Dragon Ball/Z/GT Fan Fiction ❯ Downward Spiral ❯ Chapter Twelve ( Chapter 12 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

As his eyes fell upon the two small figures before him he cringed; they both were looking at him with genuine confusion and curiosity, and he had no idea how to fix it, how to explain what had just happened. What was he supposed to tell them? Damn! Why did Goku have to do that and leave him to clean up the mess . . .? That didn't matter though, what mattered was how were they going to react? Well it shouldn't matter that much to Trunks but to Goku's brat . . . His brother was in hospital, his parents were getting divorced, his mom wasn't in a good enough state to look after him right now so he had to stay at Capsule Corps . . . With all that going on how would he take this?

He groaned and shook his head, letting the wet black locks fall over his chest cooling his skin. Why did he feel so guilty about this for? Despite the usual scowl on his face his heart wrenched violently; he hid the sea of sorrow in his heart perfectly. It was like every time he looked down at Goten he could imagine his heart breaking, or his fury rising and he could picture the blame being laid totally on him. He wouldn't see it as a good thing, would he? No, but that was understandable really.

As the heat from the sun shone through the large windows it struck his back, warming him pleasantly, reminding him of the morning with Goku. Kami! His hand moved to his chest rubbing over the cuts and scars absentmindedly; he needed to cut, he needed the release, he couldn't keep on feeling guilty and sad! He couldn't! His hand made to reopen a fresh cut when he heard the sharp cough of Trunks . . .

Looking down at the face of his son he let go of a deep sigh; the chibi was there arms folded with a angry scowl, nodding discreetly to Goten - Trunks knew what Vegeta wanted to do, and he was mature enough to know what opening a cut in front of Goten would do to his friend. The kid was way too similar to his mother. Nodding his moved his hands to his waist and stood silently.

Looking up at Vegeta Goten scratched his neck; by now he would have usually been pulling at Vegeta's clothes for attention, but considering what Vegeta was wearing it wouldn't be a good idea.

“Mr. Vegeta? You haven't answered us yet! Why did daddy do that for?”

Vegeta blushed again - this was going to be embarrassing . . . Well if he had to tell them why not just be honest? It was the best approach after all and he was always truthful with Trunks. Sighing he cricked his neck and started an explanation.

“Okay boys, you want to know?” They nodded. “Well last night Goku came into my room and we -. Ouch! Damn it onna!” He rubbed his chest painfully as Bulma's elbow struck him between the ribs sharply. Now what did he do? She wanted him to tell the brats right? So what the fuck was that for?

Bulma growled. “Don't tell them that bluntly or crudely - you'll scar them for life else!”

“Why not? Besides how the hell do you know what I was about to say?”

“You were going to tell them what you two -! You know what Vegeta? Never mind, because I'll tell them!” Vegeta shrugged, if she wanted to tell them then fine, like he would stop her.

Bending down to be at eye-level Bulma gave the most sincere smile she could muster, brushing a hand through Goten's black locks gently. Goten looked so different to Trunks, not just because of physical appearance, but because of his reactions and soul; Trunks looked impatient like he knew what was going to happen and wasn't too bothered, but Goten looked blissfully unaware and so curious . . .

“It's like this, when two people love each other sometimes they kiss -.”

Trunks scoffed and rolled his eyes. “Yeah, we know that mama. You kiss me every morning and every night, and Gohan kisses Goten when he's upset too, but not like that - that's a different kind of kiss and a different kind oflove. So tell us properly. What's going on?”

Bulma sighed, looking from one face to another. This was harder than she thought. As Vegeta cleared his throat she jumped, barely expecting an interruption. He knelt down besides her, looking more upset than angry.

“Okay, brats Goku and I are now an item, a couple. We are in love. That's why he kissed me.”

Trunks shrugged. “Thought so.” Suddenly a smile spread over his lips as he did a double take, he gave a subtle wink before spinning around to Goten. He laughed and grabbed his hands. “Cool! You know what this means, right Goten? We get to be brothers! Well step-brothers, but that's still cool!”

Bulma flinched as Goten pulled his hands away from Trunks sharply. Something was wrong. Goten never pulled away from Trunks before, this was different; his lips were quivering despite biting on them to stop, his eyes were scrunched closed too holding back the rains of tears, even Vegeta seemed quite shocked. As she reached out to touch him Trunks grabbed him in a big hug pulling him away from her. “What's wrong, Goten?”

