<center>-=* Ch. 8 *=-</center>

Daisuke woke up feeling empty inside, lying flat on his back. He opened his eyes slowly, trying to understand the strange room. It was early afternoon, it seemed by the way the light was shafting inside of the room.

~What happened?~ he thought tiredly, confused and sore all over.

~Ken…is Ken alright?~

He must have made a sound, because something rustled just out of his view. Daisuke struggled to move without pain, to turn his head, even though it was trying to split itself apart and hide under his pillow, it seemed.

Takeru's fair and pale face moved into his vision, and Daisuke froze. ~Something's wrong,~ his mind stated immediately. "TK…wh' happened?" he managed to rasp.

The blond didn't say a word, merely held up a glass of cool water to the boy's lips and helped him drink.

"Takeru…?"

The Child of Hope looked away. "You feeling any better?" he asked instead.

Daisuke struggled to his elbows, the empty cold feeling inside eating at him. "What happened!?" he repeated in a low insistent voice. Of its own accord, his left hand shot out and grasped TK by the shoulder, clutching hard.

When the boy looked at him, the blue eyes that were usually so expressive were blank and cold, and somehow lit with a faint glee. "The Kaizer's dead. Caught in an explosion from his own twisted creation."

The air struck from his lungs, Daisuke struggled to compute the information, struggled not to scream and strike the laughter, the <i>victory</i> from Takeru's eyes. "No…" he wheezed.

"You fell from the Airdramon, remember? You hit pretty hard, haven't been conscious since."

Daisuke looked around frantically, noting the cool pastel walls, the crisp sheets and the starched quality. He was in a hospital. ~…no…oh no…nononono….~ "He's really dead?" he focused on the bit of information, as if repeating it would change the truth, or make TK say "just kidding."

"…Yes…"

Daisuke dropped his hand, feeling numb, and fell back into the sheets with a soft sigh of defeat. "Then get out," he said in a monotone, and turned his head away. He missed the stricken look on TK's face, the pain that mimicked his own and at the same time mocked him.

~…dead…~ he thought, feeling like he was falling backwards off of a cliff, the sinking feeling making it hard to breathe. ~…Ken…~

<center><i>~Kiss the rain

Whenever you need me

Kiss the rain

Whenever I'm gone too long~</i>

~</center>

It was two days before Daisuke would speak. During the nights he spent in the hospital, with Takeru usually sitting guard, he would wake up screaming about something, inconsolable.

Naturally, Takeru assumed that Daisuke had been dreaming about the Kaizer torturing him. He had no idea of the correlations between Daisuke's dreams and the death of the Kaizer, no idea that the mere idea of the Kaizer being dead was haunting Daisuke into insanity.

Without Ken, Daisuke couldn't seem to function.

The rest of the team wasn't so inclined to visit. Miyako, it seemed, was still miffed about Daisuke doing <i>something</i> wrong, and hadn't spoken since those last venomous words since the battle. Iori was much the same, only stopping once out of courtesy, and even then, the boy didn't bother looking at him.

Hikari was the only one, now, that even tried to make him laugh. Taichi and Yamato, despite their best efforts, were helpless to crack the shell that Daisuke had wrapped around himself in his grief. They knew, and understood the reasons.

At least, they knew a lot more than the others did, or guessed. Tai was good at guessing. But they were unable to reach him.

After the two days in the hospital, after he had finally answered Kari's question if he had ever wanted to go home, he was sitting in his room, staring out of the window into the thunderstorm that was drenching the people outside.

Daisuke felt strangely in tune with the thunder. The lightening snaps didn't startle him, the thunder seemed to invigorate him. The color of the clouds was soothing…a deep roiling black-purplish.

But it didn't stem the flow of pain he constantly felt. It didn't stop the hurt. It didn't stop him from thinking, of wishing, of crying as the storm broke into a higher level and began to downpour instead of just rain on the people outside.

It couldn't stop the tears.

