Dragon Ball/Z/GT Fan Fiction / Gensomaden Saiyuki Fan Fiction ❯ World Eating Contest ❯ Chapter 5
[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]
By: icenectar 
Anime/Manga: Dragon Ball/Z/GT Fan Fiction / Gensomaden Saiyuki Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Comedy | Type: Crossover | Uploaded On: 11.08.2003 | Updated On: 02.06.2004 | Pages: 3 | Words: 2.5K | Visits: 650 | Status: Completed
Anime/Manga: Dragon Ball/Z/GT Fan Fiction / Gensomaden Saiyuki Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Comedy | Type: Crossover | Uploaded On: 11.08.2003 | Updated On: 02.06.2004 | Pages: 3 | Words: 2.5K | Visits: 650 | Status: Completed
"Look at those group of people. I wonder what they're doing?" Yamcha asked as he pointed to a group of people wearing signs.
"They're protesting the contest," Piccolo replied.
"What?"
"They think the contest is an unnecessary display of gluttony. At least that's what I hear. I tend to agree with them. Anything that deals with food is unnecessary gluttony."
"That's because you don't eat. Personally, I'm starting to get a little hungry," Oolong said and Puar stared at him.
"How can you be hungry after watching them eat?" she asked.
"I don't know, but I am. Hey, there's a little ice-cream stand over there. Let's get some."
"Okay! Hey, what are you doing?"
"Changing into something that can run faster. Sucker!!"
"Oolong, that's not fair!"
"Hey Yamcha, how much do you think that redheaded idiot will lose when our Goku wins?" Master Roshi asked and Yamcha shrugged his shoulders.
"I don't know. It depends on how much zenie he has," he replied.
"Well, at least it's a lot quieter out here," Sanzo muttered as he lit a cigarette.
"Who's ahead?" Bulma asked and Sanzo winced in pain.
"One of them. Does that woman always scream like that?"
There was an awkward silence for a moment and Krillin looked at the others. He glanced at Bulma than awkwardly coughed.
"Not all the time. She can be louder," Yamcha said, emphasizing the word "louder". He grinned at the mixture of shock and pain on Sanzo's face. The priest took the cigarette out of his mouth and sighed.
"I don't see how he can put up with her," he muttered.
"I don't see how she can put up with Vegeta," Yamcha said and pointed to Bulma. Bulma's face grew red as she walked over to him.
"I heard that!!" she cried and Yamcha dodged a kick.
"Hey, I wasn't being serious!" he cried. Sanzo sighed and walked away from the group. Even they were being annoyingly loud, he noted as he sat down. He took out his paper and began reading it. The shadow belonging to a pair of pointed shoes cast a shadow over his newspaper and Sanzo glanced up, his face showing annoyance. The Namek folded his arms and gazed down at the priest.
"So where did you all come from?" Piccolo asked and Sanzo glanced up at him.
"I could ask the same about you or is that color normal for the people of this region?" he asked and the Namek forced a smile.
"Hardly. I come from a world called Namek. It is some distance away from earth."
"So you're from another world."
"Yes."
"If that's so, why hasn't anyone put you on display?"
The Namek thought for a moment then replied, "I don't speak with a lot of people."
"I see," Sanzo said then turned his attention back to his newspaper.
"Sanzo..." Hakkai said as he walked out of the building.
"What?" Sanzo asked.
"I believe Goku sensed your departure and that has slowed his eating down. I was wondering if you would be so kind as to rejoin us inside?"
"Can't that monkey do anything on his own? All right. Just get me as far away from that woman as you can. My head is already hurting."
***********************************************
Five contestants remained from about twenty to begin with. The next meal was served and the smell of it caused two of the contestants to pass out. Both Gokus looked expectantly at the covered dish as Sanzo and Hakkai sat down a few rows behind Gojyo and Vegeta. Gojyo took another cigarette out of his package and flicked the lighter. He flicked it a few more times then glanced back at Sanzo.
"This is my lighter, isn't it or did you take mine again?" he asked.
"Here, if you need it so badly, use this one. This one's got plenty of fluid in it," Sanzo said and threw him the lighter.
"Thanks. I'd say I owe you but I don't know if I want to owe a priest. He might want me to confess or something."
"I don't make people confess."
