Dragon Ball/Z/GT Fan Fiction ❯ A CHRISTMAS SECRET? ❯ Chrismas Secret ( Chapter 1 )

[ Y - Young Adult: Not suitable for readers under 16 ]
Piccolo:MERRY FUCKING CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!

Gohan:You mean, we can fuck on christmas?

Goten:Whatamahoo? whos fucking where?

Gohan:Me and piccolo...your bed...5 minutes

Goten:Oh hell naw...i already got Videl scheduled in 3...

Gohan:Oh...her...no biggie..me and piccolo will just have to reschedule

Chi-Chi:*slaps GohaN* YOU ARE NOT MAKING ME RESCHEDULE THE PARTY AGAIN!

Gohan:What the fuck? bitch...what are you talking about?

Goku:Hehehe...my gay son, she meant to slap me, but too much eggnog made her think I was you...HAHAHAHAHAHHA

Chi-Chi:*hic*you shut the *hic* hell up!*hic*

Goku:Where the fuck is everybody else?

Trunks:POONTANG!!!

Goku:Bingo Trunks....hey Johnny tell 'em what hes won!

Monster Truck DBZ Announcer:ON Sunday,SUNDAY,SUNDAY!...Trunks gets Bulma,BULMA,BULMA! alone in a honeymoon suite,SUITE,SUITE!, with a full box of condoms,CONDOMS,CONDOMS! and KY JELLY,JELLY,JELLY!

Trunks:BOO YAH!

Goku:Hes just joking...now get your gayass out of my house...and i hope FUNi fires you!

Trunks:I aint gay...

Goku:Of course not...i was talking to the announcer

Trunks:OH!!!...but seriously do i get Bulma?

Goku:Hell no.

Trunks:Bummer dude...

Krillin:*walks in* BRING ME THE VIRGINS!

#18:*smacks krillin*Your with me now, remember?

Krillin:DAMMIT!

Yamcha:*walks in* BRING ME THE VIRGINS!

Puar:*smacks yamcha*your with me now, remember?

Yamcha:DAMMIT!

*all puke but Goku*

Goku:Uh...i dont get it...

Gohan:Dammit man...hes fucking a cat...

Goku:Uh...

Gohan:Hes porkin' the pussy!

Goku:*vomits over Gohan* SICK!

Chi-Chi:DAMMIT GOKU*slaps him* DONT PUKE ON OUR SON!

Vegeta:Hi guys....OH SICK*vomits on the floor*

Goten:What is up with that, foo?

Mr. Popo:*walks in*Whats up my ghetto bruthas on the west side...i bees representing with the bling-bling*makes gang sign*

Goten:Hey man, did you see that?

Trunks:Hell yah i did...*pulls out gun*

Goten:You better run you fucking ara-negro! *procedes to bust a cap in popo's ass*

Popo:Aww shizit...is this the end for the bi-racial gardener?

Trunks:Naw not yet...*kicks Popo in the knuts*now your a bi-racial impotent gardener.

Vegeta:Join the club man!

Goku:The fock? your a bi-racial gardener?

Vegeta:Moron..*slaps Goku a la Majin Buu Saga* I MEANT IMPOTENCY!

Bulma:He does gardening too...even has the apron...

Vegeta:DAMMIT WOMEN...YOU SAID IT WAS A SECRET!

King Vegeta:Hes also bi-racial...his mom was a black saiyan whore!

Vegeta:DAMN YOU ALL!!!!

King Vegeta and Bulma:Its all true!

All but Veggie:*laughing asses off rolling on the floor*

Vegeta:Must find out past...must prove asshole of a father wrong!

King Vegeta:Good luck, farmer John!

Vegeta:AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH*blows up house*

Goku:Goddammit...you blew up my fuckin' house!

Vegeta:GBLARGH AMAMFRAAZIT GRRBLOW!

Goten:And i thought we were fucked up...

Trunks:GRBAZA MMMMFOWA KRAPLOW!

Goten:Ok, we are fucked up!

Vegeta:Must kill father!

Ghost of Bardock:ASSHOLE...DO YOU HAVE TO KILL EVERYONES DAD?!

Vegeta:WTF?...Frieza did that!

Bardock:Hey Gohan...wheres Freiza?

Gohan:Uh...Backroom at Le Bootay

Bardock:Thank you...*flies off*

Vegeta:What was the point of that?

*gets poked by a pencil*

HamtaroManme:Shut the fuck up,asshole and maybe i'll give you a cock!

Vegeta:Yes sir...i'll be quiet..

Goku:VEGETA!!! VEGETA!!! VEGETA..TALK YOU ASSHOLE!

Trunks:Shut the fuck up Goku...i want Vegeta to have a cock so maybe i can get a lil bro to steal weed for me!

Goku:Sorry dude..

Trunks:Stupid focker...

Vegeta:What was i gonna do?

Goten:You were gonna fuck your father...

Vegeta:REALLY?!!!

Goten:No,not really, i was kidding

Vegeta:Fuckin' kids...

King Vegeta:I'm gonna go back to Plant Vegeta and get you a brother.

