Dragon Ball/Z/GT Fan Fiction / Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ Peter Pan Classic Crossover ❯ Chapter 1

"Peter Pan": A Gundam Wing/DBZ Crossover/Parody

Miran Nerusonu

PART I: "THE CAST LIST"

Heero walked over to where the director had just posted the roles for "Peter Pan". Heero was less than enthusiastic about auditions, but of course, he had never performed in public before. Heero's eyes scrolled down the cast list:

"Peter Pan" Cast List

Director: Dr. J

Peter Pan........................................................................ ..................................Heero Yuy

Wendy Darling.................................................................... ....................Relena Peacecraft

Captain Hook....................................................................... ...................Tres Kushrenada

Smee........................................................... ................................................Zechs Marquis

Tinkerbell..................................................... .................................................Duo Maxwell

Tiger Lily....................................................................... ......................................Sally Poe

Tick-Tock...................................................... ................................................Wufei Chang

Lost Boys....................................................................... ..............................Trowa Barton Quatre Rabaubre Winner Trunks Briefs

Goku Son

Pan Son

Bra Briefs

Indians & Chief...................................................................... .........Romafeller Foundation

Pirates........................................................ .....................................................OZ Soldiers

John........................................................... .......................................................Gohan Son

Michael........................................................ .....................................................Goten Son

Mr. Darling.................................................................... .....................Milliardo Peacecraft

Mrs. Darling.................................................................... ...........................Lucrentia Noin

*Practices start tomorrow at 2:30 P.M.

Relena's Wendy... And Duo's Tinkerbell? Okay... That's just a bit weird, but I guess I can do this... It's just acting, anyways... Heero pondered as he walked home from try-outs.

"Heero! Heero! Wait up! Did you see the cast list? I made the part of Wendy Darling!" Relena said, very excited from her good news.

"I know..."

"Aren't you happy for me? We can be together on onstage as well as off."

"Excuse me?"

Relena's face was a deep strawberry red. "Uhh... Never mind."

Heero simply shrugged. "Whatever. See you tomorrow at practice."

"Yeah, see ya!"

PART II: "TIGHTS!?! WHAT TIGHTS!?!"

Dr. J was getting impatient. Relena was supposed to be there thirty minutes ago. "Where the Hell is Relena? She's in Scene One, so we need her... Now!"

At that moment, the door to the auditorium opened and Relena strolled in, "Sorry I'm late. I had a bit of business to take care of."

Dr. J merely grumbled, "Get up on stage! We had to wait thirty minutes for you, so I won't tolerate any mess, young lady! Noin, get Relena a script."

Noin did as she was told silently. It was better to stay silent as opposed to Dr. J getting even angrier. That was the last thing any of them needed.

Relena took her script and went up on the stage. Heero was leaning on the bed. Relena sat down next to him and crossed her legs.

"Now, let's get our first rehersal started! We only have four weeks to get everything perfect!"

Heero nodded in understanding, then walked offstage with Duo. Noin, Zechs, Gohan, Goten, and Relena were left on the stage. The first scene was in the Darling household...

Two and a half hours later, Dr. J had called everyone back to their seats. He was going to tell them about their costumes.

Duo looked over at Heero, who was sitting next to him. Duo's face showed that he was ready to get out of there and go home, but good luck getting out early.

"Attention, everyone! I have decided what costumes you will wear for the performance. Heero... You are going to wear a green spandex shirt, green shorts, and green tights. Relena... You will be wearing a light blue nightgown. Duo... Your costume will be a pink leotard, tights and tutu..."

The naming of costumes went on for about a half an hour, then Dr. J dismissed everyone from practice.

"What the hell? I have to wear tights!" Heero protested to Duo when they were at their home.

"Hey, at least you don't have to wear pink!"

Heero grinned at Duo, "I think you look good in pink."

Duo let out a loud sigh. "Dammit! That's the last thing I needed to hear, Heero."

"I'm only telling you what's true."

Duo picked up the magazine he was reading and threw it at Heero. He missed Heero's head by a mere inch.

"Such a temper, Duo," Heero said as he bent down to pick up the magazine. "Yeah, and this is the new issue, too..."

"Sorry..."

"It's okay... So, what do you think about Relena playing Wendy?"

Duo's eyes narrowed and his jaw became stiff. "I don't like it at all. I have my reasons, Heero..."

"Fine. Whatever you say... I'm going to bed. See you in the morning."

