Dragon Ball/Z/GT Fan Fiction ❯ Camoflage ❯ Chapter 2

Vegeta landed in the secluded clearing of the mountaintop forest. It never ceased to amaze him how there could be so much unoccupied land on this planet, yet most of the inhabitants chose to live, crammed together, in big cities. Could it be out of some sense of security? Safety in large numbers?

Of course Vegeta, being an expert in the field of purging planets, saw the flaw in their thinking. With everyone so close together, it would only take a matter of hours to wipe out three quarters of the earth's population. On a normal mission, that would leave over two days to eliminate the stragglers. Not a very good strategical planetary defense plan at all.

He gathered a ball of energy in his hand, letting it grow until he had to hold it high over his head to avoid singeing his hair. Then, with great difficulty and against his true nature, he drew the energy back into himself. The sensation was exhilarating as it coursed through his body, but, at the same time, depressing. Without letting the energy ball blast something to bits, it felt a little like a hard-on without someone to fuck.

It was only a matter of minutes before he sensed it. He was glad he had thought up the energy ball idea. It was much more reliable, and a hell of a lot more private, than any other communication device on this planet. His signal had been received and the recipient was heading this way.

"Hey, Vegeta! I was just about to signal you! It's so weird how we think alike sometimes."

"Now there's something that will give me nightmares," Vegeta said, turning to face the one he had summoned. "Tell me, Kakarot, will I end up acting as fucking stupid as you if I remain on this planet as long?"

Goku's eyes flew open wide. "What did I do now?"

"You told that pathetic excuse of a fighter friend of yours!" Vegeta accused walking up to stand just inches away from the taller man. "And he was about to tell her!"

Goku gave a nervous laugh and scratched the back of his head. "Oh, yeah. That."

"Just what the hell were you thinking?"

"Well, you see, Vegeta, he called me right after Bulma dumped him, so I went over to try and cheer him up. I guess it just popped out. He was pretty wasted by then, I didn't think he'd remember anything I said."

"Well, he obviously did," Vegeta sneered. "I told you that in full Saiyan warrior confidence, dammit! This just proves how unworthy you are to hold that title." He turned to walk away.

"No! Wait, Vegeta!" Goku put his hand on the other man's shoulder to stop him from leaving. "I'm sorry. I wasn't thinking straight that night, I'll just tell Yamcha that I made it up. I swear!"

Vegeta stared at the hand until Goku removed it. "Who else have you told?"

"Well. . ." Goku said, thinking hard, ". . .Krillen and Tien may know something about it, but I didn't tell them outright like I did Yamcha. It's just that we've all been fighting together for so long, it's hard to keep secrets. Piccolo doesn't know," he added in a poor attempt to soothe Vegeta's growing anger.

"Damn you, Kakarot!" he yelled, spinning around to glare up at his face. "Have you no self control? Have you no Saiyan pride?"

"Sorry, Vegeta." Goku hung his head in shame. "You're right."

Vegeta sighed. Hearing him say it wasn't as fulfilling as he thought it would be. "Well, the damage is done. Saiyan tradition says I have every right to kill those that know, but we may need them for some reason when the Androids appear. Telling them it was a lie isn't enough because they would still think about it. And I am not about to stay on this fucking planet if I have to see that look of judgement in their eyes. So what do you suggest?"

Goku rubbed his chin as he stared up at the sky, deep in thought. Twice, he opened his mouth, then shut it again without saying anything. Vegeta was just about to tell him he was leaving, when Goku snapped his fingers and laughed.

"I've got it! All you have to do is marry Bulma!"

"What?" Vegeta roared. The thought of being tied down to that woman for the rest of his life made his stomach bunch up in knots. "How would that solve anything?"

"You marry her, then everyone sees how respectable you are, then your problems are solved! Just look at me!"

Vegeta had to admit it made sense. Aside from his less-than-innocent past, the two of them were much the same. Yet Goku had a wife and child, making him fit into this society better, and was damn good at hiding his true nature while around them.

"Come on, Vegeta, Bulma's not that bad. Just make it all legal-like and everyone will think better of you. It's not so bad, really. I spend a little time with Chi Chi just to keep her happy, then I'm free to do what I want."

"If you had been able to keep your fucking trap shut, I wouldn't be in this mess!" Vegeta said, poking Goku in the chest for emphasis.

"I'm sorry, Vegeta," he said again, holding up his hands in surrender. "But if you had seen how miserable Yamcha was that night and how easily he gets drunk. . .I just couldn't help myself!"

"You are pathetic, Kakarot. You have no self control and absolutely no taste."

"Ah, but you've never seen Yamcha naked before," Goku said with a wicked smile. "He's pretty tasty to me."

The image of Yamcha being held by the Saiyan from the past came back to Vegeta's mind. Although he was much too weak for Vegeta's standards, he could understand how some would enjoy that. As a desperate last resort, of course.

It would be only the best for the Saiyan Prince. He much preferred another Saiyan over any of these undeserving earthlings. And Kakarot had the kind of body any Saiyan elitist would fight over. If only Vegeta could get him to stop fucking around with these lowly fighters and pay more attention to his needs, he wouldn't have had to stoop to relieving his tensions with that woman. Although not entirely unpleasant, she just wasn't capable of making him feel the way Kakarot did.

"Fine!" Vegeta snapped. "I'll marry the bitch! But you owe me, big time, for this Kakarot!"

"Trust me. It'll be just like you said it was back on Planet Vegeta. The females stay home and spend all their time raising the kids until they are old enough to train, and the warriors are free to fight and fuck each other to their heart's content. So. . .which one did you call me out here for?"