Dragon Ball/Z/GT Fan Fiction ❯ Being of Sound Mind and Body ❯ Last Rights ( Chapter 11 )

Disclaimer: I do not own Dragonball Z.

Author's Notes: Next to the last chapter. Yay! And I didn't even make you wait for it. Question: If I try and enter this in the Fanfic contest, what category should it go under?

Chapter 11: Last Rights

Often I wonder what it would have been like without Frieza. I can't even imagine. I might never have married Okakra or become general. Or maybe all those things would have happened later in life. Vegeta may or may not have ever been born. And I certainly would never have felt the ties to the prince that I feel now. All that aside, though, I might have been happy. Well, not "frolic through the fields" happy, but possibly "no torture in x number of years" happy. I would still have my legion, possibly being a general of the honor guard. I would certainly be weaker, but I wouldn't really have any need to be this strong. Everything would be different, but in a good way.

Ah, who am I kidding? Hopefully not you, or you'd be more gullible than I imagine. Whose life is truly happy anyway? Not anyone that I've ever met. Even those that have wealth, power, and strength - the things we tend to strive for - trade off for paranoia of losing those things. Sure, I would have a relative peace. Relative to my life, at least. But what about Okakra? And Baen? And Raditz? And Vegeta? And Xientlap? All those people who have helped me cling to my last shred of sanity while my life is a living chaotic Hell? I can't picture my life without them. Even though all of them have caused me grief at some point, they were what kept me alive. Even though they're all lost to me, I still have the memory of them to keep me going.

We are a day away from Earth. I see the star moving closer and closer. Of course, I know that stars are practically immobile, and that it is I who move toward it so fast, but warriors tend to think like that. As if we're the immovable centers of the universe and all that we see orbit around us. At least, that's how Saiyans think. No matter how hard they try to teach me of my own unimportance, I can't get over this… selfness. It's kept me alive. If I actually thought that the lives of others were worth more than my own, do you think I would agree to purge planets? I commit genocide on a weekly basis to preserve my own hide. And I think nothing of it. I'm a warrior. I'm more important than those nameless, faceless weaklings that disintegrate at a mere touch of my ki. So what if they died. Too bad for them. They should have been stronger in order to survive. I had to get stronger to survive. Why not them? Why should they be treated any different than I? My planet was destroyed. My family, such as it was, was killed. I got the fate worse than death. They just got death. They're lucky, when you come to think of it. A lot of them probably went to a good place, if there is an afterlife. Me, I'll end up in the other direction. I guess I'll find out tomorrow, though.

I've been putting this off. I haven't written in two months. I guess I had this crazy notion that if I keep putting off finishing my sarka, I'd stay traveling forever. It would put off my death indefinitely. How could I think that? I'm not a superstitious man. I certainly don't believe in some kind of divine intervention. My old age must be getting to me. Old age - that's a laugh. I'm not even middle-aged yet, and here I am talking about old age. Not old in years, but in experience.

Right. Experience. I must finish my sarka before we land. Even though the rest of my life encompasses about seven or eight years, not much went on. Though, let me tell you. Vegeta's command is the harshest I'd ever been under. Worse than the sergeant's, worse than Zarbon's, possibly worse than Frieza's. At least with them I had a chance. With Vegeta I can do nothing right. My purges always take too long. My work is always too sloppy. My fighting style always needs work. Raditz got more of the same. And all from that little brat! I used to take care of him. I used to train him. I took him over my knee once for skipping out on training on Planet Vegeta. I taught him everything I knew! Ever since possibly even before Planet Vegeta was destroyed, I'd acted as a father to him, more than the king ever could. And here he was. Giving ME orders. Insulting ME. Punishing ME.

