Dragon Ball/Z/GT Fan Fiction ❯ Finding Peace ❯ Memory Remains ( Chapter 15 )

~~`` Chapter 14 --Memories Remain

My past won't be my fate and my scars won't hold me down.

I have to save myself.

Memories, they haut my life,

nowhere to run, nowhere to hide,

trapped again in my own hell--Death for every sin

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Vegeta snapped open his eyes, glancing around the dark room. Something had woken him up but what? He shifted, slowly removing his body from his mate's to turn and glance at the clock. Two in the morning. Something was wrong. He could feel it in his blood.

A low groan.

Vegeta threw his eyes to the nightstand, scanning the small area. It came from there. He waited patiently in the dark for sound.

"Mommy…" A voice whispered so softly, Vegeta barely caught it himself. He reached over his mate and grabbed the white square thingy that the sound had come from. He looked upon it, analyzing it. This was what the woman used when Bra was a baby. It on many occasions had woken them up with the child's incessant crying. What the hell was it doing in here now?

"No…please…" That sounded like the boy.

Vegeta growled low in his throat and quickly searched the area for any unwanted kis. But there were none. Trunks' ki was a bit high to be resting. Vegeta flung the covers off of him, gently rising not wanting to disrupt his mate. He grabbed a pair of navy pajama pants, quickly slipping them on before leaving the room and going down the hall to his son's bedroom.

Vegeta silently peaked in. A small light was on next to the boy's bed, illuminating his child's sweaty features. Trunks head slightly thrashed while his legs and arms weakly wiggled beneath the sheets. "Daddy, no…" He mumbled.

Vegeta knitted his brows before stepping over to the child, finding the pale wet face slightly flushed at the cheeks. The pure-blooded Sayian flicked his eyes to the heart monitor, which was beeping faster then it should be. The boy was having a nightmare.

Vegeta raised the back of his hand to the boy's forehead. Why was the boy hot? He should be just fine now that he had the blood transfusion. He gazed down seeing the boy's hands clenched the sheets tightly as he groaned incoherent words. Vegeta shook his head, hatred for his being ran through him while he watched his son be tortured in his sleep because of his stupidity.

Vegeta went into the bathroom, grabbing a clothe and soaking it with cold water then going back to his son and laying it upon the boy's forehead. Vegeta pulled down the sheet to view the child's wound on his stomach only to be greeted by blood-soaked gauze. He shook his head in annoyance. Why hadn't that healed yet!? Sure, it wasn't just a flesh wound but he should be at least healed by now. All of his other lacerations had been long since fixed. Had he put too much power in his blast, hitting some organ inside of him? The read-out hadn't said he did but that could be wrong.

Vegeta grabbed sterilized gloves from the box, snapping them on. He cautiously began to tear away the sticky bandage. Trunks the whole time slept in his nightmare, cringing and groaning. Vegeta wondered what in the world could cause the boy to react like this. Nightmares shouldn't even exist in the child for Trunks was as pure as his little sister. So what could it be?

Vegeta bared his teeth at the ugly wound. Why was it still so bad? Forty-eight hours had past since it was made, the Sayian half-breed should be up and walking for kami's sake. Vegeta washed all around the dead skin, peeling some away and hissing at the sickening, but familiar stench of burnt flesh. He looked in the gap of blood, trying to see if he could find anything that would cause so much blood but obviously he came up with nothing. If it was still bad tomorrow, he will have the woman do a MRI, as the humans call it.

Vegeta dressed the wound once again, pulling the blanket up only to be met by tired blue orbs staring up at him. "You're awake." Vegeta gruffed, hating the thought of being caught 'caring' for his son.

"Bad dream." He whispered. Vegeta watched the boy embarrassingly looked away to wipe the tears from his cheeks. Trunks grabbed the cloth on his forehead and rubbed it across his heated face, breathing slightly heavy.

"About what?"

Trunks eyes snapped to his, nervously shaking his head, "Nothing important."

"About what, boy?"

Trunks dropped his head against the pillow turning slightly away knowing he would have to answer his very stern father. "I umm.." He swallowed hard, "I sometimes dream about…Majin Buu. That's all."

"That is not all. You would not be acting as such if it were."

