Dragon Ball/Z/GT Fan Fiction ❯ Crossing the Boundaries ❯ Simple Acceptance ( Chapter 18 )
[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]
By: KrimsonTwilight 
Now what...?
Anime/Manga: Dragon Ball/Z/GT Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Psychological / / Hentai / Drama / Angst / Action | Type: Self Insertion | Uploaded On: 09.08.2003 | Updated On: 09.08.2003 | Pages: 2 | Words: 3.6K | Visits: 691 | Status: Completed
Now what...?
Anime/Manga: Dragon Ball/Z/GT Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Psychological / / Hentai / Drama / Angst / Action | Type: Self Insertion | Uploaded On: 09.08.2003 | Updated On: 09.08.2003 | Pages: 2 | Words: 3.6K | Visits: 691 | Status: Completed
The counter-pressure on the door startled me but not as much as the hand resting on the wood just above my head. I turned around as the soft click of the latch sounded, and though I tried to question his actions, nothing worthwhile came of the attempt. The sole result included some scrambled, incoherent, half-sentences which accomplished little more than making me look like a fool.
He was standing over me, one hand still braced on the door. No definable emotion showed on his face, but I knew that was little indication of what was happening beneath the surface of that exterior facade. " Why are you doing this? "
I blinked several times while trying to interpret the meaning behind the query. Trunks stood far too close for me to think clearly, and it didn't help that the night had already been quite the roller coaster ride. " Doing what? " I managed to stammer after a few minutes.
He frowned at the question; those intense eyes narrowed making me feel as though he were peering straight through my soul. I squirmed under his scrutiny...instantly reminded again of his resemblance to Vegeta. That sudden thought only served to make me increasingly uneasy.
" Running away. " His response was little more than soft hiss, but it elicited more of a reaction than if he'd screamed it at the top of his lungs.
My breath came in short ragged gasps, and I could feel the heat rising in my cheeks, all the while wondering if it was some gene defect that gave the royal line such a penchant for causing mental anguish. I had to turn my gaze to the floor before I could bring myself to answer him, " It's...the only solution. "
" Oh? Is that so? "
" Yes. "
" You're a lousy liar. "
" I..." There was no witty rebuttal or snide remark that I could use to retaliate. His observation had left me both humiliated and dumbfounded. If he had this much insight to my feelings on this matter, then what other things had he previously figured out? Granted, it wasn't always easy to keep my emotions in check, but had I really been that apparent? Was he already aware of everything that I had been hoping all this time to hide?
" It wasn't that long ago when you said that you wanted to be with me...that you believed this could work. Has anything changed so drastically that the only option is for you to run away again? Do you really want to suffer like that for the rest of your life? "
" How can you ask me those questions? " I sighed not bothering to hold back the tears. " Everything has changed, and I'm suffering anyhow. It doesn't matter. I won't be someone else's burden. "
He mulled over what I'd said for some time, his gaze fixed on my own, before he spoke again, " You'll probably be alone for the rest of your life. The mark won't fade; it won't go away. Your ability to form relationships with others will be hindered on a mental and emotional level, and there is also a high risk of severe depression...among other side effects. Do you honestly believe that you can live like that? "
What he spoke of was little more than a death sentence, and I didn't believe for a second that I could live under those circumstances. Truthfully, I didn't want to. " I'll have to manage somehow. "
" You'd go through all that just to get away from me? "
" What? " I exclaimed totally aghast at his reasoning. " How can you even think that? " All of my easy outs had turned to dust, left to the mercy of the four winds, and now nothing remained to fall back on. What did I have to lose?
