Dragon Ball/Z/GT Fan Fiction ❯ Lies, Deception, and a Baby ❯ Bulma's Wedding ( Chapter 16 )

Disclaimer: I just love weddings, don't you? Too bad I've never had one of my own. Let's just say that … the day I get married is the day I will own DBZ. I.e. … NEVER!! *SOB* Always the brides maid, never the bride! The story of my life!! T.T

Warnings: Yamcha's an asshole. But then again, we already knew that, didn't we? ^.~

Lies, Deception, and a Baby

Chapter 16: Bulma's Wedding

Bulma fidgeted. Were brides supposed to be nervous at their own weddings?

Well, when the bride was the richest heiress in the world, and there were over a thousand of the richest people in the world at her wedding, she figured she had the right to be just a teensy bit nervous about the upcoming event!

Bulma smoothed her hands over the skirt of her gown as her gaze darted about nervously. Why did they have to get such a big place for the wedding? Why couldn't they just have a small, intimate ceremony, with only their closest friends and family?

She hated the big, white building. How the high-ceilinged chamber, with rows and rows of guests, felt so impersonal. How the old, feeble man preparing to marry them could barely see five centimeters in front of his face without his glasses-which had conveniently gone missing just moments before, delaying the ceremony.

The location and attendance, however, were not Bulma's only reasons for being nervous.

The groom had caused a bit of her anxiety, as well.

Before getting married, they had to take a blood test. Bulma had passed-Yamcha had not. Apparently he had genital herpes, which he claimed to have caught from some random woman named Cynthia (A/N: If you don't know who that is see Chapter 7: Juggling Act). So in the end Bulma had bribed the blood test guy to keep quiet about the whole incident; it would be embarrassing if anyone ever found out that her husband caught herpes while cheating on her!

But what was even worse was the fact that tonight would be her wedding night. A wedding night with a man that had herpes! She didn't want to catch it! Tears welled up in Bulma's eyes. But she couldn't very well refuse him on their wedding night; after all, it was their wedding night!

Damn wedding night! She cursed to herself.

But there was nothing she could do. So Bulma just straightened her spine, turned to face the old dude who had just found his glasses in his front pocket, and saw Yamcha smiling at her. She shuddered and turned away. How could he smile at a time like this? Dammit! She didn't want to marry him!

She turned around to look at her parents. They looked so happy! Her father was so proud to finally give his daughter away! After all, she was getting on in years, and still lived with her parents-and after her marriage, why, naturally she'd move out! The secret dream of all parents was about to be realized in the Briefs household, and Dr. Briefs, for one, couldn't have been happier!

So the old dude-with power vested in him by some authority or other-began to drone on and on about … something, as Bulma zoned out, instead looking around at all the sparsely scattered, yet pretty, pictures on the walls.

"If anyone knows of any reason why these two should not be wed, speak now or forever hold your peace."

Bulma could almost hear the crickets chirping-even though it was still morning!

Please, she silently begged, please let someone speak up! Please don't make me go through with this! Arrgh! Why do I keep changing my mind? First I want to marry him, then I don't, then I do again, then I don't again! And if I say no or something, I'll probably regret not marrying him, and want to do it again! Why can't I make up my mind, dammit? Why must this keep happening to me?!

`Because you're a slut?' the mean internal voice offered nastily.

Oh, shut up, you! Bulma mentally blew a raspberry at the other voice.

Soon, the short silence was over, and the old man continued with the ceremony, even as Bulma's face crumpled with regret. Where was Vegeta? Why hadn't he come and saved her, at just the right time?

"Do you, Yamcha, take Bulma to be your lawfully wedded wife?"

"I do!" Yamcha exclaimed, grinning evilly and rubbing his hands together.

Bulma glanced at him from the corner of her eye, and shuddered. She was planning to marry that? What had she been thinking?!

Obviously, she hadn't!

"Do you, Bulma, take Yamcha to be your lawfully wedded husband?"

Bulma glanced over at Yamcha, and his eager puppy-dog eyes. Then she turned around and glanced at her parents, beaming at her from the front row. Then she turned back to the old dude squinting through the little glasses. She took a deep breath, prepared to take the final step.

