Digimon Fan Fiction ❯ Who I Am ❯ Who I Am ( Chapter 1 )

Warnings: Yaoi, language, angsty memories, pure fluffiness and lemony flavored. ^-^ And when I say fluff, I mean fluff…you might want to brush your teeth and floss after reading this…

Author's Note: *sighs* Another futile attempt at a one-shot songfic. Once again, I have failed miserably. There are a couple of songs in it - but I would in no way presume to call this a 'songfic.'

Ugh. *bangs head on wall*

Like I did for A Wolf's Tale, this one-shot will be like an addendum to Only You (which could use some more reviews, hint hint) and this time, I'm posting it separately. I guess this could be construed as a sequel…Okay, before I confuse us all, I'll just shut up now and get on with it…how's that? :p

Disclaimer: Nope. I'm not rich. Therefore, I don't own Digimon (who knows who does anymore!) nor the songs Iris by the Goo Goo Dolls, or I'll Be by Edwin McCain (they do, obviously).

Summary: Okay, I couldn't keep my mouth shut. Sorry. This is, yes, another Matt/Tai (Yamato/Taichi) fic. However, mine goes along with Only You and I suppose you could call this a sequel…kinda. I'll just say that Matt, when he starts playing his music again and having concerts, has a little something special he plans for Tai on their first anniversary. ^-^ Kawaii!

Caitlin: Yes, my yami, Kali, is on a sugar high. Why do you ask? O_o

Kali: I'll get you for that, hikari! glowers.

Zoe: purrs. Humans… -_-U

Pairings: As if you didn't already know…Yamachi! *squeals* Oh, and following Only You, DaiKen, Takari, Sora/Yolei, and Joe/Mimi.

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Who I am

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Summer hit like an inferno. Waves of heat rose off every surface outside in the blazing sunshine. Ice cream sales rocketed and the demand for sunscreen rose exponentially as the weather reporters claimed there was no end of the heat wave in sight.

Considering it was so hot out, Matt and Tai had opted to remain indoors with the air conditioning cranked, for which their Digimon partners - Gabumon in particular - were extremely grateful.

At that moment in time, said Digimon were engaged in a friendly video game battle. Matt was sprawled on his back on the couch and chewing on a pencil in concentration as he read and re-read the lyrics for a song he was writing. Tai was sitting on the floor with the Digimon, back to the couch, talking to Davis on the phone.

"Davis, it's too damn hot out to be chasing around a soccer ball! We'd get heat stroke in about two minutes!"

"But I'm so bored!" Davis whined and Tai grinned, hearing the pout in his younger friend's voice.

"Why don't you go over to Ken's and seduce him or something? You two can't keep your hands off each other most of the time anyway."

"Hmph. Like you and Matt are any better!" Davis retorted. "Besides, I already called Ken and he's got his nose in some book for one of those summer college courses he's taking."

"Davis, do I really have to tell you to just go over there and drag his nose out of that book?"

"I don't want to get in his way! You know how important his classes are to him."

Tai sighed in exasperation and Matt looked at him with a raised eyebrow in question. Tai placed his hand over the mouthpiece and said, "Davis wants to go play soccer."

"He's nuts. Tell him to relax in front of the air conditioner."

"Don't you think I've tried that?"

"Gimme!" Matt grabbed the phone from Tai. "Davis? Just go over to Ken's and interrupt him. Knowing him, he's probably been studying since he woke up this morning. He needs a break."

"But…"

"No buts! If you don't make him take a break, he probably won't take one and that won't help him with his studying, right?"

Matt's logic took a moment to sink in and Davis finally said, "Okay. You're right. I'll go right now. Thanks Matt!" And he hung up.

Matt tossed the phone back to Tai.

"Damn. You're good!" Tai smiled up at him. "I don't know if I could have gotten rid of him like that."

"Nah. You'd have come up with something eventually." Matt smiled back, blue eyes sparkling. Tai got up and sat on Matt, kneeling with one leg near Matt's hip and the other falling off the side of the couch. He leaned down and hovered just above the blonde.

