Doctor Who Fan Fiction ❯ A Piece of Me ❯ a piece of me ( Chapter 1 )

[ P - Pre-Teen ]

Rose sighed sadly as she aimlessly wondered the TARDIS, she knew she wouldn't get lost, though she hadn't spent her lifetime with this beautiful machine, she had a connection with her, and trusted the TARDIS impeccably. Five hours, it'd felt like years waiting for him to return, now with him back he might as well still be absent.

Everything seemed to be going wrong of late, Rose thought idly to herself as she wandered into her favorite room, nearly eight stories high. The wardrobe was her favorite place to get lost, especially when she felt sad or was having trouble with the Doctor. She ran her hands along several of the clothes, men, women and children, it made her wonder sometimes. The grand places he must have been to, to receive so many different types and styles of clothes.

She could get lost in this room; she stopped when her fingers drifted over a very familiar jacket. There, stuck between a gaudy awful multicolored jacket and a white blouse lay the jacket. Dark black, slightly tarnished leather, slipping it off the hanger she was instantly overcome by the memorable smell that was her Doctor. Tears sprang to her eyes as she recalled his every feature, the goofy grin, the beautiful water blue eyes, the steel expression in anger. Pressing the color to her face she took a deep breath, only to slip back against a nearby wall and descend to her butt, where she let that deep breath out in a giant sob. What began as a painful sob soon turned into giant wracking sobs, as she cried for the face she'd lost, the different hands, the different attitudes, as she cried over Sarah Jane and Madame De Pompadour.

Leaning over, she curled up on a pair of old clothes where she had been sitting and held the leather jacket close allowing the sobs and whimpers to overcome her.

Rose had disappeared several hours ago—initially the Doctor knew it was because she was showing Mickey around and because of what he'd put her through. He knew he'd hurt her, he seemed to be doing that a lot more than usual lately. He felt his hearts grip in concern when Mickey entered the consol room, “Have you seen Rose?”

“No,” The Doctor replied immediately, trying to curve the concern he felt mounting in his heart. “Why don't you get somethin' to eat Mickey, I'll go look for her.” The Doctor offered, knowing he had a heart to mend and soon before he risked losing her as well.

He'd been searching for half an hour when he felt his anger and frustration mounting at his normally cooperative ship. “You aren't helping, she could be hurt!” growled the Doctor, but he felt the ship's response; Rose was alive and for the most part well. “That's fine but I need to speak to her.”

Moments later he found himself standing in the wardrobe room, he listened to the TARDIS for a moment before slipping closer to where Rose was located, there she lay, cuddling up with an old leather jacket, her head pillowed by a mountain of clothes. He could see the familiar tear tracks on her face, the puffiness around her closed eyes.

“My beautiful Rose,” he whispered so softly as he reached out and brushed her bangs away from her forehead.

Normally vibrant brown eyes slid open, only to reveal sadness and loss, the Doctor felt his hearts break. He'd caused that look, it was his fault, “Rose—“

She shook her head softly, then looked down at the leather jacket in her arms, pulling it close to her face she took a deep breath, similar to the one that had started her out on the road a few hours earlier. Tears filled those beautiful brownie colored orbs, “'m sorry,” she whimpered as she scooted further from him.

He shook his head, “No Rose, no, don't be sorry, come here,” he held out his hand to her. She looked at it for a few moments, moments stretched on and he realized that before this Rose had never really hesitated in gripping his proffered hand.

“I miss him—I know you're the same but you aren't,” she shook her head. “You're just not.”

Taking a deep breath of his own the Doctor nodded, “Come with me Rose, let me show you something,” he murmured as an idea popped into his mind.

She finally accepted his hand, but never released the jacket in her grasp. He followed her all the way to the library, “Take a seat in that chair,” moving over to one of the shelves he slipped a book off a high shelf and stepped up to the chair she was now standing beside. “Come here,” he pulled her down in his lap, if she was resisting at this point he certainly couldn't tell as she leaned her head against his shoulder.

