Dragon Ball/Z/GT Fan Fiction ❯ Dragon Ball Z/The Simpsons ❯ Ka Me Ha Me...D'oh! ( One-Shot )

Dragon Ball Z, The Simpsons

Ka...Me...Ha...Me...D'oh!

Chapter 1: Discovery

It happened once a once in a good while. An event unlike any other. When this event took place, the sky would become illuminated. Bright lights and strange occurrences were many, and order was few. Few people were actually able to witness such an event, but it was a spectacle indeed. This event came to be known as... "Happy Hour".

For the barflies at Moe's Tavern, this was a special occasion. Everything seemed to be right...if you were drunk. Lenny and Carl were fighting over who was more hot: Pamela Anderson or the lady who stands in front of the drug store yelling things. Barney was dancing in his underwear, a Duff in one hand, and Moe's wallet in the other. Moe was desperately trying to get his wallet back, and as for Homer, well, he was just a little drunk. He was busy having an argument with the Love Testing Machine.

"I'm telling you, Bush is a bigger crook than Sideshow Bob!" yelled Homer.

The machine said nothing back.

"No, you shut up!" yelled Homer.

The machine said nothing back.

"Oh yeah? Why you little...!" yelled Homer.

Homer kicked the machine as hard as he could. He stepped back and looked it up and down, then he walked back to the bar. He was happy about his new victory, and now that smart-mouth love tester would have to think twice before it started with Homer J. Simpson again.

"Hey Moe, Duff me," said Homer.

"Sorry Homer, but I got problems of my own here," said Moe, who was still trying to get his wallet back.

"Aww, but I want a beer now! Wait a minute..."

Homer glanced down at the tap behind the bar. If Moe was distracted, then he wouldn't be able to stop Homer from raiding the tap. Homer jumped on the bar, stretched out, and sucked the beer from the tap with his head upside down. After a few seconds, nothing came out. Homer stared into the tap while pounding it with his fist. Still nothing happened. He grabbed the tap and started to squeeze it, then, suddenly, beer came flowing out of the tap and into Homer's eyes.

"Ah, it burns! It burns!" screamed Homer.

Homer stood up from the bar and glanced at the clock on the wall. It was 2:45 A.M. He decided it was time to go and spend some quality time with his family. After all, it was only about three in the morning, they should all still be up.

"See ya tomorrow, Bill," said Homer to Moe.

"Who the hell are you talking to, Homer? Who's Bill?" asked Moe.

"No, you shut up!" yelled Homer.

Homer walked out of the bar and leaned against his car. All around him he could see children playing, the sun shining, and old people trying to get out of the Old Folk's Home. Homer wondered what all the drunks in the bar were seeing. It's a good thing I'm sober, he thought.

Just as Homer prepared to enter his car, he noticed a strange light in the sky. He stared at the ball of light that seemed to come closer and closer to him. As it came near him, he began to walk forward. Then, in an instant, it bonked him on the head.

"D'oh!" yelled Homer.

The light disappeared. Homer looked down and saw a small orange ball sitting by his feet. He picked it up and examined it, then he raised it above his head and laughed. He was happy, but he didn't know why.

"I'm the king of the world!" yelled Homer. "I have discovered the moon rock thingy!"

Homer jumped in his car and drove home as fast as he could. He had to tell Marge about his new discovery and how it would make him rich. He had just discovered the fabled moon rock. Legend had it that it only appeared to those who had just consumed much alcohol. Eventually, he reached his house. He entered the house and screamed,

"Marge! Kids! Come down here quick!"

Marge ran down the stairs carrying Maggie. Bart and Lisa followed her. They all stood in front of Homer, panting and scared.

"What's wrong, Homer?" asked Marge.

"I've found it, Marge! I have discovered it!" exclaimed Homer.

"What? What are you saying, Homer?" asked Marge.

"...I dunno. I'm hungry..."

Chapter 2: Enter: The Idiot (Goku)

It was the perfect day for a barbecue. Trunks and Goten were playing, Yamcha was drunk (again), Bulma was toying with some gadget she had just come up with, and Goku was feeding his face again. It was their time to celebrate after the Z fighters won their hard-fought battle against the combined evils of Martha Stewart, Britney Spears, and Mr. T., which caused both Goku and Vegeta to become Super Saiyan Level 5 and fuse into Super Saiyan 5 Gogeta. And that was just to beat Martha Stewart.

Chi Chi was busy flipping burgers while Master Roshi stared at her breasts and drooled. Chi Chi was talking about something, but he wasn't quite sure what it was. He didn't really give a damn, either.

"...which is exactly why I think Goten's generation is decaying," said Chi Chi.

"Uh huh..." mumbled Master Roshi.

"There are just too many negative influences these days. You know these days all men care about in a woman are her breasts?!"

"Oh yeah, breasts. You gotta have breasts..."

"I'm just glad there are decent men around like you and my Goku."

"Yes, they are decent. And voluptuous!"

"Oh Master Roshi, you're such a good listener. And a great friend, too."

"Yup that's me. A friend to the end. I love you too, ladies..."

Vegeta leaned against a fence and stared at the horizon. He was still angry at the beating that he took at the hands of Britney Spears. It took a Final Super Amazing Out-Of-This-World You're Gonna Shit Yourself When You See This Attack Kame Hame Ha just to make her angry. But now he was the strongest fighter in the universe. Next to Goku. And Gohan. And Goten. And Trunks. And Tien. And Mr T. (the rat bastard ran off when Britney and Martha were beaten). And Yamcha. And Yajirobe. And the guy from the 7up commercials. Beside from all of them, he was the strongest fighter in the Tri-State Area. Vegeta looked down and noticed the Dragon Radar.

"Hey woman, your lizard testicle radar is beeping again," said Vegeta.

"It's Dragon Ball! Dragon Ball!" yelled Bulma.

"Whatever, bitch! Just look at it!"

"What did you just call me?!"

"Um...nothing, sweetums! Here, let me sweeten your lemonade!"

Vegeta put some sugar in Bulma's lemonade, stirred it, cupped his hands, bowed his head, and backed away, ever so slowly. He acted big enough, but deep down he knew that he was really Bulma's bitch.

"You better had, bitch," said Bulma.

Bulma picked up the Dragon Radar and looked at it. She saw that six of the Dragon Balls were being moved from their respective locations and moving to one spot. She got up and ran over to Goku, who was tossing french fries in his mouth.

"Goku, look at this. Six of the Dragon Balls are being gathered at once and moved to one spot!" said Bulma.

"Wow, that's really something. What are the odds?" said Goku.

"You know what this means right? We have to gather the Dragon Balls before somebody else does!"

"How come?"

"We just do!"

"But why? Whoever they are, they haven't done anything wrong."

"But somebody is gathering the Dragon Balls! They must be evil!"

"How do you figure?"

"It's just a hunch!"

"Bulma, remember when you had that hunch that Gohan should talk dirty to Videl to get some play, and she kicked his ass right in front of everybody?"

"Sure. It was ten minutes ago." Bulma pointed at Gohan, who was lying on the ground and moaning from the ass-kicking he had just gotten from Videl.

"Bulma, I think we should just let whoever this is get the Dragon Balls and just leave him alone."

"Okay, Goku. But think of this. Whoever it is may wish to have the world's entire supply of food for himself."

"We have to stop this bastard at once!" said Goku.

"Now you're talking, Goku! Let's gather everybody, find this guy, and whup his ass good!" said Bulma.

Within a few minutes, Goku, Gohan, Goten, Trunks, Vegeta, Bulma, Chi Chi, Krillin, Videl, and Piccolo (who was at the barbecue for only God knows what reason, since he doesn't eat.) were all gathered and ready to find the Dragon Balls. Everybody climbed into one of Bulma's high-powered ships and started following the signal of the Dragon Radar.

"Uh...Bulma. Just out of curiosity, where did you get this ship from?" asked Krillin.

"Oh this? It was in one of my capsules," said Bulma.

"But Bulma, where did you keep it? I mean, you're not wearing anything but a G-String."

Bulma looked down and realized that Krillin was right. She was only wearing a G-String. Apparently she had forgotten to get dressed this morning. Bulma looked down at herself and screamed.

"So that's why Master Roshi and Goten have been staring at me all this time!" said Bulma.

"Goten!" scolded Chi Chi.

"But Mom, she has big knockers! Look!" argued Goten.

"Hey she does. I'm impressed," said Chi Chi.

"See? Told ya!" said Goten.

"Nice titties, Bulma. They real?" asked Chi Chi.

"Chi Chi, how could you possibly ask such a thing?! Of course they're not!" said Bulma.

"Don't I know it..." mumbled Vegeta.

"What did you say, bitch?!" yelled Bulma as she mounted Vegeta and pounded his head into the floor.

"This is your pilot speaking. Would you please refrain from all ass-kicking on the plane? Thank you for riding Dumbass Airlines," said Goku.

"Wait a minute...Dad's flying the plane?!" yelled Gohan.

"Kakarot will kill us all!" yelled Vegeta.

"Hey guys, look what I can do!" said Goku.

The plane twirled around 20 times and stopped upside-down. When the plane stopped, Bulma fell to the roof and Goten landed right on top of her. As he fell, his hand slipped and landed on Bulma's right breast.

"Oooohhh," said Goten.

"Alright guys! We're going in for a landing! Hold onto your pants and don't crap in 'em!" said Goku.

The plane twirled around twenty more times and landed right side-up. When the plane hit the ground, it skid 100 yards and kept going until it smashed into the Kwik-E-Mart. Apu jumped just in time to dodge a propeller that would have taken his head off. Goku turned toward everybody else and smiled.

"Whoops, I forgot that planes have wheels! Well, everybody out!" yelled Goku.

Everybody wearily climbed out of the plane and fell to the ground. They all lay on the ground panting and wheezing, except for Goku. Goku stood up and took a whif of some not-so-fresh air. The air choked him and caused him to cough violently.

"Ewww, what is this place?" asked Goku.

Goku looked up and saw a sign that was blue and yellow. It read: "Welcome To Springfield. Our Police Aren't Corrupt, We Swear!"

"Wow, a town where the police aren't corrupt!" said Goku.

"So Dad, you think we should start looking for the Dragon Balls?" asked Gohan.

"Good thinking, Son. Let's start looking," said Goku.

Everybody climbed back into the ship and strapped themselves tightly to their seats. Goku tried to sit back in the cockpit, but Piccolo and Bulma grabbed him and forced him out of it. Piccolo sat in the cockpit and looked over the controls.

"Alright, Piccolo. The nearest Dragon Ball is just a few blocks to the east," said Bulma.

Piccolo flew over the next few blocks and stopped at a place called Evergreen Terrace. When he flew over one particular house, the stench became particularly bad. Piccolo covered his nose in disgust and looked up at Bulma.

"Okay, Piccolo. This is the place," said Bulma.

"You must be joking. There is no way that I am parking here," said Piccolo.

"But this is where the Dragon Ball is."

"But I have an extra sensitive nose!"

"No you don't! You have sensitive ears!"

"And a sensitive nose! And sensitive eyes! And a sensitive navel! And there's a spot on my right shoulder that's sensitive!"

"And despite all that, you still don't have a penis," said Krillin.

"Sniff...sniff...We Nameks have feelings too, you know!" said Piccolo through tears.

"Wow, what a bitch," said Krillin.

Bulma hit a button on the control panel that caused the plane to park right in front of a house. Everybody got out of the plane and approached the house. Gohan stepped forward and knocked on the door. In a few seconds, a fat, bald, yellow man opened the door.

"Yello?" said Homer.

"Hello, sir. We were just in the neighborhood and...are those handcuffs on your wrists?" asked Gohan.

"Uh...my wife's a freak, you know," said Homer.

"O.......kay."

"Look, let's make this short, sweet, and simple. We're going to be in this town for a while, so can we stay at your house indefinitely?" asked Piccolo.