Heero walked out of the room, leaving Duo sitting alone in the den. I don't want her anywhere near him! He's mine! Duo thought as he sat on the couch.

PART III: "DIRECTOR'S CONFESSIONS"

"Attention, everyone! Before we start practice today, I have something to tell you all."

The once-noisy auditorium suddenly went silent.

"I... I rigged the cast list... I knew beforehand what relationships you all shared with each other..."

"What?" Heero yelled angrily, "You mean to tell me you know about me and Duo!?!"

"That... I didn't know... I did know, however, that Duo had a big time grudge against Relena. Therefore, he made the perfect 'Tinkerbell'."

Duo's eyes showed the anger he felt, even though his body did not show it. His voice was as sharp as a razor as he spoke, "You are not fit to be our director, Doctor J! You rigged the cast list and took advantage of your cast members!"

Relena's usually calm blue eyes now showed anger in them as she stared at Dr. J, then at Heero, "You both... You both took advantage of my feelings..." Relena walked over and slapped Heero hard. His face was red where her hand had struck his cheek, and Relena's eyes were as cold as ice as she looked at him. "I loved you, Heero... And what do you do in return? You go off and sleep with Duo!" She threw off her engagement ring, "Take this! I'm sure Duo can make more use of it than I could!" Relena stormed out of the auditorium, letting the door slam behind her.

Heero ran after Relena and caught her arm just as she was about to walk out the door, "Relena.... Wait..."

Relena's eyes held tears in them. Her heart was broken. "For what? You've already done the damage, Heero!"

"Dammit, Relena, I'm sorry! It wasn't supposed to happen like this..."

"Save your pleas, Heero Yuy. I'm gone."

Heero grabbed her shoulders and brought her to him. His lips met hers for a brief moment, then separated. "Relena, I love you. I always have, and I always will." Heero let her out of his grip.

Relena still had tears in her eyes as she looked at the boy she had always loved. I don't know how I can believe him... Not after what he's put me through, but somehow, I can, Relena thought as she looked at Heero. Relena broke down into sobs. She could trust Heero... He had saved her many a time. Why shouldn't their love be any different?

Duo cleared his throat, bringing Heero and Relena back to the real world. "Uhh, excuse me, but we do have a rehersal to have!"

"Sorry, Duo..."

"So, what have you decided to do with Dr. J?"

"Ohh... He'll be spending the rest of rehersal all tied up, as you could say."

Heero and Relena glanced at each other, then Heero laughed. "After all he's put us through, he deserves that! We don't need him, anyways. We can manage rehersals just fine without him."

PART IV: "OPENING NIGHT"

Four weeks had passed since the cast first assembled on a cold February night. Tonight was opening night, and everything was perfect. Everyone had their costumes on, and they were all excited.

"Okay, everyone! Tonight's the night. Either we get it right now, or don't get it right at all," Duo said as encouragingly as he could.

Heero nodded his understanding. "Break a leg, but not literally."

Smiles crept across the faces of cast and stage crew alike as the got the gist of the well-wishing.

PART V: "THE PERFORMANCE"

Mrs. Darling: Wendy, take good care of the boys while we're out.

Mr. Darling: Yes, Dear. Take good care of them. We'll be back in a couple of hours.

[Darling parents exit.]

Wendy: John, Michael, you both have got to take your medicine.

Michael: Don't wanna!

Wendy: But you have to. Especially if you want to grow up to be big and strong like father.

Michael: I don't want to be like father! I like being a little boy.

[Wendy hears a tapping noise on the window.]

John: What's that noise?

Wendy: Sounds like robbers. Go hide.

Michael: Wendy, I'm scared....

[Peter Pan manages to unlock the window and get in.]

Peter Pan: Let's go, Tink... Now, where'd my shadow go to? Shadow.... Shadow.... [Looks over at Tink.]

Tinkerbell: [Flies over to the dresser and points to the middle drawer.]

Peter Pan: That's where they hid it?

Tinkerbell: Why the hell do you think I'm over here?

Peter Pan: Sheesh! So rude! [Goes over to the drawer and gets his shadow out.] Now to reattatch it to me... Hey, Tink!

Tinkerbell: [Yelling.] What?

Peter Pan: I just wanted to know if you could help me get this back on...

Tinkerbell: Sure I can. Let me just get my gun... [Tinkerbell searches through its pocket for the gun, and finds it. Takes the gun out and points it at Peter.]