<center><i>~Kiss the rain

Whenever you need me

Kiss the rain

Whenever I'm gone

Keep in mind

We're under the same sky

And the night's as empty for me as for you~</i>

~</center>

It was dark out, with no sign of the stars that usually shone brilliantly in this part of the DigiWorld. The land was marked with the signs of battle, the debris of a exploded fortress.

The last battle between Ken's weapon and the Digidestined had been fierce. Kimeramon had been his strongest Digimon, his own creation.

And Kimeramon had nearly destroyed them all. Even Ken, who had designed him, hadn't expected the beast to turn on him as well, blowing him off the back of the Airdramon.

It had been Wormmon who had saved them.

<center>~</center>

~Wormmon,~ Ken thought, trying to open his eyes and failing. Something heavy was nearly crushing him, and the air was stale. ~The explosion…what happened?~ Struggling, he pushed up against a smooth carapace-like object, the entire thing three times the size of him. If it fell…

Ken, his head feeling strangely full, and his body protesting in a manner of ways, gasped out a curse and began to panic. "Wormmon?" he cried out, scrabbling forward with fingers that stung, a voice that was hoarse. His back hurt something fierce, not to mention his legs as he kicked forward, sliding himself inch by inch out of whatever was above him.

Dust sifted down in eye-watering clouds as something shifted slightly, a rumbling groan grating at Ken's body, and a shaft of light slipping down to illuminate his surroundings with faint but welcome light.

Ken stared at the light, some of his fear dissipating, and pulled himself along with his arms, kicking with his legs. The light was like a beacon, the air was fresh and cool against his face. "Wormmon? Where are you?"

He was pushing against a thick slab of what used to be his fortress when a whisper reached his ears.

"Hurry, Ken…I can't hold it up much longer…"

Suddenly desperate, Ken gave a low cry, gritting his teeth and pushing. Something tore in his back, and he curled up, the slab sliding only a fraction of a foot aside.

But it was enough.

Sobbing with pain, the blue-headed teen tumbled out of the pile of rubble, falling on his shoulder. The light half-blinding, he looked back to see what looked like a green and black Digimon under the blocks of stone and wood. It shuddered once, the weight too much to bear, and collapsed.

Ken stared, horrified that he had been so close to death. "Wormmon?" he whispered, clutching his side in an effort to dull the pain shooting through his back. He must have pulled a muscle, or bruised himself.

"Goodbye…Ken…" the giant Digimon whispered.

~He digivolved?!~ Ken gasped, leaned forward as best as he could. "No!" he cried, the tattered navy remains of his suit slowly dissolving. "Wormmon! No...don't leave me…" ~He <i>saved</i> me…~

There was no reply. Ken wiped his face with hands that were covered in dirt and dried blood, hardly noticing that his simple gray uniform had reappeared. ~Why do I keep <i>losing</i> people?~ he thought in despair, crouching over to breathe through the clenching sobs that threatened to rip him apart. Under the rubble, the body of Stingmon began to dissipate.

~Even Daisuke…~

With a shudder of anguish, Ken thought of the way Daisuke had looked as he fell from the back of Airdramon, surprised, fear in the chocolate eyes. The others hadn't tried to dive after him, they merely watched in shock as he had done, watched Daisuke disappear beneath the canopy of trees.

Even later, after Kimeramon had shown up and the others were fighting valiantly, he couldn't get the scene Daisuke falling…Daisuke <i>gone</i>…from his head. ~He's dead…and I'm to blame…Just like Osamu…~

<i><center>~I am colorblind

Coffee black and egg white

Pull me out from inside

I am ready…

I am…

Taffy-stuff and tongue tied

Stutter-shook and uptight

Pull me out from inside

I am ready…~</i>

~</center>

It was his mother who found him, still bloody and crying brokenly over something he couldn't talk about, curled up underneath the bed that had once been Osamu's. Hysterical, if it could be called that.

Naturally, Rita had panicked, calling the ambulance and rushing him off to the hospital when he couldn't be consoled.

