Digimon Fan Fiction ❯ Secrets ❯ Chapter 1

Chapter 1

He didn't understand. No, he couldn't understand. Daisuke couldn't understand how Ishida Yamato could jump on to Garurumon. And if it were only to ride the large beast from one place to another, but into battle against MetalGreymon! He just couldn't understand why he would risk his life.

Wasn't he supposed to be friends with the Cyborg Digimon? Weren't friends not suppose to hurt each other…granted MetalGreymon had started it but he was under the control of a dark spiral, it wasn't his fault, he had no free will, he probably couldn't even think! But Ishida and the others could think. They could make their own decision and they had decided to hurt their friend instead of finding another way to turn him back to normal. And then they had the gall to say it was out of friendship.

Daisuke didn't understand. Friends weren't supposed to do that to friends. But then how would he know? He, Motomiya Daisuke, who had never had a friend. The only thing he knew about friendship were the things he saw on Television and the things his sister told him about friends.

"Don't ever trust them." She would say. "No matter how close you think they are to you. Friends should never be trusted! You never know when they'll turn on you." Granted this piece of advice could have come from some awful experience that might have turned Jun bitter and mistrusting. But Daisuke knew nothing of this. He believed his sister because she had never done anything to hurt him. Because she showed him that she cared and had come to his aid. Held him when he was scared and chased all the monsters away. She was his Oneesama. The -sama added because of the deep respect he held for her. Though she'd probably kick his ass if she ever knew he addressed her as Oneesama in his mind. She always hated that, she always thought that it meant that they weren't really close. She just didn't understand that the -sama didn't mean that he placed her on a pedestal, it expressed all his respect for her. But he wasn't going to argue with her, that was like stepping into shark infested waters with an open cut. Stupid.

Daisuke looked around at all the other Chosen Children, they were to busy trying to "save" MetalGreymon to even consider explaining this to him. Not that they would. Takeru had been constantly yelling at him to fight. The blond seemed to be constantly angry these days. Again he didn't understand, Ishida and Taichi-sempai said that it was good for Takeru and him to fight. They said it would make them better friends. It seemed Daisuke would forever be confused.

How could fighting make us better friends? Daisuke asked himself as Patamon saved Veemon.

He didn't have a chance to think about that, since Takeru had once more tackled him screaming about how he wasn't a good friend. Daisuke frowned at this. How could hurting someone make them better friends. Was Takeru expressing his need for a deeper friend by trying to beat Daisuke into a bloody pulp?

I thought we were rivals. Daisuke thought. Rivals for Hikari's heart. I thought rivals couldn't be friends. Rivals were rivals, friends were friends and lovers were lovers. That's all he understood. That's all he ever learned. That's what he tried to do to be a normal kid like Taichi-sempai. Have friends, a girl that he was in love with and a rival. That was normal and that's what he would always strive for.

But now, nothing made any sense. Fighting friends to help them. Jumping into danger for no real reason what's so ever.

He looked up at the Digimon Kaiser who sat atop MetalGreymon and wondered if he had any friends. If anyone cared for him. Was this also something he was doing to make friends?

My head hurts.

Daisuke looked over at Taichi-sempai who was talking to Ishida, both boys trying very hard to save MetalGreymon. Taichi-sempai looked so worried about his Digimon partner. His amber eyes shinning with pain-

Pain?

-and determination.

And then he understood. He understood it so perfectly. He understood why he had to hurt to save. It was all for the greater good. He smiled at the realization. He looked up at the Digimon Kaiser and their eyes met for just a moment. He felt something-understood something-which he had not before. Though he could not put these feelings into words, he knew they were important. He knew it explained everything that he was feeling.

Daisuke sighed, as he looked up form the painting he had been currently working on all day. The mixture of grays and reds and oranges had reminded him of MetalGreymon, which had brought memories of the past. A smirk spread across his face. There were millions of things he didn't understand, but now that he was older he was better at hiding it. Better at dealing with it.

There was a knock at the door of his small loft and he stood, placing his paintbrush in the water can next to him and walking towards the door. His bare feet stepping over dirty clothing and spilled paint.

Mental note: clean up spill.

Daisuke looked into the peephole then smirked. He removed the three, double-bolt locks and opened the door to reveal a rather wet and very annoyed Takaishi Takeru. Daisuke grinned at him and motioned for him to enter, which the young man did. Daisuke then turned and closed and locked the door before following the trail of water back to his living room slash bedroom.

