Dragon Ball/Z/GT Fan Fiction ❯ Being of Sound Mind and Body ❯ The Worst Thing ( Chapter 6 )

Disclaimer: I do not own Dragonball Z.

Author's Notes: This chapter is just kinda transition from one phase in Nappa's life to another. Hope you enjoy. Please leave a review. Then I'll know I'm loved.

Chapter 6: The Worst Thing

You know what was the worst thing about my-shall we say-new situation? It was the uniform. It was horrible. I'm not fashion conscious in the least, but even I was disgusted by what I was required to wear. It had huge ugly shoulder things. And it was the wrong color. Saiyan uniforms are green. These WEREN'T. Plus, I couldn't wear a cape. Only Zarbon wore a cape, and I think it was because he was gay. But it was a sign of the elite in the Saiyan Empire. Capes were a sign of elite, not being gay. I liked wearing a cape. Yes, the uniform had to be the worst thing about serving Frieza. Definitely.

And you're actually buying this. Don't you know sarcasm when you hear it? Are you crazy? What, you think I was worried about clothing when I was being beaten to a bloody pulp? You think I cared that I wasn't wearing green when I was locked in a completely dark cell with no food and water for days? That of all the things I lost in my enlistment and Planet Vegeta's explosion, the only thing I missed was my cape? What's wrong with you?!

Alright. I'm fine now. Just a little nervous energy. I've been cooped up in this space pod for too long. Now, where was I?

So, as I was saying, the torture was definitely the worst part of my service to Frieza. I was beaten to within an inch of my life, healed, and then beaten again. I know that each time I nearly reached death I got stronger (one of the many perks to being a Saiyan), but I honestly didn't notice it. My healthy times were far too brief. And the people who beat me were so far above me that I didn't notice the increase in strength while trying to defend myself. Imagine my surprise when I finally got a look at my power reading. My strength had nearly tripled. But it was nothing compared to the prince.

Prince Vegeta was having more trouble adjusting. He'd never once had a blow to his pride. He'd lived a relatively sheltered life. Always fighting under the protective supervision of either the king or myself. Always given free reign of the palace. After all, it was HIS palace. He could say whatever he wanted, do whatever he wanted, and blast or ignore anyone who opposed him-the king and myself excluded. He always understood it was in his best interest to obey us. He knew when to play along. I guess that's what made him survive all these years.

Prince Vegeta didn't truly understand Frieza's power, or the extent of Frieza's dominion. He was used to viewing the Saiyan Empire as the most powerful force in the universe. No one told him that, but since he was the prince of it, it had to have been the most powerful. It came as a true shock to him that so many people were stronger than him, and more of a shock that a simple meteor shower could reduce the great Saiyan Empire to two. Oh, he tried to make his life the same. He threw tantrums… showed no respect for rank or strength… openly defied Frieza… It's funny. I knew I would get the beating of my life for his tantrums and defiance, but I felt like cheering him on. Or I thought about maybe just killing him and giving him a gentler death than he would receive at the hands of Frieza. You know, his occasional bouts of defiance still occur. Well, besides what we're doing now, of course. I swear, he'll be the death of me.

Of course, Frieza immediately set about breaking Vegeta's spirit. I'm not sure which was worse-the beatings or the insults. Frieza taunted us, but especially Vegeta, about everything. His weakness. His monkey-like qualities. (Which was rich coming from the overgrown purple lizard.) His age. His lost kingdom. His meaningless title. His uncaring, dead father. And all Vegeta could do was take it. Sometimes, when it got really quiet at what I supposed was night, I could hear him faintly through the wall that separated our cells. He was sobbing his guts out. Poor kid probably thought no one could hear him. Probably held in all the tears until he was alone so he couldn't give Frieza the satisfaction of hearing him cry. I wish I could have sheltered him. Still do.

