Dragon Ball/Z/GT Fan Fiction / Fan Fiction ❯ Airplane - MSTed! ❯ Airplane - MSTed! ( One-Shot )

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Mystery Saiya-jin Theater 3000 Post 101
AIRPLANE!
Written by: Jim Abrahams, David Zucker, & Jerry Zucker
MSTed by: Persona

(Scene opens in a poorly lit room. Voices can be heard, but only shadows can be
seen.)

A dark figure makes his way to a futureistic looking machine. "Is the machine
finally ready?" A second figure, also shrouded in darkness, steps into the room
as well. "Yes my master." "And the satellite?" "It is also ready. Everything is
as you wanted sir."

An evil smile spreads across the first figure's face, his plan now in the final
stages of completion. "And the subjects?" "Their energy paterns have already
been programed into the computer. All there is left is to start the machine."
"Excellent. Everything is proceeding according to plan. Now is the time that
will reward all our hard work, now is the time that their suffering will begin."
The first figure paused for a minute to savour the moment before turning to his
assistant. "Push the button."

<House 439-3 Eastern Sector >

"Hey Chi-Chi! I've got some good news!"

Chi-Chi frowned the second she heard that, usually Goku's idea of 'good news'
ment that he had found someone to train, or he was going off somewhere to train
himself, or anything else that wold take him away from home. Yet she put on a
carefully forced smile and awaited the enevitable. "What is it Goku?"

"Well the earth isn't in danger anymore, and no one has challenged me as of
late, so now I can spend more time with you!"

Chi-Chi couldn't believe what she just heard. "A-are you serious?" "Yeah, Vegita
is over at the capsule corperation continuing his training, so aside from the
odd challenge from him, I have no reason to leave!"

Chi-Chi huged Goku happily. "Oh Goku, that is great news!" "I know, for once I'm
not getting yelled at!"

Suddenly a bright light filled the room and was gone as rapedly as it appeared.
Chi-Chi fell to the floor due to the fact that Goku, whom she was resting
against, had disapeared.

The resulting scream of anger could be heard from Kame Senin's island.
"GOKUUUUUUUUU!!!!!"

Kuririn, who was on said island continuing his training, was startled by the
scream. "M-master Roshi, what was that?" "Hmmmm........ It sounds like Goku
pissed off Chi-Chi, once again." Upon hearing this, Kuririn started thinking of
places to hide to avoid her wrath.

<Capsule Corperation HQ>

Vegita can be seen training in the gravity room. The room is currently set to
700G.

"Just you wait Kakarott, now that there is nothing standing in the way of my
training, I shall surpass you!"

Suddenly the room was filled with a bright light for an instant, when the light
subsided, Vegita was no where to be seen.

<Satan City, The Satan Estate>

"Evil....Everywhere....Shall not be forgiven....Great Saiyaman!!!!"

Gohan was with Videl, going over some new poses for his alter ego Great
Saiyaman.

"Gohan, that was well done!" "Thanks Videl. OH! Here's a new one I've been
working on, tell me what you think of it."

Gohan got into his stance when a sudden burst of light filled the room. After it
subsided Videl found her self alone. "WOW! That was great Gohan-kun! Gohan-kun?
Where are you?"

<The Future>

Trunks had finally set things right in his future. 17 and 18 were destroyed and
the world was finally at peace. He had hoped to take things easy for a while,
relax, and hopefully find a girlfriend. Unfortuanately he never got the chance,
because he vanished with appearance of a bright flash of light.

<??????????>

A bright flash of light appeared in a strange and deserted room for an instant,
and was gone just as quickly. However the room was no longer deserted, for Son
Goku now stood there. "What just happened?"

Before Goku could say anything else another flash of light appeared leaving
Vegita right in front of him. "THE HELL!? Kakarott! Have you brought me here?"
"Vegita!? No, I don't even know what I'm doing here!"

Their conversation was interupted by yet another flash of light, this time
leaving Son Gohan, in full Great Saiyaman costume, in the strange room. "Videl?
What was that..... Videl?" Gohan turned around to see his father and Vegita.
"What the!? Where am I? And what are you doing here?" "Gohan!?"

With one final flash of light, Mirai Trunks appeared. "Woah, what was that?
Father! Goku! Gohan! What's going on here? I never made another trip to the
past!

While still in various stages of confusion, a previously inoperative view screen
came to life. "Maybe now we'll get some answers as to what the hell is going
on!" Vegita exclaimed as the outlines of two figures could faintly be made out.

"Ah good, you've all finally arived. I'll bet you're a little curious as to what
just happened, aren't you?" "I guess you could say that." Goku replyed. "Who are
you?" "I am evil incarnate! I am your worst nightmare!" The figure then stepped
out of the shadows and into plain view. "I am Majin Saban!!!"

The Saiya-jins went wide-eyed. "*MAJIN* SABAN!?"

Majin Saban looked at the surprised group of people on the view screen and
smirked. "As you know, it my goal in life to ruin all anime everywhere! But you
four have been giving me a great deal of trouble. Not even my censorship and bad
dubbing have broken your spirits yet!"

"And you never will! None of the DBZ cast will ever help you!" Gohan spat out
bitterly. "Oh, I wouldn't say that." The second figure said as he steped into
the light. A look of shock spread across the faces of the Saiya-jins as Saban's
smirk got even wider. "Allow me to introduce my assitant, TV's Yamcha!"

Goku was the first to recover. "Yamcha, why?" Yamcha looked directly at Goku,
with a slight gleam of hate in his eye. "I'll tell you why. Ever since the
begining of Dragonball Z, I've been used as cannon fodder! You guys get all the
fame!" He then looked at Vegita. "You even stole my girlfriend!"

Vegita gave his classic trademark smirk and casually glanced at Yamcha. "What
can I say? I guess she wanted a real man."

Yamcha lost it for a minute, but regained his composure. "Anyway, the great
Majin Saban promised me that if I helped him break your wills, I would be put
back into a staring role!"

"Break our wills? And just how do you expect to do that?" Asked Trunks.

"Simple, using my new Deux Ex Machina, I've transported you four to a satellite
I've placed in Earth orbit. There you will be forced to view horrible
fanfiction. And once I find the fic that sends you over the deep end, I shall
release it upon the anime multiverse and bend them all to my will!
BWHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!"

"That's................ Really stupid." Vegita replied flatly. The others agreed
with him.

"Oh really? We'll just see how stupid of an idea it is once I......... How shall
I put it?" Saban looked at them with an evil grin. "Send your sanity to another
dimension!"

Those last words REALLY got the four Saiya-jins pissed off, especially Vegita.
"That's it! Who's up for leaving this place and beating the shit out of those
two?" Three hands promply shot into the air. "Heh, my thoughts exactly." Vegita
then turned to Goku. "Kakarott, get us out of here!"

Goku performed his Shunken Ido technique to get everyone off the satellite and
introduce Saban to the true meaning of pain. Needless to say, everyone was a bit
surprised when the realized that they were still in the satellite.

"Oh, did I forget to mention that I've installed Plot Contriviance Fields (TM)
that nullifies the effects of all your special techniqes?" Saban said, oozing
superiority.

A look of horror and a sence of dread suddenly filled the satellite. "Well, this
offically sucks ass." Trunks stated rather depressed.

"Ah yes, life is good!" Saban exclaimed, happy that his master plan was carried
out so perfectly. "So let's get you started shall we? I'm feeling generous
today, so I'll start you off on something light."

"Besides, all the bad stuff was wiped out by some computer virus and we need to
rebuild our database." Yamcha added, only to met with a cold stare from Majin
Saban, who started to flare an evil battle aura. "I should have kept my mouth
shut, right?" Majin Saban simply noded and blasted Yamcha to parts unknown.

"Anyway, you're torture for today is the script of a rather lame movie called
Airplane. Enjoy, or not. Oh and if you're thinking of simply not entering the
theater, I'll beam the entire DBZ series that I've dubbed into your brains."

Everyone blanched at this announcement and decided to take their chances in the
theater. Suddenly the sirens and klaxons that signaled the incoming script
started to fill the satellite.

"Oh man, WE'VE GOT MOVIE SCRIPT SIIIIIIIIIGN!!!!!" Goku yelled.

The other three just stared at him. "Where the hell did that come from?" Asked
Vegita. "I...... I have no idea. It just felt right." Goku replied as they ran
into the theater.

(Theme music spontainiously cues up)

In the not too distant future,
In the Dragonball universe.
A group of heroic Saiya-jins,
Were trying to beat Saban's curse!

Because they refused to go along with Saban's plan,
And spred bad dubbing across the land,
Saban came up with an evil way,
To break their wills and make them pay!

We'll send them cheesy fanfics,
And anything else we may find! (LA-LA-LA)
They'll have to sit and watch them all,
And I'll finally control their minds! (LA-LA-LA)

Now keep in mind they can't control,
What tortures are brought to light. (LA-LA-LA)
They'll try to keep their sanity,
Without killing each other in a massive fight!

SAIYA-JIN ROLE CALL!

GOKU! (Kamehameha!)
GOHAN! (Fear my poses!)
TRUNKS! (Why me?)
VEGITA! (Send THIS to another dimension!)

So if your wondering why they can't escape,
And other various facts. (LA-LA-LA)
Just chalk it all up to a plot device,
And you should really just relax!

FOR MYSTERY SAIYA-JIN THEATER 3000!

[We hear the Guitar twang as the door sequence completes. Everyone
enters the theater. They sit, from right to left: Goku, Gohan, Vegita, Trunks]

TRUNKS: Well, it was a dumb idea to begin with, so we shouldn't have anything to
worry about.

[Goku suddenly looks terifyed.]

GOKU: Except for the fact that I told Chi-Chi that I'd be spending more time
with her now!

[Vegita gets the same look Goku does.]

VEGITA: And I promised Bulma that I'd be with her and Trunks more often!

[Gohan follows suit.]

GOHAN: And I had a big date with Videl on Friday! She's gonna have my ass on a
platter if I'm not there!

[The three Saiyans start thinking about the earfull they were going to get when
they got back home and get really depressed.]

TRUNKS: You know, many is the time I've longed for a girlfriend. Now is not one
of them.
OTHERS: Shut up.

> AIRPLANE!
>Starring:
>Kareem Abdul-Jabar as Murdock
>Peter Graves as Captain Oever
>Lloyd Bridges as McCroskey
>Julie Hagerty as Elaine
>Robert Hayes as Ted Striker
>Leslie Neilson as Dr. Rumack

GOHAN: Cool! I love Leslie Neilson, he's hilarious!
TRUNKS: Don't get your hopes up Gohan, I don't think this would have been sent
up if it was good.

>Lorna Patterson as Randy
>Robert Stack as Kramer

VEGITA: The hell? Is this a Seinfeld/Unsolved Mysteries crossover now?
GOKU: Good God, I hope not!

>Stephen Stucker as Johnny
>Otto ( Autopilot) as Himself

GOKU: Look! It's self insertion!
ALL: NOOOOOOO!!!!

>
>Written/Directed/Produced By: Jim Abrahams, David & Jerry Zucker
>
>OPEN: Theme from Jaws, plane busts out of clouds like Jaws...

[Everyone is shaken out of their seats.]

VEGITA: At least this theater has kick ass base!

>Voiceman: The white zone is for immediate loading and unloading
> of passengers only, there is no stopping in the red
> zone.
>Voiclady: The white zone is for immediate loading and unloading
> of passengers only, there is no stopping in the red
> zone.
>Voiceman: The white zone is for immediate loading and unloading
> of passengers only, there is no stopping in the red
> zone.

TRUNKS: Alright already! We heard you the first time!

>Voiclady: The white zone is for immediate loading and unloading
> of passengers only, there is no stopping in the red
> zone.

All: SHUT UP!

>Zealot#1: Hello, we'd like you to have this flower from the
> religious consciousness church, would you care
> to make a donation?
>Elaine : No, thank you anyway.

GOHAN <Zealot#1>: You're welcome. [grumbling] You ungrateful tramp, may you burn
in hell!

>Voiceman: The red zone is for immediate loading and unloading
> of passengers only, there is no stopping in the white
> zone.

VEGITA: Not this crap again!

>Voiclady: NO! The white zone is for immediate loading and
> unloading and there is no stopping in the red zone.
>Voiceman: The red zone has always been for loading and unloading
> there is never stopping in a white zone.
>Voiclady: Don't tell me which zone is for stopping and which zone
> is for loading.
>Voiceman: Listen Betty, don't start up with your white zone shit
> again!

GOKU: Ummm, they might want to turn off the PA system and work this out in
private.