"To what do I owe this pleasure, oh wet one." Daisuke said grabbing one of the shirts that were on the floor and placing it on Takeru's head. Takeru glared at Daisuke as the redhead began to dry his hair with the aforementioned shirt.

Fighting made us closer. Daisuke thought as Takeru took the shirt form his hands and grumbled something about moron painters who use dirty shirts instead of towels to dry people. Daisuke smirked again. Fighting because of our differences showed us our similarities.

***

There was no real reason why they had come to the Digiworld so late at night, but they were there. Neither one really remembering the reason why they had come, only concentrating on the matter at hand-kicking the crap out of the other.

Daisuke drew a shaky breath in, wiping blood from his lip with the back of his mustard-colored, gloved hand. His other hand in a tight fist at his side, Daisuke glared at Takeru who stood a few feet away form him. The other boy's blue eyes flashing dangerously, his hat long gone, his hair disheveled.

Neither one could remember why they were fighting. All they knew was that they were angry or they were suppose to be angry with the other. Though neither one was exactly angry anymore. Actually, fist fighting had wore them out and they both just wanted to sit down and rest, yet neither one was willing to back down to the other.

Daisuke raised his hand a bit and Takeru charged at him, thinking that Daisuke was going to attack and wanting to beat him to the punch. Daisuke, caught slightly by surprise, could do nothing but defend against the onslaught of punches.

"Teme…" Daisuke murmured as he stepped to the side and swung at Takeru. The boy's eyes closed and he fell form the impact of the punch. And Daisuke jumped on top of Takeru, his fist raising and falling on the form below him.

Takeru's eyes stayed shut as he was hit, his body screaming in agony and the anger in him building quickly. He opened his eyes catching one of Daisuke's fists, while moving his head to the side so the other could miss. He took the chance that the other boy was confused to grab hold of Daisuke's neck with his free hand and squeeze. Daisuke's eyes grew wide and he opened his mouth to gasp for air, his hands fly towards the one holding his neck. But now both of Takeru's hands were wrapped around his neck and wouldn't let go.

Daisuke pulled at Takeru's hands while glaring down at him, but Takeru would not deter. He placed his foot on Daisuke's stomach and pushed the boy off of him while letting go. But he also followed him, jumping on top of Daisuke as he gasped for air.

The darker boy was to busy gasping for air to notice Takeru until the blond was on top of him. Blue eyes, darker with anger, staring down at him. He was pinned to the floor because Takeru was sitting on his legs and holding his shoulders down with his hands.

"Why'd you hit me?" Takeru all but yelled. Daisuke glared at him and struggled to get loose.

"Hanase…Teme!!" Daisuke growled. "Let me go now!!"

Takeru held him down harder, repeating his question through clenched teeth. Daisuke glared up at him or at least tried to, for even though his eyes were narrowed and there was anger in them, there was more pain reflecting in those chocolate eyes then anything else. Takeru felt his anger slowly disappear.

"Daisuke…" Takeru began.

"No, don't give me this crap, TK." Daisuke interrupted. "Just let me go!"

"Daisuke, what did I do wrong?"

"Nothing."

"There has to be a reason for giving me this shiner." Daisuke glared at him.

"There wasn't…I just wanted to."

Takeru's eyes narrowed, one hand releasing Daisuke shoulder to hit him in the face. Brown eyes closed in pain; he could almost feel his teeth rattling.

Daisuke's whole body hurt from the fight. The fight that started because he was way too sensitive. He shouldn't have hit Takeru, he knew that the minute Takeru had placed his hand over his eye in pain but he didn't get a chance to apologize for Takeru was charging at him before he could even think of a thing to say. And then they didn't stop. He wouldn't stop because even if he was wrong to hit him, Takeru's words still hurt.

"That's not the answer I wanted to hear!" Takeru all but growled. Daisuke sighed and continued to keep his eyes closed. He didn't want to look into those piercing blue eyes.

"I know." He said after a long time. Takeru's anger once more melted away. There were so many different emotions in that voice.

"Then tell me." Daisuke said nothing for a long time and Takeru respected his need for silence.

"Get off me." Daisuke finally said taking Takeru off guard and throwing him off. Daisuke stood and dusted himself off not once looking at the other boy.

Takeru stood up prepared to jump the other boy if he showed any signs of flight. Takeru wanted to know what had upset the other boy so much and wasn't about let him get away.

