Dragon Ball/Z/GT Fan Fiction ❯ Deep Circle ❯ Part 20 ( Chapter 20 )

Hello, Nekoni! OMG, you made my day! - You don't care who is uke and who's seme?! I found another like-minded person! Hurray! Sure I have my preferences too, but you don't care who's uke and who's seme because I don't put so much attention to this stupid seme/uke thing. You don't feel opposed to it. Most authors have that their chronic attitude as to which of them should be uke and who seme and convey their opinion to the readers.

 

Hello, NINAnEnA! You do know what “Write Review” means, don't you? I'm not going to read any socks, so don't pester me.

 

 

Deep Circle by chayron (lttomb@yahoo.com) (beta-read by achillona)

 

Disclaimer: I don't own DBZ. I'm not making any money.

Warnings: Yaoi (male x male). Goku x Vegeta.

 

Part 20

 

Vegeta was unhappy. Incredibly busy, tired, confused and unhappy. He and Goku almost didn't have any time to sit and spend together: after the Earth joined the war all the meetings and planning started anew. There were three days left until the Earth's commander and its troops would land on Vegetasei. Now Vegeta saw Goku only while having breakfast or while meeting Goku to tell what was decided in the Meeting Hall. And to tell the truth Vegeta himself was afraid to spend more time with Goku, he avoided Goku to some extent. The prince was confused. The feeling of regret and sorrow were painfully nagging at his chest.

 

XXXXX

 

“What the hell is this?” Kamala pointed at Vegeta's hand, stopping in his tracks. He had been walking to the kitchen to have breakfast as he saw Vegeta coming.

 

Vegeta gave him a bit of an unsure look. “Flowers it seems…” he weighed the bouquet in his hand, a bit confused. He halted on his way too.

 

Kamala just looked at Vegeta with his brows raised.

 

“Don't ask,” Vegeta shrugged. “I just found them in my room after I woke up. The guard said that Goku had left them.”

 

“Flowers?” Kamala blinked. “Why the hell do you need them?”

 

“Have no idea,” Vegeta observed the bunch of flowers again. “Maybe it's some sort of custom… What color it is? It seems lilac…” he looked closer. “Goku said my son's hair in that world is lavender. Maybe this has something do with that…”

 

Kamala just shrugged, proceeding to the kitchen.

 

“Morning,” Goku purred as soon as he saw Vegeta enter the kitchen. “Thought I'd do something nice,” he smiled seeing his flowers in Vegeta's hand.

 

“Hn,” Vegeta scratched his chin, looking at the flowers then again at Goku. He sat up next to Kamala not saying anything at first. “Err… thanks…” he put the flowers next to him on the table, thinking that it would be nice if Goku explained what to do with them.

 

“Sir, might I suggest placing them in water?” Alarn asked Vegeta, bowing his head.

 

Vegeta looked at Goku unsure.

 

“Oh,” Goku suddenly understood. He laughed. “Sorry, I just thought it's the same everywhere…” he smiled at confused Vegeta. “I mean…” Goku scratched his head. “Well, we give flowers to a person whom we like… It's like a sign of affection.”

 

“Oooh,” Vegeta blinked. Suddenly he felt miserable, suddenly he even wanted to get away from there. He didn't want these flowers. No, he wanted them, but… He wanted, oh how he wanted them, but he just couldn't accept them. “New armor would have done just fine,” he snorted, finally setting his feelings in order. “You completely ruined that one.” Vegeta dug into his food, noticing look of hurt on Goku's face, and he cursed his fate for doing this to them both.

 

“Sir?” the cook pointed at the flowers. “What does your Highness wish to do with them?”

 

Vegeta shrugged, not daring to look at Goku's face. “Put them somewhere.”