Opening the book she was surprised to see photos, black and white of a very old man and a younger dark haired woman. “This is Susan, she's my granddaughter, beautiful one she was. Oi smart as a whip too. Anyway this was my first body and truth be told I spent most of my life in that body, that was a hundred years or so right there. I had children, strapping sons a beautiful little girl,” he shook his head and turned the page, to reveal a picture of what appeared to be a family, “My granddaughter started this album for me. Then as I began to change I would find it, and stick some of the pictures in there,” shrugged he flipped through several more pictures divulging some of the tales from a few of them. He reached another regeneration, “This is my second, goofy one him, but smart, liked to play the flute—“ he shook his head sadly, “That wasn't a good time for me.”

“What happened?” Rose asked quietly.

“I was exiled by my own people—they forced my regeneration, which leads to this one,” flipping the page Rose giggled.

“Handsome, nice hair.”

The Doctor chuckled softly as he watched a little vibrancy return to the beautiful eyes, “Jo was my companion during that time, she was scatter-brained but smart. She married and left, which was all right I was happy for her. This regeneration ended by radiation poisoning, which by the way is quite painful.”

“My God that scarf goes on forever,” laughed Rose as she looked at the fourth Doctor.

Smirking he snaked an arm around her waist and nodded, “Perhaps the second longest duration, my fourth regeneration went through—eight companions Sarah Jane from the pervious incarnation, she was sad when I died, K-9 obviously, Tegan just to name a few. Oh I loved them all, some more so than others perhaps, but they were all wonderful. Unfortunately I fell to my death with this incarnation,” he continued to turn the pages of the book.

“Is that why you don't like heights?”

He nodded, “Among other things yes, and hospitals. My fifth incarnation wasn't quite as pleasant, he appeared to be a mixture of my other incarnations, I lost a companion during that one.”

“Oi was he color blind?”

“Just you wait it gets better,” Flipping through pages he watched her light up at some of the pictures that were funnier than others, “I sacrificed myself for Peri, it was the only option—I died and regenerated into my sixth—“

“Oi! You look ridiculous—though again cute, you got younger looking.”

The Doctor chuckled and nodded, continuing to divulge more of his favorite stories from that era, “I wasn't a pleasant person, rude very rude, though slightly ginger—“

“You were rude in your last incarnation not sure how you figure that's changed.”

“Oi, be nice I'm showing this all to you,” he smirked softly again and turned a few more pages before he reached the next incarnation, “This was Ace,” he smiled fondly as he pointed to the young girl standing beside him proudly. “She was very similar to you, brilliant beyond belief, though I angered her more often than I do you. Perhaps I learned.”

“You loved her?” Rose asked seriously looking at him.

The Doctor gazed up at her for a moment before smirking, “Oh yes, but not the way you believe perhaps more like a father loves a daughter or a professor a student. Anyway I was in charge of taking the remnants of my mortal enemy the Master back to my planet—I landed in 1999 and got shot. I died, which leads us to this one.”

She gaped as she looked at the handsome man in the picture, “The eighth?”

He nodded, “I am perhaps more like him than any of my incarnations. My eighth was a romantic at heart,” he looked up at her, “I know I would have loved you at first sight. I lost everything in this incarnation, my world the woman I loved,” he pointed to the beautiful woman in the picture grinning, “Her name was Grace and she was—“ he paused and looked at her, “Similar to you, though older.”

“What happened?”

His eyes took on a sad tone as he looked down at the pages in front of him, “The Time War, only a matter of years for your people passed before I met you, three maybe four years. I destroyed my entire race because we couldn't interfere and I disagreed—bad decisions were made.”

Reaching out Rose turned the page and gasped. There he stood proud and tall his hand gripping her's a beautiful grin on both their faces, the tears that had disappeared were back again. “Rose, I'm showing you this because—I'm the same person, you're right my face has changed, my personality has changed, but the memories and emotions and feelings are all still there.”