Vegeta:Hey pops...i just had a thought...your FUCKIN' DEAD! Frieza raped you good and your dead...

King Vegeta:Dammit my disguise is broken...*takes off suit* I AM FRIEZA..THE RAPER OF KING VEGETA!!!

Goten:And Gohan too...

*gohan punches Goten*

Gohan:You said you'd keep it secret!!!

Goku:Oh shut up son...everyone knew it already...it was in the National Enquirer!

Frieza:Now Gohan...come peacefully to my lair and it wont hurt...too much!

Vegeta:God damn...this is lame...how many fucking times is Hamtaroman gonna have Frieza fail to rape Gohan?

HamtaroMan:Thats it...no cock for you Veggie!

Trunks:NO!!!!!!!!!! I WANTED A BROTHER FOR CHRISTMAS!!!

Vegeta:Ah shit...maybe next year...

Trunks:GAZZABWAGH ARMFALLEZA MITOO!!!!

Goten:Oh shit...there he goes again..

Trunks:Need some sexing...must goto Le Bootay!

Frieza:I bought the place...only gay men now!

Trunks:NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!

Gohan:YESSSSS SSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!

Bulma:So i'm unemployed?

Trunks:Not when i'm around! *showers Bulma in money*

Piccolo:Eww incest!

Gohan:What?...what about all those times you screwed your sis...

Piccolo:*grabs Gohan* SHUT UP!!!!*throws him in the ocean*

Chi-Chi:DONT THROW GOHAN INTO THE OCEAN!!!*slaps him*

Piccolo:But i'm straight now!

Krillin:WAAAH????

Chi-Chi:Thats no excuse for killing Gohan...

Piccolo:Sounded good enough to me...

Frieza:Here is my chance! *sneaks out to get Gohan*

Vegeta:*grabs Frieza*Not so fast gay boy...i can use you...

Frieza:In many kinky ways and positions?

Vegeta:EWW NO...FUCKIN SICK!...your gonna rape my ghost father and make him tell the truth about my mother!

Frieza:I've never raped a dead guy before...

Vegeta:Just think of it as Gohan...just not as juicy!

Goku:Aww sick...and i thought only Piccolo got it on with Gohan.

Gohan:*in the water*Theres too many guys to mention...

Goku:Ya'll hear something?

Goten:Its just Yamcha and Puar!

Yamcha:*in back room* IM READING A BOOK!

Trunks:Yah right..."How to fuck cats"

Goku:*faceplant* Oh thats great...

Goten:What the fuck pops? that was lame

Vegeta:SILENCE...back to the matter at hand

Trunks:Yah...Yamcha's hand on Puar!

Goku:*on the floor laughing* Oh lord...this kid is slayin' me...

Goten:I really need to have a not retarded father...

Vegeta:SILENCE INFIDEL!!! we need to address the situation here!

Trunks:We need to have Yamcha stop undressing Pua..*gets slapped by Vegeta*

Vegeta:DAMMIT SON..SHUT YOUR FUCKING MOUTH!

Trunks:Ok sorry...i'll be quiet now..

Goku:*pouts* Oh darn..

Goten:Darn?...god my dad is a pussy... and retarded!

Trunks:Yamcha is screwing a pu...*gets knocked out by vegeta*

Vegeta:GOD DAMN KID...WONT SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!

Goten:Man...you hit him pretty hard...

Vegeta:Was it something like this?! *knocks out Goten*

Goten:Hell naw...Bulma hits me harder during sex...*pases out*

Vegeta:Hate kids...why did i even have one?

Bulma:You never did...

Vegeta:Oh yah....FRIEZA...your...talents...are needed now!

Frieza:OK!

Vegeta:I want you to use any methods neccasary to exploit the truth of my mother from my father!

Freiza:It will be done...

*10 minutes later*

Vegeta:God that is a lot of screaming...

Goku:My fracking ears hurt...isn't that right Lefty?

Vegeta:Dont start that shit again...*knocks Goku out cold*

Goku:Damn..didn't now i was fighting Chi-Chi..*passes out*

Vegeta:Ah all alone...better make myself at home...*takes off pants*

Krillin:God dammit...OK...3 things...we are OUTSIDE! and i'm still here!

Vegeta:Ok...2 things...your not a person...and what was your third thing?

Krillin:Ok..2 things...I AM A PERSON DAMMIT...and 2nd...PUT SOME DAMN UNDERWEAR ON

Vegeta:Oh shit...*puts pants back on* sorry...

Krillin:Its ok...

Vegeta:But anyways, really...your not a person...you have to have a nose to be a person...your just...a...thing!

Krillin:I'M A PERSON, DAMMIT!

Vegeta:Ah fuck it..*knocks krillin out*

Krillin:ooh #18...you hit hard...for a girl *passes out*

Frieza:*panting*Ok...your father said it was cruel joke...your mom is still a whore...but she wasn't black...

Vegeta:Good...your time here is done! *beats the shit outta Frieza*

Frieza:You fight like Gohan...*passes out*

Vegeta:So many people i beat the shit out of...i'm a stud!

Frieza:I was kidding...your mom was a negro! *passes out*

Vegeta:BASTARD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*the end*