 

For the first time in his life Goku ate his food completely silent. Goku was hurt. Until this time he was sure that everything in his relationship with Vegeta was more or less normal: they just started something more serious and therefore Goku wasn't very concerned about sudden lack of affection from Vegeta's side these past few days; he was sure that Vegeta was busy dealing with the new situation on the front. But now he felt confused: Vegeta deliberately was cold and even showed him that he didn't care about his affection. Goku was afraid to think about it, but it was suggesting only one thing - Vegeta changed his mind about him. And Vegeta was sitting next to Kamala again and the prince didn't even look at his side. He was sure that Vegeta was busy, but maybe the lack of time had nothing to do with that?

 

Goku felt a lump in his throat gathering. He couldn't understand what Vegeta was doing. It seemed that Vegeta was toying with him. Had Vegeta been playing with him all this time? Vegeta probably had plenty lovers and propositions, what would one more fool mean with a broken heart? Maybe Vegeta had been just amusing himself, while he was pouring his feelings out to Vegeta. What if Vegeta had been playing some sick game with him? Vegeta could be like that. He maybe was in love with Vegeta, but he was not blind to who Vegeta was. Vegeta knew how to manipulate people, how to make them do what he wanted. He was useful to Vegeta when Vegeta needed his power, but now, when they had that pact with the Earth…

 

Goku frantically rubbed his forehead, forgetting his food. Now he was afraid and lost and he couldn't believe that he never thought about that earlier. It was so obvious! Vegeta had manipulated him, and Kamala had helped. What a nice pair! He had been blind: he wanted this all to be true so much so, that he didn't even think that Vegeta could do that to him. But the truth was that Vegeta was Vegeta and Vegeta he knew would never think about a third-class. What a fool! Jesus Christ, probably this world had never seen a bigger idiot than him! To fall for that so easily…like a stupid schoolgirl in love with some pop star…

 

“Goku, are you alright?” Kamala observed Goku who had stopped eating for three minutes and had a look of horror on his face.

 

Goku tried to calm himself down. He'd be damned if he showed them that they hurt him. He had been an object of amusement long enough… “Yeah, I'm fine,” he shrugged. “I just can't wait `til Bulma comes here and I'll go back to Earth.”

 

Vegeta gripped his spoon tighter. “Bulma?” he asked.

 

“That Earth leader,” Goku shrugged nonchalantly again. “Did I forget to mention that? Oh, sorry. I thought I did. I recognized her from the video. She is my childhood friend,” Goku savored the look on Vegeta's face. He didn't tell about Bulma before because he thought he would make a surprise for Vegeta, but now he used that to make a different kind of surprise. “I'd talk with her and I think she would really agree to help me out. She's really into that sort of thing.”

 

“You know the Earth's leader?” Kamala just blinked at Goku. “Some thing to forget…” he muttered.

 

“Oh, and yeah,” Goku looked at Vegeta, “she's your wife back there.”

 

Vegeta's eyes widened even more if that was possible. “That blue-haired monster?!”

 

Goku snorted at Vegeta. “Actually I find her a very attractive woman. And that other Vegeta had much better taste than you.”

 

Vegeta was great deal disturbed by Goku's tone. He felt lost now. That was what he wanted, but it felt horrible. Goku was talking about staying on the Earth. At first Goku only said that he needed something on the Earth, but now he was talking about staying there. He didn't want that. He thought that it would better if Goku went to the Earth, but he didn't really want that, he was afraid of that.

 

“So you could speak with her in Terran?” Kamala mused. “That might be useful.”

 

Goku grit his teeth in sudden fury. “I'm not as good at sly and twisted speeches as you…” he spat at Kamala.

 

Kamala cocked his head to the side. “Goku, are you angry with me for some reason? There's no need dropping hints.”

 

Goku stood up and took his dishes with him to the sink. He had no wish to speak with them.

 

XXXXX

 

“Hi,” Goku greeted when Radditz opened the door. “Can I come in?”

 

“Sure,” Radditz nodded. He opened the door wider and stepped aside, letting Goku pass.