Peter Pan: Put that away! [Looks around the room.] Ahh, needles and thread...

Wendy: [Comes out of hiding.] You don't know how to sew, do you?

Peter Pan: Uhh.... No... I guess I don't...

Wendy: Well, then I guess I'll have to sew it on for you, then. [Sews on the shadow.]

Peter Pan: Fine. I have things to do, so hurry up!

Wendy: [Finishes sewing the shadow and bats Peter on the head.] How rude!

Peter Pan: [Rubs his head where she hit him.] Sorry! By the way, what ever happned to Shenshi in that story your mom was telling you?

Wendy: Oh, that! She was banished to her island for eternity...

Peter Pan: [Gets up and walks to the window.] Well, I guess I'd better go tell the rest of the lost boys.

Wendy: Oh, no! Don't leave...

Peter Pan: But I have to. The pirates will try to attack them if I don't return.

[John and Michael come out of hiding.]

Michael: Pirates!?! Are there really pirates where you live?

Peter Pan: Sure. Their leader is Captain Hook.

Wendy: Peter, where do you live?

Peter Pan: In a place called "Neverland".

Wendy: I've heard of no such place.

Peter Pan: It doesn't exist in this world. It exists in your imagination.

Michael: Can we go?

Wendy: Michael!

Michael: Can we, Peter?

Peter Pan: Sure... Just think of lovely thoughts...

[Michael, Wendy, and John all squeeze their eyes shut.]

Peter Pan: [Stage whisper to Tinkerbell.] Tink! Tink! Come here!

Tinkerbell: [Walks over to Peter.] Whaddaya want?

Peter Pan: Sprinkle some of your fairy dust on them.

Tinkerbell: [Narrows eyes at Peter.] Go to hell!

Peter Pan: Please, Tink. They really want to see our home.

Tinkerbell: [Giving in to Peter's request.] Fine. I'm only doing this because I like you, though. [Sprinkles "fairy dust" on the Darling children.]

[Darling children begin to rise off of the floor and open their eyes.]

[On the ground, Neverland.]

Trunks: Look at the birdie in the sky...

Quatre: Bird, eh?

Trunks: [Eager expression.] Can I shoot it down?

Goku: Wait until Peter comes back. Then he can tell us.

[Tinkerbell lands in front of the lost boys.]

Tinkerbell: Peter says shoot the bird...

Goku: I guess that decides it... Go on ahead and shoot it down, Trunks.

Trunks: [Broad grin as he brings his hands above his head.] MASENKO!!! [Blast shoots off to the side of Wendy, but through the roof.] I shot it! I shot it!

[Wendy falls down to the ground. Peter flies down and lands in front of the boys. Tinkerbell is hiding behind a tree.]

Peter Pan: [In a commanding tone.] Who shot her down? I brought her here to tell us stories, and this is how you thank her?

Trunks: [In a quiet voice, afraid of Peter.] I... I did...

Peter Pan: [Anger showing in eyes.] How dare you!

Trunks: Tink told me to..

Peter Pan: [Angry tone of voice.] Tink...

Wendy: [Lifts her hand up to Peter's shoulder.] Peter... Leave Tinkerbell alone...

Peter Pan: After what she did? That is unexcusable!

[The boys hear a cracking sound.]

Peter Pan: I'll handle you later, Tink. Now, everyone into the hideout!

[Lost Boys, Peter, and the Darling children go into the hideout.]

Captian Hook: I told you not to make any noise!

Smee: Sorry, Cap'n...

Captain Hook: I'm sure those damn boys know we're here...

Pirate: Look, Cap'n... Smoke comin' from that tree stump.

Captain Hook: [Turns around to see the stump.] Aye. So it is... Smee! Raise the stump.

Smee: Aye-Aye, Cap'n! [Lifts the stump up. Smoke billows out.] Owowowowowow!

Captain Hook: [Bats Smee on the head with his hook.] Hush! [Looks into the stump after smoke clears.]Ahhh... It is the hideout! Away to the ship with ye, lads! We've got plannin' ta do.

[Underground lair of the lost boys.]

Peter Pan: [To Lost Boys] Wendy's come here to be our mother.

Lost Boys: [In chorus.] A mother! A mother! We finally have a mother!

Wendy: [Looks over at Peter.] But they need a father, too, Peter. Why don't you be their father?

Peter Pan: Only if it's make-believe....

