Dragon Ball/Z/GT Fan Fiction / Fullmetal Alchemist Fan Fiction ❯ Alchemy and Saiyans ❯ Cheerio, Colonel! ( Chapter 6 )

[ P - Pre-Teen ]

Summary: A mysterious stranger takes Edward Elric and deposits him in the DBZ world.

Disclaimer:

it walks alone: *scribble scribble*

BritKit: *dashes in, dashes to vending machines, buys cookies, dashes to table, pounces on cookies* FOOOOOD!!

IWA: *notices cookie crumbs flying everywhere* And hello to you too.

BK: *crunch munch* Mrgle brgle.

IWA: *stares* Beg pardon?

BK: *swallows* Hi.

IWA: *tries to steal cookie crumb*

BK: *pounces on cookie crumb and scarfs it down*

IWA: T.T

BK: Growl snarl. *munches*

IWA: *scooches away* No lunch today, huh.

BK: *devours cookies*

IWA: I'll take that as a yes. *turns to readers, ignoring flying crumbs and loud crunching behind her* Just for the record, DBZ and FMA belong to their respective authors, not me, and probably will never be owned by me. By the way, I also don't own Cheerios.

BK: *munch crunch snarl*

IWA: *watches* Right. Well then, on to the fic!

“Speaking” Thoughts (Me to you) “Telephone or other such communication device”

Last time:

“You do that, Al. We'll see about transporting objects (and people, too) between universes.”

“Wait a minute—Universes?!”

“Yes, Winry, universes.” Ed sighed.

Chapter 6: Cheerio, Colonel!

About a week later, Ed called Mustang again. Fortunately, he was smart enough not to talk immediately. He waited until Riza Hawkeye had left the room before addressing the Colonel.

“Uhh... Mustang? Are you alone?”

“Yes, Fullmetal.”

“Great. Bulma and Mirai have just finished debugging an invention that should transport objects from this universe to yours, and they want to test it out.”

“So... What?”

“I'll send you something. If all the calculations are correct, it'll show up on your desk.”

“Should I get Al and Winry?”

“They're there? Sure. I'll wait.”

Mustang nodded, even though Ed couldn't see, and left to find Al and Winry.

About 10 minutes later, he came back. “We're back, Fullmetal,” he announced.

Before Ed could reply, though, Winry, looking around, stated the obvious. “But he's not here...”

“Didn't I tell you that before?”

She jumped. “Ed! Where are you?”

“Urgh. Capsule Corp in West City. Now, do you want me to send it now...?”

Mustang shrugged. “Sure.”

There was a hum, a flash of light, and then something fell a few inches to the Colonel's desk. Said Colonel walked over and picked it up. It was a picture featuring a rather large group of people, Ed included. It was apparently supposed to be a static picture, but something had happened and it became a candid shot. There were names written on it.

“A labeled picture...?”

“Uh-huh. So you can get a picture of who I'm talking to over here.”

“I see.”

In the picture, a blue-haired woman labeled 'Bulma Briefs' had a frying pan out and was chasing a flame-haired man labeled 'Vegeta'. A woman labeled 'Chi-Chi Son' was Frying Panning a man with a halo labeled 'Goku Son' while a teen labeled 'Gohan Son' tried to keep her back. A lavender-haired teen labeled 'Mirai Trunks Briefs' was sweatdropping while watching his parents. A black-haired chibi labeled 'Goten Son' and a lavender-haired chibi labeled 'Chibi Trunks Briefs' were sitting off to the side munching popcorn. On the other side were a scarred man labeled 'Yamcha Bandit', a three-eyed man labeled 'Tien', a mime-ish floating infant labeled 'Chaozu', a very short man labeled 'Krillen Chestnut', an impassive blonde woman labeled 'Eighteen' holding a chibi labeled 'Marron Chestnut', a seven foot tall green man labeled 'Piccolo', a green teenager with a staff labeled 'Dende', and Ed, sweatdropping at the camera.

Winry stared at the picture. “Oh wow...”

“Yeah. Popo volunteered to take the picture since he really isn't part of the group.”

“'Popo'?”

“Dende's helper. By the way, on a not-so-completely-unrelated subject, I believe in a god now.”

“Eh? Why, nii-san?”

“Dende IS God.”

They all stared at the picture of the green teenager.

“Oh...” Winry murmured.

“Oh yeah... Mirai's been bugging me for a picture of you guys so he knows who he's talking to. Do you happen to have one?”

“Uh... Not that I know. I'll see if I can get one, Hughes probably carries his camera with him at all times. Oh, do you want me to tell them where you are?” Mustang responded.

“Sure. Fine by me. And can you label the picture with ranks, too?”

