Dragon Ball/Z/GT Fan Fiction ❯ Finding Peace ❯ H. ( Chapter 4 )

~~~`````` Chapter 3 H.

I am too connected to you to
Slip away, to fade away.
Days away I still feel you
Touching me, changing me,

And considerately killing me. --Tool

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Vegeta's eyes raised up to the clock next to his side of the bed. Three in the morning, his normal waking time. He looked down upon his mate once more, who was snuggled into his body, her head laying upon his chest. He kissed the top of her head before slowly and carefully maneuvering himself away from her person without waking her up. But of course, when she laid like this, she always woke up since she was a light sleeper.

"How are you able to Train so damn early?" She mumbled, kissing his chest before rolling over on her side, with her back facing him. Vegeta smirked and leaned down to nip her ear before pulling the covers over her bare form.

Vegeta didn't go to the shower, he had taken one four hours ago and besides, he kind of like having his mate's scant cover his entire being. It would help him remember to come back at six when she awoke herself and get a quickie in before she went to take care of their young brat.

He gathered on his spandex uniform, grabbing a few towels before jumping off the balcony and flying to his GR. He slammed the metal door shut, locking it instantly. He made the mistake once to not lock it and his little daughter decided she wanted to spend the day with him. If it weren't for his quick reflects to grab her and protect her with his ki she would have been squished by nine-hundred gravity. Vegeta didn't think that would have gone over so well with his mate.

He went to the control panel, checking to make sure all the equipment was well and good before he turned the simulator on. Vegeta began his series of stretches under eight hundred g's. Now was the time he let himself think about last night.

Vegeta instantly growled though, at the memory. It made him feel…inadequate when he couldn't respond to his mate. But it was like he was numb. No matter if he wanted to or not, he couldn't for the memories disabled him to feel anything but pure disgust. He tried not to think about it, he tried to push it away, but it seemed like it wanted to stay imprinted into his mind. This memory.

He had this dream many times before; it was the only one yet that he denied telling Bulma. She knew that he had raped a few times but she didn't know about that one. Never had it been his own race. Vegeta didn't know why it made such a big difference. It shouldn't. He shouldn't think that just because the woman was Sayian it was a bigger deal then all the others he had deviled. But to him, it was something that nipped at his pride and honor. He was a prince of the Sayian Race and he had killed the last female of his kind and in contrast to that, denied a future for Sayians to make a come back, to reproduce.

And a thought that had killed him more then anything else, he didn't even notice. He didn't take the time to take in the woman's scent, to even think about the color of her eyes, the built of her body. His own race, he didn't recognize. But it was a thought that he could defend. He was only on Vegeta-sei till he was six, the only Sayian female he saw was his mother but she was taken from life when he was four. He had all male teachers, all male servants, the cooks were female but they never came out of the kitchen. And then he was taken and never once saw another Sayian female again, besides of the one he killed.

So he couldn't blame himself. He couldn't let himself believe that it was his fault for the destruction of his race, that it was his fault for the Sayians to never have one ounce of hope of getting another chance at life. It was Frieza's fault. Frieza's and his father's.

That's whom he was fighting at this moment as he pounded the thick air before him, dodging the training bots' blast. He weaned through the fire balls while they followed him around the room, some sneaking from behind the large control panel in the middle to cut him in his blind side. Vegeta hissed as one chipped his leg, he snapped his eyes down to it only taking a second to see the damage before he set off after the accused bot. Blood ran down his large calf for it was sliced open to the bone. He would have to be careful on that leg.

With a quick shift in his body, he smashed the machine to pieces, smirking to himself as it slammed to the ground. But he wasn't able to enjoy his vengeance for another came from behind and began to send him a series of strong ki blasts, but Vegeta was not unawares which made it all the more easier to just back hand the power away.

The look in Bulma's eyes as she stared up at him. He could see it. All of it. And it made him ignite with hatred for his being. He couldn't react to her touch and she thought it was her fault. She thought that his passion for her had long ago burned out no matter how many times he tried to reassure her it hadn't. She was his life mate. And that apparently meant nothing to her. Still after so long.

Bulma had been insecure about their relationship ever since Buu. Who was he kidding?! She was always insecure about their relationship but it wasn't ever really dwelled upon till he died. Till he had given into Babadi without a single thought of his family. She had thought it was her fault. That she didn't love him enough to change him. That conversation was never lost to him.

~````

"I have changed!" Vegeta ranted taking a step towards his almost weeping mate. "I have changed into a pathetic replica of that fool Kakarot."

Her eyes seemed to pull back as she looked at him with hurt shining in her blue orbs, "Is that what you think? That feeling for me, feeling for your son, automatically makes you pathetic?"

"Onna, My whole life I was made to be the perfect warrior. And since I left Frieza's army I have become everything opposite of my destiny. In the eyes of my father, of Frieza, of my whole Sayian race, I am nothing but a disgrace to them. I wanted to prove to them and to myself that I am the Sayian Prince, the legendary, the prophesied savior. And I received my chance. And I took it."

"So instead of for your family, you wanted to prove to DEAD people that you were still a beast?!"

"No, I wanted to prove that I was still me! Not a beast! I am not a beast in their eyes, only in yours!" She turned away at the admission. He calmed himself before he spoke again, "And it was then I realized, that I didn't care anymore. Thirty years of my life fighting for what I thought I wanted, it meant nothing. Everything I strove for, everything I lived for, it was all for nothing. Instead of for my race, instead of for my father, it was you that I fought for now. I cannot take back what I have done. I do not want to. I regret nothing."

Bulma turned to him once again, "You regret nothing? What about those hundreds of people you killed, Vegeta?! You would have killed me if I had not taken one step more--"

"I knew where you were! I knew. No matter what state I was in, you were never once out of my mind."

"How can you say that when you willingly took the power from Babadi?!"

"You were still there! But I pushed you away! I needed to do that, Bulma, don't you see? I needed to do one more thing for myself."

"That is what this was all about Vegeta. You."

"Yes. It was. I deserved it. After everything I have been through, I deserved one more chance to figure out what it is that the gods have planned for my life. And I finally figured it out."

"And what did you figure out, Vegeta?"

"That there is no plan. No destiny. There doesn't have to be a point. There doesn't have to be a reason. You live. That is all."