" What else can I think? " he demanded. " I tell you that you're going to be miserable for the rest of your life, and you're still willing to go. That certainly doesn't say much for me. "
" You've got this all wrong. I... " there was a long hesitation as I struggled to find the right words. Raising my eyes to his, gathering strength from some unknown place, I continued, " I won't be your obligation, Trunks. Suffering alone for the rest of my life has to be better than knowing that we're together only because we have to be. I won't do that to you, and I won't do it to myself. "
" And what about my feelings? " he asked arching one dark brow. " Don't I get a say in any of this? Maybe I don't want to live that way. "
" I just assumed you wouldn't care, I mean, after everything... " My explanation fell short. How many times would I make the same mistake; automatically assuming that I was only one affected by the decisions I made? Instead of asking Trunks how he felt, I'd decided for him and based my actions on those assumptions. " Oh. Well, I-I..." I crossed my arms over my chest and glared at him, " you never gave me a reason to think anything else. How was I supposed to know what you thought? "
" You could have tried asking. "
" And risk what little relationship we did have going? All these months I've been terrified that you'd find out how I felt and shut me out totally. I couldn't take the chance! "
" Life is worthless if you don't take chances sometimes. God, woman, are you afraid of everything? "
Of all the things that he could have said, that smug little remark was probably the absolute worst choice he could have made. " And what stopped you? When did it become my duty to make this work? You could have come to me, you know! You could have told me how you felt! I tried to back off because I didn't want to hold you to something that you didn't want! I wasn't about to force you to love me, or try to make you feel like you had no choice! You started this! You created this bond! But Goddess help me, I am going to end it! "
With every syllable my voice rose in pitch and volume until I was screaming like a madwoman. To an outsider, it would have appeared that I'd completely lost my ties to the sane world, but he'd just pushed me too far. I'd shoved past him and grabbed a black bag from beside the dresser. I threw open a drawer and began shoving all the contents into the bag.
" And just what the hell do you think you're doing? "
There was a dangerous edge to the question, not exactly a threat, but I was too caught up in my own rage to really attempt to distinguish the meaning of it. " I told you! I'm leaving! " I slammed the drawer shut and yanked open another, " Now get out and leave me alone! "
I had felt that steel-like grip clamp down on my arm and couldn't help but wince at the pain that followed. " You're not going anywhere, " he growled, and I felt his ki energy flare slightly.
" You can't stop me! "
" I can, and I will. "
My anger dissipated quickly. So many months had come and gone, and I'd cried more in that time than all the previous years of my life combined. So many things had happened that my emotions were now unstable at best. I had met the man of my dreams. He'd made me his own and gave me a child. But that dream had shattered and the baby had been lost...leaving me nothing to hold onto...I'd touched my heart's desire, held it, and watched it fade away before my eyes. What was left to me now?
I broke down completely, sinking to the floor in a trembling, sobbing heap. " Why...are...you...doing...this? " I choked the words out between gasping breaths. " Just...let...me...go..."
The next thing I knew he'd crouched down next to me and taken both of my wrists in his hands, " We can't go on like this, " he said very matter-of-factly.
" Then let me go, " I cried trying to pull away from his grasp.
" Face it. You don't really want to go. You never wanted to go. "
" Why can't you understand...? "
" But I do. I do understand, " his voice grew softer, and he moved one hand from my wrist reaching out hesitantly towards my face.
I saw the hurt light in his eyes when I recoiled, and for a moment his hand paused between us. He seemed to be contemplating what he should do next. His expression gave no indication of his thoughts, but seconds later, I felt something come alive inside of me...the faint whisper of a thought...the reassuring feeling of completeness that was so familiar and yet almost forgotten...
And there he was. My fantasy. No longer perfect. No longer the untarnished hero. My eyes could no longer find the unprecedented champion on a pedestal of gold, unassuming and flawless on that dais upon which I'd unknowingly placed him.
No. He was a man. A Saiya-jin warrior driven by instinct to fight but driven by compassion to protect. He'd seen a hundred battles, or more, and each had left a small piece of itself embellished upon his soul...forever. Nothing in the world could ever exorcise those demons he carried; they were a part of him now.
The same instincts that drove him to fight also pushed him to do the things that he had done to me...turned the protector of the frightened and helpless into the remorseless conqueror of flesh and soul. Those things which had left their own permanent scars. How ironic that an act that seemed unforgivably cruel could leave its perpetrator as vulnerable as its victim. I had suffered. He had suffered. The question now was whether we could salvage enough of ourselves to heal the wounds and find some semblance of comfort in the ravaged remains.
