Digimon Fan Fiction ❯ Untitled (Random Series) ❯ A New Depression ( Chapter 2 )

Daisuke just didn't understand why Ken didn't open up to anyone, even him. Then it happened, the news was everywhere especially the middle schools. It went around like fire. A boy about his age had been shot, just shot. Apparently the boy was homosexual, it was a hate crime in the city. Near Tamachi too… Daisuke had gone over to see if Ken would talk to him. Dai was nervous walking around. He was bi and it made him a little uneasy that he was walking into the heat of the scandal.

"Daisuke! Ken's in his room, he seems worse…."

"I'll talk to him Mrs. Ichijouji…" Daisuke assured her as he was led to Ken's room again.

"Ken?" Dai asked as he knocked.

"GO AWAY!" came the sobbed reply.

"Ken, we're worried about you.." Dai said as he opened the door slightly. The place was a little brighter than the last time, and it seemed to have a different feel. This wasn't the same depression he'd been radiating. This was something much more that caused him so much grief. Ken didn't look better unfortunately. He was sobbing pitifully on his bed. Dai flinched at the sound of muffled sobs and wails.

"I told you to go away…" Ken said as Dai closed the door behind him. `In some ways, Daisuke Motomiya is just like my Tenshi… My Ryo…' that thought caused the boy to sob hard again.

"Ken, what's wrong?" Dai asked coming closer to the bed.

"He's gone… really, truly, completely gone…" Ken whispered pulling back against the wall away from Daisuke but not by much. The redhead started to climb up the ladder still keeping some distance.

"Who? Wormmon?" he sat on the edge of the bed. Close enough to comfort, far enough that the genius didn't feel the need to run. Ken was starting to relax in his presence.

"No… You told me about Primary Village, he'll come back… but…" the rest of the sentence swallowed whole by sobs. Daisuke only hesitated a moment before pulling Ken into a strong embrace.

"Who Ken-kun? Who? Please talk to me… Don't shut me out now…" Dai said and soon he felt Ken's arms snake around his waist and hold him back as he sobbed bitterly.

"They killed him! They killed my Tenshi! My angel…. They killed him…" he sobbed. Dai stroked his hair rocking them gently back and forth. Something within Daisuke sank.

"Who is `he' Ken? Who was your angel?"

"Ryo! And they just killed him! How could they kill him? He was so kind! So gentle… And they….they.. they… SHOT HIM!" Ken pressed closer to Daisuke. `He feels safe like Ryo, but different…' Ken thought. Daisuke kissed the top of the violet head and continued to rock the thin boy as he cried.

Soon Ken had sobbed himself to sleep, still clutching tightly to Daisuke. Mrs. Ichijouji came in to check on them and insisted that Daisuke stay the night. She offered to help peel Ken off of him but Daisuke said that Ken seemed too peaceful to risk waking him. She took one look at her son, saw the tiny pull of a smile at the corner of his mouth and agreed. Daisuke refused dinner as well. Saying he wasn't hungry really. He'd eaten on the way over. At about eleven Daisuke joined Ken in dreamland. `Poor Ken… I wish I could cheer him up, but he's hurting over love.. There's not much I can do to fix a broken heart like that…'

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Ken's eyes fluttered open to find himself still in an embrace. He glanced up to see that it was Daisuke. A Blush crept across his face. `I've stayed most the night in his arms…' He felt as if he were betraying his love for Ryo by ENJOYING it. Ken decided to ignore the voice that said this was wrong as he laid the sleeping Dai down on in his bed and curled up to him again. Laying here with Daisuke, he could forget all his problems and relax. With Ryo, he'd forgotten most of them but not all. Ken sighed happily as he watched Daisuke sleep. He carefully removed the goggles and hung them on the ladder. The maroon hair cascaded down the sleeping boy's relaxed features. Ken reached out as if to brush it back only to hesitate mere inches from it. After that brief moment he brushed it away and discovered that a sleeping Daisuke looked like a vibrant angel. This was, actually, how Ryo had gotten the nickname from his. That and being like a guardian angel when Osamu died.

