Dragon Ball/Z/GT Fan Fiction ❯ Dude Looks Like A Lady ❯ Chapter Seventy-One ( Chapter 71 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

Innocence is Futile
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Dude Looks Like A Lady
By Raven Pan and Alison Sky
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Chapter Seventy-One
December 1, 799 - Saturday - 0300 hrs.
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Trunks snarled and reached over, destroying Goten's controller in his hand so he couldn't move his guy. "Take that," he smirked.

"HEY!"

"Hey yourself," Trunks laughed, finishing his bottle, eating a couple pieces of pizza while fishing around for a few more controllers.

Goten wrinkled his nose. "Just cause you have a temper doesn't mean you have to fuck me over," Goten stated, downing another beer.

Trunks just growled, pulling out the controllers, plugging in new ones, finishing his liquor and grabbing another.

Goten was quicker though, and grabbed the bottle first. "You have to share..."

Trunks growled, snatching at it, "The beer's yourse, vodka's mine."

"But I want some vodka too..." Goten whined.

"Fine, you can have one - but I'm taking six beers for it," Trunks reached over into Goten's case and pulled them out. "You're gonna get sick though, you had beer first."

"I'll have more beer afterwards to counter the affect," Goten nodded.

"I don't think it'll work," Trunks crossed his eyes, grabbing another liquor bottle and chugging it.

"I guess we'll find out later." Goten opened the vodka bottle and took a swing, then grabbed a few wings and popped them in his mouth.

Trunks dropped the drained bottle to the mat and wrinkled his nose, pausing to finish his pizza.

Goten leaned over and unpaused the game. "No stopping," he stated, then proceeded to shoot Trunks in the back of the head.

"ASS HOLE!" Trunks growled, ripping the controller out of Goten's hands and throwing it down hard on the floor so it shattered.

"The kids!" Goten hushed.

Trunks wrinkled his nose, "Then stop shooting me in the back of the head," he muttered, opening another bottle and tossing a controller at Goten.

"Then stop letting me get you there...."

"Fuckin Asshole," Trunks grumbled, grabbing some more drink, his hand missing the bottle a moment before he got it.

"Nah, you don't wanna do that," Goten joked.

"What tha hell?" Trunks blinked blearily, working off the top of the bottle before drinking, grabbing another pizza and working at it.

"Just joking..."

Trunks shrugged, wolfing down the pizza messily, showing definite signs of being inebriated.

"Trunks is drunk..." Goten slurred.

"So's Chiiiiibi," Trunks wrinkled his nose at him, taking another bottle.

"But I'm a happy drunk," Goten said, downing his vodka bottle.

"You're an idiot," Trunks grumbled, opening his bottle with some difficulty.

"But you enjoy my company just the same..."

"Yeah," Trunks nodded. "Ya keep me saaaaaaaane," He snarked, drinking from the bottle, some of the liquid trickling down his throat and into his t-shirt.

"Who said anything about sane?" Goten laughed, pointing at Trunks and spraying the beer over his target.

"Ewwwww," Trunks put down his half-drunk bottle. "That's 'sgusting!"

"It adds color to your messy shirt," Goten giggled.

"Dumbass."

"You still love me..."

"Pfffht!" Trunks waved his hand randomly.

"You know you love me," the alcohol in Goten's body spoke as he leaned closer.

"'Course, you're my bes'frien'."

"I'll always be your best friend... and the bearer of two of our kids..." he slurred a bit more.
"Yep," Trunks agreed, taking up his bottle again. "But I had a harder time of it, so we're even."

"Anthing you can do, I can do better..." Goten sing songed.

"I can do anything better than you," Trunks snorted back - having watched that musical during his bedridden stage. He grabbed his drink and swigged from it. "Like drink more liquor than beer, you're gonna be siiiiiick."

"Then you're gonna have to give me more voooodka!"

"No, MY vodka!"

"But you don't want me to be sick...."

"But it's MY vodka..." Trunks whined.

Goten just pouted, his face looking very... feminine at that moment.

Trunks tilted his head slightly, blinked hard, then handed Goten another bottle. "There, but the las' one's mine."

Goten smiled and impulsivly leaned over and kissed Trunks' cheek. "THANKS!"

Trunks pushed Goten away roughly, "Geroff!" he rolled his eyes.

"What's wrong?"

"You're an idiot," Trunks pronounced once more, setting down the vodka and blinking hard. "Dun feel so good...."

"Maybe you drink too much..." "I had a case of vodka minuse..." Trunks pointed at the bottle Goten had, the one Goten finished, " and halfa that... I think that's six...." he pointed at his half empty.

"Don't ask me ta do math drunk, Trunks..." Goten whined.

"Kay.... gotta go," Trunks pushed himself to his feet and crashed down the hall, barely making it to the bathroom in time to 'worship the porcelin throne'.