 

“Hi,” Raaven nodded when he saw Goku entering the room. He shifted on the sofa, hiding his face.

 

“Am I here at a bad time?” Goku was disturbed and stopped at the door unsure when he noticed Raaven's tear-stained face. He then looked back at Radditz when Raaven didn't say anything.

 

“No,” Radditz shook his head. “We just had a bit of an argument. It's alright now.” Then Radditz grinned widely. “You can congratulate us - Raaven is pregnant.”

 

“But that's great!” Goku grinned back at Radditz. “So why the argument?” he turned to Raaven, who didn't seem to be very happy.

 

“Moron thought that I'd be upset about it…” Radditz snorted, motioning for Goku to go further into the flat. “We just had to clear up a few things.”

 

“Oh,” Goku sat down at the table. He observed Raaven again. “But it's alright now. I mean it should be: the Earth joined us and stuff…” Goku just waved off after it was clear that Raaven didn't want to talk about that. “But I thought you said that you're going to get Radditz first,” he smiled hoping to brighten the mood.

 

Raaven's nose crunched then he glared at his mate. “If someone had been more careful…”

 

Radditz rolled his eyes. He plopped down next to Goku. “Like I did that on purpose…”

 

Goku cleared his throat, hoping that both Saiyans wouldn't start to look for guilt now. “Forget that, Raaven. I'm sure Radditz didn't want to upset you. You both should be happy now; it's nothing to be upset about. Besides, you can get him the next time,” he winked at Raaven.

 

“Next time?” Raaven wailed. “No next time… It's enough one…”

 

Radditz went to his mate. He brushed over Raaven's hair then pulled Raaven to his chest. “If you want, you can get me twice, no thrice pregnant later,” he smiled into Raaven's hair. “Goku is right - it's a good thing, we should be happy.”

 

Raaven leaned his head on Radditz's shoulder. “I know. I was just afraid that…”

 

“No, I'm very content.” Radditz chuckled. “I didn't plan that, but I'm very content.” He brushed Raaven's side, trying to calm his mate down.

 

Goku watched his brother murmur soothingly into Raaven's ear. Raaven shifted in Radditz's embrace, turned around and answered something softly then snuggled closer to Radditz's chest. Radditz smiled at that and brushed over Raaven's dark hair, purring softly. Goku thought if they both even realized how happy they were to have each other. Then Goku noticed Raaven's eyes close and after some time it was clear that Raaven was fast asleep.

 

Radditz sighed, picking up Raaven. He carried him into the bedroom and left him sleep. “Gods, how he scared me…” Radditz shook his head, heaving a long sigh after coming back from the bedroom and sitting down opposite Goku. After Goku's questioning look he explained, “These past few nights he didn't sleep at home. After I went looking after him the first night, I found him in the bar just around the corner. He was completely sloshed and having a fight with some guy. It was no point in talking with him while in that state, so I just took him home. In the morning he was gone again. He came back late in the evening. After I asked where he had been, he told me that he had been to see Kamala. But I knew that it wasn't true, because you had been here several hours earlier and when I asked if you had seen Raaven, you said that you hadn't.

 

“The whole night he spent crying. After I asked what was wrong, he almost attacked me. And last night he was gone again. I overturned half of the city until I finally found him in some shabby bar. He was so drunk that he was barely conscious. When morning came I finally found out what it was all about. But in what way…” Radditz rubbed his forehead, heaving a severe sigh. “First he told he was leaving me, then he said later that I didn't need to worry about the child because he would take care of him. Needless to say I got a bit frenzied…” he shook his head. “If he weren't pregnant, I'd have just…grr…” he snorted. “I just wanted to give him a good licking! For fuck's sake, I have mated him! Can't believe he thought I'd leave him. I have never objected against children, what the fuck came over him?!”