"Oh sure. Make yourselves at home!" Homer turned around in the doorway. "Marge, some total strangers with strange hair and complexions are going to live with us until God knows when!"

"Oh, not again!" said Marge.

Chapter 3: Moving In

Within an hour, everybody started to unpack. Trunks and Goten would stay in Bart's room, Goku, Chi Chi, and Gohan slept in the basement, Bulma and Videl slept in Lisa's room, Krillin stayed in Maggie's room, and Piccolo slept in the yard. But there was one problem.

"Wait a minute...aren't there any more rooms? Where am I going to sleep?" asked Vegeta.

"Oh, I never thought about that..." said Bulma.

"Well, there is one place you can stay," said Homer.

Homer picked up the phone and dialed a number. Everybody watched him while he dialed it and spoke to someone. Vegeta looked at Homer suspiciously. After a minute, Homer hung up the phone.

"Okay, you can stay at the Old Folk's Home with my dad," said Homer.

"What?! Are you insane? I can't stand the elderly!" yelled Vegeta.

"Oh man, tell me about it. You're not gonna have a very fun time. Well, see ya," said Homer.

Vegeta scanned the town's ki levels and found some frail, old feeling power levels that were so low they were embarrassing. Vegeta assumed that the place with the lowest power levels would have to be the old people's home. He cursed to himself, walked out the door, and flew toward the place that he would have to sleep.

"Damn stupid human motherf..." cursed Vegeta as he flew away.

"So, what brings you all to Springfield?" asked Marge.

"Well, for reasons unknown, we scan the world for these things called Dragon Balls. When you collect the Dragon Balls, you can summon a dragon named Shenlong and ask him to grant you a wish. The thing is that bad people try to get the Dragon Balls for their own purposes, so we have to interfere with their plans whenever someone else tries to get them because, to be honest, we have no lives," said Bulma.

"And whoever is getting the Dragon Balls has brought them to this town," said Gohan.

"Wait a minute. If we get these things, we can ask the dragon for anything?" asked Homer.

"That's right," said Gohan.

"You mean, I could ask for...the world's entire food supply!" exclaimed Homer.

Goku snarled when he heard that. Gohan and Piccolo felt his power level rising and grabbed him. They drug him out the house and sprayed him with the hose to try to calm him down. Goku yelled and cursed wildly until they finally convinced him that the world's food supply was safe.

Upstairs in Bart's room, Goten and Trunks were unpacking. Bart sat on his bed and observed them. These guys must be amateurs when it comes to pranks. Maybe I should teach 'em something? Yeah, I'll make them the funniest guys in town, thought Bart.

"So, you guys like to play tricks?" asked Bart.

"You mean like giving somebody a wedgie and then teleporting away before they sense your ki?" asked Goten.

"Uh...yeah, yeah, that thing. But I was thinking more along the lines of practical jokes," said Bart.

"What do you mean?" asked Trunks.

"I guess you guys don't usually do that. But that's okay. I'm gonna help you out. Observe," said Bart.

Bart got up and grabbed the phone. He dialed a number and snickered. Trunks and Goten looked at each other, then at Bart. Bart snickered again. Then somebody on the other end picked up the phone.

"Moe's Tavern," said Moe.

"Yes, I'm looking for a Ms. Positive. First initial 'H', middle name 'Ivy'," said Bart.

"Uh, hold on. I'll check." Moe turned to everybody in the bar. "H. Ivy Positive! H. Ivy Positive! Hey, is anybody in here H. Ivy Positive? Come on, if you're drinking in this bar, you gotta be H. Ivy Positive! I know somebody in here is H. Ivy Positive!"

"You sure it's not you, Moe?" asked Barney.

"What? What do you...? Oh wait a minute. I get it." Moe turned back to the phone. "Listen you little punk, when I get a hold of you, I'm gonna smear Cool Whip over your intestines, chew it up, and spit it right back in your face!"

Moe slammed the phone back on the hook. Bart fell over laughing, and Trunks and Goten fell over with him. Goten held his stomach and got up.

"That was funny! I wish I could do that!" said Goten.

"Oh, you probably could. You just gotta be creative, that's all. It's best if your joke is making fun of something that's real. And it's especially good if you make somebody say something stupid like Moe just did," said Bart.

"Bart, will you teach me to be funny like you?" asked Goten.

"Hmmm...you have much to learn, young grasshopper. But I will teach you," said Bart.

"Thanks! So what's my first lesson?"

"Hmm...Lesson One: Pissing Off Homer!"

Trunks walked out of the room and down the hall while Bart taught Goten some tricks. He walked down and stopped when he heard some kind of horn. Trunks looked into the room next to him and saw Lisa playing her saxophone. He was immediately stunned. She...she's beautiful...thought Trunks. Lisa looked down from her sax and saw Trunks. He..he's so cute...thought Lisa. Lisa smiled at Trunks, and Trunks smiled back and walked into the room.

"Hi, my name's Trunks. I like the way you play the sex...uh sax! Sax!" stammered Trunks.

"Oh thanks. My name's Lisa. Hey, I like your hair. Purple is so sexy..I mean pretty!" stammered Lisa.

Trunks and Lisa laughed nervously for a moment. Trunks sat next to Lisa on the bed and smiled. She smiled back to him. Trunks had no idea what to say. He was too used to fighting to really be interested in girls like Goten was. And he was only nine years old. Lisa was equally nervous. The only boyfriends she ever had were Nelson and Ralph. She had never been with a normal person. She just had to follow her instincts on this one. Lisa closed her eyes and leaned forward. Just as she moved toward Trunks, he jumped down to the floor and picked up a diagram that was sitting there. Lisa fell over the edge of the bed and landed on her face.

"Hey, what's this thing?" asked Trunks.

"Ow, that's...a science project. I wanted to figure out if you could measure somebody's strength by using equations. But I can't quite figure it out," said Lisa.

"Oh, my mom knows how to do this. She taught me how. I can see the mistake. See this equation right here? There should be a '2' there, not an 'X'. I made the same mistake when I tried for the first time," said Trunks.

"Oh, I didn't see that. Thanks," said Lisa. Wow, he's so smart, thought Lisa.

"Don't mention it," said Trunks. Wow, she's so smart, thought Trunks.

Down the hall, Krillin was unpacking his stuff in Maggie's room. He looked over his shoulder at Maggie. She was just sitting in her crib, staring at him. Krillin smiled and waved at Maggie.

"Hey, kiddo!" said Krillin.

Krillin turned back to his stuff and kept unpacking. Something made him feel uneasy, but he didn't know what it was. He looked around and saw nothing wrong. Then he looked back at Maggie again. She was still staring at him.

"Uh...you okay, kid?" asked Krillin.

Krillin turned around and stared at Maggie. There was something odd about her, but he couldn't tell what it was. This odd aura seemed to come from Maggie's body. Then he noticed her eyes. They were both glowing blood red. Maggie's hair seemed to rise from her head. Then she removed her pacifier.

"I'm going to kill you," said Maggie.

Krillin ran downstairs with his arms flailing. He screamed like a 5 year old girl all the way down. Goku felt his ki and heard him screaming. He grabbed Krillin's shirt and stopped him. Krillin was screaming hysterically and saying something that Goku couldn't quite understand. Goku held him and shook him.

"Krillin, what's wrong? What is going on?" asked Goku.

"She's a monster! A monster, I tell you! She's going to kill me!" exclaimed Krillin.

"Who? Who's going to kill you? Has Britney Spears returned?" asked Goku.

"No, it's much worse! Oh, I'm gonna die! She's going to kill me!"

"Who's going to kill you, Krillin?"

"The baby!"

Everybody was silent. Goku scratched his head and looked at Krillin like he was crazy. Then Krillin saw somebody standing outside the window. Everybody looked out the window and saw the person point.

"Ha Ha!" laughed Nelson.

"Krillin, the baby is going to kill you?" asked Goku.

"Yes, she just threatened me! Her eyes were as red as blood and her hair was standing up! And then she told me she was going to kill me!" said Krillin.

"Let's get upstairs and see this baby," said Goku.

"Alright, I'll lead you to the room," said Marge.

Marge led Goku upstairs to Maggie's room. Krillin walked three feet behind Goku with two ki balls charged in each hand. Marge entered the room and walked to Maggie's crib. Maggie looked up at her mother and smiled. Krillin hid behind Goku and put more power in the ki balls.

"Maggie, are you okay, sweetie? Are you causing trouble?" asked Marge.

"Hey, what a cute baby!" said Goku.

"Would you like to hold her?" asked Marge.

Goku picked Maggie up and tickled her stomach slightly. Maggie innocently giggled and grabbed Goku's finger. She was acting just the way any innocent little baby would act. Goku held Maggie over his shoulder and patted her on the back. When she was out of Goku's field of vision, Maggie took a swing at Krillin and knocked him across the hallway. Krillin slammed into the opposite wall and hit the floor. He slowly got up and rubbed his head. When his vision cleared, he looked up at Maggie and saw her giving him the finger. Goku pulled her back into his field of vision, and Maggie gave him the innocent smile again.

"Aw, you're such a good baby. Krillin, what have you been smoking? This baby wouldn't hurt a fly. I bet she's never hurt anybody in her entire life," said Krillin.

"Actually, she once beat up my husband and shot his boss," said Marge.

"Oh. Well, nobody's perfect. Still, she's a great baby!" said Goku.

"That baby is Satan! Satan, I tell you!" said Krillin.

"Krillin, no more baby bashing!" said Goku.

"Don't leave me alone with her..." said Krillin.

"Well, I'd better go. It's time for me to start dinner," said Marge.

"Did you say dinner? Later, Krillin!" said Goku.

Krillin was all alone with Maggie. Maggie played with her toys cheerfully in the crib. She grabbed one of her toys and smashed it into another one very violently. Krillin whimpered and sat on the floor in the corner. She was crazy, he was convinced. But nobody believed him. Maggie kept playing with her toys. Then, she stopped and looked up at Krillin. Krillin looked up at her and started biting his fingernails. Then, Maggie's hair stood up again. It flashed and changed from blonde to dark red. Her eyes became red again, and then yellow energy swirled around her body. Her nails grew to six inches each and became black. Maggie floated out of her crib and pointed at Krillin.

"You're ass is mine," said Maggie.

"AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" screamed Krillin.

Downstairs in the basement, Gohan and Chi Chi were unpacking their stuff. Chi Chi was cheerful, but Gohan was upset. He slammed his suitcase on the floor and sat in the corner with his arms crossed.

"What's the matter, Gohan?" asked Chi Chi.

"Mom, why can't I sleep with Videl?" asked Gohan.

"Maybe you're penis is too small?" asked Chi Chi.

"That's not what I meant! I mean, why do I have to sleep down here with you and Dad?"

"Because Bulma and Videl are sleeping in Lisa's room, and there's no more room in there. But there are two beds down here. See? Now you can have a bed to yourself while your father and I share the other bed."

"But Mom, Videl and I are planning on having a baby. We both want a daughter."

"Oh, that would make my day to have a granddaughter!"

"We're still thinking of names to give the baby if we have one. I'm thinking somewhere along the lines of 'Pot'. What do you think?"

"Uh...why don't you try 'Pan' instead?"

"I guess so."

Outside of the house, Piccolo sat on the ground to meditate. He took a sip of water and looked around. He couldn't stand to be there anymore. The stench was unbearable. He thought meditating would help out a little bit.

Rod and Todd were running around there house and playing. Todd stopped suddenly when he saw something green sitting in the Simpson's front yard. He and Rod stared at Piccolo in awe. Neither of them knew what to make of him.

"Do you think it's an angel?" asked Rod.

"I don't know. I thought angels were supposed to be beautiful," said Todd.

"Let's go ask him," said Rod.

Rod and Todd approached Piccolo very slowly and silently. Piccolo looked up from his water and saw them. They walked even more slowly. Then Todd walked up to him and dropped to his knees.

"Um, are you an angel?" asked Todd.

