Dragon Ball/Z/GT Fan Fiction ❯ Life Through the Looking Glass ❯ I Want to, Because I Love You ( Chapter 12 )

Today is my favorite cousins birthday. Happy 17th Birthday Stephen. Have you noticed everybody is turning seventeen before me? That sucks. Love ya anywayz cuz.

Chapter 12: I Want to, Because I Love You

Have you ever been heartbroken? Birth, growth, love, heartbreak, and death. The five stages of life. It is what we all go through. We are born and we grow. We grow to love. Love always leads to heartbreak. Heartbreak always leads to death. It is that simple. To refuse it, is to deny life itself. But what if you did refuse it. A person is born to be them self. To write their own story. In the end, you end up with the same sad ending as everyone else. You all loose and grieve. Everybody learns to live like this. This is the normal day. You wake-up feeling refreshed and renewed, and then you cry and grieve as you remember that you have died. That you no longer live. That you are someone else instead of yourself. You died long ago, and even though you refuse to believe it, you know it is true. You can do nothing about it. You die because of heartbreak. Whether or not you are alone when you die or not. Whether you die in an accident, from a disease, or just from old age. Everyone will die in the end. Always with pain in their heart.

-From the Diary of Son, Pan

(Son, Carina)

Tuesday morning. Another day of the plan set into action. Trunks still didn't know, and that was how she wanted to keep it. It was morning yet again and she was at school. She hated school, especially the people at school. She thankfully came early enough to avoid Marron and her goons. She was currently sitting in her trig class waiting for the bell to ring and the other students to start filing in. She was alone in the classroom, excluding her teacher who was currently grading the test that they took last week.

Pan sat there at her desk trying to think of another poem to write. One that didn't come from the inspiration of Trunks. That was something she could do without. But no matter how much she wanted to deny it, he was her inspiration. She had never truly wanted to write until she met him. The way he treated her when it was just the two of them, the way he looked at her, the way he made her feel, the way he held her, and the way he smiled. Hell, just his eyes were enough to make her go weak in the knees… if she was that weak. She would never allow that to happen. She learned early on not to show weakness. That was one thing that came in handy while fighting. And today she would be sparring with Trunks. She smiled at that. She would beat Trunks. That she knew. She was stronger. She was a Saiyan, and he was just human. At that thought, the bell had rung.

The teacher put his papers away and started to get ready for the class. Pan took out her homework as students started walking into the class. She could see outside of the class from where she was sitting. And she saw Trunks. Trunks and Marron to be more specific. Trunks stood right outside the door with Marron's hand in his. He gave her a quick kiss and tried to walk away, however, Marron wanted more. She pulled him back trying to kiss him more passionately, but all she got was another quick kiss.

"I've got to go Marron. You don't want to be late for class do you?" Pan could hear Trunks say.

"Forget about class Trunks," and again, she tried to kiss him only to be stopped by his hand.

"The bell's gonna ring. I'll see you at lunch." And with that, he let go of her hand and walked into the class. Marron just glared and walked away.

Pan went back to getting her things out when Trunks walked into the class and going straight to his seat, not stopping to say hi to any of his friends that acknowledged him. You could tell that he was hiding something from Marron, and he was feeling guilty about it; but that wasn't stopping her.

Trunks sat down in his seat, not looking up. Pan stared at him, her gaze never lingering. She stared at him for a good five minutes, even after the bell rang. She just stared as him as he took out his things and prepared himself for class.

Trunks was feeling uneasy. He knew she was looking at him. He could feel the weight of her eyes on him. He was very uncomfortable with her, just staring at him. Why, he didn't know. It didn't take long for him to just snap.

"What the hell is your problem?" Trunks growled, never turning to face her. Pan simply smiled at him.

"Just wondering what's up your ass today. You walk into a class only seconds after refusing to kiss your girlfriend, you act as if you're hiding something, and you are completely ignoring everyone around you."

"Well, you sure got my attention." Trunks barked at her. Finally turning to face her. They stared each other down, their eyes never leaving the others…until Trunks finally gasped. Her eyes. He recognized her eyes. Carina had the same eyes.

Pan looked deep into his eyes. She saw something there. Something that he was hiding, and she was sure that it wasn't `Carina.' It was something else. But what? Just looking into his eyes, she could tell that this was not the Trunks that he was. This wasn't what he wanted to be. His eyes were so cold, as if he'd seen things no one else had; but so fierce, like he wasn't willing to give up. That there was something within him, that no one else had seen. Pan swore at that moment, to find out what it was.

"So what are you hiding from her Trunks?" Pan asked.

Trunks couldn't think. All he could do was look at her eyes. `The same eyes that Carina has. How could they have the same eyes? Carina is an only child. They do have the same last name, but they look completely different. Carina's funny, smart, and beautiful. And Pan is just, well, annoying. But they have the exact same eyes.

"Again, I repeat, what are you hiding from her Trunks?" She still didn't get an answer. She started waving her hand in his face, and after a moment, he finally snapped out of it.

"It's none of your business what I do. Why do you care?" Trunks asked her with an indifference attitude.

"Because whatever it is, it's tearing you up inside," Pan said with the utmost sincerity.

Trunks could only look at her. "After everything that I've done to you, why do you care?" Trunks stared at her in awe. Pan looked him straight in the eyes, smiled, and turned to face the teacher as the lesson began, cursing him, for inspiration for yet another poem.

I Want to, Because I Love You

His heated gaze,

That burns a hole right through me.

So much,

But so little,

To be told from his eyes.

A hidden past,

With so much suffering.

A secret that he strives to keep.

A secret that strives to keep him,

Within the darkness of his past

That swallows him whole

And tortures him with darkness.

Wanting truth

But refusing to accept

Reality and not a dream.

The coldness of his eyes,

That chills my every bone.

Silence that kills his heart,

Silence that kills my soul.

A hidden past,

That refuses to be found.

Longing for freedom,

But put in chains.

To cry without ever being heard,

To realize this is not a game.

Holding truth but never knowing it was there.

Living a lie that seems to be everywhere.

Wanting but never gaining acceptance from himself.

Buried deep within one's own mind.

Trying to help but slowly dying with him.

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I need help!!! If you guys want these chapters updated so quickly, you guys need to help me. I'm about to get a writer's block if you don't help me. I want to write two chapters for each day in the story. One for at school and the other after school when Trunks and `Carina' are alone. However, I'm running out of ideas. I already know what I'm going to be doing with Tuesday after school. The whole sparring thing. However, for Wednesday and Thursday I've got nothing. I want her to ask Trunks questions everyday at school, and do something with him after school. I don't know what yet. Friday and Saturday I've already got planned out. If you have any ideas or suggestions, they would be very much appreciated. Either you could put them in your review, e-mail me at trunksgirl_pan@hotmail.com, or you could IM me at trunksgirl_pan88. My IM is yahoo though, not hotmail. And thanks.

Okay, anyway. I know it's short but what can I do. I think I got the point across with what I wanted to get out of this chapter.