Dragon Ball/Z/GT Fan Fiction ❯ Learning ❯ Learning ( One-Shot )

“Well, I guess at least I won't have to worry about getting yelled at for not making any money anymore,” Goku put a hand behind his head, laughing

 

Along with all of the others, Vegeta stared incredulously.

 

“You don't really mean that, do you, Dad?” Gohan gazed upon his father with sad eyes.

 

“Well…hahah…well sure I do,” the man laughed again. His chuckle, though nervous, sharply contrasted the melancholy sunset and the weeping. An elderly Bulma knelt beside the grave, droplets of her tears gracing the flowers upon it. The others - Goten, Videl, Pan, Krillin, even Yamcha - stood nearby, their eyes at varying degrees of wetness.

 

“How can you be so disrespectful?” Videl demanded, noticing how hurt her husband was.

 

“I just…ah…hahah…it's…it's the truth, though, right?” Goku smiled. He received a few disbelieving glares in return.

 

“She was your wife, Goku,” Bulma wiped her eyes. “What would she think if she knew you were insulting her like that at her own funeral?”

 

“I…” Goku sighed, glancing down. His head came back up with another smile. “I know…I just…I'm going to go…go think somewhere,” he finished weakly, making his way through the adjacent forest. No one followed him, merely sending the man off with more upset gazes.

 

Vegeta slipped away, following the other Saiyajin's path. “Kakarrot,” he called after him. Goku did not stop until he reached a small clearing. “Kakarrot, what was that?”

 

“Um,” Goku once again put a hand behind his head, chuckling.

 

“No matter how you felt about her, I'm shocked that you insulted your harpy like that.”

 

“I wasn't trying to insult her.”

 

“Then what, pray tell, were you trying to do?”

 

Goku continued smiling, but as he turned his head to the sinking sun, Vegeta saw what was behind his eyes. He could feel the tension - easily mistaken for happiness - radiating from the man. It was a feeble wall - it could break at any moment. Suddenly Vegeta felt the bending and snapping of the stiff cords that Goku was using to hold himself up. Soon, the dam would burst, and the younger man would be an absolute mess. “I dunno, I was just…”

 

“You're holding it all in. This is the only way you can cling to your sanity,” Vegeta answered.

 

His eyes shifted from the sky to the prince. “Yeah,” he responded, his voice chipper but taut as the stretched himself to his limits. “I don't want to fall apart.”

 

“The only way you can hold yourself up is by pretending nothing is wrong - by taking your optimism too far.”

 

“I guess,” his breath was a telltale shudder that meant he was on the brink of tears.

 

“It's called denial, Kakarrot. I've tried it. In the end, it wasn't worth it.”

 

Goku nodded, taking another deep, shaky breath.

 

Vegeta stepped closer to the other man, placing a hand on his shoulder. “Collapse,” he muttered.

 

Somehow, the word contained more power than Goku would have guessed. At its sound, his knees buckled, and he crumpled to the ground.

 

“Feel any better?” the prince asked quietly, kneeling down to Goku's level.

 

“I feel horrible…”

 

“Let yourself hit the bottom, and soak it in. Feel reality.”

 

Clutching Vegeta's hand, Goku sobbed, his ululations echoing eerily from the distant rock faces. After the loud utterance, he continued weeping quietly, but intensely. “I can't believe she's gone so soon,” he managed. “I don't know what I'm going to do without her to guide me. I've forgotten how to live alone.”

 

“Is that why you're so upset?” Vegeta mumbled, shaken by the passion in Goku's laments. “Just that?”

 

Somehow, Goku was not offended. “I…I guess…” he continued holding onto Vegeta's hand, as if the prince might leave him to cry alone if he let go.

 

“No, you know better,” Vegeta scolded him, reassured him. “You need no guidance, and you need not live alone. It's just the fall that hurt you.”

 

He looked up with tear-rimmed eyes. “The…fall?”

 

“You were propped up on false happiness so long that finally exposing yourself to the truth was a jump from a cliff. Kakarrot, you have to be miserable sometimes.”

 

“I am now,” he answered softly, sitting up.

 

“Then rebuild. Put some supports beneath you and work your way back up to your idiotic, cheery self.”

 

“How do I do that?” Goku repositioned himself so that he sat beside Vegeta.