~~~~````

It took her a long time to fully understand why he had done what he did. He couldn't explain any better then he had so he just needed to gradually work his way back into her heart. Nine years later and it still hurt her from time to time about his betrayal. He knew it would. He just wished that he could make it go a little faster so no more doubt would linger in her eyes as she looked upon him. But it was always there.

~~``

Vegeta caught sight of the horizon where the sun was starting to peak through to wake up this side of the world. He found it weird when he first arrived on this planet that half of the world slept while the other half worked and then it switched when the sun sinks below. On Vegeta-sei, everyone woke up together, worked together and slept together. But then, that would account for having two suns on each side of the planet.

He shut down the simulator, wanting to catch his mate, hopefully she would be in the shower. He knew she wouldn't even touch him with all the blood and sweat that covered his battered form.

Besides the splitting pain in his calf where dry blood had clotted the wound to keep it from bleeding more, Vegeta walked normal, knowing he would have to fly up for if the woman found blood on her carpet she would throw a fit. He opted to do it just for the show but then decided against it, after last night, he didn't want her to think any less of him. Even though, he himself knew she thought nothing of his performance last night, it still had bent his pride not being able to carry out what he had started.

He flew up to the balcony, putting most of his weight on his good leg. He peaked inside, seeing the empty bed and smirked at the sound of water running and the woman's humming. Annoying as it was, Vegeta didn't cringe, he was used to it by now.

Stripping his now ruined spandex suit off, he flung over into the garbage/hamper. The woman usually went through his clothes, deciding weather the piece was salvageable or not. Most of the time it was the latter.

He glanced down at his leg, scowling himself for getting hit so blindly. The blood covered his whole leg, running along his foot and ruining his boot. He flicked those off, being extra hard on the leg he was careless of, causing more pain then he would like to admit, but he had to punish himself somehow. He shouldn't have let it get that close. Just imagine if it was a real live enemy, they would have taken off his leg.

He flew just a centimeter off the ground so as not to put his bloody foot upon the carpet. He dropped when he was in the bathroom, getting full sight of his luscious female through the pure glass, see-through door. She was running her hands through her hair, letting the water soak it and relax her. While her eyes were closed, Vegeta slipped in, quietly shutting the door behind him as not make aware his mate that he was with her. He watched her for a few seconds as she enjoyed the hot water streaming down upon her neck, riding along her curves till it reached the puddle at her feet and into the drain. Vegeta, slightly jealous that the water was closer to her then he could ever be, he stepped foreword, resting his hands on her wide hips.

Though she acted like she felt nothing, so used of having him join her, she just let a smile grace her soft lips. "I had hoped you'd come in." In response, he yanked her into his body before turning around and backing into the water so he could have a turn, "Hey, turn on your own shower head." She scowled as she reached around and flicked the nozzle. Now two sprays of hot water directed against them for moments like this. Bulma had put them in when they first started their little affair, this way, no matter what they were doing, both could be in the hot liquid.

