Title: The Dragonball Z Boot Camp

Author: J'dee

Rating: NC-13 (offensive language)

Genre: Drama?? / Humour??

Author's Notes: Well I tried to write this before I moved… it didn't happen but as my personal quote goes… "I can not control where my inspiration flows…" I didn't personally try to forget anyone honest… it's just hard to do such a fic where I have to remember everyone personal obsessions and insane reactions… yet it's good for a comedic read…

Disclaimer: I don't own the D to the B to the Z and that includes to the G to the T as well… I could own the letters but then everyone would want to claim owning letters from the alphabet and that wouldn't be fair to the little kids who need those letters to learn how to spell, read or write with…oh and I don't own … (yes those dots) either, you would think I do by how often I use them.

!!!Boot Camp - Message Board!!!

The author is very sorry it has been donkey's years since she updated but due to moving away and back again she could only focus on certain fics… but she hopes to remedy that with special forgive me gifts going out. Just let me know what you're after and no, I'm not handing out DB/Z/GT characters… she does kinda need them for this fic.

Boot Camp - Updates!!!

No one new…

Thought there are still spots on Platoon, Chibi Trunks / Goten and Platoon Yamcha

Previously on Boot camp…

~Stina had a birthday party.

~Phoenix Starr got locked away with Goku for and entire chapter.

~Arty was captured and spent the chapter in a cell with the kawaii Teen Gohan (from the Bojack movie # 9 right?? Mmmmm Mirai looks good in that…

~This authoress was going to attack Bush jnr with Lavender colored Hal powder.

~The boot camp plushie traffic was getting out of hand

~Sayuri has Vegeta handcuffed to her

~A Vegeta mob was formed

~*~*~*~

Now to the fic!

Months felt like years while the platoon members wandered the camp, waiting for the ever so busy, yet completely talented authoress to update the fic so they could have their freedom of insanity again… yet she didn't… and they continued to stay stuck in the boot camp fic, fearing that it might possibly be for life… this causing a rebellion as she never emerged from the office of the boot camp leader. George W Bush jnr was never seen and neither was the insanely sugared up author in those months.

In that time changes had occurred in the fic… The plushie power was so great that the city they build had the other DBZ fans and authors living on the roofs of their platoon barracks… and inside.

"This is pathetic." Vegeta complained and he tugged at the handcuffs to free himself only resulting in yank Sayuri on to him lap when she started to purr like a kitten and rub up against him. Despite the real lows in being handcuffed to Vegeta certain things like potty break were made very difficult, still she remained a Vegeta loyalist and would not relinquish the power she had with the handcuffs. "I refuse to live on the roof! I'm the prince of saiyans!!!"

~*~*~*~

Then one strange and fateful day the door to the office of the platoon leader door opened, the authoress known as J'dee hissing at the light and covering her eyes until she pulled out a pair of spiffy yet ultra cool Kai Singh sunnies (with a nice blue tint to them) and put them on dreaming about Kai Singh and all his evilness glory. She pumped her fist in the air. "The Hal powder dominates!!!!!"

"Did she say Hell power?" Itami from platoon Chibi Trunks asked.

"Naaaaah." Geta from platoon Chibi Goten replied.

Reikon raced out of platoon Gohan's barracks laughing. "I did it I've finally defeated Gohan!!!" She had a brown sack slung over her shoulder.

"Gohan!!! Noooooo!" Xenia cried out falling to her knees.

Moments later Gohan emerged looking fine. Reikon frowned and the raced off as fast as her feet could take her dashing through the plushie streets and diving in to platoon Piccolo barracks, the sack still in her grasp.

~*~*~*~

Mabelle looked up from the Piccolo fandom magazine she was reading, or more like staring at the pin ups of.

"Where have you been?"

"Busy…" Reikon swung on her heels innocently.

"Is it Christmas already?" Maria Li asked.

"Nope." Reikon grinned.

"How about Easter?" Stina asked.

"Easter?" Piccolo Girl looked at Stina.

"A sack full of eggs, namely chocolate and Cadbury, that would be torture for the authoress."

"Alas no." Reikon replied and emptied the sack. "But even better…"

"Is that Gohan's dirty laundry?" Mabelle asked, looking at the wrap of white material.

