Dragon Ball/Z/GT Fan Fiction ❯ Fathoming Love ❯ Chapter 14 ( Chapter 14 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

I set the tape recorder before him, familiar with the screeching of plastic over the countertop. He looked at me wearily, his eyes a bit darker, bruised looking. His skin, though still perfect, was becoming blotchy it seemed, his hands looking almost yellow in spots. He gazed at as if trying to make certain I was there, his fingers making sweat marks on the table.

“You look like hell.” I told him as bluntly as he would me. “Have you been eating?”

He shrugged, looking to the side and landing his gaze upon the wall.

“Well enough,” he answered slyly. “Considering the food in this place isn’t fit for a trough. Besides Camden, I should say the same for you. You’re looking a bit haggard today. Another round with the old bar stool? Gave it a good ride did you?”

“Not at all.” I said smugly, sitting back in my chair as if to seem superior, though my respect for this man was uncanny. Ever since I’d visited Norton and learned the truth of Vegeta’s most certainly questionable origins, my mind had become even more obsessed with the idea of who and what it was that I was dealing with. It made me even more infatuated, borderline in love, with his story.

“Then why the pathetic look Tazial?” he asked, moving his hands into a fist upon the countertop. It seemed as if he truly wanted to know, something that didn’t happen often in our two way conversations. “You seem……….. more withdrawn today.”

“Bad night I suppose,” I commented, running my hands through my hair. “Laura was cooking when I came home and then……… when I came up to her it was like….”

“Like you weren’t even there?” He said for me.

“Worse than that.” I sighed, uneasy with the topic of me. “She was repelled. Sickened or something. Just shrugged me off and left her food burning on the stove. She’d rather starve than talk to me it seems.”

“Why?”

It was a simple question. But it made me freeze. My stomach dropped when I realized that he truly wanted an answer. But know this my reader, I couldn’t give him one. Not before. Not then.

“I asked you a question,” he said disgustedly. “Why does your wife ignore you like that?”

“I…… I don’t know.” I spat.

“But surely you must know,” He countered, moving towards me, his hands gliding along the table, still laced together. “A man’s wife doesn’t just up and decide she despises his very being. Surely you must have-..”

“Enough!” I shouted, my chair screeching across the floor as I took to my feet, gesturing angrily. “My wife, my personal stuff……. It’s MY business Vegeta. Mine!”

“Why yours alone!” He shouted back, pushing off the table and also climbing to his feet. “You sit here every fucking day and pry into MY LIFE! And why should I have any respect for your “personal” business? I ask you a simple question and you act as if I’ve just accused you of murder!”

The color fled from my face, and I scooted backwards my hand still gripping the plastic chair, my lips tightly shut. I could feel the little beads of sweat come onto my forehead, ignoring them as they one by one began to drop onto my eyebrows, cooling from the dastardly temperature in the room.

“Is that it?” He whispered, his voice harsh and raspy. “What did you do?”

“I don’t want to talk about this.” I said firmly, gathering my things speedily, slamming the recorder into the fold of my elbow.

“What did you DO Tazial?!” he demanded, his voice and whole expression giving off a hint of shock. “Tazial turn around! Come back here and answer me!”

I halted, my fingers on the cold door knob of the exit, my eyes planted upon the white, blinding paint that I so much hated. I couldn’t think for an instance, the sound of screeching tires and that single scream halting all thought process. My skin felt hard around my eyes, like I was simply looking out from a shell, my eyes blinded by the wretched asylum paint.

“My life…….” I whispered, letting the words slide out of my mouth as I stared in a daze. “……… is my business.”

“But you cant keep it a secret from me forever.” He said confidently, his mean, hard eyes upon my back. “Eventually, old demons come back to haunt you Tazial. Take my word for it.”


It occurred to me the next day, as I tossed my brief case in a disheveled mess upon the concrete floor and took my seat, that yesterday had been the first time I had been the one to abruptly end our session. Noticing the devilish gleam in his eyes and a Mona Lisa smile, I took note of his rare good mood and promised that despite his attempts to pry into my personal life, I was never going to give him the satisfaction of angering me so.

“Bring your tape recorder?” he asked slyly.

“Of course.”

“Good, you left in such a hurry yesterday, I feared I might never see you again. Ah but they always come crawling back in the end don’t they doctor? Don’t even try to pretend you don’t want to know the rest of my story, for I have much more to tell and the rest is unfathomably more interesting than my dull beginning, though I’m certain you realize I had no choice but to give you the details of that.

