Dragon Ball/Z/GT Fan Fiction ❯ If I Were Saiyan ❯ One-Shot

Disclaimer: I do not won DBZ. If I did, it wouldn't matter how much you edited that bitch, there would be no way the Cartoon Network could show it. (I am not associated with the Cartoon Network.) I am not Saiyan. If I were I'd be occupied with Vegeta right now instead of writing this.

If I Were Saiyan by Alexa

Here are just a few of the choice things I would do if I were Saiyan.

1) Fly around for about an hour or so for the hell of it. I'd like to fly.

2) Find a few choice teachers, whom I have been forced to listen drone for hours, for blasting into the "next dimension".

3) Practice shooting Ki balls at anything I feel like. Need to learn to control those bitches.

4) Pick a fight with everyone who thought it would be a good idea to irritate me and beat their asses to a bloody pulp. I told them I'd hurt them. Cock-knockers.

5) Get an entire new wardrobe of Spandex, leather, vinyl, and anything else that will show off my new muscular figure.

6) Drive some very specific family members insane with my new abilities and look. Why? Repaying the favor.

7) Perfect that "intimidating" look that a certain Saiyan prince always has.

8) Another group of people whom I would torture with Ki beams, individuals who should not be permitted to breed.

9) Bitch-slap people with my new tail!! Picking anyone at random, they'd be too shocked that I have a tail to complain. he he

10) And anyone left that I deem not worthy… would become my personal servants and punching bags.

Vegeta sat on the couch reading the list on his laptop. The small computer had been given to him by Bulma. She had thought that he might enjoy learning about some of Earth's customs and cultures. Most of the time, he was looking at hentai sites. By accident Vegeta had stumbled upon fanfiction.net. The title "If I Were Saiyan" caught his attention. This woman is almost as scary as my mate. I wonder what her problem is? Vegeta's attention was solely on the screen, he hadn't heard Bulma enter the living room.

"Hey, Vegeta. Whatcha doin'?"

"Huh? What?" he stuttered quickly shutting the laptop.

"Learn anything interesting about humans lately?"

He didn't answer. Bulma just rolled her eyes at her husband. She knew that he would never admit it if he thought humans were interesting.

"Bulma…"

"Hmm?"

"Have you ever heard of fanfiction.net?" Vegeta asked, a little unsure if he should.

"What?" Bulma's reply was one of surprise.

"Nothing! Nevermind." Vegeta left the living room to go raid the fridge.

Bulma shook her head and walked back to her lab. Once she made sure no one was around she logged onto the internet. I wonder why Vegeta asked my about fanfiction.net? He can't have been reading that? Would he? Her thoughts were distracted as she logged into the site. "Ooh, I have new reviews on one of my fics.

I don't doubt that some of you probably won't find parts of this amusing. I don't care. Because I have issues and a very sick and twisted sense of humor. There were worse things I thought about putting in here, but decided against it. I'm not sure I'd enjoy padded walls. Well, tell me if you liked it and tell me if you didn't. If you tell me I'm a freak, my reply: Why Thank You!!