Dragon Ball/Z/GT Fan Fiction ❯ Lost ❯ Brother & Sister Bonding ( Chapter 37 )

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Under constant threat and the prospect of no school next week, I have decided to get this chapter out within two weeks. Mostly due to Blitz, she's the constant threat. J/K Anyway, I know one person who will enjoy this chapter VERY much. Why, Gohan? SABI and Blitz asked me this and I guess I might as well explain myself just in-case any of you are wondering as well. Well, Goten has that twin bond thing so he isn't truly needed to express how she feels at the moment. Goku….can you say akward….Vegeta, well he screwed up letting her go last time and as you all know, Goku doesn't trust him. Chichi was with her at the base and well, I was getting tired of having a conversation between those two. Then we have Gohan, the older brother who promised he would protect her. That part will be explained soon. He just seemed to fit. Well, ya, I hope that explains it, and this author's note is getting way too long. I'll stop now.

Disclaimer: Do you really believe that I would own DragonBallZ?!?

Lost

Chapter 37…………

He stared solemnly at me, his obsidian orbs boring into my own. Gohan always possessed this intense glare that would strip you of every emotion you possessed, leaving your heart flayed out and exposed for him to inspect. Where he came to inherit such an ability was beyond comprehension. Chichi, having always been excellent with recognizing a liar, found difficulty when deciphering a person's emotions. In addition to Goku's ignorance of such things or rather his lack of acknowledgment of them was at a lost here as well. No doubt Gohan must have been perfecting this over the years; its value priceless when matters concerning Pan sprung up.

A small blush managed to filter onto my cheeks, the rush of heat alerting me of the intense silence that was surrounding us. A strange fascination with the duvet drew my eyes away from him, the stark white fabric stretching and scrunching in my hands now. No doubt this held a strange appearance, or rather screamed short attention span. Whether or not, Gohan stayed silent, taking the hint that when I wished to talk that I would initiate the conversation. If he could only detect the raging war of nerves verses logic. After all, here I was at Capsule Corp., again, in the sterile infirmary ironically enough. Moreover, after eleven years of being with Turlus and learning to kill and hold no remorse for my supposedly belated family, here was Gohan perched at my side as real as the bed I laid on. Yet, the unsolicited awkwardness and intimidation between us gnawed at me constantly. Everything was so different and unfamiliar. We could never be as close as we were before…could we?

"How are you feeling?" Gohan asked abruptly as he leaned forward. Ok, maybe he couldn't take a hint. Then again, this proves that there are some parts of his personality that still haven't changed.

"Feelin' great," I chirped falsely, the smile on my lips disgusting me. In no way would he buy this, but did he actually expect me to tell him otherwise?

A frown poised itself onto his face and I knew he could see through me. Yep, I am officially labeling him the "Human Lie-Detector." The title suited him, but then again it did remind me of his embarrassing Saiyaman days. Better to keep the little comment to myself, after all I didn't want the number of my confidantes to diminish.

"So…." He placed a hand subconsciously behind his head, "Do you know, uhh….." He paused for a moment as he poised his chin against one hand, the other running nervously over his face. Couldn't he be a little more discreet? His nervous tendencies were creating large knots in the pits of my stomach. Gohan usually didn't evade the subject unless it involved girls and that wouldn't pose a problem now, he was married after all…..yet, how much did I know about him anymore?

"Bulma, she….." He sighed for a minute, dropping his head so that his chin rested against his chest. There was something about his expression and desire for detachment…why did I have this feeling; like an unwanted omen looming over me, ready to crash and swallow me whole.

//Bulma and me…what the hell is he going on about??//

I glanced around for a moment, making sure that we were the only ones in the room. Damn my paranoia. Though, what could I expect from myself; paranoia had become my evil twin over the years, lurking in the shadows of my subconscious for as long as I could remember. It attacked every person I met, melted and formed every setting and shaped my life into what it was. One of the more prominent reasons that justified my survival with Turlus.

I heard a faint chuckle as my eyes wandered back to Gohan. He was smiling at me now, that same foolish grin that we had all respectfully inherited from our father. Yet, just as we all knew how to replicate it, we each knew that its use was purely for akward situations or to make a quick get-away.