“But enough of this chit chat Tazial, I’m ready when you are.”

I’d barely slapped the record button on the cassette when he began.

“The rest of my story, or the most important parts in my opinion, begin now. What I’ve given so far was but a brash, pathetic attempt to recount what had happened in my childhood years. My slavery, my despair, and my happiness with Zarbon. I suppose I might have simply summed it all up that way and been done with it, but you know as well as I do, a story cannot have an ending if its never truly started.

“And so I end the first part of my life, at the age of fifteen, Zarbon’s consort and pet of the abominable Frieza. But let me add one more detail into the mix that I hold to be a very important part of my childhood, or young boyhood as it were.

“I wont go deep into description or take up unnecessary amounts of both our times but I want to make it clear that without this small detail of my life, I doubt the man sitting before you would be the same.

“The tale is simply this. After my brush with death at the hands of Frieza, and the unfortunate demise of Zarbon’s only son, Hemnock, there was nothing more we could do but survive together in our state of depression. It seemed there was nothing I could do to brighten his mood, and my own guilt in the matter weighed upon me like a stone around my neck. At night I would hold onto him desperately, sleeping in his bed again and abandoning my own for the time being until he returned to his rash, vain and impossible self.

“The only down side was that he wasn’t returning to himself. He would train me in a daze, letting me land kicks and blows when I knew very well that he could have dodged them with ease. He would purge planets with no passion or sport, merely clearing the lands around him with one or two blasts and returning to the ship mutely.

“But I don’t think any of that really bothered me as much as the final straw that made me certain of what I must do. It was his flowers.”

“His flowers?” I interjected with raised eyebrows.

“Well…..well yes.” He said, his own eyebrows moving slightly towards each other. “Well you see, Zarbon was obsessed with beauty, with pretty things. You know all this so I wont expound. But for him to desert his beloved flowers and trees that decorated his immaculate room, for him to overlook their care until the vines and greenery had all but withered to nothing around us as we slept in bed. But it wasn’t just that. Oh no. I wish I could say that it had been, for I might have reacting in a more…... sane way. But Zarbon began to dismiss his own personal hygiene, something he most certainly NEVER would have done before.

“He was an avid believer in the theory that cleanliness was Godliness, and so when I noticed his assortment of brushes and combs being abandoned to the dust of cabinets, I rushed at once to his room, finding him in a clumsy ball on the bed.

“I insisted that he stop this self pity, this display of weakness that left him prey for public mockery. I demanded that he pay more attention to my studies, that he take me with him to the next search and destroy mission, that he return to his duties and act like himself once more.

“ “But I cant Vegeta.” He whispered, his eyes never even glancing towards me. “Don’t you see anything? Are you so blinded by your selfishness and youth that you mock my pain? Get out. I wont hear this from one so young as you. What do you know of anything? You’re spoiled.”

“ “Of course I am.” I spat back, crossing my arms and regarding him like an inferior. “You’ve done a marvelous job of it and I’m thankful. But don’t pretend that I’m stupid Zarbon. You’ve seen to that as well. And I’m not blind thank you very much. I see quite clearly the disgrace you’ve allowed yourself to fall into.”

“ “Get out.” He growled, throwing his arm over his face.

“ “No,” I countered. “YOU get out! Do something, anything! But don’t let yourself wither away in here like one of your dreadful flowers, I know that you...... you…”

“I sat down beside him, my hand coming to his shoulder in a rare display of tenderness that I reserved souly for him.

“ “I know that you miss him Zarbon,” I whispered. “I cannot imagine what it feels like for you, so I wont try. You’re right about my being young. I haven’t lost as you have. But I don’t mock or try to pity you.”

“I brushed his frizzled, tangled green hair from his face.

“ “I simply miss you is all. Yes, that’s what it is. I want you to come back to who you are and be yourself again. Surely you can’t just waste away like this. You’ve got so much more to live for and-..”

“ “But what Vegeta?” he asked, climbing to a sitting position. “What do I have to live for? My entire existence on this ship has been endured with the one idea that hope still remained, if not for me, for my son. I lived through the beatings, through the hate and anger and rage that filled me at the loss of my wife. But I did it because I knew Hemnock still lived, still breathed because of me. It was all I had left. The one dream and now its gone. Tell me about this “so much”…. Tell me about all this that I have to live for. Apparently I’ve completely forgotten.”

