Dragon Ball/Z/GT Fan Fiction ❯ Live For Me Love Me ❯ Chapter 1

disclaimers: No I do not own Dragonball Z nor do I make money off of these fics

This is Yaoi and means boyxboy. Also, there's a hint of suicide so if these things bother you then don't read it.





Live for Me, Love Me

All went wrong. My perfectly planned evening with Trunks was a disaster. That's why I'm sitting here, on this cliff, gazing at the rocking waves of the sapphire sea. The tears ceased coming hours ago and now my eyes burn terribly. I'm so tired and yet I can't bring myself to sleep. Usually this scenery makes me calm but from some reason it makes my heart break a little more, more than it already has. Kami, I was so stupid! I thought Trunks shared my feelings, that he loved me too. I'm eighteen and I realized a few months ago that I was in love with my best friend. It makes sense. We were attached at the hip when we were children, always getting ourselves into some sort of mischeif. We grew older and we remained best buddies and I just messed that up. Our friendship is no more. Why did I have to inherit my father's intelligence? Why did I have to shoot my mouth off to Trunks and tell him that I love him? I kind of thought he felt the same. Guess not. He made it clear that he was straight before knocking me against the wall. I don't know what hurts worse; my heart or my body. Noones ever died of loneliness. Keep telling yourself that Goten, and you'll be fine...perfectly fine.

Who am I kidding?! Without Trunks I'm not fine. He's my other half, hell he even knows that much. We are soulmates so why can't he accept it? I see the love in those lapis eyes, if not there than in his body language. The way he'll 'accidently' brush against me or the stares. I noticed those Trunks. When I wasn't looking your eyes were always focused on me, not those brainless girls that flock around you daily. The waves are status quo, unchanging. They've been rolling in and out for all eternity, a constant reminder that life goes on but will my heart? Maybe I can convice Trunks that it was just a sick joke. That is if I can get close enough to tell him. How can I tell him it was a joke? That would be like slapping my own love in the face. No, I won't give him the satisfaction of knowing how deeply he's hurt me. Maybe...I can run away. No, they'd find me. Kuso, I knew I should have learned to hide my ki. I know.

I stand, pulling a butterfly knife from pocket. Why did I have this? Oh yeah, I went fishing the other day with Tousan. Will Trunks even miss me if I'm gone? I wonder if you can make a request not to be revived by the dragonballs? Other world was nice, I bet I'll get a one way ticket to see Shin. I hope he's not mad at my weakness. Suicides are always deemed pyschotic. I'm not. I'm lucid and I do know what I'm doing. I have to get rid of the pain somehow and death is the only way out. I can't live without Trunks. I plunge the blade into my heart, convulse a few times as blood oozes. Finally...release.

***** *****

My eyes snap open, my body's sweating as if I'd had the most horrific training session with my father. Something doesn't feel right. I stretch my arms above my head and yawn, pull on my favorite black boxers. I glance a picture frame with a photo of me and Goten. I still can't believe he told me he loved me. I'm his best friend and best friends don't fall in love. Besides, I'm straight. The evening went great. We went to see a movie, grabbed some pizza, went to the carnival. It was fun and yeah, I liked being with Goten. On our way home....was when he told me. I didn't have any warning either. I was so shocked but then I let my anger control me. I curse my father for that reason. His anger was passed onto me. I punched him, not caring if I broke every bone in his body. I am straight! He had the gall to try and convince me that I wasn't, that I loved him too, which I don't. I didn't even check to see if he was alright, just flew home. Maybe I should call him. I didn't want to hurt him.

My eyes shift to the alarm clock, big red digital numbers saying it was 3:10. Too late to call. Chichi would pitch a fit. I guess I can just fly over there. I doubt Goten's in bed. I dress into my navy training gi, tighten the ivory sash. Opening my window I take to the air. The air's chilly and there's a slight smell of....blood? Thats strange. Why would it smell like blood? Father and Goku aren't sparring. I gnaw my lip, feeling queasy. There was something wrong. As I near the Son house, I spread the webs of sense to locate Goten. He's not inside and I don't sense him anywhere else around either. He doesn't know how to suppress his ki and the only way-oh no. Don't tell me... Tears come to my eyes as I land on the doorstep. I don't know where Goten could be but there's only one way that his ki would not show up when I checked. I knocked loudly, not caring if I woke the whole damn world up. Goten was in trouble and it was my fault! My fault for being so fucking harsh to him. Oh Goten, please be alive.

Goku appears at the door, blinking sleep brown eyes. Eyes just like Goten's. "Trunks? Is that you?"

"Goku, its Goten! I can't sense him!" I cry out frantically on the verge of collapse. I can't believe Goten would...would kill himself! Not Goten. He's too strong. There has to be someother reason but what else is there?! Kami, I pray Goku knows where his son is because I sure as hell can't think of a place.

"What do you mean?" he asks, the sleep gone from his eyes the instant I spoke. I can tell he's trying to locate Goten as well. "Come on! I can barely feel him but he is alive."

We take to the air, I trail behind Goku warily. Damnit Goten! Your such a fool. Do I really mean that much that you would kill yourself just to get away from me? Why do I care so much? I don't love him or anything...do I? No! I'm straight. I don't like guys, I date girls. We near the site and I too can faintly pick up Goten's ki. The stench of blood fills our nostrils and I feel nauseious. I dread to see what Goten did to himself. The tears are now coursing down my cheeks like twin waterfalls as I kneel by my best friend. There's a knife protruding from his chest and the blood-good Kami the blood!-is everywhere. Goku's reaching into his pockets. Senzu bean. Thank Kami for you Goku, always handy when we need you.

Goten's eyes flutter open, the wound dissappearing rapidly. He glares daggers at me and his father. "How dare you!" He jumps to his feet, snarling. "I wanted to die!" The anger in his eyes, the desperation, is enough to make me shiver. As much as I want to, I can't stop crying. Goten's anger vanishes and is replaced by confusion. Goku glances at us before taking to the skies. He no doubt understands the situation. Goten paces forward and my reserve fails me. I sink against him, holding him to my chest.

"Why Goten?! Why did you do that?!" I half-yell, half-sob. The emotions swimming in the pit of my soul unnerve me for I've never experienced them. The grasp Goten tighter to closer the space between our bodies, emotions heavily radiating. I've never felt this before. Kami....I do love him. Through all the bitter words and actions, I've found that I care about Goten in the replica way he does me. I never would have guessed it. Me, Trunks Briefs and son of the Saiyan no Ouji, falling in love with my best friend.

Goten's hand cautiously carress my hair and I nuzzle against his neck. This content, serene feeling is the most amazing thing I've ever felt. I glance up and my eyes meet his. There's not hatred in his eyes for what I did to him. A sheen of love has glazed those dark, murky brown eyes. In his eyes, I see my own relfecting the visage. He cups my chin with his hands and leans down. The kiss sends a flury of warmth through my entire body. He doesn't rush these new feelings instead he just holds me in his arms and I am happy. Yes, I'm very happy to be with Goten. I don't have to apologize or tell him I love him because he already knows. He's known since we were children. I suppose these are the way things were supposed to be and I for one would not trade it for anything