

"Until the end of the exhibitions I suppose," he finally answered turning his head to look at her. "and as long as Wallace can persuade me to stay." They both smiled at those last words.

"He will guilt you into staying for a year since it has been so long since you two have seen each other," Long-Yin replied a gentle smile on her face. Daisuke nodded in agreement.

There was another pause before Long-Yin decided to voice what had already passed through his mind.

"How very convenient for this opportunity to appear now." She said, her features as calm as ever. "A nice way to end everything. This little trip will close the subject forever will it not?"

Daisuke's hands gripped his pants tightly for a moment before he nodded and looked at her. She was surprised by the sadness in the man's eyes as well as overjoyed and saddened by it. How much these people meant to him was a wonderful surprise because such an attachment meant that Daisuke had opened up more then he had to anyone. Of course this excluded the Motomiyas, Wallace and herself. But they didn't truly count because they already knew the Daisuke's secrets and accepted the way those secrets had shaped his personality. But Takeru and Ken weren't part of that inner circle and for Daisuke to reach out to them the way he had meant that he had changed somewhat and for the better.

Unfortunately he will be running away from that positive influence…She thought as she watched him fiddle with his shirt in a nervous gesture. He was somewhat uncomfortable, she could tell. But I suppose that is for the best as well, Ichijouji-san and Takaishi-san do not and can not ever truly help him…only hurt him. Especially now that they know, since their ignorant belief that Shun was normal was what he treasured the most about them because it gave him the illusion of being truly normal. Another one of his secrets, but one that is very apparent.

"I suppose that it is very convenient," Daisuke mummered quietly. He chuckled softly, but it was sad. "I'll miss them." He said after some moments and it seemed those words surprised him as well. "It was nice while it lasted."

"You will not attempt to mend the ties of friendship?"

He looked at her and shook his head. "No, for the same reason you knew that it couldn't happen." She nodded at his words.

"You will always have us."

"I know and that counts as a lot."

Long-Yin nodded but she knew very well that it wasn't true. No matter how much Daisuke wanted to believe that, they weren't enough. They weren't the same as those two young men. It wasn't her place to say that though, Daisuke had to realize that himself since he would just deny it if it were told to him. She wasn't going to help him realize this, it wasn't her place nor did she really want to. She didn't exactly trust Ichijouji Ken too much; she didn't trust anyone with Daisuke's heart. It was so fragile and she was always so afraid that someone would break it. Yet she knew that the way Daisuke was now was no help either.

"Na, Long-Yin can I ask you a favor?" Daisuke asked pulling her out of her thoughts. She tilted her head indicting for him to ask.

"Can I paint you?" He asked smiling softly at her. She nodded knowing it was time to change the subject and this was Daisuke's way of telling her so.

TBC

Well it seems I'm leaving it here for now. I wonder if any thing is coming into place like it supposed to. I've been so busy with school that I seem to have forgotten everything of what I was planning to do with this fic. This is what I get for not writing things down. -_- Oh and before I forget, I want to apologize for the incredibly tardy update. I never wanted to keep you guys waiting so long! That was very rude of me and I am very sorry. I really hope I can get the next chapter out much sooner.

Anyway back to the fic, I want to know if this chapter fits. Sometimes I start making shit up that just makes this stupid thing more complicated and I forget all about them later. So I am aware that there are a bunch of plot holes that need to be filled. I planning on re-reading this and finding all the plot holes and see if I can actually fill them up as well as working on the end of this fic and worry about that climax that Ice'is Blue so kindly brought up and now has me spazzing over. ^^; I usually don't think about these things as I write so becoming aware about it makes me nervous and even more self conscious about my writing. But hell, that's probably a good thing, less mistakes na?

And finally as for what the final couple is, I still don't know. As you saw clearly with this chapter's cop out. But I thank all of you who gave me suggestions; they are always a great help to me.