She shook her head, gently caressing the picture of her Doctor, “No—he needed me, needed someone to love him.” she whimpered.

Reaching up with his hands he gently stroked her cheek, “My beautiful sweet Rose Marion Tyler, I do need you,” his eyes solemn as he stared into her's, “Yes there's not question you saved my life Rose Tyler, literally and figuratively, you helped bring me back from a very dangerous place. In that respect I don't need you anymore, but if I lost you—“ he felt his own eyes tearing up, “If I ever lost you I wouldn't be far from that man you first recall. Hallow jokes, guilt ridden and sadness. I cared for Reinette, I cared for all of my friends and companions—you are different.”

“Why?” she had to know, had to hear him say the words, but she knew it would be near impossible.

He smiled again, pulling her closer, “Because unlike other companions I will lose one of my hearts should you leave.”

She leaned against his shoulder and smiled, burrowing further into his lap, “I won't leave you,” she replied softly.

“Here, why don't you keep this for me, keep it updated of our adventures,” he whispered placing the book in her hands along with the leather jacket.

“But—“

“It's yours,” he whispered.”

o0o

He came into her room at times when he felt completely lost with the rest of the world. Sighing he reached out and gripped the pink jacket that lay on her bed, he'd left it as it always had been. Unchanged, he needed something to remember her by. His beautiful Rose; with a slow deep breath he sat down on the bed, leaning over he pressed his face into one of her pillows, surprised when he felt something hard under her pillow.

He withdrew a beautiful, familiar old book and smiled—the photo album. He opened it up, flipping through the pages like he had so long ago with Rose. He felt tears fill his eyes as he found several new pages Rose had added, pictures of them, pictures of Sara Jane Smith, even the letter from Madame De Pompadour, all the memories they'd created, the words Bad Wolf written in scrawling print.

Turning the last page a piece of paper fell from between the pages. He glanced at the final pictures, someone else had taken it, he was holding her in his arms spinning her around grins dawned both their faces. Taking the piece of paper in hand he opened it up.

My Dear Doctor,

If you are reading this then most likely I've died or left. Although I have no idea why I would ever leave you of my own free will I'm writing this letter anyway. Truth is I've learned a lot in the two years I traveled with you, so much in fact I've discovered that anything can change in the matter of seconds—a single heartbeat.

Doctor I love you, I know it seems childish and perhaps you'll think me stupid, but I think I've loved you since down in that damn morgue when you grabbed my hand. You gave me the entire universe, which is more than anyone will ever give me. My lonely angel, I've met so many people and those who know you are right, you are worth the monsters and worth the nightmares: worth getting my heart broken over, because the idea of having never met you horrifies me.

If I have died or left for some reason then I'll tell you what I told you the first time you almost lost me. It wasn't your fault, it was never your fault I wouldn't have missed this for the world. You are kind and compassionate, with a heart for humanity and another heart for justice. The Time Lords aren't dead, because as you live and breathe you carry on the legacy of strength and power.

However not that I'm gone you have to carry on as well, I don't know if you love me the way I loved you, but if I'm dead carry on. Be strong and live the life you were meant to live, enjoy the slow path if you get a chance but remember that I'm still with you. So in the words of your former incarnation—have a good life Doctor, do that for me, have a fantastic life.

Love,
Rose Tyler, the Bad Wolf

He felt the tears running down his cheeks as he smiled sadly, always brilliant that one, his beautiful Rose Tyler. He nodded, he would go on, he would have a good life time, in memory of the beautiful blonde who'd saved his life and wrecked his world.

Tenderly stroking the picture of Rose and him self, he felt his hearts give a brief quiver as he curled up on his side and allowed his dreams to carry him away whimpering quietly, the healing process was going to begin tonight.

The End