Dragon Ball/Z/GT Fan Fiction ❯ Gradual Love ❯ The Danger of 'Knowing' ( Chapter 3 )

Disclaimer: I do not own DB/Z/GT. Of course, I don't know why I bother to write in disclaimers . . . it doesn't excuse the fact that this story is a breeding ground of copyright violations, etc. And having a disclaimer doesn't necessarily mean that I'm not doing this for profit - I mean, I could add a disclaimer while getting paid and happily live my life until I got audited. Hmm . . .

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Leia stands behind a podium on a large stage, overlooking a crowd of several disgruntled readers. Many are holding picket signs, all of which read variations of "Update quicker, you irresponsible, lazy author!" or, more simply, "More now!"

"Well, excuse me, I was on vacation," Leia snorts, and several readers roll their eyes at the pathetic excuse. "But yes, I do generally take a long time to update - but that isn't my fault!" she glances at a pile of paper on her desks and rustles through it. (She's really not doing anything at all - the pages are blank - but it looks official, doesn't it!)

"I suppose it's time for chapter three, isn't it," she remarks casually. Some of the more enthusiastic readers cheer, the obnoxious ones boo, but most of them barely show any interest. A few don't even look up from clipping their fingernails or whatnot.

Leia laughs. "Who's up for a lemon chapter?" she asks, making sure to add enough elbow-jiggling and eyebrow-waggling to make the point perfectly clear.

Most of the readers break out into enthusiastic applause or lewd gestures. However, in the front row, three or four reviewers begin to gag, vomit, squirm, or otherwise show extreme discomfort. One of the readers -- we'll call her Rae G. - or maybe R. George - yells obscenities at the rowdy nymphomaniacs and threatens to beat them all up. Leia singles out those few (but faithful!) individuals who are allergic to lemon written by inexperienced virgins. She smiles.

"No?" she grins (wishing she had fangs, because that would make it SO much more evil), "Good. That's what I thought."

Within seconds, nearly the entire crowd has emptied out of the stadium, grumbling about stupid prudes who ruin perfectly good stories by not putting in gratuitous, pointless, graphic sex. The younger readers remain, smiling happily, as do the older ones with more common sense. R.G. flings cans of frozen lemonade concentrate in the direction of the departing readers, yelling, "You want lemons? Here! Have lemons!" -- then rolls her eyes and sits back down.

Leia is laughing so hard that she nearly falls off the stage.

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A/N: Please excuse the above scene . . . I'm in a very satirical set of mind. Keep in mind I had just read Rae's review for chapter 2 when I thought of that, and it sort of tainted my mind. Previously, I didn't know anyone was as militant as I about lemon-writing virgins! Hopefully I've managed not to step on anyone's toes with that, but if I did, then forgive me . . .

On with the chapter! It's pretty short, but it's a pretty straight-forward scene. Poor Goku.

Gradual Love

Chapter Three: The Danger of "Knowing"

Outside on the mountain, the light was a pale grey as it gently lit up the scenery. The small river near the forest glinted with flashes of sunlight, sparkling with silvery glimpses as fish swam through. The morning sun also fell upon a small house, sitting on the top of a hill. It was newly constructed, but little, homey details were already in place - flowers on the windowsills, and a good luck symbol painted on the front door.

Inside, Son Goku lay on his back in bed, frowning. It was the infamous morning after the wedding, and Goku was in a bad mood . . . or, at least, in as bad of a mood as the cheerful man could get. He had been assured that the wedding night would be an amazing experience, but in Goku's opinion, it had been anything but.

Oh, it was memorable, all right . . . memorably embarrassing. Goku had realized for the first time that "knowing how" to do something did not necessarily mean that he would be good at it.

He'd hurt her. Goku's face scrunched into an expression of regret and pain as he glanced at his new bride, who was finally sleeping peacefully. If he thought too long about it, he could still hear her surprised cry of pain - she had assured him she was all right, but Goku had seen the tears glistening in her eyes. He himself was a little sore, but nothing like ChiChi had been.

Goku turned away from her, rolling on his side so he faced the rest of the room. He didn't know how he could face her now . . . not after the previous night. What was supposed to be - according to Master Rôshi - the greatest night of their marriage had been both a painful and humiliating experience.

Failure was something completely alien to him - and as such, Goku had no clue how to deal with it. With it, or with this horrible feeling in the pit of his stomach.

ChiChi made a small noise in slumber, and Goku stole a glance at her over his shoulder. He'd been so sure of himself the night before - the flashes of understanding that had come to him had made him too cocky. Goku had gotten too confident with himself . . . and now, he'd hurt her. He wouldn't blame ChiChi if she decided she didn't want this marriage thing after all, promise or no promise.

His stomach lurched, and he realized that he didn't want that to happen. He was afraid to lose what had been just beyond his grasp, as startling as that was. Goku had gotten too used to the intimacy that he and ChiChi shared, and he didn't want it to go away.

Goku rolled over again, and he watched ChiChi sleep. He chewed nervously on his bottom lip, wondering what he should do now - what, if anything, ChiChi wouldn't feel uncomfortable with. His stomach was churning with uncertainty, and finally Goku reached out and touched her hair.