"No."

A series of gasps from the assembled group of guests filled the room, echoing off the walls. A moment later, Bulma heard a pin drop-apparently a woman had been knitting a few rows back, and in her shock dropped a pin, a sound that could be heard throughout the entire chamber.

Bulma turned around, prepared to march out of the non-denominational building and go home, to forget the whole thing. But behind her stood two burly men. Each man grabbed one of her arms, then pulled her, kicking and screaming, through a tiny door in the corner of the room, while her father stood up to make an announcement to all the guests.

Through the door was a tiny little room, walls painted black, with no windows and only the single door. A single wooden chair sat in the center, and a single lightbulb swung from a chain in the center of the room, providing the only light.

The men tied Bulma down in the chair. One of them looked down at her with a smirk.

"This is the room for reluctant brides," he told her, answering her unasked question.

Bulma shuddered. She hoped they weren't planning to send her back out there in a few minutes, in a new color scheme of black and blue!

However, shortly several more people arrived in the little room; her father, Yamcha, and Puar.

"Bulma," her father began, "As you know, it's every father's dream to see his little girl married." He glared at her. "However, when she gets him to pay over a million dollars on her wedding and associated expenses, then decides, at the altar, that she's changed her mind, he has a tendency to get a little cranky!" She could practically see the steam blowing out of his ears. The rage in his eyes, too, spoke volumes. "So, on that note, I've decided that if you won't get married yourself, we'll have to marry you by proxy."

He snapped his fingers, and an instant later Puar morphed into a rather deformed Bulma, wedding dress and all.

Bulma gasped.

"Oh, Puar, how could you!"

"It's always been my dream to marry Yamcha!" Puar told her angrily, turning loving eyes towards Yamcha. "If there weren't laws against beastiality, he never would have needed you! I would have been more than enough woman for him!"

All the human occupants of the room sweat dropped, including Yamcha.

"Well," Dr. Briefs said, stepping in between `Bulma' and Yamcha. (A/N: to avoid confusion, Bulma=Bulma, `Bulma'=Puar disguised as Bulma) "I guess it's time to get on with the ceremony!" He waved to Bulma, then exited the little room, Yamcha and his `fiancée' following closely behind.

Bulma struggled with the ropes, but to no avail. The two burly men standing before her just grinned down at her.

Outside, meanwhile, the ceremony began again. Dr. Briefs told the old dude to just hurry up and go straight to the "I do's".

"Do you, Yamcha, take Bulma to be your lawfully wedded wife?"

"I do."

"Do you, Bulma, take Yamcha to be your lawfully wedded husband?"

"I do!" squealed `Bulma.'

"I declare you man and wife! You may kiss the bride!"

`Bulma's' arms latched themselves around Yamcha's neck as she pulled him down for a long, fierce, passionate kiss. Yamcha struggled to free himself from her sloppy embrace, but the shape-shifting cat was just too strong for him! She had waited this long to get a kiss out of him; and tonight would be their wedding night! She couldn't wait!

As the crowd cheered, however, they didn't notice a lone figure floating outside the building, looking in through a large window just above the doors, looking down on the kissing couple.

A snarl gathered in his throat.

"WOMAN!" he shouted, grabbing the attention of all the wedding guests. `Bulma,' however, refused to stop kissing Yamcha.

"WOMAN!" His cry was even more fierce, and he began to power up with rage at the sight before him. How dare she try to trick him and marry that bastard anyway? And how dare she kiss the diseased rodent of a human? He'd kill the weakling!

When `Bulma' still ignored his voice, he let out a deafening cry and crashed through the window. Glass shards shattered everywhere, and the people in the crowd had to shield themselves from it. He flew down to where the couple still kissed, and socked Yamcha in the jaw, the force of his blow sending the scarred warrior across the room and freeing `Bulma' from his embrace.

"Hey!" `Bulma' exclaimed. "How dare you do that!" She tried to slap Vegeta across the cheek, but he caught her wrist. She gasped with surprise, staring up at him with scared eyes.

"Woman," he growled, "You will pay for that. He glanced over at Yamcha. "After I make you a widow!"

