Dragon Ball/Z/GT Fan Fiction ❯ Dark Majik ❯ The Despair ( Chapter 5 )

DISCLAIMER: I do not own DBZ.

~*~ Chapter Five ~*~

Bulma tried not to disturb Marron as she tiptoed inside, smiling as she caught site of her blue haired friend on the couch with Yamcha. Two empty vodka bottles and two shot glasses on the table. Those two were so cute together, they're relationship was so easy and free, neither of them ever seemed to have any hang-ups.

Bulma crept up the stairs and tried not to think about Goku, she quietly went into her bedroom where she locked the door and lent back against it. Slowly sinking to the carpet as everything that had happened to her rushed back into the front of her mind.

Oh God. I slept with the Devil! How could I have been so stupid! Bulma rubbed her temples as she staggered back to her feet and made her way unsteadily into the bathroom. She flicked on the light, wincing as the light made her eyes burn and itch. Bulma turned on the shower and slowly undressed herself, wincing every time she saw another bruise or bite mark unveiled on her body. She tossed her clothes into the laundry basket and then slipped under the hot water with a thankful sigh.

How could she be an angel who was hidden on Earth? It was preposterous! She'd never behaved in the least bit angelic in her life! As a child she'd always been in constant trouble, and as a teenager her parents had despaired of her.

Bulma rubbed herself with a soapy cloth, scrubbing hard as she tried to rid herself of his scent. She shivered against her will; she could still remember the way his hands had moved over her body, how they had caressed her as though she were the most precious thing in the world to him. Which, Bulma supposed, to him she was.

She lent back against the tiled wall of the shower and let herself relax with a sigh. He had been a terrific lover - very rough, but then that was how Bulma liked it. She could almost feel his hands moving over her, touching her in those intimate spots…

Wait a minute! She could feel hands moving on her!

Bulma's eyes flew open and she started to scream as she saw Goku in front of her. He clamped a hand over her mouth and pulled her closer to him, a grim little smile on his face.

"Sssh! You don't want to wake up your little friends, do you?" He grinned and licked some water off the side of her face. He relaxed his grip on her body and took his hand off her mouth. "It would be a little hard to explain who I am you know." He trailed a hand down her body and Bulma fought the urge to scream.

"What on earth are you doing here? How did you get in?" Bulma spoke in a whisper, hardly believing her eyes. "I nearly died when you I realised someone was in here with me." Against her will Bulma gazed at his body. He chest was muscled and perfect and droplets of water had landed on their. Bulma had the oddest urge to lean down and lick the water off him, but she resisted.

Goku looked annoyed at her questions. "I'm the devil! How do you think I got in here? I transported myself! It isn't hard! Any devil worthy of the name can transport themself to a desired destination." He shook his head and a shower of droplets landed on Bulma. He grinned wickedly and lent down to kiss her. "You didn't really think I'd just let you walk away from em did you? I need you Bulma, I'd kill for you." His voice had roughened again and he looped gentle arms around her.

"Oh God! This is like some kind of horrible dream where no matter where you run or hide the monster knows where you are." Bulma pulled out of his arms and sagged against the tiled wall, the fight leaving her body as she finally realised just how obsessed Goku was.

"I know." Gou nodded sympathetically. "But there's nothing you can do to get rid of me, I'm never leaving you again." He moved closer and pulled her against him, nibbling on her ear seductively. "Besides, you know you want me." His voice was gently persuasive and it was only with an effort that Bulma managed to open her eyes again, terrified that if she shut them she might wake up in hell.

He's evil, don't listen to him…don't even look at him… Bulma opened her eyes again, following her inner voices warning and looked at Goku, meeting his shadowed gaze.

"Why won't you leave me alone?" She tried to push him away half heartedly.

"Because I love you and I need you…" Goku trailed off and knelt down and put his ear to her stomach as if listening to something. "…and I don't want you harming my son." He looked up and grinned ferociously at her, his eyes flashing with victory as he detected the life source burning inside of her.