"Bulma, she…" Gohan glanced back at the doorway, but there was nothing there, "took the bottles you had earlier."

I shuddered involuntary as I soaked up the information, the last few word uttered through a rushed babble. Could I be more careless?! Here they had no idea what they were for…..I couldn't even imagine what went on in their brains when they saw them. Well, my mother I could probably guess…ok getting off subject. I peaked up to find Gohan glancing at me from one eye hesitantley. Did I remind them that much of Chichi? My temper wasn't that bad, was it?

"You ok?"

The sound of his voice threw me completely off guard as I jerked from my position on the small firm bed. Yep, that one will add another tally to the `she's-mentally-disturbed' scoreboard. Couldn't I act normal around him for two seconds. Wildly enough, found myself chuckling at the situation; I must look like some kind of nut-case to him.

"Yeah, don't worry," I waved him off unduly. If my constant dazes didn't convince him, then these rapid-crazy arm motions did. Hello insane asylum.

Nope, didn't fool him….still has the ever creased forehead that only appears when he's worried. Before the day was done, I am almost positive that he will have an ulcer.

"Anyway…" I drawled, hoping to get the conversation back on track, "You were saying…"

"Oh, uhhhh…" His eyes widened as he found himself on the receiving end of the conversation. Jeez, what could make him this jumpy. Suddenly his face darkened for a moment as his mouth set into a firm line, "Xenia…"

I stayed silent and watched him carefully, with the way this conversation was going I would have to be overly perceptive of his mannerisms. Gohan took a deep breath before settling himself again. What could be so horrible that he would have this hard of time telling me?

"Xenia, What are those bottle for?"

Wow. I knew he would ask sooner or later, but I wasn't expecting it to be THIS soon. Though, the question truly puzzled me. What were they for? That was a good question.

FLASHBACK

I watched her lips part in a smile as her eyes ran over me. Her face scrunched up and blood abruptly poured from her mouth as a fit of coughs seized her. I could hear more explosions and felt the base shake threateningly, but I didn't move.

"You're…alright…" She choked out difficulty.

"Why…why did you…" She brought her hand to my lips to silence me and smiled once again.

"You remind me…." She coughed again and hissed sharply. Blood was beginning to collect into a large puddle beneath us, "You were so young…..and I old enough…to be your mother. In fact, I felt…like a mother…."

I stayed silent and let her continue, "I am sorry….for all the things….I have done….all the pain you had….to endure…I'm sorry…"

Her arms were braced protectively infront of her and I noticed the bottles peaking out. They were wrapped in a cloth and I could see none of them had broken.

"I know….you feel the pain….and I know you….don't want to ack…knowledge it, but…." she took a quick gasp of air and my hold tightened around her, "But these….will keep you….alive…"

I shook my head rapidly, "I don't deserve to live Vasha. I have killed to many, I can see the blood everyday. It's all over me."

She sighed and coughed again, "You may not…believe you deserve to live….but…does he?"

He? He who? She noticed my confusion and a dry chuckle managed to arise from her, "him." Her hand moved to rest on my stomach and I gazed at the spot intently. Him…my baby…..Turlus's child…

"But-"

She cut me off with her fingers once again, "You haven't…..done anything wrong…..for…they had not been your…decisions….live….live for him….live for yourself….."

I felt the scathing streams course over my cheeks and swallowed, "Vasha I-"

She smiled and this one reached her eyes, "I am so sorry….please live Xenia…plea…se….liv…"

I watched her eyes grow vacant and felt the limp feeling run its course through her body, and then her ki vanished. I held her in disbelief, I couldn't comprehend what had just happened and felt a tremor run through the ground beneath me.

Live…..Live for him….

END OF FLASHBACK

They were suppose to keep me alive….keep us alive. Vasha said that I could feel the pain. What pain, except for the obvious pings that resulted from my injuries? What pain was she talking about. Was there something wrong with me? Was I dying? I couldn't remember taking anything. What was going on?

"To live."