 

“Getting rid of your foolish uncertainties would help.”

 

“What do you mean?”

 

“What are you most worried about, right now?”

 

With downcast eyes, the larger Saiyajin pondered for a few moments. “That…that no one will love me like Chi-Chi did. That I'll have to live the rest of my life with that part of me empty.”

 

“The rest of your life? That's a very long time, Kakarrot.”

 

“That's why I'm worried.”

 

“It won't happen. Plenty of people could become fond of you, Kakarrot. You are magnetic,” he answered, cursing himself inwardly at letting the last phrase slip.

 

“You…you mean it?”

 

Vegeta nodded.

 

“How do you know? I mean, just because it's simple for me to come by friends doesn't mean I'll have such an easy time with romance. Besides, no one's interested in a guy who only likes fighting and eating and can't drive and can't get a job.”

 

“This isn't the Kakarrot I know,” Vegeta responded sharply, raising his eyebrows. “Putting yourself down. Idiot, you may have some undesirable traits, but just look at your positi…” he stopped himself before letting it get too sappy. “Well, you know what I mean.”

 

“Aw, thanks, Vegeta. But…but I don't know. Even if they want me, I don't know if I want them. Any of them,” he ran a hand through his hair, distraught.

 

“Any of whom?”

 

“Just…people. They'll get old and die just like Chi-Chi…”

 

“You have to accept that, or you have to think of an alternative. Bulma's old, too. Her day will come soon.”

 

Goku brought his eyes to Vegeta, trying to figure out what emotion was to be put behind that statement. But the prince's face was painfully neutral; Goku couldn't tell if Vegeta dreaded this day, or didn't care. “What will you do then?”

 

Vegeta shrugged. “Pursue other things, I suppose. Let her fade away.”

 

“Won't you be lonely?”

 

“I've always been lonely,” he answered cryptically. “But yes, more so than usual.”

 

Goku's brows furrowed. “What do you mean, you've `always been lonely'?”

 

He snorted, angry with himself for admitting to that. “Never mind.”

 

“Vegeta?” the other Saiyajin leaned forward, tilting his head to put it into Vegeta's field of vision. “What do you mean?”

“Forget it.”

 

His hold around the prince's hand tightened, as if to remind Vegeta that he wasn't going anywhere anytime soon.

 

Vegeta heaved a sigh. “Bulma supports me, is and has been the source of both emotional and physical affection in my life, but she's no Saiyajin. She doesn't care to know about Saiyan customs or rituals or history…it's almost as if she regards me as a human, albeit an unusually strong one. Petty disappointments, one might think…but…”

 

Goku waited patiently with shining, concerned eyes.

 

“But…I wish there was someone out there who cared for my race…someone who respected it more. No human will comprehend it, of course. But I am bonded too deeply to my people not to strive to pass on their memory, if only to one more person.”

 

“You're right,” Goku stated, almost as if admitting it guiltily. “They wouldn't, just like Chi-Chi didn't understand why I was always so battle-hungry. And Bulma's no Saiyajin.”

 

Vegeta sighed, tracing the royal symbol into the dirt with the hand that was not still in Goku's grasp. Somehow, the prince didn't mind leaving his hand there. It was for Goku's comfort, of course - he was teaching him sorrow and how to deal with it, so let the fool be close to him; no one was around to see it, anyway.

 

“But…but Vegeta?”

“Hm?” he did not move his gaze from the symbol, tracing more foreign markings around it.

 

“I'm a Saiyajin.”

 

Vegeta paused, his gloved finger hovering over the dirt.

 

“The rest of my life is a really long time. Promise we won't drift apart.”

 

“We won't - we can't. But Kakarrot, do you mean that you—”

 

“And I…I want to spend the rest of my life close to you.” He squeezed Vegeta's hand. “Really close to you.”

 

Vegeta flushed slightly, resuming his writing in the dirt.

 

“I want you to teach me like you taught me today.”

 

He sent the other man an inquisitive gaze, still blushing.

 

“Will you?”

 

“I…I guess…” he stuttered unsurely. “Kakarrot, you…”

 

“How do Saiyajin mourn?”

 

Vegeta blinked slowly, until he finally understood the gravity of the question. “All right, Kakarrot. I'll teach you.”