>Zealot#2: Hello, we'd like you to have this flower from the
> religious consciousness church, would you like
> to make a donation?
>???????? : No thanks, we gave at the office.

TRUNKS: Whe the hell was the point of that scene?
GOHAN: I guess it was a time filler.

>AT SECURITY GATE:
>Security: Would you put all of your metal objects into this dish
> please ( Man first removes all of his jewelry, etc.
> then his prosthetic arm and leg)

VEGITA: I've heard that air fare these days costs an arm and a leg, but this is
ridiculous!

>Voiceman: There's just no stopping in a white zone.

GOHAN: Oh no. Not this again!

>Voiclady: Oh really, Vernon, why pretend, we both know perfectly
> well what it is you're talking about. You want me to
> have an abortion.

ALL: THE HELL?!

>Voiceman: Its really the only sensible thing to do. If its done
> properly, therapeutically, there's no danger involved.

GOKU: Where did that come from?
GOHAN: More importantly, WHY was it there?

>Someguy : Taxi!
>Striker : I'll be back in a minute. ( sets cab's meter running)

TRUNKS <Striker>: Sucker!

>Zealot#3: Hello sir, we'd like you to have this flower on behalf
> of the church of Religious consciousness, would you
> caaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarr...

VEGITA <Striker>: No, I don't care. If fact, you and your religion can bite me!

>Worker#1: Hey, Larry, where's the forklift? ( To worker#2 who is
> busy guiding a plane into a hanger )
>Worker#2: Forklift? Its over there by the baggage loader.
> ( Gestures the direction of baggage loader with
> guide sticks causing the plane to go that direction
> and to come crashing into the terminal)

TRUNKS <sarcastic>: Oh, GOOD one!

>People : ( In terminal ) LOOK OUT!!!! ARGGGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!
> (pandemonium).

GOKU: We've only just begun, and we've already had at least four scenes that are
just time fillers!
VEGITA <writers>: Well, we could actually work on a plot, or we could just throw
in a lot of time fillers. Guess what we decided?

>
>Striker : Elaine!!!!!
>Elaine : Ted!
>Striker : I came home early and found your note. I guess you
> meant for me to read it later. Elaine, I've got to
> to talk to you.

TRUNKS <Striker>: Who's this guy you've been seeing behind my back and what does
he have that I don't have?
GOHAN <Elaine>: Well, he has money, good looks, a steady job, nice car, an eight
inch <THWAP!> Ouch!
GOKU: I think you can stop there.

>Elaine : I just don't want to go over it anymore.
>Striker : I know things haven't been right for a long time,
> but... It'll be different. Like it was in the
> beginning. If you'll just be patient I can work
> things out.
>Elaine : I have been patient and I tried to help, but you
> wouldn't even let me do that.
>Striker : Don't you feel anything for me at all anymore?
>Elaine : It takes so many things to make love last. But,
> most of all, it takes respect, and I can't live
> with the man I don't respect.

GOKU: That scene actually had good quality! Maybe the movie is going to get
better?

>Striker : ( To camera ) What a PISSER!

GOKU: Then again......

>PA : Captain Oever, white courtesy phone. Captain Clarence
> Oever, white courtesy phone.
>OEVER PICKS UP A RED PHONE.
>Operator: NO! THE WHITE PHONE.

VEGITA: But how did the operator know he picked up the wrong phone?
GOKU: Just smile and nod, try not to apply logic to this.

>Oever : Oh! ( picks up white phone ) This is Captain Oever!
>Operator: One moment for your call from the Mayo Clinic.
>PA : Captain Oever, white courtesy phone. Captain Clarence
> Oever, white courtesy phone.
>Oever : I'VE GOT IT!

[All cover their ears.]

GOHAN: Oww.... I think I'm now deaf!
TRUNKS: WHAT?
GOHAN: I SAID I THINK I'M NOW DEAF!
TRUNKS: YOU WANT TO BECOME A CHEF?
GOHAN: I SAID..... Ah forget it.

>PA : Thank you.
>
>Operator: Go ahead with your call.
>MayoDoct: Uh, this is Doctor Brody at the Mayo Clinic. There's a
> passenger on your Chicago flight 209er, a little girl
> named Lisa Davis, en route to Minneapolis. She's
> scheduled for a heart transplant, we'd like you to tell
> her mother we found a donor an hour ago. We have the
> heart here, ready for surgery. . . We must have the
> recipient on the operating table within 6 hours. I
> want you to make sure she's kept in a reclined position
> and that a continuous watch is kept on her IV. Also,
> its very important that she remain calm. . .

VEGITA: Ten bucks says that the girl dies by the end of the movie.
GOHAN: It's not a bet if everyone agrees with you.
GOKU: Hold on. I'll take that bet.
TRUNKS: Your loss.
GOKU: Come on, the movie may be lame, but I doubt they'll kill anyone to try and
get a cheap laugh.
GOHAN: Foreshadowing folks!

>Operator: EXCUSE ME, This is the operator Captain Oever, I have
> an emergency call on line 5 from a Mr. Hamm.
>Oever : Alright, Give me Hamm on 5, hold the Mayo.

TRUNKS: Why am I suddenly hungry?
GOHAN: You know, a lot of this movie seems to riff itself!

>Striker : Look, you'll be back in town tomorrow night, we'll...
> have dinner. We'll talk things over.
>Elaine : I won't be back, I've requested the Atlanta run.
>Striker : Elaine, I promise, I can change.
>Elaine : Then why didn't you take the job that Louis Neds
> offered you at Boeing?

VEGITA <Striker>: Cause I'm lazy.

>Striker : You know I haven't been able to get near a plane since
> since the war. Even if I could, they wouldn't hire
> me because of my war record.
>Elaine : You're war record ??? You're the only one keeping that
> alive, for everyone else, its ancient history.
>Striker : You expect me to believe that?

TRUNKS <Striker>: You expect be to believe that everything doesn't revolve
around me?

>Elaine : Its the truth. What's hurt you the most is your record
> since the war. Different cities, different jobs and
> not one of them shows you can accept any real
> responsibility.
>Striker : Elaine, if you just give me one more . . .
>Elaine : Its too late, Ted. When I get back to Chicago, I'm
> going to start my life all over again. I'm sorry.
>Zealot#4: Excuse me, we'd like you to have this flower from the
> Church of Religious Conscious. . .PUNCH . . .
> EWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ALL: Thank you!
GOKU: These guys always seem to pick the wrong time to ask that question.
VEGITA: These guys come up to you and ask for money for some religon no one's
ever heard about, It's NEVER a good time to ask that question!

>Attendnt: Hi! Well, good evening. Oh, there you go.
> You just follow all the way back. Hello.
>Victor : Any word on that storm lifting over Salt Lake
> Clarence?
>Oever : No not likely, Victor. I just reviewed the area report
> for 1600 hours through 2400.
>Victor : Uh, huh ...
>Oever : There's a front stalled over the Dakotas, backed all
> the way to Utah.

TRUNKS: INTENSE COURSE PLOTTING ACTION!!!!!

>Victor : Yeah, well, if she decides to push over to the great
> lakes, it could get plenty slippery.

GOHAN: Ah, she must be using KY Jelly.
GOKU: GOHAN!

>Oever : Uh, huh.
>Victor : What about the southern route, around Tulsa?
>Oever : I double checked the terminal forecast and winds aloft
> and I had cloudy ceilings all the way.
>Victor : Where do they top out?

VEGITA: If this goes on any longer I'm going to fall asleep.

>Oever : Well . . . there's some light scattered cover to 20,000
> icing around 15. . .
>Worker3 : Wahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh..
> (falling off ladder from washing plane's windows)

GOKU: And just what was the point of that?
VEGITA: I'm guessing to wake the audience up.

>Victor : Boy looks like the original plan ought to be the
> best bet.
>Oever : Denver it is.
>Murdock : Sorry Clarence. Latest weather report shows everything
> is sopped in from Salt Lake to Lincoln.
>Oever : Oh, Hi Roger! Glad to have you aboard! Victor, this is
> Roger Murdock, Victor Basta.
>Victor : How do you do Roger?
>Murdock : Nice to meet you!

[All start to fall asleep.]

>Oever : Roger, I was telling Victor that I reviewed the area
> report for 1600 hours through 2400 there'sa front
> stalled over the Dakotas. . .
>Ticketer: There you go, thank you.

ALL: AHHH!
GOHAN: They should place warnings around sudden scene changes like that!
TRUNKS: Well, they need to keep the audience awake somehow.

>Striker : Can you tell me if Elaine Dickenson is on this
> flight?
>Ticketer: Well, the whole flight crew has boarded. Let me see.
> Oh yes, she is on board.
>Striker : I'd like one ticket to Chicago. No baggage.
>( Guy still waits in Taxi for Striker)

GOKU: That's going to be one hell of a large fair he's going to have to pay.
VEGITA: I guess he forgot that there ARE other cabs in the city.

>Ticketer: Smoking or non-smoking.
>Striker : Smoking, please.
>Ticketer: ( Hands Ted a ticket which is literally smoking) There.
> Have a nice trip.

GOHAN: You know, this whole concept of taking everything literally is starting
to bug me.
TRUNKS: I think that's why it was sent up.

>FLASHBACK: STRIKER.
> VOICE: Striker, this is red leader 4.

VEGITA: I've got TIE fighters on my back! Where's my cover fire!

> Primary target
> covered by fog. Decision to proceed is yours.
> decision to proceed IS YOURS. IS YOUUUURRRRS...
> YOUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRRRRSSSSSSSSSSSSS.
>Jiveman1: Sheeeet, man, that honkey mus' be messin' my old lady
> got to be runnin' col' upsihd down his head!

ALL: NANI!?
GOKU: Did somone spaz out at the keyboard?
GOHAN: Somone tell this guy to switch to decaf!

>Subtitle: GOLLY, THAT WHITE FELLOW SHOULD STAY AWAY FROM MY WIFE
> OR I WILL PUNCH HIM.

ALL: ......
GOKU: I'm not sure what that guy said, but I STILL know that it was butchered in
the translation.
TRUNKS: And we know ALL about getting dubbed horribly!

>Jiveman2: Hey Holm, I can dig it! You know he ain't gonna lay no
> mo' big rap upon you man!
>Subtitle: YES, HE IS WRONG FOR DOING THAT.

GOHAN: Couldn't they at least use abriviations? No one but Data talks like that,
and even he got over it!
VEGITA: Well, there's a reason why it's called BAD dubbing.

>Jiveman1: I say hey sky, s'other say I won say I pray to J I get
> the same ol' same ol.
>Subtitle: I KNEW A MAN IN A SIMILAR PREDICAMENT, AND HE ENDED UP
> BEING SORRY.
>Jiveman2: Knock yourself a pro slick. Gray matter back got
> perform' us' down I take TCBin, man'.
>Subtitle: DON'T BE NAIVE ARTHUR. EACH OF US FACES A CLEAR MORAL
> CHOICE.

VEGITA <Jiveman making a choice>: Crowbar or sledgehammer, which would hurt the
subtitler more?

>Jiveman1: You know wha' they say: See a broad to get that bodiac
> lay'er down an' smack 'em yack 'em.

GOHAN: I don't think we need a subtitle to understand that one, right?
ALL: Right.

>Subtitle: EARLY TO BED, EARLY TO RISE, MAKES A MAN HEALTHY,
> WEALTHY AND WISE.

TRUNKS: More like "Early to bed, early to rise, means you can score twice as
more."

>Together: Col' got to be! Yo!
>Subtitle: HOW TRUE!
>Together: Sheeeeeeet!
>Subtitle: GOLLY.
>
>SIGH ON PLANE LIGHTS UP

GOKU: It's kind of sad when even professional scripts still have typos.

>ZDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD?
>3 NO SMOKING 3
>3 El NO A YOU SMOKO 3
>3 3
>3 FASTEN SEATBELTS 3
>3 PUTANA DA SEATBELTZ 3
>@DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDY

VEGITA: I don't know what's worse, the crappy Mexican, or the even more crappy
border.

>Oldlady : Nervous?
>Striker : Yes.
>Oldlady : First time?
>Striker : NO, I've been nervous lots of times.

ALL: Wah-wah-wahhhhhh.

>Elaine : Hi, we'll be taking off real soon. SO I'd better
> fasten you in tight.
>Dyingirl: Thank you. Oh, mother this is so exciting.
>Mother : I know, but you must get some rest.

VEGITA: You need to get ready for you're death scene.
GOKU: I'm telling you it's not going to happen.

>Elaine : That's good advice. You relax and I'll be back right
> after we take off.
>Lovelorn: God Bill. I am going to miss you so much.
>Leaving : Oh, I'm gonna miss you too. Promise you'll write??