"I'm sorry I hit you." Daisuke finally said. "But you pissed me off. That comment about me and my family you made wasn't cool, TK."

Takeru stood there bemused for a long moment.

"You mean the one about how you don't resemble your family?" Daisuke visibly stiffened.

"That was crude on really high levels, TK." Daisuke still had his back to him but Takeru didn't have to look at his face to know that Daisuke was extremely hurt.

"Daisuke…boku wa-" Takeru began.

"I'm adopted, TK." He had no idea why he just said that. It had just slipped out and he couldn't stop it. But yet he felt better saying it, if not a little scared of Takeru's reaction.

Takeru felt like he had been punched in the gut. How could have he been so insensitive! Why had he said that anyway? He didn't even know. All he knew was that he had been angry with Daisuke over something concerning Hikari, and he wanted to talk to him thus calling for a late night meeting in the Digiworld. Daisuke had once more pissed him off and he had made the comment about his family resembles or lack of, during one of their more intense moments. Then Daisuke had hit him and he understood why.

"Kami-sama" was all he could say. He felt so ashamed. "Daisuke…I-" Takeru looked up from staring at the ground and notice that Daisuke was no where in sight. He had disappeared and Takeru had been so absorbed in his thoughts that had not realized it.

"Shit Daisuke, why do you have to so difficult?" Takeru said running off after him.

***

"So, this is your new painting?" Takeru said looking at the half-finished painting. He noticed that Daisuke had recently been working on it because of the still wet paintbrushes and the open cans of paint.

"Yeah." Came Daisuke's faint reply form the bathroom.

"It's weird." Takeru continued. "This isn't earth, is it?" he continued to look at it as if he were trying to decipher hieroglyphics. The strange mixtures of red and orange and those off areas where there were only shapes of gray, it didn't make much sense to Takeru, then again he never really understood art in the first place.

Daisuke walked out of the bathroom while zipping up his fly, the low whoosh of the toilet echoing in the background. He looked up at Takeru and then at his painting as he walked towards him.

"Naw…I only do otherworldly art for Wallace." Daisuke said, "And he hasn't asked for anything in a while." Takeru nodded. "That's not finished."

Takeru titled his head somewhat and Daisuke found himself admiring his friend's beauty. Something he had done many times since they had become friends.

I really should get him to pose for me. Daisuke thought grinning.

"Daisuke, you're almost out of canvas." Takeru said. "How can you say it's not finished?"

Daisuke grinned. "It's going to be done in pieces, Takeru." Daisuke pointed to the other three canvases that all ready had small, light sketches on them. "Each piece will be unique and show a picture but when all the pieces are put together they will show a grand story."

Takeru nodded in understanding. "So, what's the whole picture suppose to be?"

"If I told you that, I would be spoiling all the fun." Takeru rolled his eyes and walked to the couch. He began to shove dirty clothing and other weird-and sometimes disgusting-things out of the way so that he could sit down.

Daisuke…artistic genius…huge ass pig. Takeru thought with a fond smile.

"So, why the hell did you come here while the sky's falling?" Daisuke asked beginning to clean his brushes.

Takeru looked at him and then out the window. The rain had not seemed to cease since the time he had arrived if anything it had gotten worse. Lightening dancing through the sky, the thunder being its' music. Both, daring anyone to cross them at their most powerful. The wind blew by quickly, whipping at people's faces, its' icy fingers wrapping around the unsuspecting passerby and freezing them down to the marrow of their bones. The bare trees also danced, swaying back and forth by Daisuke's windows trying to entrance those within, their branches scratching up against the window demanding to be let in. Takeru felt a shiver run up his spine remembering to many scary stories that revolved around days like that.

"You still cold?" Daisuke asked throwing him a sweater. Takeru thanked him and put on the sweater aware that it smelled like Daisuke. A smell that consisted of paint and red wood. Takeru smiled wondering where Daisuke could have picked up the smell of red wood.

"You haven't answered my question." Daisuke said walking over to kitchenette to throw away the dirty water.

"I was in the neighborhood." Takeru replied, shrugging. "Thought I'd drop by see how you were doing." Daisuke arched an eyebrow at this.

"Takeru, quit the crap and tell me what you want." Daisuke said moving the canvas to a place where there was less traffic. Takeru sighed.

"I really just came to see you, Daisuke." Takeru said. "Been kinda worried about you. Haven't seen you since you started dating Shoma-san." Daisuke looked at him and shrugged.