Wendy: Okay. Then it's settled. Peter is your father, and I am your mother.

Goku: I'm hungry, mother. Is there anything to eat?

[Lost boys look outside and see a feast.]

Goku: [Excited expression.] Yay! There's plenty of food.

Peter Pan: Hold on a second! It seems awfully strange that a bunch of food should be in front of our house so suddenly...

Goku: Aw! Who cares? It's food, and that's what counts.

Wendy: I think you should take Peter's advice and don't eat it..

Peter Pan: [Looks over at Wendy and smiles.] Why thank you, Wendy.

Wendy: No problem, Peter. Listen, boys, if you want me to tell you a story, then to your beds now.

[Lost Boys scramble into their beds. Wendy is sitting on a stool.]

[Captain Hook's Ship.]

Captain Hook: So me little plan didn't work, 'ey? Oh, well. Tiger Lily'll bring Peter ta me. Smee! Take ten of our men and go capture Tiger Lily. I don't think Peter would mind the reunion. [Captain Hook laughs wickedly as Smee and some pirates leave.]

[Tiger Lily's Camp.]

Tiger Lily: Us um killum pirate. Ambush.

Indians: Ambushum pirate.

Tiger Lily: Ripum to pieces.

[Indians cheer for Tiger Lily's idea. Smee and Pirates capture Tiger Lily.]

Indians: Tiger Lily been captured! Getum pirate! Getum Pirate! Getum Pirate! [Indians chase after Smee and pirates.]

[Smee and pirates hear the war cries and rush as fast as possible back to the ship.]

[Captain Hook's Ship.]

Captain Hook: [Overjoyed at having captured Tiger Lily successfully.] Get her tied up! Smee! It's time we gave Peter our invitation. [Hook lets out a sinister laugh, but hears Tick-Tock coming.] Smee! It's him! It's the crocodile!

Tick-Tock: Damn right it's me! I've come for your other hand, Hook!

Smee: I'll shoot 'im Cap'n. [Takes out a gun, but by time he does, Tick-Tock is gone.]

Captain Hook: Damn crocodile took off me hand several years back... He won't get the other one! [Walks over to where Tiger Lily is tied up and touches her under her chin with his hand.] Now me Pretty, you're going to bring Peter Pan to me!

[Peter's Hideout.]

[An arrow flies onstage and lands in the door of the hideout.]

Peter: What's this here? [Takes the arrow off the door and unties the message curled around it.] Tiger Lily? We don't have Tiger Lily... Hook must have her! [Drops the arrow message on the ground and flies off in the direction of Hook's Ship.]

Wendy: [Comes out to see what's up and sees Peter flying off.] Where's he going? [Sees the arrow message and picks it up.] He's going to Captain Hook's ship... Oh, dear... Boys! Boys!

[Lost boys rush out of the hideout.]

Pan: What's the matter, Wendy? We heard you call for us.

Wendy: Peter's gone off to get Tiger Lily from Captain Hook. You all must go help him.

Bra: All right, troops! Let's go help Peter! [Lost Boys rush into the forest in the same direction Peter flew off in.]

Wendy: Oh, I do hope they get there in time...

[In the forest.]

Indian Chief: Getum Lost Boy when come in forest.

Misc. Indian: Here come Lost Boy thisaway.

[Lost Boys pass by the Indians. Indians ambush Lost Boys. A small fight ensues, the Indians win. The Indians escort the Lost Boys to their camp.]

[Tiger Lily's Camp.]

[The Lost Boys are tied around a pole.]

Indian Chief: Unless Tiger Lily come back before sunset, you be killed.

[Lost Boys and Darling Children exchange glances.]

Bra: But we didn't take Tiger Lily!

Indian Chief: No excuses! If Tiger Lily not return by sunset, you die! [Walks off.]

Goku: Can we at least get some food? I'm starving!

Trowa: You're always hungry. Be like us for once and don't complain.

Goku: Who said I'm complaining? When I get out of these ropes, I'll show you who's complaining! [Powers up, causing the ropes around him to burn and separate.]

Quatre: Save it, you two! Let's get outta here so we can help Peter!

[Lost Boys quietly sneak out of the camp.]

[Captain Hook's Ship.]

Pirates: Yo ho! Yo ho! We're gonna get Peter Pan!

Captain Hook: Aye, me buckoes, we are! [Sees Peter in the air.] Down me laddies!

