Dragon Ball/Z/GT Fan Fiction ❯ Life Is Hard To Live ❯ In The Past ( Chapter 2 )

Title: Life Is Hard To Live
Chapter: In The Past
Author/s/: Veresti
Main Character/s/: Bra/Leigh and Pan

~*Author's Notes*~

Okay, by now I bet you have guessed that this use to be part of chapter one. Well, I split chapter one into two parts so that I could update more often. If the chapters are shorter, then I am more likely to update than if they are 4000 words plus, like they usually are. So on average, I now do 2000 words ect. I'd really appreciate it if those who reviewed the first chapter when this was part of it would review it again. Thanks a lot! Oh, and for those who have NOT read this before, please review! Even if it is only to say "I read it".

*Begin Chapter*

**Flashback**

One morning, she woke up to the bright morning sun shining brightly threw the sheer white curtains of her bedroom on her face, warming her inside and out. It was then she chanced to look across the room into the guilded crystal and ivory vanity beside the window and saw her sickly reflection.

She ran a hand across her face, which was pale and wane looking, but still soft and youthful despite the current harsh circumstances of her life. First along her softly sloping forehead, and then down her high, prominent cheekbones, then she swung up and ran the tip of her index finger along the bridge of her nose, and then down again to trace the curves of her lush ripe read lips, and down her chin and throat.

She stopped abruptly and swung her legs slowly over the side of the bed, not wanting to look upon the vision of what she had become. She was ashamed by what she saw when she looked at herself. Where once a beautiful young girl full of hope, life and joy with no cares or worries, ready to believe the best of everyone, was once reflected, stood a worn, sad looking woman in her stead. Long since familiar with the ways of the world and sadly jaded too soon by the cruel cold world as well.

She stood up slowly and tried to gather her courage up enough to look into the mirror once again. She stood there stolid and silent as she slowly tried to turn her head to look at the person she had become. What seemed like hours to her, but was actually probably minutes passed until she slowly walked to the vanity without once looking into its mirror. She reached down and made a great show out of smoothing and fluffing the plush cream colored velvet material of the seating cushion of the vanity's stool, until it could be fluffed and smoothed no more. Then she placed a pale, slim hand on the twisted candy cane style ivory and crystal edge of the vanity's table top to brace herself and closed her eyelids shut tightly. She sighed and took several deep breaths before she ever so slowly lowered herself to the soft seat.

She rested both of her elbows upon the cool, clear crystal and smooth creamy ivory of the vanity top, leaning heavily upon them, eyes still shut tightly. She took several more deep ragged breaths before sitting up strait upon the stool, preparing herself for the inevitable. She then allowed her rich aqua eyes to slowly open, her heavy eyelids slid open millimeter by millimeter, until she stood face to face, or rather face to reflection of the woman she had become.

A wealth of shame, self hatred and self loathing washed over her, as she stared unwaveringly at her reflection in her mirror. How had she let herself go like this? When had she become such a 'weakling' as her father would put it? Was she going to be like this for the rest of her life, a woman to afraid to stand up for herself?

'NO!' Her inner self screamed. But her outer appearance did not resemble the inner cool assurance her soul had of that. She squared her shoulders and looked into the mirror and closely examined herself. She frowned deeply and slowly traced her index finger over the dark circles that surrounded her once lively deep aqua eyes, the result of severe lack of sleep. She did this several more times to each eye, before she allowed her hand to drop to her side, and she merely stared at her reflection.

'Daddy would be so disappointed in me...' she thought idly. And with that thought, she snapped out of her self induced coma and stiffened in rage.

'I could have been so much more than this! I'm not as stupid as I look or act at all. I could have had a wonderful life. I could have gone to college, gotten a good education, a good job and been married by now with the usual two point five kids in a pretty little cottage with a white picket fence and a dog playing in the yard.' she thought angrily.

'If only I hadn't fell in love with someone I could not have... if only I hadn't left home... if only I hadn't reacted the way I did... if only I hadn't met Solan... so many if only's and could have been's but neither seem to be helping me at all right now.' she thought sadly.