"We should do something special for our anniversary, Yama." Tai twirled a lock of that blonde hair around one finger. "During the day I mean. Then we'll go to your concert."

Matt ran his hands over Tai's sides and slid them back to grasp his butt firmly. "It will be special, babe. I promise." He leaned up a little and brushed a light kiss over Tai's mouth and watched Tai's chocolate brown eyes go soft.

"You're planning something aren't you?" Tai asked, shivering as one of Matt's hands snuck under his waistband to stroke bare skin. "Ah…Yama." He buried his face in Matt's shoulder.

"Maybe." Matt gasped a little when Tai shifted his hips into his own. "Come here."

Tai's eager mouth came down on Matt's and they kissed passionately tongues stroking and twining, hands roaming and working to drive each other wild.

Things might have gotten really interesting if the doorbell hadn't interrupted them.

"Uhn." Tai groaned. "Remind me why we gave out our address to everyone?" He looked up from Matt's chest.

Matt chuckled, fingers still buried in Tai's wild hair, shirt wide open exposing his bare chest and stomach. "Because they're all our friends and family and we love them?"

"Oh. Right."

Someone banged on the door again and yelled, "Will one of you answer the door already? We know you're home, Matt!"

Tai reluctantly crawled off his now extremely rumpled, but even sexier boyfriend and stalked to the door.

"What?" He snarled, throwing the door open. "We were in the middle of something, TK."

TK raised one eyebrow and smirked. "I can see that. Kari and I are making a special delivery from your Mom, Tai."

Kari giggled at her ruffled older brother. "She thinks you're not eating enough so she made me bring some stuff over to you." She held up the huge bag she carried.

Tai made a face but moved aside to let them in. "Ever since Yama and I moved in here she thinks I don't eat enough. For heaven's sake I eat more now then I ever did at home!" He took the bag from his sister and went into the kitchen.

Matt strolled in, buttoning up his shirt - again - and shooting a questioning glance at the bag.

"Mom thinks I'm not eating enough." Tai rolled his eyes and leaned into Matt when the Child of Friendship wrapped his arms around Tai's waist and rested his chin on Tai's shoulder.

"Think it's safe to eat?" He asked, knowing full well the sort of cooking Tai's mom was capable of.

"I don't know."

"Hey, Matt. Since we're here, do you want to give Kari and I those backstage passes for everyone for your concert?" TK asked, smiling at his brother.

Matt gestured at a white envelope on the counter. "Right there. You going to go deliver them today?"

"Sure!" Kari picked up the envelope and peeked inside. "TK and I haven't got much else to do today anyway."

"Thanks, little sis." Tai gave her his usual grin. "I can't believe the concert's a week away already!"

Matt grunted. "It's been a year since we had a major one like this, babe. Luckily, our manager says that it'll make this concert bigger and better because it's been so long."

"Well, we ought to get going if we're going to get those passes to everyone today." TK and Kari went to the door. "See you guys later!"

"Bye Kari! Bye TK!"

"See ya!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

TK glanced at Kari as they rode the elevator to the main floor of the apartment complex. "What are you thinking about?"

She looked up at him and gave him a soft smile. "I'm just so glad Tai's well."

TK nodded, pulling her into his arms. "Yeah. Me too, Kari."

They were both remembering a time when they'd nearly lost Tai.

It had been a year ago that the fateful 'Fight' had occurred between the Children of Courage and Friendship in the Digital World. A year ago that Tai had tried to kill himself and in the process, lost his voice. All because he'd believed he had lost the one person he loved beyond all reason - Matt.

But with a little help and gentle encouragement from his sister, TK and Ken, Tai had come back to himself. He was determined to go on living, even if it meant not having Matt at his side anymore - friend or anything else.

They were also remembering how horrified and grief stricken Matt had been at the time - and guilty. He felt so badly and blamed himself so much that he'd stopped playing his music and singing.