Of course, I obeyed his ever command. How could I not? I'd been teaching him to take command before, and now he had. It was what I'd been hoping for. So what if it was Frieza who taught him the art of command - of royal command? I really couldn't teach him that. Frieza could. Frieza is a prince, after all. Frieza commands millions. He was actually the best teacher Vegeta could have hoped for. Could Vegeta have learned any better from his father? Probably not. When I left, Vegeta had been a gawky teenager still having to rely heavily on me for guidance. When I came back, and in the past seven or eight years, he has not only been a self-assured young man, he is a prince, a grueling taskmaster, and a brilliant military tactician. And he knows it. Boy, does he know it. His ego is absolutely monstrous. I've never heard such talk. Well, maybe from Frieza, but no one else. I don't know why he has no humility. I know he had to have been severely mistreated while I was away. Maybe it's another defense mechanism. I won't begrudge him that. I have my own, and sometimes mine are more annoying. I swear, the only thing that's worse than putting up with a stupid person is pretending to be stupid yourself. But I can't change now. I've got to play out my hand until the end of the game.

I did the most purges I've ever done under Vegeta's command. He went after missions with a vengeance. And hard ones too. In years past occasionally Raditz and I would get a really hard mission, having to purge a pretty powerful planet. On those occasions we would change to Oozaru. And yes, we could even do it without a moon. It was all thanks to Bardock and a technique he invented. See, Bardock not only didn't have a lot of faith in Raditz's intelligence, he also wasn't too sure about the boy's strength. So he developed a technique and only gave it to Raditz, to enhance his usefulness for missions. Raditz took it as an insult, but that didn't stop him from using it. For years he kept it a secret from me, because Bardock had told him to, but on one planet he had no choice. We were cornered, about to be killed, full moon days away, when Raditz formed a relatively harmless energy blast, threw it in the sky, and told me to look up. I thought he was crazy, but I was desperate, so I did so anyway. Next thing I knew, I was Oozaru. We made short work of that planet after that. I smacked Raditz around for not teaching me the technique any sooner, but I wasn't truly serious.

There's nothing like turning Oozaru. I can't imagine any Super Saiyan transformation being any better. In your first few transformations, you lose your mind and retain no memory of anything that happened. But after you get more used to it, you start being more in control. That's another reason we sent children to other planets. Those first few transformations for young Saiyans are just pains to go through. And it's even harder for the weaker Saiyans. They can take up to twenty transformations to truly be under control. But once you do gain control, and memory, it's wondrous. All the inhibitions you have when you're saiyanoid are gone. You can do anything and no one can stop you. Size, strength, senses - all are heightened. No one can challenge you because everyone's too weak. It's a sense of euphoria better than what you can get from any substance. And there are no niggling doubts in the back of your head about killing people. You know why? You're not a person. You're pure animal. You can't be held accountable for your actions. Who holds an ape accountable for its actions? No one. It's great. You're the perfect warrior in a paradise of violence.

I haven't gone Oozaru in years. I really really miss it, but Vegeta won't allow it. Raditz even showed him the fake moon technique, and Vegeta was slightly impressed, but he still forbade it. We never fought during a full moon on any planet, no mistakes. Even when the natives were stronger than we thought. And that happened quite a lot. Sometimes we'd get back to a base and Raditz and I would be half alive. But not Vegeta. He's so much tougher than I am now. He's a monster. Stronger than Raditz and I put together. What happened to him?

Even though we didn't have Oozaru, we had a lot more going for us. Seems that Frieza had appointed Vegeta to test out battle equipment in practical experiments. We got new scouters and armor practically every time we went back to Frieza's capital. We were forever instructed in new ki techniques to try out. The only thing we didn't test was weapons. It would have been truly degrading for an elite to use a weapon. It just isn't done. But we tried everything else. Faster and better space pods. Devices that would cause erratic weather patterns. That particular invention should only be used when warriors are NOT on the planet. Unless they're comfortable fighting in snow blizzards, as I now know from personal experience. There was also this bizarre tree that grew fruit that pretty much acts like steroids. We tried out various poisons but those usually only made the planet uninhabitable. Psychic devices were fun in their novelty, making natives see bizarre hallucinations that would throw them in a panic. Those are great if a planet finds out you're coming and get a good enough defense organized. Our latest experiment is Saibamen. Those are little green men that sprout from seeds after a few minutes of being planted. They come in handy if the population is a bit larger than you expect. After the job, they can revert back to seeds. I still can't figure out if they're intelligent and conscious or not. Raditz doesn't like them much. I think it's because each one of them is as strong as he is. Ticks him off that the strength he had to work for all his life can be matched by a plant. I don't blame him a bit. It'd tick me off too.