Goten just lay on the tablecloth, laughing.

The toilet flushed and Trunks made his way back, flopping onto the tablecloth, reaching for a pizza, just tearing off the crusts and eating them. "Shaddup."

"Trunks puked!" Goten laughed

Trunks whacked Goten with the back of his hand, "I said shut it!"

"OW!" Goten whined, rubbing his cheek.

Trunk humpfhed and went back to eating crusts, grabbing the half bottle of vodka, and nursing it to wash down the bread.

"You're gonna puke again at that rate..." Goten chuckled.

"Fuck you!" Trunks growled, drinking as he ate. "I'll do what I want, and I wanna get drunk so much alcohol poisoning's whatcha get from usin mouthwash."

"I'll make sure to tell the kids all about you when you're dead then," Goten muttered.

"Don't bother," Trunks slurred back.

"How come?"

"T'them, I ain' even family." "Yes you are... don say dat..."

"Jus' a fuckin' uncle - but that don' matter... don' d'serv havin' family anyway!" Trunks said, waving his bottle around angrily.

Goten got to his hands and knees. "Don't say that! They love you!"

Trunks waved his hand, "Bullshit - I fuckin went through fuckin hell for Truten, and she doesn't even try to call me Momma, or Daddy, it's just fuckin UNCLE!" Trunks threw the bottle past Goten, it shattering against the wall - the pieces crashed down onto their mat. "I'm fuckin NOTHIN!"

"Then we can get the dragonballs..."

"FUCK the dragonballs - they ain't brought nothin but SHIT!"

"We can make them work dis time..."

"That was supposed to happen two times ago! Forget it, Fuckin Fate's having a GREAT time with us, ain't it," Trunks sneered. "Fuckin can't even find a fuckin LIFE - all this whole thing, Goten," he spread his hands out, his power flickering toward super-saiyajin. "IT'S a fuckin LIE!!! A. Fuckin..." his eyes rolled back as he fell to the floor, passed out.

Goten winced. He wanted to scream at Trunks, tell him how much of an asshole he was being... but he couldn't. Instead, he just grabbed Trunks and started to pull him to the bedroom.

The balcony door opened, and there were footsteps as someone walked in. "Hn... pigstye."

Goten turned to look at the new visitor, dropping Trunks' shoulders so he hit the floor. "Aw fuck," he muttered.

"Hn," Vegeta stepped forward, and picked Trunks up, putting him over his shoulder and carrying him back to the bedroom.

"I coulda done dat," Goten complained, following.

"You dropped him, Brat."

"Cause you scarded me...."

"You're drunk."

"No shit, Sherlock." Goten then clasped his hands over his mouth.

"You better not talk like that around my grand-brats," Vegeta snapped at him, putting Trunks into his bed with surprising gentleness.

"Of course not... and they aren't brats," Goten stated

"Shut up and go clean up your mess, Brat," Vegeta ordered, getting up and walking past on his way to the kitchen.

"I put down a cloth... we just need to pick it up and it's all done!" Goten smirked.

"Then do it!"

"FINE!" Goten walked into the livingroom, grabbed the corners of the cloth until he made a large sack, then took it to the balcony and aimed for the dumpster below. "Incoming!" he shouted, then dropped it.

"Ch," Vegeta rolled his eyes and grabbed two large pitchers, filling them with ice and water.

Goten walked back in. "Whatcha doing, Veggie?" Goten asked, his voice still slurred.

"Don't call me that," Vegeta said, grabbing two plastic glasses with one hand, the pitchers in the other as he pushed past Goten to the bedroom.

"But what are you doing?"

"What does it look like," he snapped. "You get to your bed, Baka son of Kakkarot."

"Looks like you're gonna drown him..." Goten said. "And this is MY house... I don't have to listen to you!"

"Hn," Vegeta ignored him - picking fights with a drunk son of a baka was not on his list of things to do tonight. He brought the pitchers to the bedroom, setting one on Trunks's bestand, with one glass, and the other on Goten's with the other glass, then - without a word, went back to the kitchen.

Goten, confused, followed him.

He pulled down four loaves of bread, and pulled out two large soup pots, carrying them back to the room.

"You making oatmeal or something?"

"No. Since you're so drunk, I'll spell it out for you. There's water. Drink it. There's bread, Eat it. There's pots, Vomit into it so you don't get it all over the floor," he said simply. He set the loaves on the bedstands next to the water jugs, the pots beside the beds. Then, he went to where Trunks was unconscious on the bed, and pulled the band out of Trunks's hair.

"But I'm fine!" Goten smiled, then wobbled against the dresser as he lost his balance a moment.

"Hn - for the moment," he said, swiftly pulling Trunks's long hair back into a tidy braid, using the band to hold the end together.