 

“He just got confused and scared,” Goku said. “It's a big change.” It was clear that Raaven didn't completely trust Radditz as his partner and mate, but Goku didn't think it would do any good telling that to Radditz, besides, Radditz wasn't stupid, he knew that himself. But there was another thing that confused Goku - that story, it was somehow…familiar. Goku couldn't understand how it could be familiar, but it was.

 

“So…” Radditz broke the silence after five minutes. “And how about you? How is that thing with Prince Vegeta? Still pretending to be hard to get?” he chuckled.

 

Goku just snorted in anger. “Not anymore. Now he pretends that nothing ever happened.”

 

Radditz gave Goku a confused look. “How is that?”

 

Goku waved off. “Doesn't matter. I actually wanted to ask Raaven some things about Kamala and Vegeta but…” he motioned to the bedroom where Raaven was sleeping.

 

“What happened, Goku?” Radditz asked. “You seem to be really upset…”

 

Goku just sighed lowering his head to look at the smooth table surface. “It's just that I have been such a fool all this time…” he raked his fingers over his spiky hair. Goku raised his head and saw Radditz encouraging him to speak. “Well, I mean, it was so obvious… It's my own fault for falling for that…” he sighed again.

 

“For fuck's sake, Goku, what are you're talking about?” Radditz got nervous, as Goku didn't say anything more.

 

“About Vegeta,” Goku looked at his shaking hands. “There never was anything between us. He fooled me, Radditz. He and Kamala. While I was useful to have, Vegeta let me jump around making a fool of myself. Now, when he doesn't need me anymore, he doesn't even talk with me, he doesn't need his toy anymore. But the sickening part is that I fell for it. I always knew what Vegeta is capable of doing, what a manipulating bastard he is but… And Kamala… Hell, that pair is priceless. Kamala sweet-talked me, and I fell for it. I just wanted it all to be true. Hell, I always suspected that there was something between them… That jealousy-thing Vegeta has for him… Oh, well,” Goku waved off, “doesn't matter anymore.”

 

Radditz gazed at Goku for some time. “That's the biggest crock of bullshit I have ever heard. Prince Vegeta and Kamala aren't lovers. It's impossible. Prince Vegeta just takes care of him. Kamala is always in trouble…”

 

“Good trouble…” Goku hissed. “You know, I think Raaven doesn't know much about his `angelic' brother… Do you know that Kamala sleeps in Vegeta's chambers? Or do you know how Vegeta is jealous about him? Or do you know what games they play during their spars?” Goku was almost shouting, his anger getting the best of him. “You know what I think?” he growled. “I think that Vegeta mated Kamala. The mark is only the mark, anyway, you said that yourself. Nobody can see who made it. It can be the king's, but it can be Vegeta's too. I can bet it's Vegeta's…”

 

Radditz burst out laughing at that point. He tried to stifle his laugh when Goku began to growl, agitated. “Gods, Goku, it's the craziest thing I have ever heard… How long have you been investigating this?” he giggled again. “I'm sorry,” he tried to calm down again, because it really wasn't a laughing matter. “You see,” he chuckled again, “for a simple outsider it might seem like that, but I know the truth. It isn't how you think. I don't know about that first part; I don't know what happened between you and Prince Vegeta, but I can assure you that Prince Vegeta and Kamala aren't lovers. It's simply impossible.” He sighed, as Goku didn't seem to believe him. “I know what I'm talking about. I probably shouldn't talk about this with you, but…” he tugged at his mane. “You see, Kamala and Prince Vegeta have a bond,” he nodded to confirm when Goku gasped. “They have it, but it's… It's hard to explain… It's not the bond you are thinking about. It's more like the bond between brothers. It happens sometimes when two Saiyans live together for a long time and at least one of them is unmated. It's rare, but it happens. Prince Vegeta is already past the age when the need for a mate dominates one's mind. I think somehow he got attached to Kamala. I mean Kamala is much weaker than him and always needed to be taken care of, and Prince Vegeta always sympathized with him,” Radditz scratched his head, thinking how to explain it better. “I am not sure when it exactly happened, but at one time there was a click and there appeared a bond. Kamala accepted it, there's no doubt about that, if he hadn't accepted it, there wouldn't have been any bond between them; it always takes two to create a bond, any bond. It's not exactly the bond like between brothers, but it's not a mating bond either. Subconsciously Prince Vegeta might consider Kamala his mate, but sleeping with Kamala is a different thing. If you suggested that to Prince Vegeta or Kamala you might find that they would be repulsed by idea, or would think that you have a screw loose. That bond they have is something between a brotherhood and a mating bond. Saiyans usually never find their relatives sexually attractive. Even if one of them, Kamala or Prince Vegeta, might subconsciously consider the other as his mate, he would never touch the other because it would never bring any sexual satisfaction. Do you find me attractive?” suddenly Radditz laughed at Goku.