"The world had lost your voice. I'd lost your voice. So it was only fair that I, and the world, lost my voice, too." Those were the words Matt had told Tai the night everything came together the way it was supposed to be. The two had told their siblings all about that night sometime later, and not long after that Matt and his band got a record deal. With the advance on the royalties, Matt and Tai had moved into a place of their own.

That had all been a year ago, and they'd been ridiculously happy ever since.

"Do you think Tai suspects what Matt's got in store for him at the concert, TK?" Kari asked, walking hand in hand with him out the lobby doors.

"No. I don't think he has a clue." TK grinned.

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A week passed by quickly. Tai and Matt spent most of the day in bed and enjoying each other's presence. Then Matt had to go to the concert hall and rehearse with his band for that night's concert.

While Matt was there, Tai went over to his parents' to visit and spend time with Kari until it was time to go to the concert.

The group of Chosen Children (and their Digimon partners) gathered at Kari's and they all trooped down to the concert hall together.

The concert was a huge success. Matt and his band played nearly their entire repertoire that night for their adoring, screaming fans. The Digidestined listened from their special place backstage cheering Matt on. He sang his heart out that night.

But they couldn't play all night and so the concert was rapidly coming to an end.

Matt grabbed his microphone and said to the crowd, "Are you all having a great time?" He got deafening screams and cheers as his answer. "That's what we like to hear. We have two more songs for you, and you," he waved a hand over the crowded room, "Are the first to hear these songs." Matt exchanged grins and nods with his band before gazing out over the excited crowd. "I wrote these for someone very special.

"This first song is called Iris. (A/N: I'm pretending Matt wrote the songs, okay? Get off my back lawyers! I know he didn't. My fic - my rules! See disclaimer!) It's reminiscent of something that happened to my best friend and I a year ago today." He looked over to the group of his friends and stared directly into Tai's eyes for a moment.

Tai shivered and returned the look, a soft smile crossing his features as the band began to play and Matt's voice rang out - pure, clear, and full of emotion.

And I give up forever to touch you

'Cause I know that you feel me somehow

You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be

And I don't want to go home right now

And all I can taste is this moment

And all I can breathe is your life

And sooner or later it's over

I just don't wanna miss you tonight

Chorus:

And I don't want the world to see me

'Cause I don't think that they'd understand

When everything's made to be broken

I just want you to know who I am

And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming

Or the moment of truth in your lies

When everything feels like the movies

And you bleed just to know you're alive

Chorus:

And I don't want the world to see me

'Cause I don't think that they'd understand

When everything's made to be broken

I just want you to know who I am.

As the last strains sounded, Tai could feel tears running down his cheeks. He wanted nothing more than to throw himself into Matt's arms and sob like a baby at that moment. That song had invoked so many memories - not all of them pleasant.

Tai blinked away tears as Kari took up one of his hands and leaned into him and TK took his other hand, gripping it firmly. They, too, had tears running down their cheeks - in fact all the Chosen did. The Digimon were sniffling, too.

There were cheers and yells of appreciation from the audience. Matt took a moment to collect himself and take a much needed gulp of water from a bottle some kind stage hand had brought him. Then he exchanged his electric guitar for an acoustic one before sitting on a stool in front of his mike and another, smaller one for his guitar.

"I'd like to end things tonight with this one last song." His voice was soft and a little rough. Tai could hear the tears in it and knew Matt had suffered as he had with the memories.

"While Iris is about the past, this song, I'll Be, is about the present and for the future." Matt closed his eyes and began to play, the band following his lead.

