Dragon Ball/Z/GT Fan Fiction ❯ Green Horizons ❯ Chapter 6 ( Chapter 6 )

Green Horizons

By: Letta

Disclaimer: The militia I gathered to storm FUNimation failed, so I still own nothing.

Rating: R or NC-17 Wherever I decide to go with this.

Warnings: Well, I guess references to yaoi relationships, abuse… sort of… OOC, probably AU, later on there'll probably be some graphic sexual situations, and by probably, I mean there will be… maybe a little dark humor, some violence… and anything else that could possibly be offensive or ishy that might come up. Oh, and now that this has come up, angst… specifically for Goku. He'll probably suffer. Nice when your warnings list is quadruple the length any of the other junk at the beginning.

Pairings: Piccolo x Bulma!!! Vegeta x Tien

Notes: Oh look, no notes!

*denotes thought* "denotes speaking" //denotes flashbacks// #denotes whatever the hell I want it to denote# (denotes unnecessary author comment)

Gohan stopped at a cave entrance, looked around, and ducked inside, Yamcha still in tow. The young half saiyan felt along the side of the cave as the light from the moon outside failed to stretch any further, as if it didn't dare to disturb whatever evil may lurk inside the cave. To Yamcha, it seemed that the cold stone reached on forever, but if it kept him away from his psycho girlfriend, whom he was starting to think he might have some problems with…

At last, a tiny flicker of light could be seen ahead, and soon grew to be a warm glow. When they reached it, it opened up to reveal a spacious "room" in which Trunks and Goten were seated on cushions, while they battled each other via video game console. Yamcha wondered where they would plug in a tv, but figured that all would be revealed… what a sucker.

"Brothers, I have returned, and brought back with me a guest."

"That's uh, real nice Gohan…" Trunks said, doing a poor job of concealing that it was not "real nice," but rather, Gohan was acting really weird. Truth be told, the only reason why Goten and Trunks were even there was because Gohan promised they could order out every night, since they were all at the mercy of those who couldn't cook, like Goku, Bulma, Vegeta…

Yes, the prince of saiyans had tried to fix a meal… Unfortunately, he had little to no concept of how the oven worked, and even less of teaspoons and cups. Whereas someone else might start off with pancakes or cookies, Vegeta had gone straight for the chicken Kiev with soufflé. He had set the kitchen on fire, but thankfully, Trunks had gotten a fire extinguisher in time. Not to mention that the prince guessed as to what half the ingredients were, and was right less than forty percent of the time. So, he ended up with a burned, crisp chicken surprise caked with CO2 with what had started out as a soufflé, but mutated into something far more hideous. Then, he made them eat it… all of it.

Goku hadn't even been around to cook, he kept making up lame excuses to leave and then they would usually get an annoyed phone call from Vegeta about ten minutes later.

Bulma was busy with Capsule Corp., so cooking was not at the top of the agenda, and as for her mother and father… they disappeared without a trace, but then three weeks later, called up and announced that they had moved to Cancun so they could spend all day on the beach with margaritas. Sly devils.

Back to the point, Yamcha found himself deep inside a cave with two video game junkies and a partially insane half saiyan that was kind of acting like he was in a cult. He began to wonder what happened to the good old days when they were fighting to save the world and no one had completely lost it yet.

"I shall return with more lighting," Gohan announced, and left the room.

"Hey, uh guys? What's up with him?" Yamcha asked when Gohan was out of earshot. Both boys paused the game, set down their controllers and turned around to look at Yamcha solemnly.

"When my mom was dragged off the loony bin, Gohan was already going soft in the brain. Personally, I thought it was drugs at first, but when I didn't find any after a thorough search of his room, I concluded that it wasn't. Very thorough. At first, the only exterior sign was that he was talking a lot, so everyone just thought he was taking it hard."

"Then, Goku started coming over to my house all the time," Trunks picked up after Gohan. "So the only ones to notice it was more than taking it hard were me and Goten. Gohan drug us out here, gave us a tv and food, and so we went along with it."

"Why did Goku go over to your house?"

"He's uh…"

"My dad is… gay."

"And mine is too," Trunks said. "Except, he doesn't like Goten's dad… he's been after Tien for years. What's worse is they thought no one knew."

"…" Yamcha could only gape.

*****

Goku woke up, strapped to a table. A light shone dimly above him, creating a small circle of yellow to surround him, and shrouding the rest of the room in darkness. He could distinctly smell mold. The air was damp… and cold. He shivered involuntarily. The saiyan tried to jerk free of his bonds, but when they didn't tear away easily, he frowned in confusion. He hadn't even been able to move, in fact, if anything, the ropes had succeeding in only cutting more deeply into his wrists.

"I see you're awake, Goku, darling." The saiyan's blood ran cold as the falsely sweet voice echoed in his ears. He more than detected the undercurrent of malice.

"Chichi?" he asked, weakly, hoping his own senses were deceiving him and that he was wrong.

"Yes. You didn't think you could get away with it, did you?"

"Well…"

"Slipping your beloved wife tension agitating pills (I don't know what they're called, people), then slowly driving her to the breaking point? Not to mention that you had pre-booked a room for me at Ridgeview. How long were you planning this?"

"Meemumfs," he mumbled.

"What was that?"

"Three months. Three months of actual planning," he repeated, testing his bonds again. He suddenly found this distracting.

"But you've been dreaming about it ever since Vegeta decided to give up trying to kill you."

"Yes… believe me Chichi, I never meant to hurt you."