I know I've been complaining. Don't get me wrong. I was glad to be around Vegeta again. I still care about the kid, even if he's not a kid anymore. At first, I felt like things would go back to the way it was before now that Vegeta was away from Frieza. And it would be better. This time the Saiyans would be alone. Sure, I was friends with Xientlap, but aliens generally annoy me. I'm not a racist, really, but I'd much rather just stay among Saiyans. I thought things had finally taken a turn for the better. And together, we three Saiyans could plan the destruction of Frieza. Who knew, after all this time, I could be so naïve, though? What was I thinking? Thinks couldn't go back to normal. Nothing was the same because Vegeta wasn't the same. I could never even talk to him like I used to. He was so stern and aloof. And he made it clear that I was no longer his trainer. I was - am - his subordinate. He didn't have respect for me and pretty much the Saiyan race in general. Once he said something disrespectful about his own father. At that I'd had enough. I tried to call him on it, and that's when I experienced just how strong he'd really gotten. It was unbelievable. And frightening. I wasn't sure if he was going to let me live. I tried to fight back, but my attacks were nothing. My defenses were nothing. He kept pounding me long after I'd given up. I'm pretty sure he only let me live because he didn't have Frieza's authority to kill his subordinates yet. I'm not sure if anything would stop him now.

Raditz and I tried to make things a little better for ourselves. Little by little we convinced Vegeta to stay the night on planets after purges. I'm not sure if it was our persuasiveness or just Vegeta wanting a break from constant space travel, but after a year he capitulated. It wasn't the same of course. We didn't feel that we could talk like we used to. I still wasn't too sure about Vegeta's loyalty. It made me sick to think about it, but so many others had been turned. Why would Vegeta be less susceptible? He would be more susceptible, because he barely knows anything other than life as Frieza's servant. It's been all but five years of his entire life. He may not know any better. And I couldn't really talk to him to find out. While Raditz and I talked when we stayed nights on planets, Vegeta would be filling out reports like I remember Zarbon doing. When he'd finish the reports, he'd eat and go straight to sleep.

It wasn't until after about three years of Vegeta's command that Vegeta revealed things about himself to me. I was determined to find out, and started probing. At first Vegeta was resistant in the extreme. But I kept after him and kept after him, trying to find some crack in his armor. I'd almost given up, but one night it happened without me even trying. Raditz was asleep - the boy sleeps like a rock - and Vegeta had gone to sleep as well. Vegeta and I are both extremely light sleepers, so there never has been a need to set up a night watch system, but I was awake anyway. I told you, I rarely sleep. I was debating on whether or not to force myself to sleep when Vegeta started struggling in his sleep. I couldn't believe it. He was actually having a nightmare. I took my life in my own hands, acting mostly on impulse, and went over to wake him up. I shook his arm, and he woke up. Suddenly he was fourteen again. Maybe even younger. Fear and pain were clearly written on his face. It was hard to believe that this was the aloof and exacting taskmaster I'd served under for three years. He seemed so small and frightened. He naturally tan skin was incredibly pale, and he was shaking. I wasn't sure if he wasn't himself, or if he finally was himself. In a broken whisper, he told me things. Things that had happened to him. Things that had been done to him. I will not speak of these things. It is too shameful. I will only say that it more than explained the changes that Vegeta had undergone. The next morning, Vegeta was back to normal. At least, what passes for normal with him. It was like it had never even happened. Vegeta had already warned me not to tell anyone. I made it clear that his threat was not necessary. At that, for the first time since we'd been reunited, he looked abashed. He let me see the man he was hiding for one night, and no longer.

