Dragon Ball/Z/GT Fan Fiction ❯ Burning Heart ❯ Regrets and mistakes ( Chapter 1 )

Disclaimer: I don’t own anything in this story- except for a Budokai 3 game, but it’d be hard to sue me for that, so don’t even try it!!


Author notes: This story has had a lot of inspirations… and it has been on my mind for well over a year. But one of the main inspirations that this story grew out of is a song and the movie it came out of… And they are “Burning Heart” from the opening credits of the Rocky IV soundtrack, as well as the movie itself. As many times as I have seen that movie, it never ceases to amaze me how well a few of the parts particularly in that movie but to a degree, the whole Rocky series reminds me of DBZ, particularly since as such a hopeless idiot, Goku shouldn’t be able to over come the rivals that he runs into… yeah, *cough*Veggie* cough* I know, he’s still my obsession, I know… And yet Goku manages to handle about everything the baddies can dish out, more often than not, with rather surprising grace and style.

Also note that I am going to be forced into taking a few liberties with the final days of the Dragonball GT timeline here, just so that we can see the Vegeta’s good ending from Budokai 3 make a brief appearance, but I will try very hard to keep everything else strict timeline, right out of the Anime... wherever possible. At least until we get to the start of the story itself, where we will still have DBZ, but with a few twists, including one that I have messed with before… *evil grin*…



~…In the warrior’s code,
There’s no surrender.
Though his body says stop,
His spirit cries, “Never!”

Deep in our soul, the quiet ember,
Knows it’s you against you,
It’s the paradox that drives us on.
It’s a battle of wills in the heat of attack,
It’s the passion that kills, that victory is yours alone…~





Burning Heart

Prologue


Goku blocked the fierce uppercut that Vegeta threw at him, but missed the smaller Saiyan’s spinning elbow that followed it in. Goku bounced back to his feet with a laugh, there was still something dark and untamed about Vegeta, even after all these years that made him the best and most interesting of all of Goku’s friends and training partners. No matter how often the two of them mixed it up like this, it never got old because Vegeta was always capable of surprising him, and because the smaller Saiyan was still training, still determined to surpass him, it was clear that Vegeta liked this just as much as Goku did.

Though right now, they were both in their fourth Super Saiyan forms, they weren’t using their ki attacks, the fragile blue planet that they had both risked and even given their very lives to defend, couldn’t take much more of that abuse, and both of the Saiyans knew it. Although they weren’t pulling any of their physical attacks, they weren’t fighting as enemies this time. No, Goku thought, as Vegeta blocked a knee thrust and returned a devastating energy punch, that sent him into the dirt yet again, if anything the Saiyan Prince was looking more and more like the winner this time around…

Those were the contents of his thoughts when Vegeta caught him with a terrible strike, a punch delivered to Goku’s ribs directly over the Saiyan’s heart. Goku growled, forced to choke down searing agony from the painful blow. As Goku struggled for an instant just to breathe, his thoughts flashed back to the heart virus that had stricken him so suddenly yeas ago. And, while he was distracted, that gave Vegeta just enough time to smirk wickedly as he nailed him with a Gallic Gun!

When he awakened, Goku was surprised and yet relieved to find his rival looking out at the tropical sunset, passively standing with his back up against one of the palm trees, about 20 feet away, while a small camp fire burned just to the right of where he was lying and there was fish cooking over the fire. “I knew you were strong. I guess you did it. You won, you’re the best Vegeta.”

Vegeta snorted, but didn’t turn around. “You and I both know that I cheated again, Kakarrot. But I’m not just talking about when I blasted you. The heart punch is a wicked little trick that I picked up in the pit fights of a planet called Kwanzaa when I was a teenager. It was considered an illegal blow in the large arenas there, but in the pits the only way to protect the crowd of bettors was to make it illegal to use your Ki in these fights and yet fatalities were used to declare the winner... I used it to stun you for the big finale but at least I didn’t follow it up with anything bigger than a Gallic Gun...”

Goku nodded and laughed. “You’ve never made it a secret that you will always use any means available to beat me, I wasn’t ready this time and you did it, you won. You aren’t evil any more, but you are still as bold and- potentially deadly as ever. It’s why you’re always so much more fun to fight with than anyone else. The way that you fight is why you rather than Gohan or Uub need to be in charge now.”

“I know that you feel responsible for the misuse of the Dragonballs, but I’m just as guilty- and actually I am more at fault than you are... Exile should be my sentence not yours.”