"No!" Bulma pulled away, her eyes wide and wild. "I'm not pregnant! You're lying." She backed into the corner of the shower cubicle, her breathing ragged from fear. "I can't be!" She wrapped arms around herself and tried to still her shaking.

"It's okay to be scared." Goku gently pulled her back into his arms. "I know how hard it can be to accept these things." His chest was firm and solid and Bulma gave into the urge to collapse against him.

"No, oh please God no!" Bulma began to sob quietly on Goku's shoulder, holding on to him as if he were the last precious thing in her world. It was disturbing how much she craved him…and she'd only just met him.

This need for him was like a sickness.

"Its okay, I'm here for you." Goku smiled to himself, everything was going as he had hoped. Still, he reflected, he hoped she cheered up. He did love her and did care for her - he didn't want her getting depressed and harming herself of the baby. He'd waited too long to be back in her arms again, to be loved by her again. He needed her so badly.

He tilted her face up and kissed her, mildly surprised when she kissed him back almost urgently. It still surprised Goku how humans reacted when they were in shock. They always seemed to turn needier and more fickle.

A wicked gleam descended into Goku's eyes and he mentally shrugged. If she was so needy for comfort, there wasn't any reason not to give it to her. Goku pushed Bulma up against the shower wall and ground his body into hers, getting a moan of pleasure for his troubles. He lifted her off the floor and Bulma wrapped her legs around his waist, taking his already swollen member inside of her and moaning softly, her head thrown back in abandon.

He pressed her up against the shower wall for support and began to drive himself into her again and again. Bulma was wildly responsive in his arm, driving him on with small cries. Goku sunk his teeth into her neck and began to lap up her blood as he made love to her; nothing was better then sex and blood.

God, how he'd missed her…

"Jesus!" Bulma sobbed, she didn't know what Goku was doing to her neck but it felt good! So good! She tightened her legs around his waist as she felt herself come, holding onto Goku as if she were on some kind of dangerous roller coaster.

Goku slammed her into the wall once more as he came, then he slowly he sank to the floor, his legs unable to support him any longer. He made sure Bulma was comfortable in his arms then tried to catch his breath and stabilise his power level.

"Oh…God…what's wrong…with me? You're…evil." Bulma asked in a distraught voice in between gasps of breath. Her head was resting again the tiled wall and her eyes were closed.

Goku shrugged and answered her in bursts of speech between his own pants. "I…guess I just…have that effect…on you…Bulma." He lent his head on her shoulder kissed her. Taking a deep breath he managed to force himself to speak again. "Sorry if I hurt you, I was little rough."

Goku felt his power shudder and realised with a shock that he was about to change into his demonic form. He tried once more to bring himself under control but he'd used up more energy then he'd though transporting himself over here straight after scaring her in the club. He was powerful here on Earth but his power was not limitless on this plane as it was in the underworld.

"Christ Bulma! Whatever you do don't look at me!" Goku gritted his teeth as he felt horns come though the top of his head. He prayed that Bulma wouldn't see him and freak out, but he could already feel her lifting her head to see what was wrong…

~*~

Bulma sat on the edge of her bed and stared ahead with glassy, dull eyes. The world around her seemed to be in black and white with the sound dulled. Her heartbeat thudded loudly in her ears, but everything else was silent. It was as if nothing outside of her room existed. Everything was silent. She couldn't even hear the usual buzz of traffic from the highway near her house.

Her azure blue eyes were unfocused as she stared at the wall. Sitting so stiffly and so motionless that one could have been forgiven for thinking her a statue.

But although Bulma was miles away, she was very much alive.

"You can't hide forever Bulma. Sooner or later reality will demand a reign check." Goku stood staring out the window and although he had spoken he did not turn around, he simply stared out at nothing, his red eyes unfocused, as he wished with all his being to be an angel again. He knew that Bulma would snap out of her trance sooner or later, it was just a matter of time before she faced the truth.

"You should have told me what you were underneath. You shouldn't have hidden what you were from me." Bulma's voice was halting, quiet and seemed to lack an essence of reality; it was as if her voice was felt rather then heard, as if she was shouting to him from a distance.