I whispered slowly, the words barely leaving my lips. I glanced up at Gohan and felt the tears fall down my cheeks. Vasha…why did you have to go? You were the only friend I had through those long eleven years. The only person who looked after me and genuinely wanted me to be happy and safe. Why did you have to die…..

"Xenia?"

I could hear Gohan's imploring words, sympathy leaking of every syllable. Another person dies because of what I did, because of my life.

Two strong arms encircled me and pulled me back into a warm embracement. I glanced up and found Gohan staring down at me, the same look was in his eyes. The one that reminded me of the Gohan I knew before all this happened. I leaned into him, closing my eyes as I enjoyed the feeling of his protective arms around me. Finally, I could be his little sister again. If only for this one moment, it would feel like nothing had ever changed.

He buried his face into my hair, sighing quietly to himself, "I'll always protect you."

I opened my eyes and glanced across the room, not paying attention to anything in particular. All I could hear was his words and all I could see was an image of my ever-loving brother smiling with a hand poised behind his head.

"I promised you that a long time ago, and…." I felt him shudder slightly, the next few words possessing a thicker tone than before, "I wasn't able to…You were taken away from us, and I wasn't there to save you. But…"

His hold tightened around me, and I could swear that the ever-present crack in his voice was real.

"I promise you now, again, that I won't let anything happen. If someone comes again, I won't stop hunting them till we have you back, but don't worry….they won't come as long as I'm here. I'll protect you, trust me when I say that I will protect you."

The last few words were spoken with such desperation, every syllable wrenching at my heart. Gohan…do you feel this guilt? Do you believe that everything that happened to me was your fault?

"I'm sorry."

I felt him lift his head up slightly, "What?"

I lowered my gaze to his hands and ran my hand over one absently, "I'm sorry. Everything…. Everything that has happened….and you believe that it's all your fault."

He settled back down, "It is…."

A small smile managed to filter onto my face, "You always do that."

I pulled back a little and turned around so that I could face him, "You always blame yourself, no matter what anyone says. You ride the guilt trip forever convinced that you were the only one to prevent it." I paused for a moment, my gaze coming back to my writhing hands, "You've always done that, always."

A gut-reaction? An impulse? How can I describe my reactions. I leapt forward, wrapping my arms around him. My hold tightened, the grip almost carrying a possessive quality to it. I buried myself into his chest, never wanting to let go in-case he would disappear, "Please…"

I knew he was confused, after all he hasn't seen me in eleven years. But what could I say what could I do, when he, "Please, tell me you haven't changed. That everything is the way it always was. That you still blush when you're uncomfortable, that you still laugh uneasily when Videl corners you about something, that you still look up at the sky everyday and night, that…."

My words ran off as the tears came again, "Please, tell me I haven't missed everything. I don't want things to be different."

His arms wrapped around me, his face buried in my hair once more, "Don't worry. I'm still Gohan. I'm still your brother, I may be married now and have a daughter, but I'm still the same guy. Nothing's changed."

I pulled back and glanced up, my hand reaching up to tweak his glasses, "You got glasses now."

He smiled, a small chuckle falling from his lips, "That I do. Well, maybe there has been a few altercations…."

I laughed at his sarcastic humor, the tears drying on my face. He still could make me laugh at a minute's notice, "Thank you Gohan. It was getting' kind of gloomy in here."

He nodded and helped me settle back into the small bed that Bulma had supplied me earlier, "You know, you should get some more rest."

I nodded and pulled the small feathery pillow against me, "Hey Gohan?"

He glanced at me, most probably surprised by my sudden inquiry, "Yeah."

"Ummm," lets open Pandora's box, "What were you going to tell me earlier. I told you that they were going to help me live, but I never understood what that meant."

He blanched for a moment, as a shocked expression took over his face. Than it came. A goofy grin spread across his face as he rubbed his head absently. The uneasy laughter came and I couldn't help the small frown from coming to my lips.

"Was I saying something? I'm tired…I don't know what I'm saying…"

Tired? That was the best excuse he could come up with. Gohan…..

He rubbed his temple slowly as he twirled his glasses carefully between his fingers, "You should get you rest anyway."

Didn't he say that already? Careful Gohan, you're starting to get repetitive. I peered at him suspiciously from one eye, weighing the situation gingerly in my mind, "You sure?"

