Digimon Fan Fiction ❯ Sweet Dreams ❯ Confessions ( Chapter 1 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

Rated: R

Warnings: Angst, angst, angst, angst, and can we say ANGSTY ANGST GOODNESS!!! OH AND DON'T FORGET YAOI. Don't like it DON'T BITCH TO ME ABOUT IT!!! Oh and also, a bit of Brittany Spears bashing

Disclaimer: Don't own them. Though I would like to get my hands on Kouji, Kouichi, and Takuya for a while. *chuckles evilly*

The afore mentioned boys: *laughs nervously* …. Uh oh

Author's Notes: Okay I found out that the forth season existed like a month and a half ago. So I haven't gotten all the character personalities down yet, except for Kouji. I'm starting to wonder if I'm obsessed with him. But it isn't my fault that he kicks ass. This fic was inspired by "Sweet Dreams" and "The Beautiful People" by Marilyn Manson. But I'll shut up now and start the show

Chapter I

Confessions

(Takuya's POV)

I long to caress his dark locks of hair. I long to look into his eyes for the rest of eternity. I love him no doubt about it. I don't want his love in return. No, I absolutely NEED it. I want to feel his skin upon mine. I want to feel his soft, velvet looking lips to lock with mine as our tongues duel for supremacy. After a bit of a fight I would let him win, and utterly ravish my mouth with his. Then I would let him lay me down to make love to me. I don't think I could ever get any closer to heaven then that. This is my fantasy every night.

But……

I don't think he would love me the same way I love him. I mean we are best friends, but I don't think he wants anything more than that from me. I don't know though, but then again whoever knows the way things work in side that beautiful head of his.

Shit! Now I'm thinking of his face again. His beautifully mysterious eyes. His cute nose. His mouth. I, I got to stop now before I need to get yet another shower.

I'm lying in my bed staring at the picture of him and I. It was taken along time ago. But who cares as long as I have at least one picture to stare at. And I do. It's the first think I see when I wake up and the last thing I see when I go to sleep.

Yet no matter how much I love him I must keep it a secret. I'm afraid of destroying our friendship. I can deal with him only being my friend, but I don't think I could ever stand for him to hate me. Not to mention that I dread what my parent would do if the found out I was gay. Mom doesn't' say much, but my father's like "those damn faggots" this and "those damn faggots" that. Ever time he says that I cringe. Like I said before I don't think that he would take to lightly for his son, his pride and joy being "one of those damn faggots"

The next day at school I see him, the object of my every desire. "Hey Kouji" I say trying to stay calm and collected.

"Hey Takuya" he says

II just stare at him as he gets his stuff out of his locker. I managed to look away just as he starts to turn and leave.

"Well got to class" he says and walks off

I stand there for a second as sigh. But a hand on my shoulder brought me out of my musings. It's Izumi

"Ya know Takuya," she started "you really should tell him"

I turned to her shocked "But how did you…"

"Please I'm a girl. I know these things. I can just tell"

"You have some sort of 'gaydar'" I said jokingly

"Well I wouldn't say it that way but maybe" she shot back

I was glad that she was so open-minded. Now if only the parents would be that way and Kouji could fall in love with me I think I could be happy forever. The whole could rot in hell for all I cared if I could have Kouji.

"But seriously I think you should tell him, besides what the worst thing that could happen."

"Being rejected. Kouji hating me. My parents some how finding out and killing me." I could go on but I stopped there.

Izumi "hmmed" and thought for a moment "Well If you want I could see if he likes you" she said

"I couldn't ask you to do that. This is my problem. I'll take care of it" I say

"Please!" she said exasperatedly "I don't mind. I like playing Cupid"

"Whatever. Do what you want." I say " but if you do I'd rather it be that I tell him myself so if must say something just say that someone likes him or some crap like that" I say not really knowing how to tell Izumi "no"

"Well we better get to class before we're late" she says.

We say our "see ya later's" and part ways.

Lunch rolled by and we did our usual. I ate with every body like I always do. Then came the end of the day. School let out and we all hung out a bit. After a little while every body started to leave one by one till it was just me and Izumi.

"So did you find out anything?" I ask half wanting to know and half not.

"Unfortunately no" she said. "I couldn't get a word out of him after I asked if he was with somebody."

"Don't worry about it, Izumi" I started "I'll figure it out" I say with a smile but inside I was a bit sad that she didn't find anything out, but once again who can understand what goes on in that guy's head?

"Whatever" she said "but if you need help let me know. I'll do what I can." she finished

"Thanks Izumi. See ya later."

With that I went home with one thing on my mind. Kouji. What a surprise right? See how I'm fuckin obsessed with him. I go home and do my usual routine. Do my homework then dream of a day where Kouji and I could be one. It gets harder and harder every day to see him and not try to hold him. I'm just afraid I'll slip up and do something in public before I confess to him.

Ya know what I can't take this any more. Tomorrow I'm gonna ask him he would spend the night and I'll tell him then. Well come here grab some cash, go see a movie, or rent a movie, depending on what he wants to do. Then after the movie I'll tell him. With that done I decided ton to think on the matter anymore till it was time. I didn't want to get overly nervous and screw things up.

The next day at school I told Izumi of my weekend plans and gave it a big thumbs up. I asked Kouji and he said yes. So step one it done. After school we went to the mall and walked around for a while, looking at various things. Trying to kill time. After a while we saw a movie. It was the new "Lord of the Rings" movie, and I must say it royally kicked ass. We then went back to my house. We spent a while just talking listening to music, though I don't think he likes the same genre of music I do. Though that would surprise me seeing how I listen to every thing except for pop, country and jazz. Jazz sounds too much like porn music, country's to damn whinny, and people like Brittany Spears are just so slutty and nasty it makes me sick. But any way. I look at the clock. 7:58pm is what is read. I turned to Kouji and stared at him for a moment till he looked back. I look away quickly and blush. Out of the corner of my eye I notice a questioning look upon his face. Just as he was about to say something, I start to speak while glancing at the clock again 8:00pm it said

"I must admit I had a reason for you to come over." I started

"I was wondering about that" He said

"Well I have a small confession. Two actually." damn I was getting nervous my hands started to shake so I clamped tight to my pants leg.

"Well what is it?" he said not one to draw things out.

"Well first of all. I'm, I'm ……" oh God who was I going to do this "I'm gay" I said really fast

Kouji gave me a look that just screamed 'and your telling me this because…'

"And for number two" I said feeling really nervous now. "I think I'm in love with you"

I never saw anybodies eyes go so large so fast, and then narrow. He got up and walked till he was inches from my face, with his eyes boring into mine. Then with on fluid motion he backedhanded me across the face. Physically it didn't hurt that much, but inside I was crushed. I could feel the tears forming at the corners of my eyes. He shot me one last glare, and walked out the door. I looked at the clock. It read 8:02. My eyes blurred with the tears. I managed to take a friendship that has lasted for years, and destroy it in two minutes.

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Scy: whacha think continue, or what. Tell me. REVIEW!!!!!