I've never liked Frieza. I know it's a new flash for you, but I just really don't like him. But in the years to come, I found the heights that hate can climb to. Most of my time was spent hating Frieza. It burned like a poison within me. I couldn't think of anything else. It was a cycle that repeated itself over and over. Vegeta, Raditz, and I would be sent on a mission with various toys to try out. We'd go to the planet and usually take about two days to completely purge a planet. We needed about five days to annex the planet for Frieza's Empire, because we had to be careful not to kill everyone, and to convince the planet leader that it was in his best interest to comply with Frieza's requests. We'd spend the night on the planet, a time during which Vegeta would berate me and Raditz for any mistakes we made, real or imagined. Then we would report back to Frieza, who would treat us with absolute contempt, the word "monkey" usually being traded around between Zarbon or Dodoria or any other commander that happened to be around. Then we'd go out on another mission, trade out toys in - the pattern goes on and on. And with every cycle my hate grew and grew. I sometimes hated myself. A lot of times Vegeta. But the underlying hatred was for Frieza. It consumed me. Heck, it almost killed me.

Let me explain. It happened probably a couple of years ago. I was almost in a good mood. Vegeta had been pretty mellow of the past few days, even though we were working on a pretty hard mission. It was the Planet Shik. It was one of those missions that we just had to annex. We got through in three days. Let me repeat that. Three days. That, my friend, is a record. Not even the Ginyu Force could do such a mission in three days. I was actually looking forward to reporting in to Frieza. Sort of an "in your face" "we Saiyans DO have some worth" type thing. Of course, I raved on like my usual idiot self, but I was actually in a good mood. We all were. I bet Vegeta was thinking that this would be the mission that would actually push his rank over to full commander, instead of commander-in-training. He probably wouldn't have liked it, but you think stupid things when you're in a good mood.

Before long we reported to Frieza. We bowed to him - how I hate doing that - and Vegeta reported that we'd done the mission in three short days. I then found out I'd been fooling myself if I thought that Frieza would have been impressed with us. You know what he said? He said, "I'm surprised it took so long." Surprised it took so long! He knew our usual mission times. We were already one of the best squadrons out there, if not the best. I actually exclaimed in surprise at that one. It was unbelievable. We had busted our butts out there, and he knew it, but all Frieza, with Zarbon and Dodoria at his side, could do was laugh at us. I'm sure my expression just filled them with sadistic glee. Then Frieza said, "Very well then. You may go away now."

What else can I say? I snapped. How could he treat us with such disregard? How could he treat Vegeta with such disregard? Before I knew it, I was on my feet. It was like I couldn't control my mouth any longer. I remember exactly what I said, because I've gone over that moment in my head every day for the past couple of years. I said, "Hey, wait! Is that all you're going to say to us?! We just crushed a whole race of people in three days, and all you can say is `go away'?!"

Frieza started up with some garbage, saying that Zarbon could have done a whole lot better. Well, of course he could have! But he wasn't the one to do it. We were. Then they started to laugh. I vaguely remember that Vegeta was still kneeling, but I'd surged in front of him, shaking with anger. Raditz had joined me. It was stupid. I know. But I figured I had doomed myself anyway, and I'd had as much as I could take. I remember Frieza trying to dismiss us again, saying that he had more important matters to attend to. That just put salt on the wound. I wasn't even thinking anymore. The thirty odd years of swallowing my pride and pain and just taking orders had finally caught up to me. It was down to kill or be killed. Of course, I was going to be killed, but that didn't matter to me anymore. I just wanted a quick end to it all. I'm not sure what I screamed, but I attacked. I actually ran up and was about to throw a punch. It wasn't calculated. It wasn't planned. It was sheer desperation. Nothing could stop me. Nothing could hinder me. I was unstoppable…

…until I heard Vegeta's voice calling my name. There was a ring of panic to his voice, and it made me stop dead in my tracks. And there you have it. My loyalty to Vegeta overruled my hatred of Frieza.

