Dragon Ball/Z/GT Fan Fiction ❯ Dbz-What the Hell Happened ❯ Dbz-What the Hell Happened ( Chapter 1 )

Hello everybody this fic is going to tell you what the characters are going to be like in my future fics because I have been gone for so long I have wrote a couple fics.

Grandpa Gohan:The nice men with shiny guns have brought me here to tell you all a story...y'know guys...i cant talk with you poking me like that.

Bubba in a suit:Just talk Gramps...or you know the punishment...

Grandmpa:Ok...basically i'm here to explain why most DBZ characters are the way they are...portrayed in Hamtaro's fics at least...with Gohan and Piccolo it all started at a funeral....

*scene fades to funeral parlor*

Gohan:So sorry to hear about your father....

Piccolo:But its all my fault...if he never had spit me out...he wouldn't be dead

Gohan:Its ok...lets go get some cookies

Piccolo:Ok...

*2 hours later*

Gohan:God damn you eat a lot....

Piccolo:I eat because i'm sad...and i'm sad because i eat...its a vicious neverending cycle

Gohan:OH SHIT...ITS PAST CLOSING HOUR...WE'RE LOCKED IN!!!!

Piccolo:So this means your not a necrophiliac?

Gohan:EWWW OF COURSE NOT!

Piccolo:Oh i thought you were...

Gohan:DUDE SICK!

Piccolo:Well we're stuck...better make the best of it...*gets naked*

Gohan:WHAT IN THE SWEET NAME OF JESUS ARE YOU DOING?

Piccolo:Well i'm gay...and i thought you were too...

Gohan:WHAT THE FRACKING HELL...I'M NOT GAY!!! if Videl was here...i'd show ya...

Piccolo:Sure, sure...but ya know....they shut the heat off in here...its gonna get cold...you know how to stay warm?

Gohan:Not sure i want to know...

Piccolo:GET NAKED AND CUDDLE!!!!!!

Gohan:OK LET ME OUT OF HERE!!! *runs into door and knocks himself out*

Piccolo:*giggles* Even easier....

*in the morning*

Gohan:*wakes up groggily* Wha...where...fuck....where am I? AND WHERE THE HELL ARE MY CLOTHES!

Piccolo:I burned 'em...cuz with me...you'll never need them again!

Gohan:OH DUDE SICK!!! *runs through glass door* AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Goku:Uh...Son?

Gohan:Hi dad....

Goku:Wheres your clothes?

Gohan:Its a long story...but Piccolo has them

Goku:OMG!!! MY SON IS GAY...*shouts* EVERYBODY...GOHAN IS A FLAMER!!!

Gohan:DAMMIT DAD!!!!

Chi-Chi:WHAT??!!! *faints*

Gohan:Oh crap....

*scene goes back to Grandpa Gohan*

Grandpa:So you see how it all started...wasn't Gohans fault...he go sucked..*lol*..into gayness by Piccolo...now next to Vegeta...on why he is soooooooooo impotent...it all started at a wedding...

*scene fades to Vegetas bedroom*

Bulma:Hey lover-buns...time to get up!

Vegeta:God i loving being so virile....and how are you still walking after last night?

Bulma:I dont know...

Trunks:What was that loud noise i heard last night?

Vegeta: That was just your mother falling down the stairs...

Bulma:*giggles* Yah...and i can hardly walk now...

Vegeta:So whats on the docket for the day?

Bulma:Gohan and Piccolos wedding...

Vegeta:AHH DAMMIT!!!!

Bulma:But its food and booze and you can diss Goku and his gayass son

Vegeta:Yah...he is marrying a guy after all

Trunks:Uh Pops..Nameks are asexual...

Vegeta:YOUR STILL HERE?

Trunks:Yah...

Vegeta:WELL GO AWAY!!!

Trunks:Fine fine...damn

Bulma:We better get going...

*at the wedding*

Vegeta:Da...Da..Dammit Kakk...Kakkarot...i i...'ll drink your ass...un...under the table

Goku:The...the hell...you willl.

Bulma:So how many drinks has it been?

Chi-Chi:I dont know...they never thought us numbers that high in school

Goku:Just one...one more *takes shot and passes out*

Vegeta:YES...I WIN...I PITY DA' FOOL! *passes out*

Bulma and Chi-Chi:Oh christ...