The strands in your eyes that color them wonderful

Stop me and steal my breath

Emeralds from mountains thrust towards the sky

Never revealing their depth

Tell me that we belong together

Dress it up in the trappings of love

I'll be captivated, I'll hang from your lips

Instead of the gallows of heartache that hang from above

Chorus:

I'll be your cryin' shoulder

I'll be love suicide

I'll be better when I'm older

I'll be the greatest fan of your life

Rain falls angry on the tin roof

As we lie awake in my bed

You're my survival, you're my living proof

My love is alive and not dead

Tell me that we belong together

Dress it up in the trappings of love

I'll be captivated, I'll hang from your lips

Instead of the gallows of heartache that hang from above

Chorus:

I'll be your cryin' shoulder

I'll be love suicide

I'll be better when I'm older

I'll be the greatest fan of your life

I've dropped out, burned up, fought my way back from the dead

Tuned in, turned on, remembered the thing that you said

Chorus:

I'll be your cryin' shoulder

I'll be love suicide

I'll be better when I'm older

I'll be the greatest fan of your life

There was a moment of silence before the audience erupted into a cacophony of cheering, screaming, yelling, whistles and applause.

Matt and his band took their bows and waved at their fans as the spotlights faded and the stage went dark.

The Chosen on the sidelines melted away from the backstage area and went outside to wait for Matt.

Twenty minutes later he emerged from the hall, tired and physically worn out, but elated. He stopped and put down his guitar case just in time to catch Tai, who had, in a flying leap, launched himself at his lover and burst into tears.

Matt banded his arms around Tai tightly, since he was clinging like a monkey and had wrapped his legs around Matt's waist.

"I love you." Matt breathed into his ear, his own tears flowing freely. "I promised I'd never stop saying it and I'm sticking to it." Matt nuzzled Tai's neck.

"Oh God, Yama!" Tai whimpered and began raining kisses over Matt's face. "I love you so much…" They shared one long, passionate, loving kiss before slowly breaking apart. Matt put Tai down but didn't let go of him, snaking an arm around his waist and keeping Tai close.

They faced their close-knit group of friends - Digimon and human.

"There's only one thing we could possibly say, Matt." TK grinned at them, Kari in his arms.

Davis nodded his agreement. "That was the best concert EVER!" He stated.

Ken gave his lover a quick kiss on the mouth before saying, "That too. Happy Anniversary you two."

Everyone else chorused, "Happy Anniversary!"

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By the time they got home, it was very late - nearly three in the morning. Matt and Tai had gotten dragged over to TK's for an anniversary party for them and for Davis and Ken (whose anniversary was the day after theirs).

"Oh man. I'm so tired!" Matt collapsed on the couch and leaned his head back, eyes sliding shut. Gabumon and Agumon had opted to stay the night at TK's and so it was just the happy couple in the apartment that night.

"Don't you dare fall asleep on me, Yama." Tai yelled from…somewhere. Matt opened his eyes and looked around thinking that Tai had been right behind him when he went into the living room.

"Where are you?" He called.

"Bedroom!"

Matt grinned and got up, sauntering into their bedroom and stopping just inside the door to admire the view.

Tai was half in, half out of the closet, bent over at the waist and apparently digging around for something, his butt in the air and wriggling with his movements - much to Matt's interest and amusement - especially when Tai was wearing one of many pairs of track pants that he usually wore to soccer practices.

Matt loved those pants.

"Damn! I know it's here somewhere!" Tai was muttering to himself as he rooted around. "Shit! Where is it?"

"What are you looking for?" Matt asked, unconsciously licking his lips as Tai bent over even further.

"Uh…something…" Came the response. "It's in here. I just…can't remember where exactly I…Ah ha!"

Tai turned triumphantly and hid whatever it was behind his back before Matt even caught a glimpse of it. "Go sit on the bed, Yama." He instructed.

Curious, Matt complied. "What are you up to, babe?"

Tai came over and knelt down on the floor in front of Matt. "Well, I wanted to give you your anniversary present, Yama. I'm afraid I can't top those songs tonight…" He stared up into Matt's vivid blue eyes. "Especially all those things you were saying you would be in that last song."

Matt laid the palm of his hand on Tai's cheek and Tai turned his head to brush his lips over it. "I know you, Tai. You've never needed words to tell me anything."

"Maybe. But this time I actually know what to say and how to say it." Tai brought his hand out from behind his back, revealing a long black velvet case. He held it out to Matt.

"Tai…" Matt opened the case and gasped a little at the contents of the case. "God, Tai, they're beautiful!"