"Wouldn't surprise me." Khaos replied crossing his arms annoyed at still being a part of the fan fic.

Reikon began undo the wrap slowly and grinning wildly that almost scared off her fellow platoon members. When revealed what she'd taken from the barracks made Mabelle grin suddenly.

"Hey isn't that…" Maria Li asked.

"Yep." Reikon grinned. "WildThing's flamethrower…"

"And…" Stina picked up the Vege launcher. "Shinie's Vege rocket launcher."

"Sweeeeet!" Piccolo Girl 01 grinned.

"Now to rescue Piccolo!!" Mabelle announced.

"Why?" Stina asked, "he was given to me I'm a part of this platoon."

"Oh yeah… well time to make Piccolo Boot Camp Leader!!!" Mabelle announced.

"Go Belle, yea it's your birthday… gunna take over like it's your birthday…" Reikon sang mimicking a certain Fiddy cent song.

"Okay that's it I'm leaving." Khaos stood up and went to walk out and he stopped watching Deathdroid run past.

"Nooooooooooo Reeeeeeeeeeeelllllllllnnnnnnnnaaaaaa AAAAAHHHHHHHH!"

Moments later a Relena plushie chased Deathdroid.

Khaos sighed and walked out in to the street, avoiding the plushie traffic and heading off on his own.

"Ooooooh plushie gun." He heard Reikon laugh evilly.

"Brrrrrrrrrrllllllllllliiiiiiiip-ga!"

Mabelle blinked. "Sttttttttttina I told you to stop bringing that gumboot chewing thing in here!!"

"I shall turn it in to plushie!" Reikon announced.

"NO!!!" Stina dove over the white critter and held it close.

"What is it?" Maria Li asked.

"I don't know." Stina replied. "But it's cool and I saved it from the Orcs."

The critter flapped it long bunny like ears and it's long fox like tail twitched, still nothing else could be seen cause it was fluffier than a sheep. If it weren't for the ears and tail they would of not known where the front was.

~*~*~*~

"So you defeated George!!" BananaGirl asked J'dee.

"Yes. I did!" She cackled.

"How?" Deathdroid stopped running and looked at her.

"I beat him to death with his own shoes." J'dee replied.

"No, I believe that line was reserved for the insano m & m fellow in Wayne's world two." Deathdroid pointed out.

"And we shall have a party and since it will be at Comrades it shall be a communist party!" J'dee announced.

"Maybe he beat her with her own shoes." BananaGirl remarked looked at Deathdroid.

"Juanana! Banana!!" TRF called out racing up to them.

"I'm not Juanana!" Deathdroid growled.

"You stole juanana from me."

"No I didn't he just asked me to help him hide. You didn't need to sick the evil Relena plushie on me." Deathdroid complained.

"J'dee you didn't happen to use Quatre and make him go zero did you?" Deathdroid asked.

"Quatre? Me?? Nooo I did it myself." She nodded and looked left then right. "He's not near by is he?" She asked nerviously

"Uh…" BananaGirl blinked. "Since when did you get Quatre in this fic?"

"I'm authoress I'm allowed that blonde cutie!"

"And I thought you were a Heero fan!!!" TRF pointed at her. "Traitor!!!"

"No I never said I was a Heero fan alone."

"Trowa then how dare you betray Trowa for Quatre!" TRF pointed at her accusing.

"Juanana then, he helped…" She sighed. "Fine Quatre plushie and the actual Juanana helped me." She confessed and broke down in sobs.

"Um kay." BananaGirl sweatdropped. "Yamcha fans are strange."

"Goten fan too don't you ever forget Goten!!" J'dee pointed at her. "He's just the kawaiiest I wanna cuddle!"

"You're sick." BananaGirl curled her nose up. "And you used to be such a dedicated Vegeta fan. I'm ashamed of you."

"Speaking of Vegeta where are all the Vegeta fans?" She asked looking round nerviously.

"Ahhhh the Vegeta mob, yes they are still round wielding their Vegeta plushies like torches and pitchforks." Deathdroid replied.

"So Juanana is Boot camp leader?" TRF asked.

"Temporarily." J'dee replied.

"JUANANA!!!" TRF raced towards the office and lunged through the door.