“Of course.”

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Somehow, Mustang had managed to get Armstrong (sparkling, of course...), Hughes, Riza, and Havoc to agree to this. The picture wasn't as candid as the one Ed had sent, but as per the short alchemist's request, it was labeled.

They were all currently assembled in Mustang's office, wondering about Ed's predicament. Needless to say, all those who hadn't spoken with Ed while he was away jumped a bit when Mustang announced, seemingly to thin air, “We're all here, Fullmetal. You there?”

They jumped again when Ed's voice responded, “Yeah. You got the picture?”

“Yep.”

“Good. Put it in the center of your desk and move any other papers away from it, will you?”

Roy nodded, even though he knew Ed couldn't see him.

“We need to be able to see each other.”

“Hmm...” a woman said, causing everyone to jump. “I'll have to talk to Bulma about that.”

Ed's voice snickered. “I think you scared them, Chi-Chi.”

Mustang blinked. So that was Chi-Chi...

“They shouldn't be scared yet. Wait 'till she gets mad...”

“And you'd know from experience, wouldn't you, Gohan?”

“Well, yeah...”

“Mm-hmm. I've seen her beating your dad...”

“Yeah. And she wasn't even that mad.”

“Ouch.”

“Understatement.”

“Can we get to business, here?” Mustang nearly growled.

“Jeez, Mustang, calm down. Sure.”

“The picture's ready, Fullmetal.”

“Right.”

There was a hum, then a flash of light, and the picture which Mustang had so recently put on his desk was gone.

Everyone assembled stared at where the picture had been.

“Whoa...”

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Chi-Chi, Gohan, and Ed (since they were the only ones there) looked at the picture that had appeared in the middle of the table.

“Uniforms...? Oh, they're military,” Gohan observed, sounding slightly annoyed.

Ed glared at him. “What's with the attitude, Gohan?”

Gohan shrugged. “We don't have much of a military here. It was marginalized after years of peace. And what we do have is composed of idiots. I mean, after the first few villains they couldn't handle, you'd think they'd leave the major ones to those who can.”

“Marginalized?” Mustang asked.

“Yeah.”

“I see.”

“So you can't really blame me, can you?”

“Can we drop the subject, please?” asked Ed.

“Sorry, Ed,” Gohan replied.

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The next morning, Mustang was explaining Ed's predicament to Riza, Hughes, Havoc, Armstrong, and Winry with Al's help when he noticed muffled footsteps and giggling.

“...And before you ask any questions, will somebody go figure out who's there?” he finished.

Hughes got up, opened the door, and looked around. “I don't see anyone...”

“Hey! Put it in the middleof the table, dummy!” someone whispered.

Now everyone was looking around in confusion.

Then there came a hum.

They looked at each other, all thinking the same thing: Uh-oh...

There was a flash of light, and something appeared about 2 inches above Mustang's head and dropped onto it.

“Oh, man, we got the coordinates wrong!”

They all turned to Mustang and burst out laughing.

There was an upside down cereal bowl on his head. Milk and soggy Cheerios were dripping down his face and hair and onto his blue uniform.

“Um, Colonel? Why is there an upside down cereal bowl on your head?” Hughes managed to gasp out between laughs.

“Oops...”

“You mean it landed on his head? Really? Wow...”

“Goten, you dummy!”

“It's not nice to call someone a dummy, Trunks.”

Riza pulled out her guns. “Show yourselves! Who are you and what the hell did you do to my commanding officer?!”

“Uhh... Who is that?” Trunks whispered.

“You'd better come out! Now?”

“Hey, don't tell me what to do!”

“I can if I want to! Now come out!”

“Make me!”

“Uhh... Trunks?”

“Come out or I'll shoot!”

Everyone in the Colonel's office cringed. (IWA: Except Mustang, as he was still busy dripping milk and Cheerios.)

“Nyaah!”

“Trunks?”

“I'm serious!”

“Trunks!”

“Not now, Goten!”

“Uhh... First Lieutenant Hawkeye?” Al asked timidly.

“What is it?”

The suit of armor picked up the picture still lying on the soggy (and now angry) Colonel's desk and pointed to the two chibis off to the side munching popcorn. “They're these two.”

Riza stared at the picture, then put her guns away and sat down, embarrassed.

“Trunks!”

“Shut up or my mom'll hear us!”

“She already has!”

“BRATS!” Vegeta's voice yelled.

“Uh-oh. RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!”

“Not so fast, Demonlings,” Gohan's voice declared.

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Whoo-hoo! I really like this chapter! Not only do I get to torture the Brats, but also Colonel Mustang! Yes! Anywho, please leave me a review on your way out!