Vegeta made some sort of apology to Frieza, and we walked out. I walked out slowly, almost expecting and half wishing that a blast would come from Frieza or any of the commanders. I would have welcomed it. But it didn't come. I just heard Zarbon making his perfunctory "monkey" joke. Vegeta paused, a look of anger crossing his face, and for a split-second I panicked at the thought of Vegeta attacking, just as I had. He didn't, though. He's always been smarter than I. We walked out of there virtually unscathed. Probably the only reason Raditz and I didn't die was that we were still needed for Vegeta to command. That makes for Vegeta saving my life twice or more in less than five minutes.

I calmed down a lot after that. I reviewed my situation as the three of us walked out of the palace. I realized that I'd been hiding too much from Vegeta, and that if my days were so numbered like I'd felt in there, there was still something I needed to tell the prince. I still wasn't completely sure about his loyalty, especially after that performance in Frieza's throne room. I needed to tell him who destroyed Planet Vegeta and killed his father. After all those years, I hadn't told him. I wasn't even sure if he had figured out for himself, so I had to be sure. While we were walking, I tried to talk to Vegeta. I said something about hearing rumors that the story of Planet Vegeta's destruction was fabricated, still hiding the fact that I'd known all along. I know Raditz was a bit surprised, but of course not at the news. He'd known for a long time, because I'd told him that first night. He was surprised that I was telling Vegeta. So I pretended to explain to them both. That Planet Vegeta - all the Saiyans - Vegeta's father - had been killed by Frieza. I was practically begging Vegeta to listen, calling after him while he was still walking. He stopped, and turned around. In a voice filled with hatred, he said, "I already knew that."

I didn't know what to think then. Didn't he feel the same way I did? Knowing day after day that you were serving your planet's murderer. Vegeta had loved his father! He'd worshipped the man. He'd cried for days after Planet Vegeta's destruction. And he knew the truth behind it, and was able to keep such perfect control? It was impossible! I couldn't keep it up any longer, no matter how I tried. And Vegeta had had it worse than I. I conveyed just this, and Vegeta said something that I will never forget for the rest of what's left of my short life, and even in the eternity of the afterlife, if it comes to that. "So, he killed my father - destroyed my people. That means nothing to me now. Strength is the only thing that matters in this world. Everything else is just a delusion for the weak. There's only one certainty in life. A strong man stands above and conquers all. I know how strong Frieza is. There's no way I can beat him now. But wait and see! As the last of the Saiyans we have flowing through our veins the blood of a warrior race. The more we fight the more powerful we become. With each fight, I'll get stronger and stronger. And one day I'll be strong enough to beat Frieza, and then I will rule the universe. Exactly the way I was meant to."

I could only stare in shock. Somehow, Vegeta had just revealed more about himself than that night when he'd told me what Frieza had done to him. He'd just revealed the man that he had become. I had NOT taught him to think like that. Rule the universe? Talking about strength like it was his own personal god? When he started talking about Saiyans, I thought that a sliver of Saiyan pride and solidarity still lingered inside of him, but it was all lost. Vegeta didn't care anything about avenging his father and his people. He wanted to avenge himself. He wanted to take Frieza's place. He had taken the plan I had made at the beginning of our service to Frieza and corrupted it beyond recognition. I then knew he was lost to me. All those years I had spent teaching him had gone to waste. Sure, he would destroy Frieza, but what then? He would just become another Frieza. If Raditz and I didn't die before Vegeta killed Frieza, we would most assuredly die after. We, as Saiyans, meant nothing to Vegeta. He would dispose of us as soon as we got in his way - as soon as it was in his best interests.