ChiChi's black locks were spread over her back, and Goku brushed the dark strands away. When ChiChi didn't stir, Goku paused again, then slowly, he moved close to her and wrapped his arms around her waist, feeling her warm skin and the soft fabric of her nightgown.

They'd both gotten dressed again afterwards, following a few minutes of embarrassed silence. Neither of them had spoken - indeed, they barely looked at each other - and that was when Goku's thoughts had begun to harry him. Goku, a man never used to introspection or self-examination, had been paralyzed by all the self-doubt that suddenly assailed him.

He buried his face in ChiChi's hair, hoping to lose himself in the sweet smell of it, but stiffened suddenly when ChiChi turned over in his arms and opened her eyes. She blinked a few times, looking bleary, but when her gaze focussed, she smiled a little.

"Good morning," ChiChi yawned casually, but Goku didn't miss the slight wince that spasmed across her face for the briefest of seconds. Or the deliberate slowness with which she moved when she changed positions.

"Morning," Goku mumbled, letting his arms drop and releasing her. He scooted away to his side of the bed, hugging his pillow tightly. He barely trusted himself to touch her anymore.

ChiChi frowned. "Goku-san, what's the matter with you?" she demanded, and Goku's insides froze. Here it comes, he thought. "Why are you hiding?"

His mouth twitched, and Goku felt a sensation inside him like he had just thrown up, and his stomach was painfully empty. "I . . . I don't . . ." he stumbled over the words, feeling like an idiot but knowing nothing else he could say. "I . . ."

"Goku-san?" ChiChi propped herself up on one elbow, her expression quizzical. "Are you all right?"

Goku opened his mouth to speak, but found that no words came. He looked at ChiChi, and his insides tightened up like when she kissed him . . . but he felt like he was going to lose an important fight. He stared wordlessly at her for a few seconds, then suddenly blurted out, "Don't make me go away!"

When no reply reached his ears, Goku peeked over the corner of the pillow and saw ChiChi gaping at him, her mouth hanging open in what appeared to be shock. Slightly encouraged by the lack of anger, Goku swallowed hard and forced himself to speak. "I know you don't want to be married anymore, but I'm just starting to like it, and if you'd just let me learn some more -"

His next words were silenced as ChiChi's pillow hit him in the face. Goku sputtered for a few seconds, then shouted in surprise as ChiChi whapped him again. "Son Goku, where did you ever get a stupid idea like that?" ChiChi yelled, the confusion gone, replaced by the emotion Goku had hoped she wouldn't display. "Why would you think I don't want to be married? Is this some crazy way of telling me that you wish you hadn't? Because if it is, then let me tell you -"

"No!" Goku cried, and ChiChi halted her tirade, still glaring. "I - I thought you wouldn't want -"

"Why?" the fury slipped away, and once again Goku was startled by the rapidity of ChiChi's mood shifts. Now she gazed at him with concern. "Why wouldn't I?"

Goku sat up, seizing her hands in his in a sudden gesture of sincerity. "Because I hurt you!" he burst out, pointing at the blood on the bottom sheet. "You pretended you weren't, but I could tell! Why don't you find somebody who knows how to do stuff right, and who doesn't make you cry?"

One corner of ChiChi's mouth lifted, and she squeezed his fingers. "Oh, Goku-san, it always hurts the first few times, no matter who it is. It's not your fault."

"Really? You're not just being nice?"

"No. If it was your fault, you'd know it," ChiChi winked at him, probably trying to lighten the mood, but Goku was still too nervous. He wasn't used to such uncharted territory - everything about marriage was new to him, and there was no manual to read. There wasn't even anyone he could watch and copy! "Relax. It's all right."

"Okay," Goku sighed in relief, and he grinned widely, scooping ChiChi into his arms for a giant bear hug, pressing his face against her shoulder. "I'm so glad! I didn't hurt you on purpose."

ChiChi laughed and hugged him back, her fingers grazing his spine in a way that sent warmth shooting through Goku's body like a wave. "I know. Do you feel better now?"

Goku nodded wordlessly, holding her tightly. He'd never thought of how much ChiChi meant to him, how much it terrified him to think that he might have pushed her away. Was this feeling, this fright - was it love?

"So how about breakfast?" ChiChi pulled away, quirking an eyebrow at him. "Are you hungry?"

At the mention of food, Goku's stomach rumbled loudly, and they both laughed. But before he could answer, Goku looked at ChiChi again - really looked at her, like he had at the wedding. He saw how her eyes lit up when she smiled, and how nice her hair was when it just tumbled around her shoulders naturally. How seeing the nightgown straps sliding off her muscled shoulders made his breath catch.

Goku shook his head, noting the surprise that sprang across ChiChi's expression. He grinned at her, swept an errant lock of hair out of her eyes, and kissed her firmly. When he drew back, ChiChi was staring at him with a mixture of confusion and pleasure.

"It's too early," Goku told her, lying down and tugging on her arm. "Let's wait."

******

A/N: Well, I hope you enjoyed that. Like I said, short -- but chapter 4 will not be long in coming, I promise you that. Let me know what you think!