GOHAN <Lovelorn>: Well, no. Actually I'm planning on finding somone else the
second you leave.

>Lovelorn: SIGH . . . Every day. Bill...
>Conductr: Better get on board son. All aboard!!!!!

TRUNKS: Someone want to tell this guy that the train station's on the other side
of the street?

>Oever : 209er to ground control. We're loaded and ready to
> taxi.
>Lovelorn: Goodbye Bill!
>Leaving : Goodbye darling. I love you darling.

VEGITA: Yeah, yeah, shut up and get your ass in the plane and make this shorter.

>Tower : 2-0-9er, taxi to runway 1-9er.
>Leaving : Goodbye darling.
>Lovelorn: Have your picture taken the minute you get there. And
> send me one, alright?
>Leaving : Okay, here, hurry. ( he throws her his watch as she
> runs along the side of the taxiing plane. )

GOKU: But the plane doesn't move until the doors are closed!
VEGITA: Now who's trying to apply logic?

>Lovelorn: Oh, but your watch, but you shouldn't. You're gonna
> need this!
>Leaving : Its alright. It doesn't work.

GOHAN <Leaving>: Let me see if I have any more junk to give you as a going away
present.

>Lovelorn: Bill!
>Leaving : Goodbye darling.
>Lovelorn: Bill! ( Knocks over light tower while running ) Bill!
> Bill! I'll keep it with me all the time, I swear to
> you.
>Leaving : I know darling, take care of yourself, goodbye.

TRUNKS: I'm amazed that she's been able to keep up with the plane.
GOHAN: Why? Most everything else we've seen so far isn't likely to ever happen
in real life.
TRUNKS: Good point.

>Tower : Flight 2-0-9er, you're cleared for take off.
>Oever : Roger!
>Murdock : Huh?
>Tower : L.A. departure frequency 1-2-3 point 9er.
>Oever : Roger!
>Murdock : Huh?
> : Re-quest Vector, over!
>Oever : What?

GOKU: This joke is getting real old real fast.

>Tower : 2-0-9er clear for vector 2-3-4.
>Murdock : We have clearance Clarence.
>Oever : Roger, Roger. What's our Vector Victor?
>Tower : Tower's radio clearance, over!
>Oever : That's Clarence Oever! Oever.
>Tower : Roger.
>Murdock : Huh?
>Tower : Roger, over.
>Murdock : Huh?
>Oever : Huh?

TRUNKS: Ugg, there had better be a supply of aspirin on this thing.
VEGITA: They didn't just kill that joke, they burried it and dug it up over and
over again!

>Attendnt: DO you feel alright sir?
>Striker : Oh, I haven't flown for a long time.

GOHAN <Striker>: I hope you don't mind if I vomit up and down the isle.

>Oever : Good evening ladies and gentleman,

GOKU: This is your pilot Claude Reigns, your co-pilot Harvey the rabbit.
VEGITA: Not too many people are going to get that.
GOHAN: And those that do, give yourselves a cookie!

> this is Captain
> Oever speaking. Well, be cruising at 36,000 feet
> this evening. Our arrival time in Chicago will be
> 10:45 pm central time. The temperature there is
> currently 62 degrees with a 20% chance of precipitation.
> Meanwhile, relax and enjoy your flight.

TRUNKS: At least until the disaster strikes.

>Elaine : Would you like something to read?
>Oldlady: Do you have anything light?
>Elaine : Uhhhhhhhhhhhhh... how about this leaflet, famous Jewish
> sports legends?

VEGITA <shocked>: They managed to fill an entire leaflet!?
GOKU: Oh, don't be so shocked.
VEGITA: Name one famous Jewish sports legend.
GOKU: I'll name four. Goldberg, Raven, DDP, and Dean Malenko.
GOHAN: I didn't know you liked wrestling.
GOKU: I don't, but apperently our MSTer does.

[A large explosion is heard and dust fills the theater.]

VEGITA: HEY! Don't break the fourth wall Kakarott!
GOKU: Sorry.

>Oldlady: Yes, thank you.
>Elaine : Teeeeeeeeeeeed!?! What are you doing here?

GOHAN <Elane>: And what have you done to Ted?

>Striker: Elaine, I've got to talk to you!
>Elaine : Y-Y-Yo-You shouldn't have come, I don't have time now!
>Oldlady: Stewardess . . .
>Elaine : Excuse me!
>Oldlady: No wonder you're upset! She's lovely! And a darling
> figure. Supple pouting breasts. . . firm thighs . . .
> its a shame you two don't get along.

GOKU: NO! Don't give him an opening to drone on about his problems!

>Striker: Yes, I know, things used to be different. I remember

VEGITA: Too late.

> when we first met. It was during the war. ( Flashback)
> I was in the Air Force stationed in Drambui, off the
> Barbary coast. I used to hang out at the Magumba bar.

GOHAN: And if we cared, that would mean something!

> It was a rough place, the seediest dive on the wharf.
> Populated with every reject and cut-throat from Bombay
> to Calcutta. Its worse than Detroit. The mood in the
> place was downright ugly. You wouldn't walk in there
> unless you knew how to use your fists. You could count
> on a fight breaking out almost every night.

VEGITA: Human fighting, how quaint.
GOKU: Now Vegita, you know that not everyone can fly or use ki attacks like us.
VEGITA: I pity them.

> ( fight
> between two women breaks out. Chairs are crashed . . .)

GOHAN: Hey! A cat fight!
TRUNKS: Between two girl scouts?

> ( Saturday Night Fever music starts to play when juke
> box is clobbered

VEGITA: AHH! Not disco!

> I didn't go there that night to fall
> in love I just dropped in for a couple of drinks. But,
> suddenly there she was. I was captivated, entranced.
> It hit me like a thunderbolt.

GOKU: A pity it didn't kill him like one.

> I had to ask the
> guy next to me to pinch me to make sure I wasn't
> dreaming.

GOHAN <some extra>: Maybe later on in my appertment big boy. <THWAP> OUCH!
VEGITA: Don't ever make another comment like that again!

> I was afraid to approach her, but that
> night fate was on my side. ( The man Elaine is dancing
> with gets a knife in his back. He tries to ascertain
> help from Elaine by pointing with both hands at his
> back, but Elaine thinks that this is a new dance move

TRUNKS: Just how rock stupid is she?
GOHAN: Well, she did fall in love with Ted.
TRUNKS: Good point.

> and mimics him. He collapses and dies.

VEGITA: So much for your non-killing theory.
GOKU: Damn.

> Striker begins
> to dance disco style with Elaine, soon a crowd gathers
> to watch. Both Ted and Elaine dance in humanly
> impossible ways.

GOKU: So in other words, they're staying in sync with the rest of the movie.

> The crowd cheers. Next the bar is
> empty, and its the end of the night. Ted and Elaine
> are still there with the 2 fighting women. ( end
> flashback )

GOHAN: Thank God that's over!
TRUNKS: I pity the poor woman who had to sit through that.

> We laughed, we talked, we danced I never
> wanted it to end. I guess I still don't. But, enough
> about me, I hope this hasn't been boring for you.

ALL: IT WAS!

> Its
> just that whenever I talk about Elaine, I get so carried
> away, I loose all track of time. ( Oldlady has hung
> herself )

VEGITA <smirking>: Well, that's two dead in as many minutes. What do you think
of your odds now?
GOKU: Shut up.

>Elaine : Would you like to order dinner now?
>Father : Yes, Joey will have the steak and my wife and I will
> have the fish.
>Joey : When can I see the cockpit dad?

VEGITA: When Satan has to wear ice skates to work. Now shut up!

>Father :Joey, I think the pilots are probably too busy flying
> the plane for that.
>Joey : Awww, geee whiz!!!!!!!!!!
>Elaine : I'll tell you what Joey, I'll talk to the Captain and
> see what I can arrange.
>Joey : Gee, that'd be swell!

GOHAN: The role of Joey will be played by the Beaver.

>Elaine : Would you gentleman care to order your dinners?
>Jiveman1: Bet babe, slide a piece a da porter, drink si' run th'
> java.
>Subtitle: I WOULD LIKE THE STEAK PLEASE.
>Jiveman2: Lookie here, I can dig grease and butter on some
> draggin' fruit garden.
>Subtitle: I'LL HAVE THE FISH.

TRUNKS: That wasn't that bad.
GOKU: That just goes to show you that not even bad dubbing can screw up some
things.
<Saban over the PA>: Wanna bet?

>littlboy: Excuse me, I happened to be passing and I thought you
> might like some coffee.
>littgirl: Oh, that's very nice of you. Thank you. Oh, won't you
> sit down?
>Littlboy: Oh thank you. Cream?
>Littgirl: No thank you, I take it black . . . . . . like my men.

ALL: o_O
VEGITA: THE HELL?
GOKU: These kids are only like twelve!
GOHAN: I think these authors have some issues to deal with!
TRUNKS: I feel ill.

>Striker : Well, you see . . . ( to a different passenger --
> new flashback, reminiscent of the Blue Lagoon. )

VEGITA: Awwwwww crap! Not this again!
GOKU: This whole movie has been nothing but time fillers and flashbacks!
TRUNKS: Hence why it was sent up.

> Elaine: Oh TED! I never knew I could be so happy. These
> few months have been just wonderful.

GOHAN: They've been going at it that long? Don't you think they'd get a little
winded after the first week?
GOKU: Gohan.....

> Tomorrow,
> why don't we drive up the coast to that little
> seafood place and . . . what's the matter???

TRUNKS <Striker>: I've got a lobster in my shorts.

> Striker: My orders came through. My squadron ships out
> tomorrow, we're bombing the storage depots at
> Daiquiri at 18:00 hours. We're coming in from the
> North, below their radar.
> Elaine: When will you be back?

VEGITA <Elaine>: Please say never! Oh please, oh please, oh please!

> Striker: I can't tell you that? It's classified.
> Elaine: Ted, please be careful. I worry about you so much.
> Striker: I love you Elaine.
> Elaine: I love you!

ALL BUT VEGITA: Awwwwwwww.
VEGITA: Ugggggggg.

>( Return from flashback, the passenger stabs himself to death )

VEGITA: Gee Kakarott, if this keeps up EVERYONE is going to die!
GOKU: -_-

>Denver : Flight 2-0-9er, this is Denver flight control. You are
> approaching some rough weather. Please climb to 42,000
> feet.
>Oever : Roger, Denver.
>Elaine : We have a visitor. . .
>Oever : Hello.
>Murdock : Hi!
>Elaine : This is Captain Oever, Mr Murdock and Mr Basta. This
> is Joey Hammond. . .
>Oever : Well hi Joey.
>Murdock : Come on up here, you can see better.

GOHAN <Joey>: Hi! Ummm, shouldn't you be flying the plane or something?

>Oever : We have something here for our special visitors ( takes
> out a model airplane for Joey ), would you like to have
> it?
>Joey : Thank youuuuuuu! Thanks alot!
>Oever : Sure. You ever been in a cockpit before?
>Joey : No sir, I've never been up in a plane before.
>Oever : You ever . . . seen a grown man naked ?

ALL: O_o
TRUNKS <grim>: The role of Captain Oever will be played by Michael Jackson.
OTHERS: NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

>Murdock : Do you want me to check the weather Clarence?
>Oever : No, why don't you take care of it. Joey, did ya
> ever hang around a gymnasium?

GOHAN: Uh, this Oever guy is starting to creep me out.

>Elaine : We'd better get back now Joey!
>Oever : Noooooooo, Joey can stay here for a while if he'd
> like.
>Joey : Could I?

GOKU: NO! Run while you still can!

>Elaine : Okay, if you don't get in the way.
>Murdock : Flight 2-0-9er to Denver radio, climbing to cruise
> at 42,000. Will report again over Lincoln. Over and
> out.
>Joey : Wait a minute! I know you. You're Kareem Abdul-Jabar.
> You played basketball for the Los Angeles Lakers.

GOKU: True, but he's acting as someone else here, so tecnically your wrong.
VEGITA: That's what happens when you hire inexperienced kids for a movie.
TRUNKS: But this is the script!
GOKU & VEGITA: -_-

>Murdock : I'm sorry son, but you must have me confused with some-
> one else. My name is Roger Murdock. I'm the co-pilot.
>Joey : You are Kareem! I've seen you play. My dad's got
> season tickets.
>Murdock : I think you should go back to your seat now Joey.

GOHAN: Preferably before he crushes the fourth wall.