I've still been following Vegeta. I'm still loyal to him. I still care about him. But I've always seen him as a son, and I can no longer do so. I just stopped trying. Our relationship became almost a business relationship. We spent a month almost never talking after that day. It was driving Raditz nuts. He could tell that the countdown had begun. Vegeta was getting stronger, and it was only a matter of time that all would break loose. And there was something Raditz wanted to do before he died. Find his brother. He actually talked to me about it one night on a planet. I was in a terrible mood, so I continued with my disparaging comments on the odds of Kakarrot's survival after all these years. We began to argue, and it was about to come to blows, when who else but Vegeta broke it up. Then he said something that floored us, but not in the way that he had a month before. Kakarrot was alive.

Well, as soon as Raditz could pick his jaw off the floor, he asked Vegeta how he knew. I, of course, had already figured it out. How could I not have thought of this before? Especially when I was hunting for Saiyans. Vegeta would know. Do you remember me telling about Vegeta's psychic connection with every single Saiyan? Now, I didn't expect his telepathic capacity to be practiced enough to sense a Saiyan he had never met on a planet that he had never even heard of, but apparently Vegeta could do that. Maybe it was the limited number of Saiyans that enabled him to pick up Kakarrot. Either way, Raditz was ecstatic. I allowed him his moment of "I told you so". Truth was, I was glad that Kakarrot was alive. It was a bit strange that Kakarrot had not left the planet he'd been sent to, but there were infinite possibilities for explanation. I was certainly happy for Raditz. He had a family. That night he pored over star charts, just to see where this planet Earth was. I thought it was a pretty harmless distraction. The next morning when Vegeta and I woke up, Raditz was gone.

That night was the last time I ever saw Raditz. I couldn't believe it. He actually had the guts to escape. I was certainly impressed. I never thought that Raditz had it in him. Vegeta was pissed, though. I swear, I never used some of those words around him. And some of them were Saiyan curses. Could have been Raditz. But I saw that air of panic about Vegeta - the same one he had when I almost attacked Frieza. This time, I understood. Vegeta had been biding his time, trying to train up to destroy Frieza. He couldn't do that if Frieza found fault in his work and took away his command. As a commander-in-training, he could get stronger without the constant surveillance. He needed that. But, as my experience goes to show, Frieza does not suffer mistakes in the people he puts in leadership positions. Those people have to be perfect, and keep perfect control over their subordinates. If I had not heeded Vegeta's orders that day in the throne room, Vegeta might be dead right now. He's alive because he demonstrated that he had sufficient control over me. This time, though, Raditz was gone. Without orders. Nowhere to be seen. He'd gotten such a good head start that following after him would have been a delay that would be impossible to hide. I could practically hear Vegeta's mind racing. I offered no advice. Vegeta wouldn't have taken it anyway. Finally, he decided to just keep going as if Raditz was there. Maybe he thought he'd get strong enough before we had to report to Frieza. Or maybe he'd already decided to rebel then and there. He was just buying a little time. So we fudged every report to include Raditz, and kept an ear out for Raditz arriving on Earth.

It was a nerve-wracking time. Thankfully we were in the frontier lands at the time. We didn't have to report to Frieza in person all year. We kept on with the purges, becoming stronger every time. Again, we never really talked. I think, though, that some of the hate melted between us, since we were working together again. I mean, really working together. Vegeta started to mention the idea of Super Saiyan every now and then. I was certainly surprised. I didn't even think he remembered that old legend, or if so, he couldn't possibly take it seriously. But he did remember, and he did take it seriously. Once, during his training, by accident, Vegeta told Frieza about the Super Saiyan transformation. Vegeta said that Frieza laughed when he told him, but that Vegeta could tell that Frieza was a bit worried about the whole prospect. I didn't care. Whatever kept Vegeta going was all right with me. I was just the sidekick.