"No," replied Piccolo.

"Are you a demon?" asked Rod.

"Yes," replied Piccolo.

Rod and Todd screamed and ran into their house. Ned saw them running by and grabbed them both. Each of them tried to run even faster from Piccolo, who was still sitting on the lawn. Ned shook his sons and tried to calm them down.

"Boys, what's the fuss-diddly-uss all about?" asked Ned.

"A demon, daddy! He's sitting on the Simpson's front lawn right now!" said Rod.

"He even told us he was! He said that Satan is disguised as Rosie O'Donnell! And that he's the one who created the Fox network!" said Todd.

"A demon? I'd better have a look at this," said Ned.

Ned walked out of his house and saw Piccolo meditating. He must be doing some kind of devil prayer! I'm going to kick him back to Heck-diddly-eck! thought Ned. He walked up to Piccolo and reached to tap his shoulder. Piccolo felt his ki and looked up before Ned could even touch him. Devil magic! He knew I was there because of devil magic! thought Ned.

"Um, excuse me, sir. I couldn't help noticing that you're green," said Ned.

"You catch on fast," said Piccolo.

"Well, I think you gave my boys quite a scare just now. They seem to think that you're a demon."

"I am. My father is the demon incarnation of the evil part of an old man that happens to be sharing this body with me right now. We're also sharing this body with a guy named Nail, whom we never let speak," said Piccolo.

"That's right!" said Nail.

"Quiet, you!" snapped Kami and Piccolo.

"Oh, dear Lord, it is a demon! You're a de-diddly-emon!" yelled Ned.

"Whatever," said Piccolo.

"I'll have to handle this!" said Ned as he ran back to his house.

"After all these years, I still don't understand these insane humans..." said Piccolo.

"You got that right," said Nail.

"Shut the hell up!" snapped Kami and Piccolo.

Back inside the house, Bulma and Videl were unpacking in Lisa's room. Lisa was sitting at a desk drawing something. Videl looked over her shoulder and thought she saw something familiar and purple on the paper. She looked over Lisa's shoulder and smiled.

"What have you got there, kiddo?" asked Videl.

"Nothing!" said Lisa as she covered up the paper.

"Oh, come on. You can tell me. I promise I won't tell anyone."

"Well, okay. But it's just between us."

Lisa handed the paper to Videl. Videl looked at the paper and smiled. It was a picture of Trunks holding Lisa. Lisa blushed and looked down. She expected Videl to laugh, but as it turned out, Videl thought it was kind of cute.

"Somebody has a crush on a certain Super Saiyan," said Videl.

Bulma looked over Videl's shoulder at the picture and smiled. She thought it was cute too, although Lisa expected her to laugh too. Bulma leaned against the wall and thought. She wanted to hook Lisa up with her son.

"So you like Trunks? That's so cute," said Bulma.

"You know, we could probably hook you up with him," said Videl.

"Really? You could do that for me?" asked Lisa.

"Oh, sure. We're going to give you a few pointers," said Videl.

"Oh, this is so cute! You know, Trunks has never really had any time in his life for girls. But now that his life is less hectic, I think he may be able to make some time," said Bulma.

"This is great! Thank you so much! I'm going to get to be with Trunks!" said Lisa.

Half an hour later, everybody but Piccolo was gathered in the dining room eating dinner. Lisa sat next to Trunks, Goten sat next to Bart while Bart gave him joking tips, Gohan and Videl sat next to each other, Bulma sat on the opposite side of Trunks, Goku sat with Chi Chi on one side and Homer on the other, and Krillin sat in between Marge and Maggie. He didn't want to sit next to Maggie, but all of the other seats were taken. When Krillin reached for some mashed potatoes, he felt a sharp electric current run through his hand. Maggie reached for the potatoes and couldn't reach them. She turned to Krillin and gave him the evil eye. He quickly grabbed the bowl and dumped the potatoes onto her plate, then he put the bowl back down. He tried to eat the food that was already on his plate, but then he felt another electric shock in his hand. Krillin sighed and dumped his food onto Maggie's plate. Maggie shocked him again just for good measure.

Goku and Homer finished off twenty plates with no trouble at all. They both looked down and saw that there was only one pork chop left. Homer and Goku both reached for the chop at the same time. They both looked up at each other and growled. Below the table, Homer's stomach began to growl. Goku's stomach roared back. Then Homer's stomach barked. Then Goku's stomach charged its ki. Then Homer's stomach rumbled. Then Goku's stomach flexed. Then Homer farted.

"Homer!" scolded Marge.

"It wasn't my fault!" argued Homer.

While Homer was distracted, Goku grabbed the chop with his mouth and swallowed it whole, bones and all. Homer turned back around and saw that the chop was missing. He looked up at Goku and gave him the evil eye.

"Alright, you. Where did that porkchop just go?" asked Homer.

"I...dun...know..." mumbled Goku with his mouth full.

Meanwhile, Lisa was busy trying to remember all the things that Bulma and Videl told her. Bulma nodded to her. Lisa inched her chair a little closer to Trunks. Then she moved her fork until it fell off of the table. Before it got anywhere near the floor, Trunks caught it and handed it back to Lisa.

"Oh, thanks Trunks," said Lisa.

"No problem," said Trunks.

Lisa looked up at Bulma with a "What the hell happened?" kind of look. Bulma shrugged and motioned her head toward Videl. Apparently Trunks was fast enough to catch the fork in midair, which ruined Lisa's...plans. Lisa looked over to Videl, who nodded to her and mouthed the words "Plan Two". Lisa nodded back to her.

"Hey Videl, what's going on?" asked Gohan.

"Can't tell ya," said Videl.

"Why not? What do you know that I don't?"

"I said I can't tell you."

"Is...is it another man?"

"What kind of question is that, Gohan?"

"You...you're cheating on me?"

"No, stupid! I swear to you, there is no other man."

"Alright, I believe you. Wait a minute...is it another woman?"

"What?!"

Everybody looked up at Gohan and Videl. Videl slapped the taste out of Gohan's mouth and knocked him out of his seat. Gohan stood up slowly and wiped his cheek. Videl crossed her arms and turned her back to Gohan. Gohan began to speak, but then everybody else frowned and shook their heads. Gohan sunk in his seat and sighed.

Lisa took the opportunity to start Plan Two. She inched even closer to Trunks. It was time for the plan to come into action. Lisa got out of her seat and turned with her back to Trunks. Trunks looked up and saw her get up.

"Oh no, my shoelaces came undone. I'd better tie them," said Lisa.

Lisa bent over and pretended to tie her shoes. She shook her butt right in Trunks face when she did it. Trunks leaned back in his chair and looked at Lisa's butt. Wait a second, I'm only nine. Should I be looking at someone's butt? What am I doing? I'm so confused! thought Trunks.

"Lisa, what are you talking about? You're shoes don't even have laces," said Homer.

Trunks lost his balance after hearing this and fell back. Lisa slapped her forehead and glared at her father. She looked back and saw Trunks laying on the ground. Quickly she turned around and helped him up.

"Trunks, are you okay?" asked Lisa.

"Yeah, I'm cool. Thanks," said Trunks.

Trunks and Lisa stopped and stared each other in the eyes. They both smiled at each other and stood still. All things considered, it was a good day for the both of them. Maybe things would turn out okay, after all. Things couldn't be more perfect, thought Lisa. Everything is just right. I know that nothing could possibly go wrong today, thought Trunks.

Everything has gone wrong today, thought Vegeta. He looked all around him at all of the old people who were doing absolutely nothing. If they weren't doing anything, they were gathered at the TV watching Matlock, which was actually more boring than doing nothing. Vegeta desperately needed something to do. He walked over to the receptionist's counter and leaned against it.

"Woman, is there nothing for me to do in this drab, boring old place?" asked Vegeta.

"Why, there are plenty of things for you to do, sir," said the receptionist.

"Such as...?"

"Well there are a variety of extracurricular activities. There's pool..with a plastic cue and balls of course, Matlock Time, Sponge Bath Time, Boring Story Time, the 4 P.M. walk, and four nap times a day."

"4?! 4 nap times?!"

"Yes, we don't want to overstimulate the residents."

"God forbid that should happen with such a hectic schedule."

The nurse pointed up at a sign on the wall. Vegeta turned around and looked at the sign. It read: "No Sarcasm Aloud". Vegeta was dumbfounded. He turned back to the nurse with his eyes twitching.

"What the hell is that? I can't stand this prison! I'm leaving!" said Vegeta.

"I'm sorry sir, but you can't leave. All guests are required to stay for at least a week," said the receptionist.

"You must be joking! When did you come up with that stupid rule?!"

"Earlier today, actually."

"Well I don't give a damn! I'm leaving anyway!"

"Oh dear. I'll have to handle this." The receptionist turned on the intercom.

"Now what?" said Vegeta.

"Paging Mr. Buu. Mr. Buu, we have a guest escapee."

"This must be a joke!" said Vegeta.

Vegeta turned around and saw somebody big coming through a door. Sure enough, it was Buu, wearing a suit jacket with his cape over it and his diaper beneath it. Vegeta backed away and charged his ki. Buu walked toward him with a big grin on his face.

"You! When did your fat ass get here?!" asked Vegeta.

"Well, when they're not holding martial arts tournaments, this is my job. Now, what seems to be the problem?" asked Buu.

"This man is trying to leave early," said the receptionist.

"I don't even belong here!" yelled Vegeta.

"Well, the residents so rarely have a guest that we have to force the guest to stay or they might try to ditch the residents," said the receptionist.

"But I didn't even volunteer to be here!"

"That's what they all say."

"I am the prince of the Saiyans! I do as I please, and no woman or pink freak is going to stop me!"

Vegeta walked toward the door. Before he could open it, Buu stepped in front of him. Vegeta looked up at him with a smirk. He held his hand behind his back and charged some ki in it. Buu crossed his arms and stood firm.

"Sorry, Vegeta, but you can't go," said Buu.

"Just try and stop me!" said Vegeta.

Vegeta jumped into the air and tossed a ball of ki into Buu's face. It exploded and blinded him. Vegeta pushed Buu to the side and ran out the front door. He ran as fast as his Super Saiyan legs could carry him, but then he stopped running and kicked his feet in midair. Vegeta looked down and saw a pink tendril wrapped around his waist. Buu pulled his tendril in and drug Vegeta across the ground and all the way back to the building. Vegeta slid across the floor and hit the wall. He stood back up and ran toward Buu. Buu dodged a bunch of crosses and jabs from Vegeta. He wrapped his tendrils around Vegeta again to hold him still.

"Get off of me, you pink freak!" said Vegeta.

"You have to promise not to leave this place," said Buu.

"NEVER!!!!!"

Vegeta hung his head low and charged his ki. Buu tried his hardest to hold him still. When his ki was charged, Vegeta let it explode from his body and blast blew through he wall. Buu flew through the wall and far away until Vegeta couldn't see him anymore. Vegeta turned back to the building and prepared to blow it to smithereens. He charged his ki again and got ready for the Final Flash. Suddenly he felt Buu's ki again. He turned around and saw Buu coming back at him at full power. He pulled his arms to the side and finished charging his ki.

"I'm sick of this place and I'm sick of you! I'm going to finish this right now! FINAL FLASH!!!" yelled Vegeta.

Vegeta put his arms together and fired the blast from both hands. Buu moved to the side just in time to dodge the attack. He looked back to watch it and saw it fall past the horizon. The blast flew until it came near Springfield Elementary. Principal Skinner was busy inspecting the front yard for candy wrappers when a bright light shone down on him. He looked up at Vegeta's blast and screamed.

"Nnnnnnnnooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!" yelled Skinner.

Vegeta panted and started charging his ki again. He wasn't ready to back down yet. He was determined to get out of the Old Folk's Home even if it killed him. He flew up to Buu and continued charging his ki.

"It isn't over yet, Buu! Prepare yourself for true Super Saiyan power!" said Vegeta.