Shaking his head Vegeta made his way over to the sofa, collapsing into the soft folds. He knew this wouldn't go well! He knew it! This was his fault . . . Kami, what kind of sadist was he? He just went and broke the poor brats heart! Goku's brat of all things! He'd be damned if he knew how, but shit -! Goten was there trying to hold in his emotions as they overwhelmed him, and who caused it? Vegeta. His hand moved to his chest, his nails digging deeply into one of the cuts, as the blood bled down his chest so did his sin. He needed the release! He had to be evil to do that to a child . . . He had to be. Kami! He hated feeling like this!

Waves of guilt consumed him, his mind became numb; the doors to oblivion opened wide within his aching heart, drawing him into an ocean of despair. His heart raced as he grabbed his head - he had to act like he didn't care, he had to act cold as usual so they wouldn't know something was wrong with him - but still, all he wanted to do was draw that blade over his skin, watch as the wound opened and the blood spilled, he deserved the pain, he deserved it . . .

Trunks continued to hug Goten who was starting to shake. “Come on, what's up? You can talk to me you know, I won't mind whatever it is.” Trunks gave a soft laugh and tightened his grip, trying to reassure him.

With a huge gasp for breath Goten opened his eyes wide and looked across the room to Vegeta, who was lying with his back to him. Shaking Trunks from his grip pushing him gently aside he raced across the room to Vegeta. Reaching up he pushed him hard on his back to get his attention.

“What do you want kid?”

“It's not true, is it Mr. Vegeta?” Goten nearly choked, he could feel his eyes watering and his heart racing, it felt like it was about to burst from his chest and explode! He couldn't stop shaking and it was scared him. His daddy wouldn't - he wouldn't just leave mommy, and if mommy found out she'd never want to be with him, and he'd never have his family back! “Is it true?”

“It's true. I told you, I love Goku, he loves me and we are a couple now.”

Goten's hand slid away as he looked behind him to Trunks who now seem genuinely confused. Goten could already feel himself choking on his own sobs, the falling over tears burning his hot skin. Great! Now he'd never have his family back!

As the pain grew in his stomach and threatened to consume him he raced out the room, storming upstairs to hide. He just wanted to be alone!

“Goten!” Trunks yelled; he turned to run as the stamping footsteps faded away but was stopped by Bulma. “What? Let me go! I need to go see what's wrong with Goten!”

“Trunks,” Bulma's smile had faded with worry as she tried to appear calm, “Goten's just a little upset, I don't know why but he just needs to be alone for a minute. I'll go and make sure he's okay, right? Why don't you and dad go and find Goku, you can visit Gohan then and Goten and me will come up to you as soon as he's feeling better.”

Trunks looked to the floor, fidgeting wildly. He didn't want to leave Goten alone, he was his best friend and he was hurt and upset! Holding his head he sighed. “Okay momma, but try and cheer him up before you talk to him, okay? Making fun of papa or giving him some cake usually helps.”

“Okay sweetie.” Bulma smiled as Vegeta grunted from across the room. “Vegeta! Can you go get dressed and take Trunks to the hospital, you promised Goku you would anyway, he's probably waiting for you by now.”

Vegeta growled. “And what do I tell him, huh? That I made his son cry? That his son is now hiding because he's so upset? What?”

“Vegeta!”

“Fine, I'm going, I'm going.”

She rolled her eyes and his got up and walked across the room, her eyebrow raised with suspicion though as she caught sight of blood trickling down his chest onto the white towel - he hadn't cut himself again had he? Not when Goten, Trunks and herself were right across the room? Why? She shook her head. He probably didn't. She nodded to Trunks. “Go and get ready, okay? And make sure your dad doesn't take ages. Goten and I won't be long.”

“Okay mama.”

* * *

“Goku!”

Quietly striding into the waiting room and closing the door behind her, she felt her mind racing with everything Goten had told her; it was hard to try and sound cheerful when she greeted Goku when Goten had said everything he did . . . Goten was nearly hysterical when she found him hiding in Trunks' room, and all he said was he didn't want Vegeta and Goku seeing each other, he wanted his family back . . . Frankly it kind of upset her, let alone Goku when he'd find out. She eventually convinced him to come to the hospital and left him with Trunks and Chi-Chi in the café, whilst she came to find Goku. After all, they needed to talk . . .

