Dragon Ball/Z/GT Fan Fiction ❯ Krillin: Attorney At Law! ❯ Case 1: The Sonic vs. Knuckles: The Brother Custody Battle ( Chapter 1 )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

(Master Emerald Shrine,
Angel Island)

Knuckles: [Polishing the Master Emerald] I don't know, Sonic. I guess I think of Tails as my own family.

Sonic: [sitting on the steps] of Course, Knux. You're like a second older brother to him.

Knuckles: [Stops, and stares at his reflection] But what if that's not good enough... being a second older brother.

Sonic: [Walks to Knuckles] I don't know what you're t...

Knuckles: [Turns to Sonic angrily] I WANT TAILS, SONIC!! FULL TIME!!! I HELPED HIM OUT WITH HIS STUFF WHILE YOU GO RUNNING AROUND DESTROYING ROBOTS AND CRAP AND I THINK IT'S ONLY FAIR!!!

Sonic: [Hand on Knuckles' shoulder] Whoa, whoa, whoa! Cool out, Knux! Maybe guarding the Master Emerald gave you a lot of stress! Take a couple days relaxing at Emerald Coast the...

Knuckles: [twists Sonic's arm and pounches him into the Master Emerald, which shatters.] I'm taking Tails, Sonic! And there's not a damn thing you can do about it! [Glides off the island, then back.] I forgot my keys for the new SUV. [Grabs the keys as the island lands in the ocean]

Sonic: Okay. [Knuckles leaves again]
=====================================
/\THEME SONG\/

Duh-du

Kril-

Duh-du

Krillin!

Who... is that pint-size guy?

Who...is that handsome small-fry??

Do you really want to feel him?
Power of the attorney,
Hapious Corpous,
KRILLIN THE ATTORNEY?!!

KA-ME-HA-ME-LAW!!!!!
[BBBBBBLLLLLLLLLAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSTTTTTT!!!!]

Kri-lli-n
Krilin: Attorney at Law.... Uh huh... baby!

/\ENDS\/
=======================================

(Krillin's Office,
Orange Star City)

Krillin: Krillin: Attorney at law. Dictating: July 9th, year 2003 1:20 p.m.. Dictating... um... dic... dic... dick, dike, duck... um... (Clears throat) Dictating : Orange Star City, Office #5, 319 Golden Road---

#18: [On intercom] A Sonic the Hedgehog is here to see you, Krillin.

Krillin: [Pushes intercom to respond] Good. Send him in. [Sonic enters, wearing a blue Sonic Team T-shirt and tie.] Mr. Hedgehog, a pleasure! [Shakes hands with Sonic and he sits]

Sonic: Yo. Call me sonic. How 'bout you?

Krillin: You can just call me Krillin.

Sonic: Okay. Anyways, thanks for helping me out...... I got a pretty huge prob on my hands. Y'see, my buddy's just challenged me for the custody of my little bro.

Krillin. Hmmm... I see. So what does Mrs.--

Sonic: He.

Krillin: A man?

Sonic: The dude's name is Knuckles the echidna. We team up on adventures to stop villains around the world and some other (bleep).

Krillin: Okay. So, what makes Mr. Echidna think he has any claim on your brother?

Sonic: Well, a couple of years go, we met Knuckles on Angel Island, and got off to bad start. We have been rivals with him until he found out that Dr. Eggman tricked him. Me and my little buddy have been pals with the man ever since, and as time went on, Knux became more of a second older brother to him.

[Flashback, one year ago.]

Sonic: [Overvoice] I say I was a alright bro.

Flashback Tails: [Surfing on a jet-propelled surfboard) Hey Sonic! Watch me test out my jet surfboard!

Flashback Sonic: [Sitting on a beach chair with lemonade, beach parasol, and sunglasses.] No way. Have fun.

Sonic: [Overvoice] But I think I would've spent more time with my bro as much as I spend time fighting Eggman and his goons. [The surfboard crashes into a seawall and explodes.]

Flashback Tails: AAAAAAAARRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!

[End Flashback]

Krillin: Hhhhhmmmmm... The cat's in the cradle and the silver ball. [Stands up, poses dramatically, then powers up with a energy glare] HHHHYYYYYYYYYYYAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sonic: [Shields eyes.] Aarrrrrrrrgggggg!!

Kriliin: [Holds up his index finger with a Ki ball on it] I'll take the case! [Ki ball explodes into firework-type sparks]

Chorus from theme song: Krillin: Attorney at Law!!

Krillin: [Sits back down] But first, I need to know the boy's name so I can speak to him.