"No!" `Bulma' cried, "Wait! Don't hurt him! I'm not really Bulma! I'm Puar!" She morphed back into her normal, floating cat form.

Upon seeing this, half the wedding guests fainted. The other half threw up. Who ever heard of talking, floating cats?!

Vegeta's eyes widened as he backed away from the cat. "What the FUCK is going on here?!" he exclaimed.

Meanwhile, in the "Room for Reluctant Brides," Bulma couldn't help but hear Vegeta's entrance. She smirked smugly at the two burly guards, who looked around in confusion, wondering where the loud voice had come from.

"They're going to call off the wedding anyway," she told the men, "So you might as well release me."

The two men, each being about an inch or two short of a foot, so to speak, looked at each other and shrugged. They then proceeded to untie the woman in the rather mussed wedding dress, and she quickly opened the door and ran out into the main chamber.

"Vegeta!" she cried happily as she launched herself at his unsuspecting back, jumping up on him and flinging her arms around his surprised body, toppling him over in her haste.

"Oh, Vegeta, I knew you'd come!" she exclaimed as she tried to turn him over so that she could kiss him. Her father and Yamcha, however, had other ideas.

"Hey! You're my wife, now, Bulma! You can't go around making out with other guys!" The now recovered, yet limping, human pulled her off his rival's back.

"We're not married," she hissed, attempting to fight free of his hold. "That was Puar, not me! You're married to Puar now!"

Yamcha scoffed. "Me and Puar? There are laws against that sort of thing, you know! Don't be disgusting!"

"Disgusting!" exclaimed Puar, glaring at him. "That's not what you said last night!"

Yamcha blushed and swallowed heavily, averting his eyes from all those staring at him-the entire group of wedding guests had by now recovered themselves and were sitting patiently in their seats, avidly watching the show.

"Excuse me," Dr. Briefs cut in, "But might I have my say?" By now Vegeta had pulled himself back to his feet and glared daggers at Yamcha. He grabbed hold of one of Bulma's arms, while Yamcha kept his hold on the other, and they both started pulling … hard.

"Ouch, guys!" Bulma cried out, "STOP!"

Both men let go at the same time, afraid of hurting her, and Bulma crumpled to a heap on the floor, her once beautiful wedding dress ending up ripped, smudged, and torn.

"ATTENTION!" Dr. Briefs yelled. Everyone stopped watching the love triangle action and turned to him. "Thank you." He absent mindedly began stroking the cat on his shoulder.

He cleared his throat. "Now," he began, "seeing as how she is my daughter, I believe I have at least some say in who it is that Bulma marries."

"Dad!" Bulma exclaimed from her heap on the floor, "I'm a grown woman! I can make my own decisions!"

Dr. Briefs glared at her. "A grown woman who still lives with her parents!" He cleared his throat again. "Now, Yamcha here has a nice job, and is independently wealthy. Whereas this other young man doesn't even have a job, and mooches off of our hard earned money! He's a gold-digger, ladies and gentlemen!"

The crowd, which consisted of mostly incredibly wealthy people, gasped with horror. Many of them had known gold-diggers in the past; not so many had lived to tell the tale.

Vegeta just growled. "Before you insult me any further," he said through gritted teeth, "I'll have you know that I could destroy this whole planet for your fucking insolence!"

Dr. Briefs smirked and folded his arms over his chest-a very Vegeta-like pose, some might say. "Not as long as Goku's around, you won't."

Vegeta's eyes narrowed. "I'll also have you know," he continued, in a low, calm voice that was somehow even scarier than his enraged tone, "That the brat your daughter is carrying-your grandson-is mine."

The wedding guests gasped at this shocking revelation. Dr. Briefs' eyes widened. He looked down at his daughter. "You're pregnant?" he exclaimed. "Why didn't you tell us?"

Meanwhile, Mrs. Briefs jumped up from her seat and began jumping up and down, clapping with happiness. "I'm going to be a Grandma!" she exclaimed happily. "Oh, I'm going to have to start my knitting! The baby will need socks, and cute little hates, and mittens, and all sorts of things! And we'll have a nursery, and it will be just like when Bulma was a little baby!" She giggled and continued celebrating her future status as a grandmother.