"Don't make me say it, dad. I don't want you to think me weak or anything." Trunks watched with knitted eyes when his father walked over to his desk and grabbed the chair, carrying it over to his bedside before plopping in it with crossed arms and a scowl on his stubborn face. Trunks gently chuckled at the man, cringing at his reaction but smiling nonetheless as he gazed at his father. "You're weird."

"Explain." Vegeta stated harshly, not letting his son get out of this one so easily. Majin Buu was something they never once talked about. Well, Bulma talked to Trunks about it, but he never did. And if the boy still had nightmares over it then there was something bigger there. Something that still bothered the boy after eight years.

Trunks sighed once more, turning his face away and staring at the wall before him. He contemplated on how to put his dream into words. He finally had a chance to talk about it with his father, could he really share everything his mind still haunted about with him? Would his father think him weak? That was the only thing that kept from saying anything but he could feel the eyes of his father beat upon him and knew that there was no escape. No matter if the older man thought him weak, he would have to tell him anyway. "I remember…everything up until the time you knocked me out." The boy's eyes seemed to drift as he went back in time mentally to the day where his father, was taken from him. "I watched as my father, the strongest person I've ever known get crashed by that pink blob. And all I could think at the time was why weren't you fighting at your best. Why weren't you trying? When I was a kid, you were…everything to me. Everything that I wanted and tried so hard to be." Vegeta averted his eyes, not letting the tear that fell from his son's cheek leave his memory. "After I woke up. And found out you were dead. Something broke. I don't know what. But I could feel it snap inside of me so slow. Like it wanted to make the pain so much worse. I wanted to defeat Buu for taking you away. But I couldn't. I was too weak to avenge you. And all I could think was how disappointed you would be." Trunks took a deep breath, sniffing quietly not wanting to let his father know of his pitiful tears. He sighed out heavily before brightly talking again, not letting any pain stretch through his lips no matter the turmoil going on inside of him. "Anyway. I just sometimes dream about that. That's all. Nothing big. I'll get over it eventually."

Vegeta gazed at his child, amazed at how much pride he felt for his son at that moment. For so long his offspring had kept that to himself. Waking even Vegeta himself up in the middle of the night by his high ki while he dreamed of this past event. He couldn't believe that the child had kept this from him. Why hadn't Trunks told him? True, they really never talked but if the boy wanted to talk to him about something he would surely stall in whatever he was doing.

Vegeta chuckled inwardly as the child began to fidget under his heavy gaze. The boy sure was self-conscious. Vegeta took in a deep breath biting his cheek in thought. "You know I never expected you to beat Buu." He stated gently but serious.

"That's what mom told me. But I still…I still feel like it was my right. Sayian instinct I guess." He watched as his father nodded to him. "I tried so hard, dad. But the power…shared between me and Goten, it corrupted us. We thought we were invincible. And that screwed us over big time. I'm just sorry. I failed you."

"Trunks." Vegeta growled. He did not like those words coming from his only son. The child was simply an idiot if he thought that. "You have done everything but fail me. So stop thinking such shit. I did not expect you to avenge me. You were young. Too young to be put into combat with such a superior opponent. Kakarot was an imbecile when he left it up to you two young ones' hands to save the universe. That is the end of discussion and you will think about it no more, do you understand me, boy?"

Trunks stared at his father in awe before he laughed, nodding, "Yes, dad. I got you."

"Good, now sleep. The wound in your stomach has not healed yet. By tomorrow, if it is not done bleeding, the woman will do surgery to fix you." Vegeta heaved himself from the chair, strutting over to the door only to be stopped by his son's voice. He turned his head indicating he was listening.

"What'd I do?"

Vegeta knitted his brows and turned to him. "What do you mean?"

"I mean…why'd you get so mad at me?" Trunks motioned with his eyes to his body. But what he saw when he looked back up at his father, he could honestly say it was the first time he had ever seen a sort of sadness appear upon the older man's features.

Vegeta had been hoping the boy would just let him leave without asking that question but, while slowly shutting the door again, Vegeta knew it was inevitable. He sighed, not really knowing how to begin but also knowing that he had to explain. His son deserved to know that much.

Walking back over to the chair, Vegeta sat in it with a heavy breath. He felt the boy's eyes upon him, trying to dig into him. He pinched the bridge of his nose, glancing up, eyeing the boy, almost cursing himself to hell for ever having children. He didn't deserve the affections nor the constant 'love' they always were willing to share.