“ “But you only need to be reminded Zarbon,” I said softly, touching his cheek. “You have something very important to live for. Me.” I smiled. “Live for me if nothing else.”

“Zarbon laid back upon the bed, folding his hands over his powerful chest and gazing at the ceiling once more.

“ “Ah but it were so easy my young friend,” he sighed. “He’ll take you away too you know. Eventually. When there is nothing more of me to stand for, when you’re truly all I have, he’ll take you from me. That’s what love is all about. Love is an invitation for loss. It serves no other purpose and you do well to learn this lesson now, rather than the hard way. Love will do you no good Vegeta. It will make you happier than you’ve ever been, filling your heart with a completeness you’d never even known wasn’t there and then it will break you to pieces, until you’re certain that death could be the only gift left for you to receive. Until you long for death, simply to end the pain. You want death like nothing else BECAUSE of that pain. And the emptiness you feel NEVER goes away.

“ “THAT, is love my precious Vegeta. That is where it gets you and where it leaves you. Heed my warning and stray as far away from it as you can, because in the end, you’ll hate more than you can love and your bitterness will consume you.”

“And that was where I learned the unspoken truth that so many warriors had realized. That love was a commodity that a soldier simply couldn’t possess. It was too fragile, too frail. It left a man vulnerable and weak and so it was better never to be tried. And I thought for a long time that I would NEVER fall prey to something so mundane, something so obviously stupid. I’ve told you how vane and pretentious I was. I thought myself to be the smartest creature the universe has ever known, learning from other’s mistakes rather than repeating on my own. But life simply can’t be lived that way and with time, I was certain to learn.

“But that wasn’t what I meant to tell anyways, though it was to an extent. The real story goes this way. I insisted that Zarbon live, if only just for me, if only just to stay with me until I had no more use of him, which I secretly knew could never happen. I was dependent on him, not for protection anymore, not for knowledge really, but for a friendship I offered to no one else. He was my father and my friend and to my knowledge, there was never a closeness experienced by anyone else that could rival our own.

“An idea occurred to me, as I sat there stating all the reasons he must return to his former way of life, repeating some of those I’d already said. But the idea was God sent and my eyes were alight as I told him.

“ “Come to Nomache with me.” I implored, grabbing both of his hands in my own. “Come, let us leave this place. If it horrifies you so much, than lets go, both of us and return to Nomache. Can you imagine it?”

“It seemed my own excitement suddenly found its way into him and a bit of his old shading returned right before my eyes. His eyes began to glitter and I secretly embraced myself for such a bold and ingenious move. True, it was insane. No doubt about that. But I felt as sure about it as anything and I continued in haste, telling him all of the details that were making their way known to me even as I spat out the words.

“ “Cant you see the very possibilities of it Zarbon? We could leave here tonight even! Just take a ship, knock the scanners off our tail, cover our tracks by going slightly off course and bam! Two days from now we could be living the fabulous life of Nomache guests! If you cant live simply for me, find another reason in Nomache. Oh! Oh! OH! But imagine the possibilities!”

“ “Yes,” He stammered, ringing his hands together. “Yes we could pull it off couldn’t we? With our minds combined, there’s no way they could stop us and even if they did manage to find us, with our strength, Frieza’s soldiers would be no match and we’d certainly escape them. Well its not like the old bird would come himself or anything!”

“ “Oh no but he’s too high and mighty for that. The fiend! I can just picture his face now.” I teased. “ ‘Where are those two?! VEGETA! ZARBON!! Oh where could my two prettiest pets be hiding?’ ”

“Zarbon buckled over with laughter, his skin tone flushed with color and his golden eyes glittering with possibilities and life. It was as if years of age were wiped away, and he was my beautiful twenty year old companion once again. He dabbed at the corner of his eyes where moisture was leaking and smiled a fresh, Zarbon grin.

“ “Lets do it.” He answered.

“And that’s just what we did too. True, we didn’t leave as quickly as I had hoped, but Zarbon assured me that if we were really going to do this, it had to be done right or not at all. He wasn’t about to risk getting himself killed unless it was for the right reason. And so we lived our lives as we always had, I, returning to my own room, and Zarbon tending to his indoor paradise once more. During the day we were the inseparable favorites of Frieza, just like always, the pretty ones that were given the most freedom and the choice of which planets we wanted to purge for that week.

