Digimon Fan Fiction ❯ The Pirates Who Don't Do Anything ❯ Chapter 1

THE PIRATES WHO DON'T DO ANYTHING

Disclaimer: I don't own Digimon. Life is full of suprises. I also don't own the song `The Pirates Who Don't Do Anything' by Relient K. Relient K owns it. But seriously, go get it. You're weird for not having it.

 ----------------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------

 

It was dark. It was night. The two are often related. In the case of one Tai Kamiya, it was especially dark. The street lamps along the waterside were considered fair game for any of the more rebellious youths with a good aim and a good arm, and so he stood in the dark, leaning on a railing and staring out into the bay. He was troubled, and when he was troubled, the soft whispering of the water helped him sort his thoughts into a semblance of order, let his thoughts drift as naturally as the waves in front of him.

 He should feel something more, he was sure of it. But he didn't, and that troubled him. Kari was maturing so quickly now. That troubled him too. He'd have to keep an eye on TK. And thinking of TK got him back to thinking about Matt, which got him thinking about Sora, which got him thinking about Matt and Sora, which got him back to thinking about his lack of feeling about the subject.

 

We're the Pirates who don't do anything

We just stay at home and lie around

And if you ask us to do anything

We'll just tell you we don't do anything

 

Probably, it was his own fault. Maybe, had he been quicker in asking her, she wouldn't be with Matt. Probably, if he'd been more like Matt in the first place, he'd have stood a better chance. Probably, even if he had been a superhero, he'd have lost her to someone else. The fact that some people did actually consider him a hero was no consolation. It just meant he sucked even more. If he'd ever known that he'd end up being a celebrity of sorts for the whole Digital World thing, then he'd have been willing to bet that, whatever else he was, he wouldn't be alone. And he wasn't. He had Agumon, he had his friends, and, over the years, there had been girls interested in him, but in hindsight, he'd been so fixated on Sora he hadn't seen them, somehow. And here he was. Not alone, but in a strange way, all on his own with no particular inclinations.

 

Well, I've never been to Greenland,
And I've never been to Denver,
And I've never buried treasure in St. Louis or St. Paul,
And I've never been to Moscow,
And I've never been to Tampa,
And I've never been to Boston in the fall

'Cause We'rethe pirates who don't do anything,
We just stay at home and lie around,
And if you ask us to do anything,
We'll just tell you we don't do anything

 

He should be heading home. Kari would be worrying about him if he stayed out too late. He rolled his eyes. As if he'd do something stupid. As if he'd do something stupid and terminal, he amended. He knew better than that. He began to walk along the edge of the quay, still lost in thought and in no particular hurry. And then he heard a noise that made him look up. Someone was climbing over the railings up ahead. Someone he thought he recognized. She carried a rucksack on her back that looked heavy. If a person fell into the water wearing that, they could…

Then, almost before he realized, he was running faster than he knew he could.

 

And I've never hoisted the mainstay,
AndI've never swabbed the poop deck,
And I've never veered to starboard,
Cause I never sail at all.

And I've never walked the gangplank,
AndI've never owned a parrot,
And I've never been to Boston in the fall

 

'Cause were the pirates who don't do anything,
Wejust stay at home and lie around,
And if you ask us to do anything,
We'll just tell you we don't do anything

 

`JUN! NO!' He shouted, barreling forward. She looked around, the bag over her shoulder, precariously balanced on the railings.

`Tai?' She said, shocked. Her eyes widened in alarm as she realized he was going too fast. `Tai, look out; you're going to-'

There was a thud, a shrill scream, a cry of alarm and two splashes as Tai barreled into Jun, sending them both flipping off the railings into the water. The backpack, which had only been held lightly on one shoulder-strap, fell to the floor and burst open. Tai looked up in surprise as he doggy paddled, Teenage Wolves merchandise floating down to them like highly localized snow. A CD hit him on the head before spinning off into the dark water around them. Distractedly, he turned his head slightly to see where it went, and found himself face to face with Jun, bemused and spitting water, looking at him incredulously. Her hair, he noticed, was soaked and damply framed her face.