"Been penned up in this place painting." Daisuke informed him, pointing to the half-finished canvas. "And as for Shoma-kun, we broke up a while ago."

"Him or you?" Takeru asked already knowing the answer.

"Him."

"Got bored?"

"Yeah."

"You know why, right?"

Daisuke sighed. "We go through this every time, Takeru."

Takeru shook his head and looked up at the ceiling. He couldn't understand Daisuke. The young man was constantly switching lovers. They'd came and went like the season but they'd wouldn't last as long. Each one different, yet all similar. Takeru knew exactly what relationship Daisuke had with these people but he would never say it out loud. The only difference was that Daisuke actually went out on dates with them, instead of just jumping in the sack. But it always ended up like that. Relationships based on nothing but sex rarely went anywhere.

Daisuke had only had one relationship that wasn't like that. It was the one he had with Hikari when they were sixteen. They had dated but then had broken up. They fought, constantly. But it wasn't because Daisuke did stupid things or insulted or treated her a certain way she didn't like or vice versa. It was because Daisuke was extremely closed off and always acted very odd during relationships.

"Apathetic to the point of being submissive." Hikari had told him once. It was the night before she had broken up with him. "I ask him if wants to do something and he always say 'do whatever you want'. Even when it directly affects him! I can't have that kind of relationship, Takeru! "

It pained him to think of that, because Hikari had really liked Daisuke and she had cried when they had broken up.

"He just looked at me!" Hikari had wailed. His shirt was soaked with her tears. "Like if I had just told him the sky was blue! Then he nodded and said that he wasn't upset and I know he only said it because of the look that was on my face, and I know he meant it too! He's not upset. I don't think he even cares. I don't know what's wrong with him, Takeru. I couldn't get close to him, physically yes, but not emotionally. It's like he has this wall and then a fuckin' force field and a thousand other things.

And his eyes become blank sometimes. Like when I would ask him to do something he'd just nod-no matter what it was. When we were intimate it felt artificial like it was just a job for him. I don't even think he paid attention…I don't know. It's not like he was bad or anything, far from it, really. But it's like his mind and heart weren't into. Like he wasn't doing it to please himself just me…I don't know. I don't understand and when I tried to ask he'd avoid the question and if I press he'd just withdraw further. He'd never yell though, just not answer. He'd watch me yell but never yell back."

Takeru had been just as perplexed as Hikari. He had known that Daisuke was very secretive about his past (and he was sure it had to do with his past). But even he knew very little passed the fact that Daisuke had been adopted. And many didn't even know that. Daisuke just didn't like to share his past and Takeru respected his privacy but he still felt hurt. He was supposed to be the boy's best friend-well, he and Ken, that is. But neither seemed to know anything, they both would give each other confused and exasperated looks. Neither knew and would never know from the way things looked. For Daisuke didn't want to tell and they didn't want to pry. But how could they help their friend if they didn't know the reasons for his troubles. His secrets seemed to hurt more then help the situation. But as Hikari had said: when one tried to delve into his past, even the most cunning and subtle could not get past the guard or the door of three-inch reinforced steel and what ever other devices were placed to keep the world form discovery the redheads secrets.

So Takeru said nothing and waited, just like Ken. They waited for the moment when Daisuke would finally be ready to tell them his secrets.

I don't think I'll live to see the day. Takeru thought bitterly.

Worried heart is beating with darkness

Feeling so cold and tight inside of the skull

Nerve function has been out of order

Kissing to the sleeping beauty in the forest

Dream is still a dream that never changes

Dream is still a dream that never changes

Blind fear is lingering around

Falling to the deepness of the inner spiral

Dream is still a dream that never changes

Dream is still a dream that never changes

Get rid of you notions

Haven't you realized yet? (Do it)

Get feel of your passion

Haven't you realized yet? (Go for it)

Perceive through the soul

Dream is still a dream that never changes

Dream is still a dream that never changes

Destroying the illusion with your hands

Destroying the illusion with your hands

Get rid of you notions

Haven't you realized yet? (Do it)

Get feel of your passion

Haven't you realized yet? (Go for it)

You get out from the shell

Get rid of your notions

Haven't you realized yet? (Do it)

Get feel of your passion

Haven't you realized yet? (Go for it)

Perceive through the soul

Get rid of your notions

Get rid of your border

Get rid of your notions

Get rid of your border

Get out from the shell-Asian version-

By, L'Arc~en~Ciel