Goku frowned and went to his side, but Vegeta didn’t turn to look at him. “But you aren’t evil anymore, Vegeta…”

Vegeta’s eyes were cold and hard, boring holes right through Goku with their deadly serious intent. “Can a single good deed cancel out a lifetime of evil, Kakarrot? Does it really? How can we be so sure?”

“Which one of your good deeds are we trying to examine here?” Goku quipped, noting that there were actually quite a few to choose from, especially for a guy that had been raised to be evil by an intergalactic tyrant.

“What do you mean which one, are you trying to tell me there is more than one? You really are brainless clown; you know that, don’t you?”

“I’ve always wanted to do this, remind you of the good you have done, being here.” Goku said excitedly. “You healed me on Namek after that crazy business with Captain Ginyue, you pushed Gohan out of the way of a blow that would’ve killed him and then you stood up to Frieza long enough for me to get there… then when you got back to the earth, when Frieza and his father showed up, Gohan told me how you were willing to take charge and lead them to fight against him- even after Frieza killed you on Namek. I know that if Trunks hadn’t come when he did, that you would have beaten Frieza that time. Plus, you didn’t let that tubby Android kill me, and I might have died of the heart virus anyway, if you hadn’t reminded the others of it when you did… I know when we get to Cell you would probably rather forget most of it, but I saw your reaction to Trunks’ death and I knew you were going to make a good father, Vegeta, and you have. Plus there is still all of that crazy Buu business, where if it hadn’t been for your sacrifice…”

“You are conveniently forgetting that if I hadn’t been looking for the Dragonballs to become immortal in the first place none of the rest of that crap would’ve happened at all, Kakarrot! How can you stand here and tell me that you liked being dead because I let Cell absorb 18 when I should have killed at least one of them? How can you look past it when I was ready to let that freak Babidi control me just so…”

“So you made a few mistakes. So what, everything worked out ok.” Goku said slapping him on the back. “And every time you have done something reckless you have always tried to fix it. Nobody is perfect, Vegeta, not even you, your royal highness.”

Vegeta snorted bitterly and rolled his eyes. “Except for you, even with that tiny pea brain you’ve got.”

“What do you mean? I’ve done stuff that I regret now.”

“Yeah, right,” the Saiyan Prince snorted again. “Name one thing.”

“I never should have let go of Radditz’s tail… dying hurts, as we both know, having died twice already, I know the first time was a mistake, since it could’ve been prevented. On Namek, I could’ve tried harder to kill Frieza, you did warn me how bad he was and I still didn’t vaporize him and then I lead him right to Earth, things could’ve gotten very bad very quickly if Trunks hadn’t been there... Cell never would’ve been born if I hadn’t let Dr Gero get away… But you can’t just go back in time and fix it, Trunks’ visit to our dimension proved it. We have to both learn from our mistakes and move on or we are just going to keep repeating them. We really make a great team, Vegeta, but you really have no idea how much I’m going to miss you, do you?”

Vegeta laughed. “Yeah right, and I suppose you think its April first and I forgot all about it, huh?”

“No, I mean it. You and I are the only Saiyans still alive... and I wonder sometimes what I would be like if there were others out there… You told me once that my father tried to save our home planet from Frieza when you were still a kid, I know I’ll never meet him and I know my brother was terrible, but I still can’t help but wonder what our people might have been like if Frieza hadn’t destroyed them, don’t you?”

Vegeta shrugged. “I’d like to think that our people would be great warriors, who would train for their spiritual enlightenment and for fun, but as a child I met very few who still remembered the old ways, and all of them were older than Napa. The Saiyan warriors who served Frieza’s Empire and his planet trade were mostly brainless thugs, Kakarrot, like Napa. Most of them were quickly corrupted by the wealth and glory to see that Frieza would betray them eventually… I knew the day that my father turned me over to Frieza, when I was five, that I would never see him or our home planet again. A few months later, I was on a mission when a tech sent my scouter a message that Vegetasai had been destroyed. He told me that it wasn’t known if there were any survivors but me, so there have actually been 3 times in my life where I have thought myself to be the last of our race. I’ve had plenty of time to get used to it, but I never honestly thought when I was a child that I’d live this long...”

Goku laughed. “Well, I know from experience that it takes a lot to kill you, Vegeta, but we still aren’t indestructible.”

“Speak for yourself, Kakarrot, I’m continuing with my training.”