"I don't know, priests in general make me nervous," Gojyo said and Sanzo looked at him.
"Give me the lighter back then," he said and held out his hand. Gojyo studied the object in question suspiciously then pointed an accusing finger at Sanzo.
"I'll give you the flint and fluid back but this casing is mine. I bought it at the last town we were in. You DID take my lighter, didn't you?"
"Fine. Keep it. I don't care. Don't accuse me of anything, though. You handed it to me."
"I didn't hand it to you."
"There went the last opponent. Now you will see that Kakarrot is the best and you will apologize profusely, you water shrimp," Vegeta said and Gojyo glanced at him.
"And what are you gonna do if you lose? How about I get a kiss from your wife? She may be a bit older, but marriage hasn't really hurt her looks any. That's surprising, considering the company she keeps," Gojyo said and Vegeta's eyes flashed in rage.
"Fine. If that's what you want. I'm only agreeing to that because I know Kakarrot can't lose."
"Fine. Be overconfident if you want. But I know full well that my monkey's got one hell of an appetite."
"It seems to me that you're the one being overconfident."
"I'm never overconfident. I make my living off of gambling. I know what I'm betting on."
"You'd just better have enough money to pay your loss otherwise, I won't be expressly pleased with you," Vegeta said as he tried to keep the disturbing image of a crimson cockroach kissing his wife from his mind.
"I was going to say the same about you. It isn't good for royalty to back out of bets," Gojyo said and Vegeta stood up in anger.
"I never said I was going to back out!" he cried.
"Good. Don't be discouraged when your Goku loses. There's always next year."
"It's not my idiot that's going to have to worry about losing. It's your own monkey, you idiotic little insect."
"Little? In comparison to you? Hah. That's funny. Considering the huge difference in size we have."
"Don't mock me!"
"Forgive the interruption, but it seems to me that the next match has begun," Hakkai said and both Vegeta and Gojyo looked up.
"All right. Now comes the time when we'll see which monkey is better."
******************************************
The arena was silent as both Gokus stared into each other's eyes, their forks in a death grip with their hands, preparing for a culinary dance between plate and mouth. It almost looked like a Western he had seen on television, Gojyo mused as he glared at Vegeta, who returned the glare. Chi-chi leaned forward, her hands holding tight to the railing in front of her as the starter raised the flag up into the air. Up and up it went, the movements seemed to be played in slow motion to those who had money riding on the outcome of the event and Gojyo fumbled for another cigarette.
"What is the final meal?" Hakkai whispered and Sanzo handed him his program. "Oh here it is. Dessert. Tiramisu, which is lady fingers dipped in a premium coffee blend, dusted with cocoa and topped with sliced almonds. You know, Goku looks pretty tired."
"They both look pretty tired," Sanzo commented as large bowls were brought out and set before the two finalists. Both raised their forks, glaring into each other's eyes, leaned forward and fell fast asleep face down in the dessert. The judges looked at the table and then at each other. Then at the table again. They talked amongst themselves, pointing at the table and then at a sheet of paper. Then one stood up and took the microphone from the announcer who had been giving a play by play commentary.
"It is decided," he said and Gojyo and Vegeta leaned forward in anticipation. "That the winner of this contest is...."
"Is what? Is who? Come on, spit it out!" Gojyo yelled.
"...Goku!"
"Thank god," Gojyo said and leaned back in his seat in relief.
"And..." the announcer said and Gojyo sat up in shock.
"And? What the hell do you mean by and?" he demanded.
"Goku!"
"WHAAAT?! A TIE?!" Vegeta cried.
"They will each get half of the prize money. As soon as they wake up, that is. Thanks to all that participated and we hope to see you again next year," the judge said and the announcer stood up indignantly.
"Wait a second!" the announcer cried as he pulled the microphone away from the judge. "Those are my lines! Don't try to steal them. So until next time, good-bye!" he cried as the remaining people in the stadium continued to stare with their mouths open.
"I can't believe they tied," Gojyo said as he leaned back in his seat in shock.
"So who wins that bet of yours?" Sanzo asked as he came up behind Gojyo.
"....a tie? Kakarrot you should have been able to beat that shrimp!" Vegeta cried.
"Hey! I think my Goku did quite well, thank you. You know if you thought you could have done better, you could have always participated," Chi-chi said and Vegeta glared at her.