One night we were monitoring the scouter frequencies when Raditz activated his scouter. It was on the secret frequency we'd picked out for ourselves. At first I was extremely hopeful, but everything went down from there. Here Raditz was thinking that he could treat Kakarrot like any Saiyan child or a helpless civilian from a doomed planet. I know I taught that boy better. He tried to use the Saiyan instinct of child protection, but he didn't account for his own brother's recklessness. That's what ended up killing him. It was a rather stupid battle, from what I could hear. And I knew that Raditz was going to lose. I just knew it, deep down, right from the beginning of that stupid battle. That battle that cut the surviving Saiyan population in half, all for nothing. But maybe Raditz knew what he was getting in to. You know, maybe he wrote a sarka on the way to Earth, just as I'm doing. If I had time, I'd go look for it.

When Raditz died, Vegeta knew it was over. No more fudging reports. Raditz had forced his hand at rebellion, and Vegeta had to depart from his plan. Thankfully, Earth has the very thing we need. These things called dragon's balls or something like that. Doesn't that sound pornographic? Indecent or not, the balls would grant any wish. I was hoping to wish back Raditz, and maybe even Kakarrot, so that I could handle the situation a little better than Raditz had, but Vegeta would have none of it. He wanted the one thing he thought that would give him the edge over Frieza. That's right. Immortality. This was a stupid idea, of course. Just because you live forever doesn't ensure the quality of life. I couldn't really think about it before we got on the space pods, but now I've had time. What if you kept aging forever? What if you were stranded in the depths of frontier space forever? What if you received a fatal wound and could not be healed? The possibilities for disasters are endless. Death is the natural end to all things - a release from the pain and drudgery of life. It's funny. All this year of traveling to Earth, where Vegeta expects eternal life and I expect death.

This seems a fitting end to my account, unless you want to hear about me writing about my account. That could turn into an endless cycle of infinity. So I'll just end it, and maybe get some sleep before the fight tomorrow. No sense in showing up in Hell tired. That would be a tragedy.

I said at the beginning of this document that a sarka is a combination autobiography and last will. I've certainly given an autobiography, but not really a will. There's a reason for that. I don't own anything. I leave this dimension completely drained of everything. But I will attempt to give what I have, even if I've already given it, and it's just words on a document that will most likely never be read. As I've said, the sarka is mostly for me. Not for anyone else.

To the memories of my fellow Saiyans who lost their lives about thirty years ago, I give my apologies. I swore to avenge them, and I never have. I can't even promise that Prince Vegeta will. I may see them tomorrow, so I can convey my message in person. But just in case I don't, and can't, I am profoundly sorry.

To the memory of Raditz and Kakarrot, who died a year ago, I also give my regrets. I promised that I would care for the sons of Bardock, and I feel that I've failed to keep my pledge. I'm sorry that their lives had to turn out that way.

To Xientlap I give my utter thanks. He was, or is, the only one who ever truly knew who I was, the person I've conveyed through this sarka, the person I hid under a façade of violence and stupidity. If he's not still alive, I hope to catch at least a glimpse of him in the afterlife, though I'm sure we're not going to the same place. Xientlap doesn't deserve Hell, no matter what he did in Frieza's Army.

To Frieza I give all my hate and all the blame. He is the reason behind all this madness. He is the only one who truly deserves blame. Some day Vegeta will beat him, and I hope to see the lizard in Hell.

And finally to Prince Vegeta. I've given him everything I have over the years - teaching, guidance, hope, love. The only thing left I can give him - the only thing I have left - is my hope.

And to you, unknown reader, I give the lessons I learned in life. I'm not saying that my life is an example, but the next time you see a murderer, look a little closer at him. There just might be a method to his madness.

And so I bid you farewell from the last remnant of the glorious Saiyan Empire.

Unless, of course, I don't die. Then this whole thing will seem pretty silly.