"NOT YOU AGAIN!!!" his cry could be heard.

~*~*~*~

Meanwhile the Vegeta mob er I mean platoon were in their barracks holding members of platoon Mirai captive.

"Soon mirai shall come and with Mirai will come their platoon leader and we shall get our revenge!!!" VegetaGoku laughed insanely.

Jeril looked at the Platoon Mirai and she frowned. "I don't think Mirai will rescue them."

"He has to!!" Diamond sky wined "or else this plan would have been for nothing."

Sailor TaichichiVegeta sat there with her Legolas plushie sitting next to her, she didn't mind being captured, and Vegeta after all was in her author name. "You comfy Legolas?" She asked.

The plushie just looked up at her. "Yes I'm fine."

"Oh he's so polite!!" She grinned then looked to her Kurama plushie on the other side. "You're just as polite aren't you Kurama?"

The plushie looked up at her also. Then it looked up to WildThing in a cage hanging form the ceiling. "I guess so." He replied and frowned. How had he gotten in to this situation?

Tanti skipped round happily. "Platoon Mirai are our captives la la la… that'll teach them to destroy our barracks…" She laughed insanely. "Lavenderise the Vegeta barracks and you will pay!!!" She pointed at SaiyanAngel Princess.

"Mirai will be here!!" She announced like he was her boyfriend, when it couldn't be farther from the truth.

"She's deluded." Jeril remarked frowning.

"Begin Mirai Chat!!!" Cheetah shouted.

"We want our mirai-chan!" Jillitude began.

"Weeeee want out Mirai CHAN!" the other mirai members echoed

When do we want him?!" Jillitude shouted.

"Now!!" The platoon echoed in reply.

"How do we want him?!" Jillitude asked shouting.

"Any *beeping* way cause he's so damn hot!!" SaiyanAngel Princess shouted.

WildThing raised a brow from where she was in her cage. "Roar…" She grinned. "Rooar roooar rooooooooar, I'm a wild beast yeah baby!!"

Tanti frowned. "Stop that!" She prodded WildThing with a broom handle.

"Roooooar! Beast me baby" WildThing retorted.

"This platoon is weird." VegetaGoku frowned.

Cheetah frowned. "I'm the one with the wild animal name why don't I get to be in a cage too?" She pouted.

"Okay I think I'm officially scarred for life." Diamond sky complained.

"They're trying to weaken you! Don't let them we are the Vegeta Platoon!! We will rule this entire boot camp with Vegeta as our leader!!" Jeril announced.

"As soon as we uncuff him from that scary Sayuri." Diamond sky pointed. "but when I tried to get near she started baring fangs at me and hissing like a strange beast."

"Have a beastie day!"

Tanti gabbed WildThing again with the broom handle. "Cut that out."

"ROAR!!!"

~*~*~*~

Mirai was relaxing on the rooftop of Platoon Goku with Goku the two of them enjoying some quiet time away from their obsessive platoons.

"Are you going to rescue your platoon?" Goku asked casually.

"Would you?"

Goku thought for a moment. "You're platoon is a bit scary, almost as scary as Vegeta or my platoons."

"They take obsession a bit to far." Mirai commented, "That whole lavender decorations thing well…" He trailed off a sweatdrop rolling down the side of his head.

The heard a clamber and watched as S'rac jumped on the roof and waved his Bokken at his attacker. "Gaaaah leave me alone!!!"

"I am Chinow and I will destroy platoon Goku if it is the last thing I do!!!"

Goku sighed. He watched as S'rac sat down and huffed.

"What did I do to her?" He pouted.

"Are you planning on rescuing Arty?" mirai asked.

"I tried to rally them up but I only found Shinie and Chinow… and well that's not enough." S'rac replied.

"Where are Washu and Asilin?" Goku asked. He sat up and looked round almost paranoid type.

"We were heading out to save Arty together, then when I went to collect Shinie, Chinow started chasing me and I lost track of Washu and Asilin." S'rac frowned.

J'dee jumped up on to the roof. "Hi!"

"J'dee!!!!" S'rac hugged her. "You're back, help me find my platoon."

"Oh Asilin and Washu are inside the barracks below they're digging a tunnel to the camp of the evil bunnies." She explained.