Goku turned slightly and looked at the woman who sat on the bed facing the opposite wall, his black eyes regretful.

If only she hadn't seen what I am…

******

Goku had felt the change rush over him in the shower, it had come pouring across his skin like fire and, like fire, it had burnt away all outward traces of his humanity. He didn't changed fully, he never did, but he changed enough to be recognisable for what he was; a demon.

And of course Bulma had looked at him, warning her not to look had been a stupid thing to do. Like telling people not to look down when they're rock climbing. She hadn't looked horrified; fearful perhaps, curious maybe but mostly shocked and hurt.

They had stared at each other for what seemed like hours but what must have been minutes. Goku had been prepared for shock and fear but not for the hurt that had shone from her eyes like a beacon. He couldn't see why she should have looked hurt, it was her he had been trying to protect by hiding his inner ugliness.

But Bulma hadn't seen it like that.

She had only seen a lie.

A lie that had red skin and eyes, black horns and a snake like tail.

Bulma had reached up a shaky hand to his face and had traced his red skin with gentle but disbelieving hands. Amazingly, despite the shock and hurt, Bulma had felt the need to laugh. A hysterical laugh had bubbled out of her throat before she coked it off. She knew it was shock, real shock setting it but she couldn't help but on wonder where his pitch fork was; the devil always had a pitchfork didn't he?

With her mind swallowed up in shock Bulma had untangled herself from him and had dressed and gone to sit on her bed, her wet hair dripping down her back and dampening her clothes. But she didn't care; she didn't care about anything any more…

******

She had been there for hours now, staring at the wall with those empty eyes that scared Goku more then the wrath of Goku had all those years ago when he had been cast out of heaven.

For Bulma the world had lost its lustre; it had lost the basic element that had always kept her going - hope.

It wasn't just that Goku was really a red skinned Devil, it was many things. Things that, as she watched the shadows creep across her wall, flashed through her mind to torment her.

Life was cruel. It had never been fair before, but it had never seemed this ugly either. She could have lived with Goku in his true form had she not been pregnant with the antichrist, or alternatively she could have lived with being pregnant with the antichrist had she not seen Goku in his real form, but together they seemed too much.

Reality seemed too far gone to ever come back.

It was like being trapped in her own personal nightmare and not being able to wake.

"Nightmares always end; everybody always wakes up - even those who never sleep." Goku's voice was closer to Bulma then it should have been and she shivered as she realised he had read her mind again. It was another reminder of how alien he was to her, how inhuman he truly was.

Bulma turned her head to glance at him. Goku stood next to her, his eyes, back to the endless black colour they had been when she had first saw them, watched her with worry etched deeply into them.

"No Goku, not all people wake up." Bulma was surprised she could speak, the sound of her own voice shocked her and the outside world came crashing through the barriers she had put up against it. Sound returned and the world outside Bulma's bedroom existed again. "But I will."

~*~

"You should have just shown me what you were. I probably wouldn't have freaked out as much if I'd had some warning." Goku and Bulma sat together on her bedroom floor. Goku had one arm looped about her, as though afraid she would slip back into shock again.

"You didn't freak out." Goku tried to sound normal and calming. He gave her a smile, a very happy smile and was rewarded when she didn't look away and instead returned it with a small smile of her own. He was making progress with her; she was starting to accept what he was and how she felt about him - but he still had a long way to go with her yet.

"I did freak out, Goku. I almost let myself convince I was dreaming. That's freaking out in any book." Bulma watched a bird fly past the window. "Why didn't you just show me what you were?" There was just the tiniest not of hurt and betrayal in her voice and Goku sighed, troubled by her lack of faith in him.

"Because I didn't want you to scream and rant and rave about how ugly and evil I was." Goku looked away, ashamed by his need to be accepted by Bulma, ashamed of his weakness. "I wish I could be an angel for you. I wish I could even be more human for you…"

Bulma laughed suddenly, interrupting him. "If you were a human you'd be like any other normal person and I wouldn't look twice at you." She smiled again, more relaxed in Goku's presence now. "And you're not ugly in your demonic form. Actually you're actually kind of sexy in a certain light. You are evil but I think I can handle that. Part of me is attracted to you on a level which I can't fight."

