Dragon Ball/Z/GT Fan Fiction / Fan Fiction ❯ DBZ Meets Gaunt's Ghosts ❯ Gaunts Ghosts meet DBZ ( One-Shot )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

Gaunts Ghosts meets the DBZ gang

Glym: Cadian/Catachan General Glym Mklure here I have a few things to say
1) I am neither Akira Tonymira nor Dan Abnett (as I would believe obvious). As such I therefore have no claims what so
ever over anyone in this whatever the hell it is, except one character see can you find him.
2) This is entirely fictional straight from my head and did not ever happen. I say this in case you are the thickest
person in the world aka “As Thick As Shite”
3) If there are spelling mistakes I don’t care.
Now I’ve talked enough time to start

***************

Glym: The Ghosts of Tanith are about to do battle with the Z Warriors to even the odds the ghosts have more powerful lasguns
etc. the battle hasn’t started yet but lets see the plans being made.

(Ghost lines)

Corbec: Hark, get Milo up beside me at the frontline to pipe us to victory.

Hark: Can’t do that sir.

Corbec: Why the feth not?

Hark: He pissed off sir.

Corbec: Feth

(DBZ lines)

Goku: Ok. Gohan you………

Vegeta: He’s not here Kakarot.

Goku: Where is he then?

(A smoke filled room with a stereo in the corner blasting Smoke on the Water)

Gohan (with a joint in his hand): Good shit man

Milo (also with joint): Yup

(Ghost lines)

Corbec: Alright then. Bring Bragg and Larkin up to help cut deep into the enemy lines.

Hark: Good plan colonel but with a tiny draw back.

Corbec: What?

Hark: they’re gone too.

Corbec: ahhhhh fu…..

(DBZ lines)

Goku (checks his watch): Tien and Chaoutzsu should be here by now.

Vegeta: I know where are they?

(A bar somewhere)

Tien and Bragg: (drinking beer, whiskey and sacra by the pint)

Larkin and Chaoutzsu: (Cheering them on)

(Ghost lines)

Corbec: Hark!

Hark: yes sir!

Corbec: Why am I doing all the preparations where’s Gaunt?

Hark: (Thinks) Good question sir.

(DBZ lines)

Goku: hey Vegeta?

Vegeta: what?

Goku: Can I borrow your phone? I’m gonna call Chichi see if Gohan’s there.

Vegeta: Knock yourself out. (Throws phone) Or better hang yourself from a tree.

(Goku’s house)

(Phone in bedroom rings)

Gaunt: (answering) Hello

Goku: Chichi?

Gaunt: (off phone) feth! (Wakes Chichi beside him) it’s for you.

(Chichi takes the phone)

Goku: Are you ok Chichi? You sound a bit different.

Chichi: (VERY fake cough) No I’m fine.

Goku: Ok…

Gaunt: (chuckles then whispering) Gullible bastard.

Goku: Is Gohan there? He should be here but he’s not.

Chichi: No he’s not, Goku. By the Way don’t be coming back for at least 10 hours.

Goku: Ok (hangs up)

Chichi: Now, where were we?

(DBZ lines)

Vegeta: So Kakarot unable to keep track of your son. (Smirks)

Goku: Where’s Trunks

Vegeta: (Looks around) Darn! Hang on Darn! Darn! Why can’t I say it?

Goku: Vegeta as an anime character you are only allowed to swear in Japan otherwise you need a permit.

Vegeta: Hang on (flies off)

(Ghost lines)

Corbec: Mkoll, I need you to scout…..Mkoll….Mkoll!

Hark: Sir…..

Corbec: Mkoll’s buggered off hasn’t he.

Hark: Yes

(A University dormitory yard)

(Scout Sergeant Mkoll and Mirai Trunks are sneaking through trees bushes etc.)

Mkoll: Brilliant plan boy.

Trunks: However do you not find it immoral to use your skills in this way?

Mkoll: No. By the way your quieter than most of my scouts.

Trunks: Thanks sir.

(Both approach a window and look in)

Both: Ohh yeah.

(Ghost lines)

Corbec: Alright Hark give it to me straight. Who’s missing?