> Right Clarence?
>Oever : Nahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, he's not bothering anyone, let him
> stay here.
>Murdock : But just remember, my name is ROGER MURDOCK. I'm an
> airline pilot.
>Joey : I think you're the greatest, but my dad says you don't
> work hard enough on defence. And he says that lots of
> times, you don't even run down court. And that you
> don't really try . . . except during the playoffs.
>Murdock : The hell I don't!!

GOKU <Murdock>: D'OH!

> ( grabs joey by collar ) LISTEN KID!
> I've been hearing that crap ever since I was at UCLA.
> I'm out there busting my buns every night. Tell your
> old man to drag Walton and Denier up and down the
> court for 48 minutes.

TRUNKS: We have total break of character!
VEGITA: So much for the fourth wall.

>Oever : Joey, do you like movies about gladiators?

GOHAN: This guy is REALLY starting to creep me out!

>Striker : Elaine, just hear me out. I know things haven't been
> right for a long time, but it'll be different. like
> it was in the beginning, remember?

GOKU <Elaine>: I'm trying not to.

>Elaine : I remember everything. All I have are memories.
> Mostly, I remember the nights when we were together.
> I remember how you used to hold me and... how I used
> to sit on your face and wiggle

ALL: Sayyyyyyyy.....

> and...afterwards how
> we'd watch 'til the sun came up. When it did, it was
> almost like . . . like . . . each new day was made
> only for us.

GOHAN: Actually, each new day occurs because the Earth spins. As much as you
like to think so, it has nothing to do with you.

>Striker : That's the way I've always wanted it to be Elaine.
>Elaine : But it won't be . . . not as long as you insist on
> living in the past.
>( Striker flashes back -- )

ALL: ARRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHH!!!!!

> Voice: You're too low Ted . . . YOU'RE TOO LOW!

TRUNKS: I got the blues, so bad. Uh-huh.
GOKU: Stolen MST3K riff number 2!

>
>
>
>
>( Now in military mental hospital. Random mental hospital
>conversation has been skipped. Striker is painting a picture of
>a guy in the middle of an explosion )
> Doctor : Okay Robert, slip em down, this won't hurt much . .

VEGITA <Doctor>: I won't feel a thing!

> Elaine : You got a telegram from headquarters today.
> Striker: HEADQUARTERS?!? What is it?
> Elaine : Well, its a big building where generals meet. But
> that's not important right now.

TRUNKS: Annoyance level........ Rising.

> They've cleared
> you of any blame for what happened in that raid.

GOHAN <Striker>: I KNEW that bribe would work!

> Isn't that good news?
> Striker: Is it? Because of my mistake 6 men didn't return
> from that raid.
> Elaine : 7, Lieutenant Zip died this morning. . . ( Striker
> spits out drink ) The Doctor says you'll be out in
> a week, isn't that wonderful?

GOKU: You get the feeling that Elaine is compleatly oblivious to the world
around her?

> Striker: Wish I could say the same for George Zip.
> Elaine : Be patient Ted, nobody expects you to get over this
> immediately.
> Subject: Hey Striker, How bout a break, I'm getting tired.
> Striker: Yeah, alright. Take 5. ( We see that the subject
> has been standing in a contorted stance with an
> explosion backdrop exactly mimicking the painting
> Striker has been working on )

VEGITA: This is boring me to hell!
GOKU: Hang in there just a little longer.

> Elaine: I have found a wonderful apartment for us. It has
> a brick fireplace and a cute little bedroom with
> mirrors on the ceiling and . . .
> Jeleen : Red leader, Red Leader . . . I'm goin' down (
> makes gunner noises )

TRUNKS: Start your run with out me, and watch out for those damn TIE fighters!

> Striker: Captain Jeleen. He thinks he's a pilot still
> fighting the war.
> Jeleen : I've found the tunnel Johnson!! Its this way $25
> for a cigarette is too much!
> Herwitz: Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.... uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...
> Elaine : What's his problem?
> Striker: Its Lt. Herwitz. Severe shell shock. Thinks he's
> Ethel Merman.

[All shudder]

GOHAN: Poor guy, that shouldn't happen to anyone.

> ( We cut back to herwitz, but he is now replaced with the
> real Ethel Merman )

ALL: GUH!

> Herwitz: You'lllllll be swell...
> You'll be great...
> Gonna have the whole world on a plate.

ALL: SHUT IT UP!

> Startin' here.
> Startin' now.
> Honey, everything's coming up rosseehhhhhhhhsss.
> ( He ( she ) faints )

ALL: THANK YOU!

> Striker: War is hell.

VEGITA: If that's the result, I'd agree compleatly with that statement.

>( Meanwhile back on the plane )
>Attendnt: Would you like some coffee before we serve dinner?
>Striker : No, no thank you.
>Attendnt: Would either of you like another cup of coffee?
>Mother2 : I will, but Jim won't.
>Father : I think I will have another cup of coffee.
>Mother2 : ( To herself in an echo voice ) Jim never has a
> second cup at home.

GOHAN: So? Who give's a rat's ass about what he does at home?

>Attendnt: Excuse me sister . . .
>Nun : Yeahhhs?
>Attendnt: There's little girl on board up front who's ill and ..
>Nun : Oh, yes. I saw, poor child.

VEGITA: Heh, get ready to pay up Kakarott!
GOKU: It's not going to happen! At least..... I don't think it's going to
happen.

>Attendnt: Could I borrow your guitar . . . I think maybe I could
> cheer her up.
>Nun : Of course.
>Attendnt: Ohhhh.... thank you. ( She drags guitar across the
> passengers heads )

TRUNKS: BONK! Ow! BONK! Ow! BONK! Ow! CRUNCH! Owwwwww...... THUD!

>Attendnt: Hi!
>Mother : Hi!
>Attendnt: Do you mind if I talk to your daughter?

ALL: YES!

>Mother : No I think that'd be nice.
>Attendnt: Hi, I'm Randy.
>Dyingirl: I'm Lisa . . . YOU HAVE A GUITAAAAR!

VEGITA <Lisa>: You've come to torture me haven't you?

>Attendnt: Uh, huh! I thought maybe you'd like to hear a song.
>Dyingirl: I'd love too!
>Attendnt: Okay. Let's see, uh... this is one of my favorites!

GOKU: No one shall be seated during the intense singing scene!

> I've traveled the banks of the river of Jordan
> To find where it flows to the sea
> I looked in the eyes of the cold and the hungry
> And I saw that I was looking at meeeeeee.
> And I wanted to know if life had a purpose

GOHAN: Nope. It's all pretty much useless stuff that has no meaning.

> And what it all means in the end

TRUNKS: Well...... You're born, life sucks, and then you die. Did I leave
anything out?

[All look strangely at Trunks]

TRUNKS: What?

> In the silence I listened to voices inside me
> And they told me again and again.

VEGITA <voices>: You suck! Go away!

> There is only one river ( Knocks IV out of Lisa's
> arm with guitar but doesn't notice )

GOKU: NANI?!

> There is only one sea
> And it flows through you
> And it flows through me ( Lisa is having conniptions
> about her IV as if about to die )

VEGITA: Looks like you lose Kakarott! Pay up!
GOKU: No way! She's not dead yet!

> There is only one people
> We are one in the same ( The whole plane begins to
> clap along )
> We are all one spirit
> One naaaaaaaaaaaammmme.
> We are the father ( Mother notices the IV is out and starts > reviving Lisa )

GOKU: Phew! I knew they wouldn't do it! I'm safe!
VEGITA: But you're not out of the kill zone yet.

> We are one.
> We are one.
> We are one.
>Oever : Little late tonight. We've been waiting for you.
>Elaine : Who wants to be first?

GOHAN <Elaine>: I charge $200 an hour. S&M is an extra $150. <THWAP> OW! That's
starting to get annoying!
GOKU: What's with you? You never act like this!
GOHAN: Up here I don't have to worry about incurring the wrath of mom.
GOKU: .......
VEGITA: He has a point! I never even thought of that! I can say whatever I want
without Bulma yelling at me!
GOKU: Great. Now I have two of them to deal with!

>Murdock : Go ahead Clarence, I got 'er.
>Elaine : How's the weather?
>Murdock : Not so good. We've got some heavy stuff ahead of us.
> It might get rough again unless we can climb on top.

GOKU: No hentai jokes about being on top!
GOHAN & VEGITA: Damn.

>Striker : ( To a guy in a turban ) Yeah, after the war, I just
> wanted to get as far away from things as possible.

ALL: NOOOOOO!
TRUNKS: Another flashback!

> Elaine and I joined the Peace Corps. We were assigned
> to an isolated tribe: the Malumbos.

VEGITA <Striker>: Unfortunatly they never told us that they were a canabal
tribe.

> ( Flashback to
> African tribe ) They'd never seen Americans before.

TRUNKS <random canabal>: Ooooh, white meat!

> Striker : It was really a challenge during the year
> introducing them to our western culture.
> At first they didn't know what to think
> of us,

GOHAN: But eventually they ended up hating them along with everyone else!

> but soon we gained their trust.
> Elaine : It will help you better prepare and store
> foods for the up and coming Monsoon months.
> Also, Supperware products are ideal for storing
> leftovers to help stretch your food dollar.

GOKU: So they're trying to sell supperware products to an isolated African
tribe.......... Is it just me or does this get stupider by the second?
GOHAN: Nope, this thing has been going downhill ever since the the first word.

> This
> 2 quart Sealz-em Right container will keep hot dog
> buns fresh for days.

TRUNKS: I'd just like to point out that this is an *ISOLATED* tribe that has
never even heard of hot dogs, let alone the buns. Thank you.

> Striker : You must understand, these people had been
> completely isolated from civilization. No one
> had ever outlined a physical fitness program
> for them and they had no athletic equipment.

VEGITA: Then explain why they're all in beter shape than you are!

> I started them on simple calisthenics and slowly
> worked them up to rudimentary game skills. And
> finally, advanced competitive theory. I was
> patient with them and they were eager to learn.
> they seemed to enjoy themselves. It was probably
> due to the advanced American techniques that we
> were able to bridge the generations of isolation
> communicate so successfully with Mulambos.
> ( The Mulambos start to play basketball like pros)

GOKU: So after only one lesson, everyone surpasses the teacher?
GOHAN: Well, this is Striker we're talking about.
GOKU: Good point.

> I think they're finally getting the hang of it
> when we re-enlist, I'll teach them baseball.
> Elaine : Ted, I don't want to stay here, its time for us
> to go back home to the plans we made before the
> war.
>Striker : Alot of people made plans before the war . . .
> like George Zip. It was at that moment that I
> first realized Elaine had doubts about our
> relationship.

VEGITA: Oh, so she finally realized what a loser you are.

> And that as much as anything else
> led to my drinking problem ( He pours his drink
> on himself.) We did come back to the states, I tried
> a number of jobs . . . well, I could go on for hours,
> but I would probably start to bore you.

ALL: NO SHIT SHERLOCK!

> ( Guy in
> turban pulls out knife and points it to his heart )

VEGITA <chanting>: Do iiiiiiiiiit, do iiiiiiiiiit.........

> I really couldn't blame Elaine ( Guy stabs himself
> and moans ) she wanted a career.

GOKU: Not one word Vegita.
VEGITA <smirking>: What? I wasn't going to say anything.

>Oldlady2: Uhhhhhhhh...... I can't stand it. Ohhhhhhh.

TRUNKS <Oldlady>: Why did I agree to be a part of this?

>Elaine : Yes?
>Oldlady2: Oh... its my stomach. I haven't felt this aweful since
> we saw that Ronald Reagan film. uhh.
>Elaine : I'll see if I can find some Dramamine. ( Goes to
> cockpit ) Captain, one of the woman passengers is
> very sick.
>Oever : Airsick?

GOHAN: No, she's sick of being in the movie.

>Elaine : I think so, but I've never seen it so acute.
>Oever : Find out if there's a doctor on board as quietly as
> you can. . . Joey . . . have you ever been in a, a
> Turkish prison?

TRUNKS: It's official, Joey is going to need therapy after this movie is over.

>Father : Ohhhhhhhhhh, I shouldn't have had that second cup of
> coffee. ( he vomits )
>Mother2 : ( In echo voice ) Jim never vomits at home.

GOKU: I think the writers made this movie as a tribute to the almighty time
filer!

>Elaine : I'm sorry I had to wake you, I'm just looking for a
> doctor, there's nothing to worry about.
>Woman3 : Stewardess, I think the man sitting next to me is
> a Doctor.

VEGITA: I wonder if the stethoscope around his neck tiped her off?