The hand on Dai's upper temple moved lower to his cheek. Then on to his lips. They were soft, and looked so kissable, but no. He couldn't kiss Daisuke. They'd been enemies too long. The goggle-boy could never like him THAT WAY. Daisuke was just a wonderful and caring friend….

(That you've always wanted in one way or another…)

|'No! I care about him like I cared for Ryo… I don't want to hurt him…'|

(But you want him to hurt you. You want him to ravish you! You want him to see you undone! Completely! You want him to make you submit to his every whim! Or is it what you want to do to him?)

Ken held back a sob. That voice, he'd have to seal it away again. He'd done it for Ryo; he'd do it for Daisuke. That voice could hurt anyone. Daisuke began to stir so Ken lay down next to him, cuddled close, and went back to sleep.

Dai blinked a bit. His goggles gone and he was lying down. Ken no longer clung to him but he was still close. Dai pulled him closer and kissed his forehead. "I'll do everything I can to take away the pain Ken-chan… I promise…"

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When Daisuke woke the next morning Ken was looking at him. "Why did you stay?"

"Because I care about you and couldn't leave you in so much pain…" Daisuke answered. Ken nodded and snuggled into the crook of Dai's neck.

"When are you leaving?"

"Later…" There was a pause where they could hear each other breath.

"When will you be back?"

"When do you want me back?" Ken pulled away a bit.

"I don't really want you to leave…" he whispered.

"Then I'll do what I can not to leave. Simple as that…" Ken's arms wound around the tanner boy's waist and settled his head over the other's heart. Dai smiled and held him.

"Dai?" Ken asked after a few moments. A hand ran through his hair and Dai made a `hmm' sound to show he was listening. "Why do you care for me? I mean, after everything I put you through! You sti-" A warm finger placed itself on his lips to silence him.

"I do… I care because I can see how kind you really are…"

"You can?"

"Yes I can. I see how you try to overcome the darkness that's inside you, and slowly but surely you succeed." Tears welled up in Ken's eyes as he raised his head to look at his friend.

"Dai, I-…Thank you…" he whispered pulling himself closer.

"You're welcome, Ken-chan…" Dai murmured. For the rest of the morning Ken stayed close to Dai as if the other boy were his lifeline. When Dai HAD to leave, Ken stayed in bed. His parents felt very happy that someone had made it through to their son.

A girl with long brown hair watched as Daisuke left the apartment. She walked over and knocked quietly. "Yes?" Mrs. Ichijouji asked as she opened the door before she saw the girl's sad blue eyes.

"I wanted to know, if I could, possibly talk with Ken…" she said softly.

"Alexandra?" the woman asked placing a hand to her mouth. The girl nodded. Mrs. Ichijouji opened the door wide. "He's in his room dear… Are you alright?"

"I'm working through it a day at a time, ma'am…" she answered honestly as she made her way towards Ken's room.

"Who is it?" Ken asked at the knock reached his ears.

"Alé…" she answered as the door opened quickly. Violet eyes looked up at her as she smiled to him. "Hey kid."

"Hey…" he stepped aside to let her in and she took a seat on the table. "What brings you here?"

"That's such a loaded question…" she said pulling off her bag and jacket. "Ryo."

"I kinda figured that…" Ken said sitting in a chair.

"There's a few things.. I thought you should have some of this, if you wanted it… I know you two were in love. I know you still love him, but I also know he wants you to be happy and move on."

"It's hard… I think I'm falling in love with Daisuke, but I feel I'm betraying Ryo…." Ken said looking away. Alexandra reached over and took his hands.