" You're right. I don't want to go, " I finally admitted in a trembling whisper.
He'd let down his guard and allowed me to step inside his mind once more. All of the confusion, the doubt, and the pain wrapped itself around my subconscious mingling with my own emotions in that strange inexplicable way, and I welcomed it. After all of this time, I finally knew just how empty I'd been without him, and I knew that with this reminder I would never be able to tolerate living with that void again. Whether or not I wanted this...whether or not he wanted this...it was what had to be. We were powerless to fight something so strong.
With a long, shaking breath I allowed my own barriers to drop trying to force back the overwhelming fear I possessed of sharing those feelings with him. His eyes grew wide as I did so, and I knew immediately that he was taken by the intensity of the emotion there. This was the first time that I had knowingly let him explore my mind, and I was scared. My initial reaction was to shut him out.
" Don't, " he said firmly and sat on the floor next to me.
" But..."
" Sh...it's alright. " When I didn't look convinced, he added, " I promise. "
Reluctantly I stopped fighting it and let go completely. Nothing in our world could have prepared me for the sensation; this ability to know another soul so intricately...to merge two beings so different in nature and not know where one begins and the other ends. In an instant his life had become an open book to me:
*****
They were just children, Trunks and Goten; best friends who played games entirely unlike the other kids their age. Fighting, flying, pushing themselves to the limits of their physical endurance like their fathers had before them. It wasn't always easy being so different, but something in them embraced this way of life...this driving need to be better, fight harder, become stronger...They were two of a kind, and it formed a bond between them that was unbreakable...
*****
An explosive surge of energy, almost painful to bear, but he'd reached Super Saiya-jin...at last! All of the training had finally paid off, and there was no greater reward than the look of pride in Vegeta's eyes...
*****
People were screaming, dying right before his eyes, but he was too injured to move. Goku and Vegeta continued to fight, but things were looking grim. The pain was so terrible...hope fleeting more with every blow exchanged. Gohan was unconscious now, and Goten was trying desperately to get the innocent bystanders to safety. But there were too many...too many to save....
*****
One after another I caught glimpses of his past, his hopes, his dreams...seeing his life through his eyes. I knew almost everything there was to know, including the truth regarding how he felt about me. Through all of the memories and emotions I sought out what I needed to find.
As Trunks realized what I now knew, he made a heartfelt apology, " I'm sorry if it's not what you wanted. "
What I found wasn't love, yet he had to come to care quite deeply for me over the passing months. There was also sexual desire hindered by a lingering sense of guilt and a fear that he'd end up hurting me again. Most importantly, there was a desire to try. A genuine longing to make amends and forge a new path, a new understanding between the two of us that may someday lead to something greater. It was hope, and that was the most promising thing that I could ask for.
" Don't be sorry. It's more than I expected given all that's happened. "
He shook his head laughing just a bit, " How can you be so damn forgiving? "
" I just love you that much. " I don't know what made me say it. He didn't love me. I knew it, yet just then it didn't matter. For some crazy reason, I had to say it out loud. Maybe I just needed to finally come to terms with it.
Suddenly, I became very aware of his close proximity, and the fact that one hand remained loosely wrapped around my wrist made my heart skip a beat. The images of our passion that had haunted my thoughts earlier in the night sparked anew. I blushed furiously quickly catching then releasing his gaze, but no matter how discreet I tried to be at this point, there was no hiding those passing thoughts from his curiosity.
His lips were pressed to mine before I had time to process what was happening, but I willingly complied with every ounce of my being. I reveled in the taste of his mouth and the feel of his body against my own. How often had I dwelled upon the memory of his touch? One mere kiss had me lost in a need that I couldn't control. This was further fueled by the reawakened bond through which I could sense his longing...a desire that increased as his mind slowly shifted into a more instinctual state.
Too soon he pulled back, concern visible in the depths of his eyes. He worried that this was happening for the wrong reasons and that I would come to regret this if it went too far. He fought with his instincts, trying to drive back the urge that pushed him to claim what was rightfully his...the need that had driven him so many months ago. " This isn't right, " he panted backing away.