"But there is a now, and I can still make something of myself," she said out loud with a newfound determination. She sat up proudly, and looked in the mirror at herself in a way she hadn't for a long time. She looked at herself with confidence and pride in herself, and what she could accomplish. She could do this. She would do this.

She reached toward the slim, elegant Victorian style ivory phone that sat unused, gathering dust in the corner of her vanity. Apparently he had forgotten to grab this in his routine sweep of the room for things she could use against him. It was too bad for him, but great for her.

She knew that there was only one person who was strong enough to help her out, no questions asked. She slowly dialed the almost long forgotten and unused number on the old fashion spin dial. It began to slowly ring a soft, dull ring, that seemed to echo as loudly as the backfire of a gun to her in her ears.

She swallowed deeply, trying to get the knot in her throat out of it as she waited for the person to pick up. And she almost had a heart attack as she panicked suddenly when she thought no one would pick up. But abruptly, someone picked up the phone receiver nosily.

"Hello?" said a deep male voice. Bra froze up abruptly as she heard the man's voice. It was him. It had been so long she had almost forgotten the sound of his voice.

"Hello?" repeated the man again. Bra still sat frozen, until she snapped out of it abruptly as she realized that he was going to hang up soon if she didn't respond, and then she would loose this opportunity.

"Hello," she said forcefully. "Is this Son Gohan?" she asked, knowing full well it was him.

"Yes this is Son Gohan. How may I help you?" he said softly, in his usual calm voice. Leigh sighed in relief as she realized that he didn't recognize her voice. But then again, she realized as the truth hit her full force.

'What reason could he have to remember me?' she thought with another sigh.

"May I please speak to your daughter, Son Pan?" she asked calmly, although that was the complete opposite of what she felt inside.

"Why of course," he said warmly. Leigh could almost picture his smile, as if it had only been yesterday when she had last seen it. Leigh smiled, an almost happy smile as she thought of it. The first genuine smile she had smiled in over three years.

"Thank you," she said softly.

"No problem. Just a moment please," he said.

"Okay," she agreed. She heard him set down the receiver gently and then heard his footsteps as he walked away. She heard him yell Pan's name loudly and stifled a grin as she pictured Gohan yelling, and Pan flying (A/N: not literally! *gives a scandalized gasp* ChiChi would have a fit!) around the corner and down the stairs in excitement for the phone. As if on cue, she heard the sound of Pan's rapidly approaching feet and grinned.

'They are so predictable,' she thought to herself.

"Who is it?" she heard Pan ask Gohan in the background.

"I don't know, I forgot to ask," she heard Gohan respond sheepishly. I could almost see him scratching the back of his head in an embarrassed motion. And she could imagine Pan shrugging casually in response. There was a loud shuffling noise as Pan picked up the receiver and placed it next to her ear.

"Hello?" said Pan.

"Hello," said Leigh softly.

"If I may please inquire, who is this?" asked Pan. Leigh whistled softly in amusement at the query.

"Oh, someone you haven't seen in quite some time," she finally said.

"Umm... I'm sorry but that doesn't narrow the field any," said Pan after she thought for a few moments.

"I've known you for most of my life, we use to be childhood playmates," hinted Leigh, stifling a chuckle. Leigh could almost imagine Pan's eyebrows rising comically as the realization of who she was dawned on Pan.

"BRA!!!!?!??!" she exclaimed loudly. Leigh heard glass drop and shatter into a million shards in an adjoining room to the one Pan was in and sighed deeply.

'Did she say it loud enough,' she thought crossly.

"The one and only. I go by Leigh now a days," Leigh responded. Leigh heard heavy footsteps in the background as Gohan approached.

"Pan is that Bra???!?!" she heard him exclaim.

"What do you want me to say to him?" Pan asked Leigh.

"The truth, what else?" said Leigh with a sigh. Leigh heard a muffling sound as Pan turned the phone away from her and obviously placed a hand over the talk end of the receiver, but she could still hear Pan and Gohan.