"I do not subject myself to public mockery!"
"Um...please forgive me, but I believe you owe me both five hundred," Hakkai said and Vegeta looked at him.
"What are you talking about?" he asked.
"Well, I do believe I made a bet and you both lost. Please pay up."
"You bet on a....tie?" Gojyo asked and Hakkai nodded his head.
"Yes. I just couldn't decide which Goku to bet on so I bet on both."
"I hate you."
"Don't feel so bad, Gojyo. Maybe I'll lend you some money later. We need to wake our Goku up so we can get our share of the prize money. I think it'll be just enough to buy the provisions that we need."
"Goku, I'm so proud of you! We've got money for Gohan's college fund after all!" Chi-chi said as she shook her husband.
"Wha...?" Goku asked as he sleepily sat up. Chi-chi glared at him. "What's wrong?"
"What's wrong?! You've got crumbs all over your face! You look disgraceful, Goku!"
"Tell her to stop yelling," the other Goku yawned.
"Excuse me? What are you saying about me?" Chi-chi asked and the shorter Goku sat up in shock.
"Me?! I'm not saying anything. Man she's scary," he wispered.
"I heard that! Get over here! I'll make you pay!"
"Sanzo!!!"
"Goku, this is your own problem. Deal with it on your own," Sanzo said.
"Please, I'd like to have Goku's half of the prize money. We need to get on our way," Hakkai said to the judge as Goku wiped his face.
"Just a minute and we'll write you a check. You too, Mrs. Son," the judge said.
"I don't have a Mrs. Son," Goku said.
"He wasn't talking about you, Goku. He was talking to the other one," Hakkai said.
"Yeah, you stupid little monkey. Just shut up," Gojyo said and grabbed Goku.
"Let me go, you cockroach!" Goku cried.
"You made me lose a lot of money for not winning."
"Don't worry about it, Goku. We've made enough money for provisions," Hakkai said.
"Let's go, then," Sanzo said and lit a cigarette.
"I believe it would be appropriate to say goodbye to everyone."
"If they're still around," Gojyo said.
"We can always check outside. Let's go."
"Thank you very much for allowing our Goku to compete," Hakkai said as he took the check from the judge. "Come on everyone, let's go shopping. We have a long road ahead of us."
"Bye! I hope to see you again!" Goku cried.
"Good riddance," Vegeta said.
"I heard that, old man," Gojyo said and Vegeta glared at him.
"Old man? OLD man?! NO ONE gets away with that!"
"Vegeta, let them go," Goku said. "There's a lot of things that needs to be done. Come on, let's go find the others."
"They're protesting the contest," Piccolo replied.
"What?"
"They think the contest is an unnecessary display of gluttony. At least that's what I hear. I tend to agree with them. Anything that deals with food is unnecessary gluttony."
"That's because you don't eat. Personally, I'm starting to get a little hungry," Oolong said and Puar stared at him.
"How can you be hungry after watching them eat?" she asked.
"I don't know, but I am. Hey, there's a little ice-cream stand over there. Let's get some."
"Okay! Hey, what are you doing?"
"Changing into something that can run faster. Sucker!!"
"Oolong, that's not fair!"
"Hey Yamcha, how much do you think that redheaded idiot will lose when our Goku wins?" Master Roshi asked and Yamcha shrugged his shoulders.
"I don't know. It depends on how much zenie he has," he replied.
"Well, at least it's a lot quieter out here," Sanzo muttered as he lit a cigarette.
"Who's ahead?" Bulma asked and Sanzo winced in pain.
"One of them. Does that woman always scream like that?"
There was an awkward silence for a moment and Krillin looked at the others. He glanced at Bulma than awkwardly coughed.
"Not all the time. She can be louder," Yamcha said, emphasizing the word "louder". He grinned at the mixture of shock and pain on Sanzo's face. The priest took the cigarette out of his mouth and sighed.
"I don't see how he can put up with her," he muttered.
"I don't see how she can put up with Vegeta," Yamcha said and pointed to Bulma. Bulma's face grew red as she walked over to him.
"I heard that!!" she cried and Yamcha dodged a kick.
