Dragon Ball/Z/GT Fan Fiction ❯ I just wanted some dinner... ❯ and I just wanted to get to the kitchen... ( Chapter 1 )

Disclaimer: I have no need for a disclaimer. I am in fact Akira Toriyama. I own Dragonball Z, Kajika, Dr. Slump, Sandland and at least 25% of Japan. I try to keep a low profile when I write my dirty stuff, so here I am pretending to be a 21 year old chick. It's hard on me, you know? Some people would be really offended if they found out I like to write stories just about my characters having sex. So I'm just here, keepin it on the down low, keeping you Bulma and Vegeta fans happy. So enjoy.

Or I'm just a habitual liar…

Chapter 1 - and I just wanted to get to the kitchen…

This was not how today was supposed to be. Of course, in the best case scenario he would have achieved Super Saiyajin status, found Kakkarot, killed Kakkarot, etc, etc, but it hadn't gone even remotely near that well for Vegeta. In fact it started out pretty damn horribly, with the gravity room deciding to break about five minutes into his morning training.

"DAMMIT! This isn't working at all. Worthless planet. I need the gravity room if I'm going to make any progress at this point…" Vegeta was not happy. Upon hearing that it would take Bulma three or four days to fix the gravity room on her own, he had decided to take off and find somewhere else suitable to train. However, it didn't take long for him to lose his patience, and his temper, and he decided that he'd be better off back at Capsule Corp. having dinner than standing on some stupid cliff firing ki blasts at any more stupid rocks.

It was around 6pm when he arrived back at Capsule. He was so starving it didn't matter that the only one around was Bulma and that her cooking was the one thing that rivaled Goku in its ability to cause physical harm against him. He flung open the front door and slammed it angrily behind him, "Goddamn inferior gravity machine. If I didn't know better I'd say they built it to break down every week," he grumbled as he stomped across the foyer. He was about to open the door to the living room when a familiar noise caused him to stop dead in his tracks.

*Okay, I must be hearing things. The woman wouldn't-* he was startled mid-thought by what was unmistakably a low moan coming from the next room. He did a quick check of ki signatures and found that it was indeed the woman, and she was alone. He groaned as he felt a familiar warmth rise in his cheeks as well as in other places. *In the fucking living room?? Kami, how am I supposed to get to the kitchen now?* He was well aware that she liked to play with herself, but he had assumed that she would at least keep it in her bedroom, and up until now she had. He'd even poked around through her stuff one night while she was out and found her stash- she obviously had very interesting taste when it came to videos. And every time he heard her at work late at night, the thought of her other "toys" made him very hard, very fast.

"In the living room…" he whimpered as he slunk back towards the center of the room and pondered his next move. *I could leave without dinner, but I don't think I could make it through the night without food and the stupid woman would never leave me alone if I killed and ate something off the Capsule grounds.* Another moan from the living room became audible and Vegeta began to pace back and forth more hastily. *I could go back outside and come in through a kitchen window, but then she'd know I heard her and didn't have the balls to do anything about it… Or…*

"I could go in there…" he mumbled as he rolled that thought around his head for a bit. If he went in and made some snide comment, she was sure to scream her head off and order him out, and all he had to do was exit to the kitchen. And he'd get an eyeful too. Of course, he'd have to keep his cool. He couldn't let on how attractive he thought she was, an everyday practice that he'd worked hard to perfect which would be made much more difficult with her naked. "Arrgh, not to mention whatever she's actually… doing to herself…" he tried to push that thought out of his head, but a simultaneous growling in his stomach and throbbing in his groin made it clear that this situation had to be dealt with immediately.

"Well," he growled under his breath, "I'm just going to have to hope I can wing it and get through this without total embarrassment." With that he took a deep breath, turned the doorknob and opened the door…

~Just a short teaser for now, folks. This is my first fanfic that I'm actually putting up online (and my first dirty one) so please give me feedback! Don't worry, the dirty stuff will start pretty much right away in chapter two, seeing as that as soon as Vegeta goes through that door he's going to get an eyeful. I'll try not to take too long before chapter two is up. Ja ne!