>Elaine : Sir, excuse me sir, I am sorry I have to wake you,
> sir, are you a doctor?
>Rumack : That's right.
>Elaine : We have some passengers that are very sick, could you
> come take a look at them?

GOHAN <Rumack>: NO! Let me get back to sleep bitch!

>Rumack : Yes, of course. . . ( To sick woman ) Let me see your
> tongue. ( eggs begin to come out of her mouth. Rumack
> cracks one and a bird flys out ) I'll be back in a
> minute. ( To Elaine )

VEGITA <Rumack>: She's screwed.

> You'd better tell the Captain we've got to land as soon
> as possible, we've got to get them to the hospital. . .
>Elaine : A hospital . . what is it?

TRUNKS: Here it comes.

>Rumack : Its a big building with patients, but that's not
> important right now.

TRUNKS: Told you.
GOKU: Feeling bored?
TRUNKS <sarcastic>: Naaaaaaaaaah.

> Tell the captain I must speak
> to him.
>Elaine : Certainly.
>( Victor is getting sick )

GOHAN: ...of the movie.

>Oever : Victor, we're running into some heavy weather . . .
> can you ( Victor passes out ) Roger! Take OVER!

GOKU: Lucky guy.
TRUNKS: What do you mean 'lucky guy'? He passed out!
GOKU: Exactly. He got out of the movie.

>Rumack : Captain, how soon can you land?
>Oever : I can't tell.
>Rumack : You can tell me, I'm a doctor.

GOHAN: Oh no.

>Oever : NO, I mean I'm just not sure.
>Rumack : Well, can't you take a guess?
>Oever : Well, not for another 2 hours.
>Rumack : You can't take a guess for another 2 hours?

GOHAN: Et tu Leslie?
TRUNKS: I warned you.

>Oever : No, no, no. I mean we can't land for another 2 hours
> fog has closed down everything this side of the
> mountains. We've got to get through to Chicago.
>
>????????????
> : What is it doctor?
>Rumack : I'm not sure. I haven't seen anything like this since
> the Anita Bryant concert. What was it we had for
> dinner tonight?
>Elaine : Well, we had a choice, steak or fish.
>Rumack : Yes, yes, I remember, I had lasagna.

GOKU: Where did he get that?
GOHAN: Mr. Neilson always carries a personal plot contriviance bag to get what
he likes in any movie he's filming.
GOKU: Really?
GOHAN: No. It's just another cheap attempt at humor.

> What did he have?
>Elaine : Fish . . .
>Attendnt: Doctor, there are 2 more sick people and the rest of
> the passengers are worried.
>Rumack : I'll go take care of the passengers.

VEGITA <immitates polishing a gun>: Yes, I'll take GOOD care of them. Heh heh
heh. Bwhahahahahah. MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

> Find out what the
> two sick people had for dinner.
>Oever : This is Captain Oever speaking, been a little bumpy up
> here, but we'll be past it in a couple minutes. A few
> points of interest we are now flying over Hoover damn
> and a little later on, we'll pass just to the south of
> the Grand Canyon. Meanwhile, relax and enjoy your
> flight, okay? CHICAGO: THIS IS FLIGHT 2-0-9er. . .
> We're in trouble, we've got to have all traffic below
> us cleared. I want a priority approach and landing in
> Chicago.

TRUNKS <Chicago flight controler>: Well you can't have it. Other people need to
use this runway you know!

>Mother2: Stewardess, my husband is very sick can you do
> something please?

GOKU <stewardess>: I'll call a hentai suport group.

>Elaine : Well, the doctor will be with you in just a moment.
> One thing, do you know what he had for dinner?
>Mother2 : Yes, of course, we both had fish. Why?
>Elaine : Oh, its nothing to be alarmed about. We'll be back to
> you very quickly.

VEGITA <Elaine, to herself>: They're screwed.

>Elaine : Dr Rumack, Mr Hammond ate fish, and Randy said there
> five more cases and they all had fish too.
>Rumack : And the Co-Pilot had fish, what did the navigator have?
>Elaine : He had fish.
>Rumack : Alright, now we know what we're up against. Every
> passenger on this flight who had fish for dinner will
> become violently ill in the next half hour ( Oever
> notices he had fish and begins to come down with the
> symptoms as they are described )

ALL: D'OH!

>Elaine : Just how serious is it Doctor?
>Rumack : Extremely serious. It starts with a slight fever and
> dryness of the throat. When the virus penetrates the
> red blood cells, the victim becomes dizzy begins to
> experience an itchy rash, then the poison goes to work
> on the central nervous system, severe muscle spasms
> followed by the inevitable drooling.

GOHAN: Someone want to get this guy a napkin?

> At this point,
> the entire digestive system collapses accompanied by > uncontrollable
flatulence ( Oever begins to fart )

VEGITA: Someone light a match! Hopefuly the plane will explode!

> Until finally, the poor bastard is reduced to a
> quivering wasted piece of jelly.

TRUNKS: I hope they don't take THAT literaly as well!

>Oever : Au--to--ma-tic pi-lot.

GOKU: He's come down with a terminal case of poor Shatner speak!

>Elaine : ( Searches for button ) Automatic pilot, automatic
> pilot, there it is . . . ( Otto begins to inflate)

GOHAN: So a balloon is flying the plane then?
VEGITA: Probably safer than having Oever at the controls.

>Rumack : I'll go back to the passengers.

GOKU <Rumack>: I'm sure everyone will be glad to know that the lives of everyone
on the plane lies in the inflated hands of a balloon.

>Chicago: Come in 2-0-9er, this is Chicago. Flight 2-0-9er,
> come in.
>Elaine : This is Elaine Dickenson, I'm the stewardess,
> Captain Oever has passed out on the floor and
> the co-pilot and navigator too. We're in
> terrible trouble, over.

TRUNKS: Huh? They never mentioned that Murdock passed out!
GOHAN: Poor guy must have fallen into a plot hole.

>MCrosky: Roger, Elaine, Roger. I read you. This is Steve
> McCrosky at Chicago air control, Back to you in
> a minute ( To Tower ) Hold all takeoffs, I don't
> want another plane in the air. When the 508
> reports, bring it straight in. Put out a general
> bulletin to suspend meal service on flights out
> of Los Angeles. Tell all dispatchers to remain at
> their posts, its gonna be long night.

GOKU: We know. Any longer and we..... Oh, he ment for them.

> How bout
> some coffee Johnny?
>Johnny : NO THANKS!
>MCrosky: I want the weather on every landing field this side
> of the line, no matter what the size. Do you
> understand? Anyplace, anyplace where there's a
> chance to land that plane. ( To Siamese twins )
> Stan, go up stairs to the tower and get a runway
> diagram. Terry, check down the field for emergency> equipment.

VEGITA: <Immitates sound of flesh being torn apart.>
GOHAN & TRUNKS <twins>: AHHHHHHHHHHHH!

>Airdude: Chief we got fog right down to the deck, every
> place east of the Rockies. There's no possible
> place to land, they'll have to come through to
> Chicago.

GOHAN <MCrosky>: Oh, just route them into a mountain then. I want to go home
already!

>MCrosky: Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit smoking.
> I want the best available man on this, a man who
> knows that plane inside and out and won't crack
> under pressure.
>Johnny : How 'bout Mr Rogers?

VEGITA: If he shows up, I'm leaving.

>MCrosky: Get me REX KRAMER! Elaine, right next to the throttle >is the air
speed gauge. What speed does it indicate?
>Elaine : 520 miles per hour.
>MCrosky: Good now, check your altitude. That's the dial just
> below and to the right of the air speed indicator.
>Elaine : 35,000 feet. NO wait, 34,000 feet . . . NO WAIT,

GOKU <Elaine>: Is it bad when the "Make peace with God" sign lights up?

> its dropping. Its dropping fast, why's it doing
> that? Oh my god, the automatic pilot, its
> deflating.

TRUNKS: That's why most airlines use a computer instead of a balloon for their
automatic pilot.

>MCrosky: Don't panic, on the belt line of the automatic pilot
> there's a tube, now that is the manual inflation
> nozzle. Take it out and blow on it.

GOHAN: Should we be seeing this?
VEGITA: I think Auto got the best deal out of everyone in his contract.
GOHAN: Which just goes to prove that, even if you're just a balloon, if you're
self inserted you can get ANYTHING.
TRUNKS <turning green>: Can we please talk about something else?

>Passngr: What the hell's going on up there?

VEGITA: Well, the stewardess is giving the balloon that's flying the plane a
blow job. Any other questions?

>Rumack : Elaine?
>Elaine : Yes, Doctor.

GOHAN <Runack>: Can I be next?
GOKU: GOHAN!

>Rumack : Elaine, you're a member of this crew. Can you face
> a few unpleasant facts?
>Elaine : NO.
>Rumack : Alright, unless I get those people to a hospital
> quickly, I can't even be sure of saving their lives.

TRUNKS <Elaine>: Oh is that all. Who cares?

> Now, is there anyone on board who can land this
> plane?
>Elaine : Well, no, no one I know of.
>Rumack : I think you ought to know what are chances are. The
> life of everyone on board depends on one thing:
> finding someone on board who can not only fly this
> plane, but who didn't have fish for dinner.

GOHAN: I see where this is going, and I know I'm going to hate it.

>Elaine : Ladies and gentleman, this is your stewardess speaking
> We regret any inconvenience the sudden cabin movement
> might have caused this is due to periodic airpockets we
> encountered.

VEGITA: So the blow job you gave Auto had nothing to do with it?
GOKU: VEGITA!

> There's no reason to be alarmed and we hope
> you enjoy the rest of your flight. By the way, is there
> anyone on board who knows how to fly a plane?

TRUNKS <sarcasm on high>: Way to go Elaine, you covered that up REEEEAL good!

>( PANDEMONIUM ENSUES, EVERYONE RUNS EVERYWHERE . . .)
>( Back at Rex's house )
>Paul : Hello, I am Paul Puree from the airline, I'm here to
> pick up Captain Kramer.
>MsKramr: Oh, yes come in Paul, Rex will be right out.
>Dog : Ruff, Ruff ( starts to grab paul's leg)

GOHAN: Oh man, do really need to see the dog get it on with the guy's leg?

>MsKramr: Shep, sit. So, I understand you all have a real
> emergency down there.
>Paul : Yes, something like that, but as I said, they didn't
> have time to ( tries to get dog off leg ) tell me
> very much. Ahhhh.
>MsKramr: Shep, no. I'll bet you have exciting things happen all
> the time down there.
>Paul : Well, the airline business does have its moments ( still
> trying to get rid of dog ) but after a while you get
> used to it.
>MsKramr: Shep! Come.

GOHAN: Or better yet, don't. PLEASE don't
GOKU: Do you need a time out?

> He gets so excited when new people are
> here. Are you a pilot yourself?
>Paul : NO, (ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh) I am in a training program. . .
>Kramer : Its unbelievable, just unbelievable, you know how many
> times I've warned them about food inspection.
>MsKramr: You'd think after all these years someone would listen
> to you ( dog and Paul wrestling in background)
>Kramer : Airport management, the FAA and the airlines. They're
> all cheats and liars. Alright, lets get outta here.

GOKU <Kramer>: Fools! How dare they not listen to my infinite wisdom!

>Attndnt: I'm sorry to bother you, I was just looking for someone
> with flying experience.
>Striker: When they built those roads they had no thought of
> drainage in mind, so we had to take a special jeep

TRUNKS <on the virge of tears>: Why? Why won't he ever shut up?
VEGITA <slaps Trunks in the back of the head>: Snap out of it! You're a
Saiya-jin, so act like one!
GOKU: Vegita's right, don't let Saban win!
TRUNKS: You're right. I can handle this!

> up to the main road. In fact, we were lucky to even
> get a jeep since just the day before the only one we
> had broke down, had a bad axle. ( The passenger
> next to him douses himself in gasoline and lights
> a match, then pauses while stewardess talks to
> Striker )

TRUNKS: Buddy, I know exactly how you feel!

>Attndnt: Excuse me sir, there's been a little problem in the
> cockpit . . .
>Striker: The cockpit . . . what is it?
>Attndnt: Its the little room in the front of the plane where the
> pilots sit, but that's not important now.

GOHAN: Just how dead is this joke?
TRUNKS: Deader than Elvis.

> You see the
> first officer is ill and the Captain need someone to
> help him with the radio. Do you know anything about
> planes?

ALL: Please no flashback! Please no flashback!

>Striker: Well, I flew in the war,

ALL: REALLY!?

> but that was years ago, I
> wouldn't know anything about it.
>Attndnt: Won't you go up, please? ( Striker agrees, passenger
> next to him blows out match, but blows himself up
> accidently anyway )

GOHAN: D'OH!