Before Vegeta could transform, he saw something falling from the sky. He moved back just in time to avoid being hit by whatever it was. Principal Skinner flew through the air, in between Vegeta and Buu, and slammed into the ground.

"Help me..." moaned Skinner.

"What the hell is that thing?" asked Vegeta.

Vegeta turned back to Buu and completed the transformation. In a second, he was a Super Saiyan. But he wasn't finished yet. He powered up again and transformed to Super Saiyan 2. And he still wasn't finished. Vegeta powered up and went to Super Saiyan 4 (the big cheater. Only a punk skips Super Saiyan 3!). Finally, he reached Super Saiyan 5.

"Didn't know about this, did you? That fight with Britney Spears payed off!" said Vegeta.

"Britney Spears? What are you..."

"Shut up!"

Vegeta blasted Buu with a barrage of ki beams. Buu flew back and threw his arms up to block. The blasts kept coming. Vegeta grinned while he flattened Buu with the ki attacks. All Buu could do was keep blocking.

"Vegeta, stop it! If you don't, I'll make you pay!" said Buu.

"Oh, please! What could you possibly do, weakling?" said Vegeta.

Buu waved his arms in the air and caused some energy to swirl around him. A purple swirl of light spun around Vegeta's waist. Then the light flew away from Vegeta and went to Buu's hands. Buu put his arms down, and Vegeta looked down at himself.

"What was that? Nothing happened!" said Vegeta.

"Oh no? Why don't you check in your pants?" said Buu.

"What? What are you...what did you...?"

Vegeta opened his pants and looked in them. His head shot back up and he screamed. Buu only floated there and grinned. Vegeta screamed even louder and kept screaming until he sounded like a little girl. He clenched his fist until it began to bleed.

"You turned my nuts into M&M's! You bastard!" yelled Vegeta.

"So, you willing to go back into the home?" asked Buu.

"Hell, no! Now change my nuts back before I chop yours off!"

"You could do that, but mine regenerate, remember?"

"Damn you!"

"Don't be difficult, Vegeta. Just go back in the home and I'll turn your nuts back to normal. I promise."

"...Fine. But you damn well better change them back!"

Vegeta flew back into the home with Buu behind him. He powered down to normal and turned back to Buu. Buu flew into the home and hesitated on purpose. Vegeta got in his face and growled.

"Turn them back! Now!" yelled Vegeta.

"Alright, a promise is a promise," said Buu. He pointed, and Vegeta's testicles were back to normal.

"If you ever do that again, I will send you to the next dimen...I mean hell!" said Vegeta.

"Sure you will Vegeta. Well, you better get ready for bed. It's almost lights out time."

"You can't be serious! It's only 7 o'clock!"

"I know. Sweet dreams."

Buu flew away, leaving Vegeta alone. Vegeta slowly walked to Grandpa Simpson's room and lay on the floor. He was too angry to even try to resist anymore. He just lay on the floor and looked up at the ceiling.

"I can't believe this. We come to this stupid town looking for the Dragon Balls, then I get kicked out of the house and sent to live in some prison for the elderly!" said Vegeta.

"Welcome to my world," said Grandpa.

Recap:

Lisa lay on her bed with her eyes wide awake and a big smile on her face. Good night, Trunks.

Trunks lay in a sleeping bag with an even bigger smile on his face. Good night, Lisa.

Videl lay on a cot with a pissed off look on her face. Another woman, my ass!

Bulma lay on a cot with a smirk. Poor Vegeta must be losing his mind.

Gohan lay on a bed with a frown. Videl's cheating on me with a woman...

Krillin lay on a bed with the covers pulled over his head. That baby is sinister!

Maggie sat straight up and stared at Krillin. Say your prayers, midget boy!

Bart lay in bed with a smile. Goten's gonna be a natural.

Goten lay in a sleeping bag with a smile. I'm gonna be a great comedian someday.

Piccolo sat on the front yard with his eyes closed. Shut up, Nail!

Chi Chi lay in Goku's arms. This is great. I love you so much, Goku.

Goku lay holding Chi Chi. That was a damn good pork chop.

Homer lay in bed with a frown. That pork chop was rightfully mine!

Marge lay in bed with a worried look. Homer's probably mad about the pork chop...

And finally...

Vegeta lay on the floor with an extremely pissed off look. Kill..Bulma. Kill...Buu. Kill...Old man. Kill...them...all!

All this drama, and it had only been one night. Funny how things turn out that way, huh? This is only the beginning of the weirdest adventure never told. Everybody eventually fell asleep, and as they drifted off, they all wondered one thing. What's going to happen tomorrow? thought everybody.

Chapter 4: The Devil Himself

Mr. Burns looked out of the window in his office and smiled. His plans were going perfectly. Once he collected all of the Dragon Balls, he would wish to be the most powerful man in the world. He wouldn't have to worry about his frail old body anymore. And when thinking about this, only one word came to him.

"Excellent," said Mr. Burns aloud.

"Mr. Burns, what do you have planned for today?" asked Smithers.

"Well, I was thinking you could polish my balls today," replied Burns.

"Yes, sir! I'll do it right now!"

"We already have six of them, correct?"

"What? Sir, I thought you meant...yes, sir. We have six Dragon Balls."

"Excellent. We only need one more now. Tell me, Smithers, how did we find all of them anyway?"

"To be honest, some man named Dr. Briefs was selling a radar that detects them at a garage sale."

"Really? What a stroke of good luck."

"Yes, sir, it was."

"So where is the last one?"

"According to the radar, the last one is in this town. Very close, in fact."

"Excellent. In one day, I want that Dragon Ball found."

"Well, what should we do until then, Mr. Burns?"

"Oh, I don't know. Maybe we could do something gay."

"Yes, sir!"

"Perhaps a trip to the casino or the local bordello?"

"But sir, I thought...yes, Mr. Burns."

Chapter 5: Problems

It was Saturday morning.. Lisa was ready for awake half an hour before everyone else and reading, as usual. Bart and Goten were just waking up. Trunks was sitting outside with Piccolo, observing the town. Trunks sat on the lawn and turned to Piccolo.

"Piccolo, can I ask you something?" asked Trunks.

"Go ahead," answered Piccolo.

"How do you get a girl to like you?"

Oh crap! What can I say to this child? He doesn't know that I'm asexual. Okay, I've seen human couples living together before. I'll just tell him the things that I've observed. thought Piccolo.

"Well, Trunks, the best way to get a girl to like you is...tell her sappy things that you thought you'd never be caught dead saying out loud," said Piccolo.

"Really? That works?" asked Trunks.

"Of course. Tell her things like...um... 'Your eyes are like to Dragon Balls. Shiny and orange. Your breasts are like cantaloupe. Shapely, succulent, and delicious. You're behind is like pudding. Smooth, rich, and irresistible. Your penis is like..."

"Piccolo, she's a girl, remember?"

"So? What's your point?"

"She doesn't have a penis, Piccolo."

So that's the difference between men and women! I had no idea!

"Um...right. Well, forget that last part. Besides from that, try the other lines."

"I think I'm asking the wrong person."

"What makes you say that?"

"Well, according to my mom, you're not a guy or a girl."

"What? Then why did you bother asking me?"

"You're the only grown-up that's awake."

"He's got you there!" said Nail.

"Shut your face!" snapped Kami and Piccolo.

"Oh, Piccolo, one more thing. Why is that guy next door aiming at you with a sniper rifle?" asked Trunks.

Piccolo looked up and saw Flanders aiming right at him with a sniper rifle from the roof of his house. The laser sight was right in between his eyes. He moved his head and dodged the bullet that would have struck his head. Flanders ducked low and slipped through a window back into his house.

"Okay, I think I better ask somebody else," said Trunks.

Trunks walked back into the house and into the basement. He saw Gohan sitting on the basement steps and deep in his thoughts. Trunks tapped him on the shoulder and sat next to him. Gohan nodded to him and cupped his head in his hands.

"What's wrong, Gohan?" asked Trunks.

"Ah, nothing. What's with you? Are you okay?" asked Gohan.

"I have a problem."

"Anything I can help with?"

"Maybe. How do you get a girl to like you?"

"Well, my method worked pretty well. Videl kicked my ass, found out I was the Great Saiyaman, forced me into entering a tournament, then I saved her from some Majin guys that beat the crap out of her. She's been in love with me ever since."

"I don't think that'll help. I'm not a superhero, and I don't think Li..uh..this girl likes the violent type."

"Well, why don't you just let her know how you feel about her? Just be totally honest."

"I guess that might work..."

"Yeah, try it out. It worked for me and Videl, it might work for you."

"Wait a minute. Isn't Videl mad at you right now?."

"That's just a minor setback. Besides, Videl worships the ground I walk on. She's just going through a...period of emotional stress right now. It won't last long. I hope..."

"Well, if you're sure. I'll just be honest with the girl."

"Good idea, Trunks. Go try it out."

"Alright. Thanks for the advice, Gohan."

Trunks walked back upstairs and all the way to the top floor. He was walking in a daze, trying to think about everything that Gohan just taught him. What he didn't realize was that Lisa was walking down the hall in a daze as well. They bumped into each other and fell down.

"Trunks!"

"Lisa!"

Trunks stood and helped Lisa up. Lisa brushed herself off and looked up at Trunks.

"Sorry about that," said Lisa.

"It was my fault," said Trunks.

"So, did you sleep well?" asked Lisa.

"Aside from Goten's snoring, I slept great. You?" asked Trunks.

"I slept really well. In fact, I had a pretty good dream last night."

"Really? What about?"

"Well, I dreamt that..."

"Breakfast!" yelled Marge from the kitchen.

In a blur, Goten and Homer raced out of their rooms and into the kitchen. Trunks and Lisa stood there staring after them. Trunks turned back to Lisa, laughed, and scratched the back of his head. Lisa laughed too and looked Trunks in the eyes.

"Okay, back to that dream of yours," said Trunks.

"Right, my dream. I was dreaming about..."

Just then Trunks and Lisa heard someone screaming. Trunks looked up and felt an extremely high power level. He looked around to see what it was that he was feeling. Lisa looked up at him.

"What's that?" asked Lisa.

"It came from down here," said Trunks.

Trunks and Lisa both walked down the hallway in the direction of the sound. They both stopped and entered Maggie's room. They looked on the left of the room at Maggie's crib first. Maggie was still asleep, not bothering anything. Then they looked on the right side of the room. Krillin was laying on the floor, beaten to a bloody pulp. Trunks ran to him and shook him, but he didn't move. Trunks shook him extra hard until he woke up. Krillin's vision came back into focus. The very first thing he saw was Maggie.

"Ah! Get it away from me! Get it away from me!" yelled Krillin.

"What's the matter with you?" asked Trunks.

"That baby is the devil incarnate! Keep her away from me! She beat me up! She's got these weird powers and she's gonna take my head and tie it to her pacifier!"

"Okay, Krillin, I think you need something to eat. Mrs. Simpson just made some breakfast. Why don't you go downstairs and get something to eat okay?"

"Al...alright."

"Maggie, are you okay, baby sister?" asked Lisa.

"Maybe if I get something to eat, I'll feel better..." said Krillin.

"Yeah, man. And lay off the decaf," said Trunks.

"Trunks, would you like to hold Maggie?" asked Lisa.

"Sure, why not?"

Trunks picked up Maggie and smiled. She seemed perfectly innocent. Like the ideal baby. Lisa walked out of the room, and Trunks followed. Krillin walked behind Trunks. Maggie extended her arm behind Trunks and fired a blast back at Krillin. The blast sent him back into the room and into the far wall.

When Trunks and Lisa got downstairs, Goku, Gohan, Goten, and Homer were already eating breakfast. Trunks put Maggie in her chair and then sat down. Lisa sat down next to him. Marge put some food on their plates and then sat next to Homer.