"Hey, I wasn't being serious!" he cried. Sanzo sighed and walked away from the group. Even they were being annoyingly loud, he noted as he sat down. He took out his paper and began reading it. The shadow belonging to a pair of pointed shoes cast a shadow over his newspaper and Sanzo glanced up, his face showing annoyance. The Namek folded his arms and gazed down at the priest.
"So where did you all come from?" Piccolo asked and Sanzo glanced up at him.
"I could ask the same about you or is that color normal for the people of this region?" he asked and the Namek forced a smile.
"Hardly. I come from a world called Namek. It is some distance away from earth."
"So you're from another world."
"Yes."
"If that's so, why hasn't anyone put you on display?"
The Namek thought for a moment then replied, "I don't speak with a lot of people."
"I see," Sanzo said then turned his attention back to his newspaper.
"Sanzo..." Hakkai said as he walked out of the building.
"What?" Sanzo asked.
"I believe Goku sensed your departure and that has slowed his eating down. I was wondering if you would be so kind as to rejoin us inside?"
"Can't that monkey do anything on his own? All right. Just get me as far away from that woman as you can. My head is already hurting."
***********************************************
Five contestants remained from about twenty to begin with. The next meal was served and the smell of it caused two of the contestants to pass out. Both Gokus looked expectantly at the covered dish as Sanzo and Hakkai sat down a few rows behind Gojyo and Vegeta. Gojyo took another cigarette out of his package and flicked the lighter. He flicked it a few more times then glanced back at Sanzo.
"This is my lighter, isn't it or did you take mine again?" he asked.
"Here, if you need it so badly, use this one. This one's got plenty of fluid in it," Sanzo said and threw him the lighter.
"Thanks. I'd say I owe you but I don't know if I want to owe a priest. He might want me to confess or something."
"I don't make people confess."
"I don't know, priests in general make me nervous," Gojyo said and Sanzo looked at him.
"Give me the lighter back then," he said and held out his hand. Gojyo studied the object in question suspiciously then pointed an accusing finger at Sanzo.
"I'll give you the flint and fluid back but this casing is mine. I bought it at the last town we were in. You DID take my lighter, didn't you?"
"Fine. Keep it. I don't care. Don't accuse me of anything, though. You handed it to me."
"I didn't hand it to you."
"There went the last opponent. Now you will see that Kakarrot is the best and you will apologize profusely, you water shrimp," Vegeta said and Gojyo glanced at him.
"And what are you gonna do if you lose? How about I get a kiss from your wife? She may be a bit older, but marriage hasn't really hurt her looks any. That's surprising, considering the company she keeps," Gojyo said and Vegeta's eyes flashed in rage.
"Fine. If that's what you want. I'm only agreeing to that because I know Kakarrot can't lose."
"Fine. Be overconfident if you want. But I know full well that my monkey's got one hell of an appetite."
"It seems to me that you're the one being overconfident."
"I'm never overconfident. I make my living off of gambling. I know what I'm betting on."
"You'd just better have enough money to pay your loss otherwise, I won't be expressly pleased with you," Vegeta said as he tried to keep the disturbing image of a crimson cockroach kissing his wife from his mind.
"I was going to say the same about you. It isn't good for royalty to back out of bets," Gojyo said and Vegeta stood up in anger.
"I never said I was going to back out!" he cried.
"Good. Don't be discouraged when your Goku loses. There's always next year."
"It's not my idiot that's going to have to worry about losing. It's your own monkey, you idiotic little insect."
"Little? In comparison to you? Hah. That's funny. Considering the huge difference in size we have."
"Don't mock me!"
"Forgive the interruption, but it seems to me that the next match has begun," Hakkai said and both Vegeta and Gojyo looked up.
"All right. Now comes the time when we'll see which monkey is better."
******************************************
The arena was silent as both Gokus stared into each other's eyes, their forks in a death grip with their hands, preparing for a culinary dance between plate and mouth. It almost looked like a Western he had seen on television, Gojyo mused as he glared at Vegeta, who returned the glare. Chi-chi leaned forward, her hands holding tight to the railing in front of her as the starter raised the flag up into the air. Up and up it went, the movements seemed to be played in slow motion to those who had money riding on the outcome of the event and Gojyo fumbled for another cigarette.
"What is the final meal?" Hakkai whispered and Sanzo handed him his program. "Oh here it is. Dessert. Tiramisu, which is lady fingers dipped in a premium coffee blend, dusted with cocoa and topped with sliced almonds. You know, Goku looks pretty tired."