[Vegita simply smirks at Goku.]

>Striker: The stewardess said . . . BOTH PILOTS????????
>Rumack : Can fly this plane?

VEGITA: Yes, the pilots usually CAN fly the plane.

>Striker: Surely you can't be serious?
>Rumack : I am serious, and don't call me Shirley!
>Attndnt: Doctor, I've checked everyone. Mr. Striker is the
> only one.

GOKU: They must really be desperate!

>Rumack : What flying experience have you had?
>Striker: I flew single engine fighters in the Air Force,
> but this plane has four engines. Its an entirely
> different kind of flying, altogether.

ALL: It's an entirely different kind of flying.

>All Together: Its a entirely different kind of flying.

ALL: ........
GOHAN: Did they hear us?

>Striker: Besides, I haven't touched any kind of plane in six
> years.
>
>
>
>
>Rumack : Mr. Striker, I know nothing about flying, but there's
> one thing I do know: You're the only one on this plane
> who can possibly fly it, you're the only chance we've
> got.(Little statue of Jesus burys its head in its hands)

VEGITA: Yep, that about sums it all up.
TRUNKS: You know you're screwed when.....

>
>MCrosky: NO, that's right, that's what I said . . . tell them all
> to acknowledge and stand-by. Get me every piece of
> emergency equipment you can reach. Alert rescue units
> every mile of the way, from here to the rockies.
> : Chief . . .

GOKU <MCrosky>: What is it voice?

>MCrosky: We'll need a pre-landing flight check, tell 'em I want
> it in the dispatch office and tell 'em I want it here
> fast.
>Towergy: Its your wife.

GOHAN <MCrosky>: AHHHHH! RUN!

>MCrosky: ( To wife ) I want the kids in bed by nine, the dog
> fed, the yard watered and the gate locked. And get a
> note to the milkman NO MORE CHEESE! CLICK! Where the
> hell's Kramer?

TRUNKS: On Seinfeld.

>Kramer : No, we can't do that, the risk of a flame out is too
> great, leave 'em at 24,000 . . . no, feet. One of the
> passengers is gonna land that plane.
>Paul : Is that possible?
>Kramer : Possible,

VEGITA <Kramer>: Well, no.

> its a 100-1 shot. ( Car hits a cyclist )

TRUNKS <Kramer>: Ha HA! Got him!

>Kramer : I know this guy.
>Paul : You do?
>Cyclist: Asssss-hole!

GOHAN: Yup, that's our opinion of Striker as well.

>Paul : Who is it?
>Kramer : Name is Ted Striker, I flew with him during the war,

GOKU <Kramer>: What the hell was I thinking?

> it won't make my job any easier tonight. Ted Striker
> was a crack flight leader, up to a point. He was one
> of those men who, lets say, felt to much inside,

VEGITA: His pants?

> maybe
> you know the kind. Went all to pieces on one particular
> mission, lets just hope that doesn't happen tonight.
>Striker: Lets see. Altitude, 24,000 feet... level flight, speed
> 520 knots. Course, 0-9er-0, trim, mixture, wash, rinse,
> spin . . .
>Elaine : Ted, what are you doing here? You can't fly this plane!

TRUNKS: Hey! The voice of reason makes an apperance!

>Striker: That's what I've been trying to tell these people.
>Rumack : Elaine, I don't have time to say this gently so I'll be
> very direct everyone on this plane is in a desperate
> situation, Mr. Striker is the only hope we've got.

GOHAN: And what's wrong with the auto pilot?

>Striker: Those are the flaps, this is the thrust, this must turn
> on the landing lights ( Plane starts to nose dive when
> that knob is turned ) Mayday, mayday, mayday.
>MCrosky: MAYDAY? What the hell does that mean?

GOKU: It's something pilots like to yell when they're in trouble.

>Johnny : Mayday? Why that's the Russian New Year. You know,
> we'll have a big parade, we'll serve hot hor'doevres . .
>Oldlady: I can't stand it anymore, I've got to get outta here.
> I've gotta get outta here.

TRUNKS: We share your pain.

>Elaine : Calm down get ahold of yourself.
>Gentlmn: Stewardess, please, let me handle this ( grabs her and
> starts to shake her )

GOHAN: Oh yes, nothing calms me down faster than some stranger shaking me around
like a rag doll.

>Gntlmn2: Calm down, now get back to your seat, I'll take care of
> this. CALM DOWN, GET AHOLD OF YOURSELF <SLAP>!

VEGITA: Oh this is much better! Why don't they just shover her out of the
plane!?

>Nun : Mr, your wanted on the phone . . . Everything's going
> to be alright < SLAP >! Please.
>Gntlmn3: Sister, I'll handle this. < SLLLLLLLAAAAAAAAPPP >
>( There is now a line of people with baseball bats and whips
>waiting to help the woman )

GOHAN: OH! I compleatly forgot about that!
VEGITA: Yes, the best way to eliviate stress and clam someone down!
GOKU: What's that?
GOHAN & VEGITA: S&M.
OTHERS: <groan>

>Zealot5: Excuse me, we'd like you to have this flower ( Kramer
> punches the man )

ALL: Thank you!
VEGITA: I absolutly hate those guys!

>Zealot6: Excuse me sir, would you . . . ( Kramer pushes him out
> of the way )
>Zealot7: Donations for the Reverend Moon? ( Kramer punches him )
>Zealot8: Jews for Jesus? ( Crack ! ) Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...

VEGITA: I think I found my favorite character in the movie!

>Zealot9: Read about Jehovah's witness? ( Kramer kicks him )

ALL: BOOT TO THE HEAD!

>Zealt10: How about Buddhism? ( Whack! )
>Zealt11: Help Jerry's kids? ( punch! )
>Zealt12: Scientology?
>Zealt13: Avoid nuclear power? ( Bap ! Bop ! )

TRUNKS: Seeing this scene almost makes the rest of the movie worth it.
GOKU: Though they could do without the lame special effects from the old Batman
show.

>Announc: Your attention please! No Frills passengers no arriving
> please have your baggage claim checks ready to show the
> attendant upon leaving the terminal. ( Passengers are
> coming down the conveyer belt for luggage )

ALL <writers>: Praise the almighty time filler! Accept this offering of burning
scripts from good movies as a sign of your total domination over us!

>Kramer : I know but this guy has no flying experience at'all.
> He's a menace to himself and everything else in the
> air. . . yes, birds too.

VEGITA: I'm begining to really like this guy. When we get back to Earth, he can
live.

>MCrosky: Okay, okay, he's a terrible risk, but what other choice
> have we got? That's the whole story there Rex,
> everything we know.

GOHAN: Which isn't very much.

>Kramer : Alright Steve, lets face a few facts. As you know I
> flew with this man during the war. He's going to
> have enough on his mind without worrying about those
> times when . . . when things weren't so good.
>MCrosky: Right now, things aren't so good.

TRUNKS <Kramer>: Oh, in that case they're all dead. Who wants lunch?

>Kramer : Let me tell you something Steve, Ted Striker was a
> top notch squadron leader a long time ago.

GOKU: Unfortunatly, now he's an idiot who doesn't know how to shut up and drives
everyone around him to suicide!

>MCrosky: I want you to get on the horn and talk that guy down
> Now, you're going to have to let him get the feel of
> that airplane, and you'll have to talk him on to the
> approach. So help me, you'll have to talk him right
> down to the ground. ( Crash )

VEGITA: And enclosed within those brackets is something we expect to see very
shortly.

>Kramer : Very well, put Striker on the speaker.
>MCrosky: Use my radio there. Looks like I picked the wrong week
> to quit drinking. ( gulp )
>Towergy: Now, you can work 'im direct from here, Captain.
>Kramer : Thanks. Striker . . . Striker, this is Captain Rex
> Kramer speaking.
>Striker: YES, -CAPTAIN- Kramer, I read you loud and clear.
>Kramer : Alright, its obvious you remember me. What do you
> say you and I just forget about everything except
> what we have to do now.

TRUNKS <Striker>: Ok. There goes all my childhood memories, bye bye tap dancing
lessons, there goes everything I learned at flight school.... OH SHIT!

>Striker: Lets not kid each other _Kramer_ you know I've never
> flown a bucket like this. I'm gonna need all the
> luck there is.
>Kramer : Standby Striker. Our one hope is to build this man
> up, I've got to give him all the confidence I can.

GOKU <Kramer>: Which isn't much when you consider how big of a screw up he is!

> Striker- have you ever flown a multi-engine plane
> before?
>Striker: NO, never.
>Kramer : ( TO McCrosky thinking that the radio to Striker is off)
> SHIT! This is a God damned waste of time, there's no
> way he can land that plane.

GOKU: Damn, who knew how dead on that was?

>MCrosky: (Radio is still on) Grab ahold of yourself, you gotta
> talk him down, you gotta.
>Kramer : We ought to route him in Lake Michigan, at least we'll
> avoid killing innocent people.

VEGITA: Aww, but a mountain would make such a better explosion!
GOKU: NO! They can't do that! They have to land safely!

[All cast worried glances at Goku.]

GOKU: Cause I don't want to lose my bet with Vegita!

[All breath a sigh of relief.]

>MCrosky: You're the only chance they've got.
>Kramer : Alright, Striker, you listen and listen close flying a
> plane is no different from riding a bicycle, just alot
> harder to put baseball cards in the spokes. Now, first
> I want you to get the feel of the plane. Later, we'll
> run down the landing procedure. Now, I want you to
> disengage the automatic pilot . . . watch that you don't
> make any violent control movements like you did in the
> fighter planes.
>Striker : Alright, I'm going to unlock the automatic pilot.

TRUNKS: ...and kill everyone abord the plane.

>Kramer : Now just remember the controls will feel very heavy
> compared to a fighter. Don't worry about that its
> perfectly normal. ( Plane starts to nosedive and
> passengers begin to panic )

GOHAN <Kramer>: But sending the plane into a nosedive ISN'T normal! Give the
plane back to the automatic pilot!

> Now one more thing,
> is there somebody there who can work the radio
> and leave you free for flying?
>Striker : Yes, the stewardess is here with me.

VEGITA: I don't know. If she gives him the same assistance she gave Auto, flying
the plane will probably be the LAST thing on his mind!

>Kramer : Good, have her sit in the co-pilot's seat.
>Striker : Elaine, he wants you to sit in the co-pilot's seat.
>Passengr: What's going on? We have a right to know the truth!

GOKU: Well, the pilots are all sick, the auto pilot has been disengaged, and the
person flying the plane is the same person that has been driving many of you to
suicide. Happy now?

>Rumack : Alright, I'm going to level with you all. The most
> important thing now is that you remain calm. There's
> no reason to panic ( his nose starts to grow ). Now,
> it is true that one of the crew members is ill,
> slightly ill, but the other two pilots are just fine,
> they're at the controls, flying the plane, free to
> pursue a life of religious fulfillment.

[All make coughing sounds that sound like bullshit.]

>Striker : The radio's all yours now. And keep an eye on that
> number 3 engine gauge over there, its running a
> little hot ( sign flashes "a little hot" )

TRUNKS: Little do they know that the light on the "Engine on Fire!" sign, which
should have been flashing for the past ten minutes, has burnt out.

>Kramer : Striker, before we start, I'd like to say something.
> I know that right now things must look pretty rough
> up there, but if you do what I tell you, when I tell
> you to do it, there's no reason why you shouldn't
> have complete confidence in your chances to come out
> of this thing alive and in one piece.

GOKU <Kramer>: After all, I AM God.

> Striker, what
> kind of weather are you in up there?
>Elaine : Rain!
>Striker: And a little ice.
>Elaine : And a little ice.
>Kramer : How's it handling?
>Striker: Sluggish, like a wet sponge.
>Elaine : Sluggish, like a wet sponge.

GOHAN: How are you doing?
VEGITA: Bored, with an urge to kill something.
TRUNKS: Bored, with an urge to kill something.

>Kramer : Alright, Striker, your doing just fine.
>Striker: Its a damn good thing he doesn't know how much I hate
> his guts.
>Elaine : Its a damn good thing you don't know how much he
> hates your guts.

GOKU: Well, it WAS a damn good thing he didn't know how much he hated your guts.

>Jivemn2: Mnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn, hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.
>Attndnt: Can I get you something?

VEGITA: Yeah, porn!
GOKU: VEGITA!

>Jivemn2: S'mo fo butter layin' to the bone. Jackin' me up.
> Tightly.
>Attndnt: I'm sorry I don't understand.

GOHAN: He said that he was busy jackinMMMMMMPPPPPHHHHH!
GOKU <covering Gohan's mouth>: I think that's enough.

