Dragon Ball/Z/GT Fan Fiction ❯ Damaged ❯ Aftermath 2 ( Chapter 8 )

Disclaimer: I do not in any way shape or form own DBZ or any of it's characters.(every time I have to say that, I die a little inside…..)

 

AN: okay, I've finally gotten back into the swing of things and wrote another chapter.(^_^; so lazy!). I've answered a(miako6!)request in this chapter(), but not in the way one might think…..It's being told in Vegeta's Pov. Hope it's enjoyed!

 

 

Aftermath 2

 

 

I am a failure…

I've failed my father and my people. My father…

All he had asked of me before he watched me walk away for the last time was that I defeat Freiza and restore honor to Vegeta-sei.

And I couldn't…

I failed because of Kakarot. Had he and those meddlesome friends of his not interfered with my plan, I would have succeeded. I would had gained my immortality and defeated Frieza.

That fool, he—

But I don't mean that. Even as I think that, I am remorseful. I watch him chew carefully, his eyes filling with tears of pain, and I regret.

And yet, I don't stop.

I have moments like this often and yet I do not stop. Moments when my heart shatters for the pain I've caused him and yet I do not stop.

I've always justified my actions one way or the other. Usually, I tell myself that he deserves anything he gets for stealing my glory, hurting my pride.

Yes,t hat's right! The fool, how dare he!

For taking away my right to defeat Frieza…..

Serves him right!

And still…I know I am wrong.

“Vegeta?”

I looked up from my plate and into the bruised face of my mate.

“Is something wrong?” he asked, concern palpable in his voice.

I'm…dying inside.

“What?”

“Nothing, it's just that you were thrashing in your sleep last night and saying odd things.”

I should, I've waited for such a long time to, but it was so hard. So hard to admit my weakness.

“Nothing is wrong.”

You're doing it again…

It didn't seem to be working this time. My voice was too unsure and the situation was too tense now. This was the breaking point.

“Are you sure? I'd like to think you'd tell me if there was something.” His voice was adamant and stronger than it had been in my presence for years.

I stared at him. I was about to deny it again, but suddenly everything came flooding in. Everything I had ever done and endured came forth like a river breaking a shoddy dam. The guilt hit me harder than any enemy ever had.

I gripped the edge of the table so hard that the wood spintered.

`Vegeta?” I heard Kakarot say warily. He seemed so far away…

He stood up and backed away from me. Years of abuse driving a wedge between us that I knew I would have to struggle to cross again.

“No, Kakarott. Everything isn't fine. I can't….”

“What's wrong?”

“I can't get him out!” I cried clutching my head in frustration.

“Who? What are you talking about? Please, explain it to me.”

He ventured a few steps forward, but I overturned the table and sent dishes flying. He backed away again.

: “Frieza!He's still there., laughing, taunting. Every night I dream and he's there!He's dead and I can't rid myself of him!”

“Why didn't you tell me? I could have helped you get through it!” The hurt in his voice made me want to hug him and rip him in two at the same time. However rather than the former, anger was all I knew and so I couldn't contain myself any longer.

“Oh and how the hell would you have done that? Would we have talked about it? Sat down and had a little heart to heart?!! You think if it was that easy I would still be the way I am?!!”

I stood up and stalked toward him. I tried to tell my self—

Stop! It isn't his fault! He was only trying to help you! This isn't how—

“YOU LIVED A SHELTERED LIFE HERE IN THIS MUDBALL!YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT HAPPENED TOF ME! YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT IT WAS LIKE.MY CHILDHOOD, GONE, MY FATHER, GONE, MY HOME, GONE. THAT MONSTER DESTROYED ME!HE TOOK EVERYTHING THAT I HAD! AFTER HE WAS FINISHED, I HAD NOTHING LEFT!!” I screamed at him maniacally.

It wasn't supposed to—

“HE'S DEAD NOW, VEGETA!!IT'S OVER!THINGS COULD CHANGE IF YOU WOULD LET THEM!”

I knew that he was yelling back at me, but I barely noticed. I turned my back to him and looked around the kitchen. Everything was still in order except for the mess on the floor…..

I was so angry. How dare he try to put this on me! He made it sounds so easy, like I could just wake up tomorrow and be a new man. A kind, gentle man. Such was not my nature. This I knew. I had wanted to explain to him calmly, tell him everything, but I had made a mistake. We were both so angry and damaged now that it was nearly impossible for everything to come out softly. Anger and retaliation was all I knew….

“No, Kakarot. It's not over. You ruined…everything!If it hadn't been for your interference, I would have—“

He chuckled through his pain. It was a sad, desperate sound, a cross between laughing and crying. He, too, was breaking from his pain. A demon that I had created.

“You would have what, Vegeta? I'll tell you exactly what you would have done: died like all the rest.”

I whirled around to look at him, eyes wide in disbelief. Was this….my Kakarot? How dare he! I could have killed him where he stood, but I couldn't even move in my shock.

He was crying and smiling at the same time, tears streaming down his cheeks in sad little rivulets. The smile was so twisted and wrong, the smile he gave me when he was in pain and he didn't want me to know.How I wanted to wipe them away and tell him that he didn't have to smile to make me feel better. To take him away from this mess that I'd made. Such a bloody, bloody mess…..

You always hurt the ones you love. It's too late. Too late…

“My `interference” was the only thing that stood between him and universal destruction. I did what I had to do! I had to defeat him because you were too weak to do it!” he spat at me with so much venom that had I not been looking right at him, I would doubt that it was him.

It wasn't supposed to be like this……

And something inside me snapped. This wasn't how it was supposed to go. I was supposed to give him a heartfelt confession and we were supposed to cry and hug and make up and everything would be fine.

But all of our baggage, everything that I had created and sustained over the years all came out in a flurry of rage, and neither of us could deal.

My love, Kakarot……

I loved him more than anything, but I had hurt him so badly. I had created this anger in him and I knew what I had become.

I had become his Frieza. I had become the monster that devoured goodness and spat it back out as darkness. I was the monster.

I can barely remember what happened next, but his words were so spiteful and enraged that I couldn't believe they came from his lips. And I knew I deserved every one of them.

All of his pain…

The next I can remember, I was sitting, cradling his limp body in my arms, my lap sticky with blood. Mine or his, I did not know. He was still breathing, still alive, but barely.

The house was in shambles and Bulma and the others were shouting at me, demanding to know what had happened.

` It was all so wrong. How had I become this…..thing?

“VEGETA, WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?!!!”

I could not deal. I should have told him before. I should have told him before. I should have told him before.

“VEGETA?!!”

The demon smiled and I understood. He did not need to destroy me. I would destroy myself.

Vegeta?

What?

Wake up!

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AN:alrighty, that's the end of chapter 8*cowers away from Miako6.*

Don't beat me up yet! I promise everything will be okay in the end. I'm a sucker for good endings. But first we have to get through all the ugly stuff that often exists when you're dealing with people who've bee emotionally crippled. I promise that It won't be bad forever though! I'm not sure if I want to make this a dream or not,but if I get some feedback about it, I'll use that to decide where to take it for the next chapter. Please review and suggest, it'll make it easier to get the next chapter up in a timely manner. Till next time!