Once again, Goku and Homer were polishing off food like nobody's business. Goku tossed six strips of bacon into his mouth and swallowed. Homer one-upped him and ate eight strips at once. Homer then tossed two boiled eggs in his mouth. Goku tossed six boiled eggs in his. They both stood up from the table and got in each other's faces.

"You think you're so tough! Your stomach couldn't handle the things that mine can!" said Homer.

"You're out of your mind! I have an iron belly!" said Goku.

"I've been hit repeatedly in the stomach with cannon balls!"

"I took on Cell and got my tummy pounded!"

"I ate insanity peppers and lived!"

"I ate Chi Chi's cooking and lived!"

"Okay, you two, settle down," said Marge.

"Alright, Homer. Let's have a contest. An eating contest! If I can eat more than you can, you have to give me that Dragon Ball that you have!" said Goku.

"You mean that orange ball? Fine! Now I hear your some kind of big marital arts guy..."

"Uh...I think you mean 'martial' arts..."

"Yeah, that! If I win, you have to train me in martial arts!"

"Alright, you have yourself a deal!"

Goku and Homer rose from the table and shook hands. Homer gave Goku a confident smirk, and Goku gave Homer a smirk right back. Marge sighed at the thought of all the food that she would have to cook, and Goten, Trunks, and Lisa thought it would be interesting to see. Krillin heard the whole thing on the way down. He was going to say something, but something stopped him. That 'something' was hot oatmeal that Maggie threw in his face. Krillin threw his hands into the air and screamed.

"Babies do the darndest things," said Goku.

"Marge, fire up the stove, the microwave, the grill, and the grill I stole from Flanders last summer. This is going to be the ultimate contest!" said Homer.

"Oh, Homer, I can't cook all of that food in one day!" said Marge.

"Sure you can! Come on Marge, this is my life's goal!"

"You're life's goal was to climb into the ring during the main event at Wrestlemania, and you did it last month! Remember?" Marge pointed at a newspaper that was hanging on the wall. The banner headline read: "Idiot Gives the Stone Cold Stunner to the Rock".

"Oh, no that was the life's goal for last month! This month it's the eating contest!" said Homer.

"Oh, dear Lord..."

Just then Chi Chi and Videl walked into the kitchen.

"What's going on?" asked Chi Chi.

"Homer and Goku are going to have an eating contest..." said Marge.

"Oh no. This is going to be a catastrophe..." said Videl.

"Who's going to cook all that food?" asked Chi Chi.

"...me," said Marge.

"I can't let you do that alone. I'll help you Marge. But if we have to cook all of that food, Goku is going to have to pay," said Chi Chi.

"Homer will have to pay, too," said Marge.

"How do we have to pay?" said Homer and Goku.

"No sex for a month!" said Chi Chi and Marge.

"I fail to see the threat," said Homer and Goku.

"This is gonna be something to see," said Goten.

"Yeah, I can't wait to see that," said Trunks.

Suddenly, everybody heard a series of gunshots. Marge looked out the window and saw Flanders ducking into his house. She stuck her head out and turned to see Piccolo. Piccolo was pissed off and heading to Flanders's house to get revenge.

"Get out here right now!" yelled Piccolo.

"Back, demon! Back!" said Flanders.

Flanders walked out of the house with two rifles in his hands. He sprayed bullets toward Piccolo until both weapons were out of ammo. Piccolo stretched his arms toward Flanders and grabbed him by his throat. He pulled him toward him and lifted him into the air.

"Why do you keep attacking me?" asked Piccolo.

"Because you're a de-diddly..."

"Stop saying that! This is your last warning. Cross me again and I will introduce your face to your colon!" said Piccolo.

Piccolo hurled Flanders back to his house and through the window. Flanders crashed into his couch and toppled over backwards. Rod and Todd ran to him and helped him up. Flanders ran to his phone book and flipped through it.

"What are you doing, Daddy?" asked Rod.

"There's only one thing I can do. I have to call Reverend Lovejoy!" said Flanders.

The day passed, and there was a ton of food sitting in the Simpsons' dining room by the middle of the afternoon. Everybody else went off to do their own thing while Marge and Chi Chi cooked. Videl was sitting alone on a swing set in the back yard. Gohan flew to the roof of the house and looked down at her.

Videl...she can't be cheating. What was I thinking? This is the love of my life. She would never cheat on my, especially with a woman. I have to get her to forgive me somehow, but what can I say? thought Gohan.

That bastard doesn't think I see him. Oh, but I do. Gohan is going to pay for accusing me of cheating on him. It's time for revenge! thought Videl.

Gohan stepped forward on the roof. Suddenly, he felt something on his foot. It was a bear trap. Gohan flailed his arms around and screamed in pain. He lost his balance, toppled backwards, and fell off of the roof. Videl got up and looked down at him.

"Don't you look pathetic?" said Videl.

"Videl, I..."

"Don't even try to sweet talk me, Gohan! Another woman?! I can't believe you would even consider that!"

Videl stomped back into the house. Gohan stood up slowly and rubbed the back of his head. Then he felt somebody's ki and looked over his shoulder at the bushes. A finger pointed through the bushes and pointed straight at Gohan.

"Ha Ha!" laughed Nelson.

Goten paced around the room and bit his fingernails. Bart leaned against the wall and shook his head. Goten was being way too afraid to make the call. Bart picked up the phone and put it in Goten's hand.

"You can do it, Goten. I taught you well, young grasshopper. Make me proud," said Bart.

"...Alright! I'll do it!" said Goten.

Goten grabbed the phone and dialed the number. After a few rings, Moe picked up the phone. Goten nervously looked at Bart. Bart nodded back to him and gave him a thumbs-up.

"Moe's Tavern," said Moe.

"Uh..um..I'm looking for someone..." said Goten.

"Does someone have a name?"

"Um...yeah."

"You wanna tell me what it is?"

"Um...Arthur Itis. Last name, Itis. First name, Arthur."

"What the hell?" said Bart.

"Hold on, I'll check." Moe turned to everyone in the bar. "Arthur Itis! Arthur Itis! Phone call for Arthur Itis!"

A man walked up to Moe.

"I'm Arthur Itis," said Arthur.

"Phone call." Moe gave the phone to Arthur.

"Hello? Can I help you?" asked Arthur.

"Ah! Quick, what do I do?!" asked Goten.

"Hang up the phone! Hang up the phone!" yelled Bart.

Goten hung up the phone and tossed it back to Bart. Bart shook his head and sat on the bed.

"So, how did I do? What's my grade?" asked Goten.

"Sorry Goten, but you got a D on that one," said Bart.

"How come?"

"Well, your delivery was bad, you panicked, and 'Arthur Itis' isn't really all that funny. You did get points for originality, though."

"I'm never gonna be able to do this!"

"Sure you will, Goten. It takes a little time. Tell you what. You have one day to come up with one that's really funny."

"One day? I don't know if I can do that."

"One day is plenty of time! I believe in you. You can become a great comedian."

"Alright, if you say so." How can I come up with a good prank in only one day?

The stage was set. Gohan desperately needed to get Videl's forgiveness. Trunks needed to find a way to let Lisa know how he felt about her. Goten faced the task of becoming a great comedian. Piccolo had to live through the torment of being badgered by Ned Flanders. Krillin had to find a way to survive the demon child known as Maggie Simpson. Bulma was still wearing nothing but a G-String. Chi Chi and Marge had to cook like they had never cooked in their entire lives. And Goku and Homer were going to have the world's biggest eating contest. What was going to happen next? To find out, you'll have to stay tuned! To see the next chapter, come back next time for...wait a minute. The next chapter is right down there! Oh, go ahead and read on, then!

Chapter 6: Burns's Plan

Mr. Burns looked over all of the Dragon Balls that were in his desk in the office. There were already six of them gathered. He only needed to get one more in order to reach full power. Then he would be the most powerful man in the world.

"Ah, it feels so good to get everything I want. I wonder what I'll do once I'm the strongest man on Earth? Smithers, what should I do when I make my wish?" asked Burns.

"Well sir, you could become the ruler of the eight ring of hell," replied Smithers.

"Why would I want to be the ruler of Alabama?"

"You're right, sir. How silly of me."

"Hmm...perhaps I'll take over a fun place, like Jamaica. Wouldn't that be grand, Smithers? We could walk around naked as the day God made us and nobody would think twice about it."

"Mmmm...oh, I'm sorry, sir. I was developing a mental picture."

"Yes, I too can't stop thinking of the scantily clad Jamaican women."

"I know, all of those half-naked me...uh...women. Right, women."

"Ah, only one more day..."

"Yes, Mr. Burns."

Chapter 7: Vegeta's Great Escape

It was only the second day, and Vegeta was already about to lose his mind. Two elderly women had been flirting with him since Buu forced him to stay, Grandpa Simpson snored like crazy at night, he had to share the same bedpan as Grandpa, and somebody tried to pull the teeth out of his mouth in the middle of the night because they claimed he stole their dentures. They were still doing an autopsy to identify the resident. The body was burnt beyond recognition, after all.

It was 4 P.M. and the other residents were in another room playing bingo. The nurse was in the room with them calling off their numbers. There was only one obstacle left: Buu. Vegeta had to stop him and get out of the home. And he had a plan to do it. He ran to a broom closet and hid in it. Thanks to his training on Planet Vegeta, he could stay in the closet for days without moving a muscle. Compared to the night he just had, it was like paradise in the closet.

The hours passed by, and by 6 P.M. it was dinner time. The residents gathered in the dining room while the nurse searched for them and checked all of their names off on a notepad. She came to Vegeta's name and looked around. He was nowhere around. She walked around and looked more closely. He still wasn't there. She walked over to Grandpa, who was struggling to eat his strained peas.

"Mr. Simpson, have you seen your visitor lately?" asked the nurse.

"You mean Vegetable? Nope, haven't seen him in a couple of years," said Grandpa.

"Years? Mr. Simpson, have you taken your medicine today?"

"Depends. What century is this?"

"This is not good. He couldn't have tried to leave again..." The nurse walked back to the intercom. "Attention, we have a runaway. Repeat, a runaway."

Buu flew into the room in record time and flew toward the desk.

"Is it Vegeta again?" asked Buu.

"You know it is," said the nurse.

"Don't worry. I'll sense his ki and figure out where he is." Buu searched through the ki of everybody in the home until he found a strong power level. He and the nurse ran to the source of the power and stopped in front of the broom closet.

"In there?" asked the nurse.

"Yes. Stand back," said Buu.

Buu kicked the door to the closet and looked in. Vegeta wasn't in there, but there was a mop. The mop was glowing bright yellow with a white aura around it. Buu reached forward and grabbed it. The mop made a loud whining sound and exploded in Buu's face.

Vegeta was far, far away from the home by the time Buu fell for his trick. It really was too simple. Vegeta just had to charge that broom with his ki and let Buu make a fool of himself. Now he needed somewhere to hide. The house was too obvious. Vegeta decided to hide at the school, which was being prepared for demolition thanks to his fight with Buu the other night. He was almost free now.

Chapter 8: The Contest

"Alright, the food's almost ready. You ready, Homer?" asked Goku.

"The question isn't whether or not I'm ready. The question is if your little sissy stomach can take this contest!" said Homer.

"Yeah, well we'll see. You better go get that Dragon Ball, because I'm going to take it as soon as this contest is over," said Goku.

Chi Chi and Marge were calling upon all of the strength they had within to finish cooking the food. It had taken them all day, but they finally managed to finish it all. All of the food was lined up on the dining room table, and there wasn't any room for anything else on the entire table. The contest was ready to begin. But Chi Chi and Marge were too tired to move.

"Okay...we'll take a nap and then we can start the contest..." Chi Chi panted.

"That's...alright...with...me..." Marge panted.

Marge and Chi Chi dropped in the middle of the floor and fell asleep. They finally had a moment to rest. But only one moment. Goten walked into the room and saw all of the food on the table. His eyes lit up and a broad smile shown across his face.

"The food is ready! The contest can start now!" said Goten.