I don't know how long we were on the ship, going through what I now believe is the usual warrior orientation program. It could have been years for all I knew. Eventually, however, the ship landed at a base. Frieza's capital. The planet was called Frieza 39. Same goes for the main city on the planet. I would say something snide about this, but hey… Planet Vegeta. We have no room to talk about that. Anyway. We were healed and given clean uniforms. Not even Frieza would bring us out there in a vulnerable state. I'm telling you, it was a nightmare. I came to understand the warriors there after a time, since I probably became much more like them, but at that moment, I thought I was in Hell. All suffering and pain. The only happiness seemed to be at the expense of newbies and weaker warriors. And slaves. On Planet Vegeta, every warrior, which means every person, respected every other warrior. It was a matter of honor not to point out other's weaknesses, unless, of course, the warrior forfeited their honor-usually through treason or cowardice. But in the center of the Kold Empire, the maxim "Only the strongest survive" was taken to its extreme. Constant vigilance and competition was a way of life.

One good thing happened, though. The constant beatings stopped-or at least became less frequent. I was surprised to be named an elite, and given private quarters next to Prince Vegeta. The room was nothing to call home. It was tiny and sparse. But it was private. Starting out, the room was covered with listening devices and cameras, but once you found and destroyed all of them, they were never replaced. Since everyone did that, Frieza couldn't expend the resources to constantly rebug all the warrior's rooms. Of course, that didn't stop him from occasionally surprising a warrior, especially if the warrior was already suspect. A smart warrior checked his room every day and before any private conversation. Even an innocent conversation became treason.

The first night was the worst. Prince Vegeta and I, once released from our official orientation, set about acclimating ourselves to our surroundings. Frieza's palace was actually more of a huge military base. Thankfully, Prince Vegeta had a better sense of direction than I had, or else I would have been lost. The corridors and rooms all looked the same. Of course, the entire complex was integrated into a computer system that all warriors had clearance to, but we didn't know that on our first night there. Our "orientation" had not covered that. It had mostly just covered the rules, and how dead you would be if you disobeyed. I guess that's all you really you needed to know immediately.

No, there was something else. A warning would have been nice. How were we supposed to know that gangs of warriors target newbies? Mostly just to show them their place. Sometimes officers sent out teams just to test the warriors under adverse conditions, to see if they could hold up on planet purges. Commanding officers are constantly in competition with each other, and need competent subordinates just to keep their position. But still, I really would have appreciated a warning.

I'm not sure if this was a random attack or an official attack, but in one of the corridors outside of a training room, the two of us were ambushed. It took us completely by surprise. It shouldn't have, but we had not acquired the state of constant vigilance yet. At the Saiyan palace, no one would have attacked the prince and the general. Not if they wanted to continue to draw breath.

It was six against two, but the match was actually kind of equal. This made the other soldiers nervous. Fighting was not allowed in the corridors. After some pretty impressive coordination, they six managed to maneuver the fight into the training room. And guess who was in that training room? None other than a fellow Saiyan-the son of Bardock, Raditz. I was so happy to see the boy I almost forgot about the fight. Not for long, though. In my distraction, five of the warriors ganged up on the prince. Prince Vegeta has always been an amazing fighter, and that fight was no exception, but even he was getting overwhelmed. Raditz noticed immediately, and quickly joined in the fray, making it three against six. By the time we were finished, one of the soldiers was dead, and the others barely had enough strength to crawl their way to rejuvenation tanks.

I'll admit, I might not have fared as well as I did without Raditz. He had been missing for a year, and Bardock had actually believed that either Raditz had run away, since he was almost a man at eleven, or had been killed. In truth, he had been ambushed on a planet purge and enlisted into Frieza's army. And he'd survived, without any help. You can say whatever you want about Raditz's intelligence, but you've got to admire him for just surviving. Not many can do that.

Raditz then walked with us back to our quarters. At least, I thought that was what he was doing. Seems that all the Saiyans had been placed next to each other. All meaning three. It was an eerie feeling, being the only ones left. And taking advice from an eleven-year-old boy. But I have to admit, we needed it. He told us about the computer system, the training, everything. Then he helped us rid our rooms of the surveillance equipment. For once Prince Vegeta did not scoff at this "third-class warrior" telling him what to do. The boy was more scared than he was letting on. The boy was pride itself. Nevertheless, he was still a child of five, and he was soon asleep on his bed. Raditz and I left the prince's room quietly to debug my room.

After the debugging, my hardest task lay before me. I had to tell Raditz about Planet Vegeta. The boy seemed to take it calmly, but I could tell he was crushed. He had been close to his father, and had hoped to someday escape Frieza and return. In a few words, I crushed his hope, almost his will to survive. I could see it in his eyes. Suicide is not very difficult when you're a soldier of Frieza, and Raditz was seriously contemplating it. It breaks my heart to think of one so young thinking so little of life. Indeed, having so little to live for. I tried to reassure him, but everything I tried seemed to fail. Vengeance. Super Saiyan. The Prince. A possible life after Frieza. Everything. Thank whatever deity is out there I remembered about Kakarrot.