Chi-Chi:NOOOOOOOOOOO GOKU CANT AFFORD TO LOSE ANYMORE BRAIN CELLS!

*at home*

Vegeta:Where am I?

Bulma:Your at home...you drank yourself unconscious...

Vegeta:Did I beat Kakkarot?

Bulma:Ya

Vegeta:YES...I AM A GLORIOUS MAN!

Bulma:Yah...glorious in the sack

*5 mins later*

Bulma:Vegeta....is it supposed to be this soft?

Vegeta:I...I dont know

Bulma:It was all that liquor...you've done drunken yourself impotent!

Vegeta:NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO...MY SUPER SPERM IS NO MORE!!!!!!!!

Bulma:No sibling for Trunks...

Trunks:Say what?

Vegeta:GO AWAY!!! *throws brick at him*

Trunks:Oh...pretty waves...*passes out*

Vegeta: I need help...

Grandpa Gohan:So you see....Vegeta brought the whole problem on himself...what a moron....the storie move next onto Goten and Trunks...on why they are such fucked up stoners

*scene fades to Capsule Corps*

Dr Briefs:Hey Trunks...i'm testing a new drug...its called Marijuana

Trunks:Man...i've seen Half-Bakes 1,783 times and mary jane is like 280 years old

Dr.Briefs:Oh shut up...do you want some reefer or not?

Goten:WHO SAID REEFER!

Trunks:Your mom said reefer!

Goten:Mom? Mom? where are you mom?

Dr Briefs:Yah...so you guys want to me in my experiment or not?

Goten and Trunks:HELL YAH!!!

Dr. Briefs:OK...this new blend is called Maui-Wowie laced with some shizat!

Trunks:Interesting name...come up with it all by yourself?

Dr Briefs:Fuck off sonny boy

Goten:Goten's gonna get some reefer, gotens gonna get some reefer...gotens gonna...*slapped by Trunks*

Trunks:Dude, shut up!...my dad might hear us

Vegeta:No...no...no...WHY WONT IT WORK!!!!

Gotens:Whats "It"?

Trunks:You dont wanna know...

Goten:OH...BUT I DO!!!

Trunks:*whispers in Gotens ear* Its his tiny pecker...

Goten:Dude...did he break it or something?

Trunk:Yah...something like that...

Goten:Thats wrong as hell

Dr Briefs:Alright boys time to go into the small dark room with me!

Gohan:YAY...DARK ROOM!!!

Trunks:The hell...what is this fag doing here?

Gohan:I wanna smoke weed...

Goten:Shut up foo...you just wanna get some gay loving from Piccolo!

Piccolo:*eating cheese danish* Huh?

Gohan:No...i'm not gay...

Dr Briefs:DAMMIT PICCOLO...STOP EATING BREAKFAST HERE...YOUR KIND IS NOT WELCOME!

*sees Dende walk by*

Dr Briefs:Hi Dende....Danish?

Dende:Oh thank you

Piccolo:Whatever...*walks out with a full cart of breakfast pastries*

Dr Briefs:Whats up his ass?

Trunks:Probably Gohan

Goten:Yah

Dende:Uh huh..

Dr Breifs: Yah i'd have to agree with you

Trunks:So wheres the weed?

Dr Briefs:What weed?

Goten:WHAT...NO WEED!!! *cries*

Dr.Briefs:OH WEED...i thought you said Sam Sneed...

Goten:And i thought my dad was stupid...

Trunks and Dr. Briefs:HE IS!!!

Goten:Oh yah...

Trunks:JUST GIVE US THE POT FOR CHRIST'S SAKE!

Dr Briefs:Naw...your much too young...

Vegeta:*hits the Dr. over the head with a frying pan*

Goten:Woah...

Trunks:DAD?! why are you wearing moms apron?

Vegeta:Well i needed camo to sneak up on grandpa...

Trunks:Oh ok...i thought you were being gay

Vegeta:NOT AT ALL!

Goten:WHATS ALL THE CHIT-CHAT...LETS TOKE UP!

Vegeta and Trunks:HELL YAH

Grandpa Gohan:So you see how the two little bastards became hooked....well thats it...times up...go the hell home......oh and the reason Goku is so stupid is one of those really huge fish fucked him in the ear....it messed up his brain real bad...

*the end*