Goku and Homer ran into the room and sat on each side of the table with their mouths watering. Chi Chi and Marge woke up and saw them both sitting at the table. They stood up and looked around in shock.

"Who told them the food was ready?" asked Chi Chi.

Goten walked away and whistled.

"Oh no...we're going to need some time to rest," said Marge.

"Rest later. Eat now," said Goku and Homer.

In a couple of minutes, Bulma, Trunks, Goten, Lisa, Gohan, Videl, Bart, Maggie, Krillin, and even Piccolo were gathered into the room to watch the contest. Gohan tried to sit next to Videl, but she moved her seat away from him. Trunks and Lisa sat next to each other, and Marge placed Maggie in Krillin's lap. Krillin shook and stammered. Maggie looked over her shoulder at him and gave him an evil smirk.

"Alright, let's get this thing started!" said Goku.

"You look anxious to lose!" said Homer.

"This is gonna be a great show," said Goten.

"Yeah, Lisa is sexy..." said Trunks.

"What?" said Bart, Lisa, and Goten.

"Um...what Goten said..." said Trunks.

"Alright, we'll get this out of the way, then it's bed time. In this corner, weighing in at 217 pounds, at 6 feet 3 inches tall, 6 feet 8 inches if you count the hair, in the orange and blue gi, the Legendary Super Saiyan: Goku!" Chi Chi announced Goku.

"And in this corner, weighing in at...325 pounds...standing at 6 feet 2 inches tall, 6 feet...2.5 inches...if you count the hair, in the tight white shirt and even tighter blue pants, the Bottomless Pit: Homer!" Marge announced Homer.

Gohan inspected Goku and Homer's forks, spoons, knives, napkins, and stomachs. Everything was as it needed to be. Now he was ready to do the referee thing.

"Alright you two, I'm the referee. Now let's get a few things straight. There will be no hitting below the belt. Oh wait what am I saying? Don't hit each other period! Man, I knew I was gonna screw that part up! Anyway, keep your elbows off the tables at all times. I want a good, messy feast. Are you ready, Homer?" asked Gohan.

"Let's get ready to rumble!!" said Homer.

"Uh...you don't get to say that," said Gohan.

"Oh sorry. My bad. I'm ready," said Homer.

"Are you ready, Dad?" asked Gohan.

"Uh...what am I doing now?" asked Goku.

"Ugh...Dad, eating contest. Remember?!" said Gohan.

"Oh, right, that thing! I'm ready," said Goku.

"Alright. Come out of your corners and come out eating. Wait, you don't have corners...whatever, just start eating when I say so. Ready, Ring Announcer?" said Gohan.

"I won't say it!" said Piccolo.

"Come on, I'll never ask you for anything ever again."

"No, I won't do it!"

"Piccolo, remember when I saved you and everyone else from Cell. Remember when I fought Super Buu when be absorbed you? Remember when I was the only person who showed up at your birthday party?!"

"You're never going to let me forget that...fine, I'll do it."

"Yes! Thanks Piccolo!"

"Ugh...for the twelve people in attendance, and the millions reading this dumb-ass story that some idiot wrote because he has no life, ladies and gentleman...oh this is so embarrassing...let's get ready to..."

"Wait a minute! With feeling, damn it! With feeling!"

"Bitch ass motherf...LET'S GET READY TO RUMBLE!!!"

With that, Homer and Goku dove into the food. The food on one side of the table was Homer's, while the food on the other side was Goku's. They both tore through waves of food like it was nothing. Goku grabbed two turkey legs and a ham and stuffed them both into his mouth. He struggled to force them both down his throat without killing himself. Homer was getting started on softer food first, like potatoes and bread. Goku channeled his ki to his throat and forced the food down, then he tackled what was left of the turkey. Homer grabbed his own turkey and took a big bite out of it. Goku grabbed three filets of fish and ate them bones and all. Homer greedily shoved food into his face as fast as he could with both hands and one foot. Goku didn't even bother to use his hands. He just dug his face into the food and ate away. He looked up from the food for a second and saw that Homer just had a steak and a pork chop left. Goku had two steaks and half a chicken. He had to hurry up. Homer devoured the pork chop and started on the steak. Goku only had one choice left. He powered up and transformed into a Super Saiyan and tore at the food with lighting speed. Each of them only had a little steak left. Goku grabbed the last part of the steak and brought it to his lips, but then he stopped. Something felt wrong. Goku doubled over and clutched his stomach. Oh no! Indigestion! Not now! he thought. Homer was barely able to keep his eyes open. He saw that Goku was having trouble. Both of them only needed to put forth just a little effort, but neither of them could do it. They had reached a stalemate. Homer picked up the last bit of steak and put it to his lips. Goku shoved the last bit of steak into his mouth and started to chew. Homer had no other choice. There was no time to chew. He just tossed the last piece of steak into his mouth and swallowed it whole. Goku finished chewing, swallowed, and looked up in shock. Homer was already done the food. The contest was over, and Homer was the winner. Homer stood up and burped triumphantly.

"Oh no, I lost," said Goku.

"Woo-hoo!" yelled Homer.

"I'm shocked...Homer won," said Gohan.

"Unreal. That was real close," said Trunks.

"There, it's all over. Now, who's going to clean up this mess?" asked Marge.

In a blur, everybody but Marge was gone from the room.

"Mmmm..." Marge grunted.

Goku and Homer fell onto the front lawn and stretched out. Both of them were tired and stressed out. Goku turned his head to look at Homer. Homer tried to turn his head to look at Goku, but he couldn't.

"Congrats, Homer. You beat me," said Goku.

"You shot who in the what now?" said Homer.

"Nevermind. I'm too tired to talk about it."

"Yeah, I see fairies too..."

Chapter 9: The Aftermath

Marge was busy cleaning up the dining room. Chi Chi was taking a nap in the basement. Videl was sitting alone on the back porch. Gohan was laying on the roof and thinking about his problems. Goten was struggling to come up with a good joke. Trunks and Lisa were struggling with their feelings. Bulma was still wearing nothing but a G-String. Piccolo was dodging machine gun fire from Reverend Lovejoy and Ned Flanders. Vegeta was hiding from the people at the Old Folks' Homer. Bart was thinking of a way to help Goten. Krillin was cowering in the corner of the room. Maggie was pondering over different ways to kill Krillin. Goku was laying on his back wondering how he was going to get the Dragon Ball. Homer was laying on his back wondering why the fairies wouldn't go away. And Mr. Burns was preparing to strike. By the next day, he was going to get that Dragon Ball. Burns was ready to become the strongest man in the world. Next chapter: Everything is settled! Will Trunks finally let Lisa know how he feels? Will Goten become a comedian at long last? Will Piccolo escape the wrath of Flanders and Lovejoy? Will Goku get the Dragon Ball? Will Homer stop hallucinating? Will Marge get the dining room clean? Will Bulma put on some clothes? Will Gohan make up with Videl? Will Maggie finally kill Krillin? Will Burns become the strongest man in the world? Will I stop asking such annoying questions? There's only one way to find out! Come back in three weeks for the ultimate...wait a frickin' second! Three weeks? What the...That's it!

Blaque Cell: Hey, why do the people have to wait three weeks when they can just scroll down and see the final chapter right down there?

Executive: Because we want to keep them in suspense.

Blaque Cell: Screw suspense! I promised these good people a story, and that's what I'm going to give them!

Executive: I'm sorry, sir, but it's good business. You understand.

Blaque Cell: Fool, I'm a Black man! I don't understand good business! All I know is that a story was promised, and nothing's gonna stop me from telling it!

Executive: Sir, if you would just...

Blaque Cell: *Ki blasts the executive into dust* Damn stupid crackhead....Sorry about that, folks. The final chapter is next! Read on!

Chapter 10: The Finale

It was 11 A.M. Trunks was walking around the house and into the backyard. He saw Lisa sitting on the swing set alone. It seemed as though she was thinking about something. Trunks walked up to the swing set and sat next to Lisa.

"Hey, Trunks," said Lisa.

"Hey, Lisa," said Trunks.

"Is your friend Goku okay? He seemed kind of worn out."

"Oh yeah, he's fine. He's a bottomless pit. What about your dad? Is he okay?"

"He'll be fine in a little while. But what are you going to do? Didn't you need that Dragon Ball thing?"

"Yeah. I guess my mom will figure it all out or something."

"I hope she does. So...what's new?"

"Nothing much. What's with you? Looked like you were thinking about something."

"Well, I did have something on my mind..."

"Really? So did I..."

"Seriously? What about?"

"Um..nothing special. Just...life...and stuff."

"That's what I was thinking about too."

"Yeah. Listen, I have to tell you something."

"I have to tell you something too."

"Lisa..."

"Trunks..."

"I like you," they both said together. Trunks and Lisa both looked at each other and smiled. Lisa leaned over and kissed Trunks on the cheek.

"You know it would never work out, right?" asked Lisa.

"Yeah, I know. I'm the descendant of a royal bloodline of monkey people who can change the color of their hair, fly, and shoot ki blasts, and you're a second grade student. And we live nowhere near each other," said Trunks.

"Well, at least now we don't have it all bottled up inside, right?" said Lisa.

"Yeah, I guess you're right. I'm just glad you felt the same way about me."

Lisa leaned over and kissed Trunks again. He kissed her back and watched her walk back into the house. He scratched the back of his head and smiled. Then he saw something. Trunks looked up and saw Gohan on the roof. He flew up to the roof and landed on it.

"How long have you been standing here?" asked Trunks.

"Long enough, Lover-Boy," said Gohan.

"I guess you're gonna laugh at me, right?"

"Why would I? You handled that perfectly."

"I did?"

"Sure. You let her know how you feel, and you didn't even choke. I'm proud of you, Trunks."

"Thanks, Gohan!" Trunks laughed and hugged his friend.

"Now, there's something I have to do," said Gohan.

"Good luck," said Trunks.

"Thanks. I'm gonna need it."

Gohan floated down to the ground and walked into the house. He walked upstairs and into Lisa's room. Videl was sitting and staring out of the window. She didn't even know he was there. Gohan snuck up on Videl and kissed her on the cheek. She turned around and looked at him. Gohan tried giving her that Son smile that usually worked when women were mad, but it didn't work this time. Videl turned back to the window and looked out of it.

"Videl, I'm sorry. I don't really think you're cheating on me. I was overreacting. Can you forgive me?" said Gohan.

Videl said nothing back.

"Oh, come on! I didn't mean it! The only real reason I accused you was because I was frustrated. I mean, I didn't think we would ever have a kid, so I guess I just took it out on you. I'm really sorry, Videl."

Videl said nothing back.

"Well, I'm going to go downstairs now. I'll understand if you wanna hate me for life. Just please, don't cut off my penis in a fit of rage. That's all I ask."

Gohan started to walk toward the door. Then he heard Videl.

"Wait," said Videl.

Gohan stopped and turned around.

"Gohan, you don't need to feel frustrated," said Videl.

"Why not?" asked Gohan.

"Let me put it this way. We only have about nine months to come up with a name."

Gohan smiled and hugged Videl tight. He picked her up and spun around. When he put her down, the embraced and kissed. Videl looked up at Gohan and smiled.

"So, what kind of name should we give the baby? I'm thinking something like...Pot," said Videl.

"Um, honey, maybe we should stick with something like...Pan," said Gohan.

"Pan? I kinda like that," said Videl.

Piccolo was sitting outside of the house and meditating again. Then he heard some kind of rumbling. He stood up and looked down the street. A big group of people holding crosses, torches, and pitchforks were walking down the street, led by Ned Flanders and Reverend Lovejoy.

"There he is! There's the demon!" yelled Lovejoy.

"Oh, not this again..." said Piccolo.

"Be careful, everyone! He'll tear you apar-diddly-art!" yelled Flanders.

"What is the meaning of this?" said Piccolo.

"This is an exorcism, demon. And we have come to exorcise...you!" said Lovejoy.