Sonic: Alright. He's a red, or is it yellow... NO! A orange racco-fox. His name's...... uh... Kyle "Mail" Tower, or something like that... um, Tiles, Mails, oh damn it... come on Sonic!

[Scene Transition {Gravel pounding} to:
Krillin's office, 30 minutes later. Tails is sitting on the chair while Krillin is drinking beer]

Tails: You know what's awesome? That one minute, I was sitting in my lab very lonely and miserable while I was completing the Tornado prototype and being made fun of my other foxes because I had two Tails, the next, I was running, catching up to the world's fastest hedgehog, eating chili dogs, having cartoons and comics after us, my favorite one is Sonic X by the way, and stopping a mad scientist from taking over earth. I owe Sonic big time. [Catches breathe slowly] Wow! I gotta stop talking so much. [Watches the ball thing] Say, what's this?

Krillin: That's an executive ball clicker. So what's your relationship with Sonic.

Tails: Well, we known each other for 3 years now, but lately he has been taking all the glory, and sometimes, I think he's barely notices me. [The intercom beeps, Krillin answers]

Krillin: Yes?

#18: [On intercom] That was BlockWood Videos. You're forgot to bring back 3 videos last night.

Krillin: Thank you. So, Miles...

Tails: Please call me Tails. I hate Miles.

Krillin: O...kay. Tails, your "big brother" and his friend Knuckles were... "buddies"... but now they're not, understand?

Tails: Sure, me and Sonic know Knux for almost 2 years, but we rarely meet. Besides, Knux owes Sonic big time.

Krillin: It's not that simple. So, this might be difficult for you... I stopped off at a liquor store, got a couple of magazines, so I need to ask you this: Does Knux have any "new" buddies?

Tails: [Glup] Uhh... I... did...

Krillin: Come on. Don't be scared.

Tails: I did see him talking to Dr. Eggman the other day. Dr. Eggman and Sonic have been pretty aggressive enemies in the past, and any enemy of Dr. Eggman is an enemy of mine because...

Krillin: [Growling] Don't... go into another monolo...

Tails: I owe Sonic very much...

Krillin: [Cheerful] Drink your juice box!

Tails: O...kay? [Drinks]

[Transition: {Gravel Pounding} to:
Orange Star Justice Hall, Courtroom, the next day. Sonic and Krillin sit on one side of the courtroom waiting for Knuckles and his attorney. Knuckles enters the courtroom, with...... Dr. Gero (Android #20) as the attorney. Gero is wearing a black lawyer suit and a black hat. (To hide his brain, or course)]

Krillin: [Sweatdrop] Oh no... not him...

Gero: Ahh, Krillin! We meet again!

Krillin: 20, it was last week.

Gero: I was HFIL sweeping up the skeleton demons' wastes last week you idiot.

Krillin: Time to get my PDA, Personal Digital Assistant! [Takes it out] Uh, how do you make a R again? Do you push that then go down then a circle with it, or...

Gero: ENOUGH!!![Powers up, blowing up Krillin's PDA]

Krillin: Arrrgh!! That cost me $500!!

Gero: I told you, Goku, and the others that I will return to destroy you, and that happens today!! Prepare to die!!!

Krillin: [Powers up] Feel my destructo disk... attorney style!! [Forms a destructo disk, which Gero dodges. A techno remix of Chala Head Chala (The Japanese DBZ theme) plays as Gero flies toward Krillin and punches him. Krillin kicks him and his hat falls off]

Krillin: Kamehame-HHAAAAAA!! [Fires he Kamehameha, which Gero suckes up with his right palm (Androids 19 and 20 can absorb energy). They both then get into a all out battle of Ki blasts, which kills about 23% of the spectators. Judge Giran pounds his gravel, and the 2 stop. The music ends with a needle scratching sound.]

Judge Giran: Order, order in the courtroom! I have enough of you two! Mr. Krillon, kriller, uh... whatever... SIT DOWN AND SHUT UP!! Now Mr. 24, 29, twen... [hacks out Oolong]

Oolong: I'm free! FREE!!! [Runs out of the courtroom]

Judge Giran: Opening arguments.

Gero: [Picks up his hat, dusts it off, then puts it back on] If one person is being the genetic or adopted brother of a child, does that make him fit to take care of that child as a brother? Currently, we have this battle of the custody of Miles Prower. Only one of them is fit to raise this adorable little fox.

Judge Giran: State your first name, last name, and occupation.

Buzzbomber (The robot from the first Sonic game): Buzzbomber, buzzbomber, and uhh... buzzbomber.

Gero: Please, tell the court what you witnessed.