`What the hell was that for?' She demanded, shivering. Tai became aware of a sinking feeling in his stomach, the kind that indicates you've just performed a faux pas of astronomic proportions.

`Well, I saw you with the bag, and it looked really heavy, and what with the climbing on the railings I thought you were going to…' his sentence trailed off, evaporated by a vaguely scornful stare.

`As if I'd do something like that!' Her expression softened, and the faintest hint of a grin made itself known. `But thanks for being concerned. It was a nice gesture, if a bit thick.' She shivered. `Can we get out of the quay now?'

 

Well, I've never plucked a rooster,
And I'm not too good at ping pong,
And I've never thrown my mashed potatoes,
Up against the wall.

And I've never kissed a chipmunk,
And I've never gotten head lice,
AndI've never been to Boston in the Fall

Meanwhile, in a wooden Galleon docked across the quay, a feared pirate captain furrowed his fearsome brow in concentrated thought, some would say merely to act as a conduit for the spoken part of the song. They'd be right.

`Pirate Captain's Log, 2002. Who be this band Relient K? And why be they so full of contradictions?' he mused to himself, headphones clamped over his hilarious stereotypical fearsome pirate-type hat. His Parrot shrugged. No mean feat for a Parrot.

 

We don't know, what we did,
but we're down with Captain Kid,
We don't wake up late for lunch,
Butwe all eat Captain Crunch,
We don't smoke,
We don't chew,
We watch Captain Kangaroo

 

Tai swam around. There was a series of steps leading up to the pier about twenty yards away. He nodded and pointed to them as best he could.

`We can get out there.' He spluttered, getting water in his mouth. He began to swim towards the dock in smooth, confident overhand strokes. The water really was freezing, and he'd be glad to get out. He was, of course, in good condition, and therefore almost surprised when Jun leveled with him. She turned her head towards him to grab another lungful of air, and for a second he could swear she grinned impishly at him before starting to pull away. Tai almost laughed, but stopped himself. Two could play that game. He began to put more energy into his strokes. He didn't usually swim in his clothes, but he knew how it was done, and soon they were neck and neck again. There was a flurry of activity as they both reached the steps and pulled themselves out, laughing somewhat sheepishly despite themselves. They both stood, wringing out wet clothes and shaking sodden heads, droplets of water flying in all directions. Tai made a face.

`This isn't going to get us anywhere. Come on, there's one of those all-hours self-service Launderette places nearby. I think I have enough on me for a couple of tumble dryers.' Jun nodded and smiled bravely. `Sounds good to me.' They started to walk. `You know, your hair looks really bizarre when it's wet, Tai.'

`Oh?'

`Yeah. Sorta like a deflated porcupine.' She grinned, teasingly. Tai blew a raspberry at her.

`So, what were you doing down here?' He asked, hoping to turn the tables. She had the decency to look embarrassed.

`Well, if you must know, I thought…well, it's been three months since Matt started seeing Sora, and I thought…why not make a clean slate? Maybe at this stage I should be trying to move on…I mean, the Teenage Wolves are good, but they aren't the best…I don't know.' She admitted. `It was sort of spur of the moment, but I think it needed to be done.' She shrugged whimsically, and looked up to the night sky. The stars weren't clear thanks to the light pollution of the city, but she fancied she could make out faint points of light here and there.

`Sometimes, I guess you just have to accept you didn't take the right chances, and move on.'

And I've never licked a spark plug,
And I've never sniffed a stinkbug,
And I've never painted daises,
On a big red rubber ball.

And I've never bathed in yogurt,
AndI don't look good in leggings,
And I've never been to Boston in the fall

 

Tai nodded thoughtfully.

