Dragon Ball/Z/GT Fan Fiction / InuYasha Fan Fiction / Rurouni Kenshin Fan Fiction ❯ The Security Squad ❯ VANDALISM ( Chapter 2 )

VANDALISM

Disclaimer: We, the Ookami Tsusumu, do not own any of the characters featured in our fanfics. All ideas are created from our memories of events that occurred in our lives, or in the lives of fictional characters, whom we had the pleasure of running into! Enjoy!

All the security squad members, finally having completed their training and collected all of their gear, go to celebrate at the Minky Paw Bar. Excited, the entire squad walks a couple of blocks from the training camp grounds, and enters the bar. Everyone enjoys the drinks, some more than others…

Miroku sits on a stool between two women. First he looks at the one on the right, then after an hour or so, looks at the one on the left. Another hour later, Miroku places a hand on each woman's shoulder and begins his conversation.

Miroku:

"Hello there ladies. I am but a humble monk who has fallen in love with you. My life is short, so will you marry me and bear my children?!"

Women in tandom:

"Get away from us, you freak!" -Each woman slaps one of his cheeks, and then they both kick him straight in the nuts-

Both women leave, at which point Roshi sits down beside Miroku, who is now holding his wounded cheeks and nuts lovingly in his hands.

Roshi:

"Hahaha! Yez `oung apprentz, zat's the way youz talk to ze ladies! Not bad for beginner, but let ze master show ya!"

Roshi looks around and heads to a crowd of beautiful college girls. He slowly sneaks up on them, and jumps into the center of the crowd.

Roshi:

"Hey beautifools! How'sa boot youz and mea go danczing?!"

Crowd of Girls:

"Eeeekkk! Get away from us you dirty old man! We aren't drunk enough to go anywhere with you, let alone look at you!!"

After a beating at the hands of the girls, Roshi, battered and bruised, returns ashamed to Miroku at the bar counter.

Roshi:

"Zey was too drunky to zee da pootential in this zestay boday."

On the other side of the bar, Goku, Inu Yasha, and Kenshin have some drinks. They know their limits and stop before they get drunk. Launch (in her blue-haired form) refuses to drink at all, she thinks it's morally corrupt. Misao, Oxking, Oolong, and Hercule, on the other hand, all get wasted. The group is laughing and enjoying their achievement of becoming Security Squad members, so they don't notice when Hercule steps outside. In his drunken haze, Hercule searches for the bathroom in the parking lot. He stumbles around the parking lot trying to open car doors thinking they are washroom stalls. He finally finds an unlocked car, opens the door, unzips his pants, and lets it rain. His piss hits Bubbles, who is deep in sleep on the car seat. Having relieved himself Hercule stumbles around in circles in the parking lot.

Bubbles wakes up a few seconds later and feeling himself wet, thinks that it had rained. Hungry for a snack, he puts some money in the vending machine in the parking lot of the Minkey Paw Bar. Bubbles presses only 1 of the buttons, the one that selects the row, and completely forgets to press the second one, the one that selects the column, because he is so hungry. The snack does not come out of the machine, due to his error, and this really pisses off Bubbles, so he starts hitting the machine.

Hercule walks up to Bubbles and decides that this crime against the vending machine needed to be stopped by the Security Squad.

Hercule:

"Step awayz from ze machin! … U fat ulgz munkeeey! I'm za greeeeat Herculezez, atalking to ya!"

Bubbles, thinking that this man might be kind enough to lend him a bit of money to finally get his snack, approaches Hercule. Hercule, playing the superhero, thought that Bubbles was attacking him. He also saw 3 extra Bubbles! This causes Hercule to lose his "courage" faster than usual. Hercule then curls into a ball on the floor and calls in the full force of the team, using his walkie-talkie.

Hercule:

"Cshhhhhhhhh! Ziz is Tango leader! Need back-upz! Codz 211 in progess! Iz hava saflingo minkre upseh mife moknet! Over. Cshhhhhh!"

(Translation of what Hercule thinks he's saying: "Cshhhh. This is Tango leader. I need backup, there is a code 211 in progress. I have an enraged monkey on my hands, get down here now! Over Cshhh."

(Code 211: Officer Down!)

Kenshin receives the distress call and the others close by all listen in. After hearing Hercule's drunken mumbo jumbo they sit in silence trying to decipher what he had said. Moments later Roshi comes up with something…

Roshi:

"Hez ah gotten a pea stuck urp in hiz ah nozzzz!"

Goku:

"No, he said that he has monkey stuck up his ass!"

Kenshin:

"No, no, that it is not. He said there is a code 211 and we must save him from Icarus-Bod Crane."

Launch:

"Actually it's Ica-bod Crane."