Buzzbomber: Sure. From what I saw in, "Sonic 2, The Knuckles edition"-Sonic 2, the Knuckles edition, right?

Catakiller, Burobot, Ball Hog, and CrabMeat (Also robots from the First Sonic game): [Nods]

Buzzbomber: From what I saw, it was Mr. Knuckles who was with Tails the most.

Gero: Thank you.

Catakiller: (Chuck E. Cheese voice) Good going, Jon.

Burobot: (English accent) Awesome, Jon.

Crabmeat: (High voice) Great Job, Jon.

Ball Hog: (Deep, Oolong-type voice) Nice job. Oink oink.

Gero: Could you please tell the court what you think is the better older brother is by events before today?

Nack the Weasel: (Australian accent) Sure, mate. That blooming Sonic was there...... physically.

Omochao: Well, it's clear to me that Knuckles is the primary caretaker, and should be Tails' ideal brother. [Explodes]

Knuckles: [Evil chuckles] Everything is going according to plan.

Gero: Best brother?

Scratch: Knuckles.

Gero: Best nurturing.

Snively: Knuckles.

Gero: Most Responsible!

Eggrobo: Knuckles.

G.U.N. soldier: Knuckles.

Rouge: Well, I hate Knuckles because he always gets in my way when it comes to tre---

Gero: TELL US WHO IS TO BETTER BROTHER!!!

Rouge: Okay! Hold on, old man! Sonic. [Gero fires a energy blast that kills her] AAAAARRRRRRGGGGGHHHH!!!

Chaos: Knuckles.

Void: Knuckles.

Biolizard: (English Accent) Knuckles.

Cream: I don't know who is the better big brother. I never had a big brother or sister, I only had my mommy and daddy and Chee...

Gero: Maybe this will change your mind. [Gives her a lollipop]

Cream: Candy! Mr. Knuckles was with Tails when Mr. Sonic went off to get mommy. [Licks lollipop]

Coconuts (Sonic 2): Knuckles.

Coconuts (AOSTH): Knuckles.

Shadow: I say Knuckles because Sonic's a faker.

Dark Chao: OOOGAAABOOGAAA!!! (Translation: Knuckles, ya dumbass!!)

[Transition: {KAMEHAMELAW!!} to:
Hercule's Tavern and Pub, Krillin, Sonic, and Tails sit at the bar, with glass cups filled with ice in front of each of them.]

Sonic: [sigh and puts feet on table] Well, things are looking smooth so far. Let's celebrate!

Mac: Budweiser, Budweiser, Budweiser. [Pours Budweiser in the three cups.]

Krillin: Mac. He's nine. (He's talking about Tails.)

Mac: Rrriiiiiggggghhhhht... [Puts cherries in Krillin and Sonic's cups.]

[Transition: {Krillin makes energy book, pages flip. } to:
Orange Star Justice Hall, Courtroom, the next day.]

Judge Giran: You're up, Mr. Chestnut.

Krillin: I'd like to call to the stand: SONIC THE HEDGEHOG! [The badniks and other robots in the background chant: "You're gonna lose, Sonic!!" or "HA HA HA HA"!] Mr. Hedgehog, tell us about your relati-

Sonic: Well, it all started a couple of years ago off the coast of Angel Island. I met Knuckles and...

Krillin: [Angrily, with teeth gritted] WITH TAILS!

Sonic: Oh yeah, Tails! I love him like an actual member of my family. He has a special place in my heart, like Amy...

Amy: [Blushes with hearts in her eyes in the background]

Sonic: I mean... my mother.

Amy: Awww. SONIC YOU JERK! [Runs out crying.]

Sonic: Yeah, he has a special place in my heart like mom. [Camera pans to a red obese raccoon wearing suspender pants picking his nose. Krillin points the camera to the right and it pans to Tails.] And when I'm not spending time with Tails, I go to the skating park, make some sweet moves to impress the fans, then I go to Twinkle Park with Amy. [Amy returns, with hearts in her eyes again] Ride the Ferris Wheal, and Marry-Go-Round...

Krillin: Thank you, Mr. Hedgehog!

Sonic:... Go to the arcade, then go to her apartment with her, make love...

Krillin: NOTHING FURTHER!!

Sonic: [With Amy clinging onto him, kissing him]... Sweet sweet love all night long, then I go to Eggman's base and invade it!

Krillin: [Waves his arm to signal him to stop, which fails] DAMN IT!!

Sonic: And after that, I back to my apartment and hang out with Tails a bit. [catches breath] Wow! That was one exciting week!