Inside were two thin gold chain necklaces and two simple platinum bands. With slightly shaking hands, Matt took out the two rings.

"Here." Tai took one ring and inspected it. "This one's yours. See? I had it inscribed."

"'Yours forever, Tai.'" Matt whispered, reading it.

"Yeah. And mine says 'Yours forever, Yama' on it." Tai slid the ring onto Matt's finger with trembling hands. "The chains are for when we need to take the rings off and don't want to just leave them somewhere - like when you're playing a gig or I'm at soccer practice or something." Tai blinked when Matt grabbed his hand and slid the other ring home.

"You still don't have to say anything, Tai." Matt pulled Tai up off the floor and down onto his lap. "Apparently I don't have to either since you knew what I'd have engraved on those rings if I'd gotten them."

Tai stared at him. "What do you mean?"

"I'm yours, Tai. Always." Matt kissed him hard. "I love you beyond all reason, Yagami Taichi."

"I love you right back, Ishida Yamato. And you know what? I am exactly who I am - yours." Tai grinned and slid a hand under Matt's shirt, stroking his abdomen just above Matt's waistband.

"Damn straight." Matt responded, carefully setting the case on the bedside table before tossing Tai back on the bed and crawling over him, hovering seductively just close enough for their body heat to mingle and merge.

Tai's eyes lit up and Matt had to laugh at the wicked gleam there. "You're downright insatiable aren't you?"

"No more than you, Yama." Tai worked Matt's shirt up and over his head, tossing it to the side carelessly. "Besides, I want that gorgeous body of yours naked and now." His hands busied themselves with Matt's belt.

Groaning at the heat spreading through his body at Tai's touch, Matt unbuttoned Tai's shirt and spread it open, dropping his head to let his mouth and tongue feast on the golden skin lain out before him, trapping Tai's hands between them and making Tai arch beneath Matt with a loud moan.

"Please! Yama, don't tease me…" Tai managed to free his hands and Matt sat back long enough for Tai to sit up and completely remove his shirt. When he made a move to take off his track pants and underwear, however, Matt lightly smacked his hands and growled, "Mine!"

Tai let out a frustrated whimper and Matt attached himself to his lover's neck and shoulder, lightly running his fingertips over Tai's sides and making him squirm.

"Impatient and eager, aren't we?" Matt purred, moving his questing mouth lower to suck on a pert nipple. Tai hissed and his hands came up to run his fingers through Matt's mass of blonde hair, urging him to go lower.

"Uhn…damn it, Yama!" Tai moaned. "I need you so bad…please?" Matt's tongue dipped into his navel and Tai's hips came up off the bed in demand.

"Oh no…I want to taste every inch of you, babe." Matt rolled his now smoky blue eyes up at Tai and smirked. "But since these clothes are in my way…" He grasped the track pants firmly and ripped them away (which they are, thankfully, made to do). "You wore those on purpose, didn't you? You know how much seeing you in them turns me on."

Tai's chocolate brown eyes were warm and he just gave Matt a goofy grin. "Duh. Did it work?"

"I had a hard time keeping my hands off you at TK's tonight." Matt placed a kiss on the inside of Tai's thigh and grasped the waistband of Tai's underwear, slowly pulling it down. "I probably would have molested you in the hall closet - if Davis hadn't dragged Ken in there first." He threw the underwear over his shoulder, not caring where it landed.

Tai's laugh came out on a gasp at his suddenly freed erection. "You're way over-dressed, Yama."

"You've got a point." Matt got up for a moment and quickly removed his clothes before returning to Tai and covering him with his body. "Oh yes…much better…" He propped himself up on his forearms and let his mouth descend on Tai's. Tai's hands reached up and he buried his fingers in Matt's glorious blonde hair, slipping the silky strands through them and grasping Matt's head to hold him in place as their kiss turned desperate and their tongues dueled and stroked one another.

Tai couldn't stand it much longer. Even though they'd had little foreplay this time, he was so hot and needy that he didn't care. Wrapping his legs around Matt's waist, he panted, "Now, Yama! Hard and fast…we can play later!"