Hark: Varl, Rawne and Criid.

Corbec: Good not too many then.

Hark: And their platoons

Corbec: Equalling

Hark: almost three hundred, sir!

Corbec: Right.

(DBZ lines)

Vegeta: Kakarot, I’ve got the permit allowing all anime characters to swear all they fucking like

Goku: Very good Vegeta except………..

Vegeta: What?

Goku: No-ones here except for us.

Vegeta: Ballix! Where are they?

(A Las Vegas casino)

Varl: alright Caff your roll…..Caff……Caff. Where in the name of feth is trooper Caffran?

Rawne: Not a clue.

Criid: I haven’t even seen him all day.

Krillen: I’m going to hate what happens next but….(takes a deep breath) has anyone seen #18.

Piccolo: I think I see where this is going.

Feygor: Same here.

(Caffran lying on a bed somewhere smoking a lho stick with #18 beside him, also smoking a cigarette.)

Caffran: Alright! (Finishes his lho stick.) Ready to go again.

#18: We just finished the Kama Sutra. I thought I was supposed to be the machine.

Caffran: (pause) Yes or no?

#18: Why not.

(Back at the casino again)

(Krillen and Tona (Criid) are stunned at the last scene)

Varl: Murder will be done.

Piccolo: (Trying to change the atmosphere.) Has anyone seen Yamcha?

Rawne: Or Banda?

Daur: Or Muril?

Varl: Captain!?

Daur: Yes.

Feygor: But you’re a high ranking officer.

Daur: And so is that Gak-face Major Rawne. Yet no-one is amazed to see him here.

Criid: (recovering.) Where’s Nessa?

Varl: How many more of these fethers are going to wander off?

(Somewhere private)

Yamcha: Damn. I had great dream that I was in a foursome with 3 girls (rolls over. Sees Banda. Rolls over the other way.
Sees Nessa and Muril)

(Pause)

Yamcha: Yahoo (pulls out a small notebook and writes while muttering to himself.) Yamcha-3 Bulma-1. Hehehehe I’m winning.

(Back at the DBZ lines)

Goku: Vegeta.

Vegeta: Yeah?

Goku: Who the hell is he (points to a single figure approaching)

(The figure appears. He is wearing a Tanith uniform)

Vegeta: Who are you and what do you want.

Trooper: Vadim, trooper, Tanith well Verghastite really but I represent the Tanith.

Goku: And?

Vadim: my colonel, Corbec, sent me with this letter to you.

Goku: (Takes the letter then hands it to Vegeta.) I forgot Vegeta I can’t read.

Vegeta: It says: Look here I really don’t want to fight right now so c’mon over to the camp and we’ll forget about it all and
get pissed. Signed: Colm Corbec. What do you think, Kakarot?

Goku: What’s the alternative?

Vegeta: Stand here scratching ourselves.

Goku: Alright let’s go.

(Back at the Tanith lines)

(Goku and Vegeta just arrived)

Corbec: Hello there you two must be the ex-enemy. I’m Corbec by the way.

Goku: Hi Corbec

Vegeta: Where is the bar? I’ve wasted enough time.

Corbec: Why my friend don’t you know. Life is a waste of time.

Hark: Time is a waste of life.

Glym: So get wasted all the time and have the time of your life.

Goku: Who the fuck are you?

Glym: General Glym Mklure of the Cadian 13th and Catachan 22nd. My men brought up enough drink to last seventeen regiments
nine standard years.

Gaunt (returning with Chichi): Enough to last our three regiments tonight then?

Glym: If we’re careful enough we might have some drink left over by tomorrow.

Goku: (not realising the physical contact between his wife and the Colonel-Commissar.) Who’s that coming over the hills?

Gaunt: I’m not sure.

Corbec: (looks through his scope) I think it’s everyone else who pissed off today.

********************

Glym: Afterwards we all had the big party. Caffran and #18’s wounds weren’t too serious. Yamcha got the feeling back into
his legs within 2 hours after another 3 he was unable to walk again. And so ends the tale. Did you find the non-copyrighted
character? If not then the answer is: Me.