Amy: [Licking his chest; speaks in a sensual voice] You said it. [wink.]

Judge Giran: Shut up, you weirdos. Android 20, your witness.

Gero: Have you ever have a thought of spending time with you young brother lately?

Sonic: Well, yeah, I think so.

Gero: What do you do when you spend time with the boy.

Sonic: I do things that a big bro does with his little bro.

Gero: And those activities include...

Sonic: Umm... I have no idea, man.

Gero: I see. I know you are a professional when it comes to skateboarding, so tell me have your brother Miles "Tails" Prower know how to play this game call... "skateboarding?"

Sonic: Yeah, a little... well, speaking of skateboarding, about a year ago, I had a part-time job at s restaurant. And after nearly 6 months I got the expensive Skateboard I always wanted. I was going to show Tails that day, but the little bastard has other plans.

Flshbk Tails: Hey Sonic, I learned this new sport call "Airball!

Flshbk. Sonic: Hey, that's cool, bro! How do you play Airball?

Flshbk. Tails: Well, you take this ball, (Takes out a metal, tribal-type ball), and the object of the game is to kick the ball in mid-air and hit it in the goal. [Throws the ball into the air, a kicks the ball, which accidentally hits the Skateboard, and breaks it.]

Flshbk. Sonic: MY SKATEBOARD!!

Flshbk. Tails: Oh man! I'm sorry Sonic!

Flshbk. Sonic: [Angry anime face] YOU WRECK MY BOARD!! [Tails runs and Sonic chases him.] COME BACK HERE!! [After 15 minutes of Running Tails flew up to a tall Tree in the Mystic Ruins and clings onto like a cat]. TAILS!! GET DOWN THERE!!! I WORKED FOR ALMOST A YEAR FOR A 1000 DOLLOR BOARD AND YOU WRECKED IT!! WHEN YOU COME DOWN HERE, I'LL KICK YOUR 2-TAILED AS-[Flashback ends]

Sonic: And I never liked Air ball since.

Gero: And who taught him this "Airball" game?

Sonic: Well, I guess Knux taught him that game, suppose to be some tribal battle crap back then. I don't see what Airball has anything to do with this. I can't believe I even brought up that topic. There is other decent crap out there like baseball and all that.

Gero: More decent than "AIRBALL"?!! Duh duh duuuummmmm! Nothing further.

[Transition: {Gravel Pounding} to:
Orange Star Justice Hall, Courtroom, 3 minutes later. Knuckles is at the stand.]

Gero: Mr. Echinda, how long have you known Miles?

Knuckles: Why, 2 years, about a quarter of his life.

Gero: And how do you describe your relationship with him?

Knuckles: I'm his friend and partner in battles against villains.

Sonic: [Whispering into Krillin's ear] Did Knux gain a personality change or somehting? This ain't like him.

Krillin: [Notices something move on his feet. He looks down; it was a wire.]

Gero: What does Miles mean to you? [Krillin drops down, and starts to crawl, tracing the wire to its source.]

Knuckles: He means... he means everything to me. I taught him how to use the island's technology, and how to play Airball. But he taught me so much more in my 17 years of life. He taught my how to care, how to nurture, he taught me what it feels like to have a actual family. And I don't see why some people like a blue bastard stopping crime and saving the world from a mad scientist should get in the way from what I know in my heart to be true!! I say no more!

Gero: Thank you. [Krillin gets to the plug where to wire is, and quickly realizes what it's for.] Your witness.

Krillin: Of course! It's so damn obvious! That's why...

Judge Giran: MR KRILLIN!!

Krillin: WWAAAHH!! Uh, yes sir?

Judge Giran: Your witness.

Krillin: Yes, you're honor! Knuckles, how long have you known Tails?

Knuckles: Why, 2 years, about a quarter of his l-

Krillin: Interesting. Tell me, Knuckles. What do you have to say about...... THIS?!!! [Pulls the plug, and the lights suddenly turns off.] Oh damn. Sorry. [Plugs it back in] Tell me Knuckles. What do you have to say... [searches for the plug.] No, that's not it. No, no, oh, that's not it. Oh, there it is! WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO SAY ABOUT......... THIS?!! [Pulls the right plug. Sparks suddenly shoot from the back of Knuckles' neck. He grunts and wiring sounds can be heard as he drops his face onto the desk, then became motionless. He was a robot the whole time.]