I reached out and pressed my hand against his chest, " No more charade...no more pretending. "
" But I can't promise... "
I quickly interrupted him, " Then don't. "
That was all he needed to hear. With lightening-quick, nearly imperceptible movements, he'd moved us both to the bed. For a moment he stayed poised above me, slipping the shirt from his body as I admired his masculine beauty in the moonlight. My previous reminiscence was a pale comparison for the exhilaration of being here with him once more. Almost shyly I let my fingertips trail over the taunt muscles of his stomach; my hand then sliding upwards to his chest as he leaned down to capture my mouth again.
Between us, his hands deftly set about loosening the buttons of my night shirt tearing the last few away in their haste. He was holding back, still afraid of frightening or injuring me, and I was touched by the fact that he was trying to be gentle. He drew back slightly, his cerulean eyes searching mine for a timeless instant. The internal battle of his Saiya-jin blood and human conscious reflected plainly in that troubled gaze. He still carried so much guilt, but I wanted him to know that I understood and there was nothing left to be forgiven.
His breath was hot against my lips, his body a heartbeat from my own. The ecstatic rhythm of his pulse pounded beneath my fingertips. Slowly I moved my hand against his neck; a delicious shiver stirred me as my fingers trailed through those cool dark locks.
I could feel his resistance, though it grew increasingly weaker. He was more in control than he'd been before, but in an ironic twist, I was unwilling to allow him any chance of gaining that victory. This was something that we both wanted, and if we were to have any hope of building a life together, he had to relinquish the shame that continued to find harbor within his heart. I leaned up quickly, before my resolve could diminish, and sunk my teeth sharply into the sensitive juncture between his neck and shoulder.
An intense jolt of shock accompanied the guttural moan that escaped my mate. Every muscle in his body tensed as I fell back into the pillows once again. There was only the briefest flicker of doubt in his eyes before he succumbed fully to passion's unrelenting demand. He quickly captured my wrists pinning them firmly above my head with a single hand leaving me a prone and willing servant to his whims.
Trunks leaned in close; his hair brushed across my cheek as he growled suggestively against my ear. I gasped as his teeth grazed a trail along my neck pausing just shy of his mark. He moved slowly, deliberate in this sensual torture, and placed a single kiss at the hollow of my throat. I whimpered softly arching my body against his...relishing every minute sensation from the way his silky strands of hair tickled my heated flesh to the intoxicatingly musky scent of his sweat dampened form. It was like stepping outside of reality into another world...
One leg pressed insistently between my thighs; the cat-and-mouse game of seduction falling short to the need for fulfillment. This lust was like a madness driving us from the inside out, and I held my breath in sweet anticipation as he positioned himself. His entry was sharp and intense like the crack of whip, trembling along that fine line which separates pleasure and pain. It was more than I'd expected, but my sudden cry was lost in the fury of his kiss.
He'd released my hands just then, and I was quick to wrap my arms about his neck clinging desperately to him. Our bodies danced together in perfect rhythm as though we'd consummated our passion a hundred times before, but it was something deeper that moved us. His energy burned in my blood as his hands and his lips seared my flesh eliciting a pleasure that I never knew a being was capable of feeling. The need for release grew like an ocean wave, and he tore his mouth from mine. Even in this heightened state, I knew what he was about to do, and my body trembled at the thought. As the rushing torrent of ecstasy exploded within me, I threw back my head and felt his fangs pierce the mark yet again as his own climax seized him.
I soared at the apex of pleasure for a long moment before slowly beginning to regain my senses. He hadn't moved. I'd opened my eyes to find him looking down at me. I didn't know what to say, or if I should've said anything at all. Leaning down he'd brushed his lips lightly over mine then rolled to one side.
After a few minutes had passed, I looked over at him. The first rays of morning struggled to peek through the blinds giving a grayish light to the room. Hesitantly I curled up next to him and was pleasantly surprised when he rolled towards me and wrapped one arm around my waist. No, it wasn't love, but it was start...