"They both look pretty tired," Sanzo commented as large bowls were brought out and set before the two finalists. Both raised their forks, glaring into each other's eyes, leaned forward and fell fast asleep face down in the dessert. The judges looked at the table and then at each other. Then at the table again. They talked amongst themselves, pointing at the table and then at a sheet of paper. Then one stood up and took the microphone from the announcer who had been giving a play by play commentary.
"It is decided," he said and Gojyo and Vegeta leaned forward in anticipation. "That the winner of this contest is...."
"Is what? Is who? Come on, spit it out!" Gojyo yelled.
"...Goku!"
"Thank god," Gojyo said and leaned back in his seat in relief.
"And..." the announcer said and Gojyo sat up in shock.
"And? What the hell do you mean by and?" he demanded.
"Goku!"
"WHAAAT?! A TIE?!" Vegeta cried.
"They will each get half of the prize money. As soon as they wake up, that is. Thanks to all that participated and we hope to see you again next year," the judge said and the announcer stood up indignantly.
"Wait a second!" the announcer cried as he pulled the microphone away from the judge. "Those are my lines! Don't try to steal them. So until next time, good-bye!" he cried as the remaining people in the stadium continued to stare with their mouths open.
"I can't believe they tied," Gojyo said as he leaned back in his seat in shock.
"So who wins that bet of yours?" Sanzo asked as he came up behind Gojyo.
"....a tie? Kakarrot you should have been able to beat that shrimp!" Vegeta cried.
"Hey! I think my Goku did quite well, thank you. You know if you thought you could have done better, you could have always participated," Chi-chi said and Vegeta glared at her.
"I do not subject myself to public mockery!"
"Um...please forgive me, but I believe you owe me both five hundred," Hakkai said and Vegeta looked at him.
"What are you talking about?" he asked.
"Well, I do believe I made a bet and you both lost. Please pay up."
"You bet on a....tie?" Gojyo asked and Hakkai nodded his head.
"Yes. I just couldn't decide which Goku to bet on so I bet on both."
"I hate you."
"Don't feel so bad, Gojyo. Maybe I'll lend you some money later. We need to wake our Goku up so we can get our share of the prize money. I think it'll be just enough to buy the provisions that we need."
"Goku, I'm so proud of you! We've got money for Gohan's college fund after all!" Chi-chi said as she shook her husband.
"Wha...?" Goku asked as he sleepily sat up. Chi-chi glared at him. "What's wrong?"
"What's wrong?! You've got crumbs all over your face! You look disgraceful, Goku!"
"Tell her to stop yelling," the other Goku yawned.
"Excuse me? What are you saying about me?" Chi-chi asked and the shorter Goku sat up in shock.
"Me?! I'm not saying anything. Man she's scary," he wispered.
"I heard that! Get over here! I'll make you pay!"
"Sanzo!!!"
"Goku, this is your own problem. Deal with it on your own," Sanzo said.
"Please, I'd like to have Goku's half of the prize money. We need to get on our way," Hakkai said to the judge as Goku wiped his face.
"Just a minute and we'll write you a check. You too, Mrs. Son," the judge said.
"I don't have a Mrs. Son," Goku said.
"He wasn't talking about you, Goku. He was talking to the other one," Hakkai said.
"Yeah, you stupid little monkey. Just shut up," Gojyo said and grabbed Goku.
"Let me go, you cockroach!" Goku cried.
"You made me lose a lot of money for not winning."
"Don't worry about it, Goku. We've made enough money for provisions," Hakkai said.
"Let's go, then," Sanzo said and lit a cigarette.
"I believe it would be appropriate to say goodbye to everyone."
"If they're still around," Gojyo said.
"We can always check outside. Let's go."
"Thank you very much for allowing our Goku to compete," Hakkai said as he took the check from the judge. "Come on everyone, let's go shopping. We have a long road ahead of us."
"Bye! I hope to see you again!" Goku cried.
"Good riddance," Vegeta said.
"I heard that, old man," Gojyo said and Vegeta glared at him.
"Old man? OLD man?! NO ONE gets away with that!"
"Vegeta, let them go," Goku said. "There's a lot of things that needs to be done. Come on, let's go find the others."