Kenshin:

"Oh…*coughs*"

After accepting Roshi's explanation, for lack of anything better to think, the team rushes out to aid Hercule in his time of need. Specializing in the removal of evil peas, the first squad that heads out the door is Squad 2: Oolong, Roshi, and Miroku. They see Bubbles and a fallen Hercule. Oolong turns into a banana to draw Bubbles' attention away from Hercule. Miroku then jumps into the air and comes down aiming for Bubbles' head, but because of his drunken state, he hits the ground in front of Bubbles, and lands on the transformed Oolong. Miroku and banana Oolong go slipping into a wall and are rendered unconscious. Fortunately, the impact of Miroku's fall causes Bubbles to go flying head first into Master Roshi. Roshi gets thrown to the floor and launches a Ka-me-ha-me-ha wave straight up into the air.

At this point, Squad 4: Launch, Misao, and Ox King; enter the scene. Launch runs up to Bubbles to stop him and at the same exact time Misao whips a few of her darts in Bubbles' direction.

Misao:

"Dance, little monkey! Dance!"

But being drunk, her aim is thrown off track and she misses her intended target. Instead of hitting Bubbles, they get in the way of Launch's footsteps and cause her to hit the ground hard, face first. Then Ox King and Misao rush to Bubbles and as they get closer, Ox King, pushes Misao aside, so that he can be the first one to get to Bubbles. Being drunk, Ox King uses more power than he wanted to. Because of his unexpected power, Misao goes flying through the entrance of the Minkey Paw Bar. Then Ox King's attack on the monkey culprit enters into a slow-mode sequence. Kind of like the matrix style.

Ox King:

"Aaawwww wwwwwwiiiiiiilllllll sssssssssssttttttttooooooooooooppppppp yyyyuuuuuzzzzz!"

Slowly, very slowly, Ox King runs to Mr. Bubbles and starts to body-slam him.

Squad 1: Goku, Kenshin, and Inu Yasha; see Misao go flying past them as they run towards the entrance to the Minky Paw Bar. Goku goes after Misao to check on her condition and to find out what happened. Kenshin and Inu Yasha head out to help their fallen comrade, Hercule.

Just as Kenshin and Inu Yasha enter the scene, the Ox King begins his body-slam attack on Bubbles but just as he is a foot from Bubbles, the Ka-me-ha-me-ha wave from Master Roshi comes back down and hits him.

Inu Yasha unsheathes Tetsusaiga believing that it was Bubbles who attacked all of his comrades. Kenshin, on the other hand, looks about and sees that each member of the previous squads are knocked out all over the place. Being a master swordsman, and knowing general fighting logic, Kenshin realizes that it is impossible for one person to do all of this, let alone a monkey, unless they possessed extraordinary powers and skills. Since Kenshin did not sense anything of the sort when he entered the scene, he concluded that there was no way Bubbles could have attack all of them; or that maybe this Bubbles was just too powerful for them to handle. Just as the Tetsusaiga was about to cut Bubbles in half, Kenshin stopped it with his sakabato (reverse-blade sword).

Inu Yasha:

"What the hell do you think you're doing?! This monkey attacked all of the other squads! We must kill it!!!!"

Kenshin:

"No. That we must not. This one monkey does not posses the strength, power, or skill to do what you said. That it doesn't. And even if this little one did, it would not be wise of us to challenge so great a power, that it would not!"

Just then Hercule gets up and notices that Bubbles is facing in the opposite direction and his "courage" returns. He rises up and charges at the unsuspecting monkey.

Hercule:

"Hahahaha! I willz stopsi this monter and Chief will know that Im za best! Now ze rest of the team will bowet at me feetses! Hahahahahahahahahahahahaha!"

In his blinded pre-empted victory, Hercule accidently steps on Oolong (still the banana) and slips. Sliding, Hercule hits down both Inu Yasha and Kenshin, causing them to hit their heads on the floor, knocking them out. Hercule then continues sliding and hits the vending machine, causing the snack Bubbles wanted, by chance, to fall out. Happy with finally receiving a snack, Bubbles grabs it, beats his chest savagely, and heads on his way home; leaving most of the superb Security Squad unconscious in the parking lot.

Goku then enters the scene, with Misao on his shoulder, and sees everyone on the floor, and no culprit in sight. With no clues, and unable to decipher the situation; Goku does what he does best and slowly lugs everyone back to the HQ using his brute strength. He then puts his wounded comrades into each of their own beds and takes the post of watch for the night.

Hope you all enjoyed that! Give some reviews letting us know what you want the squads to encounter next! What each squad should do and so on. We really want to hear what people want to read. Thanks!

Authors: Grifter, Chokoreeto Ame, Papa Smurfola, and Mek Mek