She wrapped her arms around his neck, resting her forehead against his shoulder as he held her. She unconsciously shivered as his lips descended upon her old moon-shaped scar that he had given her a short time after Trunks was born. She left his hands rise to her sides, as if asking permission to go further. "Vegeta, no. You know I can't this morning, I have to hurry, I have a meeting this morning." But his hands kept rising at the slowest pace known to Sayian kind. Bulma didn't want to decline his no doubt pleasurable offer since she knew just why he came this morning. He wanted to make up for last night. She wanted to talk to him, tell him that it was fine, and it happens to a lot of men his age, but that conversation wouldn't go very far because for a Sayian, he was still in his prime. However she wanted him to know that he didn't have to prove himself to her. She knew his appetite for sex, he could screw her seven days a week, twenty-four hours a day and still not tire of having sex. So why did he feel the need to prove to her anything?

Bulma then had to admit to herself that it made her self-confidence rise just a bit. When she can't excite him like last night, it bruises her ego. Makes her feel worthless to her husband. But she understood what was wrong. It wasn't either of their faults. Vegeta's mind just sometimes takes control of him. He can't help that. Nor prevent it.

Bulma giggled as his hands reached the sides of her breasts where she just happened to be very sensitive. "Vegeta, stop." She wiggled away, pushing his strong hands away. "Come on, I'll wash you, turn around." Bulma grabbed the body of liquid soap as he complied. She poured it into her palm and shared it with her other before placing her hands upon his scarred and mutilated back.

Some of the old gashes, she knew where he had gotten them from, but not how. Like the one that ran from his shoulder blade down to his nub of a tail, a centimeter deep and an inch wide was from Zarbon, that was all he had said about it. He wouldn't go into much detail with her ever. He would just say he got beaten and thrown in the cell which she still didn't know what happened in the cell. He dreamed about it more then anything else. The one that looks like a hole was drilled into the bottom of his rib cage that was about a half an inch deep. That one he got on a purge. Again she didn't know how. The first time she had been allowed to wash his back, she had counted how many scars they were. She found thirty and that is not including the seventeen on his front. Nor the too many to count scars on his arms. Bulma had questioned him about his Sayian healing, and how come those wounds hadn't been able to heal. She never received an answer for that.

"Woman…" He almost groaned bringing Bulma from her far off place to realize that she was rubbing around his nub of fur. She took her hands away scowling her self for leading him on. She dropped to her knees, running her hands of his tight buttocks smiling as he flexed his butt muscles. She washed down to his foot before switching but it was then she found dry blood all around his calf and stained along his foot.

"Vegeta, did you get blood on my carpet coming up here?" She instantly accused as she stood. He turned around to face her with a smirk. She instantly went to slap his chest but he caught it and brought the hand to his lips, kissing her knuckles before her palm, her anger wiped from existence.

He yanked her to him, wrapping his arm around her back to arch her chest up against his as he dragged his lips across hers. Vegeta smirked into her mouth as her other hand gripped his shoulder. She had just succumb to him. He knew he could win.

"Mommy?" The two broke from each other to snap their head to the door. "Mommy, where are you?" A knock sounded on the bathroom door.

Bulma pulled from her husband's grasp, quickly washing the soap off her hands. She turned and kissed Vegeta on the lips, sorrow in her eyes at his disappointment, "Hold on sweetie, Mommy's not dressed." She got out, letting Vegeta finish his shower.

"Where's daddy? He not in the GR."

"He's in here, baby, hold on, Ok. Go wake up your brother."

"Ok." She squealed before waddling out.

Bulma brushed her teeth while somehow wrapping a towel around looking up in the mirror as he got out, slamming the door surprisingly gently since it didn't smash into a million pieces like the ones before. She had to make an appointment to install unbreakable glass.

She finished up and kissed Vegeta's check as he was brushing his own teeth. She nipped his ear, "I'll make it up to you, I promise." She smacked his butt as she retreated only to giggle at the growl she received.

~`

Vegeta entered the open window in the living, hearing his baby girl's squeal in giggles as his son tickled her at the far end of the round room where the kitchen was situated. His mate telling Trunks to stop teasing her. Vegeta stepped on the tiled floor, Trunks instantly stopped his playful ways while Bra ran from her brother to wrap her body around her father's leg, "Daddy, mommy says I get to spend day wit you."

"With you, Bra." Her mother corrected her as she winked toward her husband who glared at her.

"She did, did she?" He almost growled. What the hell is he going to do with a four year old brat all day long, who doesn't like to train?!

"Yea, can you take me to see animals at zoo? Or, or go to the park? Or, or--"

"Bra, honey, let daddy sit down, he's hungry, aren't you hungry?"