>Jivemn1: Cutty say he cant hang.

VEGITA: It's a viagra overdose!

>Woman4 : Oh stewardess, I speak jive.

TRUNKS: There's something you can put on your resume.

>Attndnt: Ohhhh, good.
>Woman4 : He said that he's in great pain and he wants to know
> if you can help him.
>Attndnt: Would you tell him to just relax and I'll be back as
> soon as I can with some medicine.
>Woman : Jus' hang loose blooood. She goonna catch up on the`
> rebound a de medcide.
>Jivemn2: What it is big mamma, my mamma didn't raise no dummy, I
> dug her rap.

VEGITA <Jiveman2>: So shut yo ass up bitch!

>Woman4 : Cut me som' slac' jak! Chump don wan no help, chump
> don git no help. Jive ass dude don got no brains
> anyhow.
>MCrosky: Get me Captain Oever's wife on the phone, we'd better
> let her know what's going on.
>Towergy: Chief, this weather bulletin just came off the wire.
>MCrosky: Johnny, what can you make outta this?
>Johnny : This? Why I could make a hat, or a brooch, a
> pterodactyl. . .

GOHAN: I've got to ask, what's this guy on, and where can I get some?

>( Phone rings at Captain Oever's wife's house, she answers. )
>MSOever: Hello?
>Towergy: Mrs. Oever?
>MSOever: Yes, this is Mrs. Oever.
>Towergy: This is Ed Masias calling from the airport. There's
> some trouble on your husband's flight. We don't know
> how serious it is yet, but Steve McCrosky say you may
> want to get down here right away.

TRUNKS: And you don't say no to Steve McCrosky, if you know what's good for you!

>MSOever: Yes, I'll be right down. . . ( hangs up the phone )
> I've gotta go to the airport, you can let yourself
> out the back door. There's juice in the refridger-
> ator. ( We see she is sleeping with a horse)

ALL: GYYYYYYYAAAAAAH!

>Horse : Nayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy.... plllllllllllllllllllll.
> Winey.

VEGITA: Just when you think it can't get any worse, they decide to throw a
little beastiality at you!

>Elaine : Dr Rumack says the sick people are getting worse and
> we`re running out of time.
>Striker: ( In echoey voice to himself ) I've got to concentrate
> oncentrate, oncentrate. I've got to concentrate,
> concentrate, concentrate. Hello, hello, hello.
> Echo, echo, echo. Pinch hitting for Pedro Borbau
> Manny Motta, motta, motta.

GOKU <flat>: Our hero ladies and gentelmen, our hero.

>Man : How're you doing honey?
>Woman5 : I'm so hot, I'm burning up.

GOHAN <Woman>: TAKE ME!

>Man : I'll turn on some air. ( The whole cabin starts to blow
> with wind. " Close the window " )
>Striker: Chicago, the passengers are beginning to panic, when do
> we start down?
>Kramer : Not just yet, but you're in our range any second now.
> I don't understand it should have been in range 10
> minutes ago. Genderson, check the radar range,
> anything yet?
>Gendrsn: ( Looks in an oven ) Its about 2 more minutes chief.

VEGITA: This is starting to push MY limits! Even Kakarott isn't this stupid!
GOKU: Yeah...... HEY!

>MCrosky: 2 more minutes? They could be miles off course.
>Kramer : That's impossible there on instruments ( a brass
> ensemble begins to play )
>MCrosky: This is going to be a real sweat. Genderson, let me
> know when you get anything. Got a cigarette Nelson?
> I can't take much more of this. Looks like I picked
> the wrong week to quit amphetamines.

GOHAN: This guy sure seems to have a lot of bad habbits!
VEGITA <smirks>: Ten bucks says this guy overdoses on something by the end of
the movie.

[All look expectantly at Goku.]

GOKU: Not this time! I'm still not in the clear from the first bet!
VEGITA: Heh, not as dumb as I thought.

> Johnny, how
> about some more coffee?
>Johnny: NO THANKS!
>Towergy: Chief, these reporters won't leave without a statement.
>Reportr: How much longer can those passengers hold out?

TRUNKS: With our luck? Probably till this crap is over!

>MCrosky: A, half an hour or less.
>Reportr: Who's flying the plane?
>MCrosky: One of the passengers. But, he's an experienced Air
> Force pilot who flew during the war, so there's no
> cause for alarm. . . Here, take over.

VEGITA <MCrosky>: I've exceeded my bullshit quota for the day!

>Reportr: What kind of plane is it?
>Johnny : Oh its a big pretty white plane with red stripes,
> curtains in the window and wheels. It looks like
> a big tylenol.

GOKU: Or a 747, you decide which.

>Reportr: Okay boys, lets get some pictures. ( Take photos off
> of wall . . .)
>( Various reports from around the world are shown )
>TVGUY : This bulletin just handed to me . . . stricken airliner
> approaches Chicago.
>Countpt: They bought their tickets, they knew what they were
> getting into. I say let em crash.

ALL: PREACH ON BROTHER!

>Man2 : Would you like a little whiskey ma'am?
>Woman6 : ( In a berating voice ) CERTAINLY NOT!

GOHAN: Because drinking is evil boys and girls!

> ( She then does
> cocaine )

TRUNKS: What about sniffing cocaine?
GOHAN: Oh, that's ok I guess.

>Striker: How are the passengers doing?

VEGITA: Well, they're either geting pissed drunk or high as a kite!

>Rumack : I won't deceive you Mr. Striker . . . we're running out
> of time.

GOKU <Rumack>: In a little under half an hour, most of the passengers on this
plane will die. But no pressure or anything!

>Striker: Surely there must be something you can do.
>Rumack : I'm doing everything I can and stop calling me Shirley.
>Nun : R-E-S-P-E-C-T find out what it means to me . . . Sock
> it to me, sock it to me, sock it to me

VEGITA: If you insist!

[Vegita fires a ki blast at the screen, though it has no effect.]


> . . . A little
> respect ( passenger vomits as she sings ) Just a little
> bit . . .

TRUNKS: Hey lady! You ain't helping any!

>Attndnt: Booo-hooo ( she crys )
>Rumack : Randy, are you alright?
>Attndnt: Oh, Dr. Rumack, I'm scared. I've never been so scared.
> And besides, I'm 26 and I'm not married.
>Rumack : We're going to make it, you've got to believe that.
>Woman3 : Dr. Rumack, do you have any idea when we'll be landing?
>Rumack : Pretty soon, how are you bearing up?
>Woman3 : Well, to be honest, I've never been so scared. But, at
> least I have a husband. ( Randy sobs harder )

GOHAN <Woman3>: True, my husband is an insensitve prick, but I'm still married!
So HA HA!

>Voice : Stay in formation, target's just ahead. Target should
> be clear if you go in low enough. You'll have to decide
> You'll have to decide...

GOKU <Striker>: To be or not to be? That is the question.

>Striker: oh rats! we lost number 4.
>Elaine : What happened Ted, what went wrong?
>Striker: The oil pressure, I forgot to check the oil pressure.

VEGITA <Striker>: I'VE KILLED US ALL!
OTHERS: WOO-HOOOOOOOO!

> When Kramer hears about this, the shit's gonna hit
> the fan ( We see shit hitting a fan )

ALL: EWWWWWW!

>Kramer : Watch that oil temperature, what the hell's he doing up
> there? Striker, that plane can't land itself, it
> takes a pilot that can handle pressure.

TRUNKS: Crying shame you're stuck with Striker eh?

>MCrosky: Ease off Rex, he hasn't flown for years, its not his
> fault. It could happen to any pilot.
Johnny : It happened to Barbara Stanwick.
MCrosky: Don't push him too hard, give him a break. You gotta
remember who you're dealing with.
Johnny : Nick, Leaf, Jerrod, there's a fire in the barn.

GOKU: What script is he supposed to be reading from?
GOHAN: Unfortuneatly, this one.

>Striker: He's right, I can't take the pressure. I was crazy to
> think I could land this plane.

TRUNKS: Go voice of truth! Let you presance be felt!

>Elaine : Ted, you're the only hope.

VEGITA: In which case, may I repeat myself in saying that, they're screwed!

>Striker: I don't care. ( Plane starts to nosedive again )

GOKU: Um, you might want to reconnect the auto pilot before you leave!

> I don't
> have what it takes. They'd be better off with someone
> who'd never flown before.

GOHAN: No arguments here!

>MCrosky: Bad news, the fog is getting thicker.
>Johnny : And Leon's getting laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrger.

TRUNKS: Cripes man! Run your ass around the block a few times!

>Striker: I know what you're going to say, so save your breath.
>Rumack : Well, I don't have anything to say, you've done the
> best you could. You really have, the best you could.

VEGITA <Rumack>: True, your best blew chunks, but still your best none the less.

> You can't expect to win em all. But, I want to tell
> you something I've kept to myself through these years.

GOHAN <Rumack>: The secret to good acting. God knows you could use it!

> I was in the war myself, medical corps. I was on late
> duty one night when they brought in a badly wounded
> pilot from one of the raids. He could barely talk.
> He looked at me and said " The odds were against
> us up there, but we went in anyway, I'm glad Captain
> made the right decision. The pilot's name was George
> Zip.
>Striker: George Zip said that?

GOKU <Rumack>: Yes, but he was pumped full of pain killers and spouting nonsence
at the time.

>Rumack : The last thing he said to me, doc, he said, "Sometime
> when the crew is up against it, the breaks are beating
> the boys, tell them to get out there and give it all
> they got and win just one for the Zipper. I don't
> know where I'll be then doc, he said, but I won't smell
> too good, that's for sure.
>Striker: Excuse me doc, I got a plane to land.

VEGITA <Rumack>: What have I done?! I should have kept my mouth shut!

>Kramer : Alright Striker, you'd better stay up there for a bit,
> as soon as the fog lifts, we'll bring you in.
>Striker: I'll take it Elaine. Listen to me Kramer, Dr. Rumack
> says the sick people are in critical condition. And
> every minute counts. We've got to land now.
>Kramer : Don't be a fool Striker, you know what a landing like
> this means, you more than anybody. I'm ordering you
> to stay up there.
>Striker: NO DICE CHICAGO. I'm giving the orders and we're
> coming in. I guess the foot's on the other hand now,
> isn't it Kramer?

TRUNKS: What the hell is he talking about?
VEGITA: Don't try to figure it out. You're head might explode!

>Kramer : He'll never make it in this soup, not one chance in a
> million.
>MCrosky: I know, I know, but its his ship now, his command, he's
> in charge, he's the boss, head man, top dog, big cheese,

GOKU: Head honcho!
GOHAN: Big kahuna!
TRUNKS: Numero uno!
VEGITA: Some asshole.
GOKU: Vegita! You ruined it!
VEGITA: You think I'm going to say good about Striker? Baka!

>Towergy: Captain, look at this!
>MCrosky: Passengers certain to die!

GOHAN: Sounds about right.

>Kramer : Airline negligent.

TRUNKS: Also true.

>Johnny : There's a sale at Penny's!

GOKU <Johnny>: Screw them! I've got to get there before they run out of those
tacky Hawiian shirts!

>MCrosky: Alright, I'll need 3 men up in the tower. You Newbower,
> you Maceias. . .
>Johnny : Me John! Big tree.
>Kramer : Standby, Striker. We're going to the tower, good luck.
>Johnny : The tower, the tower . . . Repunzle, Repunzle . . .

TRUNKS: Ooooooookay, now might be a good time to call the nice men in white!

>Woman4 : Stewardess, how soon so we land?
>Attndnt: It won't be long now, try not to worry.
>Towergy: We're all ready sir, this is Captain McCrosky, Captain
> Roberts, Captain Kramer, Captain Kolosomo, Captain
> Henshaw this is Captain Gatz, Captain Kramer, Captain
> Gatz, Captain Henshaw, Captain Roberts.

VEGITA <Mills Lane>: I want a good clean fight, no biting or hiting below the
belt. Let's get it on!

>MCrosky: Alright Kolosomo, you work the relay, Roberts, check all
> air traffic within five miles, get that finger out of
> your ear, you don't know where that finger's been ( guy
> smells his finger )

GOHAN <Roberts>: Uuuuuuuuuugggggggggggg...........

> Got a cigarette Nels? Your husband
> and the others are alive, but unconscious.
>Johnny : Just like Gerald Ford.
>MCrosky: Now, there's a chance we can save them, if Striker can
> get that plane down in time.
>MSOever: That isn't much of a chance, is it?

TRUNKS: Let me put it this way, if you leave now you can pick out a good burial
plot!