Goten watched. "Why are you caring for him?" he asked after a bit.

"Because he's my son," Vegeta said shortly.

"So? That's never made you do so before... you've fucked our lives up... and NOW you want to care for him?"

"I've cared for you both plenty of times before, Brat - you were too drunk to remember... you probably won't remember this time either," he stood and pushed Goten down into the bed - his mind briefly touching on the many times he'd carried both boys to their beds. He just never showed up as long as Goten was sober and could take care of Trunks. "So. Eat the bread, Drink the water. Vomit the alcohol. I'm taking the kids home for my daughter and the woman to take care of until you're both sober."

Goten sat down, but still looked at Vegeta in confusion. "Why did you do it, Vegeta?"

"That is none of your business."

"He was so happy... and finally acting like a person again... and you ruined that... and now he's back like this again..."

"He's a Saiyajin, he is a Prince, and he is my Son," Vegeta growled. He remembered how upset his son had been at the turning, and as soon as the dragonballs were reactivated had made plans to hunt for them. When it came near time for his child to give birth, he knew he would have to find them soon, and upon his wife's denial of the radar, went off in search on his own. How dare this third-class half-saiyajin brat accuse him of not caring. "Now shut up before I break my promise to Kakkarot and break your bones while you're drunk. Goodnight." He turned to walk from the room.

"He'll always be your child, Vegeta..." Goten said, laying down on the bed. "Does it matter if he is a son or daughter?"

"Hn, you really are an idiot," Vegeta said.

Goten just lay in his bed, staring at the ceiling. Then his eyes rolled back into his head and he was out cold.

Closing the door and going to the other room, Vegeta put a note on the door that the children were at Capsule Corp before he carefully put the sleeping Truten into her front pack, strapped it on, then took one twin in each arm after slinging their diaper bag over his shoulder - he knew the woman kept things for the babies at the house as well.

He frowned to himself, careful to not wake the children as he left, kicking the balcony door shut. 'Does it really matter if he is a son or daughter?'

Hmpfh, of course it does. If there is no son, there is no royal line, Vegeta grumbled in his own mind.

Then, Kakkarot's voice came to mind, something he'd said decades ago. 'Look - you've always talked about our Saiyan race, how we're the last of a mighty people... Well its time we accept were starting a new race - one that can be just as strong, just as proud.. but not if were caught up in so much of our old birthrights to see what is right in front of us. We've lost our old race Vegeta - lets not lose this one too.'

Vegeta flew through the air, his Ki raised to keep the infants and toddler warm. "Am I going to lose my son... because of this?"

Truten stirred, whimpering a little, then looked up at Vegeta. She giggled and tried to reach for his chin, grabbing it strong.

That one is a saiyajin... he looked at the sleeping Teena and nodded, That one too. Then he looked down at the sleeping Gotenks, his sleek black hair blowing about in the wind as he slept. Even with that damn human hair, so is this one... and this one is the son of my son, sired by him, birthed by another.... Even if it was Kakkarot's brat.

Slowly, a thought began to insinuate itself into his mind - a thought that - perhaps.... Perhaps.... Perhaps the line would not die if things changed.... Perhaps.

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When Trunks finally woke... for real, it was to a half empty pitcher of water he must have drunk during the night... and a pot of vomit with a lid on it, that he knew he'd have to throw away. It seemed familiar enough a scenario from whenever both he and Goten got drunk....

He wasn't quite ready to get out of bed yet, feeling as though the world was spinning as dinosaurs danced in his skull... so he simply lay there, flopping one arm over his eyes, and moaning discomfitedly.

Goten winced at the moan, himself being in a similar situation, just with a lot less vomit... in fact, his pot was empty... but his loaf of bread and water were gone. "Shhhhh," he hissed. "Too loud."

Trunks whimpered, "Never... drinking... again..." he said, very quietly.

"You said that last time..." Goten stated.

"Hmpfh."

"Your dad took the kids for the day," Goten moaned. He hadn't forgotten the night before... he wasn't as wasted as he usually was.

"Wha...?"

"Dad.... kids.... for the day...." Goten stated slowly.

"When?"

"Last night."

"My... father... was here last night?....shit...." Trunks groaned.

"Yeah..." Goten sighed. He wasn't sure if he should tell Trunks about their conversation.

"I'm so dead..." He rolled onto his stomach and put his pillow over his head. "Who won Halo?"

"I did," Goten chuckled.

"You always win," Trunks grumped.

"That's cause you get drunk first," Goten pointed out. "And badly too."

"I feel horrible..."

Goten lifted his head. "You sound it too..."

"Kill me?"

"Nah.... don't have enough energy."

"Kay..." Trunks groaned and reached out, knocking the loaf of bread onto the bed and pulling it open, taking some to bite at.