"How about the time when I woke up in the middle of the night to find you standing over me with a knife in your hand? You had that crazed gleam in your eyes. With a husband like you, I should be at Ridgeview! Whatever happened to a good old divorce?!"

"Divorce?" Goku asked, breaking his attention away from being strapped down for a moment to look at her.

"Yes!"

"I never thought about that…"

*****

Burt walked along a sidewalk, swinging his hammer blissfully. He was on the hunt, and that joyed him. Only one thing could dampen his mood: if he was egged again. That would more than likely displease him. After all, it had angered him once… today. Once he had made his kill, he would never speak of the incident again, like all the others before.

His prey had been many places that evening… loitering on a dark corner… running around a city park terrorizing people… vandalizing statues and monuments… toilet papering people's houses… and so many, many others.

They had kept busy. Statements he had gathered all seemed to end with the two laughing loudly before flying off.

He was beginning to reek quite unbearably. The egging was one step away from its final stage: caking. His own stench was nearly overpowering him. Yet, through it all, he persevered. The Kai of Mallets did not give up so easily, no, especially after giving them a head start. To do so would be ludicrous. It would be like saying he was wrong to do so. That he overestimated himself and his abilities. Burt would not allow such things to happen. After all, he had his pride.

*****

Bulma stood inside her doorway, a small laugh still falling from her lips. She looked up at her emerald escort, her crystal blue eyes sparkling.

"Thanks for flying me around tonight."

"Yeah… I had fun. I never realized that being a public nuisance was so entertaining," the namek replied, an almost imperceptible smile shaping his lips. He still couldn't figure out how those sapphire jewels could lock his gaze, but he didn't really mind.

"Well, you've got to live a little before you die… do you want to come in?" she asked, hope lacing her voice. When a slight nod was her reply, she beamed brilliantly, and stepped aside to allow the namek to enter, barely noticing the rising sun over the horizon. She hadn't realized they had actually stayed out all night, but then, she didn't care either.

She smiled to herself and shut the door behind her. She had more things to educate the tall warrior on. (Suggestive wink. Though, there's the chance that doesn't really mean anything, and I just put that in for effect.)

*****

Diane was fuming. She couldn't believe Yamcha had just run out like that! He was going to get it, she would make sure of it.
If she had to break his legs to teach him his lesson, then so be it! Her last three boyfriends had tried the same thing, but they learned.

Of course, they were all dead due to unfortunate accidents now, but that couldn't be helped. She had bounced back quickly though, and she knew that if Yamcha had an unfortunate accident, she would bounce back well again. There really was no point mulling over it. It was no use crying over spilled milk. She believed that. Her mother told her that after her father died from an unfortunate accident… and her stepfather… and the one after that.

In fact, her mother was the one who kindled her love for boxing. Her mother began teaching her when Diane had been three, having boxed herself.

Diane missed her mother, but after the unfortunate accident that claimed her life, Diane moved on. Imagine, a pipe bomb under her own mother's pillow. It was a tragic accident, and unfortunate. If only her mother hadn't started that bomb-making hobby shortly before her father died… Life was full of "if only's."

Diane couldn't sense ki, but she could sure see the path Yamcha had left, and she was a little faster than him. People that were standing in surprise and shock were the big tip-off. Eventually, the footprints, snapped twigs, and the like were all she had to rely on. Another thing her dearly departed mother had taught her was how to track.

She remembered the first time her mother sent her off to track her father… It was rather easy. He must've cut himself or something, because she just followed the trail of blood. Her father always had been a klutzy man… falling down stairs, running over his legs with the car (that one had baffled his surgeons), falling on kitchen knives… He had a lot of accidents in his life.

Diane now preceded slowly, the feeling that she was close lingering about her.

*****

Yamcha stared at Gohan, the half-saiyan now clad in a full-length brown robe, his face painted in odd, tribal patterns. He couldn't begin to imagine when life started sucking, but he knew that everything sort of veered off into the other lane of traffic… and accelerated.

What's more, Trunks and Goten were to the point that they were unfazed by all of this. In fact, it seemed to him that they almost desperately sought the refuge of their video games in order to avoid dealing with the people around them, knowing they would find no semblance of the normalcy that once was.

"I will go to get us food now, brothers," he announced, setting a lantern on a section of the wall that jutted out to form a ledge. Then, he left.

*****

Chichi gaped at her idiot husband.

"You never thought about a divorce? You just decided to either kill me or lock me up. I would have gone with the divorce! I would love a divorce!"

"So then… it's settled?"

"No! I have to smack you upside the head, first! Maybe it will correct that problem with your brain! I can't believe I married someone so stupid!"

"Hey, that's not very nice."

"Nice? You know what isn't nice? Slipping your wife pills so she ends up in a psych ward so you can go chasing after another man. That's not nice."

"When you put it like that, sure."

"How else could I put it?" Chichi cried, grabbing a frying pan and hitting him in the head, knocking him out. She couldn't wait to sign those divorce papers.

A/N: Well… that was interesting…

Will Yamcha meet with an unfortunate accident?

Who is Chichi's mysterious benefactor?

Should they have locked up Gohan instead of his mom? Will they?

Where is Videl to let her husband go running around like a little pagan?

What else does Bulma have to educate Piccolo on?

Will Burt ever catch up?

Is Goku just going to suffer continuously through this story?

Find out next time… unless I happen to die of an unfortunate accident and therefore cannot resolve a damn thing… do I even need an unfortunate accident for that????