At his wife's words, Dr. Briefs shuddered. The worst time of his life had been the years from the announcement of his wife's pregnancy until Bulma had been finally old enough to enter kindergarten. The years in between he liked to refer to as his "Hell Years." Those Navy SEALs, and their "Hell Week"-those kids didn't know what the meaning of Hell was until they'd spent a day with an infant/toddler Bulma Briefs!

Bulma just sat on the floor, in the midst of a sea of white dress, blushing bright red.

Yamcha, meanwhile, stood beside her, grinning, unbeknownst to anyone else-it's not like anyone was actually looking at him, anyway! He couldn't believe his unbelievable luck! Vegeta obviously cared about the baby, if he was willing to mention it! So if Yamcha could convince Bulma to marry him, an affair with Vegeta wouldn't be far behind. He could just see it now! The long, cold winter nights in each others arms … the hot, sultry nights of summer, doing erotic things to one another … he couldn't stop from drooling at the very thought!

But he had to think fast, or else Vegeta would end up married to Bulma, and he'd be completely shut out of the picture-his fantasies would never be fulfilled!

"Well, tough luck, bad man," he taunted the Saiyan Prince. "It doesn't matter to me if you're the father of her child or not! I'll be a better dad than you, anyway!" He glared at his rival for Bulma's affections. "She's marrying me!"

Bulma glanced up at him. Yamcha was really that desperate to marry her? What was going on …

Vegeta growled and glared at the human. "No!" he barked. "She's not yours! She's mine! Besides," he added with a smirk, folding his arms across his chest in that sexy, drool-inducing pose of his, "Why would she want to marry a low-life loser baka like you, when she could have the Prince of all Saiyans?"

Bulma noted mentally that he mentioned the word `marry' when referring to Yamcha, but only the word `have' when referring to himself. Two very different words, meaning two very different things.

Words that made her doubt her Saiyan Prince.

If only he'd tell me that he loved me, she thought wistfully.

If only …

Yamcha's expression matched Vegeta's smirk for smirk. This is really to easy! He thought to himself.

The Saiyan Prince had stumbled right into his trap. His surefire way to marry Bulma!

"Why would she want to marry me?" Yamcha asked innocently, still smirking at the Saiyan, unnerving the shorter man with his smugness. "Why, because I love her, of course," the lie rolled elegantly off his tongue.

Bulma stared up at Yamcha with wide eyes. Did he really love her? After everything? It was so hard to believe!

Then she turned to Vegeta. No matter which man she chose, she would be in an emotionally one-sided relationship. Would she rather be the object of a man's love … or the one to love a man who couldn't care less?

If only he'd say it!

If only he'd say those three magic words …

Each and every last one of the wedding guests sat on the edge of their seats; one man had just declared his love for her! Would the other follow suit? And which one would she choose? The suspense was killing them!

Vegeta stared in horror at Yamcha, then looked to Bulma. The way she stared at him, then blushed and looked away when she realized he was returning her gaze.

He knew exactly what she wanted him to do.

There was only one thing he could say to make it all better, to win back his woman.

Just three little words that needed to roll off his tongue, to heal all the wounds and make everything better.

It all sounded so simple.

But he honestly didn't know if he was capable of giving her what she so desperately wanted.

A/N: Yay! Another evil cliffy! Is he gonna say it? Or will Veggie chicken out?!

Next Chapter: Sniff, sniff!!! This is the end, I think. T.T There are only two more chapters (and of course at least one more lemon! ^.~) … Will Vegeta finally confess his true feelings to Bulma? Will she get to hear those three magic words?!?! Will I make Vegeta totally OOC and sing her love songs-with the help of a ukulele, of course-even at the cost of his own pride, in front of all those wedding guests?!?!?!?!?

Review and let me know what you'd like to see happen. ^.~ I'm always open to suggestions! Hehe, plus I'm on a sugar high right now (and probably will be for the next several days) … so anything goes! ^.~

Love, Tina

PS …It might be a few days before I can get the rest of the chapters up … so please be patient! ^.^ Thanx