Dragon Ball/Z/GT Fan Fiction ❯ From The Pages ❯ The Diary Is Read Again ( Chapter 1 )

From The Pages

By: Nova Starlight

Chapter 1: The Diary Is Read Again

Goten sat looking out the window as a violent thunderstorm raged outside. It had now been three months since Trunks had died and there did not seem to be one day that Goten did not inexplicably burst into tears. Just a mention of Trunks' name and he was torn apart like tissue paper. He had not been able to bring himself to attend the funeral, always saying that he would return later to pay his respects. As of now that day had not come, he would plan to go and then chicken out at the last minute. He would lay awake every night, thinking about Trunks and everything that had happened between them. All of their disagreements seemed so silly now that he was gone.

Suddenly, lightning struck outside his window, casting light on Trunks' journal. That had been another prominent thought these last few weeks. Since Vegeta had brought it to him he had not been able to bring himself to read it. There was a part of him that was afraid to read it because he would then see in black and white how much he had hurt Trunks. Now, even as the light had dissipated he could not take his eyes off of it. Finally, as if he were compelled by some unknown force he got up and walked over to his desk where the journal was laying. He picked it up and let his fingers gently run over the printed name on the outside of the journal.

He carried the journal over to his bed and lay down on his stomach to read it. He took one last deep breath and then he entered the world of his beloved's inner most thoughts. While he read the journal his emotions rose and plummeted as if they were on a roller coaster. When he finished he could not stop himself from giving in to sobs at his discoveries. He had never suspected that Trunks had been depressed enough to take his own life, and knowing that he had been a factor in that depression was something that he had a hard time dealing with. As he closed the book and placed it back on his desk he hoped that when he saw Trunks again, he would be forgiven.

The next morning when he awoke, his eyes gravitated immediately to the journal. For the sake of his sanity he knew that he could not keep it any longer and was not sure what he could do with it. He finally decided to return it to Vegeta and let him make the decision on what to do with it.

When he arrived at Capsule Corp. Bulma was the one to answer the door and for some reason he hid the journal behind his back. Then he asked, "Where is Vegeta?"

She looked at him strangely as if he had just asked her how to get to mars, but finally she replied, "He went out about a half hour ago. I would say that you could find him at Trunks' grave."

Goten sighed as he considered going there. He had been avoiding it for so long he was not sure that he could. He thanked Bulma and after she had closed the door he took a long hard look at the journal still clenched in his hands. He made the decision right then and there to face his fears and go to the grave and give the journal back to Vegeta.

At that time Vegeta was standing over Trunks' grave and he still could not believe that three months had passed since his death. His relationship with Bulma and Bra had improved but there was still a nagging sense of doubt in his mind. Part of him could not believe that Bra would still look up to him or that Bulma would still want to make love to him and lay in his arms after the way Trunks had died. He sensed Goten approaching him from behind and he turned to face him. He saw that he was standing there visibly nervous and trying very hard to keep a small smile on his face. "What do you want?" he asked Goten.

"I came to return the journal to you," he replied. "I finally brought myself to read it last night and I was shocked at some of the things he had written." Vegeta took the journal that he was holding out and then he turned away from him. Instead of leaving at that point, Goten came forward and stood next to Vegeta looking down at the tombstone and the grass that had now totally grown over the grave. "It's so hard to believe that he is gone," Goten whispered.

Vegeta snorted, "I am sure it is hard for you to believe considering that this is the first time that you have visited his grave since he died three months ago." He saw him visibly wince at that remark but he said nothing in his defense. Vegeta turned away and started to leave but stopped short to say one more thing over his shoulder. "You know I have no idea why my son would fall in love with you."

Goten's rage finally reached the surface when he heard that statement. "Why is that?" he asked. "Is it because I am a man, or the spawn of Kakkarot? Which one do you have a bigger objection to? You are such a narcissistic piece of shit! I am not the only one who contributed to Trunks' depression."

Vegeta turned around once again to face him. "I am not playing innocent here," he bit out. "But I am not going to let you do it either. You did not deserve him, he loved you loyally and you did not treat him right."

"Me? Not treat him right?" Goten exclaimed. "Who do you think you are talking to? I was the only one who gave a damn for him. It was my shoulder that he cried on and I was the one he told all of his secrets to, I loved him more than anything. He always ran to me for comfort and that is what is really upsetting you, isn't it?" Vegeta was a little surprised that Goten was willing to stand up to him like this. After years of observing him and Trunks, he had always considered Goten to be the shyer and more reserved of the two.

Finally, he replied in a quiet tone, "Some supporter you were, when he did not give you what you wanted when you wanted it, you just cast him aside." Then he walked off.

Goten's face became slack and he felt tears begin to come to his eyes. He looked down at the tombstone and let all of his tears fall. He knelt down and ran his fingers of the smooth stone and whispered, "I love you Trunks." After a few minutes he regained his composure and left the cemetery, using all of his control to not turn around and look back.

Days later Vegeta sat around Capsule Corp. bored out of his mind. He would have normally spent his days training before Trunks' death but now he would just lay about the house and hope that Bulma would come up with something for him to do. He needed some sort of activity or otherwise his thoughts would just linger on Trunks. He turned on the television and flipped through channels with no real interest in watching anything. Within moments he had laid back his head and fallen asleep.

As he was sleeping, his mind was filled with images of Trunks' death replaying over and over again. He woke up with a start, his body covered in a cold sweat and he wished this persistent nightmare would end. He looks around the room and sees the diary that was just returned to him that afternoon lying on the coffee table. He was thrown into an instant rage and he picked it up and went to the boiler room of the laboratory complex. He opens the door of the furnace and reaches back his hand to throw it inside. At that moment, something within him kicked in and he stopped himself from throwing it in. There must have been some reason that he had found and read this journal. He owed it to Trunks to keep it protected. He remembered that Bulma had a safe in their bedroom, hidden behind a painting. He decided to put the journal there and never look at it again, dwelling in what he could no longer change was becoming too much for him.

It was a week later that he found himself at Trunks' grave again. He had to admit that he felt somewhat better after putting the journal away where it could not be easily seen, though it in no way removed all of his guilt. He knelt down and placed the flowers he had bought on Trunks' grave without realizing that he was being watched. A being of the otherworld was watching him from the trees. There would be a major decision regarding Vegeta and quite a few that were interested in the outcome.

To Be Continued. . .