Dragon Ball/Z/GT Fan Fiction ❯ Clueless-DBZ style ❯ Nice Stems ( Chapter 5 )

Clueless, DBZ style

I do not own DBZ or the rights to the movie Clueless owned by paramount pictures.


*I didn't know what I was going to do with 18. I felt really nervous, even Chiaotzu my masseuse said I had a lot of tension in my back. I'll have to suck it up and drive on. I can't keep this from her no longer.*

"It's my hips, isn't it?" 18 said bluntly.
"No of course not 18. Bulma tell her it's not that." ChiChi choked out.
"Don't be stupid, you can do so much better."
"He thinks he's all that 18, don't worry Bulma and me are here for you."
"Yeah, God's gift."
"You're too good for him."
"If I'm too good for him then how come I'm not with him?"
"I have an idea, lets blow off seventh and eighth, and go to the mall. Have a major calorie fest and see the new Ben Affleck or Josh Hartnett movie." Bulma smiled and grabbed 18 and ChiChi in a hug.
"Umm, you're scaring me Bulma."
"Oh, sorry 18."

*Mall was totally a good idea. We did some major power shopping. You should see this new dress I got. Oh my god, it's unbelievable. I'm so wearing to school tomorrow.*

"Ohh baby, did you see the ass on that waiter? Almost better then Goku's."
"Wow, I want to have a piece of that." 18 eyes followed the waiter's ass as he served food down the restaurant from them.
"Survey says?"
"Very doable."
"Puny, I like em' big. Like Goku."
"Ooh I don't really like muscles. But there is a few that look good that way."
"You know I don't really care either way. Oh, just as long as his you know what isn't crooked. I really hate that."
"What?" Bulma squeaked out.
"Shhh 18 don't scare her."
"Why what's wrong?"
"Bulma is saving herself for marriage."
"Bulma you're still a virgin? No way?"
"God, you say that like it's a bad thing."
"Besides, the politically correct term is hymenally challenged now."
"Thank you ChiChi. I am just no interested in doing it until I find the right person. You see how picky I am with my shoes and those only go on my feet." Bulma snapped off as ChiChi and 18 both giggled.
"Chi you're not one to talk either Miss Thing."
"Wait a minute here! Wait. I thought that like you and Goku were, um right?"
"My man is satisfied. All I have to do is feed him. He's got no cause for complaints, but technically, I am a virgin. You know what I mean."
"Oh God." 18 sighed and looked down at her plate of half eaten food.
"18 what's wrong?"
"They're playing our song. You know the one Trunks and I danced to. Rollin with the Saiyans." 18 sang off key a little.
"Ohh, shit 18 don't cry."
"I'm sorry guys." 18 broke out into tears and started to bang her head hard against the table.
"Ack Stop that. ChiChi stop her before she dents her head."

*I could tell 18 grieving period would be considerate unless I found someone to take Trunks' place right away. So ok, I don't want to be a traitor to my generation and all, but I don't get how guys dress today. I mean c'mon, it looks like they just fell out of bed and put on some baggy pants and take their greasy hair, EWWW and cover it up with a backwards cap and like, we're expected to swoon? I don't think so! Saiyan training outfits and armor are looking more promising everyday. But searching for a boy in high school is as useless as searching for a meaning in a Hercule movie. I'm destine to be lonely forever. Vegeta got him some crazy woman. And look what I have, nothing. Shit I better pay attention in class before Mr. Son has a canary.*

Bulma shook the daze off when the classroom door open and a very good-looking guy walked in.
"Damn." Bulma whispered under her breath.
"So, this must be the elusive Yamcha." Mr. Son announced.
"Yep, where should I park?"
"Um, there's one. Third row back."

*Ok, Ok, now I know I said I'd find a guy for 18, but I suppose there's no harm in finding one for myself also.*