“I knew that you would, that’s why the Earth needs you here, more than ever now. When we fought tonight I noticed something a little different about your fighting, you seemed… not stronger- you’ve always been more evenly matched with me than you believed in your heart that you were, no this was more confident or something… But the point is, even though Omega Shenron is gone, I’m leaving in the morning, and this time a whole century will have passed before I can come back. So you have to watch over the Earth and our families and our Friends.”

Vegeta nodded, smirking thoughtfully. Goku was leaving with Shenron, his purity and goodness would be accompanying the Dragonballs, to help the evil that had been built up within them, to dissipate faster. “Yes, in the morning, you’re off again. Off to yet another adventure, this time, leaving another former enemy in charge of this silly planet.”

“What? Another former enemy? Which other one have I left in charge?”

“After Namek, Piccolo seemed to think he was in line to lead the defenders of our little speck in the universe. On the other hand he seemed to handle leadership quite well when Garlic Jr. attacked and the humans also unconsciously looked to his lead while you were out of commission with the heart virus.”

“Wait a minute… Bulma said you weren’t even on Earth when Garlic Jr. attacked it with the Black Water Mist, so how did you know about that? Gohan, Krillin and Piccolo never told anybody but me.”

“Since I have personally caused the destruction of a few hundred planets I know what it does to the Ki field of a planet when all the life forms on it are suddenly thrown into pure, survival instinct induced, violent chaos, Kakarrot. When I realized the only normal life forms on earth that I could sense were Baldy, Piccolo and your son I came back to investigate. As it turned out, they were holding their own just fine, so I ended up watching, and then I left again. But while I was here, it was highly amusing to watch Bulma roaming around vainly trying to destroy things when she never fails to get angry with me for doing such things. She reminded me a great deal of a female Saiyan then, and I’ve never forgotten it, though I have never told her about it, nor will I.”

“What were female Saiyans like, Vegeta? I mean, I know you weren’t old enough to have paid a whole lot of attention to them, but you must remember something.”

“Females were just as violent, warlike and fierce tempered as their male counterparts, making them prone to battle and getting into trouble of all sorts. But Napa and Radditz told me that females were also extraordinarily lithe and graceful of build and in motion, particularly in battle. They weren’t really any smarter than most of the males, but they were said to be quicker on their feet and with their wits. A female Saiyan was usually quite a bit smaller than her mate, but her feral nature and her body, which was built to be stronger, and there fore heavier than any earthling allowed them to want sex to be rough and passionate. Unlike the fragile humans of this planet, female Saiyans were also fiercely territorial, even if she wasn’t bonded to anyone, she might still fight to the death to keep a challenger away from a favorite lover. Bulma and your little harpy are both possessive of us, for earthlings, but neither of them would ever kill to keep another woman from trying something, and they are our bonded mates. Female Saiyans also had a particularly intense heat cycle that struck for three days every 3 or sometimes 4 months, and in that time, she is driven to either mate, or she would become even more temperamental than usual- which according to Napa and your brother was not a pretty picture. And, they told me that until a female Saiyan was bonded, she was free to accept the advances of as many males as she wanted to... Why did you want to know? Why are you asking me about this now?”

“I don’t know, I guess I was just curious, since you aren’t usually so talkative...”

Vegeta shrugged. “I guess I never thought you would care to be told, you have always said you were a Saiyan from Earth. I am from Vegetasai; I didn’t think the old days would matter to you. Anyway what in the hell are you still doing here, you should be saying a proper goodbye to that poor human you married, you moron. Pretend you are a true Saiyan for once in your life and pounce on her in your fourth form, give her something to dream about while you’re gone; you’ll even have the house to yourself with Gohan being happily married and Goten camping out with Trunks tonight.”

Goku grinned. That was Vegeta’s way of saying he wanted to be alone now. Though there was plenty of truth to what he had said too, he supposed he should be with Chichi tonight, they had been married a long time and he knew she had already been forced to put up with more than her share of hardships...

“You’ll be at Capsule Corp in the morning to see me off in the morning?”

“Yes idiot, I do live there. Now get lost.”

“I just wanted to say I meant what I said earlier that I’m proud to have you as my friend, Vegeta.” The older Saiyan turned and growled at him fiercely, Goku laughed, and stood up. “Ok, ok! I get it. I’m leaving… See ya later.”





**

Goku sighed as he appeared in his living room, in his adult, Super Saiyan Four form. Truthfully, he and Chichi hadn’t made love since he had been turned back into a kid by Emperor Pilaf’s silly wish… He had no idea how to approach her. It had hurt him when he realized she was so unhappy with him again. The wish hadn’t been his fault, and he actually had meant what he had said about liking the chance to be a kid again. Unfortunately that meant Chichi had a right to feel hurt by that admission. Any more intelligent person would have realized he had kind of insulted her. Instead, the rift between them was getting bigger, and this time he wasn’t sure how to close it, she didn’t talk to him anymore. Anytime he tried to catch her alone she just started to cry and look away again.