So there he was, curled up on a starch-white bed, surrounded by the machinery to determine if he had serious injuries or not. An IV was hooked up to his arm; he barely felt it though. He could barely hear how the doctor was explaining how his back had several torn muscles, and numerous bruises on top of that.

Ken nearly scowled. Idiot. He <i>knew</i> that he was injured. Inside, however, he felt only numbness. ~I was wrong about everything,~ he thought tiredly, turning his head away from the gaggle of nurses and doctors. His mother was somewhere in the room, still weeping about the 'attack' on her son.

He could hear her, somewhere.

And he wondered if it was normal to feel this empty over someone. Wondered if it was normal to feel alone, lost, instead of the usual disinterested emotions he was used to dealing with.

~I made them go away,~ he thought childishly, ignorant of the people as they left his room. ~It's my fault. All of it.~

~Like Osamu.~

Annoyingly, the tears were there, stuck in the back of his throat. ~I wished Osamu would go away…I made Daisuke fall…Wormmon died because of me…~ A tear slipped down past his nose, and Ken tried to curl up again, hating the pain and hiding from it.

<i><center>~I am covered in skin

No one gets to come in

Pull me out from inside

I am folded,

And unfolded,

And unfolding, I am…

Colorblind~</i>

~</center>

~He's sitting alone, again,~ Takeru noted. He pushed the food on his plate around, poking it with his fork as his gaze inevitably wandered towards the redhead. ~He's not the one to blame, and he's already outcast…~

It wasn't Daisuke's fault. Only a day back in school, and he had already distanced himself from the rest of the team. Apparently, he couldn't deal with anything right now. Takeru didn't blame him. Part of him wished that he could just get the courage up to actually chew Miyako out like he had done, but something was too strong to allow that.

Despite the fact that every time he saw the dead look in Daisuke's eyes, a part of him died.

And he knew that nothing he could do would ever heal the shattered redhead.

~If XVeemon hadn't found him…hadn't digivolved out of need…he'd be dead.~

~But I'm not so sure this is better.~

The blond sighed in frustration, scrubbing a hand through his hair and knocking his bucket hat off in the process. ~Things are never simple.~

<center>~</center>

~Rain,~ a part of him noticed bleakly as he stepped out of the school, his bag over his shoulder. The falling water felt gentle against his skin. Half of the sky was lit with blue and the yellow-red of the setting sun, while the rest was covered with a darkening cloud-cover of the deepest pearl-gray.

Ken thought it was beautiful, as he stood there, admiring with part of his empty heart. Beautiful, and too far away. Like so much.

It had been three days. Three days since he had crawled to a port and shimmering into his room. Only two since the hospital.

But three days since Daisuke had…fallen.

Ken found himself walking slowly, mildly enjoying the feel of the rain, heedless of the way it soaked into his clothes, seeped into his skin. In his heart, Ken knew, that Daisuke was too far away to find. Too far away to hurt him anymore, unless Ken let him inside, where the hurt was still waiting.

Yet he still walked.

<center><i>~Kiss the rain

Whenever you need me

Kiss the rain

Whenever I'm gone to long

If your lips feel hungry and tempted

Kiss the rain and wait for the dawn.~ </i>

~<center>

~Damn rain!~ Takeru thought viciously, huddled under the flimsy protection of someone's forgotten newspaper, and stared down the street. There were no cars, and less people that he had imagined.

He <i>was</i> intending to go up to Daisuke's place, but if the rain didn't stop, he'd be soaked to the skin by the time he ran across the street. ~Shit,~ he thought, and cursed it aloud. "Fuck it," he muttered, and dashed across the street as if speed could keep him dry.

He didn't see the teen, about his age, turn the corner until it was too late. With a crash, Takeru stumbled and slipped in the wet-slick pavement, knocking into the kid with a bitten-off yelp.

They tumbled to the ground, the boy, his dark hair sleeked to his head, moving slowly and carefully, as if he was in pain.

"Oh, dammit, you okay?" Takeru scrambled to his knees, and offered his hand to the boy. For an odd reason, he looked familiar. "Hey, I didn't knock your brains out, did I?"