Not long before I left Planet Vegeta, Bardock had had another son-the spitting image of him. I remember the boy had the lungs of an elite, despite his low birth power level. I also remembered the boy had been scheduled for relocation, and he would have left long before Planet Vegeta's demise. When I told Raditz of this… well, words cannot do justice to how much it worked. His mood was completely changed. He was not alone. How I envied him.

We spent the rest of the night sharing information and planning strategy. It painfully reminded me of the useless strategy sessions I used to have with Bardock. Raditz was definitely not as bright as his father, but he had the right strategy. Follow orders, and survive at all costs. This was our battle plan, and this was how we agreed to teach Prince Vegeta. Despite all that had happened, the prince was the only hope against Frieza. We truly believed that. Even Raditz, jaded as he was from the nightmarish life of one of Frieza's soldiers.

Raditz left me soon afterwards, since he was almost reeling from lack of sleep. I guess I should have gotten sleep that night as well, but I just couldn't. There was no way. That night had to be the longest night of my life. I laid awake in bed, finally acquiring the paranoia needed in Frieza's soldiers. My life was not my own anymore, and I knew I wouldn't last long. I was too smart and not strong enough. And I was the only thing standing in between Frieza and total dominion over Prince Vegeta. I had to do something. Therefore, I made the hardest decision I've ever had to make.

I said that torture was the worst part of my service to Frieza. I realize now that's a lie. The worst part was what I had to give up. I gave up my pride when Frieza annexed the Saiyan Empire. I gave up my mate to the king for the sake of an heir to the throne. I gave up my son in order to teach that heir to the throne. I gave up my life in order to protect the prince. And I gave up my saiyan-ness when I shaved my head of my Saiyan locks. So what did I have left? I had strength, and I had intelligence.

It's a known fact that Frieza hates intelligent warriors. Dumb warriors follow orders and don't take initiative. Intelligent warriors think for themselves. Intelligent warriors know they're in humiliating servitude. Intelligent warriors rebel. Anyone showing too much intelligence can easily be executed for treason. And I knew traitors did not receive painless executions. I executed enough traitors in my day to know that. It was definitely not an enviable death. And I had to stay alive. So, I decided to be stupid.

I had always prided myself for my keen mind, but repressing, or at least hiding, my intelligence was the smartest thing I ever did. I did it for many reasons. I've already mentioned one reason. But there was another, almost more important, reason. I realized I was now responsible for two Saiyan boys-Prince Vegeta and Raditz. I was most responsible for Prince Vegeta. I had to make sure he grew into the strong warrior prince who would avenge us all. But how would he learn to be a prince and lead? Certainly not while I was in command. The boy was used to taking my orders, but that had to change. He had to grow up fast and think for himself, as well as take responsibility for the other two Saiyans under him-his subjects. I couldn't teach him that. He had to learn that for himself. I knew, after a while, he wouldn't even remember how I used to be. Raditz would know, but that was not a problem. Raditz also had to help raise the prince.

Other warriors helped me with my façade. It was already known that Saiyans were as stupid as they were strong. Not many messed with us, after our little display of strength on the first night, but I grew used to jokes at my expense. Actually, some of them were pretty funny. Too bad I had to pretend I didn't understand them. Of course, Prince Vegeta could continue to be smart without too much retribution. Intelligence was expected in royalty. So my little plan worked out beautifully.

Of course, I didn't truly understand what I was giving up that night. I realize now. It was worse than giving up my family and my Saiyan pride. I had to hide my entire personality. Not Nappa the general, not Nappa the father, and not Nappa the Saiyan. It was just Nappa now. I was giving up the thing that distinguished me from everyone else. I was giving up my intelligence. I was giving up my self. In order to survive, I had to die.

Reviewer thanks:

Bardocksgurl: Heh-heh. I knew you wouldn't hate Nappa for long. Hope you bought the explanation of Nappa's stupidity. That was the only obstacle I had to overcome to write this, since I tried to make it as canon as possible.