~*~*~*~*~*~
The midday sun was bright even with the blinds to keep it out. I groaned a bit and pulled the blanket up to protect my sensitive eyes from the glare. I was tired and a bit sore from the morning, but that feeling brought an immediate smile to my lips. I quietly recalled every moment of our tryst from the first kiss to falling asleep in his arms.
It was then that I noticed the vacant spot beside me. Perhaps, I thought, he'd just woken earlier and went for something to eat or he'd felt awkward about things and snuck out after I'd dozed off. But no. As I sat up and threw back the covers, I knew something was very very wrong...
He was standing over me, one hand still braced on the door. No definable emotion showed on his face, but I knew that was little indication of what was happening beneath the surface of that exterior facade. " Why are you doing this? "
I blinked several times while trying to interpret the meaning behind the query. Trunks stood far too close for me to think clearly, and it didn't help that the night had already been quite the roller coaster ride. " Doing what? " I managed to stammer after a few minutes.
He frowned at the question; those intense eyes narrowed making me feel as though he were peering straight through my soul. I squirmed under his scrutiny...instantly reminded again of his resemblance to Vegeta. That sudden thought only served to make me increasingly uneasy.
" Running away. " His response was little more than soft hiss, but it elicited more of a reaction than if he'd screamed it at the top of his lungs.
My breath came in short ragged gasps, and I could feel the heat rising in my cheeks, all the while wondering if it was some gene defect that gave the royal line such a penchant for causing mental anguish. I had to turn my gaze to the floor before I could bring myself to answer him, " It's...the only solution. "
" Oh? Is that so? "
" Yes. "
" You're a lousy liar. "
" I..." There was no witty rebuttal or snide remark that I could use to retaliate. His observation had left me both humiliated and dumbfounded. If he had this much insight to my feelings on this matter, then what other things had he previously figured out? Granted, it wasn't always easy to keep my emotions in check, but had I really been that apparent? Was he already aware of everything that I had been hoping all this time to hide?
" It wasn't that long ago when you said that you wanted to be with me...that you believed this could work. Has anything changed so drastically that the only option is for you to run away again? Do you really want to suffer like that for the rest of your life? "
" How can you ask me those questions? " I sighed not bothering to hold back the tears. " Everything has changed, and I'm suffering anyhow. It doesn't matter. I won't be someone else's burden. "
He mulled over what I'd said for some time, his gaze fixed on my own, before he spoke again, " You'll probably be alone for the rest of your life. The mark won't fade; it won't go away. Your ability to form relationships with others will be hindered on a mental and emotional level, and there is also a high risk of severe depression...among other side effects. Do you honestly believe that you can live like that? "
What he spoke of was little more than a death sentence, and I didn't believe for a second that I could live under those circumstances. Truthfully, I didn't want to. " I'll have to manage somehow. "
" You'd go through all that just to get away from me? "
" What? " I exclaimed totally aghast at his reasoning. " How can you even think that? " All of my easy outs had turned to dust, left to the mercy of the four winds, and now nothing remained to fall back on. What did I have to lose?
" What else can I think? " he demanded. " I tell you that you're going to be miserable for the rest of your life, and you're still willing to go. That certainly doesn't say much for me. "
" You've got this all wrong. I... " there was a long hesitation as I struggled to find the right words. Raising my eyes to his, gathering strength from some unknown place, I continued, " I won't be your obligation, Trunks. Suffering alone for the rest of my life has to be better than knowing that we're together only because we have to be. I won't do that to you, and I won't do it to myself. "
" And what about my feelings? " he asked arching one dark brow. " Don't I get a say in any of this? Maybe I don't want to live that way. "
" I just assumed you wouldn't care, I mean, after everything... " My explanation fell short. How many times would I make the same mistake; automatically assuming that I was only one affected by the decisions I made? Instead of asking Trunks how he felt, I'd decided for him and based my actions on those assumptions. " Oh. Well, I-I..." I crossed my arms over my chest and glared at him, " you never gave me a reason to think anything else. How was I supposed to know what you thought? "
" You could have tried asking. "
" And risk what little relationship we did have going? All these months I've been terrified that you'd find out how I felt and shut me out totally. I couldn't take the chance! "
" Life is worthless if you don't take chances sometimes. God, woman, are you afraid of everything? "
Of all the things that he could have said, that smug little remark was probably the absolute worst choice he could have made. " And what stopped you? When did it become my duty to make this work? You could have come to me, you know! You could have told me how you felt! I tried to back off because I didn't want to hold you to something that you didn't want! I wasn't about to force you to love me, or try to make you feel like you had no choice! You started this! You created this bond! But Goddess help me, I am going to end it! "
With every syllable my voice rose in pitch and volume until I was screaming like a madwoman. To an outsider, it would have appeared that I'd completely lost my ties to the sane world, but he'd just pushed me too far. I'd shoved past him and grabbed a black bag from beside the dresser. I threw open a drawer and began shoving all the contents into the bag.