The boy merely stared at him, a mix of hate and pain shifting madcap through his eyes. "…you…" he breathed. "You…" The midnight-dark eyes narrowed in a eerily familiar way, and Takeru dropped his hand.

A flash of the same eyes, bared from beneath purple lenses, and a Kaizer who screamed at them in anger…in pain…in loss.

"Kaizer…" Takeru whispered, falling back on his bottom, the world seeming less than supportive. ~…it's Ken Ichijouji…the one Miyako was crushing on…he's…~

~He's the <i>Kaizer</i>!~

Almost on an unspoken signal, the two sprang at each other, each shouting incomprehensible words of hate and anger at the other.

"…you…your fault…" Ken hissed, straddling the blond and striking at him with curled fists. Takeru was easy to blame, easy to vent his grief and hurt. Tears mixed with rain, streaming down his face. "<i>Your fault</i>!" he shrieked. "He's <i>gone</i> because of you!"

Grunting as his arms took most of the blows, Takeru scowled and twisted around, pushed the former Kaizer onto his back. "What are you talking about, you bastard?" he hissed, wiping his face.

Ken crouched on his knees, one arm wrapped around his middle. The last shove had landed him on his back; now it was tight with pain. Ken bit back a flood of bitter tears. "It's…your fault…" he panted, glaring at the blond for all he was worth. "I've lost them both…"

Takeru stared, perplexed, as Ken winced and braced himself on a hand. "You're supposed to be dead," he said after a moment, after the shock of the Kaizer had worn off and the simple anguish of the boy had shimmered to the surface.

"I almost was," Ken replied in a dull tone. "I should be." The pain was slowly fading, like almost everything else. He still felt the urge to attack the smug-looking blond in front him, hurt him for the fact that Daisuke was <i>gone</i> and left him with all the pain.

"I don't deserve anything anymore…Daisuke's better off dead without me," Ken whispered, to himself more than anything. "And Wormmon, too…"

But Takeru heard, and his stomach flipped. "What?!" he pushed the water-dripping hair out of his face and stared. ~He lost his Digimon…~ a twinge of sympathy tugged at him. ~And he…he <i>cared</i> about Daisuke…~

"Daisuke's not dead," he found himself saying, still angry. "Although he came very close, no thanks to you."

"Huh?"

Takeru pushed himself to his knees, then to his feet. The rain seemed to thicken somehow, as he looked down at the sprawled teen. The mild sympathy he felt vanished as a wild surge of jealously choked him, along with an idea that he couldn't name. "He doesn't want to ever see you again. So just go home, and cry, or something," he sneered.

Ken merely stared at him. ~Alive?~ a faint tremor shook through him. "But…"

"You don't deserve to even <i>speak</i> to him, Kaizer. Not after what you did to him."

The faint light went out in Ken's eyes, and he numbly agreed, silently picking up his soaked schoolbag and cradling it close. He stumbled to his feet, his gaze downcast as he slowly turned around and dragged his schoolbag along the sidewalk.

Takeru watched him leave, a smirk in his eyes. ~That'll teach him,~ he thought, and shuddered to think that he had <i>sympathy</i> for an evil brat like him. ~He deserved it.~

~And Daisuke will never know.~

<b>~~a/n~~</b>

Well, I *said* that it'd get better!! Sorry I had to leave it there, however…. I did change the ending of some of the episodes a bit, so…don't hate, just go with the flow. Wormmon evolved, yay for him!! Go Wormmon! Heheh…Daisuke thinks Ken's dead, no thanks to Takeru…*grin* lessee…and what happens when Ken finds Daisuke?

Heheh…The song "Kiss the Rain" is by Billie Myers. Good song, check it out. The other is off the soundtrack to "Cruel Intentions," number 5. I only have the cd, so I don't know the band or title. It's a good angst song (it's the scene where Phillipe is at the top of the escalator, and Reese is trying to get on the train. Great moment song.)