"Yeah, yeah. Forget what I said. You gotta remember I am getting old."

I smiled again, deciding to let him slide this time, "Yeah, Gohan. You're REAL old."

"Hey, at least you still have your sense of humor."

I felt the smile vanish as I listened to his words. They made it sound as if I was a totally different person, but then again I was, wasn't I? The little chibi-Xenia that had a jubilant spirit and the ever questioning nature has seemed to vanish before his very eyes. At this moment, he caught a glimpse of her in me. The Xenia he remembered. He hasn't changed, but I…..I have….

I glanced up and bit back my guilt as I found Gohan's worried face staring back at me once again. I didn't want him to feel guilt or worry.

Maybe it was due to the insecure thoughts swimming around in my head but the only thing I managed to say would have to be categorized as completely selfish. I was tired of trying to comfort people or mostly I felt terrible about failing to comfort him.

"Stay here Gohan."

I couldn't imagine how vulnerable I sounded at that moment. An emotion that I was quickly finding myself in-tune with perfectly. I reached out hesitantly and grasped his hand, "Like old times."

He nodded and pulled the chiar closer to my bed, "Go to sleep."

The soft demanded was sealed with a small kiss on my forehead. The action reminded me of Chichi, she did that every night when tucking me and Goten in. I would never go to sleep though, not until Gohan came in and tucked me in as well. For a moment I grew envious of Pan, she had such a great father to watch over her. Gohan had been our form of Goku at home….

He pulled back and smiled. The thought of someone actually tucking me in seemed so surreal. Sure Vasha would do so on some occasions, but it was different with Gohan.

Sleep was a good idea. Everything was so tiring now-a-days. Why fatigue was catching up on me so quickly was beyond me. Then again, my body was in bad shape with the whole battle with Turlus and everything. However, I didn't want to think of such things, not now at least.

I closed my eyes and felt myself slowly start to drift off when a gentle movement against my left cheek caught my attention. Cracking open one eye, I found Gohan staring down at me with this loving, as I would guess, fatherly expression as one hand caressed my cheek, "Don't worry. I'm still here. I won't leave."

"Better not," I could remember myself mumbling before I fell into a blissful sleep.

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He gazed down at the sleeping form of his sister; her breathing now calm and rhythmic. It was strange how much she had changed over the years, but with the circumstances…how could she not? Brushing back a small lock from her face, Gohan sighed as he watched her.

"You look so innocent when you're sleeping, you know that?" He asked silently. He had meant it when he told her he would protect her. He had told her that long ago as well, but this time he would make sure that this would never happen again.

Leaning back against the stiff chair, he closed his eyes in a feeble attempt for relaxation. Yet, he found his mind drifting off to a stormy night long ago. A time were such tragedies, that had manifested now, were all but dark dreams in a child's slumber….

FLASHBACK

The room was consumed by an inexorable darkness. Dark silhouettes would appear abruptly against the sleek-caliginous glass that no moon had the chance to light. Brilliant streaks of white energy shook the ground; the heat they resonated tingling the hairs on the back of your neck. Yet, the worst to come was the constant roar that filled the air; resembling a lion as it defended its claim to a kill.

Through this a small young girl wandered through the twisting corridors, her back poised against the towering walls. Her large over-sized shirt swayed at her knees as she attempted an inch at a time. Her face was pulled into a mixer of fear and anxiety, every step causing her eyes to twitch or blink rapidly. Subtle creaks, manifested themselves, falling upon deaf ears as she slowly moved across the parterre. The only sound was her rapid heart-beat that held the constant pulsation within her ears. However, every movement, every creak, every step screamed and warned of an ominous omen that was soon to come.

Another flash, this time right outside the window. The bolt twisted its seeking coils and wrapped around the loam as if to mock her terror. The roar louder this time and whipping at her ears as she desperately sought for a sanctuary. Yet, her legs rooted themselves to the floor: thousand pounds weights strapped to both ankles. Her hands flew to her mouth as she desperately tried to drown out her cries. Soon they moved to cover her ears, the futile effort offering only more discomfort. Gradually, she sunk to her knees as she road out the terrifying wave until only the pounding of large-flinty droplets could be heard.