"You look horrible too..." Goten observed. "You got puke on your chin."

"Shaddup..." Trunks wiped his chin on the bed.

Goten just chuckled and lay his head back down, closing his eyes.
"'Scuse me... goin' die now..." Trunks got out, closing his eyes.

"Send me postcards from HFIL," Goten quipped, snuggling up to his pillow, eyes still closed.

"Kay..."

"And leave a few baddies for me to kill.." "Mmmpfh."

"Thought so," Goten smirked a bit.

Trunks pushed off the pillow and eyed Goten as best he could, with the horrible hangover he had. "Our dads were both here last night?"

"No... just yours," Goten stated, his eyes still closed, his voice a bit sleepy.

"Who got the stuff, then?"

"Your dad."

"I think I'm still drunk... I thought you said my dad."

"I did... I think five times now." Goten chuckled.

"Tha's 'mposs'ble."

"No... saw it with my own eyes..." Goten stated. "He put you to bed, made the water jugs, brought the stuff over... we fought a bit, and he pushed me into bed to go to sleep."

"You prolly dream'd that... my dad doesn't give a shit about us...."

"It was him... if I dreamed it, then where are the kids?"

"Oh fuck!" Trunks stumbled out of his bed, narrowly missing the vomit-pot, and held his head as he made his way to the kids room.

Goten just chuckled and curled up in bed. He could reach his ki out and feel the three chibis, all happy and playing with their Auntie Bra.

Trunks stopped when he saw the note on the chibi's door. Scrawled in his father's meticulous script. "They're at CC - when you're sober you can have them back."

Trunks just groaned and slid down the wall.

"Trunks?" Goten called, feeling the droop in Trunks' ki.

"Yeah?"

"You ok?"

"D'you think it was him... this whole time?" Trunks asked, sleepiness echoed in his voice.

"I wouldn't be surprised...."

"Doesn't make sense..."

"Yeah, it does..." Goten stated, sitting up a bit. "I think he cares for you... somewhere deep in his sarcastic heart."

Trunks looked up at Goten through the door from where he was sat in the hall. "Impossible."

"Not really..." Goten said softly. "I've been thinking about some of what he said last night..."

"Whazzat?"

"Well... I mean, some of the shit he did recently was REALLY shitty... but... if you look at it through a different set of eyes... he did it because he cares about you."

"Hmpfh..." Trunks looked down at the carpet and thought about it, still holding his head with one hand. "He was probably right, anyway...."

"Right?"

"...Yeah...."

"...about?"
"This whole thing," Trunks sighed. "If Leiko knew what happened, I bet she'd be laughing her ass off."

Goten sighed and stood up, walking over to where Trunks was, sliding along the wall to sit next to him. "I don't get it."

"Face it, Goten. The Fates don't like me.

"Trunks, please don't start this again..." Goten sighed, leaning over to rest his head in his hands.

"What do you mean again?" Trunks frowned. "I'm not starting anything - you asked me to clarify, I clarified, conversation over."

"No, but you're starting down the 'let's see how well I can beat myself up this time' path," Goten sighed.

"No, I'm just starting to realise maybe I'm not SUPPOSED to be the way I've been trying to be... that maybe I'm supposed to be more like Dad."

"You were like that already, Trunks... remember WHY Leiko got revenge on you?"

"Right, and it changed things, only to bring them back - it's like... you're supposed to be a certain way, and then if you try to do differently, you'll just get dragged around by the nads until you submit and go back to that mold you were supposed to be in, in the first place."

Goten just sighed. "But you were so much happier the way you were the last two years...."

"I give up, it's not worth it. I was fine, and happy, and content before this whole shit started, Goten," he sighed. "It's just fucked us all up the wahzoo."

Goten winced.

"Don't get me wrong," Trunks sighed, rubbing at his temples. "I wouldn't trade our kids in for the world."

Goten just pushed himself up and walked to the kitchen, trying his hardest to hide his emotions. Not the kids... sure... but us....

"Don't start that again, Goten..." Trunks sighed, trying to push himself up to follow, but having to sit down again. He decided to talk from the hallway. "What we had was a great thing while it lasted, but we both knew, right from when we let things change - that it wasn't going to stay that way!" he whimpered.

Goten didn't answer, instead reaching into the fridge for a seltzer water.

Trunks sighed, and gave in to his pounding headache, stretching out on the floor. "I'm not coherent enough to talk about this right now, Goten... but when I am, remind me..." he closed his eyes and fell to sleep almost instantly.

Goten just took a sip from his seltzer, standing in the doorway and watching Trunks for a moment. He then bit his lip and walked to the couch, getting a blanket to put over Trunks before returning and sitting on it, turning on the tv to watch the news.

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