“But by night time, in the safety of our own thoroughly inspected rooms, we were like two criminals plotting our escape from prison. We drew maps, we shared code words, we collected supplies. We had it all planned out.

“And on one day, when I’d finally come to my breaking point, when I’d finally had the very last I could take of Frieza’s suggestive taunts, Zarbon informed me that it was time to leave.

“ “I think if I stay on this godforsaken ship one more day I’ll simply go mad.” He commented dryly as we packed what we would need in very meager supply. We couldn’t raise any amount of suspicion and we walked the hallways towards the docking chamber as we always had. Heads raised in conceit, noses in the air and haughty grins pasted on our faces, even as we were nearly shaking right out of our boots.

“Zarbon had paid quite the hefty price for our own ship, a minuscule, hideous little planet jumper that barely fit one of us let alone two. The launching manager seemed hardly suspicious as two of Frieza’s most precious loaded the ship with a small amount of cargo and simply stated that they were going on a mission.

“And just like that we were on our way, our hearts full of a new found hope that neither had known could still be experienced after so many years of despair. We were like two slaves learning to live again. Learning was it was to feel freedom for the first time in years. And I tell you Camden, it was the greatest feeling I could ever have known at the time. I’m not going to go too far into detail with this story, as it isn’t that important.

“But just know that as we landed in that remote part of Nomache, changing into simple clothes of brown and gold, I’d never known what it was like not to fear. Surely there was an intelligent amount of caution regarding those who might recognize us, but for the first time, I let myself smile, truly smile, letting go of the transgressions of life that had held it back for so long.

“Zarbon was quick to find an exceptional brothel, and paying an enormous amount, rented a gorgeous penthouse for a month, prostitutes included. And that’s where we stayed, my heaven, my paradise lost. Resting for what precious hours we could for the day and rising at night like vampires to hunt the lower quarters for what exceptional specimens we would enjoy that evening.

“There were days when I would take 4 to 5 prostitutes up into the penthouse, challenging myself one after another. It became like a little game between me and Zarbon, both secretly goading the other on as we partook of our sin a hundred times a night. It was our own private Burlesque house. Our little corner of sin. And we loved it.

“Sometimes during the hours of light, as we called day time then, we would awaken and wander about the city, seeing the sights that were virtually invisible during the night and holding our breaths at the glances of visiting soldiers. But no one seemed to pay us any mind and when days became weeks and weeks turned to months, we began to venture out even more, thrilled at this new idea of freedom and enjoying the unspoken company of each other.

“If I hadn’t known Zarbon before our trip, I knew him entirely by the end of it, spending each fantastical moment by his side and occasionally awakening to him in my bed. We would speak of things we would never have voiced before. Of dreams. Of hopes. Of an unwritten future not stained with blood. No, I’m not going to pretend that me and Zarbon weren’t still blood thirsty. That will always be a part of my nature. But the idea of never purging a planet again was one I could easily digest.

“ “But this cant last forever,” Zarbon had once whispered to me, as we stood on a bridge overlooking beautiful purple water, his emerald green hair let loose and tumbling around us in the wind. “Eventually Nomache’s treaty with Frieza will be terminated and if we aren’t discovered by then, we’ll certainly be destroyed. That’s why its up to us to get stronger. To try harder. To surpass all limits that we hold within our minds. We have to be strong enough to defend our planet if need be and eventually……… eventually Vegeta, it will be you who destroys Frieza’s terrible reign.”

“ “I will be?” I said, not trying to pretend that it wasn’t a daily goal. “What makes you so faithful in me all of a sudden?”

“ “Its your potential Vegeta,” he’d answered, the sunlight hitting his face as he looked down on me. “It’s the strength you hold inside. The strength of a royal line and a slaughtered race of warriors. You have the power to reach your Super Saiyan status if only you train your hardest and become the strongest. An Aqualian’s potential is limited but a Saiyan’s has no boundaries. You can only become stronger and stronger and stronger. If given everlasting life, there’d simply be no way for defeat.

“ “This is why you must get stronger. Because I am tired of being owned and I’m tired of being afraid.”

“So I began to train, harder than I ever had on the ship, which was quite the achievement considering I’d nearly killed myself a million times in Frieza’s captivity. At night I was a playboy through and through, seducing as many women as were present and lying beside Zarbon when I’d gotten enough of them to last me through to the next day. I became quite the alcoholic, winning drinking matches against the burliest of Nomache men, watching as they fell off their stool and I was helped off of mine by the most appetizing of prostitutes.”

