Digimon Fan Fiction ❯ Untitled ❯ Invisible Tears ( Chapter 5 )

[ Y - Young Adult: Not suitable for readers under 16 ]

Disclaimers: I. Dont. Own. It.



Louise: Did anyone notice in the last chapter that Ken's parents didn't seem to have jobs? ^___^

Hyb: ... Umm, forget about that. Anyways, I had to use swear words in this chapter a bit. I was trying my hardest
not to throughout the whole thing, but it is so hard >____<

Louise: Plus, at the start it kinda explains the whole Ken and Kai thing. Which is a little late, Hyb.




Invisible Tears

[shounen ai] [twt] [angst] [PoV- both Ken and Kai's] [language]


***


I remember when mama first brought Kai home. It was very weird to see an old enemy from the Digital World in my own apartment, let alone find out he's my new brother!

He had a glazed-over look on his face for a very long time. Like he was detatching his mind from everything going on and not really paying attention because he didn't want to be here. Kind of like when Daisuke gets bored in class and stares at things around the room, and nearly starts drooling because he's bored, unimpressed, and maybe sometimes even unhappy.

Sam and I had shared a room, so I figured right off that I'd have to share again with Kai. This stranger - previous 'Emporer' of the Digital World - would be able to route through my stuff and ruin things like he probably wanted to.

After we had defeated him, I guess he found his way to the real world - and an orphanage. The people working there had probably told mama about his extremely high IQ - which we digidestined knew about because he used big words alot, thankfully not so much anymore - so despite the other things they would have said, like 'he's a monster', she still adopted him.

He was very quiet and well-behaved for a while, but I knew that wouldn't last because he couldn't stand being nice and it was written all over his face. He liked papa most out of all of us, and hated mama because she gave him the most attention for the first few weeks. After about a month he got comfortable enough with us that he didn't have any problems insulting us and started acting like his normal, mean self. It's been a year since, which would make us both fifteen.

I'm curious about his family sometimes, and no one seems to notice we look alot alike. Atleast, not mama or papa anyway. He can't even remember how he got to the Digital World or when. He seems to think he might have been born there.

Kai's first Digimon was Prairiemon, which is just a digivolution of patamon with the DigiEgg of Kindness, but it was killed a year ago. I've told him Digimon never really die, but I think he's ok with it all. Sometimes he seems jealous of me and Wormmon though, but now that the digidestined don't work as much as we used to, those times have become less frequent.



When I wake up I feel cold. I open my confused eyes and look around the room for Kai.

He isn't here.

It'd dark outside, which I can tell from the window and my nearby clock radio flashes six pm - papa should be making dinner. The thought of food makes me realize I'm hungry so I get up, cautious of my stiff muscles, and head to the kitchen.

"Where's Kai?" I ask yawning and taking a look at the rice. I guess mama really *hadn't* come back yet.

"Wasn't he in your room?" he asks back - it's been a year and it's still considered *my* room - and stops his cooking to see me shake my head. He frowns. "Kai?" he yells and waits ten seconds. No answer.

My own face follows in his frown. Where could Kai have gone between one and six? Alot of places.

...But there is only *one* place he'd ever waste his time on.

I make a dash to the door shouting something about parks and grab my jacket. Kai's is gone so either he finally burned it once and for all or he actually took it with him.

I walk down the hall and board the elevator. When I reach the bottom floor I decide walking is going to be too slow and break into a run.



The moon is beautiful tonight, especially the way it reflects off the water like that. That sentence alone sounded stupid and foreign to my ears. It's not like me to be so observant. But I know why I'm starting to change. Because I love him.

I love Ken.

I don't think he knows it yet, though. Hell, he might not even feel the same way! But I know him better than to believe that for a second - he loves me and without words he can express it so easily.

Unlike myself, but I'm learning. In the past two weeks I've had my first hug, first kiss, first...

I think about my mother for a momment, then. I shouldn't be surprised one of them is homophobic, but now I'm curious why the principal had decided to tell my mother about the kind of mean things they were calling me.

[Plot Hole! Buahahahaha!!!]

I can come off as an untouchable beast to anyone, but that little group of boys had almost beat me up twice now. How they pinned me as gay I can only guess. I've never shown my liking - loving - for Ken in public before, and he's the only person I've ever felt anything for, and it's not like I can possibly 'act gay' without doing that. I don't know if I would even classify myself as gay when I've never felt attracted to anyone but him, if Ken was a girl I'd still love him. So a safe assumption would be that they just didn't like me - in that idiotic way that has no justification whatsoever - and needed names to call me.

I feel like the term 'gay' is a horribly battered and misused word now because it is most normally used as a hurtful term towards someone by someone who's homophobic, or often loosely used inplace of a word like 'dumb'. For example, 'Man, that apple is so gay.', when an inanimate object is not capable of being gay or having feelings period.