"Look, you are my otouto… You have always been like a little brother to me ever since you and Ryo started being friends… And you are supposed to come to me with problems…. I can help you fix this, as I can fix everything else to an extent. Now, this Daisuke. He's a redhead with big, pretty brown eyes. He's got a wonderful caramel complexion.. Very energetic and such… He reminds you of Ryo… But do not let that be the only thing to hold you to him," she said as she let go and opened her bag. "I thought you should have this, his digivice… And, these pictures of you two and this is from me…" She handed him a small box. Ken looked at her a moment before opening it.

"Alé, what is this?" he asked pulling the crystal out.

"In my line of work, you do many things… One is making charms and talismans. That is to help with your pain and to keep the memory of Ryo alive…" she hopped down and took it from him and tied it around his neck. "Never forget my little brother or his love for you, Ken…" she whispered as she kissed his forehead.

"But I need to know if loving Dai is a good thing…" Ken said looking at her as she reached in her bag and tossed him another small box.

"I am going to teach you how to use them tonight… It will help you understand.." she pulled out a deck of cards from the bag as well and sat across from Ken. "Go ahead open it…" Ken did so and pulled out a tarot deck. "As a medium, you could use this to talk with spirits… You don't have that gift. So there is a little book that will tell you what each card means, you need to memorize that… you won't have a problem… this is the spread, or layout, that I use. The Celtic Cross…it's like this…" She demonstrated. "According to the cards, your heart will go through great change…Emotions will be confusing and frustrating… The key to understanding them is your protector…"

"Ryo's gone."

"Ken, just because Ryo's dead doesn't mean he's really gone! Believe me Ken! If Ryo were really truly gone would I still be able to talk to you now? You know that you and Ryo are the only reasons I stayed here in Japan. Otherwise I would have left when my parents cast me out!" she told him in low tones. "Now, Daisuke wants to care for you but he's afraid of losing you completely. He's already fallen in love with you, he just doesn't understand how deep it runs. You think you are falling in love with him, think and falling. You don't know how far your feelings will go either. You two just need to talk and such… You need to care for each other.. I see good things in your future together… And Ryo says he's a good choice for you…"

"I love Ryo so much…. How can I move on so quickly?" Ken asked his grip on the cards tightening a moment.

"You have to take it slow… but let Daisuke help you with the pain… He wants you to be happy, just like Ryo. He wants to take your pain away just like Ryo.. I see a lot of Ryo in Daisuke… I think that is why you match up so well…" she explained picking up the cards.

"You're going to meet Daisuke aren't you?" Ken asked as she put her things in her bag again.

"Yes," she said as she nodded. "I'm also moving in near here… Myself, on my own. Well, minus the spirits that seem to follow me.. Ryo's looking over you right now, Ken."

"I can tell that.. I have this feeling that he's standing over me with his hands on my shoulders. Like when he brought me to you after Osamu died," Ken said with a sad gleam in his eyes.

"I remember that… Osamu said to tell you that he's proud of you for defeating the darkness Ken… And he's sorry.. He could see the flaws of himself in you when you were the Kaizer…. He wouldn't let me out of my trance until I promised to tell you that…"

"Osamu always wanted to get what he wanted…" Ken said with a yawn.

"Get into bed, little one…" she said with a smile. "I will see you soon. I promise." Ken smiled and climbed into his bed. Alexandra pulled the blanket up over him and kissed his forehead.

"Alé… what should I call you now?" he asked.

"Alé is fine.. or Alex.. Just not Alexandra…" she replied, tucking the bedclothes tightly around him.

"Alex then… I'd call you Lex, but you aren't an evil millionaire who lives in Metropolis…" Alex laughed a bit.

"I'll leave my address and number on the table… Tell me if you need anything," Alex told him as she climbed down.

"Goodnight Alé," Ken yawned as he fell asleep.

"Goodnight little one… Sleep well…" Alex glanced back up to Ken as she walked towards the door. She saw Ryo lying by him. She'd gotten used to seeing ghosts but well, seeing her brother brought tears to her eyes. "Watch him well Ryo.. Tell him it's okay. He has to know from you it's okay to move on…" Alex left Ken's room and the Ichijouji apartment and headed for her own.