 

Goku blinked. He remembered Radditz's reaction when he thought that Radditz was making a pass at him and told him to keep away. Radditz had almost gagged in disgust then. And actually Goku felt the same now. “No,” he shook his head. “I mean, you look good,” he corrected himself, “but…”

 

“Exactly,” Radditz nodded. “It's just disgusting even to talk about it.”

 

“But are you sure?” Goku asked a bit wavering.

 

Radditz seriously looked at Goku. “I'm sure as hell, Goku, because through the bond I have with Raaven I can feel not only Kamala, but Prince Vegeta too. If they had a mating bond, I wouldn't be able to feel Prince Vegeta - mating bond is only in between the pair, nobody else can feel it. And I can feel even Prince Vedeno sometimes, and the kid has nothing to do with me. I'm sure you could feel your sons…” Radditz questioningly looked at Goku. “And I'm sure you'll be able to feel their sons and their sons' sons…”

 

“Shiiit…” Goku rubbed his forehead. That was true. It wasn't strong and earlier he didn't know what to call it, but he had it. He always had known if his sons were in pain, upset or in great joy. He never was able to explain it, but he felt it somehow. Chichi never was able to do that.

 

Goku leaned forward in his chair, considering the information. Vegeta and Kamala weren't lovers after all. He was too quick to assume. But why the hell then was Vegeta behaving like that?

 

XXXXX

 

“Vegeta, are you alright?” Kamala sat down next to Vegeta's bed. He observed Vegeta: the prince was turned to his side and it seemed that he was staring through the window at the rain outside. Kamala felt worried when the prince didn't go to the meeting, but went into his chambers and just slumped on his bed. He had noticed that in the past few days Vegeta had gotten a bit absentminded, depressed even. And then, in the kitchen… Why would Vegeta hurt Goku like that? Vegeta liked Goku, so what was Vegeta doing? “Vegeta, please, talk to me…” Kamala sighed when Vegeta didn't answer anything. There had been several occasion's when Vegeta would get so depressed that he didn't even talk to anyone and it would last for months and was frightening, because Vegeta tended to have very quick and dangerous mood-swings and his behavior might turn from self-pity into loathing for everyone any time. “What's bothering you?”

 

Vegeta stared through the window for some time then curled onto a ball on his bed, still with his back to Kamala. “I think I'm in love,” he said, mournfully.

 

Kamala's breathing hitched. “With whom?” Please, say Goku, he prayed.

 

“And who do you think?” Vegeta snorted. “This I needed… Damn. I don't know how to get rid of it. It's… I can't do anything about it…”

 

Kamala blinked not understanding. “But why do you want get rid of it?”