I laugh out loud to lighten the mood and sit down on the long park bridge I had been standing on for awhile.

Then I hear footsteps on the hard wood. They're soft and steady, coming towards me.

I tense up at the sudden noise at first and sit up straight, but don't bother looking up from the small creek beneath me.

"Kaiser..." I hear my full name mumbled roughly from just above me. That was not Ken's voice. No, it sounded more like the voice of the kid who'd beaten me up. I think his name was Andy.

"I'm really *not* in the mood for another beating today," I say hoarsly and hope he'll go away. Atleast he isn't with his friends. He probably knows I can kick his ass easily without them around.

Light fingertips trace the back of my neck, causing me to shiver and he laughs softly. "That's not why I'm here," he whispers into my ear.

I turn around nervously, and angry that someone besided Ken has invaded my personal space. "What the fuck do you want?" I bark and back away a bit.

"You," he purrs and leans over me. His strong body pushes me back, nearly causing me to be laying on the bridge with him ontop, and he crushes his lips to mine. I can't pull away because his hands are forcefully holding my body and head inplace.

Then I hear more footsteps on the bridge which shocks me even more than I already am, if that's at all possible.

"Kai?" I hear a timid voice ask and devastation hits me like an atomic bomb. It's Ken.

By the time I manage to punch Andy and get him off me, Ken has already ran off. I stare hopelessly in his general direction, crying invisible tears that had died with my childhood.

"Tell anyone about this, Ichijouji, and we'll beat you up again," Andy growls, holding his bloody nose and runs off in the opposite direction he came.

I barely notice. I've hurt Ken. He'll never believe that the biggest known homophobic kid in Odaiba had forced me to kiss him tonight.

Why was everything always ending up in flames with me? Why did I always fuck everything up and *why* was life so shitty?

My poor, innoccent Ken is hurting - the emotions I feel from him, mixed with my own, which consist of guilt, anger, and utter sadness, hurt like a slow death - and it's all my fault.

But there is always, and forever will be, hope so I get up and run after Ken as fast as I can.

My heart is breaking because his is.



He's catching up to me, I know it. But I will not let him out run me. There's no time for thinking, I need to get home.

I burst through the door, not bothering to shut it because I know Kai will be through it any second, and dart past papa to my room.

"Ken?" I hear him ask confused, but ignore it.

I curse my door for not having a lock and storm up to my bed. There's no way of avoiding Kai at all, he's a persistant little bitch, but maybe if I can manage to fall asleep in thirty seconds he'll leave me alone.

No such luck.

What the hell happened on that bridge? And more importantly, *why*? Didn't Kai care about me at all? It's not like I was his sex toy, someone he used, or anything so what was I to him if he was kissing someone at the park?

I can tell he's hurting, but I convince myself bitterly that it's just guilt he's feeling. Not a smart idea to make myself feel worse, but it's better than thinking anything else just so I can be rejected and hurt further, later.

I hate Kai... No, thats not true. I love him, but I hate what he di-- did I just say love? Whoa.

I sit up and rub my head. Then Kai bursts in.

"Ken," he shouts, "that wasn't what you thought it was." He looks distressed, frantic and nervous even, and he walks over to the bunk bed after closing the door.

"I don't want to talk to you," I grumble and turn away. He climbs up to my bed and holds my shoulders towards himself so I have to look at him, though.

Persistant bitch.

"Ken, listen to me," he says softly, "I would never do anything to hurt you. I'd kill myself before willingly cause you pain."

Looking into his eyes, I know he means it. Those were strong, meaningful words, but they don't explain the bridge.

"I was sitting on the bridge when Andy came along and kissed me. The stupid bastard's stronger than I thought," he grumbles and lets go of me. He reaches up slowly, cautious, and brushes dark blue hair from my eyes. My hand moves up to do the same, mirroring his actions. "Can you forgive me?" he asks quietly.

I nod slowly and pull him into my lap. "It wasn't your fault."

Kai makes an incredibly cute, happy little noise and hugs me, kissing my cheek and nose and jaw line. Then he pauses. "How did you know where I was?"

I smile and kiss his forhead. "Lucky guess?"

He laughs and rolls down to the mattress so that I'm on top of him. "I love you," he says giggling and then his eyes widen at the realization of what he's just said.

"Kai..." I say softly, shocked myself by those unexpected words. If he really meant it, this had to be the worst and best day of my life. And if not... then this would definately be the worst.

"I'm sorry," he says and all my hopes are crushed, "but I can't help it. I love you, Ken."

I really should let people finnish before I jump to conclusions. "I love you, Kai," I say back, grinning out of pure happiness, and kiss his lips.

He wraps his arms around my back and waist and thrusts his hips up lightly, showing me just how happy *he* is.


***


Hyb: Didn't want to end it there, but I had to. Ran out of pages in my note book. So the next chapter should be a
pwp lemon or something along those lines.

Louise: It damn well better be ^___^