" And just what the hell do you think you're doing? "
There was a dangerous edge to the question, not exactly a threat, but I was too caught up in my own rage to really attempt to distinguish the meaning of it. " I told you! I'm leaving! " I slammed the drawer shut and yanked open another, " Now get out and leave me alone! "
I had felt that steel-like grip clamp down on my arm and couldn't help but wince at the pain that followed. " You're not going anywhere, " he growled, and I felt his ki energy flare slightly.
" You can't stop me! "
" I can, and I will. "
My anger dissipated quickly. So many months had come and gone, and I'd cried more in that time than all the previous years of my life combined. So many things had happened that my emotions were now unstable at best. I had met the man of my dreams. He'd made me his own and gave me a child. But that dream had shattered and the baby had been lost...leaving me nothing to hold onto...I'd touched my heart's desire, held it, and watched it fade away before my eyes. What was left to me now?
I broke down completely, sinking to the floor in a trembling, sobbing heap. " Why...are...you...doing...this? " I choked the words out between gasping breaths. " Just...let...me...go..."
The next thing I knew he'd crouched down next to me and taken both of my wrists in his hands, " We can't go on like this, " he said very matter-of-factly.
" Then let me go, " I cried trying to pull away from his grasp.
" Face it. You don't really want to go. You never wanted to go. "
" Why can't you understand...? "
" But I do. I do understand, " his voice grew softer, and he moved one hand from my wrist reaching out hesitantly towards my face.
I saw the hurt light in his eyes when I recoiled, and for a moment his hand paused between us. He seemed to be contemplating what he should do next. His expression gave no indication of his thoughts, but seconds later, I felt something come alive inside of me...the faint whisper of a thought...the reassuring feeling of completeness that was so familiar and yet almost forgotten...
And there he was. My fantasy. No longer perfect. No longer the untarnished hero. My eyes could no longer find the unprecedented champion on a pedestal of gold, unassuming and flawless on that dais upon which I'd unknowingly placed him.
No. He was a man. A Saiya-jin warrior driven by instinct to fight but driven by compassion to protect. He'd seen a hundred battles, or more, and each had left a small piece of itself embellished upon his soul...forever. Nothing in the world could ever exorcise those demons he carried; they were a part of him now.
The same instincts that drove him to fight also pushed him to do the things that he had done to me...turned the protector of the frightened and helpless into the remorseless conqueror of flesh and soul. Those things which had left their own permanent scars. How ironic that an act that seemed unforgivably cruel could leave its perpetrator as vulnerable as its victim. I had suffered. He had suffered. The question now was whether we could salvage enough of ourselves to heal the wounds and find some semblance of comfort in the ravaged remains.
" You're right. I don't want to go, " I finally admitted in a trembling whisper.
He'd let down his guard and allowed me to step inside his mind once more. All of the confusion, the doubt, and the pain wrapped itself around my subconscious mingling with my own emotions in that strange inexplicable way, and I welcomed it. After all of this time, I finally knew just how empty I'd been without him, and I knew that with this reminder I would never be able to tolerate living with that void again. Whether or not I wanted this...whether or not he wanted this...it was what had to be. We were powerless to fight something so strong.
