Dragon Ball/Z/GT Fan Fiction ❯ A Day at the Asylum ❯ One-Shot

Author: Murasaki Rose
Email: jianu_dbz@hotmail.com
Archive?: Go for it! Just let me know where so I can link to ya!

Warnings: OOC, perverted saiya-jin, minor swearing, and silliness
Title: A Day at the Asylum
Series: DBZ
Genre: Humor
Notes: " " = speech, ' ' = thought, ~ ~ = telepathy; Warning, these ain't your Goku and Vegeta, they're my little interactive copies. They're mallet sensitive and lots more trouble than the originals. *grins evilly* And a lot more fun.

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Morning, and what a beautiful morning it was. The sun was shining, the birds were singing, just the cheerful type of morning that made Murasaki Rose want to blow something up. If she were awake that is.

"Zzzzzzz. . . ." rolling onto her back, Rose's tail flopped over the bedside, the auburn length coiling and uncoiling gently.

BEEP!! BEEP!! BEEEP!! BEEEP!!!

Shrieking in shock, she shot up and blasted the alarm clock. 'Bakayarou alarm.'

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"`Geeetaaaa, where's the syrup?" Goku whined at the shorter saiya-jin from his position by the stove, he was making pancakes but had neglected to search for the necessities before starting and now he couldn't leave them unattended.

"The cabinet on your left, baka."

"Nuh-uh, I already checked there."

Rolling his eyes, Vegeta opened his mouth to berate the younger warrior then stopped, deciding that it really wasn't worth it. Not before breakfast anyway, the last thing he needed was for Kakarott to start whining at Rose before she woke completely up. The loony onna would be sure to take it out on him later. "Did you check the pantry?"

"Iie. I can't leave these or they'll burn," Goku pouted. "Would you go look?"

"Breakfast is your responsibility today, you go look!"

"But `Geta, the pancakes . . ."

Snarling, Vegeta stomped over to the stove and held his hand out, his left eye twitching in irritation. Realizing the older man's intent but amazingly oblivious to his anger, Goku handed his spatula to the ouji and skipped out of the kitchen. "Sankyuu, `Geta!"

"Baka."

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Yawning loudly Rose stretched, disturbing the sleep of the two kitties curled up on the end of her bed. Growling softly, the flame-haired Vegeta kitty glared up at his owner, unhappy at having been woken. In a manner very similar to his purple haired mistress, the spiky-haired Goku kitty yawned and stretched, then rolled over onto his back cocking his head to one side, wagging his tail endearingly. "Shameless aren't we?" Rose chuckled, scratching the orange-coated kitty on the belly. Not at all pleased with the attention his cheerful companion was receiving the blue-coated kitty crawled onto Rose's lap, nuzzling insistently until she began to pet him as well. "Let's go see if the boys have destroyed the kitchen yet, na?" Placing a kitty on each shoulder, the demi-saiya-jin slid off her bed and headed towards the kitchen, grabbing her glasses on the way.

The sight that greeted her when she reached the kitchen would have sent Chichi into shock and certainately would have made a normal person cry. But Rose wasn't Chichi and she sure as hell wasn't normal, she was used to it by now. It was just one of the hazards of living with these particular saiya-jin. What was in there was nothing short of a complete disaster. Pancake batter dripped down the cabinets and was splattered here and there on the walls, floor, and ceiling, eggshells were all over the counter and floor, butter was smeared across the refrigerator door, and there was flour covering everything. Quirking an eyebrow, Rose cleared her throat to attract the attention of the scowling ouji tending the stove, who was muttering something under his breath about brain-damaged third class bakas.

"Nani?" he growled.

"Goku made breakfast this morning, didn't he?"

Vegeta's only reply was a snarl.

"Found some!" Goku chirped happily, waving a large jug above his head. Spotting Rose he grinned, "Ohayo Rose-chan! Sleep well?"

"Uh-huh," she replied depositing her passengers onto the floor, snickering as the Vegeta kitty delicately picked his way across the floor only stepping where it was clean. "You are cleaning this up, right Goku?" she asked, arching a delicate amethyst brow. Goku nodded vigorously as he warmed the jug with his ki before bringing it to the table.

He winked at her and kissed her cheek, "I always do, don't I?"

"Hai," she responded, pulling out a chair not splattered with breakfast debris.

"Kakarott, get your ass over here and finish!!"

"Ooops! Gomen Vegeta!"

"Che. Baka."

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A short while later, with belly full of misshapen, but tasty, pancakes Rose headed for the shower, her kitties doing figure-eights between her legs as she walked. Vegeta had gone outside to train and Goku had started to work on returning their kitchen to its normal state of cleanliness. When she reached the bathroom the kitties stopped at the door where they would wait until she emerged. They just couldn't handle the sight of their mistress trapped under all that water.

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"Haven't you finished yet, Kakarott?" Vegeta growled from his position in the doorway.

"Yep," Goku replied, drying his hands.

"Good. Let's go harass the onna."

"Okay!"

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Rinsing the last of the soap from her hair, Rose sighed happily. 'Nothing like a warm shower to relax you,' she thought, closing her eyes, letting the warm water cascade down her body.

"Want your back scrubbed?"