"It's Bra," she heard Pan say.

"I WAS TALKING TO BRA THE WHOLE TIME?!?!?" exclaimed Gohan. "Where is she?!"

"I don't know. I was about to ask that when you interrupted," said Pan calmly. She uncovered the receiver and brought it back up to her ear and mouth.

"Hello?!? Are you still there?!?!" Pan asked, slightly afraid that Bra had hung up.

"Listen up. I don't want you to tell anyone where I am. I don't want either you or Gohan to tell any one else I called either, got it?" asked Leigh harshly. "If you and Gohan don't promise me now, I'll hang up and never contact you again," said Leigh.

"Yes," said Pan hesitantly. "I'll tell dad," she said with receiver still at her ear and mouth.

"Dad, she says that you and I both have to promise to not tell anyone that she called or else she'll hang up now and never contact us again," Leigh heard Pan tell Gohan. She heard Gohan sighed deeply in the background in defeat.

"Okay. Let me see the phone now so I can promise it," said Gohan, reaching for the phone.

"Okay," agreed Pan. She slowly handed the phone to her father and sighed as well as he took it.

"Hello?" asked Gohan.

"Yes Son-sama?" she responded.

"I promise not to tell anyone you called, but I have to tell you that I don't understand why. Your mother has been worried sick, your father had a heart attack when he couldn't find you, and even Trunks was extremely worried about you. You need to come home, you should come home," he pleaded softly. Leigh exhaled raggedly and sighed, closing her eyes slowly.

"I would love to," she admitted. "You don't understand how much I'd really like to," she told him. She heard Gohan sigh in relief and she could almost see that infamous Son grin spread slowly across his handsome face, and cringed, knowing that she would have to burst his proverbial bubble.

"But I can't," she said flatly. She could almost hear his smile fade, as well as his happiness with it.

"Why not?" he asked simply. Not quite understanding why she couldn't, or rather wouldn't come home.

"Because I just can't, and let's just leave it at that," she responded softly. "Now may I please speak to Pan again?" she asked.

"Okay," he agreed with a sigh. "But Bra?" he said pausing momentarily.

"Yeah?"

"I miss you. Come home soon," he said simply. "You are always welcomed here. Always," he finished, before he relinquished his hold on the phone. Leigh held back a sob at his words, and silent tears began to course down her pale cheeks.

"Hello?" queried Pan.

"Yes," responded Leigh, stifling back more sobs. "I'm here. Do you promise?" she asked.

"Bra, I-" Pan began.

"Do you promise?" cut in Leigh.

"I-" Pan began again. Leigh held her breath for a moment as she thought for a moment that Pan was going to refuse.

"I promise," said Pan finally.

"Thank you," responded Leigh quietly. "Pan?"

"Yes?" asked Pan.

"I need you to do me a big favor...I need your help desperately....." started Leigh, purposely allowing her voice to trail off.

"What? Anything. I'll do anything to help you... so what is it?" asked Pan.

"Pan," began Leigh holding back a sob.

"What is it Bra?" asked Pan, beginning to get worried over Leigh's upset.

"I'm in big trouble!" sobbed out Leigh.

"What do you mean by 'big' trouble?" asked Pan cautiously.

**End Flashback**

If Pan hadn't come that day and helped her pack all her things and load them into capsules, she didn't know what might have happened if to her. Well, actually that wasn't true. She would probably be dead right now. Pan had then helped her find a place in New York City, although Pan didn't really want her to live in New York City. Pan thought that she should return home and stay with her mother and father again.

Pan visited Leigh often in her lonely New York City apartment, and for two weeks this continued until Leigh gave up and moved back to the familiar Hoshi no Toshi. She couldn't deal with the everyday hustle and bustle of such a big city after living in a small town all of her life. She had moved back to the same seemingly shining city, and into the same dreary neighbor hood that she had lived in exactly five years ago this coming Friday.

*End Chapter*

~*Author's Notes*~

As always, this fic is dedicated to Vix…