She was so close to her destination, the small portal only a foot or two away. The door that held way to her sanctuary, to her guardian. Pulling herself along she cried. The tiny droplets clinging to her cheeks and soul. Ever so carefully she righted herself before the gateway, every nerve ending screaming for her to run to it. To pound and scream for help, but she stayed mute. Holding her knees tightly against her chest she sat there, burying her head and hiding from the darkness that threatened to consume her. Succumbing to her fear she silently cried again, each sob wrenching at her despairing heart. Every crystalline droplet wasted on her savior.

The soft creak and spill of dim light. A dark silhouette poised itself infront of her, casting a shadow upon her small body. A faint gasp escaped her lips as he neared; the images were still so fresh within her mind. Was he the monster? Would he hurt her? She cried and braised herself protectively from her ominous foe, every muscle tense and waiting for the blow that was to come.

Yet, nothing came.

She sat there, still and quiet; knowing that one move might endanger herself. She could hear a small padding, like bare-feet against a wooden floor. Ever-so-gently two large arms wrapped around her form, cradling her in a reassuring hug. Opening her eyes, she smiled and almost laughed as she stared at her guardian, her savior.

He twisted in step and softly stepped into the Elysium, the soft cloud cushioning her as she sunk into his haven. He smiled and brushed a lock from her face, before moving away, to only return from the other-side. Laying down gently, he turned away, but not before reaching down carefully to pull up the soft smooth blanket of stars around both of them.

Yet, she stayed still, quiet and unsure. She turned and stared at his broad back, fear gnawing at her heart, "Gohan?"

He grunted and turned, his angelic face watching her in the dark, "What?"

Tears came again, this time from the uncertainty of nightmares, "I saw you. You were hurt. You were hurt because of me. You did not answer me. You were quiet. You did not move."

A hiccup followed every sentence the words breaking and cracking in her tiny voice.

"Xenia…" A languid voice drawled as a hand reached out to gingerly wipe away her tears, "Don't worry. I'm here and I'll always be here."

"But-" He placed a sole finger against her tiny lips, the simple act silencing her completely.

"I won't let anything happen, not to you or Goten or Mom. Don't worry. I'll always protect you. Nothing will happen, I promise."

"You promise?" her eyes widened, full of renewed hope.

He simply smiled and nodded, a hand stretching out to ruffle her hair, "Yeah kiddo."

Ever-lasting hope and trust enveloped her as her angel smiled again, his amusement rising her spirits.

"Now, go to sleep."

The command was soft and gentle, but she complied dutifully and turned onto her side. Two hands wrapped around her holding her tightly, with that she felt everything begin the vanish. The roar was nothing, but a simple rumble that barely held any presence over her Elysium. The vicious, cackling of lightening now, only served as a inconstant night-light over the two. With that last though, they both fell into blissful dreams. Xenia's full of wild adventures featuring her savior.

END OF FLASHBACK

Through the silence of the room, the soft breathing of two people can be heard. Gohan snoring softly, his mouth pulled up into a soft smile against his lips. Through his nostalgic moment, he had fallen ill of his sister's present state and now both were fast asleep. Yet, what would bring the brightest smile was the link they possessed….for he still held her hand protectively within his.

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Well, what do ya think? I wanted some brotherly-sister bonding between Gohan and Xenia. Not too bad I hope. I worked real hard on the flashback with the thunderstorm, I hoped my efforts weren't in vain. I have a little cousin who never uses conjunctions. Instead of didn't she says did not, so I decided to write Xenia's speech like that.

With the flashback concerning Vasha, well, I just made the baby a male cause using "it" made it sound how do you say…retarded. It is not a hint.

Dang, that chapter came out longer than expected. Hmmmm, I am hoping this story won't be any longer than 45 chapters. I just don't know how much I should write, considering the TWO week time frame the virus places here. Have I left anything out?? Please tell me ok. In my mind I have everything explained, but then again I may forget that I never wrote some of these things in the story. Hope I am still keeping' you all interested. Ja ne minna-san!