"This is ridiculous. I can't be exorcised, because I'm not a demon in the sense that you're thinking of."

"What do you mean?"

"I'm not a demon from hell, fool, I'm a demon spawn of the evil part of a good person."

"Did you hear that? He said he knows Spawn! Spawn is the devil!" said Mrs. Lovejoy.

"No, I said I am a spawn, not...this is so foolish..." said Piccolo.

"Don't listen to his lies! Finish him!" yelled Lovejoy.

"You people are more idiotic that Mr. Satan, you know that?!" said Piccolo.

"He said 'Mr. Satan'! He's referring to the devil with respect!" said Lovejoy.

"Enough of this! Leave me alone, now!" demanded Piccolo.

"Get him!" somebody in the crowd yelled.

The crowd ran to Piccolo and rushed him. They all bombarded him and hit him at once. Piccolo wanted to fight back, but he didn't want to kill them...well he did want to kill them but...damn it you know what I mean! Piccolo flew above the crowd and high into the air. The sun shone down right on his back. Piccolo put his hands to each side of his face.

"Solar Flare!" Piccolo yelled.

Piccolo expected sunlight to blind the people, but nothing happened. Piccolo looked confused.

"Wait, I thought I could do that technique! Damn FUNIma..."

A rock hit Piccolo in the head and stopped him from talking. He fell to the ground and was stomped by the mob. Lovejoy put a cross in his face and yelled.

"Demon, I proclaim you...exorcised!" said Lovejoy.

Bright light emerged from Piccolo's body and flew away. Piccolo suddenly felt a lot weaker. When he looked up, everybody had run away. Piccolo stood up and looked down at himself. Something didn't feel right, but he didn't know what it was. He tried to fly, but his feet never left the ground.

"No! They exorcised the power out of me!" yelled Piccolo.

Goku walked out of the house and approached Piccolo. Piccolo looked extremely pissed off. Goku tapped Piccolo on the shoulder.

"Hey Piccolo, what's wrong?" asked Goku.

"They...they just performed an exorcism on me!" said Piccolo.

"You mean like in the movie?"

"Yes! The worst part is, they exorcised out my source of strength, so now I'm about as strong as Dende."

Goku slapped his hand to his forehead and laughed out loud. He fell to the ground, grabbed his stomach, and rolled around laughing. Piccolo just stood and glared down at him.

"Damn it. No wonder I suck in GT..." said Piccolo.

Goten paced around Bart's room and stared down at the telephone. Bart sat on the bed and looked at him. It was sad. Goten really was nervous. Bart started to wonder if Goten really did have what it takes to be a comedian.

"Goten, are you ready yet?" asked Bart.

"I don't know. I don't think I can do it," said Goten.

"Hey, do you want me to call him first to warm you up?" asked Bart.

"Yeah, that would help," said Goten.

Bart picked up the phone and dialed the number for Moe's. Moe picked up on the other end.

"Moe's Tavern," said Moe.

"Yes, I'm looking for a Mr. Zahut, first name Pete," said Bart.

"Hold on. I'll check." Moe turned to the people in the bar. "Pete Zahut! Pete Zahut!"

Goten snickered to himself. Bart started to snicker too.

"Hey, Pete Zahut! I want Pete Zahut!" yelled Moe.

A few people in the bar started to laugh. Moe struggled to figure out why. Then he figured it out. He turned back to the phone.

"Listen, you little punk, I'm gonna..."

Bart hung up the phone and turned to Goten. Goten bit his fingernails and twiddled is fingers and thumbs. Bart held the phone out to him.

"Goten, it's time. You can do it."

"Alright. I'm ready!" said Goten.

Goten took the phone and slowly dialed the number. This was the single most difficult thing he had ever done in his entire life. But he was ready to get the job done. He finished dialing the number and turned to Bart. Moe picked up on the other end.

"Moe's Tavern," said Moe.

"Yes, I'm looking for a Mr. McCrevice. First name Phil," said Goten.

"Hold on, I'll check." Moe turned to the people in the bar again. "Phil McCrevice! Phil McCrevice! Hey, Phil McCrevice! Why can't I get any help here? Phil McCrevice! Somebody, Phil McCrevice!"

Everybody in the bar burst out loud with laughter. Goten and Bart both laughed as loud as they could and hit the floor. Goten hung up the phone and wiped tears from his eyes. He had finally reached his goal. He was now a comedian. Goten couldn't be more proud of himself.

"Goten, you did it!" said Bart.

"Yeah, I'm finally a comedian! I'm as funny as Jamie Foxx!" said Goten.

"Uh..Goten...that's not saying much...But you are funny. You have completed your test, young grasshopper."

Bart bowed to Goten like in an old, bad, poorly-dubbed kung-fu movie. Goten bowed back to Bart. The task was completed. The young grasshopper had become the...old grasshopper. And Goten wouldn't have it any other way.

"Heh...Phil McCrevice...that's a good one..."said Goten.

Krillin was sound asleep in the floor of Maggie's room. He had lost so much sleep the past few nights that he just couldn't stay awake any longer. Little did he know that his life was in danger. Maggie floated out of her crib and walked over to Krillin. She climbed onto his back and raised her hand into the air. Her nails grew especially long, and she prepared to slash him dead. Krillin felt something on his back and woke up. He turned his neck and saw Maggie on his back with her claw aimed to swipe at him.

"Ahhh! Get it off me! Get it off me!" yelled Krillin.

"Flanders was wrong. Your friend Piccolo isn't the one who's possessed by the devil," said Maggie.

"You...you're Satan?" asked Krillin.

"Of course, fool. What did you think? What other baby do you know that would shoot an old man?"

"That baby from Texas."

"Oh yeah. Well, that doesn't count! I am the prince of darkness, and I have the greatest plan ever!"

"What is it that you want?"

"What better way to spread evil than to possess a baby? Nobody ever suspects the baby! With this body, I can commit all of the evil deeds that I want and nobody can stop me!"

"But, why did you want to kill me so badly?"

"I was bored. And now that you know that I am the devil, I must kill you!"

"No! I'm going to stop you, Satan!"

Krillin stood up and backed toward the wall. Maggie, who was still on his back, was slammed into the wall. She swiped at Krillin's neck and put a three inch gash on his neck. Krillin reached over his shoulder, grabbed Maggie, and threw her to the ground. She got back up, crawled under Krillin, and punched him in the groin. Krillin doubled over in pain, and Maggie bit him below the belt and wouldn't let go. Krillin ran all around the house screaming with Maggie hanging from his crotch. He ran into Homer and Marge's room with his arms flailing.

"Help! Get it off!" yelled Krillin.

Krillin ran back out of the room with Maggie still hanging from his crotch. Marge sat up and tried to make sense of what just happened.

"Aw, our little girl's growing up," said Homer.

Krillin ran back into Maggie's room and ran straight into the wall. Maggie was knocked loose from Krillin and fell to the floor. She crawled back under Krillin, grabbed each leg, crawled behind him, and tripped him. Krillin's jaw hit the floor hard. Maggie crawled back onto his back and grabbed him by the throat. Krillin was having the life strangled out of him by a baby. Maggie repeatedly slammed Krillin's head into the floor, then she repeatedly punched him in the back of the neck.

"Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!" yelled Krillin.

"Die, you mortal scum!" yelled Maggie.

Krillin reached back and grabbed Maggie again. Maggie bit his hand and continued punching his neck. With all of his strength, Krillin ran energy through Maggie's body and weakened her. Then he tossed her over his shoulder and into a nearby wall. Maggie fell to the floor, then a bright light began to flash around her. A reddish-purple mist rose from her body, and then there was a flash red light. When the smoke settled, a tall, red, naked man with horns, a tail, and a pitch fork was standing in front of Krillin.

"Now you will face me in my true form! Muahahaha!" Satan laughed.

"What the...?" said Krillin.

Satan swiped his pitch fork and slashed all of Krillin's hair off. He was bald all over again. Krillin grabbed his head and screamed. He glared at Satan and jumped toward him with a barrage of jabs. Satan backed away and fired a blast that knocked Krillin across the room. Satan roared with laughter and got ready to strike Krillin dead. Just then, Maggie crawled to Satan and stuck her pacifier up his buttcrack. Satan looked down at Maggie and screamed. It was at that moment that he really, really needed to fart. With the pacifier blocking the passageway, the gas built up and blew Satan to bits. The devil had just been killed by a baby.

Krillin looked up at all the green and red gas that was left after Satan's explosion. The pacifier landed in right in front of him. Maggie crawled up to Krillin. Krillin threw his hand over his head and got ready for a beating, but then Maggie did something that shocked him: she hugged him. Krillin was surprised but happy. He hugged Maggie back and laughed. It was Satan after all, and Maggie was a good baby. Maggie reached down, grabbed her pacifier, and offered it to Krillin.

"Your pacifier? Sure, why not?" said Krillin.

Krillin put the pacifier in his mouth and sucked on it, imitating Maggie. He was happy that the fight was finally over. But there was one thing wrong. Krillin took the pacifier out of his mouth and looked at it in disgust.

"This thing was just up the devil's asscrack! Ewwwww!" said Krillin.

Maggie only giggled. The devil may have been out of her, but that didn't mean she was exactly an angel.

It was about 4 P.M. now. Everything had been resolved, except for one thing. What was going to be done about the Dragon Balls? Goku and Chi Chi sat on the front couch holding each other. It was obvious that Goku was troubled about something.

"Goku, what's the matter?" asked Chi Chi.

"I'm just not sure what we're going to do about that Dragon Ball? I lost the contest, and now I have to train Homer in martial arts. Which is fine, except now we don't have any way of getting the Dragon Ball. Maybe we should have a rematch or..."

"NO!" exclaimed Chi Chi. "What I mean is, that isn't necessary, dear. If you ask, I'm sure he'll just give you the Dragon Ball"

Five minutes later...

"Please give me the Dragon Ball, Homer!" said Goku.

"Nope," said Homer.

"I'll be your friend!"

"Nope."

"Oh, you're mean!"

Back at the couch with Chi Chi...

"I tried my most difficult persuasive techniques, but they didn't work. What should I do, Chi Chi?" asked Goku.

"Well, maybe we should just forget it and go home," said Chi Chi.

"I guess, but I don't like the idea of what he might do with it. He might wish to..."

"Goku, the world's food supply is fine!"

Suddenly, the house started to shake and rock. A bunch of men in riot gear ran into the house and tore apart everything in their path. Behind them came Burns and Smithers. The men ran all around the house and broke, tore, shot, or blew up anything they could. Six of the men ran upstairs and came back forcing Marge and Homer into the living room.

"Move it, Fatty!" said one of the men to Homer.

"I'm not fat! I'm festively plump!" said Homer.

"Where is my Dragon Ball?" said Burns.

"What the hell? Oh, you mean that orange thingy. Ha! Well there's no way you're going to get me to tell you that it's hidden behind the melons in the refrigerator! No way at...D'oh!" yelled Homer.

"Even I'm not that stupid!" said Goku.

"Search the refrigerator," said Burns to one of his men. The man ran into the kitchen and came back with the Dragon Ball.

"Here it is, boss," said the man.

"Excellent. Now, it's time to make my wish!" said Burns.

Burns walked outside of the house and placed the Dragon Balls on the front lawn. A group of the men stood with their rifles aimed at Goku, Chi Chi, Marge, and Homer.

"Goku, you're strong, right? Can't you stop these people?" asked Marge.

"Well, yeah," said Goku.

"So why don't you?"

"Because that would take all of the suspense out of it!"

"What? What kind of logic is that?"

"Well, duh! If I were to beat these guys up and stop that old man from making a wish, there would be no final battle! I have to let him have his way, and then go stop him after he's super powerful and pretty much impossible to beat!" said Goku.

"Don't worry Marge," said Homer. "That green guy is out there. He can stop Mr. Burns for us."