With a long, shaking breath I allowed my own barriers to drop trying to force back the overwhelming fear I possessed of sharing those feelings with him. His eyes grew wide as I did so, and I knew immediately that he was taken by the intensity of the emotion there. This was the first time that I had knowingly let him explore my mind, and I was scared. My initial reaction was to shut him out.
" Don't, " he said firmly and sat on the floor next to me.
" But..."
" Sh...it's alright. " When I didn't look convinced, he added, " I promise. "
Reluctantly I stopped fighting it and let go completely. Nothing in our world could have prepared me for the sensation; this ability to know another soul so intricately...to merge two beings so different in nature and not know where one begins and the other ends. In an instant his life had become an open book to me:
*****
They were just children, Trunks and Goten; best friends who played games entirely unlike the other kids their age. Fighting, flying, pushing themselves to the limits of their physical endurance like their fathers had before them. It wasn't always easy being so different, but something in them embraced this way of life...this driving need to be better, fight harder, become stronger...They were two of a kind, and it formed a bond between them that was unbreakable...
*****
An explosive surge of energy, almost painful to bear, but he'd reached Super Saiya-jin...at last! All of the training had finally paid off, and there was no greater reward than the look of pride in Vegeta's eyes...
*****
People were screaming, dying right before his eyes, but he was too injured to move. Goku and Vegeta continued to fight, but things were looking grim. The pain was so terrible...hope fleeting more with every blow exchanged. Gohan was unconscious now, and Goten was trying desperately to get the innocent bystanders to safety. But there were too many...too many to save....
*****
One after another I caught glimpses of his past, his hopes, his dreams...seeing his life through his eyes. I knew almost everything there was to know, including the truth regarding how he felt about me. Through all of the memories and emotions I sought out what I needed to find.
As Trunks realized what I now knew, he made a heartfelt apology, " I'm sorry if it's not what you wanted. "
What I found wasn't love, yet he had to come to care quite deeply for me over the passing months. There was also sexual desire hindered by a lingering sense of guilt and a fear that he'd end up hurting me again. Most importantly, there was a desire to try. A genuine longing to make amends and forge a new path, a new understanding between the two of us that may someday lead to something greater. It was hope, and that was the most promising thing that I could ask for.
" Don't be sorry. It's more than I expected given all that's happened. "
He shook his head laughing just a bit, " How can you be so damn forgiving? "
" I just love you that much. " I don't know what made me say it. He didn't love me. I knew it, yet just then it didn't matter. For some crazy reason, I had to say it out loud. Maybe I just needed to finally come to terms with it.
Suddenly, I became very aware of his close proximity, and the fact that one hand remained loosely wrapped around my wrist made my heart skip a beat. The images of our passion that had haunted my thoughts earlier in the night sparked anew. I blushed furiously quickly catching then releasing his gaze, but no matter how discreet I tried to be at this point, there was no hiding those passing thoughts from his curiosity.
His lips were pressed to mine before I had time to process what was happening, but I willingly complied with every ounce of my being. I reveled in the taste of his mouth and the feel of his body against my own. How often had I dwelled upon the memory of his touch? One mere kiss had me lost in a need that I couldn't control. This was further fueled by the reawakened bond through which I could sense his longing...a desire that increased as his mind slowly shifted into a more instinctual state.
Too soon he pulled back, concern visible in the depths of his eyes. He worried that this was happening for the wrong reasons and that I would come to regret this if it went too far. He fought with his instincts, trying to drive back the urge that pushed him to claim what was rightfully his...the need that had driven him so many months ago. " This isn't right, " he panted backing away.
I reached out and pressed my hand against his chest, " No more charade...no more pretending. "
" But I can't promise... "
I quickly interrupted him, " Then don't. "
That was all he needed to hear. With lightening-quick, nearly imperceptible movements, he'd moved us both to the bed. For a moment he stayed poised above me, slipping the shirt from his body as I admired his masculine beauty in the moonlight. My previous reminiscence was a pale comparison for the exhilaration of being here with him once more. Almost shyly I let my fingertips trail over the taunt muscles of his stomach; my hand then sliding upwards to his chest as he leaned down to capture my mouth again.