Matt shuddered and moved away from the spot where Tai's neck and shoulder met, where he'd been savoring the taste of Tai's skin, and stared down into his melting brown gaze. "I can't take you without lube, Tai. I'd hurt you."

"No, you won't! Please." Tai thrust his hips up a little and Matt gasped. "Yama, please! Fuck me!"

Matt shivered again then maneuvered a little until he was poised at Tai's entrance. "Are you sure? I don't want to hurt you…"

"Do it…"

Matt thrust forward, impaling his lover in one stroke. Tai threw back his head and yelled, whatever pain he may have felt lost to the wave of pure pleasure sweeping over him. Clutching his lover's shoulders, he locked his ankles together at Matt's back, which only served to force Matt deeper. Matt had stopped moving, eyes tightly shut and jaw locked with the effort to keep himself from simply pounding into the Child of Courage.

"Fuck yes!" Tai moaned. "Don't stop, Yama…" He wriggled a bit and Matt cried out sharply, before taking the hint and thrusting once again. He continued to move, slowly and carefully until Tai got frustrated and yanked a little roughly on his hair. Matt's eyes snapped open and Tai saw the barely leashed desire in those stormy orbs and the control he was exerting. "Let go, Yama. I'm not a fragile doll! Whatever you've got, I can handle." Tai watched those eyes narrow and he kissed Matt hard, then bit down gently on Matt's bottom lip. He saw the Child of Friendship's control snap and with a snarl, Matt crushed his mouth to Tai's in a kiss so hard and deep it was as if he was trying to devour Tai whole. Matt pinned Tai to the bed with his body and grabbed both of Tai's hands, drawing them up above their heads, fingers entwining and gripping so hard their knuckles turned white. Matt tore his mouth from Tai's long enough to moan, "I love you!" Before taking Tai hard and fast, over and over again.

Tai made little sounds of intense pleasure and satisfaction, driving Matt even wilder. Tai gasped in air and cried out again and again, feeling his orgasm approaching fast. This was what he had been wanting. This unrestrained passion from his Yama, because it affirmed his identity to himself. Just as that shining abyss closed over him, he heard Matt's possessive growl.

"My Tai!"

Tai plunged over the edge and came almost violently, his near-scream of completion muffled by Matt's mouth. He vaguely felt Matt follow him into oblivion, though he did feel and see Matt's body shudder and tremble above him. Matt's own cries of ecstasy drowned in Tai's mouth.

Tai freed his hands from Matt's grip and wrapped his arms securely around his shoulders, hugging him close. Unable to control his leg muscles anymore, though, he let them fall bonelessly to either side of their bodies and Matt collapsed half on, half off of Tai, burying his face in Tai's neck, still buried deep within his beloved goggle head since he didn't have the energy to pull away. Besides, it was comfortable there and it felt so right that he almost didn't want to move.

Tai smiled lazily and twirled a lock of blonde hair with one finger, eyes drooping slightly. Who am I? He asked himself. Tai whispered the answer in Matt's ear. "I am yours, Yama. I love you."

Matt smiled and moved his head, pressing his mouth to Tai's gently. "Always, babe."

Tai's grin was like the sun coming up. The two lovers curled up together and let sleep overtake them.

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FIN

Kali: Geez. That's got to be the fluffiest fic we've ever written!

Caitlin: So? It is kind of a milestone, after all. This will be our 10th posted fic!

Zoe: purrs. But you said you really, really, really liked Yamachi fluff!

Kali & Caitlin: chorus. We do!

Zoe: purrs. Then quit complaining! R/R!

Kali: And go read Only You if you haven't already! R/R that too!

Caitlin: If you liked this one-shot, try Kali's Beyblade one-shot Safe. She's quite proud of it and disappointed it's got so few reviews.

Zoe: purrs. Hell, go read any of their fics you haven't read yet and R/R! If for no other reason than to get them to stop complaining…

Kali & Caitlin: HEY! -_-U