[Peter Pan lands on the deck of the ship.]

Peter Pan: Where's Tiger Lily, Hook?

Captain Hook: Hidden away... Like any of my other treasures.

Peter Pan: I want her back, Hook. Now!

Captain Hook: Tsk, tsk, Peter. You can have her back... But you have to fight me for her. If you win, then you get Tiger Lily back, but if I win, then you die! Either way, we each get what we want.

Peter Pan: Then come at it, ya old hentai! [Takes out his rapier.]

Captain Hook: Hentai, eh, Peter? You'd know the meaning of the word better than I... [Unsheathes his sword and crosses it with Peter's. A battle ensues between them.]

Peter Pan: Prepare to meet your maker, Hook! [Thrusts at Hook.]

Captain Hook: [Dodges the thrust and counters with his sword.] My maker? Strong words for a coward!

Peter Pan: [Stops his attack for the moment.] Coward? You're calling me a coward?

Captain Hook: Damn right, boy!

Peter Pan: I'll show you cowardly! [Draws a pistol and points it at Hook.] So, who's the coward now, Hook?

Captain Hook: Still you, boy! [Knocks the pistol out of Peter's hand with his hook, and stabs Peter Pan in the chest.] Die, Peter!

[Lost Boys see Peter fall and rush onto the ship. Tinkerbell is near, too.]

Tinkerbell: [Angry, tears in its eyes.] You killed Peter! [Draws a pistol and fires at Hook. Bullet misses, but Hook is off-balanced and is sent crashing onto the stage. Tick-Tock appears.]

Tick-Tock Heheh... Looks like you're finally mine, Hook!

Captain Hook: [Yells as he realizes that he's near Tick-Tock.]

Tick-Tock: Run, Hook, Run! I've come to take you to your maker!

[Captain Hook runs offstage, followed by Tick-Tock. Peter manages to sit up.]

Peter Pan: So, Hook got me... Take Tiger Lily back to the camp... Tink, thanks.

Tinkerbell: [Leans over and kisses Peter on his lips.] It's nothing...

[Wendy rushes on the ship.]

Wendy: [Sees Peter.] Oh, Peter...

Peter Pan: Go home, Wendy... Go back to London... Neverland isn't a place for young girls like you...

Wendy: I can't leave you like this, Peter...

Peter Pan: Do as I say, Wendy! Take the Lost Boys and leave!

Wendy: [Reluctantly leaves.] Goodbye, Peter...

[Peter Pan dies.]

PART VI: "THE CAST PARTY"

"A job well done, everyone!" Duo chimed as all of the cast and crew members sat at the bar drinking beer and sake. "Nice dying scene, Heero..."

But Heero was in his own little world. He had Relena sitting on his lap, making out with him. "Huh? What? Who died?"

"Never mind..."

"Oh, okay..."

Goku was at the buffet table loading up on food. "Anybody want any before I get to it?" No one heard him. "Okay then." Goku's eyes widened as he took in the full view of the food laid before him. "A world class feast for a world class actor."

Two hours later, everyone was drunk from one thing or another.

"Let's play Strip Poker..."

"All right... Guys against girls."

"Okay."

"Relena, Pan, Noin, Bra, and Sally, you guys are a team..."

"Can we strip without playing the game?"

Thirty pairs of eyes looked over at Duo.

"What? What'd I say?"

Just then, Pan walked over to Duo, sat in his lap, and nuzzled him, partly from the alcohol, partly from her own desires. "I can give you your own strip show..."

Duo and Pan walked off into a darkened part of the bar. Several minutes later, a chorus of moans echoed throughout the bar. No one thought anything of it.

"Hehe... My granddaughter's havin' a good time, it seems..."

Soon, Quatre and Trowa had gone off to have their own little private "party", and so had Goten and Trunks...

The next morning, everyone had a massive hangover and maybe a numb body part or two...

Duo and Relena lay on either side of Heero when he awakened. "What the hell happened last night?" he thought, "Oh, yeah..." Heero grinned broadly at the two people on either side of him. Last night had been the best night of his life. So what if the play was a complete flop? He had had a very pleasant night with the two people he loved. That was worth more than any critic's review.

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What a heartwarming story, eh? I wrote this to commemorate my school's production of "Peter Pan"... And unlike the GW and DBZ Crew's production, ours was a big success. ^_^

Our Director also was a hundred times nicer than Dr. J was! ^_^

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