As soon as she came in the first thing she noticed was that Vegeta wasn't there; it was strange, she really expected him to be there but the only person was Goku, who was sweating from the heat - the sun was blinding him and burning him as the windows acted as a magnifying glass - he squinted near the door and jumped up.

“Oh, hi Bulma!”

Moving across the room he gave her a large hug, she didn't respond; he knew at once something was wrong. Stepping back he looked closely at her. She seemed so pale . . .

“What's up?”

She shook her head. “Where's Vegeta?”

“He keeps being sick, he's been in the bathroom for like twenty minutes, I checked up on him and he just told me to get lost, said it was his fault or something similar that didn't make sense.”

“Damn it!” Wait - maybe she was just jumping to conclusions . . . But the symptom was so similar to -, and for Saiyans it was much quicker . . . Okay, she couldn't get side-tracked, she was here to talk to Goku about Goten, not about Vegeta's health. She sat down and waited for Goku to take a seat by her. “So how's Gohan doing?”

“Bulma, you're not here for small talk, are you? This is about Goten.”

“How do you know?”

“Vegeta told me. He said that before Trunks and him left to come here, they were both really curious and so they eavesdropped on you and Goten; he told me everything Goten said. Well he did in between his runs to the bathroom anyway.”

Bulma sighed. “Goten really wants his family back, he thinks you and Chi-Chi still could get back together and he's totally oblivious to what she did to you . . . He doesn't blame Vegeta but he -.” She stopped and looked away; she couldn't bring herself to finish the sentence . . .

“He doesn't want me dating anyone and he blames me instead. Yeah, I know. I've never seen him so depressed, I was watching him with Trunks and all he was doing was crying . . . He kept saying he hated me and that I didn't care about him because all I wanted to do was to be with Vegeta. It broke my heart! I love him more than anything and the kid thinks I hate him! What am I supposed to do?”

“I don't know Goku.”

Goku's smile bled away. “It's really horrible. At the minute he'd only be happy if I wasn't with `Geta, but I couldn't live without `Geta! I love him. It's like - it's - I can't choose between my son and `Geta! So how do I get Goten to be happy?” He paused as a cold tear rolled over his cheek. He knew what he'd have to do to get a smile back on Goten's face, but the idea made him sick to his stomach! He was starting to feel dizzy and light-headed . . .

“I'm going to have to leave `Geta aren't I? Just until Goten can cope with the idea and can get over it. I mean I told Gohan and he was overjoyed for me! Trunks seemed happy too - he really wants Goten to be his brother.” Goku let out a soft laugh as tears fell over his cheeks, “Gohan's coming home tomorrow and he wants to celebrate with us all going for a meal - but when I looked at Goten and saw him so heartbroken . . .”

“Goku! You don't have to leave `Geta at all! You love him. Goten will come around, it's just all a shock with everything that's going on, that's all. He'll be okay.”

“Will he?”

Bulma looked away. Good question . . .

He couldn't stop the tears from falling; it felt like his heart was being ripped in two - Kami! He loved Vegeta more than life itself! He wanted to be with him forever, he wanted them to never be apart - but Goten, he had to put his child first, right? Even if that meant being away from Vegeta for a while . . . only a while though . . . but how would `Geta take it? Kami! Just the idea was enough to make Goku consider ending his own life, he just wanted to crawl into a ball and die, to trade places with his son - but he knew he couldn't do that, he had to think of Goten and Gohan, what would they do if he was gone? Crap! If that were what crossed his mind, with Vegeta's track record what the hell would he think of? What would he do?

“I love Vegeta. I really do.”

“I know.”

“But Goten - . . .”

No! No - this couldn't be right, this was wrong! It had to be! Damn it!

Vegeta shuddered; pressing himself against the cold door of small cubicle, he grasped his stomach, looking down at it with watering eyes. He glared as if Alien were to burst through his skin. Damn, damn, damn! He couldn't be certain - he couldn't jump to conclusions . . .! He needed help. He was mated with Goku now right? They had a telepathic bond, even if Goku didn't know how to use it Vegeta did. Concentrating he tried to access Goku's mind but was flooded by pain. Goku was probably still upset about Goten - in his state there was no way he'd hear Vegeta's cries for help.