“Was your eunuch friend there?” I asked unable to help myself.

“Now why must you bring that up again Tazial?” he sighed, cocking his head to the side.

“Well I just find it amazing that you’re first sexual experience was with a eunuch is all,” I commented to defend myself. “And a eunuch by choice! Now why would anyone want that?”

“Maybe some people don’t like to be limited by gender. Maybe there’s a certain freedom in never being thrown into a stereotype by simply being born. Why be assigned to a specific lifestyle from the day you are born? But enough of that, I want to get this story over with.

“It was on the fourth month of our stay that my sexual appetite had worn itself out and I found myself clambering up the stairs to our room alone, the dark shadows concealing me as I descended up a spiraling stair case I should have known like the back of my hand.

“I stumbled into our room, the purple hues filling my eyes like sunlight and the image of lime green flowers and vines a welcome sight. It took but a moment for my eyes to get used to the darkness but when they did, a small smile lightened upon my face.

“There Zarbon lay, entirely alone on his side, his slender fingers curled beneath his head and a tiny smile stretching his lips while he slept. The light hit his face just right, bringing out the beauty that always stunned me, as many times as I’d stared at it. For the first time, I realized not only my happiness here, but his. He’d never slept so soundly and against what my pride told me, against what all honor and self restraint commanded, I crawled next to him, lying down to face him.

“I let my fingers touch his face lightly, smoothing across the soft skin like velvet, my eyes beginning to burn with an unspoken happiness that made them water. I couldn’t stop my eyebrows from moving upwards and my mouth from smiling in so much bliss, I just couldn’t stop it. My lips began to curl, just looking at him and realizing how much he meant to me.

“ “Where would I be without you?” I whispered. “Who would I be if you hadn’t saved me? If you weren’t here every day to rescue me from who I could become if you were gone?”

“Against my will, I traced my fingers through his beautiful hair, his golden eyes shinning through beneath his long lashes that began to flicker with wakefulness. His breathing changed and part of me knew that he was now conscious and the other told me to keep going as if he wasn’t.

“Everytime I think of life without you, its like I fall. Like I fall because I don’t have you as my wings, there to carry me to heights I never knew existed. To take me to Heaven by your side with each moment I’m with you. You told me not to love Zarbon,” I breathed, seeing his eyes open completely with each passing word. “But like you said, I’m spoiled and I can’t always listen to you.”

“He reached his fingers to my eyes, to touch my eyelids, too soothe my cheeks. But I couldn’t stop, for once letting go of my accursed pride and saying the words that I knew would break me eventually.

“ “If this is love…..” I smiled. “Than how can you warn me against something so beautiful?”

“With those words spoken, he pressed his lips to mine, crawling over me and running his fingers through my hair like water, putting his tongue into my mouth so smoothly until I simply closed my eyes and let myself go with it. I could feel his strong hands pushing back my hair, touching my face as if to treasure this moment forever in his dreams, to keep it sacred.

“I know that I’ll never forget that moment, when I realized what it was to love someone. To appreciate what God has given us, the power to feel so strongly. To need someone and know that in return they need you. To feel a completeness you never knew wasn’t there, just as Zarbon had said.

“My whole life has been centered over the idea of never giving into love. Of fighting it like an enemy. But in those moments when I held him close to me, my father, my brother, my friend, my love, I knew that even with its downfall, it was far better to love than to never try.

“Sometimes at night I can still feel him with me, his beautiful hair wrapped around my fingers, his soft skin like a blanket across me. I awaken at night, reaching over to feel him near, to see in the darkness his form, the sweet smile stretching his face just as it had that night. In my dreams, he’s always smiling, holding me like a child against his chest, the innocent love that we shared with only each other. I see him in my dreams always. He’s here,” He said, touching his fingers to his heart. “Always here inside me. And he’ll always know it, just as you know the sun will shine the next day. That after the rain comes down, a rainbow will touch the sky.

“He’s always a part of me. Of the man I became in the end. Whenever I feel love, I know that its because he taught me how. And that’s the greatest thing you could ever give someone else. To show that love is the most precious thing that we could ever have. Without Zarbon, life would have been darkness. He showed me the light through the thickest of clouds, showing me the beauty of sunlight through the rain. He’ll always be inside of me, showing me that to love, to feel the happiness and the pain, is worth every second. That a life without love, would be to never live.”

Everytime by Britney Spears