 

Vegeta turned around and looked at him as if he had grown two heads. “And why do I need it?! It's your fucking fault!” he suddenly erupted. “You and your stupid advice! Tell me how to get out of this now! Grrr!” Vegeta turned back to the window. He was afraid. He got afraid when he started to think about where his and Goku's relationship was going. Goku seemed to be serious towards him, and he wanted it to be serious, but what had he to be of interest to Goku? Earlier Goku had rejected Kamala. Then what chances did he, Vegeta, have? Surely Goku had plenty lovers, and him? Two, one by choice. Goku would die laughing if he only knew. He didn't have anything to offer Goku. He never had such looks or experience like Kamala has. What had he to offer Goku? He didn't have anything. For Gods' sake, he didn't even know how to kiss! Goku wasn't interested in power and he had nothing better to offer. And he was not worthy of a mate, hell, he wasn't even worthy of a lover. Goku would resent him if he only knew the truth. Any lover he would choose would resent and immediately leave him.

 

Vegeta sighed, his thoughts fuzzy and blurry, but quickly jumping and running. He thought that maybe he could keep it silent; nobody knew that, anyway. Except Kamala, but Kamala would never tell anyone. But his honor demands he tell the truth. If he ever chose a partner he wanted to spend the rest of his life with, he would tell. And by telling he would ruin everything. But he wouldn't be able to live with a person who didn't accept him as he was anyway. And nobody would ever accept him. He was not worthy; he hadn't been able to defend his honor, he was humiliated and raped. Who would ever consider taking him as a mate?

 

Kamala didn't resent him after he told Kamala everything. But it was only because Kamala had experienced the same. He had been hoping that he would find his happiness with Kamala, but it didn't work out. They weren't attracted to each other physically. It was no good - he didn't want to spend his days alone. One day Kamala would leave, Vedeno would mate and get the hell out of here too. And what then? He'd have to stay with his crazed father alone in this damn empty building. He didn't want that. He had lived like that before Kamala and he didn't want that again. But what could he do? Kamala had been right saying that he was turning into his father. He was losing his mind here. He needed to get away. But where? And what would it change? He'd probably end up living alone somewhere in the forest and in the end would go mad and turn into a wild animal.

 

“Vegeta,” Kamala worried touched Vegeta's shoulder. He had been trying to get the prince's attention for a whole five minutes. He sighed in relief when Vegeta turned around, his eyes concentrating on him. “If you explain to me where there's a problem…”

 

“You perfectly know where the problem lies,” Vegeta snorted. “As soon as I tell him…”

 

And then Kamala knew. He understood what was the problem. The problem was that Vegeta himself was a problem. Kamala furiously scratched his arm. That nonsense again. He had been hoping that Vegeta would overcome that with time. “Vegeta it's silly. He doesn't care…”

 

Vegeta's eyes widened in shock. “Did you tell him?! Kamala, I'll fucking…” he grabbed Kamala by his shoulder, shaking him.

 

“No,” Kamala pushed Vegeta's hand aside. “Of course I didn't. But I don't think that would make any difference…”

 

“Any difference…” Vegeta angrily repeated. He lay back on the bed. “It will make a big fucking difference!”

 

“Gods, Vegeta, he loves you. It doesn't matter. It was a long time ago… He…”

 

Vegeta snorted, cutting him off. “If he refused you, why does he need me? I'd never go for a one-night-stand, but I don't have anything to offer to further a relationship… I don't have your looks or experience…”

 

Kamala suddenly broke into laughter. “What experience are you talking about? Bed?” he chuckled. “You think it's important? Maybe to some extent, but you won't live your all live fucking, you'll have to live talking and understanding. Experience…” Kamala laughed again at silent Vegeta. “It's not a problem - you can gain it very fast…” Kamala brushed several strands from Vegeta's face. “It's the last thing you need to worry about. You had one lover before Goku, and Goku had none,” he smiled at Vegeta as that one looked at him angry. “It's true.” He leaned closer to Vegeta. “Be a good boy and listen to me now. You are hurting Goku. Stop before it's too late. The guy is in love with you, he wants to mate you, and you are whining here about some stupid experience and your past. He wouldn't ever care about what happened then, if anything he would only be more protective. It's not a one-night-stand we're talking about here, it's serious, Vegeta. Don't ruin your future.”

 

TBC

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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