Bulma grinned to herself as she watched Yamcha walk by her and sit across and behind her. She dropped her favorite pink feather pen on the floor on purpose to see what Yamcha would do. Yamcha bent down and retrieved the pen, closely looking at her legs.
"Nice stems."
"Thanks."
"Bulma?"
"Present."
"I guess we established that during attendance. It's time for your oral."
"Excuse me?" Bulma looked at Gohan with a disgusted look on her face.
"Your original oral. The topic is violence in the media"
"Oh! Sorry Mr. Son." Bulma gets up in a hurry grabbing some note cards and headed for the podium.
"So ok, the Attorney General says there is too much violence on TV and that should stop. But even if you took out all the violent shows you could still see the news. So, until all mankind, and who ever else is on earth with us now, is peaceful enough not to have violence on the news there's no point in taking it out of shows that need it for entertainment value. Thank you." Bulma smiled as the class erupted into applauds.
"Any comments on her speech? Trunks?"
"My shoulder hurts, can I go to the nurse?" Mr. Son rolled his eyes and ignored his request to sneak out of class.
"Goten? Comment?"
"Two very enthusiastic thumbs up. Fine holiday fun with the Saiyans!"
"Hello!?! Was I the only one listening? I mean, I thought it reeked bad." Bra spat out.
"I believe that was your designer imposter perfume you're wearing." The bell rang saving Bra another tongue lashing from Bulma. Yamcha got up and stood over Bulma's desk.
"I dug it." He gave her a wink before he left the room leaving her more dazed.

*WOW is all I can say. During the next few days I did what any normal girl would do. I sent myself love letters, and flowers, and candy. Just so he'd see how desired I was, in case he didn't already know. And I found the most revealing clothes I could find, sometimes you have to show a little skin, this reminds guys of you naked, and then they think of sex, and well I hope you get the rest. And it don't hurt to draw attention to your mouth, that's what the expensive candy is for.*

"Hey Dutchess." Yamcha whispered in to Bulma's ear. It sent shivers down her spine.
"Yes?"
"You rashin' this weekend?"
"What? Huh?"
"Like Saturday. I'm new but I thought maybe you had it in on the heavy parties in town."
"Well, my ex-step brother's friends are having a party."
"Solid!"

*I'm so excited; I can't believe Yamcha and me are going out tonight. Oh I got to find something to wear that will drive him so crazy. Daddy has a huge case he's working on. Heaven forbid Vegeta came over to help him out. Can't this boy like leave? So Daddy had some clerks and other people over helping him go through a gazillion depositions for the case.*

"Daddy!" Bulma called from the top of the stairs when she heard the doorbell ring.
"What? I'm busy."
"I can't just open it, I have to make him wait a while."
"Then he can wait outside. Told you I'm busy."
"Vegeta, pleeeeeaaaase?" Bulma begged at the top of the stairs.
"C'mon Vegeta please?" Vegeta smirked; he liked to hear her begging him. He got up and went and answered the door. Vegeta was slightly stunned to see the guy waltz right into the house looking around.
"What? Do you hear? I only rang that door bell a hundred times."
"She's not ready." He grunted and marched back to the dinning room with Yamcha following him.
"Hey man. Nice pile of steel you got here." Yamcha said extending his hand to Dr. Briefs, only to be ignored.
"You drink?"
"No thanks, I'm cool."
"I'm not offering, I'm asking you if you drink? You think I'd give alcohol to teenage drivers taking my daughter out?"
"Hey man, the protective vibe, I dig. Don't worry."
"What's with you kid? You trying to get into the Ginyu Force or something?" Dr. Briefs asked him noticing his clothing. Bulma finally made her grand entrance, making every male in the room including Vegeta to do a double take.
"Yamcha."
"Doll face."
"Handsome."
"Stunning."
"You are not letting her go out like that are you?" Vegeta asked leaning over to Dr.Briefs.
"Bulma get in here."
"What's up Daddy?"
"What the hell is that?"
"A dress."
"Says who?"
"Calvin Klein of course."
"It looks like underwear. Go upstairs and put something over it."
"Duh Daddy, I was just going to." Bulma giggled and ran to get her coat.
"Hey you! Anything happens to my daughter I got a Saiyan, a .45 and a shovel. i doubt anyone would miss you." Dr. Briefs said trying his best to intimidate Yamcha.
"Bye Daddy!" Bulma grabs Yamcha by the arm and hurry out the door.
"Thanks your dad is pretty scary.
"Naaa, what's scary is waking up and seeing Vegeta in his boxers at the kitchen table."
"You like Billie Holiday?"
"I love him."
"Right." Yamcha smirked; he knew Bulma didn't have any clue who Billie Holiday was considering she called Billie a guy.

"I didn't like him." Vegeta growled.
"What's to like?"
"I just don't like him. I think I should go to the party."
"If you feel you need to go, then go."
"You don't need me then?"
"Hell no Vegeta."
"Sure?"
"Vegeta, go to the party, go go go go. Watch my Bulma please."
"Ok, I'll watch her for you." Vegeta got up and stalked out of the room.
"Yep son, you do that."