"So that's why the barracks were starting to fill up with dirt." He mused. "I wondered where it was coming from... Kuno complained cause he fell in a hole the other day."

J'dee sat next to mirai. "Help me rescue your platoon."

"No, you threw powder over me."

"It was a Hindu festival!" She complained. "You were suppose to do that."

"Fine what festival was it?" Mirai challenged.

"I forget. But it's true, it is!!"

"You like the Hindu religion?" Goku asked.

J'dee grinned. "Tis spiffy."

"Hey Tis is my word." S'rac complained.

"No indeed is your word."

"Indeed tis."

"Miraiiiiiiii!" J'dee whined and tugged at his spiffy jacket. "Heeeeeeeelp me….." She whined more.

"What do I get out of it?" he asked.

"Um Cadbury?"

"I'm a martial artist chocolate isn't appealing." He replied.

"Oh I know you get a brand new sword! I know Gohan took yours cause he confiscated EVERY SINGLE WEAPON!!!" J'dee sobbed.

Mirai nodded. "Fine I'll help but you have to help S'rac first."

"Oh alright." J'dee sighed and looked at S'rac. "Lets get your platoon back together… Minus Chinow we'll dump her with the Vegeta fans."

"Yay!" S'rac cheered.

"But mirai you're coming to rescue arty!" J'dee pointed at him.

"No I'll save my platoon but no others."

"Man you're such a Vegeta." J'dee complained.

"There is a reason for that." Mirai replied. "I'M HIS SON!!!."

"Goooooku…." J'dee tugged at Goku's gi. "Help us right?"

He smiled. "I guess it can't hurt."

"Yay!" S'rac cheered again.

~*~*~*~

Washu tapped the concrete above them they heard a tapping back. "Here that?" Washu asked Asilin.

"Sure did." Asilin replied.

"Arty…" Washu called out.

"Hey!" Arty called back. "You came to get me."

"Yeah we couldn't get through security, so we came under…" Asilin replied.

"Wootness!" Arty cheered.

"But we can't get any further." Washu remarked.

"Why?" Arty asked back.

"We were digging using spoons, cause Gohan confiscated all weapons, and he thought shovels were violent."

Arty looked to Teen Gohan next to her. Are shovels violent?" She asked.

He blinked. "Ummmm… sometimes?" he replied, even though it sounded like a question.

"Damn…" Arty scowled. "Oooh blast the ground make a big hole and we can escape."

"Uh your friends are under there." Teen Gohan reminded her.

"Damn…" Arty frowned. "How about a small blast?" She asked.

"No." Teen Gohan remarked. "You guys are only human despite what your crazy mind thinks."

"How about a teny tiny microscopic blast so they can get their spoons through?" Arty offered.

Teen Gohan looked at her. "You don't hear the words no very often do you?"

"Sure I do but it's more like in the words of no please don't, nooooo why don't you shut up?" Arty replied.

Teen Gohan sweatdropped. "Riiiiiiiight."

~*~*~*~

Platoon Gohan (involving with only the platoon members and no BananaGirl cause she was too busy with her plan to free Vegeta from the clutches of Sayuri.) Jimbo, Aakeido, Fox, VaarJ, Xenia were off to one side surrounding the main plushie city, they had joined forces with Platoon Bardock.

"I can't believe Gohan confiscated my weaponry that I had shipped in." Jimbo complained as he lay on his stomach near west plushie city. "We're his platoon, what was he thinking?"

"To reduce violence." Xenia replied. "In that coolness that is Gohan."

VaarJ frowned. "Well how could he just let that nut from platoon Piccolo steal them and knock him out?"

"Platoon Piccolo go figure they're sneaky not worthy of the Namek." Jimbo remarked.

"So how do you suppose we attack a city with no form of weapons?" Aakeido asked.

"It's like trying to shoot a duck with no gun if you ask me." Fox replied.

Suddenly Jimbo, VaarJ and Xenia looked at him. "What if we had another duck?" Xenia asked grinning looking at him.

Fox blinked. "I'm a Fox not a duck!" He complained.

"You were a duck at some stage though." Aakeido remarked.

"No I wasn't." Fox complained.

"You're not to smart are you Fox?" VaarJ asked. "Duck is a reference to plushie."