Burns effortlessly held Piccolo back, and he hadn't even made his wish yet. Burns placed his hand on Piccolo's forehead and held him back. Piccolo made a bunch of sissy-swings and hit nothing but air. Because of Flanders and Lovejoy, not only was Piccolo weak, he was also weaker than Mr. Burns.

"Mr. Burns, do you want me to handle him?" asked Smithers.

"No Smithers, it's been a long time since I actually beat someone up on my own," said Burns.

"I'll stop you! I am a Super Namek! I can defeat you!" said Piccolo.

"Oh, sure you can, old chum." Burns plucked Piccolo on the head and knocked him down. Piccolo fell to the ground, grabbed his head, and rolled around like a little bitch.

"Ahhh! It hurts! He's too powerful!" yelled Piccolo.

"And now to make my wish," said Burns.

Burns walked over to the Dragon Balls and started to kick them. He tried to push them around, but they were too heavy for him. Smithers picked them all up and put them in one spot. Burns stood over the Dragon Balls and raised his hands in the air.

"Arise, Dragon! Grant me my wish!" yelled Burns.

The sky turned dark gray, and then black. Lightning bolts struck down all around them. One bolt hit Flanders's house and set it on fire. The Dragon Balls began to glow. Then, a light shone out of it. There was a flash of light, and then a light image of Shenlong appeared. It flew into the air and materialized. Now Shenlong stood in front of the house. Flanders carried Rod and Todd out of their burning house and looked at Shenlong.

"Oh no! It's another demon!" yelled Flanders.

"I am Shenlong, the Eternal Dragon. I will grant you one wish, and one wish only, except the hours between 11 P.M. and 12 A.M. That's Shenlong's time! What is your wish?" asked Shenlong.

"Dragon, I wish to become the most powerful man on Earth, if only for a little while, so that I may slap my foes around like whores and call them Susan!" said Burns.

"Very well," said Shenlong.

Yellow energy swirled around Burns. He grew a foot taller, his skinny arms bulged with huge muscles, his legs became bigger, and mis midsection became more muscular. Burns was now the strongest man in the world.

"You're wish has been granted. I bid you, peace out," said Shenlong.

"Peace out?" said Burns.

"Wazzup?!" said Shenlong.

"What?"

"What are you doing?!"

"You're not making any sense, man!"

"Oh, I wish I could be hip..."

With that, the dragon flew away. The Dragon Balls flew away with him, and then the sky turned back to normal. Burns looked down at himself and laughed. He could feel his new power pulsating through his body. Suddenly, one of Burns's henchmen flew the front window of the house and onto the front lawn. The others followed, and then Goku stepped through the window. He flew to Burns and entered a stance.

"Alright Burns! I've allowed you to make your wish because I'm an idiot! Now I'm going to stop you!" said Goku.

"Ha! I would love to see you try!" said Burns.

Goku and Burns flew into the air and started trading punches. Burns dodged a right cross from Goku, flew behind him, grabbed his ankles, and delivered an airplane spin. Goku started feeling dizzy. When Burns finally stopped, Goku lost control and threw up.

Piccolo finally removed his hands from his face. He looked up and saw some kind of blob falling toward his face. Piccolo screamed like a little girl.

"Nnnnnnnnooooooooo!!!!!!!!" Piccolo screamed.

Burns rammed his knee into Goku's midsection, punched him in the back, and threw him back to the ground. Goku hit the ground hard and stopped moving. He was beaten, he just decided that.

"That's it. I've lost. There's no way I can beat him," said Goku.

"What? You didn't even try turning into a Super Saiyan! You just assumed that you can't win!" said Piccolo as he wiped vomit from his face.

Burns floated over Goku. He was ready to finish it. He raised his fist into the air and channeled energy into it. Just then, something hit him in the back. Burns turned around and saw who hit him. Vegeta was floating above him with his ki charged.

"Vegeta! Where did you come from?" asked Goku.

"I was busy eluding the old people police, then I felt this huge power level. How are you Kakarot?" asked Vegeta.

"Well, actually I'm..."

"Oh I'm sorry. Apparently you were under the impression that I actually gave a damn! Now stand aside and let me finish this fool myself!" said Vegeta.

Vegeta flew toward Burns with a flurry of punches and kicks. Burns caught Vegeta's foot and hurled him back to the ground. Vegeta landed next to Goku and stopped moving. But he wasn't unconscious. He was just pretending to be. He took a dive.

"Vegeta, get back up. I know you can!" said Goku.

"Silence, Kakarot! If I lay here, I can look like a hero that sacrificed everything!" said Vegeta.

"Vegeta, we caught onto that act when you were beaten up by the Ginyu Force."

"What? You were? Damn it! Well, I'm taking a dive anyway!"

Goku got back up and turned to Burns. He needed some extra help in beating Burns. Vegeta was taking a dive, and Piccolo was a weak little sissy now. There was only one more choice. Goku ran to Homer.

"Homer, you have to fuse with me!" said Goku.

"What? What do you mean? I don't go for that sort of thing..." said Homer.

"No, I mean we have to combine our bodies and strength so we can beat Burns. It's the only way! Please?"

"Well, alright. But you have to let me control the body!"

"What? Are you serious?"

"You bet I am."

"Oh, fine. You can control it. Now, here's how we do it."

Goku showed Homer how to do the fusion dance. Homer tried to do it, but he ended up screwing up and doing the Moonwalk instead. Goku showed him again, and then Homer got it.

"Alright, you ready, Homer?" asked Goku.

"Uh...what do I have to yell again?" asked Homer.

"Fusion Ha!"

"Right. Uh...what comes after fusion?"

"Ha!"

"Okay. Um...what comes before ha?"

"Fusion!"

"Okay, I got it. wait a minute, what comes after fusion again?"

"Just say Fusion Ha!"

Goku and Homer got into the position and stood next to each other. They held their arms in the position, spread their legs, and got ready.

"Fusion...HA!" yelled Goku and Homer.

Light surrounded Goku and Homer. Then there was an explosion. When it was over, neither Goku nor Homer was standing there anymore. There was somebody new. He was as tall as Goku, as fat as Homer, with an orange and blue vest that didn't fit, tight blue pants with a white sash, blue boots, muscular arms like Goku, and only three strands of hair on his head that were bright yellow because he was a Super Saiyan. The awkward looking man approached Burns.

"What the devil are you?" asked Burns.

"You can call me Hoku!" said the fused warrior.

"Hoku? What a preposterous name!" said Burns.

"Pre...po...hey, don't use big words! You're confusing me!" said Hoku.

Hoku flew into the air and powered up. He transformed to Super Saiyan 2, and then Super Saiyan 3. The three strands of hair on his head grew to his ankles and hung. Hoku and Burns clashed in midair and traded punches and kicks. Burns lunged forward with a punch that missed. Hoku grabbed Burns and hurled him to the ground. Then he fell straight down and sat on him. Burns struggled and pushed Hoku off of him. Hoku flew a few feet back. He spread his legs, cupped his hands, and pulled them to his side. Burns pulled his arms to each side, gathered energy in both of them, and then pointed his hands at Hoku.

"Prepare to die, you bloated museum of treachery!" said Burns.

"I don't know what all those big words means, but I do know this! I...am..hungry!" said Hoku.

Burns and Hoku both charged all of their ki and got ready to fire it. A huge ball of energy swirled around Burns and knocked over what was left of Flanders's house. Hoku's ki built around him.

"Ka...Me...Ha...Me..." Hoku pulled his arms forward to finish the attack. When he did that, his right arm went forward to fast and pulled itself out of its socket. "D'oh!" yelled Hoku. The blast flew toward Burns.

Burns fired his blast back at Hoku. Their blasts collided, and they were locked in a power struggle. Burns pumped more power into his blast and gained the upper hand. It seemed like he was going to win. But then something went wrong. Burns's muscles slowly disappeared, and the skinny arms returned. Burns slowly returned to his normal, skinny, boney look. His blast disappeared, and Hoku's blast hit him dead on. The blast sent Burns flying back. Smithers jumped in the way just in time to catch Burns. Burns hit Smithers back first. They twirled in midair and fell with Burns face-down and Smithers on top of him.

"I could stay like this forever, sir," said Smithers.

"Shut up! What happened to my power?" asked Burns.

"Well, Mr. Burns, you may have lost it since you told the Dragon that you wanted to be the world's most powerful man, even for just a little while. I guess that dragon took that literally," said Burns.

"No! I only had true power for five minutes!"

"Now you know what you've done wrong," said Hoku. "Now you know that evil never...do I smell chili?" Hoku walked back into the house and into the kitchen in search of chili.

"So, what should we do now, Mr. Burns?" asked Smithers.

"The same thing we do every night, Pinky! Try to take over the world!" said Burns.

"Excuse me, sir?"

"Just shut up and get me out of here!"

Half an hour later, Burns and his henchmen were gone, Goku and Homer split back apart, and everything was back to "normal". However, Goku and his friends felt that it was time to leave. They had already packed their stuff and thrown it onto Bulma's plane.

"Oh, are you sure you can't stay longer?" asked Marge.

"Well, we appreciate it, but we've just been causing you so much trouble. It would be best if we go back home," said Bulma, who was still wearing nothing but a G-String.

"But we appreciate you letting us stay here," said Gohan.

"If you ever come back to Springfield, you're welcome to stay anytime," said Marge.

"Homer, we'll have to have that martial arts lesson some other time," said Goku.

"You shot who in the what now?" said Homer.

"Nevermind, Homer," said Goku.

"Lisa, it was great getting to meet you. I hope the rest of your life is safe and happy," said Trunks.

"Thank you Trunks. You take care of yourself. I'm sure we'll meet again," said Lisa.

"Bart, thanks for teaching me the art of comedy," said Goten.

"No problem. Just remember, be original. Phil McCrevice! Ha!" laughed Bart.

"Bye Maggie! Stay a good baby!" said Krillin.

Maggie shook her fist at Krillin. Krillin jumped and hid behind Chi Chi. Maggie laughed and waved at Krillin. Krillin laughed and waved back.

Goku and his friends turned around and got onto the plane. Goku tried to sit in the pilot's seat again, but Bulma and Gohan pulled him out of it. The plane lifted into the air. Goku, Goten, Trunks, Krillin, Chi Chi, Videl, and Gohan all went to the window and waved to the Simpsons. The Simpsons all waved. Lisa wiped a tear out of here eye as she watched the ship pull into the air and fly away. Trunks wiped a tear out of his eye and kept waving as they flew off into the orange evening sky.

Goku had this odd feeling. He was certain that something wasn't right. He got up and walked to the cockpit. He leaned against the wall of the cockpit and over Bulma, who was flying the plane.

"Hey, Bulma, do you have this feeling that we're forgetting something?" asked Goku.

"You know, I do have that feeling, Goku. But what could we possibly be forgetting?" asked Bulma.

Back on the ground, Homer, Marge, Bart, Lisa, and Maggie all went back into the house. Back out on the front yard, Vegeta was still laying with his eyes closed. He had them closed for so long that he actually fell asleep laying on the ground. He opened his eyes and looked around. It was evening time. When they were fighting, it was mid-afternoon. Vegeta wiped his eyes and looked around some more. Nobody was around. Nobody at all.

"Where is everybody? Kakarot? Bulma? Kakarot's bastard children? Where are all of you?" asked Vegeta.

"There he is!" yelled someone behind Vegeta.

Vegeta turned around and saw Buu, the nurse, and a bunch of other personnel from the Old Folks' Home. They bum rushed him and jabbed him with twenty tranquilizer darts while Buu held him still.

"Unhand me, you fools! I am the Prince of the...the...ah crap..." said Vegeta, and he went to sleep.

Back in the plane, Goku and Bulma shrugged their shoulders.

"Couldn't have been anything too important," said Bulma.

"You're probably right," said Goku.

Goku turned around and walked away. As he walked to his seat, he tripped over Piccolo's cape, fell forward, and hit his head on the wall.

"D'oh!" yelled Goku.

The End