Vegeta looked away from the boy, placing his hands in his lap, staring out of the window. "It was nothing that you did, son."

"Did I say something?"

Vegeta halted in response. He turned his black eyes to the smaller blue eyes that replicated his mate's. "Yes, but…it was something that was said a long time ago."

"I. I don't understand."

"How much do you now of my past life?"

"Not much. I know you're a prince of Sayians. And you were part of Frieza's army."

"The woman told you that I suppose?"

"Some of it. Kakarot told me a little bit more about Frieza but you know how he thinks every one has a good side to them so he put it in light terms."

"And you, I suppose want the truth."

"Yes. But only if you want to tell me."

"In time, I will tell you everything you would like to know. But not now. Just know, I didn't know I was fighting you. In my mind, you were some one else. Had I known, son…I. I. Wouldn't of…"

Trunks smiled at his father's stutter, never once hearing the man do that unless it hit a too sensitive conversation. "You wouldn't have hurt me. I know, dad."

"Do you, Trunks?"

The young one peered into his father's serious orbs. His sire was silently trying to get him to understand without having to explain it, something that he wasn't very good at. Trunks smiled and nodded, "I do, dad. I don't need to hear you say it. I know it's hard for you. I just don't know why. Maybe when I'm older, I'll be able to understand better. But you don't have to explain anything to me now."

Vegeta gazed upon his son. The boy was so…understanding. More then he should be at his age. He certainly had his and the woman's brains that was for sure. Vegeta nodded before leaving the room and shutting the door.

He entered his own room, meeting the blue glistening eyes of his mate's as she stared up at him from the bed. The talking monitor held in her hand. She smiled before placing it down, "I wasn't trying to listen in, I was shutting it off that's all." She removed the covers from his side and watched him remove his pajama pants before laying his body down upon the bed only to be wrapped in the woman's arms and sheets. Vegeta sighed heavily as he laid his head back, staring at the ceiling. "Our son is as perfect as they come, isn't he?" Bulma whispered into his neck feeling him nod against her.

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"When did you enter Frieza's army, Mr. Vegeta?"

"Six."

"And when did you get out of it?"

"Sixteen."

"Ten years. In that time, what were you made to do?"

Vegeta stared out through the large glass window, watching the humans below walk about without a care in the world. His hands clenched into fists while his arms were crossed over his chest. He stood straight, muscles tight remembering every little thing that he was ever made to do. How could he explain everything? It was a long list that Vegeta really didn't want to explain. "To kill."

"Anything else?"

The on-looking humans watched as the Sayian swallowed, eyes wondering up to the sky. "I was made to rape. To torture. To fight in order to survive."

"Roughly, how many people have you killed?"

A slight pause while Vegeta listened to their pens scribble across their notepads. "A billion, maybe more."

"Do you regret it?"

"No."

"Why?"

"I did what I had to do. I did what I had to do to survive. It's in the past anyway. I cannot make it up. So why regret it?"

"How many have you raped?"

Vegeta's eyes shut, not wanting to see his mate's face when he released this type of information for her ears. She knew that he had done it before, but never did she know how many. "Thirty-two." The silent intake of breath he knew was from his mate as her eyes stared wide at him. He could feel her inside of him, begging for it not to be true. He could feel her agony and her disgust, making him want to kill himself for ever causing pain like that to her. But then suddenly, it calmed just as quickly as it had came. He turned his eyes to her, connecting with her glistening ones and seeing nothing but sorrow. Not pity, just immense sorrow that he had been put through all of that.

"That's the exact number?" Vegeta gave a firm nod, never once leaving his woman's eyes.

"Do you remember each of them?" He nodded once again. "How did you feel when you raped those women?"

Vegeta tore his eyes from her to gaze back outside. "I did not feel anything."

"Why did you do it?"

"I had no other choice. It was either take the female, or be taken."

"What do you mean by that?"

Vegeta growled low in his throat letting them know that this was getting too personal. He wanted to leave. Vegeta let his hands fall to his side, flexing in tight fists as he rose his ki, ready to blast the windows as to let him escape from what they wanted from him. He had never once told the woman anything about this. She never knew he was raped. He didn't want her to know. He was ashamed as a man to tell her. Wouldn't she think differently? Wouldn't she be disgusted with him?