"This is kinda dumb though we've got the city surrounded what are we going to do now trample it to death?" Aakeido remarked.

*ching ching* the light bulb went on over VaarJ, Xenia and Jimbo's forehead.

"I'm sorry I mentioned it." Aakeido frowned.

Platoon Bardock. Heaako, Cathowl, Cherry Wolf, Lavender and Toraneko were at another part of the city when the comment was made over the walkie talky for them to go oozaru destroying the city and giving the platoons their reign of Boot camp and the use of boot camp ground again.

"Oozaru… but I'm a wolf not a monkey." Cherry Wolf complained.

Cathowl blinked. "I think it's a reference to something."

"But what?" Toraneko asked.

Heaako sighed. "What do oozaru's do best?"

"Climb tall buildings and kidnap pretty girls?" Lavender asked in reply.

"Hng!" Heaako's left eye twitched. "That's king kong."

"Oh yeah, he's cool, all kong with his kingliness…" Cherry Wolf grinned.

"Oooh I get it we stomp…" Cathowl grinned.

"Me stomp." Toraneko rocked from side to side. "Stomp goooood."

Lavender sweatdropped. "Stomping isn't nice. I like the climbing buildings better."

"But I wannnnnnna stomp." Toraneko complained.

"How about we plaster the city with yaoi pictures of Vegeta and Goku?" Cathowl asked.

"And do what scare them enough to make then migrate and take up more room?" Lavender questioned.

"That's a good idea." Cherry Wolf grinned. "make them migrate so far they take over the bunny boot camp instead of ours."

Heaako sighed. "Why me?"

~*~*~*~

Spring Warrior, Itami, Chichigal, Chibionna, juuaichi of platoon chibi Trunks sat with their teams up partners of platoon chibi Goten, Gangsta Videl, Epona, Geta, Sayuri and an extra non platoon member thanks to Sayuri and pair of handcuffs attaching her to the saiyan prince.

Vegeta couldn't even cross his arms without drawing the annoying fan closer to him, he didn't want that, he was sick of her and she would go off in to drool mode at the strangest things… Bardock namely it was unattractive, then again she held a most frightening personality, filled with obsessiveness, crazy random saying and lots of cheese.

"Go fish!!" Sayuri called out and danced round in a circle and Vegeta huffed and yanked at the cuffs pulling her to sit back down.

"We're not playing go fish…" Epona sweatdropped.

"We're not?" Sayuri's eyes welled up in tears, "and I was about to win too!"

"We're playing last card." Geta corrected.

"Last card…" Sayuri repeated. "I like go fish better lets play go fish!"

"Where did we get this stupid idea to sit round on the tops of our barracks and play cards from anyway?" Gangsta Videl asked.

"Toby." Chibionna replied. "Except he was wanting to play strip poker being one of the few men in this entire camp."

"I bet you he's preparing himself so he can get Bulma to play a game of strip poker with him." Juuaichi remarked.

Vegeta growled angrily. "How dare he!"

"Well you can't exactly stop him." Itami pointed out. "Unless you get a hacksaw."

Vegeta looked round thinking on that. "NOOOOOO!" Sayuri clung to him. "A hacksaw is a bad thing."

"Oh really?" he raised a brow to look at her.

"Yea it makes really annoying noises like, ceeek-cuuuuuh, eeeeeeek-uuuuuuuuh, zeeeeerk-zuuuuuuuk…."

"I can think of another thing that makes annoying noises." Spring Warrior complained.

"That's not nice." Chichigal remarked.

"Yeah!" Sayuri pouted.

"I agree though." Vegeta complained. "Months handcuffed to you. I'm about to go insane!!!"

Sayuri sniffed. "But Veggie-kun."

He shuddered. "I'm the prince of all saiyans!!!" He snapped.

"Can we play go fish now?" Sayuri asked.

~*~*~*~

Toby, Bura, Jesscheaux, Zero and NDela had finished their card game, Bura and Jesscheaux not involved in the strip poker idea, they had settled for Jesscheaux's choice of memory instead.

"So what now?" Bura asked bored.

Toby just shrugged. "Dun know." He leant back in the chair.

"Rescue Bulma?" Zero offered.