"Yes, momma." Bra detached herself and hurried to her high chair and jumped in. Vegeta went to the fridge and pulled out a gallon of milk for himself before stepping behind his mate.

He whispered into her ear, "When were you going to tell me that?"

"I was going to tell you in the shower but umm." She smiled and glanced down, "Something came up." She flashed him her smile and the sparkle in her eye before she lifted a piece of bacon to his lips. He took it with a growl, letting her know he was not at all happy at her humor.

Vegeta planted himself in his chair next to his daughter who was indulging herself with making a mess of her food, adding her juice to her pancakes before stuffing a fist full of food into her mouth where half of it fell onto the floor. "Your mother needs to teach you how to eat," He stated before looking over at his son who's head was down as he played with his food, "What are you doing today, boy?"

"I umm, I am umm--"

"Good, then you can watch the brat." AT that Trunks snapped his head up.

"But dad--"

"No arguments, boy."

So instead, Trunks turned his head, "Mom!"

"Trunks is going to be busy, Vegeta. And besides, Bra wants to spend time with you."

Vegeta slit his eyes toward his son who had momentarily had the look of triumph upon his features before his met his father's look. He instantly slouched down some, "What are you doing that is so important?"

Bulma cut in while placing four plates of food in front of her husband, "Well, if you must know. He's going to be helping me."

Vegeta looked up at his mate, trying to meet her eyes but she refused and he knew immediately she was lying, "Tell me the truth, now." He demanded.

He watched as the two of them exchanged 'a look' and knew whatever it was they were willing to lie to him. It either one had to be bad, or two had to deal with Kakarot, which was one in the same. Bulma shrugged and Trunks spoke up, "I. I'm going on a date."

"What the hell is that?"

Bulma sighed as she set herself in her chair, "It is where a guy and a girl spend time together, to get to know each other."

"Meaning to fuck each other?"

"NO!" Bulma cut off scowling at her husband and at his ignorance. "Vegeta don't you say stuff like that in front of Bra." She said in a hush tone, glaring at him. Vegeta just smirked as he flicked his eyes at his son who was blushing profusely. It was what the boy had planned obviously. "You just talk to each other. Right, Trunks?" She sent her eyes over to him quickly making sure he had no other plans as he nodded in response.

"All day?" Vegeta cocked an eyebrow.

"Yes."

"Why the secrecy?"

"He just didn't want you to know, that's all. No big deal."

"For now." With that, he threw the conversation away, and crammed down his food. He'll get the boy cornered later and figure out the truth as to why they had kept it from him. To him it wasn't any big deal. He was kind of wondering when the boy would need to mate before he started going crazy. He was sixteen and Sayian heats start at the age of ten so he didn't really understand why the boy was still undefiled. Humans were weird creatures, maybe that was the problem.

"Ok, I have to go, just put the dishes in the sink." She kissed her little girl, "Grammy will come and pick you up from Daddy at two. Look at you, baby, what have I told you. The objective is to get the food in your mouth, sweetie." Bulma wiped the Bra's mouth and hands before lifting her out of the seat and setting her on her feet. She ran off to watch her cartoons.

Trunks rose, placing his dishes in the sink before joining his sister.

Vegeta rose from his chair, stepping up behind Bulma as she cleaned the counter top. He wrapped his arms around her waist causing her to stop her actions and lean back into him, "When will you be back?"

"Four maybe five. I'll be home for dinner."

"What am I going to do with the brat?"

"Take her to the park. You can train while she plays."

"Why can you not just get a person to watch her?"

"Because, remember the last time that happened? Bra used her powers that you have yet taught her to control and set the woman's hair on fire. And if that wasn't the biggest problem, Bra was too fast for the Baby sitter to watch. She's rebellious with strangers, Vegeta. Besides." Bulma turned in his arms, "I thought it would be good for the both of you. You never play with your daughter."

"I do so."

"Oh, yeah, when?"

"We watched those stupid cartoons the other day."

"You mean the cartoons you watched with her two weeks ago for two minutes before you told her they were stupid and she ended up yelling at you."

"She has your large mouth. And they were stupid. They will delude her mind."

"This is pointless and I have to go." She kissed him before hurrying across the large round room to the metal door, shouting out "Love you!" before the elevator door shut.

"Bye dad!" Came another quick voice, as Trunks powered up and jumped off the balcony allowing Vegeta no room for rebuttal while he stepped up behind the couch. His eyes knit together. What kind of 'date' starts at seven in the morning? From his memories of when his mate and the fool Yamcha went out, it had always been at night. Vegeta sighed throwing the pointless thoughts away as he then took his eyes to the couch where little blue orbs stared wide at him in that childhood innocents and curiosity.