"Really?" Goku sat up straighter. Perhaps she had more faith in him then he had thought…

"Yeah. You said you've been watching me for a while now, well then, you must have seen that I can't commit to guys. I even dated Vegeta once - I though he'd be the one. But although he was different to other guys he wasn't what I wanted. I've been feeling so alone my whole life, like I was missing something. And I think I may have found what I wanted in you." Bulma looked sadly down at her hands. "I never understood why I didn't like guys, but I do now. I guess I was always searching for something different, something that only somebody like you could give me." Bulma looked up and met his dark eyes, her soul jerking as it recognized it's other half.

"You wanted somebody like you, that's all." Goku's voice sounded reasonable, hiding his turbulent inner feelings as he felt himself being tugged in Bulma's direction by something inside of him. "I may be your opposite but we're more alike then any two humans will be."

"That makes no sense!" Bulma looked up quizzically. "How can opposites be the same?"

"It makes perfect sense!" Goku looked insulted, but he had a teasing light in his eyes. "Positive and negative are the same, only opposite! We're like that, we're going to attract because even though we're different in every way were still a mirror image of each other." He smiled charmingly, knowing that Bulma probably hadn't understood a word he'd said.

"I get it." Bulma shook her head and Goku grinned, knowing she was lying. "Well I don't actually, but you're getting into reality and that was never a strong point of mine."

"Understandably, we're opposite and I always loved reality." Goku crept closer and pulled her into his arms, hugging her close. "I know how to explain it to you! We're like positive and negative magnets! We're draw to each other but repelled by our own kind! That's why we're attracted to each other!" Goku pulled back and looked triumphant.

Bulma laughed at his boyish behaviour. "Okay, I get it." She stretched and stood up yawning. "I guess I should eat something, are you hungry?"

"Starving." Goku eyes feasted on Bulma and he reluctantly got to his feet, running a hand through his hair.

"What do you like eating?"

"Apart from souls?" Goku joked lamely as she led him towards the kitchen. "Anything! I eat heaps so anything will do."

"Shouldn't be a problem." Bulma's mouth quirked. "You'd be surprised how much Vegeta and Yamcha eat. They never gain a pound but they almost constantly eat, I swear it's unnatural!" Bulma walked into the kitchen and yelped; sitting at the table was Marron, Yamcha and Vegeta.

She never heard Goku murmur: "I know."

"Well speak of the devil." Vegeta muttered as they joined them at the table. Both Goku and Bulma froze until Vegeta continued. "We were just talking about you Bulma." Vegeta continued to eat, not having noticed their odd behaviour.

"Oh? Really?" Bulma laughed nervously. She frowned warningly at Goku who looked like he was trying not to burst out laughing. She kicked him under the table and he sobered up, looking around with a serious look as she introduced him. "This is my friend Goku."

"Hiya Goku!" Marron chirped. "Say, didn't I see you at the nightclub?" She battered her eyelashes at Goku.

"Yeah, I own it." Goku grinned back, evidently enjoying how uncomfortable Bulma was with his behaviour.

"Really?" Yamcha looked interested. "And you came home with Bulma? Wow." His tone turned sarcastic and Bulma perked up, aware she was being insulted.

"Hey!" Bulma slapped at him from across the table. "You jerk!"

Vegeta was silent; he gazed from Bulma to Goku and then back again, trying to analyse the feeling that was bubbling inside of him and screaming a warning. "You know, you look kind of familiar Goku. Have we met before?" He watched Goku intently, waiting for his reaction.

Goku looked at him tensely, schooling his features into a pleasant expression. "I don't think so." But when he'd finished speaking he bit out a smile that didn't look happy or polite at all and Vegeta looked back with the same smile on his face.

Bulma looked from Goku to Vegeta and realised something; they look so alike…

~*~

A/N - "Nightmares always end; everybody always wakes up - even those who never sleep." I dreamt that line, pretty neat huh? I seem to get a lot of my ideas for this story from my dreams don't I? Anyhow, please review!