Chichi was in the kitchen, with her back to the living room, up to her elbows in dishwater, leaning over the sink. She was usually found humming to herself while she did chores around the house, but tonight, she was silent. Then, he saw her hold one of the plates up, water cascaded down her arm and back into the sink, but she didn’t seem to notice, looking at her reflection in the gleaming white surface. He heard her sigh, pausing for moment, she looked down, and then threw the plate to the floor with a strength he had long forgotten she was capable of mustering, it clattered to the floor, shattering into nothing but dust.

He didn’t really understand why, but it turned him on to see her show such that her inner fire, which had been absent since the wish, really was still there. He knew her display of temper was because she thought he didn’t love her anymore, at least he was smart enough to figure that out, he mused. Goku’s tail flickered behind him for a moment and he started to purr a little as he crept toward her silently, with the natural grace and stealth of a predatory cat. Before she realized she wasn’t alone, he had his arms around her and he nipped the velvety skin of her ear. “Hello there, beautiful.”

“Get off of me! And get the hell out of my house! You’ll regret this when my husband gets home- you big jerk.” She screeched, taking a heavy frying pan by its handle, she whacked him over her shoulder with her full strength, but of course it only made him purr more loudly.

“I am your husband, Chichi.” He laughed, pressing his body tightly up against hers, pinning her to the counter.

“B-but Goku- I thought you were with Vegeta. Besides- you can’t be doing this with me- you’re- you’re a child! Stop it…”

“Vegeta told me I should be here- with you. Looks like he was right, if all you can think of is the result of that wish while I’m holding you.” He purred, squeezing her breasts as he kissed the back of her neck, she moaned softly, leaning against him, letting her head roll to the side, granting him better access. “Looks like when I’m in this form I have enough of my Saiyan instincts to forget I’m supposed to be a kid now. I wonder how he knew I would… But it doesn’t matter right now. We’ve been married for a long time, Chichi, but I still think you’re beautiful... I remember every time we’ve ever made love, and I remember holding you in my arms while you slept, wondering what you were dreaming about... I still love you, Son Chichi.”

She started to cry in earnest then, but she draped one arm over his shoulder showing that she still wanted to be held. “Then how can you do this to me? How can you leave me tomorrow? How many times can you walk away from me in one lifetime? I don’t even understand what kind of love it is that we share anymore!”

“I would do anything for you and our kids, Chichi. I died to protect you and Gohan from Radditz and I really thought that using instant transmission to get Cell away from the earth was the right way to handle him- there wasn’t time for anything else chichi. And, about when they tried to wish me back, I really thought that the Earth was safer if I wasn’t on it. Up against the types of villains that we have faced, I have always tried to protect everyone including you, the best way I knew how.”

“I know that I sound selfish, but I married you when we were both young, and I had no idea then that when we spoke our vows that I would be forced to pine for you for years at a time while you were dead. And whenever you are in intensive training it’s kind of like you are dead, since I only got to hold you in my dreams then too. I love you, Son Goku, so much that it breaks my heart to say this but it is damn hard to be married to you sometimes. When we are together like this I know that you mean what you say and I having love you hold me… the way you kiss me makes me feel like I’m the most beautiful woman in the whole universe and making love to you is always incredible… but I wonder sometimes if another reason you stayed away after Cell is that you were unhappy with your life here with me. When you left to train Uub too, I wanted to kill you… even Vegeta couldn’t believe you did that, Goku. And now you are leaving me again.”

“W-woah… I guess I’ve never thought of it from your point of view, and I’m sorry, I never meant to hurt you. I don’t want to hurt anyone...”

“I know, Goku, you are so trusting and innocent and sweet natured that I can’t believe I said anything, but after tonight I’ll never have another chance. If I kept this locked inside me, I’m afraid that I would start to hate you, and that isn’t how I want to remember you.”

Goku hesitated for a moment, but before he could stop himself, a question left his lips. “W-Would you still marry me if you knew ahead of time that all of this was to happen again, Chichi?”