>MCrosky: I don't know, I don't know, but we're doing everything
> we can, now excuse me huh?
>Johnny : Where did you get that dress? Its aweful . . . and
> those shoes, and that coat, geeeeeeeeeeeeeezzzzzzzz.

GOKU: Nice to see that Johnny has his priorities straight!

>( Tower Guys Playing Atari basketball on radar screen )
>Towergy: 8 miles. Looks like their heading 0-4-4.
>Elaine : We are now at 2000 feet beginning our decent.
>Kramer : Steve, I want every light you can get poured onto
> that field. ( A dump truck dumps table lamps onto the
> runway )

GOHAN <tower guy>: How are they gonna land with all that crap on the runway?
VEGITA <dump truck driver>: They're already screwed, this is just for overkill!

>Towergy: Tower to all emergency vehicles, runway is 9er.
> Airport vehicles take stations 1 and 2. Civilian
> equipment number 3. Air Force positions number 4
> and 5. All ambulances go to number 3. Air
> Israel, please clear the runway ( Plane is shown
> wearing a beard, hat, tallis, and yarmulke. )
>Attendnt:In a moment, we'll ask you to assume crash positions.
> your life jackets are located under your seat. Place
> the jacket over your head. And when I give the word,
> pull the cord on the right side flap. Your seat
> cushions are also equipped with a flotation device.

GOKU: Of course thay're about to land on the runway, nowhere near any bodys of
water! So that little announcement, much like this movie, was a total waste of
time!

>Radio : WZAZ in Chicago, where disco lives forever ( plane
> knocks down station's transmitter )

[Wild cheers erupt in the theater.]

VEGITA: FINALLY! Striker did something right! But don't think for one second
that I'm going to let him off the hook that easy!

>Kramer : Watch your altitude Striker, you're too erratic. You
> can't come straight in. You've got enough fuel left
> for two hours of flying.

ALL: NOOOOOOOO! END IT NOW!

>Striker: I'll take it Elaine. Listen to me Kramer! We have
> people up here who will die in less than an hour
> let alone two. I may bend your precious airplane,
> but I'll get it down. I'm putting the landing gear
> down now.
>Attndnt: Mr. Striker, the passengers are ready.

GOHAN <attendant>: Everyone's finished writing their wills.

>Striker: Thank you Randy. You'd better leave sweetheart. You
> might get hurt up here.
>Elaine : Ted,
>Striker: Yes?

TRUNKS <Elaine>: What do you mean by sweetheart? Is there something you're not
telling me?
GOHAN <Striker>: Errr..... Well...... Ummmm.....
TRUNKS <Elaine/Ryoga>: That's just what I thought. STRIKER PREPARE TO DIE!!!!!

>Elaine : I wanted you to know, now . . . I'm very proud.
>Striker: Tell 'em the gear is down and we're ready to land.
>Elaine : The gear is down and we're ready to land.
>Kramer : Alright, he's on final now, put out all runway lights
> except 9er.
>Towergy: Captain, maybe we ought to turn on the search lights
> now.
>MCrosky: No, thats just what they'll be expecting us to do.

VEGITA <MCrosky>: If we compleatly psych them out, they'll have a better chance
of crashing!

>Rumack : I just want to tell you both good luck, we're all
> counting on you.
>Kramer : Alright, now just listen carefully . . . you should
> be able to see the runway at 300 feet. Aim the
> touchdown a third of the way along. There's a slight
> crosswind from the right so be ready for it. Land
> too fast, use your emergency breaks. The red handle's
> right in front of you. If that doesn't stop you . . .
> ( long pause )

GOKU: This is so dramatic! I'm literally hanging off the edge of my seat!
GOHAN: Really?
GOKU: No.

> . . . if that doesn't stop you cut the
> four ignition switches over the co-pilot's head.
> Do you see us now? You should be able to see the field
> now. ( Dog barks )
>MCrosky: It sure is quiet out there. . .
>Kramer : Yeah, too quiet.
>MCrosky: Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit sniffing
> glue. ( inhales some glue and falls over)

GOKU: Phew! Glad I didn't take that bet!
VEGITA: Don't celabrate yet! You're still not in the clear!

>Striker: There it is.
>Kramer : There he is. Striker, you're coming in too fast . . .
>Striker: I know, I know.
>Elaine : He knows, he knows.

ALL: We know, we know.

>Airdude: Getting below 700 now, still going down. 675, 650, 625,
> he's holding. . .no, no he's down, he's down.: Sound your >alarm bell, now.

TRUNKS <immitating old car horn>: Awooga! Awooga!

>Attndnt: Alright now everybody, get in crash positions ( The
> passengers arrange themselves as if they just crash-
> ed. )
>Kramer : Put down 30 degrees of flap. Striker now listen to me
> Remember your breaks and switches, get ready to fly it
> out . . .
>Airdude: He's all over the place, 900 feet, up to 1300 feet . . .
> what an asshole.

VEGITA: It's that apperant huh?

>Kramer : More mast rudder, put down more flap . . .
>Johnny : ( Unplugs runway lights ) Just kidding.

GOHAN: Oh, we don't care if you leave it unpluged.
GOKU: If I didn't have ten bucks riding on this, I'd agree with you.

>Kramer : Striker, lift your nose, straighten your wings. You're
> coming in too fast, watch your speed.
>MCrosky: He's coming right at us . . . ( jumps through a window )

TRUNKS <MCrosky>: IT'S EXTREEEEEEEEEEEEM!!!

>Kramer : You're coming in too hot. Ease up on the throttle.
> Watch for that crosswind. Aim for the numbers, you'll
> have to dip your left wing. You're drifting, keep your
> eyes on the far end of the runway. You're too low
> damnit! Watch your stall speed. Ease her down, down.
> The break . . . pull the red handle. (The landing gear is
> torn off.)
>Rumack : I just want to tell you both good luck, we're all
> counting on you.

GOHAN: With no landing gear left? They'll need all the luck they can get!

>Voice2 : Flight 2-0-9 now arriving gate 8- gate 9, gate 10
>Kramer : Push a button.

VEGITA: When all else fails, start pressing buttons at random. Preferably the
big red ones!

>Voice2 : Gate 13, gate 14, gate 15 . . .
>Johnny : Auntie Em, Uncle Henry, toto . . . its a twister,
> its a twister
>Voice : Gate 23, 24, 25 . . .
>( Plane lands safely )

GOKU: This must be a new definition of safe, but I don't care! They've landed
and the sick girl hasn't died! I've won!

[Vegita grumbles something incoherant.]

>Rumack : I just want to tell you both-- good luck, we're all
> counting on you.

GOHAN: Oh no! He's stuck in a time warp!

>Kramer : Striker, Striker, you alright?

TRUNKS <Elaine>: I'm afraid he wasn't wearing a seatbelt and was thrown through
the windshield.
VEGITA: That would make me so happy right now!

>Striker: Yeah, we're okay.
>Kramer : Ted that was probably the worst landing in the history
> of this airport, but some of us here, particularly me
> would like to buy you a drink and shake your hand . .

GOKU <Kramer>: Actually, it's just an excuse to go get pissed.

> and Ted I just want you to know that when the going
> got rough . . .
>Attndnt: Okay alright, have a nice day . . .have a nice day,
> thank you for flying TransAmerican. (Lisa is loaded into an
> ambulance to take her to a hospital, but it crashes off screen
> and kills all inside.)

GOKU: O_O
VEGITA <wide smirk>: You were saying something about winning?
GOKU: But..... But they.......

>Kramer : Lonliness, thats the bottom line. I was never happy
> as a child . . . Christmas Ted, what does that mean
> to you? It was living hell.

GOHAN <Kramer>: All those relatives giving me all those presents, damn them all
to hell!

> Do you know what its
> like falling in the mud and getting kicked, in the head.
> With an iron boot? Of course you don't, no one does,
> that never happens. Sorry Ted, that's a dumb question.

TRUNKS: In his movie, that's no big deal. Saying something intellegent would be
a real shocker!

>Attndnt: Have a nice day.
>Kramer : Municipal bonds Ted, I'm talking double A rating. . .
> the best investment in America.
>( Ted and Elaine go off into the sunset and Otto and his
>inflatable friend Ottoette fly the plane off )

GOHAN: Yeah! You go Auto!
VEGITA: See! They didn't need Striker after all! The auto pilot even managed to
take off with no landing gear!
TRUNKS: Yeah, but he's self inserted, so he can do almost anything.
GOKU: But they....... I can't.......

> THE END!!!!!

ALL: YESSSSSSS!!!!!
VEGITA: The best part of this damn script!
GOHAN: Let's get out of here!

[Reverse door sequence 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1....]

"C'mon Kakarott, you made a bet and you lost! Pay up!" Vegita said triumphantly.
Reluctantly, Goku handed over the ten bucks and mumbeled something incoherant.

"Well," Gohan began "if we're soing to be stuck here, we might as well name the
place." Trunks was the first to speak up. "How about the 'Satellite of Hope'?"
Trunks' idea was promply shot down.

Vegita was the next to voice his opinion. "How about the 'Satellite of Vegita'?"
Vegita got a few odd looks from the others. "Isn't your ego big enough already
Vegita?" Asked Goku. "Well EXCUSE ME! I just thought it would be a good idea to
name the satellite after our home planet, I can't help it if the planet and I
just happen to have the same name!"

Gohan decided to intervene at this point. "How about we just call this place the
'Satellite of Saiya-jins' and be done with it?" The others saw nothing wrong
with this, so the satelite was christened the Satelite of Saiya-jins.

Meanwhile, back in Saban13, Majin Saban observed the four Saiya-jins with a
slight frown. This experiment had failed, they still kept their sanity. "Ah
well, I guess multiple flashbacks just proved to be annoying." Saban then looked
at a disk he held in his hand. "But this next experiment will give different
results! And if this doesn't drive them over the edge, I have lots more where
this came from!"

Back on the SOS.....

"You know guys, I've been thinking about something." Goku said to no one in
particular.

"Now there's a first!" Vegita shot back. Gohan glared at Vegita and looked at
his father. "What might that be dad?"

"Well, remember that explosion I caused back in the theater?"

Trunks nodded. "You mean when you gave the fourth wall a good hit?"

"Yeah. Well I was thinking that since we're anime characters being held captive
by the owner of the company that brought DBZ to North America, doesn't that
break the fourth wall too?"

Everyone looked at Goku in horror after what he just said. "WHAT HAVE YOU
DONE!!!" Vegita yelled as the SOS started to shake very violently. Dust and
debris began to fill the SOS while some metal support beams fell on the four
Saiya-jins, though the SOS itself suffered no damage.

After everything stoped Vegita, Trunks, and Gohan were staring daggers at Goku.
"Uh...... Sorry about that." Goku said nervously. The other three said nothing
and just slowly advanced on him, their battle auras starting to flare.

Back in Saban13, we can see Majin Saban and a bandaged up Yamcha looking at
what's going on in the SOS.

"Well, as much as I'd like to see those four beat the crap out of each other,
I've got other things I need to do. Push the button Yamcha." Commanded Majin
Saban as walked out of the room.

Yamcha took one last look at the events on the SOS and hoped that Vegita would
get the worst of what was going to happen before he pushed the button and joined
Majin Saban.


[Off screen]

GOKU: Come on guys! I really don't think this warants a Super Saiya-jin Level
Three beat down!

------------------------------------------------------------ ------------

LEGAL STUFF

Son Goku, Son Gohan, Vegita, Trunks, Yamcha, and all other Dragonball Z
characters mentioned in this MSTing are the property of Akira Toriyama. Haim
Saban is TM and C himself. I am merly borrowing them and do not lay any claims
to them. PLEASE DON'T SUE ME! Mystery Science Theater 3000 belongs to Best
Brains Inc.

ABSOLUTELY NO INSULT is intended towards Jim Abrahams, David Zucker, & Jerry
Zucker. Consider this a humorous form of C&C. I ask again, PLEASE DON'T SUE ME!

Persona's notes: Well what do you know? After a failed attempt at trying to
start a MSTing series, I actually got a good idea and made it work! At least I'd
like to think I made it work! Just to be on the safe side though, I'd like to
know what you think, so feel free to e-mail me anytime with C&C, as it's always
welcome! Stay tuned for the next installment of Mystery Saiya-jin Theater 3000
when I step into the world of lemons! Until next time, KAMEHAMEHA!

E-mail Persona: neo_persona@hotmail.com


------------------------------------- -----------------------------------
>MCrosky: Don't panic, on the belt line of the automatic pilot
> there's a tube, now that is the manual inflation
> nozzle. Take it out and blow on it.