`You know, that sounded really deep. What are you studying again? Psychology?'

`Sport Therapy and an elective in Sociology. That I got from the wall of the girl's toilet in the Sociology department.' She confessed, scooping to pick up her backpack, emptying the last Teenage Wolves merchandise over the side.

`Then again, the same cubicle has a discussion on the left wall about you and Matt, so I wouldn't say it was a fount of wisdom exactly.'

`Saying what?'

`Saying it would be so hot if you two were lovers, wondering if you are lovers, bemoaning the fact you are lovers, denying outright you're lovers…'

Tai looked at her, unable to tell if she was serious or not. Her face gave nothing away until a smile started to tug at the corner of her mouth as she looked at him.

`Really?'

`Really.'

`Huh.'

They walked in silence for a few minutes, Jun's smile growing.

`…You know we aren't, right?'

`I was pretty sure.'

`I mean, he has a girlfriend now.'

`Oh, you never know. Whoever it is that writes in green felt tip thinks that's just a cover to save face.'

`Excuse me' Came an unfamiliar voice. Tai and Jun looked around, their conversation stalled.

`Parn' me fer overhearin' yer conversation, but I were wonderin' if'n you'd like to join me crew of pirates, see? There'll be lootin' and pillaging and treasure an adventure.' The Pirate captain paused, considering. `An maybe even sea shanties.'

`Um….No, thanks all the same.' Tai said cautiously. The Pirate Captain nodded amiably.

`Yarr, that be what I thought. Well, if'n you change your mind, just ask for the Cap'n. We be docked here all week.'

 

We are the pirates who don't do anything,
Wejust stay at home and lie around,
and if you ask us to do anything,
We'll just tell you we don't do anything

 

`OK, thanks…Well, good night…'

`Same to ye. Arr.'

Jun and Tai watched him leave. Tai looked at Jun. Jun looked at Tai. They shrugged.

`So…they really think we're gay?'

`Some of them, yeah.'

As they talked and laughed, walking towards the Launderette, Tai realized that, somehow, he didn't feel so alone now. He glanced over at Jun again. She was looking at him out of the corner of her eye, but she quickly looked away when she realized he was doing the same. He mulled back over what she'd said about moving on…

`Jun?'

`Hmm?'

`Want me meet tomorrow for a drink or something? I mean, it's probably the least I can do…' he muttered. There was silence, ghastly. Numbing silence that seemed to last forever, and -

`Sure.'

`Really?'

`Yeah, why not? I mean, it's not like I have anything else planned, and besides…'

`Besides what?'

`Well, you did push me into the quay You owe me.' She said, smiling at him again. Tai smiled back, his face now lit by the glowing sign of the Launderette.

Probably it would turn out to be nothing. Maybe it was just an accepted apology between acquaintances. But maybe, just maybe…Tai shrugged, and pushed that thought to the back of his head. Tomorrow was another day, and he'd deal with it when it came. But for the moment, he had the moment to occupy his mind.

All in all, it hadn't been a bad evening after all.

 

We are the pirates who don't do anything,
Wejust stay at home and lie around,
and if you ask us to do anything,
We'll just tell you we don't do anything

 

 

 

AN: Well, there you have it. I'm quite pleased with it myself, being rather new to both romance writing and songfic writing. Maybe you didn't find it that romantic. Maybe it had you reaching for the Kleenex. Maybe it was funny. Maybe you're entertaining thoughts about hunting me down. Maybe you enjoyed it, maybe you didn't. This is what reviews are for. Personally, I think it works OK as a one-shot, but if enough people want more, I could see what I can do! In any case, thanks for reading. I owe you one. I should, however, explain why I used that song. Well, I've read a lot of songfics, and they all seem to use the same kind of songs - loving or sad, and I wanted to not do that simply to be contrary. Bizzarely, I think it works if you read it in a nostalgic, whimsical sort of way…

Peace out.

 DC