She was silent for such a long time that he turned her around to look in her eyes. She was still crying, silently, her dark eyes shining with sorrow and pain. “I-I don’t know, Goku. I just don’t know anymore. Until you left to train Uub I could always see a reason- usually a weird one, but still there had always been a reason for you to leave…”

“Uub had incredible power, but he had to learn to control it… I just wanted to be sure that someone on the earth was going to be ready to defend her when Vegeta and I are gone…”

“Since you could have lived at home while you were training him, I’m not buying it, Goku. What about our sons- what about training them to defend the Earth too? Trunks hates it passionately, but Vegeta is still training him.” Chichi shook her head slowly, looking down. “I’m sorry, Goku. I do love you, and in this life time I will miss you until I’ve taken my last breath, hell I love you so much that I’m not even sure how long I will live after you are gone. But it’s because I love you, that I have to tell you the truth. If I had known going into our marriage that I would spend at least half of it without you, no I wouldn’t have married you. I really feel like love means something different to me than it does to you, and I just can’t imagine spending my whole life waiting to you to love me the same way I love you, if I knew ahead of time that it wasn’t ever going to happen.”

He let go of her slowly, but he didn’t move away. “Well, I’m glad that we can still be honest with each other. But that sure didn’t go as well as I had planned… Vegeta made it sound simple to say goodbye to you…”

Chichi surprised him when she smiled a little. “He tends to be a bit of an animal when it comes to Bulma- in more ways than one or so she’s told me… To him it would seem simple- like one last roll in the proverbial hay, and it probably would tell Bulma everything she needs to know about where she stands with him. Vegeta has always let her do her own thing while he goes out and trains, but he never goes very far from her side, and certainly not for years at a time, either. Don’t you see that that is how you should feel about me, Goku? If you and I are really meant to be together you should’ve been here with me more, you and Vegeta are both Saiyans, so you should be similar when it comes to how you treat your mates too. In spite of him being the most arrogant, stubborn and temperamental occasional homicidal maniac on this entire planet he has been completely devoted to Bulma at least since Cell’s defeat, if not before it. When he was under Baby’s control it was even more obvious how close they really are…”

“So you really mean it? You really wouldn’t marry me all over again?”

“What you asked me was if I had known ahead of time what our life together would be like, would I marry you again. No I couldn’t possibly. But, love is blind, so if I didn’t know ahead of time, yes, I’d marry you all over again, and I can see myself telling you this all over again the next time you have to go with the dragon… I love you, Goku and it’s far too late to turn back the clock now. I’m so sorry that I hurt you tonight, with what I said, but I really thought it was important that you understand how I feel because we won’t ever have the chance to talk alone like this again. I’m going to miss you more than I can ever tell you… I guess maybe Vegeta was right after all… maybe having you hold me and make love to me tonight would be the best way for us to say goodbye…”

Goku didn’t trust himself to speak, so he kissed her instead and allowed his instincts to take over. Their lovemaking had never been so intense, but this time, rather than his love for her, Goku was thinking about what she had told him. She had hurt him tonight, more than she could possibly know, more than he was willing to tell her. He had disobeyed his instincts to allow himself to marry her. He had tried to do the honorable thing, he had always wanted to think that she had been happy with him, to find out otherwise with such brutal honesty came as an incredible shock…


**


Tired as he was from the titanic rumble he’d been in with Vegeta and then making love to Chichi right afterwards, he was glad to see that his family and friends were all there, waving to him. Once again in his child size body, Goku sat upon Shenron’s head and waved at his family and friends. He had a lot to think about, he realized as he looked at Chichi, who stood sobbing, unable even to look at him she was leaning on the shoulders of Videl and Gohan. If he had known ahead of time how unhappy his decision to marry Chichi had made her, would he have done things differently he wondered?

“You are going to continue with your training, aren’t you, Kakarrot.” Vegeta asked distracting him, as the dragon was turning to leave.

“They’re in your hands now, Vegeta.” Goku told him, and watched the other Saiyan trying to hold back his trademark smirk and nod almost imperceptibly, they both knew that meant yes... So that when they met again in other world they would have another great sparing session to look forward to. Standing off by himself now, the Saiyan Prince had always had an intangible yet incredibly powerful aura of majesty about him that still set him apart from anyone else Goku had ever met. And once again, it struck Goku as tragic that the two of them were the last of their kind, no one else would ever know what it meant to be a pure blooded Saiyan...

Still, Goku’s child body was nearing the limits of its endurance and strength, and so, he finally lay down to take a nap, dreaming of strange and wonderful new futures in other dimensions where anything was possible…













Now then… I’d love to know what people think of this so far, and where you think it ought to go from here! So, don’t forget to REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!