He brushed a hand through his black hair, still streaked with pink thanks to Trunks. It was true that Saiyans were very much different to Humans . . . The tails and transformations - his own tail inadvertently wrapped around his waist at the thought - the extremely slow aging, after all he'd probably live to see his great, great, great grandkids and add about four more greats on and he'd still be alive then . . . And of course male Saiyans could bear children, just as the females could - an Earth male couldn't do that . . .

Kami! He was only with Kakarott last night! Would he really be showing symptoms that fast? Well he was certainly sick, and dizzy - . . . but that could be anything right? He shook his head, he could remember Raditz's pregnancy only lasted four months, and according to Raditz that was normal for all Saiyans. Vegeta laughed to himself - it was comforting to think about the times he was serving Freeza sometimes, to remember his old friends and remember the secrets they shared and the relationships they had. Vegeta and Nappa had kept Raditz secret to this day.

Damn! He was getting distracted . . .

Was he or wasn't he? Maybe Bulma could test him and find out. Yeah - he'd get a definite answer by tonight no doubt. He breathed deeply, he was going to need to tell Goku though whether he was or wasn't - they had to be honest with each other; they were together now after all. He tried breaking through his mental bond to Goku again, all he got back was the fact that Goku's heart was breaking - whatever was happening to Goku it wasn't good.

He sighed.

He should have explained the bond to Goku better, maybe then he could get through to him, but they were so caught up in the heat of the moment Goku didn't notice the teeth in his neck or his in Vegeta's and they had no time the next day for Vegeta to explain . . .

Breathing deeply he opened the door and made his way out the bathroom to the elevator, he was going to have to tell Goku and ask Bulma to test him and see if he was. With the worry eating his mind he tried to focus on Goku, why was Goku upset? Something had to be happening to him or going on in his mind, but what?

It couldn't be anything bad. He was probably worrying over Goten, right? Right.

As the lift came down and up he closed his eyes trying to hold in his agony. With a deep breath he made his way over to the waiting room, jumping at the noise of the lift doors closing behind him, walking into the room where Bulma and Goku were he swallowed hard - it looked like Goku had been crying, his eyes were red and swollen and Bulma looked pale as a ghost, shaking her head at Goku as if trying to convince him something was false or wrong . . .

Vegeta walked in and sat on a table opposite Goku, he really should tell Goku what might be inside him, what might be going on, but it could wait. He either was or he wasn't and whatever Vegeta was it wasn't going to change in a few minutes. Goku was more important and he had to come first. He looked into Goku's eyes and let his tail fall from his waist.

“Goku? What's wrong? I sensed you were in pain through our bond.”

“Bond?”

“Yes, you are aware of the Saiyan mating rituals aren't you? When a Saiyan -.”

“Oh yeah . . .” He paused and felt his tears coming back to him. “`Geta, I love you, I really do but Goten -.”

“He's upset about us, I know.”

“Which is why-.” Kami, this was too fucking hard! He collapsed into his hands and felt the tears falling, he couldn't look Vegeta in the face, not now, not when his heart was breaking and he would break Vegeta's too. “I think we need a break, just for a while - Goten's got to be a priority. He - he -. Once he's gotten over it we can be together - but I can't hurt him in the meantime. You understand, right Vegeta?”

Vegeta's face remained still and expressionless. What? No - Goku didn't mean this. He couldn't. He looked Goku deep in the eyes and gasped as realisation dawned, Goku meant he said. He meant it!

His heart pounded furiously in his chest as his heart shattered, he never loved anyone, no one, and every time he experienced love it was used against him or abandoned him, this was no different! Goku just used him and was now leaving him . . . Why? He screamed inside as excruciating agony seized him. Kami! He needed to cut, to bleed to let it all out . . . He wanted death . . . He moved his hand to his stomach and thought about what lay inside - no! He wouldn't hurt himself! If Goten really was Goku's priority and not some excuse then this child had to be Vegeta's priority!

He cringed he stood up and walked away slowly. He would not let Goku see him like this, not now -. Jumping up Goku raced to his side, holding onto his shoulder tightly. “Please `Geta, I love you! Don't be angry, I have to do this for Goten, but -.”

Vegeta spun around, the tears flowing freely from his face. What? Goku had the nerve to patronise him like this? Lie to him like a child? Why did he claim to love him when he clearly didn't? He might as well rip Vegeta's heart out right now, because he'd never have a need for it ever again . . .

“Vegeta?”

Great. Now the oaf sensed something was wrong with him . . .

“I'm pregnant Kakarott.”