A hand graced his cheek, making him instantly calm his power as not to hurt his female. He opened his eyes to see her staring up at him with compassion. Her thumb slowly stroked his cheek, "It's ok." She whispered to him.

Vegeta watched the tear fall from her cheek. Why was she crying? Had he hurt her? Did she feel betrayed with what he had done so many years ago? But as he searched her feelings with his telepathic abilities she only felt sorrow for him. She was sad because she couldn't take his past away. This woman surly was one he would never understand. Vegeta took a deep breath through his nose, filling his senses with her heated scent. With her eyes as his only anchor, Vegeta spoke, "It was either, I rape the woman. Or I get raped."

"Have you been raped, Mr. Vegeta?" He gave a hesitant nod. "How many times were you violated?"

"Six times."

"And who did it?"

"Five times by Frieza. Once by Zarbon." Vegeta watched as more tears fell from her. He lifted his finger to catch one from falling off her chin.. She smiled gently at him. Vegeta snapped his eyes up to the group, "No more." He stated before stepping from his mate and going to the open doorway, blasting away without any rebuttal.

"Mrs. Briefs." Bulma took a deep breath, clearing her face from the wetness of her tears before turning to the group and smiling. "You certainly have a way with him."

"Fortunately."

"We want to ask you about, placing Vegeta in a ward. Just for a little while."

Bulma instantly shook her head, "He won't do it. Believe me. There's no way you could keep him locked up."

"That's understandable. But then, we ask about medical treatment. It's still too soon but, think about it. Vegeta's been through too much in his life to handle it anymore by himself. He might try and hurt himself or others. Please tell him, if at any time he wants to talk, all you have to do is call the number at the bottom of this card. Just say your name and the patient's and they will call us. One of us will more then likely come down to the office as quick as possible."

"Thank you so much."

"We would like to ask you a couple questions if you don't mind?"

"No, not at all." Bulma took a seat upon the couch.

"You first asked us to help Vegeta with his flashbacks, correct?" Bulma nodded, "Well, in able to do that, we have to uncover his past. But we would like some background information."

"Of course, go ahead, ask away."

"How long has Vegeta been having flashbacks?"

"Oh, man, for as long as I can remember. All of the seventeen years that I've known him."

"Does he talk in his sleep during these nightmares?"

"He mumbles. I can never understand what he's saying. Sometimes he screams, sometimes he groans as if in pain. It's pretty scary waking up too. I mean, he's the strongest man in the universe and he's being ripped apart by past memories. I don't know what to do. That's why I called you guys."

"Has he ever…lashed out?"

"What…What do you mean?"

"During one of these dreams, has he ever attacked you or the kids?"

Bulma contemplated her response. She knew if she told them about Trunks they would more likely call social services and have their children taken away. Bulma didn't think she could live if they did, nor did she think Vegeta could either, "He..He's been startled when he wakes, but all that he did to me on a few occasions was lay on me. But he snapped out of it really quick. He hasn't caused any bruises or anything."

"Are you scared of him when he's like that?"

"Nope, not at all. I know Vegeta. He would never harm me, no matter what state he's in." Bulma repeated the words her husband had said to her during their fight about Buu. It gave her some ease knowing that, and she could do nothing but trust it. But now, after he attacked Trunks, her worry began to increase.

"What about the kids? Are you scared when he's around them?"

"W. Why are you asking me these things?"

"We just want to know of an outside opinion on his condition. You are around him more then anyone, so no one else will know him better then you. We are planning to ask him the same questions tomorrow. We just want your intake on things."

"Well, I would rather my husband be here for this. If he finds out I'm talking about him he'll get really upset."

"All right, thank you for your time."

Bulma stood, nodding to the group before stepping to the door only to turn around again, "Hey, question. If he did harmed me, or one of our kids, Would you take them away from us?"

"Mrs. Briefs, if Vegeta has harmed one of your kids, we wouldn't tell anybody, we aren't allowed too. But we would tell you, to get your kids out of the house for awhile. Until he's better. It might take awhile, I won't kid you there. Vegeta is very destroyed by his past. He'll need awhile to understand that there's nothing he can do about it now. Which is harder to do then say it. But, it's better to get the kids away, before he loses control and attacks them, or worse…attacks you in front of them."

She nodded, "Thank you."