Between us, his hands deftly set about loosening the buttons of my night shirt tearing the last few away in their haste. He was holding back, still afraid of frightening or injuring me, and I was touched by the fact that he was trying to be gentle. He drew back slightly, his cerulean eyes searching mine for a timeless instant. The internal battle of his Saiya-jin blood and human conscious reflected plainly in that troubled gaze. He still carried so much guilt, but I wanted him to know that I understood and there was nothing left to be forgiven.
His breath was hot against my lips, his body a heartbeat from my own. The ecstatic rhythm of his pulse pounded beneath my fingertips. Slowly I moved my hand against his neck; a delicious shiver stirred me as my fingers trailed through those cool dark locks.
I could feel his resistance, though it grew increasingly weaker. He was more in control than he'd been before, but in an ironic twist, I was unwilling to allow him any chance of gaining that victory. This was something that we both wanted, and if we were to have any hope of building a life together, he had to relinquish the shame that continued to find harbor within his heart. I leaned up quickly, before my resolve could diminish, and sunk my teeth sharply into the sensitive juncture between his neck and shoulder.
An intense jolt of shock accompanied the guttural moan that escaped my mate. Every muscle in his body tensed as I fell back into the pillows once again. There was only the briefest flicker of doubt in his eyes before he succumbed fully to passion's unrelenting demand. He quickly captured my wrists pinning them firmly above my head with a single hand leaving me a prone and willing servant to his whims.
Trunks leaned in close; his hair brushed across my cheek as he growled suggestively against my ear. I gasped as his teeth grazed a trail along my neck pausing just shy of his mark. He moved slowly, deliberate in this sensual torture, and placed a single kiss at the hollow of my throat. I whimpered softly arching my body against his...relishing every minute sensation from the way his silky strands of hair tickled my heated flesh to the intoxicatingly musky scent of his sweat dampened form. It was like stepping outside of reality into another world...
One leg pressed insistently between my thighs; the cat-and-mouse game of seduction falling short to the need for fulfillment. This lust was like a madness driving us from the inside out, and I held my breath in sweet anticipation as he positioned himself. His entry was sharp and intense like the crack of whip, trembling along that fine line which separates pleasure and pain. It was more than I'd expected, but my sudden cry was lost in the fury of his kiss.
He'd released my hands just then, and I was quick to wrap my arms about his neck clinging desperately to him. Our bodies danced together in perfect rhythm as though we'd consummated our passion a hundred times before, but it was something deeper that moved us. His energy burned in my blood as his hands and his lips seared my flesh eliciting a pleasure that I never knew a being was capable of feeling. The need for release grew like an ocean wave, and he tore his mouth from mine. Even in this heightened state, I knew what he was about to do, and my body trembled at the thought. As the rushing torrent of ecstasy exploded within me, I threw back my head and felt his fangs pierce the mark yet again as his own climax seized him.
I soared at the apex of pleasure for a long moment before slowly beginning to regain my senses. He hadn't moved. I'd opened my eyes to find him looking down at me. I didn't know what to say, or if I should've said anything at all. Leaning down he'd brushed his lips lightly over mine then rolled to one side.
After a few minutes had passed, I looked over at him. The first rays of morning struggled to peek through the blinds giving a grayish light to the room. Hesitantly I curled up next to him and was pleasantly surprised when he rolled towards me and wrapped one arm around my waist. No, it wasn't love, but it was start...
~*~*~*~*~*~
The midday sun was bright even with the blinds to keep it out. I groaned a bit and pulled the blanket up to protect my sensitive eyes from the glare. I was tired and a bit sore from the morning, but that feeling brought an immediate smile to my lips. I quietly recalled every moment of our tryst from the first kiss to falling asleep in his arms.
It was then that I noticed the vacant spot beside me. Perhaps, I thought, he'd just woken earlier and went for something to eat or he'd felt awkward about things and snuck out after I'd dozed off. But no. As I sat up and threw back the covers, I knew something was very very wrong...