"That's an idea…" NDela agreed.

"How you going to do that with no weapons?" Jesscheaux asked, becoming the voice of reason.

Toby chewed on his bottom lip. "Make our own I guess."

"From what? Gohan confiscated everything that could be turned in to a weapon."

"Actually, Reikon of platoon Piccolo took everything from Gohan." NDela remarked.

"Well then we just borrow some of it." Zero grinned.

"That's called stealing." Bura the new voice of reason pointed out.

"Help us and we'll get you a naked Bardock with nothing but his bandanna." Toby offered.

"Ooooh I'm in!" Bura grinned.

"I'm thoroughly disgusted." Jesscheaux complained.

"Help us and we'll get you any naked Z character you want." Zero offered.

She blinked and looked at NDela "What's it with guys and nakedness?"

"Don't look at me. It's his mind." NDela frowned.

"C'mon Jess…" Zero nudged her.

She blushed. "Aaaaany character?" She asked.

"VEGETA!!!" BananaGirl jumped on to the table. "I'll help but only if skittles is naked!!"

"Okay I'm disturbed now." Toby frowned.

Bura chuckled. "Well that's a first isn't it?"

"I'm going to get me a naked skittles. Quorky I demand you to help." BananaGirl pointed at him.

"I'm not in to that naked obsession of yours." Quorky frowned.

"*ahem*" Toby cleared his throat. "When we get the weapons we plan to bring Bulma back for a game of strip poker." He grinned.

Quorky blinked. "Really?" he asked.

"Really." Zero agreed.

"Then you have yourself a muse who just signed on for a double mission."

"Bad muse that's a bad bad bad muse what have I told you about Bulma?"

Quorky sighed. "Please don't make me quote the 'Bulma is an evil stupid whore who doesn't deserve the skittly prince that you do'… speech."

BananaGirl grinned. "Good monkey."

"That muse monkey to you." He pointed.

"Don't point at me monkey! I am your superior!!"

"So superior you take your ideas from me?" he taunted.

"Right that's it no banana's for a week!!" BananaGirl scolded.

NDela looked at Jesscheaux. "What?" She asked. "I don't know them. They're not of my platoon." She sniffed. "It's looking rather lonely in my platoon at the moment… I need members."

"Make some up I'm sure no one will know." NDela grinned.

She hit him over the head with the table."

"OW!!"

Gohan raced in and grabbed the table and he glared at Jesscheaux, "that's it I'm confiscating this." He walked off again with the table.

"Did that just happen?" Bura asked.

Toby frowned. "I think Gohan's going just a little bit overboard with this new confiscating thing, soon we won't be allowed pencils."

"Or we'll be made to study really really hard." Zero added.

"It's Gohan not Chi-chi." NDela commented.

"OI GET YOUR BUTT BACK HERE THAT'S OUR TABLE HOW CAN WE EAT WITHOUT TABLES HUH?!?!?" BananaGirl shouted.

"YOU SHOULD OF THOUGHT OF THAT BEFORE TURNING IT IN TO A WEAPON!"

"IT'S A TABLE NOT A WEAPON A TABLE!!! GODAMNIT WHY'D I HAVE TO BE HIS STUPID PLATOON LEADER?"

"Because Vegeta's was taken?" Quorky offered.

"That's it three weeks no bananas."

Quorky frowned. "I don't live of banana's you know."

"Yes you do I say you do so you do."

Toby began to write on a piece of paper, 'I.O.U naked Vegeta.' And handed it to BananaGirl, "claim that after we get weapons." He wrote on another piece 'I.O.U naked Bardock' and he handed it to Bura. Then he looked to Jesscheaux. "Who do you want?"

"Hmmmm." Jesscheaux thought for a moment. "I'll get back to you in the next chapter."

To Be Continued…

R & R

I know it's been one hell of a long time since I updated… last time was in January before I moved out it's what September now? I'm so sorry… I have tried though to include or at least mention every single member of Boot camp, some feature more than others… I'm not playing favorite's it's just a toughy to write ya know especially after so long.

Jess girl I forgot who you're fav character is so let me know and I'll get Toby to give you an I.O.U for the naked character of your choice.

Well till next update. Hopefully it will be sooner than it took to get this one out.

~J'dee