Rose's eyes snapped ahead, her slightly unfocused gaze zeroing in on the saiya-jin duo watching her. Both males were grinning from ear to ear, their tails wagging happily at the sight presented to them. "ECCHI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!^*" she shrieked, snatching a towel and tossing a barrage of small objects at the two, forcing them into a retreat. "WHEN I GET MY HANDS ON YOU TWO, I'M GOING TO . . . ( the following threats have been removed from this fic, due to extreme violence, blood, gore, torture, and other threats that may cause some of our male readers to lose consciousness.)

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"Owww. Did'ja have ta hit so hard, Rose-chan?" Goku whined, nursing the large lump on his head, courtesy Rose's mallet.

Rose snorted and crossed her arms, but continued her flight, "Serves you right. Coming into my shower like that."

Flying silently behind them, Vegeta smirked. Even though his head sported the same size lump Kakarott's did, it had been worth it. Not only had they gotten to annoy the onna, but they'd gotten a great view too, and all before lunch.

No sooner had the trio landed at the Asylum, Rose whirled on her two companions. "You two say one word, ONE WORD about this morning and I swear I'll send you to Pojo for a week!" she hissed.

Both saiya-jin eeeped and nodded meekly, best not to provoke her right now . . .

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Things inside the Asylum were wild to say the least. With fanauthors, fanartists, tourists and most of the DB/Z/GT cast running about the building it certainately wasn't quiet. Rose leaned back in her office chair and poked at her ball-clicker, zoning out. She had files to transfer, submissions to catalogue, art to arrange, missing writers to locate, as well as her own art and stories to deal with. Then there was the fourth floor. Oi. This was where residents from other series roamed and was Rose's current headache. Netting the assorted characters and keeping them there was proving to be a pain.

"Oi, Rose-chan! Jinnai and those Bugrom* guys are tryin' to escape again!"

Sighing, Rose grabbed her net and went tearing out of her office and past a bewildered Goku, "Don't just stand there! We gotta catch them before they get out of range!" she yelled back at the spiky haired saiya-jin who was *still* standing by her office door.

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"GET BACK HERE RIGHT NOW, JINNAI!!!!!"

Blinking in surprise, Nashi** walked over and opened one of the third floor windows to see what all the screaming was about. She took one look at the chaos outside and collapsed in a fit of giggles. Rose was chasing Jinnai around the Asylum courtyard swinging her net every now and then, missing the wayward teenager by mere inches. And where were Goku and Vegeta? The two saiya-jin warriors had there hands full attempting to wrangle the myriad number of Bugrom Jinnai had let loose when he'd escaped. The worst part was for every two they caught, at least one would slip back out!

"Onna! Why couldn't you just get a damn roach motel!!" Vegeta roared, oblivious to the Bugroms' group cringe. They knew what a roach motel was. "Bugs check in but they don't check out" indeed. Not a pleasant thought for a bug creature.

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"Think she fell asleep up there?" Goku asked his companion as they exited the fourth floor.

"Che, wouldn't be the first time," Vegeta growled, locking the door behind them.

"Or the last," the large saiya-jin replied wryly, pushing the "Under Construction" blockades back into place, "We better go get her."

Sure enough, when they'd reached the terror that was Rose's office, the two saiya-jin found her fast asleep at the keyboard. Face-down, snoring lightly, one hand still on the mouse, and her tail coiled tightly around the swivel chair she was sitting in, the demi-saiya-jin looked quite uncomfortable. Chuckling softly, Goku lifted her head off the desk, while Vegeta unwound her tail from the chair.

~So who gets to carry her?~ the tall saiya-jin "sent" to the smaller one.

Vegeta made no reply other than to thrust his fist out and hold it there. Goku grinned and brought his own out to meet the ouji's. They'd solve this the same way they did every other dispute: Janken*^, best two out of three.

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Slipping silently into the darkened room with their precious cargo, the two saiya-jin warriors smiled down at their slumbering mistress. When the dark ouji had taken her into his arms, Rose had curled against his chest, snuggling as close as possible, her tail coiled his waist and her hands had fisted in his shirtfront. With a near-inaudible sigh, Vegeta disengaged her arms and tail and placed her in the bed. Both saiya-jin shared a quick glance before removing her glasses and shoes, she looked so harmless when she was sleeping. Crawling in on either side of her, their arms and tails wrapping around her protectively, the last of the saiya-jin quickly drifted off to sleep. But not for long.

"MREOW!!"

"GAHH!!!" both saiya-jin screamed in shock as they were jolted awake by two very angry kitties.

"Baka hairballs, get lost!" Vegeta snarled, glaring at the blue furred neko*** sitting on his chest.

Rose cracked an eye open and chuckled softly, "Leave them be `Geta. If we kick them out, they'll yowl at the door all night."

"Che. You spoil them, onna," Vegeta grumbled laying back down.

"Just like us, right `Geta?" Goku chirped, snuggling closer, the orange furred neko laying on top of him.

"Hnn."

April 02, 2003

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^*~pervert

*~Little El Hazard reference there. ^_^

**~my blue haired, blue eyed demi-saiya-jin younger sister. She's also one of the resident artists.

*^~japanese version of rock, paper, scissors. Not to be confused with Jakken, Sesshoumaru's servant and Rin's babysitter.

***~cat

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Disclaimer: Here we go. I do not own any of the characters from Dragonball, Dragonball Z, or Dragonball GT. They are all the property of Akira Toriyama, Bird Studio, Toei Animation, and Funimation Inc. However, all the other characters in my stories are mine. I'm not making any money off of this, its just for fun. And to top it off I'm a college student who works part-time at Wal-Mart so you know I don't have any money. So if you sue me you won't get anything.

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