Judge Giran: [Pounds gravel] Order! ORDER!! Mr. Krillin, you better have a damn good explination for th-

Krillin: I do your honor. You see, a few months ago during Sonic Advance 1.5, the Egg factor, Knuckles mysteriously became left handed and his suddenly has laces when up until then they always been clip-ons, notice the metal part of his shoes. You see the obese bar tender that gave Knuckles the weird tasting frozen lemonade at the Station Square Pub in Sonic Adventure: The Uncut F-ZERO Ripoff Edition, is the same man who later "confiscated" as he claim Judge Giran's 1987 Honda SUV, and drove off without giving insurance information. That man created a robot Knuckles and programmed it to get Tails and bring him to him! And that man, your honor,......... is in this VERY courtroom! Uh, snotogrophor, read back what I just said.

Snitographer man: Uh, yes sir. Something about Lexus, and uh... clip-on shoes...... and uh... uh... arrr... AAAAARRRRRGGGGGGHHHH!!!! DAMN IT!! THIS PIECE OF JUNK DOESN'T MAKE ANY SENSE!!! [Pulls out his long black hair in frustration, revealing his true identity.]

Sonic: Gasp!! [Jumps on the table, pointing at the man] IT'S YOU, DOCTOR......... uh... doctor...

Krillin: Eggman.

Gero: S***! We're discovered! [Pressed a button on his wristwatch, and a Red Ribbon Army Battle Jacket falls through the ceiling. Gero jumps him.] So long, Krillin, may we meet again!! HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!! [The jacket blasts off into the sky.]

Eggman: WAIT!! DR. GERO!! COME BACK!! DON'T LEAVE ME HERE!! [The cops ran to Eggman and arrests him.]

Cops: You have the right to remain silent. [Walks to the Orange Star prison with Eggman] Anything you say can and will be held against you in the court of law...

Judge Giran: Pretty convincing robo-thing there for a second. CASE DISMISSED! [Pounds gravel]

[Everyone leaves the courtroom. After 45 minutes, a custodian with headphones and a CD player comes in with a vacuum cleaner, sweeping everything up.]

Custodian: [Singing to Ladies Night by K.C. and the Sunshine gang.] Duh duh duh, ladies night, duh duh feeling's right, duh duh duh... huh? What's this? [Plugs in a unpluged plug. The robot Knuckles rose up and starts break dancing to Craig David's "Can You Fill Me In"]

[Transition: {KAMEHAME-LAWW!!!} to:
Krillin's office, 3 hours later. Tails sits in the chair while Krillin sits at his desk.]

Krillin: I want to tell that your brother loves you with all of his heart.

Tails: But he sucks at AirBall.

Krillin: Well, Michael Jordan sucks at Baseball, but that doesn't mean he wasn't good at any other sports like Basketball. I think you should give him another chance. [Pushes intercom] 18, send Mr. Hedgehog in.

Sonic: [Comes in with what looks like a telephone with a monitor on it.] Yo, Pales!

Tails: Sonic, you're back! [Hi-fives Sonic.]

Sonic: Guess who's on the moni-phone! [Shows both Tails and Krillin the monitor. On it is Knuckles, who turns out to be on a trip to Jamaica with the Chaotix, with the Chaotix passing a beach ball in the ocean in the background.]

Knuckles: Hey, guys! I called to see what was up after I heard what happened between you and Eggman's robot!

Sonic: Knuckles, I can't believe I forgot you were on vacation!

Knuckles: I left my postings by the shrine. You never read my postings.

Krillin: I tell ya, Eggman's robot is pefect! I didn't know how the man would have done it without using a life-sized body mold of you, Knuckles. But, where could he have gotten one of those, huh?

Tails: Yeah, tell us where, Knuckles.

Knuckles: [Nervously] Uhhh.

Sonic: [Angrily] Knux, you have some explain to do!

Knuckles: Well, there was one time about 6 weeks ago when this "artist" ask me to pose naked for him so he can sculpt me, then uh... Gee, look at the time! I have to meet Vector at the arcade! Gotta go! [Hangs up. The monitor goes blank.]

Sonic: So, now that this crap's overwith, why won't we play a little... AirBall.

Tails: Sure thing, Sonic! [Pulls out the ball, flies up, and is about to kick it.]

Krillin: Wait...

Tails: [Accidently kicks it into the Karosene heater, which explodes, covering the room in smoke.]

Krillin: Crap...

[Everyone laughs]
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Well, that's the end of that chapter, another one's coming up! Please read and review 'til then!

(Coming up next: Kurama, Yu Yu's pretty boy, is suing the Spirit World coffee shop for an accident that occured. You won't believe the DeCafinated action that comes up in the next episode "Between a Kyuubi and a Juav Place." Stayed tuned!)
(Kyuubi: Japanese Fox Demon.)