Dragon Ball/Z/GT Fan Fiction ❯ In The End ❯ Chapter 1

In the End


Roshi felt his life-force slipping away. He looked around at the room full of friends and gave a long, drawn out sigh. Not much time left.

“I’ve had a long life. No need to cry for me,” he said with a weak smile. “I’ve seen and done more than I ever dreamed. Now it’s time for me to move on and let you young ones carry on.”

“Oh, Master Roshi . . .” Krillin began, but tears forced him to stop. He knelt down next to the bed and placed his forehead on the mattress. Roshi patted the shaggy mop of hair with one thin, bony hand.

“I wish Goku were here,” Bulma whispered, lifting her tear-streaked face from Yamcha’s shoulder. “He’d want to say goodbye.”

“I’ll bet you he’ll find a way to meet Roshi on the other side. Goku would do anything for his old master,” Chi Chi said. Although her manner was gruff, everyone knew she grieved just as much as they for the old man who helped raise her husband.

“My only regret,” Roshi croaked, “is that I must leave this world without the love of a good woman by my side. Would it be too much to ask that you two ladies at least give a dying man a farewell kiss?”

Bulma immediately started to bristle, but Yamcha cut her off before she could give the perverted old man a piece of her mind.

“That sounds like a perfectly reasonable request, Bulma. Think of it. He’s been harmlessly chasing girls his whole life. After all he’s done for all of us, you two can’t possibly deny this small last request. Come on. It’s just one little kiss.”

Bulma and Chi Chi exchanged uncertain glances with each other, then down at the pathetic-looking old man on the bed.

“Oh, all right!” Chi Chi said. “I guess one kiss wouldn’t kill us.”

They cautiously advanced toward their dying friend on both sides. With a nod as a signal, they leaned down and placed a quick kiss on either cheek. He reached up with lightning speed and grabbed their shoulders to keep them close as he whispered into their ears. His hands snaked down to give their breasts a tweak before dropping back to the mattress.

Bulma and Chi Chi drew back their hands to let him know what they thought of his perverted trickery, but stopped when they realized Roshi was already dead. Lying still and white with a faint smile tugging at his lips.

“He’s gone!” Krillen cried, tears streaming down his face.

Yamcha checked for a pulse even though he could tell there was no life force coming from the withered body. Gently, he covered him with the clean, white sheet. “Goodbye, Master Roshi. I hope King Yemma judges you fairly in Other World.”

“So do I!” Bulma fumed. “If he does, that letch will end up in HFIL!”

“What did he say to you?” Krillen asked, a bit jealous his beloved master’s final words were not shared with him, a devoted pupil.

“I don’t want to talk about it!” Chi Chi huffed and stormed out of the bedroom.

“Come on, Bulma, what did he say?” Yamcha asked.

“That old pervert!” Bulma yelled, pointing at the lump on the bed. “Not only did he trick us into giving him a pity kiss just so he could feel us up, he also had the audacity to make a perfectly revolting suggestion!”

“You know Roshi,” Yamcha said, trying to calm her down. “What could he possibly have said to shock you this much?”

Bulma’s face burned with a mixture of rage and embarrassment. “He told us . . . he told us . . .” She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. “He told us we could use his dead-stiffened pecker to pleasure ourselves as long as we wanted now that he doesn’t have to keep his vow of chastity!”

She stomped out after Chi Chi, leaving the bewildered Krillen and Yamcha behind. The two men looked at each other, then down at the covered body. Without a word, they both crept over to the bed and peeked under the sheet.

-----

“Well, it’s about time, Roshi!” Baba called, floating down on her crystal ball. “I thought you’d never kick the bucket.”

“Hey, sis!” Roshi called happily. “Yeah, I finally made it. I can’t wait to get to heaven. But what’s the deal with the tail? When Goku and the others were here they got to keep their full bodies.”

“That’s because they had to train before they were sent back to earth,” she explained. “What do you need a body for? You’re just lucky you get to keep as much as you’ve got.”

Baba flew off, leaving Roshi to stand before King Yemma alone. Yemma was happy to finally meet the man who defied death for so long. With a stamp in his book and a wave of his hand, Roshi was dismissed to enter heaven.

“All right!” Roshi cheered as he floated his ghost-like body over the lush, green grass. “Bring on the beaches! Bring on the girls! Take off those bikinis!”

“You won’t find any beaches here.”

Roshi turned to find a large, red demon floating behind him. He would have made an imposing figure if it weren’t for the garland of flowers draped around his head and shoulders.

“Hello, friend. My name is Dabura. Welcome to the most wonderful place in the universe!”

“But, I thought this was where your fondest fantasies came true,” Roshi whined. “I thought there’d be dozens of scantily clad girls here to cater to my every whim. Buxom beauties in bikinis to play putt-putt with all day long. What kind of heaven is this?”

“This is a place of peace, tranquility and love of all things beautiful,” Dabura sang, floating around Roshi. “Only good girls get to come to heaven. Not the kind you’re talking about.”

The scream could be heard reverberating throughout Other World for years.